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James 2:1-4

15 Oct

2 My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?

2 For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. 3 If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, 4 doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives?

James 2:1-4

Dear God, as a fundraiser, this can be a struggle. In personal friendships, I really don’t care about a person’s social standing. At least I don’t think I do. But as a fundraiser there is a great temptation to treat those who can do more for me as more important that those who can’t.

I was with a group of men a couple of nights ago, and we were looking at this passage. That’s when it hit me. We see the person with more means and are tempted to treat them better. As if they were more important. More valuable. But what makes them more important? To whom are they more valuable? Answer: To me. That’s what hit me. At the end of the day, this sin is rooted in my selfishness.

When I first started doing fundraising right at 23 years ago, that was one of the first things I had to wrestle with: Am I engaging with this person because I truly care about them, or am I trying to manipulate them so they will give me what I want?

I guess that can be said of my relationship with you as well. Am I here so I can check to “heaven” box and get what I want from you, or am I here because I love you. I read an interview this morning with a widow who said in the interview that her one motivation right now is to get herself as close to you as possible so she will get to heaven and get to be with her husband again. I felt bad for her. Honestly, she’s still grieving and I don’t hold it against her that she said this. I don’t think you do either. But I also think, a few years from now–well, I hope a few years from now she will be comforted enough to turn her attention to simply loving you and let go of trying to impress you so she can get what she wants.

Father, help me to be all about loving others and not about serving myself. I’ll be with some other pastors today. I know they are all under a tremendous amount of pressure as they lead their congregations. Help me be a blessing to them. I am having lunch with a friend, and I want to be all about him and about you in this lunch meeting. When I interact with staff, volunteers, or anyone else, I want to simply be your ambassador and worshipper. Help me to be that.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2026 in James

 

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“Diaries of Adam & Eve” by Mark Twain

01 Sep

Dear God, last night, my wife and I attended a “reading” of a play based on Mark Twain’s The Diaries of Adam and Eve at The Tobin Center in San Antonio. It was two people performing a stage play adaptation of Twain’s work. Here is what I experienced last night.

  • We got to see it with a couple of men I’ve gotten to meet through Christian Men’s Life Skills. It was a special treat to get to see it with them, although I didn’t see a couple of things coming that I think made it hard on one of them who is going through a valley in life. More on that in a minute.
  • A weird thing that happened was that, about 20 minutes into the show (about 30 minutes after the stated start time), two caregivers brought in two wheelchair bound women who were…I don’t know the right word to use. They were to the point where they were not seemingly congnitively lucid. So it was quite a disruption to the audience and even the actors on the stage which would have been fine if I thought they were enjoying or appreciating the work, but they weren’t. At least one of them wasn’t.
  • How do I know she wasn’t? At the beginning she seemed scared and/or confused. On stage, Adam was working out his name that he said Eve had given to him in a comedic way: “A Damn? A dam! etc.” But the one woman was calling back another name that was different that Adam but it was almost like she wanted someone with a similar name. It was hard to hear. Again, I had a lot of space for this woman to be who she is in that environment regardless of what it cost me as an audience member as long as I thought it was blessing her. I just didn’t get the feeling it was blessing her. Quite the opposite. The other woman was responseless. It was hard to determine if she was processing anything one way or the other. How do I know all of this, by the way? Well, I was sitting immediately behind them because my two friends had sat in two handicap seats on the floor because one recently had a stroke and the wheelchairs were put right next to them. When the one woman would make noises, I was just praying to you to cover her with your peace. I felt bad for her.
  • A little later, the first woman started saying very loudly, “I want to go home!” It was loud and clear, although obviously the words of a woman who is able to get out few words now. I looked at her caregiver who was just patting her on the arm. I couldn’t understand 1.) why they had come so late, 2.) why they had brought them to the show in the first place, and 3.) why they were just keeping them there when they were obviously not enjoying it and disrupting the experience for everyone. Finally, after about 10 “I want to go homes,” the awkwardly and disruptively took the wheelchairs out of the theater. Shout out to the actors who pressed on and didn’t miss a beat.
  • Ironically, this part of the disruption went down during the “Fall.” I admit I missed part of what was happening on stage because I was trying to figure out if they needed me to step down and help them. They didn’t. And I should say that I’m telling all of the detail on this for a reason I’ll get to in a couple of points.
  • There were many beautiful and poignant parts of the play, but the climax is in the end when (spoiler alert) Eve dies. Adam has a line that is something to the effect of, “Better to have lived with out of the Garden with Eve than to have lived in it without her.” What an interesting statement. Was the “Fall” worth it (not that I’m blaming Eve–Adam was right there–) to avoid human lonliness? It made me think about my life. My wife and I have experienced pain together. There are times now when I annoy her. There are times when she does something that frustrates me. But isn’t it better to be fallen together than maybe a little less annoyed or frustrated alone? To see Adam express his sorrow over losing Eve. Of course, it made me think of my wife and how grateful I am for her, but it also made me think of one of my friends in the audience whose wife is currently on hospice. I don’t believe she has long before death, and they have been married 65 years. And yes, there has been pain and frustration between them. No, life hadn’t been perfect. But he would rather live out of the Garden with her than in the Garden without her.
  • When the who was over, my friend was standing, and then I saw he was crying. I just grabbed him and held him for a moment. I thought it would be the last scene with Adam that had gotten to him (and he told me later that it really did), but in that moment he was crying because of the woman in the wheelchair loudly saying, “I want to go home!” His wife is currently in a nursing home has she dies, and she apparently says that to him all of the time, and it breaks his heart. It was hard for all of us to hear her say that so loudly and emphatically when we could tell she wasn’t completely lucid, but it was especially hard for my friend to feel that sorrow on behalf of his wife as well.

Father, I want you no matter what. I want eternity with your Triune self of you, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. And I also want my wife there. But while we are out of the Garden and living here in this fallen world, I thank you for her. Eve had a line about hoping she died before Adam because he was too much a part of her and who she was for her to live without him. As for me, well, my wife and I joke that our goal is to go together and to go quickly. The odds of that are slim, but it’s hard for either of us to imagine life without the other. But the part of me that wants to care for her wants her to go first only because I don’t want there to be a time in this earthly existence for her that she doesn’t feel like I’m there for her. But all of that is in your hands. In the meantime. Today. I want to enjoy her. I want to enjoy her presence outside of the Garden. I want to sink into the presence of this woman you blessed me to know. And I know our marriage is unique. I know it’s unique to have been together for 37 years and still enjoy each other as much as we do. We have sorrows, to be sure. We have people missing from our lives that is a constant ache. I guess that’s part of being out of the Garden. But for this relationship, I am grateful. And please comfort my friend. Love his wife and be merciful to her as her time out of the Garden comes to an end and she prepares to enter your Garden on the other side of death. Help my friend to feel your love. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Comfort my friend, please.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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My Best Friend’s Anniversary

12 Aug

Dear God, I want to just talk a little with you today about what happened 31 years ago. My best friend from high school got married, and I was grateful to be selected as his best man. My wife and I had been married three years at that point, and we flew from our home in Dallas to Houston for the wedding. During the rehearsal dinner, my wife started having abdominal pain. I took her back to our hotel room after the dinner and then went out with the groom and some of his college friends and hung out until about 2:00 in the morning. When I got back to the room, my wife was still in a lot of pain, so I took her to a local Emergency Room. I can’t remember if it was while we were waiting to be taken back (which took a couple of hours) or while we were waiting for a room where she could be admitted (which took even more hours), at some point she told me that before we left Dallas she felt like you had told her, “Your pregnant. It’s a girl. It’s not going to work out.” As it turned out, she had an ectopic pregnancy and we were afraid she would have to lose one of her fallopian tubes. Of course, that would impact our ability to have children in the future. Our doctor was Iranian and it was difficult to understand him through his accent (and he didn’t have the warmest personality). My mother-in-law’s GYN consulted with us by phone and helped us in our decision making. My mother-in-law came from Austin. My parents were already in Houston for the wedding. Thankfully, later that night my mother was with my wife when she passed the pregnancy on her own. I left for a few hours during that Saturday to be part of the wedding, but I didn’t stick around for the reception. I just went back to the hospital as soon as I could.

I have a distinct memory of being on my knees at her bedside and praying to you. I was praying that I trusted you. My heart was broken. I was crying. But I told you that I believed and trusted in you so much that even if I was wrong and the path of following you led to hell then I would follow you to hell. The did surgery on her two days later to make sure everything was okay. She was able to not have anything removed, and we would end up getting pregnant with our son just two months later. One of the hardest parts was getting my wife home. I had to drive her to the airport with only a big t-shirt on and a stuffed dog I bought her at a local Toys R Us sitting in her lap. Every imperfection in the road hurt. I wheeled her through the airport, we boarded our Southwest flight, got back to Love Field in Dallas and then drove back to our third-floor apartment. It was quite the thing for a 24- (her) and 25-year old (me) to go through.

We named our unborn girl Sandra, and every year I remember August 12 as her “birthday,” or the day my wife passed her pregnancy on her own. I also remember my friends anniversary that same day. I always know how long they’ve been married too.

Father, I don’t know where Sandra is right now. I like to imagine her looking down on the parents who never met her, but whom she loves and cares about. As she looks at her two siblings, one of whom would not have been born if her pregnancy had made it, I like to think of her praying for them. That she loves them even though I don’t think they regard her existence as very real. But I do. I think she prays for my wife and me too. Especially our struggles and sorrows. I told my wife that I hope she’s proud of us as she watches to move through life. I hope she’s enjoying the love she feels from my wife’s parents who have already passed from this world into the next. From my grandparents. She’s part of our family. Our legacy. And I’ll get to meet her one day. One day, I will understand so much more than I understand now. Oh, what a joy that will be. So happy anniversary, 31st Johnny and Karen. Happy 31st birthday, Sandra. All of you have my love. Father, please bless Johnny and Karen with your presence in their lives and enjoy the worship and presence of my daughter.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman

25 Jul

“I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand, and have no fear
Cause I, I will be here

I will be here when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen and
I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and tryin’
We’ll be together ’cause I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the future is unclear
I, I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetime’s are made for years
So, I, I will be here

I will be here and you can cry on my shoulder,
When the mirror tells us we’re older,
I will hold you and
I will be here to watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

I, I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetime’s are made for years
So, I I will be here we’ll be together

I will be here

Dear God, my wife’s aunt sang this song at our wedding 34 years ago (today). It’s amazing how we can bravely, naively, and ignorantly make these promises. My wife and I were 21 and 22, respectively, when we made ours. Pretty young. Pretty naive. Pretty ignorant. Life would have challenges for us. And we’ve made it this far. I’m grateful we are still happy together. I’m grateful we still love and enjoy each other. I know many don’t. In mathematical terms, our relationship has not been the solid positive slope we anticipated. It’s been a sine wave with a positive trend: an oscillating wave. There have been many times when we’ve take two steps back to only get one step foward. But there have been other times when we’ve take five steps forward and only lost one step backward. My point is, it’s been harder to keep the promises of this song than we thought it would be, but because we have kept the promises we still have each other.

I don’t think I’ve made this link between the parable of the sower I read yesterday and the life of a marriage, but I suspect it might be as true for relationships as it is for individual lives.

  • The seed that falls on the path is the encouter between two people that just doesn’t work from the start.
  • The seed that falls in the rocks is the encounter that leads to a short-term relationship, but roots never grow, and they end up flaming out when things get uncomfortable.
  • The seed that falls in the thorns is the encounter that leads to real relationship, but we allow our hearts to get distracted by the pursuit of money and the cares of this world.
  • The seed that falls on the good soil is the relationship that works to till its soil. It works to love selflessly. It works to serve. It ignores the idols of even the relationship itself and gets each person to selflessly given themselves to you and to the other.

I want to be careful to say I don’t think there is a magic potion that will give someone a completely happy marriage. There is no solid “if/then” statement. “IF I do this, THEN this will definitely happen.” No, things can still go very wrong. The loss of a child is one. Sickness. Mental illness. The wheels can completely come off, and we might not end up living the life we want to live.

So back to the promises of this song. Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife are still married, but I know they’ve encountered difficult times. He’s talked about them. The most outwardly known one is when one of their young children died through an accident at home. They hadn’t taken that into account when they made their promises. I have a long list of things I didn’t take into account when I made my promises to my wife. But here we are, living up to the promises.

Father, help me to be here for my wife regardless of what it costs me. She’s your daughter. I’m your son-in-law. You have given her to me in marriage. Regardless of what it costs me, I am responsible for loving her the way you want me to love her. “I will be true to the promise I have made to [her] and to [You] who gave [her] to me.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Divorce

12 Jun

Dear God, earlier this week, for whatever reason–I’ll credit it to the Holy Spirit–I started thinking about some old Gary Chapman songs from the 90s. I was really involved in the Christian music industry back then from the sales side so I know some of the artists from that time period that a lot of people wouldn’t remember. I guess it started Monday evening before I went to teach the Bible study for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class. I like to sing a song to put me in the right frame of mind after a busy day at work, and, this last Monday, “Sweet Jesus” is what popped in there and I was singing as I drove to the meeting. Later, I just started listening to the Gary Chapman songs on my phone. I probably have about ten of them. Then yesterday.

I was talking with a friend who is desperately unhappy in their marriage. It was hard to hear. I know if this friend had no financial barriers they’d have probably left the marriage a long time ago. But there are financial barriers. Seemingly significant ones. So we had this difficult talk yesterday. Difficult in that it was hard to hear that much pain from them and know who to be for them. Who YOU needed me to be for them. And who you need me to be for their spouse, whom I love very much as well. And their children, whom I know well and love. Oh, Holy Spirit, what am I to say?

Then last night I had some Gary Chapman music playing, and I decided to see what he is up to now. I got on YouTube and found an interview he did a couple of years ago. He talked about his divorce from Amy Grant back in the late 90s. He talked about his mistakes. He talked about forgiving Amy and her husband Vince Gill. He’s not perfect. He didn’t pretend to be. And Amy and Vince aren’t perfect. I’m sure they don’t pretend to be either. It was just an unfortunate situation that developed into a mess because flawed humans were involved. Maybe it was a mess from the beginning.

So this morning, divorce is heavy on my heart. Not for myself, but for my friend. For my friend’s spouse. For my friend’s children. Now that I think about it, this week actually started on Sunday with the fallout from a divorce of another friend. My wife and I got a text from this friend as they lit up their former spouse and the friend told us they didn’t know how we could be friends with both of them given how evil their ex is. So much pain. So much anger. So much hatred. And Satan delights…

I guess that takes me back to Satan’s Plan A: Division. He wants to divide us as families, churches, businesses, communities, states, nations, and the world. And we just jump into his plan with both feet. There’s just that little thing in us that wants to be God. That wants to be worshipped. That wants it all to go our way, and when there are competing gods there will be conflict. Just look at the Greek myths. I don’t know the stories well, but I don’t think they ever got along.

Father, going back to my original friend from yesterday, I pray that their journey from this day forward will start with you. I pray that unity with you will be their Plan A. They will not find peace, even in divorce, without unity with you. In fact, divorce is really nothing but a source of great pain. And right now they are not only living their lives, but setting an example for their children. So I pray for both of the people in this marriage to completely unite with you. To set their faces to the wind and embrace you. To pursue you. To love you. Of course, I pray that you will then work in their hearts to encourage repentance on both parts and forgiveness, but that won’t come until they are united with you. I just don’t see how it can happen if you aren’t Plan A. Help me to know how to love both of them. Help me to know how to love this friend who is mad at me for continuing to love their ex spouse. And while I’m praying, help me to love you better and my wife better. Help me to be as the title of a Gary Chapman song says, “A Man After Your Own Heart.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2026 in Musings and Stories

 

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Fences and Walls – Malcolm Foley, Sharon Hodde Miller, and Mike Strehlow

07 Jun

Dear God, this whole podcast yesterday was about the value of struggling. Choosing the harder, slower path because it can be of value. They talked about AI’s efforts to remove struggling in our lives. They also talked about relationships and how there is a tendency today to put up walls instead of boundaries. In this segment starting at about the 45-minute mark, they talked about the difference between a picket fence and a wall. A picket fence is used to set a boundary and keep in/out small animals (cats excluded, I assume since they can get over most fences easily) and children but still allows interactions between adults and walls which set a boundary but also knock out relationship.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother recently. I told her that, in my mind, government has worked best when different views have to work together and compromise. If one party had complete control of the House of Representatives (all 435 seats), the Senate (all 100 seats), the Supreme Court (all 9 seats), and the Presidency (1 seat), it would be a disaster, but that seems to be our goal. That’s what gerrymandering is all about. How can my party get more control so we can get our way without effort or compromise? How can I make life easier for me with more power? Even if I were a Republican, I shouldn’t want all 535 seats of Congress, all 9 Supreme Court seats, and the White House. Same is true if I were a Democrat. The result would be horrible.

In the context of the video segment I linked above, if I were only in relationship with like-minded people then it would be bad for me. I need the iron of others to rub up against me and sharpen my iron. I need smart people who disagree with me. I need to learn to compromise because–guess what–I’m not always right! No one is. We all need to be corrected.

One thing about the younger generation now is that more and more of them struggle to know how to interact with other people in person. A friend and I were talking yesterday about how waiting tables earlier in our lives taught us so much. Multitasking. Dealing with difficult people. Self-confidence. Sales. It was hard work, but we were better for it.

Father, help me to embrace the difficulty of interpersonal relationships, including those with family who are difficult. Yes, it would be easier to put up a wall. It would be a path of less resistance if I just leave behind those who bother me, annoy me, or challenge me for a path where there is no challenge, but I would be missing something huge. I’d be missing the opportunity to learn from them, and I might miss the opportunity to impart you to them. You make me better. My wife makes me better. My friends and coworkers make me better. My family makes me better. One of the great things about community is how it forces me to get out of myself and be a little more humble. Help me to be that humble.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“The Parting Glass” by Ian Fowden

16 May

“Parting Glass”

Of all the money ere I had, I spent it in good company,
And all the harm I’ve ever done, alas was to none but me.
And all I’ve done for want of wit, to memory now I can’t recall.
So fill me to the parting glass, goodnight and joy be with you all.

If I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile,
There is a fair maid in this town who sorely has my heart beguiled.
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips, I own she has my heart in thrall.
So fill me to the parting glass – goodnight, and joy be with you all.

Of all the comrades ere I had, they’re sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts ere I had , they wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot that I should go and you should not,
I’ll gently rise and softly call, goodnight and joy be with you all.

Scottish Traditional Ballad, curated in 1770, but older in origin

Dear God, human sentimentality is a curious but beautiful thing. I came across this video from nine years ago this afternoon. It’s my wife’s cousin paying tribute to his father on the day of his funeral. Humans are just capable of so much love and appreciation for each other. It must be just a taste of what you have for us. It’s a part of us that is like your image, but we are a mere reflection–an often poor reflection–of how you feel.

What is it that steals this love and affection we have for each other? It’s often self-pity, I suppose. A feeling that our rights were somehow violated. I think about the people in my life who refuse to show me mercy, and I think that would be part of their story towards me. They feel that I somehow violated their rights and wronged them, and to some extent I did. There’s frankly really nothing I can do about those mistakes I made. It’s sad to me that those mistakes have nullfied the good I did. In retrospect, I even question if they can articulate the mistakes I made. What exactly is it they are angry about? Yet, they feel wronged. Their rights were violated. Pity should be extended to them and vengeance against me is theirs. No mercy. No, not any.

But this song and the spirit that drove it’s writing hundreds of years ago, is just great because it shows an appreciation of life. Of the lives of others and of one’s own life. And we only get so much time in this phase of life. I am pryerful that those who resent me will be able to be with me for eternity, and all of this pain in this life won’t matter anymore.

Father, I’m reminded of a line from Rich Mullins’s “Land of My Sojourn” that says, “Nobody tells you when you get born here how much you’ll come to love it and how you’ll never belong here. So I’ll call you my country, but I’ll be lonely for my home. I wish that I could take you there with me.” While I live between the now and the not yet, help me to find peace and live in the richness of the love and sentimentality that you put into me. And help me to find the mercy you have for me to give to anyone against whom I’m still holding a grudge.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Two Sets of Joneses” by Big Tent Revival

25 Apr

“Two Sets of Joneses” by Big Tent Revival

Well, this here’s a song about two sets of Jones’
Rothchild, Evelyn, Reuben and Sue
Just for discussion, through random selection
We’ve chosen two couples who haven’t a clue
Rothchild was lucky to marry so wealthy
Evelyn bought him a house on the beach
Reuben and Sue, they had nothing but Jesus
And at night they would pray that He’d care for them each

And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
And one set of Jones’ was standing that day

Evelyn’s daddy was proud of young Rothchild
He worked the late hours to be number one
Just newlyweds and their marriage got rocky
He’s flying to Dallas, she’s having a son
Reuben was holding a Gideon’s Bible
And he screamed, “It’s a boy!” so that everyone heard
And the guys at the factory took a collection
Again, God provided for bills he’d incurred

And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
And one set of Jones’ was standing that day

So, what is the point of this story?
What am I trying to say?
Well, is your life built on the rock of Christ Jesus?
Or a sandy foundation you’ve managed to lay?
Well, needless to say, Evelyn left her husband
And sued him for every penny he had
And I truly wish those two would find Jesus
Before things get worse than they already have

And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
And one set of Jones’ was standing that day
And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
There’s two sets of Jones’
Which ones will you be?

Dear God, I was listening to a playlist yesterday of 90s Christian music and this song came up. It brought back memories of 1995 (the year the song came out). My wife and I were living for a year in Dallas, and I worked for a Christian music publisher. I actually helped sell this album through a technologically-obsolete marketing stream called the “record club.” On Saturday mornings, a TV station on cable would play Christian music videos, and I remember seeing this video and liking it. I also remember feelings of arrogance, now that I think back on it. Kind of a, “Yeah, my wife and I are doing this right so we will have the good marriage. We love Jesus.”

Thirty-four years of marriage, 30 years of parenting, and decades of watching others succeed and struggle (sometimes both) changed my view of this song and the arrogance I had. As I sat down this morning and started praying about this, it made me wonder how the members of Big Tent Revival have done over the years and how they would reflect on this song now. Over the last 30 years, I’ve come to see messages like this song as a type of “prosperity gospel.” Someone is offering me checkboxes to get what I want. If I will be humble, worship you, and foresake earthly pursuits then I’ll have that marriage and family that I want. But I’ve come to learn through experience that that’s not how life works. Yes, you provide a bedrock of love and guidance for me, but a marriage can still fall apart even when both people are following you. I know a couple who lost a son to suicide three years ago. The husband is a pastor. She filed for divorce recently.

With the struggles I’ve been through, I used to complain that I was disappointed with you. How could you let these things happen? I knew life would still throw me curveballs, but you were supposed to be teaching me how to hit them, right? But that’s not how it works. Life happens. You just say, “Come to me. I will give you rest.”

Father, don’t get me wrong. I think the life spent worshipping you, repenting before you, and loving others will exhibit fruit that I want, but it will be fruit that grows out of me, not fruit that I consume from others. Life is going to do what life is going to do. There are good people dying in Ukraine, Iran, Israel, Lebanon, Russia, etc. They don’t have much control over it. Life is happening to them. I thank you for the patience you’ve had with me over the last 30 years. I’m not the man I was in 1995. Honestly, I don’t know how much I like that version of me. I mean, I was alright for a 25-year-old, but I was so much more dogmatic than I am now. Some people would call that “woke.” I call it humble. So I sit here this morning and humbly ask that you be my God and help me to move through this day, offering you to everyone I see.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Banks” by NEEDTOBREATHE

24 Mar

“Banks” by NEEDTOBREATHE

I wanna be there when the voices in your head
Are loud enough to make you lose your mind
Just the same when you’re dominating the day
I wanna be the one who’s by your side

You know my love is not the jealous type
It doesn’t matter if we win or lose
I could stay or I could come
No matter where you’re coming from
I could be the one to let you choose

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

You are beautiful and wild at every turn
Who am I to take control of that?
Everybody needs a voice they can follow
When the water and the winds get bad

You know my love is not the jealous type
And it don’t matter if we win or lose
I could push or I could pull
No matter what you’re trying to do
As long as I can flow along with you

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

Baby, I ain’t saying that you need my help
But you don’t have to do it all by yourself
So, baby, when the current gets strong
You need somewhere to rest your bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be strong for you, oh, oh, oh

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
(I’ll be the banks for your river)
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
(I’ll be the banks for your river)
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Nathaniel Rinehart / William Rinehart / Trent Dabbs

Dear God, I remember back when my wife and I got married there was a Steven Curtis Chapman song called “Go There With You.” The big wedding song from him at the time was “I Will Be Here,” and we even had that sung at our wedding, but the one I liked more was “Go There With You.” The tune was a little more…I don’t know…soaring. And I loved it because it talked about caring for my wife no matter what. Being there for her. Being not only a man for her, but being your man for her. Your husband for her.

I came across this song a few days ago, and I liked it. It gives me that same vibe. It says a lot of what I feel for my wife. I want to be what you need me to be for her to completely live out the life you have for her to live. To knock over all of the dominoes you have for her to knock over. I want to do everything I can to be her enabler in serving you with joy and gusto. And it can be awkward because you’ve given me dominoes to knock over with my life too. You want me to have an impact on the world around me. But I guess I hope I live out the idea that my highest and first calling is to make sure she is living out her calling in you.

Father, I know I fail in this. Sometimes I fail her and I fail you. I’ve certainly failed our children in the past. I wish I hadn’t, but I have. But I ask that you please give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Help me to see for my wife what you see and where you want her to go. Give her good counsel through me and through her friends. Help her to hear your voice and be drawn to it. And if you have a role for me to play in guiding her then help me to do it gently and quietly. But please don’t let me get in your way. I want to only be what you need her to have through me. Help me to do that.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Examen

15 Nov

Dear God, my wife and I were talking over breakfast, and as we finished she mentioned she was going to her study to do her “Examen” for the week. I’ve never done this before so I asked her to tell me about it. She told me the questions she asks herself as she reflects on her week. It sounded like a good exercise, so I decided to pray through the questions this morning. I found the following questions on a United Methodist Church website. I don’t think they are exactly the questions my wife is asking herself, but they seem like a good place to start.

  1. Are you aware of God in this moment?
  2. What are you grateful for right now?
  3. When did you experience love today?
  4. Was there an opportunity in which you missed sharing love with others?
  5. What might you learn from that? (Tell God about it.)

Am I aware of you in this moment?

That’s a good question. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. But it’s a reminder that I need to be. I need to be aware that the Holy Spirit is part of me, and he is praying with me right now. You are with me. You are real. You are interested in me. You have plans for me. You have desires for me and my life. You have things you both want me to have and don’t want me to have. You get frustrated with me when I am foolish, selfish, and sinful. You delight in the few times per day or week when I get it right. You delight in the fact that I’m trying. You get frustrated with my ingratitude. You want to give me rest, but you also want me to work harder.

And you are working in the lives of those I love most, the lives of those I care about around me, and even in my community and country. You are working in the world. You are working in the galaxy. You are working in the universe. Nothing is beyond you! You are so very big, and I am so very small. I love you.

What am I grateful for right now?

I’m sitting in a safe, comfortable house having just had a nice pancake/sausage breakfast. I so take these things for granted. I cannot seem to muster up gratitude for these things unless I explicitly sit down and think about it. I am grateful for the improvements at work. I am grateful for the amazing woman I’ve been with for over 36 years. I’m grateful for our health. I’m grateful for the children we have and the one we lost in pregnancy. My wife and I were talking about how she has experienced loss through death in a way that I haven’t. I’m grateful for the living. I’m grateful for your mercy. I’m grateful for answered prayers, both those you answer with a yes and those you answer with a no or not yet. I’m grateful for physical health and the ability to be active and exercise. I’ll cycle later this morning. I’m grateful I can do that. I’m grateful for the trip I’m about to take to Waco for a football game later today. What a little luxury in life that is afforded to me.

When did I experience love today?

Well, when I was sitting at the breakfast table and my wife walked in from having just walked the dog, she took a moment to pause and blow me a kiss from across the room while she put things away. Then she gave me a kiss when she was done. When she sat down to breakfast and I went to sit and join her while she ate, she laid down what she was looking at and welcomed my presence at the table. And we talked. She seemed to enjoy talking with me, and that made me feel loved. The day is young. I’m sure there will be more times today when I feel loved–especially by her. There are people who are precious to me who do not show me love. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. But I am grateful that this home is a place I like to be, and she makes it that way for me.

Was there an opportunity in which I missed sharing love with others?

The day is young, but I’ll say that there are two people I know who need expressions of love. One just lost a son and one is going through a significant health crisis. I meant to get by and buy a card for each of them this week, but I never did. I have to do this today! The cards must go in the mail today.

What might I learn from that?

Father, the truth is that I try to love others, but sometimes I allow things that are important to fall through the cracks. I miss opportunities to be your hands and feet in this world. I’m sorry for that. I like that you’re making me mindful of those two people specifically today, but there are others for whom I need to be praying. Relatives. People for whom relatives have asked me to pray. People I know who are suffering. Just everything, Father. There is an endless amount of need, and I can’t possibly cover it all or pray for it all, but if there is a line between what I can possibly do and what I can’t do, there is a lot of distance between me and it. So help me to get closer to that line. Help me to take all of the advantages you’ve given me and use them for your glory and to bless the people around me. Help me to see you in them and worship you as I love them.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 15, 2025 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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