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“Diaries of Adam & Eve” by Mark Twain

01 Sep

Dear God, last night, my wife and I attended a “reading” of a play based on Mark Twain’s The Diaries of Adam and Eve at The Tobin Center in San Antonio. It was two people performing a stage play adaptation of Twain’s work. Here is what I experienced last night.

  • We got to see it with a couple of men I’ve gotten to meet through Christian Men’s Life Skills. It was a special treat to get to see it with them, although I didn’t see a couple of things coming that I think made it hard on one of them who is going through a valley in life. More on that in a minute.
  • A weird thing that happened was that, about 20 minutes into the show (about 30 minutes after the stated start time), two caregivers brought in two wheelchair bound women who were…I don’t know the right word to use. They were to the point where they were not seemingly congnitively lucid. So it was quite a disruption to the audience and even the actors on the stage which would have been fine if I thought they were enjoying or appreciating the work, but they weren’t. At least one of them wasn’t.
  • How do I know she wasn’t? At the beginning she seemed scared and/or confused. On stage, Adam was working out his name that he said Eve had given to him in a comedic way: “A Damn? A dam! etc.” But the one woman was calling back another name that was different that Adam but it was almost like she wanted someone with a similar name. It was hard to hear. Again, I had a lot of space for this woman to be who she is in that environment regardless of what it cost me as an audience member as long as I thought it was blessing her. I just didn’t get the feeling it was blessing her. Quite the opposite. The other woman was responseless. It was hard to determine if she was processing anything one way or the other. How do I know all of this, by the way? Well, I was sitting immediately behind them because my two friends had sat in two handicap seats on the floor because one recently had a stroke and the wheelchairs were put right next to them. When the one woman would make noises, I was just praying to you to cover her with your peace. I felt bad for her.
  • A little later, the first woman started saying very loudly, “I want to go home!” It was loud and clear, although obviously the words of a woman who is able to get out few words now. I looked at her caregiver who was just patting her on the arm. I couldn’t understand 1.) why they had come so late, 2.) why they had brought them to the show in the first place, and 3.) why they were just keeping them there when they were obviously not enjoying it and disrupting the experience for everyone. Finally, after about 10 “I want to go homes,” the awkwardly and disruptively took the wheelchairs out of the theater. Shout out to the actors who pressed on and didn’t miss a beat.
  • Ironically, this part of the disruption went down during the “Fall.” I admit I missed part of what was happening on stage because I was trying to figure out if they needed me to step down and help them. They didn’t. And I should say that I’m telling all of the detail on this for a reason I’ll get to in a couple of points.
  • There were many beautiful and poignant parts of the play, but the climax is in the end when (spoiler alert) Eve dies. Adam has a line that is something to the effect of, “Better to have lived with out of the Garden with Eve than to have lived in it without her.” What an interesting statement. Was the “Fall” worth it (not that I’m blaming Eve–Adam was right there–) to avoid human lonliness? It made me think about my life. My wife and I have experienced pain together. There are times now when I annoy her. There are times when she does something that frustrates me. But isn’t it better to be fallen together than maybe a little less annoyed or frustrated alone? To see Adam express his sorrow over losing Eve. Of course, it made me think of my wife and how grateful I am for her, but it also made me think of one of my friends in the audience whose wife is currently on hospice. I don’t believe she has long before death, and they have been married 65 years. And yes, there has been pain and frustration between them. No, life hadn’t been perfect. But he would rather live out of the Garden with her than in the Garden without her.
  • When the who was over, my friend was standing, and then I saw he was crying. I just grabbed him and held him for a moment. I thought it would be the last scene with Adam that had gotten to him (and he told me later that it really did), but in that moment he was crying because of the woman in the wheelchair loudly saying, “I want to go home!” His wife is currently in a nursing home has she dies, and she apparently says that to him all of the time, and it breaks his heart. It was hard for all of us to hear her say that so loudly and emphatically when we could tell she wasn’t completely lucid, but it was especially hard for my friend to feel that sorrow on behalf of his wife as well.

Father, I want you no matter what. I want eternity with your Triune self of you, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. And I also want my wife there. But while we are out of the Garden and living here in this fallen world, I thank you for her. Eve had a line about hoping she died before Adam because he was too much a part of her and who she was for her to live without him. As for me, well, my wife and I joke that our goal is to go together and to go quickly. The odds of that are slim, but it’s hard for either of us to imagine life without the other. But the part of me that wants to care for her wants her to go first only because I don’t want there to be a time in this earthly existence for her that she doesn’t feel like I’m there for her. But all of that is in your hands. In the meantime. Today. I want to enjoy her. I want to enjoy her presence outside of the Garden. I want to sink into the presence of this woman you blessed me to know. And I know our marriage is unique. I know it’s unique to have been together for 37 years and still enjoy each other as much as we do. We have sorrows, to be sure. We have people missing from our lives that is a constant ache. I guess that’s part of being out of the Garden. But for this relationship, I am grateful. And please comfort my friend. Love his wife and be merciful to her as her time out of the Garden comes to an end and she prepares to enter your Garden on the other side of death. Help my friend to feel your love. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Comfort my friend, please.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman

25 Jul

“I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand, and have no fear
Cause I, I will be here

I will be here when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen and
I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and tryin’
We’ll be together ’cause I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the future is unclear
I, I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetime’s are made for years
So, I, I will be here

I will be here and you can cry on my shoulder,
When the mirror tells us we’re older,
I will hold you and
I will be here to watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

I, I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetime’s are made for years
So, I I will be here we’ll be together

I will be here

Dear God, my wife’s aunt sang this song at our wedding 34 years ago (today). It’s amazing how we can bravely, naively, and ignorantly make these promises. My wife and I were 21 and 22, respectively, when we made ours. Pretty young. Pretty naive. Pretty ignorant. Life would have challenges for us. And we’ve made it this far. I’m grateful we are still happy together. I’m grateful we still love and enjoy each other. I know many don’t. In mathematical terms, our relationship has not been the solid positive slope we anticipated. It’s been a sine wave with a positive trend: an oscillating wave. There have been many times when we’ve take two steps back to only get one step foward. But there have been other times when we’ve take five steps forward and only lost one step backward. My point is, it’s been harder to keep the promises of this song than we thought it would be, but because we have kept the promises we still have each other.

I don’t think I’ve made this link between the parable of the sower I read yesterday and the life of a marriage, but I suspect it might be as true for relationships as it is for individual lives.

  • The seed that falls on the path is the encouter between two people that just doesn’t work from the start.
  • The seed that falls in the rocks is the encounter that leads to a short-term relationship, but roots never grow, and they end up flaming out when things get uncomfortable.
  • The seed that falls in the thorns is the encounter that leads to real relationship, but we allow our hearts to get distracted by the pursuit of money and the cares of this world.
  • The seed that falls on the good soil is the relationship that works to till its soil. It works to love selflessly. It works to serve. It ignores the idols of even the relationship itself and gets each person to selflessly given themselves to you and to the other.

I want to be careful to say I don’t think there is a magic potion that will give someone a completely happy marriage. There is no solid “if/then” statement. “IF I do this, THEN this will definitely happen.” No, things can still go very wrong. The loss of a child is one. Sickness. Mental illness. The wheels can completely come off, and we might not end up living the life we want to live.

So back to the promises of this song. Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife are still married, but I know they’ve encountered difficult times. He’s talked about them. The most outwardly known one is when one of their young children died through an accident at home. They hadn’t taken that into account when they made their promises. I have a long list of things I didn’t take into account when I made my promises to my wife. But here we are, living up to the promises.

Father, help me to be here for my wife regardless of what it costs me. She’s your daughter. I’m your son-in-law. You have given her to me in marriage. Regardless of what it costs me, I am responsible for loving her the way you want me to love her. “I will be true to the promise I have made to [her] and to [You] who gave [her] to me.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Ephesians 5

19 Jun

5 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.

3 Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. 4 Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. 5 You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

6 Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. 7 Don’t participate in the things these people do. 8 For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! 9 For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

10 Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. 11 Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. 12 It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. 13 But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, 14 for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said,

“Awake, O sleeper,
    rise up from the dead,
    and Christ will give you light.”

15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5

Dear God, the verse of the day for Bible Gateway is verse 25. And it’s a great verse, but I think I want to take a look at this husbands and wives passage (which we had read at our wedding nearly 34 years ago) and put it in context with the overall Paul as making. Even going back to verse 1 of chapter 5, it says to imitate you in everything I do because I am your dear child. Paul tells me to be filled with love, following Jesus’s example. He goes into avoiding sexual immorality, impurity and greed. Baudy talk is to be avoided as well. It reminds me to be thankful to you. It describes a greedy person as an idolater and will not inherit the kingdom of Jesus.

I find it ironic that verse 6 criticizes those who excuse the sins. And while I can be critical here of others who have accepted sinful people as being part of the fold just because they like their leadership style, I need to turn the lens on myself and ask if I’ve accepted the sins of others I worship with or have I even accept them into my own life?

Verse 10 calls me to “carefully” discern what pleases you and to expose darkness. There are some more words about how to live, and then we get to verse 21. It starts with submitting to one another. How wives should submit and how husbands should submit. For wives, Paul certainly suggests a subservient attitude for women towards their husbands that I know is debatable. And I struggle with that as well. I’ve seen couples take that too far because they miss verses 25-30. Paul tells me that I basically have to be like Jesus. No pressure!

Father, I happen to be writing this prayer on a day when my wife is returning from the longest we’ve been apart in a long, long time. She’s been at a conference, and I hope it’s been a good, renewing time for her. I pray that it is. I hope she made friends, gained confidence, and is now feeling a sense of purpose in what you’re calling her to do next. I’ve perceived she’s been at a bit of a crossroads in who she is as a writer and poet, and then in her role in the music ministry at our church. I pray that this trip has given her confidence that she can be very capable of caring for herself. Traveling by herself. Managing other parts of her life. I pray that this was a life-giving week for her. And I pray that you’ve been working in me too. Help me to love her life you love me. Help me to give up my life for her. Help me to wash her and make her holy and clean, through the use of your Word. Help me to love her better, but, going back to verse 5:1, because I am becoming life you in everything.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2026 in Ephesians

 

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Divorce

12 Jun

Dear God, earlier this week, for whatever reason–I’ll credit it to the Holy Spirit–I started thinking about some old Gary Chapman songs from the 90s. I was really involved in the Christian music industry back then from the sales side so I know some of the artists from that time period that a lot of people wouldn’t remember. I guess it started Monday evening before I went to teach the Bible study for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class. I like to sing a song to put me in the right frame of mind after a busy day at work, and, this last Monday, “Sweet Jesus” is what popped in there and I was singing as I drove to the meeting. Later, I just started listening to the Gary Chapman songs on my phone. I probably have about ten of them. Then yesterday.

I was talking with a friend who is desperately unhappy in their marriage. It was hard to hear. I know if this friend had no financial barriers they’d have probably left the marriage a long time ago. But there are financial barriers. Seemingly significant ones. So we had this difficult talk yesterday. Difficult in that it was hard to hear that much pain from them and know who to be for them. Who YOU needed me to be for them. And who you need me to be for their spouse, whom I love very much as well. And their children, whom I know well and love. Oh, Holy Spirit, what am I to say?

Then last night I had some Gary Chapman music playing, and I decided to see what he is up to now. I got on YouTube and found an interview he did a couple of years ago. He talked about his divorce from Amy Grant back in the late 90s. He talked about his mistakes. He talked about forgiving Amy and her husband Vince Gill. He’s not perfect. He didn’t pretend to be. And Amy and Vince aren’t perfect. I’m sure they don’t pretend to be either. It was just an unfortunate situation that developed into a mess because flawed humans were involved. Maybe it was a mess from the beginning.

So this morning, divorce is heavy on my heart. Not for myself, but for my friend. For my friend’s spouse. For my friend’s children. Now that I think about it, this week actually started on Sunday with the fallout from a divorce of another friend. My wife and I got a text from this friend as they lit up their former spouse and the friend told us they didn’t know how we could be friends with both of them given how evil their ex is. So much pain. So much anger. So much hatred. And Satan delights…

I guess that takes me back to Satan’s Plan A: Division. He wants to divide us as families, churches, businesses, communities, states, nations, and the world. And we just jump into his plan with both feet. There’s just that little thing in us that wants to be God. That wants to be worshipped. That wants it all to go our way, and when there are competing gods there will be conflict. Just look at the Greek myths. I don’t know the stories well, but I don’t think they ever got along.

Father, going back to my original friend from yesterday, I pray that their journey from this day forward will start with you. I pray that unity with you will be their Plan A. They will not find peace, even in divorce, without unity with you. In fact, divorce is really nothing but a source of great pain. And right now they are not only living their lives, but setting an example for their children. So I pray for both of the people in this marriage to completely unite with you. To set their faces to the wind and embrace you. To pursue you. To love you. Of course, I pray that you will then work in their hearts to encourage repentance on both parts and forgiveness, but that won’t come until they are united with you. I just don’t see how it can happen if you aren’t Plan A. Help me to know how to love both of them. Help me to know how to love this friend who is mad at me for continuing to love their ex spouse. And while I’m praying, help me to love you better and my wife better. Help me to be as the title of a Gary Chapman song says, “A Man After Your Own Heart.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2026 in Musings and Stories

 

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“Banks” by NEEDTOBREATHE

24 Mar

“Banks” by NEEDTOBREATHE

I wanna be there when the voices in your head
Are loud enough to make you lose your mind
Just the same when you’re dominating the day
I wanna be the one who’s by your side

You know my love is not the jealous type
It doesn’t matter if we win or lose
I could stay or I could come
No matter where you’re coming from
I could be the one to let you choose

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

You are beautiful and wild at every turn
Who am I to take control of that?
Everybody needs a voice they can follow
When the water and the winds get bad

You know my love is not the jealous type
And it don’t matter if we win or lose
I could push or I could pull
No matter what you’re trying to do
As long as I can flow along with you

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

Baby, I ain’t saying that you need my help
But you don’t have to do it all by yourself
So, baby, when the current gets strong
You need somewhere to rest your bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be strong for you, oh, oh, oh

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
(I’ll be the banks for your river)
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
(I’ll be the banks for your river)
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Nathaniel Rinehart / William Rinehart / Trent Dabbs

Dear God, I remember back when my wife and I got married there was a Steven Curtis Chapman song called “Go There With You.” The big wedding song from him at the time was “I Will Be Here,” and we even had that sung at our wedding, but the one I liked more was “Go There With You.” The tune was a little more…I don’t know…soaring. And I loved it because it talked about caring for my wife no matter what. Being there for her. Being not only a man for her, but being your man for her. Your husband for her.

I came across this song a few days ago, and I liked it. It gives me that same vibe. It says a lot of what I feel for my wife. I want to be what you need me to be for her to completely live out the life you have for her to live. To knock over all of the dominoes you have for her to knock over. I want to do everything I can to be her enabler in serving you with joy and gusto. And it can be awkward because you’ve given me dominoes to knock over with my life too. You want me to have an impact on the world around me. But I guess I hope I live out the idea that my highest and first calling is to make sure she is living out her calling in you.

Father, I know I fail in this. Sometimes I fail her and I fail you. I’ve certainly failed our children in the past. I wish I hadn’t, but I have. But I ask that you please give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Help me to see for my wife what you see and where you want her to go. Give her good counsel through me and through her friends. Help her to hear your voice and be drawn to it. And if you have a role for me to play in guiding her then help me to do it gently and quietly. But please don’t let me get in your way. I want to only be what you need her to have through me. Help me to do that.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Mark 6:6b-11

06 Feb

Then Jesus went from village to village, teaching the people. 7 And he called his twelve disciples together and began sending them out two by two, giving them authority to cast out evil spirits. 8 He told them to take nothing for their journey except a walking stick—no food, no traveler’s bag, no money. 9 He allowed them to wear sandals but not to take a change of clothes.

10 “Wherever you go,” he said, “stay in the same house until you leave town. 11 But if any place refuses to welcome you or listen to you, shake its dust from your feet as you leave to show that you have abandoned those people to their fate.”

Mark 6:6b-11

Dear God, there seem to be so many things happening around me that disappoint me. I don’t like how some things are unfolding in the culture. They concern me. And there is so very little I can do about them. That’s what I thought about this morning when I read this story. I would guess that if I had asked any of Jesus’s disciples or even Jesus himself how they felt about what they saw happening around them and unfolding in their culture, they would have been concerned too. So what did Jesus tell them to do? Go out and cast out demons and, I assume, preach repentance and reconciliation with God, although, ironically, they still did not even come close to grasping what all you had in mind through Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection.

So here I am today. I have work to do. I have a job that needs me to be loving and compassionate. I have a friend who needs some comforting today. I have a wife who needs my love and support. I have children who need my prayer. I have these writing projects I’ve felt led to, wondering what exactly I’m supposed to do next.

Father, help me to not look to the world or the culture for my comfort or my peace. It’s okay to lament. It’s okay to see things and prayerfully take action. But you are my hope. You are the only thing that is the same yesterday, today, and forever. You are the only thing in which I can rest. So I start this day just loving you. Appreciating you. Thanking you for the blessing my wife and I got yesterday and praying over it and what we are trying to pass to someone else through that blessing. Cover our actions, Father. Guide my wife and me. Care for our children, siblings, nieces, and nephews. My parents. Lord, be glorified in this earth.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2025 in Mark

 

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Colossians 2:4,8

24 Nov

4 I am telling you this so no one will deceive you with well-crafted arguments. 

8 Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.

Colossians 2:4,8

Dear God, I took these two verses and put them together because they are actually the same thought, but separated by some exposition in verses 5-7.

It is so easy to be deceived by well-crafted arguments. And I’m not immune to it. I think my problem is that if I am going to hold to a theological or philosophical position, I want to know my why. Why do I believe this or that. If asked to defend it, what is my why?

For example, I know many, many young people who are living together now with either zero plans of marriage or with the philosophy that it is better to test drive the person before they buy. Well, that is a pretty simple argument that on the surface makes a lot of sense. And although my wife and I did not officially live together before we were married, we certainly blurred those lines beforehand. Either she would stay at my place sometimes, or I would stay with her. But even that wasn’t comingling our complete lives until we had the commitment of marriage. But now if I have some young friends who are talking to me about not wanting to get married because it’s too big of a commitment, and I can intuitively see the problem with that philosophy, do I have enough understanding of my own opinion or your opinion on the topic to make an articulate argument.

Here is a list of things that many churches right now are struggling through that are difficult because, I believe, they have the belief without knowing their why besides simply answering, “Because God said so.”

  • LGBTQ+ issues
  • Premarital sex
  • Living together before marriage
  • Women as senior pastors or in leadership at all
  • Immigration
  • Any number of denominational issues

I have varying opinions on all of these things, with some more conservative and some more liberal, but do I know my why? Do I know how to articulate and argue either against the empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense of the world or against a dogma that has been handed down through the church for millennia that may or may not be of you?

Father, I need your Holy Spirit to whisper in my ear. I need your wisdom. I need to make space for quiet. And I also want to know when to be firm in my stance and when to understand that I am just a source of your love and it is your Holy Spirit’s job to convict when it’s time to convict. So give me your wisdom. Give me your insight. And then flow through me in all of my relationships so that those you are calling will find you through my life.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 24, 2024 in Colossians

 

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Mark 10:1-16

06 Oct

10 Then Jesus left Capernaum and went down to the region of Judea and into the area east of the Jordan River. Once again crowds gathered around him, and as usual he was teaching them.

2 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?”

3 Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?”

4 “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.”

5 But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts. 6 But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. 7 ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, 8 and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, 9 let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

10 Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. 11 He told them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.”

13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could touch and bless them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.

14 When Jesus saw what was happening, he was angry with his disciples. He said to them, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. 15 I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” 16 Then he took the children in his arms and placed his hands on their heads and blessed them.

Mark 10:1-16

Dear God, I wonder how much of Jesus’s typical day on earth was spent with him just putting his face in the palm of his hand out of frustration. The two stories here are completely separate, but a theme is Jesus having to teach and correct things that had been generationally taught to the Pharisees, disciples, and everyone else in between.

In the first case, it was 1.) dealing with the skepticism of the Pharisees (which I don’t blame them for. I’d have been skeptical too) and 2.) having to correct an errant perspective on what marriage is. And I have to say that I do not know exactly what a first-century Pharisee thought marriage was, but it apparently wasn’t going back to the one basic fact that you built us for each other. You built us to humbly love and serve each other. You built us to fill a need each of us has that is part of our human condition (the perfectly created human condition, not the fallen human condition). Yes, there are times when we hurt each other. Yes, there are times when divorce has to happen because of the actions of one of the spouses over the other. But there are other times when both people are just failing to live up to what you’re calling us to do. To fill the need in our spouse that you call us to fill. I am here for her and to build up your daughter. She is here to build up your son. Yes, we each have calls on our lives. And one of my jobs is to make sure she has everything she needs to fulfill the call(s) you put on her. And one of her jobs is to help me fulfill the call(s) you put on me. To discern when one of us needs to sacrifice for that call. That is what you intended. So later when Jesus says a divorced person who remarries commits adultery, he is pointing his finger at the person who was not wronged through adultery or abuse by the other and recognizing the sin they are committing.

Then there is the disciples scolding parents for bringing their children for blessings. It’s hard for me to imagine the celebrity entourage aspect of Jesus walking around, but it makes me wonder if the disciples acted as his gatekeepers and how they made decisions on who got through the gate. Maybe they only let the really sick and lame through the gate. I don’t know how they drew the line, but they obviously didn’t respect the idea that parents were just wanting a blessing for their children from Jesus. They must have seen that as a frivolous use of Jesus’s (and their own) time. But Jesus pointed out that he loved these children, that the adults have something to learn from these children, and he wanted to bless these children. I’ve asked this before, but I can’t help but wonder what became of these children. How did their lives play out after having been blessed directly by Jesus.

Father, I have a lot to learn. I have so much to learn. My knowledge of you is steeped in my own selfish perspective, bad teaching from generations of errancy, and then a mix of actual knowledge of you through good teaching and times like this. Too often, I cannot tell what is right and what is wrong. So I am sorry for when I am wrong. I am sorry when I say things to other people that are wrong and I cause them to stumble from my bad teaching. I am sorry when I hurt your daughter, the woman I married 32 years ago. I am sorry when I don’t give her everything she needs to be the woman you created her to be. And I am sorry when I miss the mark on who you call me to be. But I bring you an earnest heart. I bring you a heart that wants to love you and love others. Thank you for the gift of Jesus and that that is enough for you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 6, 2024 in Mark

 

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The Church, Suffering, Marriage and Politics

04 Jul

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

Dear God, I have a lot of things seemingly converging on me this morning.

  1. There is an article in the new issue of Christianity Today called “Vanishing Vows: Can the Church Save What’s Left of Marriage?”
  2. I saw an interview with an Evangelical leader on the national stage talking about how the church is losing the next generation because they see us as more interested in politics and shaping the world instead of being who we are supposed to be as the church (and he was repenting and pointing the finger at himself as part of the problem).
  3. I have all of the anger and vitriol I am seeing in social media from some Christians about the government infringing on our freedoms, making us wear masks, etc.
  4. My encouragement of others to read the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, which has the thesis: “What if God intended marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”
  5. I have my own personal struggles, but also remarkable blessings.

So I’ve grabbed myself some breakfast tacos (already eaten), come to our town square at 8:00 in the morning, brought my copy of Christianity Today, my Bible, and my keyboard; and I figure I will just kind of hash some of this out with the Holy Spirit this morning. This is likely gong to be a long one, but that’s good. It’s good to just kind of curl up with you and see if I can get a look into your heart and my own.

I guess I’ll start with this Christianity Today article on marriage.

“Vanishing Vows: Can the Church Save What’s Left of Marriage?”

I just want to take some notes on quotes from the article that strike me as I read it:

  • “Rachel” met a guy through a dating site, got married, and later became a Christian, but getting marriage and becoming a Christian “felt like a package deal.” Before she became a Christian, “sex was less meaningful, cohabitation was defensible, and marriage was a piece of paper issued by the state…After coming to faith and joining a Southern Baptist church, she now believes that Marriage is a covenant before God and a sacred relationship.”
  • In 2005, 50% of men between 25 and 34 were married. By 2018 the number was 35%.
  • “Ander,” a 25-year-old med student in Spain is engaged to another med student. They’ve dated for 6 years. What’s he afraid of regarding marriage? “Not to be free. Tied to someone. Compromised. Things you don’t know you don’t know. maybe we’re okay now, but not later. Differences arise in a couple. The other person is different that you thought they were.” When asked if six years of dating hadn’t enabled him to know her he replied, “I feel like I don’t know her that well.” He recognizes his fears about marriage have taken on a life of their own: “This fear is not pathological and is stopping us n some way from doing a good thing.”
  • In the United States, 72% of men who attend church weekly will marry by 35. That number is 50% for men who don’t attend church regularly.
  • In 2014, 56% of Evangelicals between 20 and 39 were married. By 2018 it was 51%.
  • Cohabitation for Christians went from 3,9% in 2014 to 6.7% in 2018. Support for cohabitation over that time went from 16% to 27%.
  • The idea of commitment should help relieve fears of uncertainty, but the author’s research showed the uncertainty of the future kept people from committing.
  • “What people expect from marriage has changed profoundly, even through that marriage offers has not.”
  • Russell Moore in The Storm-Tossed Family: Marriage is increasingly a “vehicle of self-actualization” rather than a setting for self-sacrifice.
  • New attitude as stated by “Chloe”: “You have your 20s to focus on you, and then [after that] you try to help others.” Author’s conjecture: Self-sacrifice is learned behavior, not a gift for your 30th birthday. [my own comment–the same is true for philanthropic giving and tithing]
  • 28-year-old Pentecostal woman from Lagos: “When I have everything I want. When I am able to achieve everything I want to achieve for myself. Then I will get married.”
  • “Farah” is a 25-year-old single Lebanese Christian woman. Lots of devout Lebanese women wait. When they do marry, they seem to work more, not less, since the cost of living in Beirut outpaces salaries. Spare time is swamped with domestic responsibilities: “When both spouses are working, they come home tired. Even before they have kids, the couple doesn’t have the time to sit together, so they delay their discussion time. They delay things to Saturday, usually, so Saturdays or weekends become overloaded, which becomes very tiring. This challenging condition is creating a new image of marriage.”
  • Author opinion: While most people marry with affection–as they should–marriage, when you observe it across time and place, still concerns the mutual provision and transfer of resources within a formalized sexual unction. That may sound unsexy and old-fashioned, but it’s not untrue. Matrimony has long depended on an exchange based on inequalities between the spouses: He needs shat she has, and vice versa. Many balk at this notion.
  • Author opinion: In an era of increasing options, technology, gender equality, cheap” sex, and secular inaction, fewer people–including fewer practicing Christians–actually want what marriage is. That’s the bottom line.
  • Since the secular inaction of the West feeds on and sustains the flight from marriage, the life of faith is key. But if the church becomes marriage’s primary defender n the West, how exactly do we protect and encourage it for those inside and outside our sanctuaries?
  • When talking to couples who had embraced marriage: “Meeting a mate seemed more likely to occur–or be on its way soon–when our interviewees focused on holiness before loneliness.”
  • Author opinion: Marriage is an earthly arrangement, on that our Lord noted will not be found in the post-resurrection kingdom of God (Matthew 22:30). It’s a tool for material flourishing and a vehicle for spiritual progress that provides daily (if not hourly) opportunities to exhibit sacrificial incarnational love.

Interview with Rob Schenck, President of the Dietrich Bonhoeffer Institute

  • “There was a Faustian deal made with Donald Trump which went something like this: Donald Trump promised, “I will give you everything you’ve ever wanted on your laundry list of political deliverables if you will give me what I want and demand, and that is religious cover. I need you to say that I’m blessed of God and that everything I’ve done is good.”

Going back to the passage from Mark 8 above and combining it with the article on marriage and this video, are we weakened as individuals and as a church when we get the power and influence over culture that we want? Are we better off when we are persecuted and struggling? Isn’t that how the church in Acts grew? Isn’t that how the Israelite nation grew in Exodus? Have we made an idol of political influence? Have we made a idol of our comfort and our own personal agendas? What if you want to make us holy more than to make us happy?

  • The Southern Baptist Convention reports 13 straight years of decline with the last year being the largest (biggest single year decline in more than 100 years)–and Baptists aren’t alone. And the younger the age group the more alarming the drop. Would people be more attracted to the church if they saw it struggling and caring instead of its members yelling and demanding? “Young people especially are leaving Evangelical churches in droves. And why? Because they see the hypocrisy. They see an identification with establishment power. With political force and influence. They are tired of the combat. The social conflict…”

Conclusion

Father, while this is all good sermon material, what do you have here for me? Where do I compromise my call for my comfort? Do I overlook the needs of others because it’s too much work for me? Do I get too involved in seeking influence and compromise my convictions? Do I fail to take a stand for what I feel is right in deference to those who might financially support the nonprofit where I work? Holy Spirit, give me ears to hear, eyes to see, and words to say. Help me to be your influence on those around me through them seeing yours love and glory in me and not my judgment and self-righteousness.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 4, 2020 in Miscellaneous

 

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What I would say…

07 Jun

Dear God, I have some relatives graduating and one getting engaged this year. When I was thinking about graduation presents for them, I thought of two things.

For the graduates, I thought of a daily devotion book called My Utmost for His Highest. You know I know this one well. In fact, it was my source for scripture when I first started doing these prayer journals to you 20 years ago. But my history with that book actually goes back closer to 40 years. My dad used it as a daily devotion when I was young, and he gave me a copy of it when I graduated from high school. The inscription reads:

8/27/88

John,

This book has really been meaningful to me as it constantly challenges me to turn loose of the distractions of life and to move into a deeper personal relationship with Jesus. I pray that you will likewise find it helpful in your personal walk with the Lord as you enter an exciting new phase in your life as a Baylor student.

Love,

Dad

I used it regularly my freshman year of college. The weakness in it for me is that its words were written pre World War I by a Brit, and the British language he used in the early 20th century was different than the language we use now. Thankfully, about 30 years ago, James Reimann re-edited it to update the language and it’s even clearer now.

The theology is this book is so solid, but I often found that just reading the daily verse, reading Mr. Chambers’s reflection on it, and then saying a prayer to you didn’t stick with me throughout the day. It wasn’t until I started to journal through the passages starting in April 2000 that your scripture and what you were saying to me through it began to seep into my soul.

So I found this version of the James Reimann edited edition that includes a column for at least writing down some personal reflections. IMG_3111

I ordered one for my niece and my nephew. I pray over these two books, that you will use them along with all of the other tools in your toolbox to draw their hearts into yours and lead them to lives submitted to you.

The second book I ordered was the one that changed the course of my marriage and who I eventually became as a husband to my wife. This one is for the niece who got engaged. It’s called Sacred Marriage and it was written by Gary Thomas. IMG_3112

The subtitle of the book is “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” That question alone gets your attention. Through reading this book and attending a workshop in person with my wife, you revealed to me how much I was depending upon my wife’s and children’s acceptance for my sense of worth instead of simply leaning into you. Ironically (or perhaps, providentially), I encountered this book right about the same time I started doing these prayer journals to you. I know we’ve talked about this a lot before, but I was a needy husband, and my neediness was oppressive to my wife. She could never fill up my “God hole” that I’d allowed to grow without you. I had made her an idol. I became codependent. It was all bad. But Gary helped me to see how you use my wife, my children, and everyone around me to shape me through the giving of myself, not the taking. That simple paradigm shift changed everything, and it helped me to become more disciplined in my pursuit of you as the source of my joy and peace.

So I have these young relatives who are starting new chapters in their lives. They have tremendous opportunities to radically affect the trajectory of their lives through the choices they make now. Who will they be in 10, 20, or 30 years? Well, as an uncle that they know just a little, I hope that what they know of me will give me the credibility to share these two critical tools you used on me and have them receive them as part of the tools you are using on them.

Father, I want to pray over my niece and my nephew right now. I pray for my niece, that she will experience the full measure of who you are. Help her to embrace you completely. Help her fiancé to completely embrace you as well. And as they work out their respective faiths with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), unite their hearts together completely. Give them mutual respect and help them to turn loose of their expectations of the other. Fill them with so much of your presence that they don’t need to look to the other for their worth. And for my nephew, he has had a rough and confusing few years, but now he’s about to start college. There is a lot of healing to do there. Guide him in into your heart. Hold him close. Raise up people around him whom you will use to strengthen and encourage him. Heal his broken relationships and bring glory to your name through his life.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2020 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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