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My Best Friend’s Anniversary

12 Aug

Dear God, I want to just talk a little with you today about what happened 31 years ago. My best friend from high school got married, and I was grateful to be selected as his best man. My wife and I had been married three years at that point, and we flew from our home in Dallas to Houston for the wedding. During the rehearsal dinner, my wife started having abdominal pain. I took her back to our hotel room after the dinner and then went out with the groom and some of his college friends and hung out until about 2:00 in the morning. When I got back to the room, my wife was still in a lot of pain, so I took her to a local Emergency Room. I can’t remember if it was while we were waiting to be taken back (which took a couple of hours) or while we were waiting for a room where she could be admitted (which took even more hours), at some point she told me that before we left Dallas she felt like you had told her, “Your pregnant. It’s a girl. It’s not going to work out.” As it turned out, she had an ectopic pregnancy and we were afraid she would have to lose one of her fallopian tubes. Of course, that would impact our ability to have children in the future. Our doctor was Iranian and it was difficult to understand him through his accent (and he didn’t have the warmest personality). My mother-in-law’s GYN consulted with us by phone and helped us in our decision making. My mother-in-law came from Austin. My parents were already in Houston for the wedding. Thankfully, later that night my mother was with my wife when she passed the pregnancy on her own. I left for a few hours during that Saturday to be part of the wedding, but I didn’t stick around for the reception. I just went back to the hospital as soon as I could.

I have a distinct memory of being on my knees at her bedside and praying to you. I was praying that I trusted you. My heart was broken. I was crying. But I told you that I believed and trusted in you so much that even if I was wrong and the path of following you led to hell then I would follow you to hell. The did surgery on her two days later to make sure everything was okay. She was able to not have anything removed, and we would end up getting pregnant with our son just two months later. One of the hardest parts was getting my wife home. I had to drive her to the airport with only a big t-shirt on and a stuffed dog I bought her at a local Toys R Us sitting in her lap. Every imperfection in the road hurt. I wheeled her through the airport, we boarded our Southwest flight, got back to Love Field in Dallas and then drove back to our third-floor apartment. It was quite the thing for a 24- (her) and 25-year old (me) to go through.

We named our unborn girl Sandra, and every year I remember August 12 as her “birthday,” or the day my wife passed her pregnancy on her own. I also remember my friends anniversary that same day. I always know how long they’ve been married too.

Father, I don’t know where Sandra is right now. I like to imagine her looking down on the parents who never met her, but whom she loves and cares about. As she looks at her two siblings, one of whom would not have been born if her pregnancy had made it, I like to think of her praying for them. That she loves them even though I don’t think they regard her existence as very real. But I do. I think she prays for my wife and me too. Especially our struggles and sorrows. I told my wife that I hope she’s proud of us as she watches to move through life. I hope she’s enjoying the love she feels from my wife’s parents who have already passed from this world into the next. From my grandparents. She’s part of our family. Our legacy. And I’ll get to meet her one day. One day, I will understand so much more than I understand now. Oh, what a joy that will be. So happy anniversary, 31st Johnny and Karen. Happy 31st birthday, Sandra. All of you have my love. Father, please bless Johnny and Karen with your presence in their lives and enjoy the worship and presence of my daughter.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman

25 Jul

“I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman

Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the sun does not appear
I, I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand, and have no fear
Cause I, I will be here

I will be here when you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen and
I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin’
Through the winning, losing and tryin’
We’ll be together ’cause I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up,
And the future is unclear
I, I will be here
As sure as seasons are made for change,
Our lifetime’s are made for years
So, I, I will be here

I will be here and you can cry on my shoulder,
When the mirror tells us we’re older,
I will hold you and
I will be here to watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

I, I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetime’s are made for years
So, I I will be here we’ll be together

I will be here

Dear God, my wife’s aunt sang this song at our wedding 34 years ago (today). It’s amazing how we can bravely, naively, and ignorantly make these promises. My wife and I were 21 and 22, respectively, when we made ours. Pretty young. Pretty naive. Pretty ignorant. Life would have challenges for us. And we’ve made it this far. I’m grateful we are still happy together. I’m grateful we still love and enjoy each other. I know many don’t. In mathematical terms, our relationship has not been the solid positive slope we anticipated. It’s been a sine wave with a positive trend: an oscillating wave. There have been many times when we’ve take two steps back to only get one step foward. But there have been other times when we’ve take five steps forward and only lost one step backward. My point is, it’s been harder to keep the promises of this song than we thought it would be, but because we have kept the promises we still have each other.

I don’t think I’ve made this link between the parable of the sower I read yesterday and the life of a marriage, but I suspect it might be as true for relationships as it is for individual lives.

  • The seed that falls on the path is the encouter between two people that just doesn’t work from the start.
  • The seed that falls in the rocks is the encounter that leads to a short-term relationship, but roots never grow, and they end up flaming out when things get uncomfortable.
  • The seed that falls in the thorns is the encounter that leads to real relationship, but we allow our hearts to get distracted by the pursuit of money and the cares of this world.
  • The seed that falls on the good soil is the relationship that works to till its soil. It works to love selflessly. It works to serve. It ignores the idols of even the relationship itself and gets each person to selflessly given themselves to you and to the other.

I want to be careful to say I don’t think there is a magic potion that will give someone a completely happy marriage. There is no solid “if/then” statement. “IF I do this, THEN this will definitely happen.” No, things can still go very wrong. The loss of a child is one. Sickness. Mental illness. The wheels can completely come off, and we might not end up living the life we want to live.

So back to the promises of this song. Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife are still married, but I know they’ve encountered difficult times. He’s talked about them. The most outwardly known one is when one of their young children died through an accident at home. They hadn’t taken that into account when they made their promises. I have a long list of things I didn’t take into account when I made my promises to my wife. But here we are, living up to the promises.

Father, help me to be here for my wife regardless of what it costs me. She’s your daughter. I’m your son-in-law. You have given her to me in marriage. Regardless of what it costs me, I am responsible for loving her the way you want me to love her. “I will be true to the promise I have made to [her] and to [You] who gave [her] to me.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Divorce

12 Jun

Dear God, earlier this week, for whatever reason–I’ll credit it to the Holy Spirit–I started thinking about some old Gary Chapman songs from the 90s. I was really involved in the Christian music industry back then from the sales side so I know some of the artists from that time period that a lot of people wouldn’t remember. I guess it started Monday evening before I went to teach the Bible study for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class. I like to sing a song to put me in the right frame of mind after a busy day at work, and, this last Monday, “Sweet Jesus” is what popped in there and I was singing as I drove to the meeting. Later, I just started listening to the Gary Chapman songs on my phone. I probably have about ten of them. Then yesterday.

I was talking with a friend who is desperately unhappy in their marriage. It was hard to hear. I know if this friend had no financial barriers they’d have probably left the marriage a long time ago. But there are financial barriers. Seemingly significant ones. So we had this difficult talk yesterday. Difficult in that it was hard to hear that much pain from them and know who to be for them. Who YOU needed me to be for them. And who you need me to be for their spouse, whom I love very much as well. And their children, whom I know well and love. Oh, Holy Spirit, what am I to say?

Then last night I had some Gary Chapman music playing, and I decided to see what he is up to now. I got on YouTube and found an interview he did a couple of years ago. He talked about his divorce from Amy Grant back in the late 90s. He talked about his mistakes. He talked about forgiving Amy and her husband Vince Gill. He’s not perfect. He didn’t pretend to be. And Amy and Vince aren’t perfect. I’m sure they don’t pretend to be either. It was just an unfortunate situation that developed into a mess because flawed humans were involved. Maybe it was a mess from the beginning.

So this morning, divorce is heavy on my heart. Not for myself, but for my friend. For my friend’s spouse. For my friend’s children. Now that I think about it, this week actually started on Sunday with the fallout from a divorce of another friend. My wife and I got a text from this friend as they lit up their former spouse and the friend told us they didn’t know how we could be friends with both of them given how evil their ex is. So much pain. So much anger. So much hatred. And Satan delights…

I guess that takes me back to Satan’s Plan A: Division. He wants to divide us as families, churches, businesses, communities, states, nations, and the world. And we just jump into his plan with both feet. There’s just that little thing in us that wants to be God. That wants to be worshipped. That wants it all to go our way, and when there are competing gods there will be conflict. Just look at the Greek myths. I don’t know the stories well, but I don’t think they ever got along.

Father, going back to my original friend from yesterday, I pray that their journey from this day forward will start with you. I pray that unity with you will be their Plan A. They will not find peace, even in divorce, without unity with you. In fact, divorce is really nothing but a source of great pain. And right now they are not only living their lives, but setting an example for their children. So I pray for both of the people in this marriage to completely unite with you. To set their faces to the wind and embrace you. To pursue you. To love you. Of course, I pray that you will then work in their hearts to encourage repentance on both parts and forgiveness, but that won’t come until they are united with you. I just don’t see how it can happen if you aren’t Plan A. Help me to know how to love both of them. Help me to know how to love this friend who is mad at me for continuing to love their ex spouse. And while I’m praying, help me to love you better and my wife better. Help me to be as the title of a Gary Chapman song says, “A Man After Your Own Heart.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2026 in Musings and Stories

 

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Fences and Walls – Malcolm Foley, Sharon Hodde Miller, and Mike Strehlow

07 Jun

Dear God, this whole podcast yesterday was about the value of struggling. Choosing the harder, slower path because it can be of value. They talked about AI’s efforts to remove struggling in our lives. They also talked about relationships and how there is a tendency today to put up walls instead of boundaries. In this segment starting at about the 45-minute mark, they talked about the difference between a picket fence and a wall. A picket fence is used to set a boundary and keep in/out small animals (cats excluded, I assume since they can get over most fences easily) and children but still allows interactions between adults and walls which set a boundary but also knock out relationship.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother recently. I told her that, in my mind, government has worked best when different views have to work together and compromise. If one party had complete control of the House of Representatives (all 435 seats), the Senate (all 100 seats), the Supreme Court (all 9 seats), and the Presidency (1 seat), it would be a disaster, but that seems to be our goal. That’s what gerrymandering is all about. How can my party get more control so we can get our way without effort or compromise? How can I make life easier for me with more power? Even if I were a Republican, I shouldn’t want all 535 seats of Congress, all 9 Supreme Court seats, and the White House. Same is true if I were a Democrat. The result would be horrible.

In the context of the video segment I linked above, if I were only in relationship with like-minded people then it would be bad for me. I need the iron of others to rub up against me and sharpen my iron. I need smart people who disagree with me. I need to learn to compromise because–guess what–I’m not always right! No one is. We all need to be corrected.

One thing about the younger generation now is that more and more of them struggle to know how to interact with other people in person. A friend and I were talking yesterday about how waiting tables earlier in our lives taught us so much. Multitasking. Dealing with difficult people. Self-confidence. Sales. It was hard work, but we were better for it.

Father, help me to embrace the difficulty of interpersonal relationships, including those with family who are difficult. Yes, it would be easier to put up a wall. It would be a path of less resistance if I just leave behind those who bother me, annoy me, or challenge me for a path where there is no challenge, but I would be missing something huge. I’d be missing the opportunity to learn from them, and I might miss the opportunity to impart you to them. You make me better. My wife makes me better. My friends and coworkers make me better. My family makes me better. One of the great things about community is how it forces me to get out of myself and be a little more humble. Help me to be that humble.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“The Parting Glass” by Ian Fowden

16 May

“Parting Glass”

Of all the money ere I had, I spent it in good company,
And all the harm I’ve ever done, alas was to none but me.
And all I’ve done for want of wit, to memory now I can’t recall.
So fill me to the parting glass, goodnight and joy be with you all.

If I had money enough to spend and leisure time to sit awhile,
There is a fair maid in this town who sorely has my heart beguiled.
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips, I own she has my heart in thrall.
So fill me to the parting glass – goodnight, and joy be with you all.

Of all the comrades ere I had, they’re sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts ere I had , they wish me one more day to stay,
But since it falls unto my lot that I should go and you should not,
I’ll gently rise and softly call, goodnight and joy be with you all.

Scottish Traditional Ballad, curated in 1770, but older in origin

Dear God, human sentimentality is a curious but beautiful thing. I came across this video from nine years ago this afternoon. It’s my wife’s cousin paying tribute to his father on the day of his funeral. Humans are just capable of so much love and appreciation for each other. It must be just a taste of what you have for us. It’s a part of us that is like your image, but we are a mere reflection–an often poor reflection–of how you feel.

What is it that steals this love and affection we have for each other? It’s often self-pity, I suppose. A feeling that our rights were somehow violated. I think about the people in my life who refuse to show me mercy, and I think that would be part of their story towards me. They feel that I somehow violated their rights and wronged them, and to some extent I did. There’s frankly really nothing I can do about those mistakes I made. It’s sad to me that those mistakes have nullfied the good I did. In retrospect, I even question if they can articulate the mistakes I made. What exactly is it they are angry about? Yet, they feel wronged. Their rights were violated. Pity should be extended to them and vengeance against me is theirs. No mercy. No, not any.

But this song and the spirit that drove it’s writing hundreds of years ago, is just great because it shows an appreciation of life. Of the lives of others and of one’s own life. And we only get so much time in this phase of life. I am pryerful that those who resent me will be able to be with me for eternity, and all of this pain in this life won’t matter anymore.

Father, I’m reminded of a line from Rich Mullins’s “Land of My Sojourn” that says, “Nobody tells you when you get born here how much you’ll come to love it and how you’ll never belong here. So I’ll call you my country, but I’ll be lonely for my home. I wish that I could take you there with me.” While I live between the now and the not yet, help me to find peace and live in the richness of the love and sentimentality that you put into me. And help me to find the mercy you have for me to give to anyone against whom I’m still holding a grudge.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Two Sets of Joneses” by Big Tent Revival

25 Apr

“Two Sets of Joneses” by Big Tent Revival

Well, this here’s a song about two sets of Jones’
Rothchild, Evelyn, Reuben and Sue
Just for discussion, through random selection
We’ve chosen two couples who haven’t a clue
Rothchild was lucky to marry so wealthy
Evelyn bought him a house on the beach
Reuben and Sue, they had nothing but Jesus
And at night they would pray that He’d care for them each

And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
And one set of Jones’ was standing that day

Evelyn’s daddy was proud of young Rothchild
He worked the late hours to be number one
Just newlyweds and their marriage got rocky
He’s flying to Dallas, she’s having a son
Reuben was holding a Gideon’s Bible
And he screamed, “It’s a boy!” so that everyone heard
And the guys at the factory took a collection
Again, God provided for bills he’d incurred

And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
And one set of Jones’ was standing that day

So, what is the point of this story?
What am I trying to say?
Well, is your life built on the rock of Christ Jesus?
Or a sandy foundation you’ve managed to lay?
Well, needless to say, Evelyn left her husband
And sued him for every penny he had
And I truly wish those two would find Jesus
Before things get worse than they already have

And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
And one set of Jones’ was standing that day
And the rain came down
And it blew the four walls down
And the clouds, they rolled away
There’s two sets of Jones’
Which ones will you be?

Dear God, I was listening to a playlist yesterday of 90s Christian music and this song came up. It brought back memories of 1995 (the year the song came out). My wife and I were living for a year in Dallas, and I worked for a Christian music publisher. I actually helped sell this album through a technologically-obsolete marketing stream called the “record club.” On Saturday mornings, a TV station on cable would play Christian music videos, and I remember seeing this video and liking it. I also remember feelings of arrogance, now that I think back on it. Kind of a, “Yeah, my wife and I are doing this right so we will have the good marriage. We love Jesus.”

Thirty-four years of marriage, 30 years of parenting, and decades of watching others succeed and struggle (sometimes both) changed my view of this song and the arrogance I had. As I sat down this morning and started praying about this, it made me wonder how the members of Big Tent Revival have done over the years and how they would reflect on this song now. Over the last 30 years, I’ve come to see messages like this song as a type of “prosperity gospel.” Someone is offering me checkboxes to get what I want. If I will be humble, worship you, and foresake earthly pursuits then I’ll have that marriage and family that I want. But I’ve come to learn through experience that that’s not how life works. Yes, you provide a bedrock of love and guidance for me, but a marriage can still fall apart even when both people are following you. I know a couple who lost a son to suicide three years ago. The husband is a pastor. She filed for divorce recently.

With the struggles I’ve been through, I used to complain that I was disappointed with you. How could you let these things happen? I knew life would still throw me curveballs, but you were supposed to be teaching me how to hit them, right? But that’s not how it works. Life happens. You just say, “Come to me. I will give you rest.”

Father, don’t get me wrong. I think the life spent worshipping you, repenting before you, and loving others will exhibit fruit that I want, but it will be fruit that grows out of me, not fruit that I consume from others. Life is going to do what life is going to do. There are good people dying in Ukraine, Iran, Israel, Lebanon, Russia, etc. They don’t have much control over it. Life is happening to them. I thank you for the patience you’ve had with me over the last 30 years. I’m not the man I was in 1995. Honestly, I don’t know how much I like that version of me. I mean, I was alright for a 25-year-old, but I was so much more dogmatic than I am now. Some people would call that “woke.” I call it humble. So I sit here this morning and humbly ask that you be my God and help me to move through this day, offering you to everyone I see.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“Banks” by NEEDTOBREATHE

24 Mar

“Banks” by NEEDTOBREATHE

I wanna be there when the voices in your head
Are loud enough to make you lose your mind
Just the same when you’re dominating the day
I wanna be the one who’s by your side

You know my love is not the jealous type
It doesn’t matter if we win or lose
I could stay or I could come
No matter where you’re coming from
I could be the one to let you choose

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

You are beautiful and wild at every turn
Who am I to take control of that?
Everybody needs a voice they can follow
When the water and the winds get bad

You know my love is not the jealous type
And it don’t matter if we win or lose
I could push or I could pull
No matter what you’re trying to do
As long as I can flow along with you

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

I’ll be the banks for your river

Baby, I ain’t saying that you need my help
But you don’t have to do it all by yourself
So, baby, when the current gets strong
You need somewhere to rest your bones
I wanna be there for you
I wanna be strong for you, oh, oh, oh

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
Just like the banks to the river
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
I’m gonna break all your mirrors
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
(I’ll be the banks for your river)
And if you ever feel like you are not enough
(I’ll be the banks for your river)
I wanna be there when the darkness closes in
To make the truth a little clearer
I wanna hold you close, but never hold you back
I’ll be the banks for your river

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Nathaniel Rinehart / William Rinehart / Trent Dabbs

Dear God, I remember back when my wife and I got married there was a Steven Curtis Chapman song called “Go There With You.” The big wedding song from him at the time was “I Will Be Here,” and we even had that sung at our wedding, but the one I liked more was “Go There With You.” The tune was a little more…I don’t know…soaring. And I loved it because it talked about caring for my wife no matter what. Being there for her. Being not only a man for her, but being your man for her. Your husband for her.

I came across this song a few days ago, and I liked it. It gives me that same vibe. It says a lot of what I feel for my wife. I want to be what you need me to be for her to completely live out the life you have for her to live. To knock over all of the dominoes you have for her to knock over. I want to do everything I can to be her enabler in serving you with joy and gusto. And it can be awkward because you’ve given me dominoes to knock over with my life too. You want me to have an impact on the world around me. But I guess I hope I live out the idea that my highest and first calling is to make sure she is living out her calling in you.

Father, I know I fail in this. Sometimes I fail her and I fail you. I’ve certainly failed our children in the past. I wish I hadn’t, but I have. But I ask that you please give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Help me to see for my wife what you see and where you want her to go. Give her good counsel through me and through her friends. Help her to hear your voice and be drawn to it. And if you have a role for me to play in guiding her then help me to do it gently and quietly. But please don’t let me get in your way. I want to only be what you need her to have through me. Help me to do that.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2026 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Examen

15 Nov

Dear God, my wife and I were talking over breakfast, and as we finished she mentioned she was going to her study to do her “Examen” for the week. I’ve never done this before so I asked her to tell me about it. She told me the questions she asks herself as she reflects on her week. It sounded like a good exercise, so I decided to pray through the questions this morning. I found the following questions on a United Methodist Church website. I don’t think they are exactly the questions my wife is asking herself, but they seem like a good place to start.

  1. Are you aware of God in this moment?
  2. What are you grateful for right now?
  3. When did you experience love today?
  4. Was there an opportunity in which you missed sharing love with others?
  5. What might you learn from that? (Tell God about it.)

Am I aware of you in this moment?

That’s a good question. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. But it’s a reminder that I need to be. I need to be aware that the Holy Spirit is part of me, and he is praying with me right now. You are with me. You are real. You are interested in me. You have plans for me. You have desires for me and my life. You have things you both want me to have and don’t want me to have. You get frustrated with me when I am foolish, selfish, and sinful. You delight in the few times per day or week when I get it right. You delight in the fact that I’m trying. You get frustrated with my ingratitude. You want to give me rest, but you also want me to work harder.

And you are working in the lives of those I love most, the lives of those I care about around me, and even in my community and country. You are working in the world. You are working in the galaxy. You are working in the universe. Nothing is beyond you! You are so very big, and I am so very small. I love you.

What am I grateful for right now?

I’m sitting in a safe, comfortable house having just had a nice pancake/sausage breakfast. I so take these things for granted. I cannot seem to muster up gratitude for these things unless I explicitly sit down and think about it. I am grateful for the improvements at work. I am grateful for the amazing woman I’ve been with for over 36 years. I’m grateful for our health. I’m grateful for the children we have and the one we lost in pregnancy. My wife and I were talking about how she has experienced loss through death in a way that I haven’t. I’m grateful for the living. I’m grateful for your mercy. I’m grateful for answered prayers, both those you answer with a yes and those you answer with a no or not yet. I’m grateful for physical health and the ability to be active and exercise. I’ll cycle later this morning. I’m grateful I can do that. I’m grateful for the trip I’m about to take to Waco for a football game later today. What a little luxury in life that is afforded to me.

When did I experience love today?

Well, when I was sitting at the breakfast table and my wife walked in from having just walked the dog, she took a moment to pause and blow me a kiss from across the room while she put things away. Then she gave me a kiss when she was done. When she sat down to breakfast and I went to sit and join her while she ate, she laid down what she was looking at and welcomed my presence at the table. And we talked. She seemed to enjoy talking with me, and that made me feel loved. The day is young. I’m sure there will be more times today when I feel loved–especially by her. There are people who are precious to me who do not show me love. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. But I am grateful that this home is a place I like to be, and she makes it that way for me.

Was there an opportunity in which I missed sharing love with others?

The day is young, but I’ll say that there are two people I know who need expressions of love. One just lost a son and one is going through a significant health crisis. I meant to get by and buy a card for each of them this week, but I never did. I have to do this today! The cards must go in the mail today.

What might I learn from that?

Father, the truth is that I try to love others, but sometimes I allow things that are important to fall through the cracks. I miss opportunities to be your hands and feet in this world. I’m sorry for that. I like that you’re making me mindful of those two people specifically today, but there are others for whom I need to be praying. Relatives. People for whom relatives have asked me to pray. People I know who are suffering. Just everything, Father. There is an endless amount of need, and I can’t possibly cover it all or pray for it all, but if there is a line between what I can possibly do and what I can’t do, there is a lot of distance between me and it. So help me to get closer to that line. Help me to take all of the advantages you’ve given me and use them for your glory and to bless the people around me. Help me to see you in them and worship you as I love them.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 15, 2025 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Luke 11:42-46

15 Oct

42 “What sorrow awaits you Pharisees! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore justice and the love of God. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things.

43 “What sorrow awaits you Pharisees! For you love to sit in the seats of honor in the synagogues and receive respectful greetings as you walk in the marketplaces. 44 Yes, what sorrow awaits you! For you are like hidden graves in a field. People walk over them without knowing the corruption they are stepping on.”

45 “Teacher,” said an expert in religious law, “you have insulted us, too, in what you just said.”

46 “Yes,” said Jesus, “what sorrow also awaits you experts in religious law! For you crush people with unbearable religious demands, and you never lift a finger to ease the burden.

Luke 11:42-46

Dear God, I’ve had a frustration rolling around in my head over the last 12 or so hours that my first temptation is to take these verses and apply them to the people who are frustrating me, making them the Pharisees and experts in the law and me, well…, Jesus. Okay, even on the face of it, that is absurd. But one thing you’ve taught me to do when I read a biblical story that includes clear delineations between good people and bad people is that I need to first consider that I might be the bad guy in the story. How am I like the Pharisee or expert in the law? Does Jesus have an admonition and correction for me in his words here?

So let me start with the idea that I might be missing the important things. Are there important things I’m missing? And how do we define important? I might tend to think of great political policies as important. I might even think of programs in our city that could help the poor. That could be important (and I think on Jesus’s “important scale” that might be closer to important than the political policy issues). But maybe the most important is the person right in front of me and their need. Am I missing them.

Here’s an example that you just brought to mind. There was an elderly woman in our clinic yesterday. She was there for a dental appointment. She was frustrated that she paid $30 for her first visit in over a year, which by policy was an exam and x-ray only when it’s been that long since a visit, and now she was having to pay another $30 for a separate visit, which was a cleaning. She mentioned that she only had $37 left in her account. We told her she could owe us for the cleaning, but she was still upset she was being charged at all and clearly frustrated. I felt badly for her, but I let her go on her way. I was a little annoyed at how abrupt she was with the staff so my compassion meter got turned down a bit. Now, as I sit here, I’m wondering whether we missed an opportunity to help her. Should we have taken a beat to talk to her about her financial issues and talk with her about resources in the community available to her–utility assistance, food, financial counselors, etc.? Did I miss what’s important?

Father, I am sorry for missing that opportunity yesterday along with so many others. Help me to have real eyes to see and ears to hear what is important. Help me to love. Help me to also re-think our policy and question how we charge patients for their appointments. And find this woman today. Meet her where she is. Help her. I think of the widow and her mite. If this woman is another version of her, help us to be part of your blessing to her.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 15, 2025 in Luke

 

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Motivation

10 Oct

Dear God, I’m helping teach a class for Christian Men’s Life Skills (CMLS) next week on Motivation. These men have done something to get sideways with the law and now have community service hours to fulfill. They chose to fill some of them by taking this class. And it’s a commitment: 3 hours a night, 3 nights a week, for 10 weeks. 90 hours. Some of them are driving a long way to take it.

Maybe that’s where I start. Maybe that’s how I enter into this with them. I’m teaching with another man who’s taught this class nearly 50 times so he has refined his material over and over again. He knows it very well. And it’s tried and true. But for my part, while I’m using his materials as the skeleton of what I’m going to say, I need to find my own flesh to put on the bones. I need to hear from you, Holy Spirit, what you want them to hear. What you need them to hear. What seeds you have for me to plant.

So I guess the first message for them is that they have already exhibited great motivation by choosing this intense commitment. I just got this idea while I was typing the first paragraph. Was it from you? I hope so.

  • What motivated them to be here tonight?
    • How people get accurate surveys. If you want good results you figure out a way to get answers from as many people across a spectrum as possible. Social class. Race. Geography. Gender. Age. Sexual orientation. For example, if I only survey people by calling landlines, how might I skew my results? For the most part, the people who still have landlines are older so I won’t hear from younger people, poor people, and likely people of color. For the most part, my survey will skew old, white, and middle class or higher.
    • Lies, darn lies, and statistics. When they were explaining to me that CMLS has a very low recidivism rate (I think they said 13%), I thought, “Wow, they must do some great teaching.” But after I got involved I realized the results are skewed like a bad survey. But this is an impressive skewing. One of the things that drives their results is the commitment the men are making to be there. Three nights a week for 10 weeks. If you’re going to commit to that much time over that short of a period you are already saying something about yourself. You want to change. You want to get better. They all have a choice to be here or not be here tonight. They chose to be here.
    • So back to motivation, what motivated them to be here? What’s driving their participation? They set out every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday from September 15-November 20 to attend the class. They deny themselves. Maybe it’s to stay out of jail, but there are other ways to do their community service. But even the motivation to stay out of jail is a choice. Some people who aren’t motivated will just accept jail rather than climb the hill the judge has put in front of them. So why are they here? The answers will be different for everyone:
      • Be a better man for their wife and/or children.
      • Be a better man for their parents.
      • Tired of running and kicking against the goads (Acts 26:13-14)
        • Their lifestyle is not getting them what they want so they are ready to explore a new path, and we, as instructors, are here to give them that path and introduce them to who God really is and how he is there for them as much as he is for us.
      • So why does CMLS have such a high success rate? I’d like to think it’s because of the amazing teachers, but ultimately it’s because they skew the results because we don’t have a random sampling of people who get assigned community service hours by the courts. We have a skewed sample of men who are motivated to do something about their lives.

This is where I will pick up and get into Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and go with the slides from there.

Father, this really helped me, and I love the Acts 26:13-14 reference. Paul explaining his conversion experience said this to King Agrippa:

13 “About noon, King Agrippa, as I was on the road, I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, blazing around me and my companions. 14 We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’

15 “Then I asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’

“ ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,’ the Lord replied.”

You were telling Paul, “I’m trying to tell you and teach you about me, and all you keep doing is persecuting the messengers. I’m trying to steer you in the right direction with a goad and you are fighting it? Aren’t you tired of fighting me? I have something for you that’s so much better than what you’re living now.”

Father, as I get into later slides, I think I’m going to try to address my motivation for being there. My co-teacher’s/mentor’s motivation for being there. I’m there because you’ve taught me my ultimate purpose in life, ultimate fulfillment, comes from simply following the two great commandments. And you didn’t do these two great commandments for you. You didn’t tell me to love you with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength for your ego. Because you needed that from me. No, you did it because you know I need you and the closer I get to you the happier I am. And then you said the second greatest is like the first one, but then you turned it out to other people. Love my neighbor as myself. My life is best when I’m giving it away. When I’m loving. When I’m caring. When I’m sacrificing. So on Maslow’s scale of five: 1.) Basic Needs, 2.) Security, 3.) Social Needs, 4.) Self-Worth Needs, and 5.) Self-Actualization, all of the other teachers and I, including the alumni that show up to support are addressing levels 4 and 5. I am finding my joy and peace through serving these men and being your messenger to them. Oh, how I praise you for this. Thank you, Father. Thank you for loving me, calling me, teaching me (continually), and sending me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2025 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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