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Category Archives: Musings and Stories

Numinous Moment(s)

23 Jun

Dear God, I heard a term this weekend listening to an interview a Catholic priest did with David Brooks: Numinous Moment. Mr. Brooks was describing a time when he felt a sense of your supernatural presence and could see, just a little, with your eyes. It made me stop and wonder about my own numinous moment(s). Have I had any? Are there places in my life when the veil between you and me got just a little thinner?

I know I’ve had times like this, but the one that seeminly hit me out of the blue with no explanation was when I was about 15 years old. I was home alone on a Saturday night and, I have no idea what inspired be to do this outside of the Holy Spirit coaxing me, I decided to just start reading the Bible. I opened to 1 Samuel (again, I can’t explain why) and started reading it like it was a novel. I think I got all of the way through 1 Samuel and was at least part of the way through 2 Samuel when I was just overcome by worship for you. I found myself running around the living room, shouting praise to you. I was Baptist at the time, and I had been “saved” for several years. And I can’t say that there were any long-lasting effects from this moment except the memory that I carry with me to this day. It wasn’t until two years later after an FCA Leadership Conference in Abilene that I really became a discipling Christian. But that moment. That evening. sometime in the fall of ’85 or the spring of ’86, I was all in on you. I could almost see you. And it was just from reading some stories from the Bible.

To this day, I have a special place in my heart for 1 and 2 Samuel. They are two of my favorite books. I try to get people to read them like a novel because that’s how I read them on that evening. Almost none of them do. I’m teaching a Bible study for some men right now, and I started with 1 Samuel 8, and next week I’ll finish the series by doing the first few chapters of 2 Samuel. We finiahed 1 Samuel last night.

One thing that Fr. Martin and Mr. Brooks talked about was how some people have numinous moments and then still decide to reject you. They mentioned a specific example of a woman that I can’t now remember her name. I guess that was kind of me back then. I was certainly sensitive to you. I was sensitive to my need for grace and mercy. I just had zero idea how to put discipleship into action until I went to that FCA Leadership Conference.

Father, I pray that you will help me to see the moments today when the veil between you and me might be a little thinner. I pray for those moments for my family and friends. I pray for them for my coworkers and our volunteers and patients. Give me eyes to see and ears and a heart to hear.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 23, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Ezekiel, the Old West Preacher

17 Jun

Dear God, my wife does a Substack called Poetry for Life. Today, she did a post about Ezekiel as a character in Lonesome Dove. I was struck by the poem she has in it so I thought I’d spend some time with it this morning. It also helps me feel closer to her since she’s out of town right now.

Here is what she wrote. Both the introduction and the poem:

You know what Lonesome Dove needs? A priest. And not just any ol’ reverend. It needs an Ezekiel. Someone who’s lost everything — homeland, vocation, wife — and still serves.

A man of vision. Even if it’s a “hell of a vision.”

A man who could do a funeral for an enemy as easily as for a friend, even when those two people are the same person.

A man to bury the dead and who would know what to say over a dead horse.

A man who’d hold out impossible hope for a wedding.

A man who’d always tells the truth but tell it slant, often with performance art.

A man who cries beside water.

A man who appreciates sky and fire.

A man who can take direction.

A man who prophecies to mountains.

A man who knows how to pack.

A man who can share allegories with Gus, out-silence Call.

A man who can write a lament and sing it as a lullaby.

A man comfortable speaking with other nations.

A man who can eat anything, even his words.

A man who, no matter how far he travels across space and time, can recognize the presence of his God and declare, “The LORD is there.”

The pastor she describes in this poem would be an interesting character to get to know. I’m not sure if they would be a “good hang” or not. I’m having dinner with a pastor friend tonight. He has terrific qualities and a great temperament. He’s one of my closest friends. And he has some of these qualities, but not all.

I wonder if I should have more of these qualities in me. There is something about the man she describes that is very attractive to me. A good ol’ boy who loves and worships you, but who can be comfortablewith anyone.

Father, I’m not sure I’m going anywhere with this. Frankly, I’m kind of lamenting this morning. ICE was in our community yesterday, and I know of families who were directly impacted by this change in policy. Help me mto be like this fictionalized modern version of the real Ezekiel. Help me to know truth . Help me to speak truth. Help me to be what you need me to be in the small world in which I live.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Divorce

12 Jun

Dear God, earlier this week, for whatever reason–I’ll credit it to the Holy Spirit–I started thinking about some old Gary Chapman songs from the 90s. I was really involved in the Christian music industry back then from the sales side so I know some of the artists from that time period that a lot of people wouldn’t remember. I guess it started Monday evening before I went to teach the Bible study for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class. I like to sing a song to put me in the right frame of mind after a busy day at work, and, this last Monday, “Sweet Jesus” is what popped in there and I was singing as I drove to the meeting. Later, I just started listening to the Gary Chapman songs on my phone. I probably have about ten of them. Then yesterday.

I was talking with a friend who is desperately unhappy in their marriage. It was hard to hear. I know if this friend had no financial barriers they’d have probably left the marriage a long time ago. But there are financial barriers. Seemingly significant ones. So we had this difficult talk yesterday. Difficult in that it was hard to hear that much pain from them and know who to be for them. Who YOU needed me to be for them. And who you need me to be for their spouse, whom I love very much as well. And their children, whom I know well and love. Oh, Holy Spirit, what am I to say?

Then last night I had some Gary Chapman music playing, and I decided to see what he is up to now. I got on YouTube and found an interview he did a couple of years ago. He talked about his divorce from Amy Grant back in the late 90s. He talked about his mistakes. He talked about forgiving Amy and her husband Vince Gill. He’s not perfect. He didn’t pretend to be. And Amy and Vince aren’t perfect. I’m sure they don’t pretend to be either. It was just an unfortunate situation that developed into a mess because flawed humans were involved. Maybe it was a mess from the beginning.

So this morning, divorce is heavy on my heart. Not for myself, but for my friend. For my friend’s spouse. For my friend’s children. Now that I think about it, this week actually started on Sunday with the fallout from a divorce of another friend. My wife and I got a text from this friend as they lit up their former spouse and the friend told us they didn’t know how we could be friends with both of them given how evil their ex is. So much pain. So much anger. So much hatred. And Satan delights…

I guess that takes me back to Satan’s Plan A: Division. He wants to divide us as families, churches, businesses, communities, states, nations, and the world. And we just jump into his plan with both feet. There’s just that little thing in us that wants to be God. That wants to be worshipped. That wants it all to go our way, and when there are competing gods there will be conflict. Just look at the Greek myths. I don’t know the stories well, but I don’t think they ever got along.

Father, going back to my original friend from yesterday, I pray that their journey from this day forward will start with you. I pray that unity with you will be their Plan A. They will not find peace, even in divorce, without unity with you. In fact, divorce is really nothing but a source of great pain. And right now they are not only living their lives, but setting an example for their children. So I pray for both of the people in this marriage to completely unite with you. To set their faces to the wind and embrace you. To pursue you. To love you. Of course, I pray that you will then work in their hearts to encourage repentance on both parts and forgiveness, but that won’t come until they are united with you. I just don’t see how it can happen if you aren’t Plan A. Help me to know how to love both of them. Help me to know how to love this friend who is mad at me for continuing to love their ex spouse. And while I’m praying, help me to love you better and my wife better. Help me to be as the title of a Gary Chapman song says, “A Man After Your Own Heart.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2026 in Musings and Stories

 

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Fences and Walls – Malcolm Foley, Sharon Hodde Miller, and Mike Strehlow

07 Jun

Dear God, this whole podcast yesterday was about the value of struggling. Choosing the harder, slower path because it can be of value. They talked about AI’s efforts to remove struggling in our lives. They also talked about relationships and how there is a tendency today to put up walls instead of boundaries. In this segment starting at about the 45-minute mark, they talked about the difference between a picket fence and a wall. A picket fence is used to set a boundary and keep in/out small animals (cats excluded, I assume since they can get over most fences easily) and children but still allows interactions between adults and walls which set a boundary but also knock out relationship.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother recently. I told her that, in my mind, government has worked best when different views have to work together and compromise. If one party had complete control of the House of Representatives (all 435 seats), the Senate (all 100 seats), the Supreme Court (all 9 seats), and the Presidency (1 seat), it would be a disaster, but that seems to be our goal. That’s what gerrymandering is all about. How can my party get more control so we can get our way without effort or compromise? How can I make life easier for me with more power? Even if I were a Republican, I shouldn’t want all 535 seats of Congress, all 9 Supreme Court seats, and the White House. Same is true if I were a Democrat. The result would be horrible.

In the context of the video segment I linked above, if I were only in relationship with like-minded people then it would be bad for me. I need the iron of others to rub up against me and sharpen my iron. I need smart people who disagree with me. I need to learn to compromise because–guess what–I’m not always right! No one is. We all need to be corrected.

One thing about the younger generation now is that more and more of them struggle to know how to interact with other people in person. A friend and I were talking yesterday about how waiting tables earlier in our lives taught us so much. Multitasking. Dealing with difficult people. Self-confidence. Sales. It was hard work, but we were better for it.

Father, help me to embrace the difficulty of interpersonal relationships, including those with family who are difficult. Yes, it would be easier to put up a wall. It would be a path of less resistance if I just leave behind those who bother me, annoy me, or challenge me for a path where there is no challenge, but I would be missing something huge. I’d be missing the opportunity to learn from them, and I might miss the opportunity to impart you to them. You make me better. My wife makes me better. My friends and coworkers make me better. My family makes me better. One of the great things about community is how it forces me to get out of myself and be a little more humble. Help me to be that humble.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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The Power of Secrets and Shame

03 May

8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

Genesis 3:8-10

Dear God, I read a long story this morning through Apple News from New York Magazine called “The Divorce Tapes: My family knew that my father had been tapping the phone lines. Only later would I discover the secrets the recordings contained.” It was a tough read, but it was important. Basically while it described an incredibly dysfunctional marriage, its main topic was the molestation of a child by an uncle that ended up being a family secret that destroyed lives. It was written by Beth Raymer, and in it she decribed what happened to her sister and the collateral damage for the sister and everyone else. It was heartbreaking and powerful.

Interestingly, but not surprisingly, the uncle had apparently been molested by a priest as a boy. Man hands on misery to man. I’m sure something had happened to that priest. And then the shame. The secrets. The lies. It’s all hard.

It made me think about Bible passages that touch on this kind of thing. The first thing I thought of was this passage when Adam and Eve were hiding from you in the Garden. They were ashamed and they were trying to keep from telling you the truth. They were trying to figure out how to lie. Whether one believes there was an actual Adam and Eve or that they are a representative of the first people, whoever wrote this was able to recognize proclivity all of us have to lie and hide things. To hide not only our mistakes, but hide even the things done to us.

In the case of the story Ms. Raymer tells, her sister did share what happened with Beth and their mother. Seemingly, nothing was ever done about it except that the mother discussed it with a couple of her own sisters. No police. No counseling. No processing. No release of guilt for the little girl. No clearing up of the confusion she felt. Just burying it, hoping it would go away.

Of course, it didn’t. It almost never does. I would say it never does, but there might be an exception out there (I doubt it). It’s manifested itself in the sister’s life through addictions and a difficult adult life. It broke my heart because I have relatives and friends whom I suspect have suffered similar experiences and are hiding it with everything they have. And I’ve seen the effects of it on their lives. I’ve tried to ask about it in some cases, but have been rebuffed. After I read the story this morning, I went for a bike ride, and I found myself praying for some of them.

Before I go, I guess I should mention another Bible story I thought about when it comes to this stuff:

5 Later, when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant, she sent David a message, saying, “I’m pregnant.” (2 Samuel 11:5)

How horrific for her. This was just the second step of her horror. The first being that David used her and sent her home with her guilt and shame. Later, she would have to face her husband and then know his murder was because of all of this. Finally, the child would die. And it was an open secret to everyone. How do I know it was open and known? Well, I know about it, don’t I? And I wasn’t even there. Nathan knew.

Father, as I sit here, my stomach is just in knots for those I love who have experienced this kind of assault. Oh, God, have mercy. If secrets are being kept, please let them come to light. Release those I love from their shame and pain. Whether they had something done to them, or they did something to someone else (or both). Heal, Father. Heal, Jesus. Heal, Holy Spirit. We need you. I need you to show me how to help and how to love.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 3, 2026 in 2 Samuel, Genesis, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Key Regrest and Observations from St. Faustina’s Vision

26 Apr

Key Regrets and Observations from St. Faustina’s Vision:

  • Wasted Time/Opportunities: Souls regret not capitalizing on daily, ordinary moments to serve God.
  • Delayed Mercy/Love: Regret for postponing acts of love or reconciliation.
  • Longing for God: The greatest suffering is a deep, agonizing longing for God.
  • The Power of Now: The deceased realize that the present moment is the time for earning merit, a power they no longer have.

Dear God, I was listening to a homily from Fr. Mike Schmitz this morning, and he referenced a vision St. Faustina had of talking to people who had died and were in Purgatory. Personally, I’m not a subscriber to the existence of Purgatory, but it really doesn’t matter what I think because I don’t think any of us can really understand what happens after death. So I’m not going to let that distract me from the wisdom in these words.

As Fr. Mike was going through these regrets this morning, the two that convicted me the most were the waste of time and not loving you more.

Regarding wasted time, I know I waste too much time. YouTube seems to be my vice of choice. I need to do something about that. Guide me, please.

Regarding loving you, well, how could it ever be enough? I kind of think of our relationship as it is with my wife. I’ve been in love with you long enough that the ooey gooey emotions are not constant (although they are definitely still there on a regular basis), but I try to get quality time with you regularly, like this, you are precious to me.

Father, I know I’ll have regrets. How can I not have them? I have them now, even with decisions I’ve made over the last couple of days. How could I not have them over the course of my life? But what can I say? Here I am now. Holy Spirit, guide me in each moment.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Troubled Times

24 Apr

“These are troubled times. The world is full of strife and heartache. Men and women everywhere seek peace of mind and heart, and wish desperately that they as individuals could do something toward lifting the heavy blanket of gloom and fear that opposes mankind.”

David Dunn in the introduction of Try Giving Yourself Away. Published in 1947

Dear God, there’s a little backstory as to how I started reading this book, but I’m on vacation, and I opened this book last night. It was gifted to my father in 1964, and he recently re-gifted it to me for my birthday with a lovely note telling me the story about how he came to get it and what it meant to him.

I was amused by the second paragraph of the introduction I quoted above. I thought, “Hold it! Wait! I thought 1947 was a time we were all trying to get back to. Wasn’t America great then? If we could get back there, isn’t that where my “happy heart” will be (I’m looking at you Madame Blueberry!)? I was so amused I sent it to 11 friends and family. My dad replied, “The way we won WWII with Hiroshima was a schizophrenic ‘Joy! We won!’ and ‘Doomsday!'” Hmm. Maybe 1947 wasn’t the peaceful nirvana I’ve been told it was. Maybe people in the moment weren’t looking around and saying, “This is the best!” Maybe they looked back at the 1920s, pre-Great Depression, and thought, “That’s when we were great!” And then the people in the 1920s looked back at 1900 and thought, “Things are so crazy and gluttonous now. Drinking is out of control. We need prohibition. If only we could get back to a time before the Great War. Times were simpler then.”

Of course, I’m saying all of this from the perspective of a white man in America. If I had been a person of color in any of those past times…well, let’s just say things weren’t that great back then.

So where does that leave me this morning? Still amused. Amused at our own foolishness. I referenced Madame Blueberry earlier. It’s a great little cartoon by VeggieTales that my wife and I still joke about nearly 30 years after its release. It has a character who is constantly looking for a “happy heart.” At one point, she goes to “Stuff-Mart” to see if she can buy a happy heart there. Where is a happy heart that will bring her the peace she’s looking for? Eventually, she learns from Junior Asparagus that “a thankful heart is a happy heart.” That’s largely true.

I think about Jesus’s parable of the sower often. The four different types of soil: the path, rocks, thorny, and good soil. The thorns are what I battle. Jesus describes the thorns as pursuit of wealth and the cares of this world. I don’t so much pursue wealth, but I don’t ignore it either. But I do allow the cares of this world–these troubled times–to affect me and bring me down. And they choke out your Holy Spirit in my life. In my heart. They choke out the fruit that the Spirit grows in me.

Father, Dunn says that the secret to happiness is giving yourself away. And I think he’s on the right track, to a certain extent. But from what I can tell three chapters in, he is thinking of giving myself away as a cause and not an effect. He thinks that I can just choose to give myself away. I would counter that the peace of giving myself away starts with the cause of worshipping you, putting my faith in you, and laying down my idols. What are some of my idols? A stable U.S. economy. A powerful U.S. military that will keep me “safe.” A corruption-free government. A government that is compassionate and kind–not cruel and mean. Children who live up to all my expectations. A wife who lives up to all my expectations. Enough money in my bank account. The ability to buy what I want whenever I want. You know, the stuff Jesus said was the thorns: the pursuit of wealth and the cares of this world. So help me to lay down all of those idols today. You are my one and only God. I will do my best to have no other gods before you. And I will try to love everyone around me as myself.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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The Seven Deadly Sins

14 Mar
  • Pride (Superbia): Excessive belief in one’s own abilities, often called the original sin.
  • Greed (Avaritia): Desire for material wealth or possessions, often called avarice.
  • Lust (Luxuria): Intense or uncontrolled sexual desire.
  • Envy (Invidia): Sadness at another’s good fortune or desire for their possessions.
  • Gluttony (Gula): Overindulgence or excessive consumption of food or drink.
  • Wrath (Ira): Uncontrolled feelings of anger, rage, or hatred.
  • Sloth (Acedia): Laziness, spiritual apathy, or failure to act.

Pope Gregory I

Dear God, my wife and I were just at a winery visiting about a book she’s been reading that was written in 1950 called The Feast by Margaret Kennedy. I might check it out. Apparently, it is a novel about seven people who died in an accident and each of them exemplifies one of the seven deadly sins as articulated by Pope Gregory in 590 AD. Frankly, I’ve never spent much time thinking about these seven sins as standing out as deadlier than the others. I wonder if he thought they encompass the other sins we commit much like Jesus thought the two great commandments encapsulated all of God’s other commandments.

Now I have to be careful because I’m getting a lot of this from Wikipedia’s entry for the seven deadly sins, but it was pretty interesting reading. Apparently, Pope Gregory listed them in order of importance from least to most. Interestingly, Lust was his least. Here is Gregory’s order:

  • Lust
  • Gluttony
  • Greed
  • Sloth
  • Wrath
  • Envy
  • Pride

And then Wikipedia quoted C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity regarding pride: “Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that Lucifer became wicked: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.” Interesting.

I guess the good news for me is that my temptations are lower in the order of importance with gluttony being probably my biggest struggle. But pride. Pride is interesting because I think it’s something we all struggle with at some point. I don’t want to be anti-God–anti-You. I want to be completely submitted to you, grateful to you, dependent upon you, and humble before you and other men. I want to be able to consider my life worth nothing to me. I told my wife at the winery that I get a lot of compliments from people through my work and during the week. It can be hard to know how to deal with them. Oh, how I want to just deflect all of the glory that people might want to see in me to you.

Father, I know I’m prone to wander, and it’s mostly my pride that makes me want to wander. I’m prone to leave you and take all the credit and glory for me. I want to be important. I want to be all in all. I confess it. That’s what I want. But I also know, thankfully, that all of that is a lie. I know that I am weak. I am fragile. I am human. I am nothing. I am your servant. Like Job, like Paul, and like anyone else, my life is to be submitted completely and totally to your will. So my I remember that without you having to take things away to remind me of it. I am submitted to you, and I love you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“…anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and addiction.”

09 Mar

Speaking of the Asbury “Revival” two years ago, university president Dr. Kevin Brown recalled what someone said about the Gen Z young adults coming for prayer:

“Just a very quick story along those lines. Again this is anecdotal, but there was a constant prayer ministry [during the “revival”]. Again, we have a beautiful altar at the front of our chapel, and there were always people praying. And there were some amazing men and women who created a really structured prayer ministry. There were always people at the altar praying with people there. And a guy who was a part of that during that time that if Gen Z comes, he said they’re really only praying one of four things: anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and addiction. And predominantly with addiction, pornography. And that college day of prayer final evening, I remember being in the balcony and someone gave what felt like a prophetic word over 1,500 students, where he just said, ‘You will not be the generation defined by anxiety, depression, suicide, and addiction.’ And I just remember this like, this swell. This kind of cry arise from all of these students. And that’s where that Wesley expression came out. Chains falling off. Like running to God. Running to something beyond themselves.

Dr. Kevin Brown from interview with Skye Jethani on the Holy Post “SkyePod” podcast – Looking back on the Asbury “Revival”

Dear God, how heartbreaking. I wonder how much of our youth and college ministers in churches are seeing this or willing to address this among their youth and young adults. I think probably what’s not talked about enough is how these concerns have crept into the older generations too. We might now have had them when we were in our teens and twenties 20, 30, 40, or even 50 years ago, but I think it’s safe to say it’s happening now. Is it all to be blamed on our phones? Is is all to be blamed on social media? Is it all to be blamed on Internet news? More likely, it’s a factor of all three combined to various degrees in a person’s life. But while some might get more of their access to negative content through social media, Internet news, or readily available pornography, I do think the common denominator is the handheld computer we’ve been able to carry around in our pockets for the last 20-25 years.

And I’m not immune to it. Even typing the quote this morning, I had my Bluetooth earbuds in while I quoted it from a podcast on my phone. And my phone is currently lying less than six inches from my left hand on the table where I’m typing this. It has certainly become a ubiquitous part of my life. Almost as prevalent on my person as clothing. It’s just so convenient. And entertaining. And stimulating. And relaxing. And while I would put myself in a healthier category for the types of content I access through it, I still dabble in news and some social media (I’m grateful to be free of pornography). But I know people who are trapped by news and social media, and I see it wearing on them. I see the anxiety. I see the depression.

Father, as I’ve taken today off, help me to see my phone for what it really is in my life. Show me how you see it. Convict me. Guide me. Help me to have eyes to see it and myself. Help me to have ears to hear exactly what the Holy Spirit wants to teach me. And then help me to sound the alarm for others–especially youth. I know all of these things are prevalent in our teens and young adults today. The irony of the people who have been so upset over the last few years over the “pornography in the libraries” is that they didn’t seemingly see it in the handheld computers nearly every teen and young adult carries in their pockets. These young adults at Asbury weren’t checking out pornographic books from this Methodist school’s library. They were accessing it on their phones. I guess I will close with the “prophetic word” Dr. Brown said was spoken over the prayer service: You will not be the generation defined by anxiety, depression, suicide, and addiction. Let that be true of all of us.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“EPiC” and “Steve!”

08 Mar

Dear God, I went to the movies yesterday and saw “EPiC,” which is a collection of backstage, rehearsal, interview, and concert footage of Elvis, mainly focused in the very late-sixties/early-seventies. It was well-done. The man’s talent and charisma were amazing. He seemed to be very likeable. But I left it so sad. I sarcastically joked later, “I should have gone into music to be famous instead of what I’m doing now.” That was sarcastic because there is no part of me that left that movie theater wishing I could have changed places with him. I actually found myself wishing my life on him. How much happier would he have been?

As I thought about it later, I remembered this documentary on Steve Martin that came out a year ago called “Steve!” It was another example of watching something that just didn’t leave me feeling like I would trade my life with his for anything. He seemed so empty, even now. Like he was chasing that everlasting joy and happiness rabbit that kept just escaping him around the corner.

I think a lot of Mr. Martin’s pain is more about parental rejection and difficulty while Mr. Presley’s seemed to be more about a deal he had made with the public to give everything he had in exchange for their adoration and money. Both lives just came across as very empty.

Of course, we don’t have to be famous to have empty lives. There’s a funny line in the movie “Groundhog Day” with Bill Murray where Bill Murray is living the same day over and over again, and he poses the question to two men, “What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same? And nothing that you did mattered?” One of the men (who is drunk) replies, “That about sums it up for me.” People are living empty lives all around me. And they might blame their marriage. They might blame their job. They might blame their kids or even the government. Maybe they even blame themselves.

The older I get the more I sink into the idea that when Jesus reiterated the great two commandments from you of us loving you with all we have and loving our neighbors as ourselves he meant it for our good, not yours. We were built to worship you and serve others. That’s where we find meaning. At least, that’s where I find meaning. And, on paper, my life might be incredibly insignificant in the whole scope of the world, but I sleep better at night when I know I’ve been able to get outside of myself, worship you, and love others.

Father, help me to carry reconciliation with you, worship of you, and then a path of working out our faith with fear and trembling with you to others. I’ve tried to offer a path of worshiping you to others lately, and I’ve been surprised how they’ve refused to do the work to take the path. The gate is truly narrow, and it’s frustrating for people no 1.) choose to get on it and walk it and 2.) blame other things for their lives not being what they want them to be. I have some friends right now who do walk the path, and the are simultaneously going through something very painful in their family. The path will be hard. The path will be painful. They will grow and be better at loving others because of the humility this path will bring them. But they will survive and grow on this path because they are walking the narrow part of it. If they were on the fringes and not walking through life with you then it might do them in. But that’s not going to be their story. So I ask that you please comfort and strengthen them. I ask that you would move and heal those they love. And I ask that you would give my wife and me eyes to see and ears to hear as we discern how you would have us love them through this.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 8, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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