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Category Archives: Musings and Stories

“When Death Comes” by Mary Oliver

09 Oct

Dear God, you know that I love the TV show Ted Lasso. I don’t know if you approve of me loving it so much, but I think you do. It’s quite remarkable. I still stick to my thinking that Ted is unique because, while professing no faith or discipleship in you, he exhibits the fruits of your Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And that fruit seems to spread to the other characters. I think people are attracted to the show because it is attracted to the fruit of you. I wish Christians were better at walking the narrow path with you and exhibiting your fruit because we simply aren’t capable of it on our own. Ted is written by writers. And the writers know what we should look like. It’s just so hard to live it.

So why this Mary Oliver poem above? Because it was the voiceover in the last episode of season 4, and I wanted to read it and spend a little time with it. Death, after all, is inevitable and an incredible mystery to all of us. Some people are so obsessed by it, even Christians, that they dedicate their earthly lives on this side of death trying to asuage their fear by understanding it. But we simply cannot know. We get hints of an afterlife. My grandmother, on her death bed, said she saw dead relatives waiting for her. I’ve heard a lot of similar stories. I know some have died for a few minutes and come back to describe different experiences. We’ll see. In the meantime, we are left with poetry and this earthly life you’ve given each of us. Some with more pain than others. Some of that pain comes because of mistakes we made and some comes by random misfortune. I’m thinking of the couple I know of that just lost a three-month-old baby in the middle of the night. Tragic doesn’t begin to describe their earthly life experience. Father, help and comfort them, please.

Parts of this poem that stand out to me:

  • The four images of death at the beginning (bear, grim reaper of sorts with money to purchase a life, measle pox, and an iceberg) are all scary things.
  • Oliver’s response to the idea of them is to choose to respond with curiosity and wonder. They are, after all, going to do what they want to do with us. We are along for the ride. Why not greet it as something new and exciting. Of course, as a Christian I am positive and hopeful about an eternal afterlife with you in which I won’t experience time but your kingdom instead.
  • Deciding to greet death with curiosity and wonder now allows us to put the current life in perspective. The people around me are really just like me. They are 1 8-billionth of the earth’s current population, just like me. They are worried about getting their Maslow’s Hierarch of Needs met, just like me.
  • Then, she has a goal at the end to be able to say that she chose amazement, loved the world, and to have not measured her existence by success. The doesn’t want to look back having given in to fear.
  • She wants to feel she lived in this world, and not simply visite it.

It’s only this last point where I diverge from her. Well, the last two I guess. If I were to rewrite the last two stanzas, I would definitely have surrendering my rights to my life to you in there. To have spent this life worshipping you. Loving you. Loving others. It is so short, after all. It is a blip in eternity. Since I don’t have writers dictating my words, actions, and emotions, the only way I will ever experience the fruit of your Spirit is by attaching my branch to your vine as best I can.

Father, you know what’s going on in my life right now. You know my levels of stress and fatigue. You know who the people are about whom I am concerned. You know the problems I’m trying to solve. You know how much I love the people close to me–even those who are currently physically and even emotionally so far away. Guide me today. Guide them. Holy Spirit, fill me and comfort me. Love through me. Be glorified in me. Help me to use this one day of this earthly life you’ve given me just how you want me to use it.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 9, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Does Prayer Change God’s Mind” – Slow Theology Podcast

27 Sep

Dear God, I listened to this podcast a couple of days ago, and the question alone is one of those things that I figure is an unsolveable mystery. Do my supplications change your mind? Do they empower you? Do they make you stronger? Do they influence you? Here are some random thoughts I’ve had of things I’ve heard or read over the years:

  • I remember a scene from the movie Shadowlands. It is about C.S. “Jack” Lewis and the lost of his wife Joy. Anthony Hopkins is playing Jack, and a friend is trying to comfort him and talking about prayer. Friend: “I know how hard you’ve been praying. Now God is answering your prayer.” Lewis: “That’s not why I pray, Harry. I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time. Waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me.” I’ve never forgotten that. But is that how it works?
  • I thought of Jesus’s parable about the persistent Widow. I think, in fact, this might be the most important thing I’m about to say–of course it is. It’s from Jesus:
    • 18 One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. 2 “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. 3 A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ 4 The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, 5 but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’” 6 Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. 7 Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?”
  • This seems to contradict what Lewis said in Shadowlands. It seems that Jesus thinks we can influence you with our persistence. Jesus thinks you are moveable. Or is that what he’s really saying?
  • I think about the book by Frank Peretti called This Present Darkness. I don’t think there is any–and I mean ANY–theological/biblical basis for this, but when were were seeing the spiritual warfare in this book, your angels would get strong when they were fighting them demons when the Christians were praying. The prayers were some kind of power infuser that loosed your power through them–kind of like Popeye and his spinach. Your people prayed and your angels got stronger. I have no idea where he got that, but I can tell you it’s had an influence, right or wrong, on my prayers.
  • I think about Jesus in John 14 telling us whatever we ask for in his name, you will do for us.
    • 12 “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. 13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14 Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!
  • But here’s the last one I will bring up. The time you told Jesus, “No.” The time you didn’t answer his request. But there was a key to it. It was a key that Job learned by the end of his story: Not my will, but your will be done. Luke 22:
    • 39 Then, accompanied by the disciples, Jesus left the upstairs room and went as usual to the Mount of Olives. 40 There he told them, “Pray that you will not give in to temptation.” 41 He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, 42 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” 43 Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. 44 He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.

Jesus really wanted to be spared from what was about to happen. That’s one way I know his divinity didn’t protect him from the pain. He was sweating blood. While still submitting to you, he was still pleading with you. I wonder if this scene shouldn’t be the model of my prayers. It’s a model of fitting what we want into the box of what you know we need.

So can my prayers change your mind? Can they strengthen you? Can that spur you into action in a way that you wouldn’t have otherwise acted? I think the answer is vague and ultimately not understandable with my limited human mind. I think our prayers are largely about forming us and our relationship with you. You are our Father, and you want us to communicate with you. So when I see the ambulance drive by and I say a prayer for the victim they are going to help. When my coworker texts me at 8:00 on a Saturday evening and says her daughter is in the ER and my wife and I pray for her daughter. When I am at a football game and a player is knocked out for several minutes and I pray for him while the physicians work. When I pray for Ukraine, Russia, Israel, Iran, Palestine, the President, my wife, my children, my family, my friends, my work…what are those prayers doing? Well, first, they are forming me. They are growing my compassion and love. They are encouraging me to care about others and worship you. And as far as you’re concerned, the best I can figure is that there is something in my relationship with you that is happening for you in your timelessness that I just can’t understand. You are interested in loving me in the moment in time where I am currently existing, and you are interested me loving you. You want to give me those good things, but you also know the structure of the whole world, the time it is experiencing, the events that are happening, and how they will fit together. When a butterfly flaps its wings in the southern hemisphere, you don’t figure out how it will cause a storm in the northern hemisphere. You already know. You don’t chew your nails, as I heard someone put it once. You don’t fret. You know how all this goes and works out.

Father, I’m here to worship you right now. I’m here to pray. I’m here to be formed. I’m here to be changes. You know the pain I have. The pain my wife has. We even talked a little about our pain this morning. Help her to heal. Help me to heal. Bring your peace. Bring your love, and I’ll bring you the little bit of love that I have to give. My love compared to yours feels like a preschool child bringing home an art project for their parent. It’s ridiculous and imperfect, but it’s made with good intentions. And it’s yours. Thank you for it being enough. And in the meantime, I’ll keep praying until I’m on there other side. Then you’ll teach me how to exist there as well.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 27, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Diaries of Adam & Eve” by Mark Twain

01 Sep

Dear God, last night, my wife and I attended a “reading” of a play based on Mark Twain’s The Diaries of Adam and Eve at The Tobin Center in San Antonio. It was two people performing a stage play adaptation of Twain’s work. Here is what I experienced last night.

  • We got to see it with a couple of men I’ve gotten to meet through Christian Men’s Life Skills. It was a special treat to get to see it with them, although I didn’t see a couple of things coming that I think made it hard on one of them who is going through a valley in life. More on that in a minute.
  • A weird thing that happened was that, about 20 minutes into the show (about 30 minutes after the stated start time), two caregivers brought in two wheelchair bound women who were…I don’t know the right word to use. They were to the point where they were not seemingly congnitively lucid. So it was quite a disruption to the audience and even the actors on the stage which would have been fine if I thought they were enjoying or appreciating the work, but they weren’t. At least one of them wasn’t.
  • How do I know she wasn’t? At the beginning she seemed scared and/or confused. On stage, Adam was working out his name that he said Eve had given to him in a comedic way: “A Damn? A dam! etc.” But the one woman was calling back another name that was different that Adam but it was almost like she wanted someone with a similar name. It was hard to hear. Again, I had a lot of space for this woman to be who she is in that environment regardless of what it cost me as an audience member as long as I thought it was blessing her. I just didn’t get the feeling it was blessing her. Quite the opposite. The other woman was responseless. It was hard to determine if she was processing anything one way or the other. How do I know all of this, by the way? Well, I was sitting immediately behind them because my two friends had sat in two handicap seats on the floor because one recently had a stroke and the wheelchairs were put right next to them. When the one woman would make noises, I was just praying to you to cover her with your peace. I felt bad for her.
  • A little later, the first woman started saying very loudly, “I want to go home!” It was loud and clear, although obviously the words of a woman who is able to get out few words now. I looked at her caregiver who was just patting her on the arm. I couldn’t understand 1.) why they had come so late, 2.) why they had brought them to the show in the first place, and 3.) why they were just keeping them there when they were obviously not enjoying it and disrupting the experience for everyone. Finally, after about 10 “I want to go homes,” the awkwardly and disruptively took the wheelchairs out of the theater. Shout out to the actors who pressed on and didn’t miss a beat.
  • Ironically, this part of the disruption went down during the “Fall.” I admit I missed part of what was happening on stage because I was trying to figure out if they needed me to step down and help them. They didn’t. And I should say that I’m telling all of the detail on this for a reason I’ll get to in a couple of points.
  • There were many beautiful and poignant parts of the play, but the climax is in the end when (spoiler alert) Eve dies. Adam has a line that is something to the effect of, “Better to have lived with out of the Garden with Eve than to have lived in it without her.” What an interesting statement. Was the “Fall” worth it (not that I’m blaming Eve–Adam was right there–) to avoid human lonliness? It made me think about my life. My wife and I have experienced pain together. There are times now when I annoy her. There are times when she does something that frustrates me. But isn’t it better to be fallen together than maybe a little less annoyed or frustrated alone? To see Adam express his sorrow over losing Eve. Of course, it made me think of my wife and how grateful I am for her, but it also made me think of one of my friends in the audience whose wife is currently on hospice. I don’t believe she has long before death, and they have been married 65 years. And yes, there has been pain and frustration between them. No, life hadn’t been perfect. But he would rather live out of the Garden with her than in the Garden without her.
  • When the who was over, my friend was standing, and then I saw he was crying. I just grabbed him and held him for a moment. I thought it would be the last scene with Adam that had gotten to him (and he told me later that it really did), but in that moment he was crying because of the woman in the wheelchair loudly saying, “I want to go home!” His wife is currently in a nursing home has she dies, and she apparently says that to him all of the time, and it breaks his heart. It was hard for all of us to hear her say that so loudly and emphatically when we could tell she wasn’t completely lucid, but it was especially hard for my friend to feel that sorrow on behalf of his wife as well.

Father, I want you no matter what. I want eternity with your Triune self of you, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. And I also want my wife there. But while we are out of the Garden and living here in this fallen world, I thank you for her. Eve had a line about hoping she died before Adam because he was too much a part of her and who she was for her to live without him. As for me, well, my wife and I joke that our goal is to go together and to go quickly. The odds of that are slim, but it’s hard for either of us to imagine life without the other. But the part of me that wants to care for her wants her to go first only because I don’t want there to be a time in this earthly existence for her that she doesn’t feel like I’m there for her. But all of that is in your hands. In the meantime. Today. I want to enjoy her. I want to enjoy her presence outside of the Garden. I want to sink into the presence of this woman you blessed me to know. And I know our marriage is unique. I know it’s unique to have been together for 37 years and still enjoy each other as much as we do. We have sorrows, to be sure. We have people missing from our lives that is a constant ache. I guess that’s part of being out of the Garden. But for this relationship, I am grateful. And please comfort my friend. Love his wife and be merciful to her as her time out of the Garden comes to an end and she prepares to enter your Garden on the other side of death. Help my friend to feel your love. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Comfort my friend, please.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 1, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Resuscitation vs. Resurrection – Skye Jethani

21 Aug

Dear God, I was spending time with a pastor friend of mine recently, and he told me he recently asked his congregation for sermon topics, and one that came back was, “Do we have to be born again?” Interesting question. Some pastors might respond, “Of course! John 3. Jesus and Nicodemus!” Others would say, “That term has some baggage that we now need to get away from. Let’s talk about it in a different way.” I have a feeling the person who sent in the question is likely in the latter camp. They might see people preaching “born again” as fire and brimstone preachers trying to scare people into heaven by selling them fire insurance.

I thought it was probably a topic that was going to fester with me, but then I heard this extraordinary talk by Skye Jethani of the Holy Post (behind a pay wall, but you can get a one-time free listen). He talked about the difference between “Jesus, save me” and “Jesus, transform me.” He told the story of how the writer of the hymn “Amazing Grace” was saved from a storm at sea early in his life after he shouted into the wind, “God, have mercy on us,” or something like that, but that wasn’t transformation. It was just resuscitation. His life was just prolonged. That boat was a slave trading boat, and he went on capturing humans and selling them to others. It wasn’t until later in his life that he considered himself to have been transformed by you. Skye made the point that Newton’s life only got better after the saving on the boat. He eventually became a captain. But after the transformation and he repented of slave trading and started working to abolish it, his life actually got harder. But that’s when he wrote the words, “I was blind, but now I see.” It wasn’t after being saved in the storm. It was after he was resurrected and born again, a la 1 Corinthians 5:17: “If anyone is born in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come.”

The first question is, “Am I born again?” Not, “Am I resuscitated?” Am I changed and am I continuing to be changed in Jesus? I think I am, but there is a lot of chane that still needs to happen.

The next question is, “While I am on my journey, am I selling change to my friends and those I know? Am I selling born again, or am I just selling resuscitation?”

The person asking the original question was probably relating it to getting into heaven. They were probably similar to the rich young ruler who was asking Jesus, “What must I do to be saved?”

Father, I love you. Thank you for giving me not just a prolonged life, but a new life. I am different now than before I started growing in you. I am grateful. I love you. Help me to keep growing. To press on (Philippians 3:14).

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 21, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Which translation do you use?”

19 Aug

Dear God, I was listening to the Holy Post podcast this morning, and one of the things they mentioned is a common question they get is around people asking them which biblical commentary is the one they can trust. Or they’ll get asked, “Which translation do you use?” Their take was that people are looking for someone they can trust to just tell them the truth. They want certainty in their beliefs.

It reminds me of the pastor in 2020 who, after having just barely survived Covid, said in an interview that he decided through the experience that we’ve made an idol out of certainty. You are the only thing that is the same yesterday, today, and forever, but we will try to put our certainty in our spouse, children, health, economy, bank account, government, etc. I would add our theology to that as well. We want to be right about everything. That’s why we leave churches when someone disagrees with us. That’s why we try to shame others for their sin while we ignore our own. We have a need to be right.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked a friend that if we were to stand before you after we die and we asked you what percentage of our theology was correct while we were here on earth, what percentage do we think you’d come back with. Frankly, my answer was that I’d be really pleased if you told me I had 20% of it correct, meaning I would not understand, be partially wrong, or completely wrong about 80% of it. The problem is, I just don’t know which 80% is wrong and which 20% is right (assuming I’m as high as 20%).

Father, at the end of the day, I know you are there. I am all in on the Jesus virgin birth, life, death, resurrection, and assumption narrative. I’m all in on his being part of you–begotten, not made. I’m all in on the Holy Spirit. Basically, I’m all in on the Nicene Creed. Everything else is a little squishy for me. Even the specific lines that will help me be “saved.” So my choice is to live today. I am going to worship you. I am going to love others. I’m going to work hard. And I’m going to share my life vulnerably so that others might feel a touch of you through me, and so I might feel a touch of you through them. To you be the glory.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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My Best Friend’s Anniversary

12 Aug

Dear God, I want to just talk a little with you today about what happened 31 years ago. My best friend from high school got married, and I was grateful to be selected as his best man. My wife and I had been married three years at that point, and we flew from our home in Dallas to Houston for the wedding. During the rehearsal dinner, my wife started having abdominal pain. I took her back to our hotel room after the dinner and then went out with the groom and some of his college friends and hung out until about 2:00 in the morning. When I got back to the room, my wife was still in a lot of pain, so I took her to a local Emergency Room. I can’t remember if it was while we were waiting to be taken back (which took a couple of hours) or while we were waiting for a room where she could be admitted (which took even more hours), at some point she told me that before we left Dallas she felt like you had told her, “Your pregnant. It’s a girl. It’s not going to work out.” As it turned out, she had an ectopic pregnancy and we were afraid she would have to lose one of her fallopian tubes. Of course, that would impact our ability to have children in the future. Our doctor was Iranian and it was difficult to understand him through his accent (and he didn’t have the warmest personality). My mother-in-law’s GYN consulted with us by phone and helped us in our decision making. My mother-in-law came from Austin. My parents were already in Houston for the wedding. Thankfully, later that night my mother was with my wife when she passed the pregnancy on her own. I left for a few hours during that Saturday to be part of the wedding, but I didn’t stick around for the reception. I just went back to the hospital as soon as I could.

I have a distinct memory of being on my knees at her bedside and praying to you. I was praying that I trusted you. My heart was broken. I was crying. But I told you that I believed and trusted in you so much that even if I was wrong and the path of following you led to hell then I would follow you to hell. The did surgery on her two days later to make sure everything was okay. She was able to not have anything removed, and we would end up getting pregnant with our son just two months later. One of the hardest parts was getting my wife home. I had to drive her to the airport with only a big t-shirt on and a stuffed dog I bought her at a local Toys R Us sitting in her lap. Every imperfection in the road hurt. I wheeled her through the airport, we boarded our Southwest flight, got back to Love Field in Dallas and then drove back to our third-floor apartment. It was quite the thing for a 24- (her) and 25-year old (me) to go through.

We named our unborn girl Sandra, and every year I remember August 12 as her “birthday,” or the day my wife passed her pregnancy on her own. I also remember my friends anniversary that same day. I always know how long they’ve been married too.

Father, I don’t know where Sandra is right now. I like to imagine her looking down on the parents who never met her, but whom she loves and cares about. As she looks at her two siblings, one of whom would not have been born if her pregnancy had made it, I like to think of her praying for them. That she loves them even though I don’t think they regard her existence as very real. But I do. I think she prays for my wife and me too. Especially our struggles and sorrows. I told my wife that I hope she’s proud of us as she watches to move through life. I hope she’s enjoying the love she feels from my wife’s parents who have already passed from this world into the next. From my grandparents. She’s part of our family. Our legacy. And I’ll get to meet her one day. One day, I will understand so much more than I understand now. Oh, what a joy that will be. So happy anniversary, 31st Johnny and Karen. Happy 31st birthday, Sandra. All of you have my love. Father, please bless Johnny and Karen with your presence in their lives and enjoy the worship and presence of my daughter.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Common” Quote by Satchel Paige

06 Aug

“Ain’t no man can avoid being born average, but there ain’t no man got to be common.”

Satchel Paige

Dear God, you gave us this weird thing of free will. There was a man I used to know who would say that “everyone is born with a half-full cup. It’s what you do with the cup that matters.” My personal thought is that some people are born with more hurdles than others. The old thing of an advantaged person being “born on third base, but they think they hit a triple,” vs. the child born into poverty with a drug-addicted mother who is in and out of jail, father is gone, and grandmother is struggling to support him and his older sister. They are starting from different places. But the person born on third base can try to steal home and get thrown or tagged out, and the person starting at the plate can work the pitches until they either get the one they want or walk. The choice is up to each of us.

Mr. Paige knew that well. He was apparently a phenomenal baseball pitcher, but he was limited to the Negro League because black players weren’t allowed into the Major League. It wasn’t until he was 42, well past his prime, that he was allowed to play in MLB. So how did you use that pain and struggle in his life? How did you use it to form him? How did you use the awful, reprehensible things of racism and hate to make him the inspiration he later became?

While I was praying, a friend just told me about his wife who was laid off yesterday. I know there is hurt, fear, and pain. I pray that this hurt, fear, and pain won’t be wasted. I pray that you will provide for them, love them, and use it to bond them together. Make them one in every way: spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Let this be a weird answer to the prayers they’ve been praying. That we’ve all prayed.

Father, I have choices today. I can be common or uncommon. Help me to glorify you in an uncommon way. To you be the glory for the great things you have done. So loved you the world that you gave us your son who yielded his life as atonement for sin and opened the life gate that all may go in. Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, let the earth hear your voice! Praise the Lord, praise the lord, let the people rejoice! Oh, come to the Father through Jesus your son, and give you the glory for great things you have done.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 6, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Secure” by Grace Pelley

26 Jul
“Secure” by Grace Pelley. From the poetry collection A Measured Universe.

Dear God, I was listening to the Voxology podcast two weeks ago, and they were talking about this special camp in Alabama for children with disabilities. One of the hosts, who is a pastor and also the father of a son with Down Syndrome, described the camp from his experience of having just taken his son there and also being a volunteer. The place sounds amazing.

During his description of the camp, he talked about this woman with cerebral palsey. Her name is Grace Pelley, and she has written a wonderful book of poetry called A Measured Universe. He read two poems from the book, and I knew I had to get it for my wife. It came in last week. I’ve only looked at a few of the poems, but knowing the personal pain and frustration from which they are written makes them incredibly rich in meaning.

I decided I wanted to spend some time with one of these poems and see what kind of insights Ms. Pelley might have for me. What I might learn about you through her. But being someone who doesn’t spend much time with poetry, I wanted to start with a shorter one. I’ll pick some longer ones later.

This first one–“Secure”–did not disappoint. Just starting with the title, this makes me think about the pastor I heard back in 2020 who said we make an idol out of “certainty.” We want to feel certain, i.e. secure. We want to know what’s going on.

Before I start with the poem, the title alone makes me think of Job 38:4-5, when you are setting Job straight, so to speak:

4 “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?
    Tell me, if you know so much.
5 Who determined its dimensions
    and stretched out the surveying line?

Your universe is measured and intentional. I have to accept that I cannot always see why. I’m sure Ms. Pelley has struggled to see why sometimes too. But she has found your universe to be measured, indeed.

So what do I see here?

  • “Beyond what we can see is the real Reality and its good, gracious King.” Beyond the reality I can see. I can see so little of what is happening around me. Powers. Principalities. Plans beyond my comprehension.
  • “He exalts children.” Jesus and the children. Those who offer nothing. As adults, we think we have something to offer, but to you, we have no more to offer than the child who brings us a fingerpainting and thinks they’ve given us the world. And to their parent, they have. And to you, our Father, we have. I wonder if we get disappointed in ourselves because we don’t realize just how much closer to being children we are than being like you.
  • “And crowns those the world discards.” I think of the people who Jesus healed. Then I think of the man on the cross Jesus forgave. A discarded person if ever there was one. He didn’t even repent. He just worshipped and revered.
  • “Already his rule is slipping out from the veil and finding us.” We can’t see you, but we get glimpses. We get moments. Visitations. Maybe from angels we are hosting unaware. Maybe through the words of a friend or a poetry book suggested by a podcast host. Maybe through the nature you created that sometimes breaks beyond what we can control. You are too big and mighty to be hidden. And then you sent Jesus. We got a real good look at you through…well, you. You lifted the veil for 33 years and gave us a good look.
  • “The curatin will be lifted soon.” In death? Certainly. Possibly in the second coming of Jesus in my lifetime, although I doubt it. More likely in death, I will see through this veil. This curtain. I’ll see it all. It reminds me of the last letter in Screwtape Letters, when, after the human “patient” dies in a bombing, the master demon Screwtape asks the demon Wormwood what it was like when the human saw him for the first time. I cannot imagine what the first moment looking through the curtain will look like.
  • “and we’ll know He never could have lost.” This goes back to the idol of our certainty. The reality is big and it is obvious. We just cannot see it–yet.
  • “There is nothing to fear.” ‘Nuff said.

Father, there is nothing to fear. There are things to mourn. There are things to struggle against with your power and for the sake of others more than myself. But there is nothing to fear. The reality is that you will never lose.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 26, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Graduation Night

23 Jul

Dear God, we are going to try this again tonight. Last week, the flooding in South Texas prevented us from having the graduation for the men in this Christian Men’s Life Skills Class, so we are doing it one week later. I hope all of the men and their families can come.

And I have the opportunity to speak to them. I’ve prayed through what to say before, and I have a lot of ideas. Here they are in raw form:

  • I need to start with a story. I need an entry point for them. I’ll come back to this.
  • I want to integrate the organization’s foundational verse, Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. I think this is important. You saw early on, before the fall, that it was not good for humans to be alone. We need someone. Adam needed Eve, and Eve needed Adam. And they both needed you. We need positive peer pressure. We need influence. That makes me think about the Fellowship of Christian Athletes picture called “Influence.” I have a copy of it hanging on my office wall.
  • I want to talk about the influence our friends have on us. How I’ve heard it said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
  • One of the teachers who has been through the program suggested I really stress the importance of participating in the weekly alumni program and encouraging the families to positively reinforce the good changes they see in their husbands/boyfriends/fathers/sons.
  • And I want to lean into the parable of the wheat at the tares from Matthew 13. I spoke about this the other night at the alumni meeting. Jesus made a point that it would not be good to rip up the weeds because some of the good wheat would get ripped up too. No, wait until the harvest, take it all up together, and then sort it out. All of us, including me, were spared a good weed-pulling. You spared us and gave us a chance to change. We’ve been through pain. It’s time for us to make the pain count.

Father, given what I just typed above, I think a rough outline will be:

  • Opening story. I have some thoughts, but I still need a good one.
  • I think I want to do the parable of the wheat and the tares next.
  • Then I want to do “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”
  • Then the iron sharpens iron verse.
  • Then encouragement to not let this pain be wasted. Make it count.
    • Make it count for all of us to grow.
    • Get involved in alumni.
    • Encourage your loved one who completed the course.
    • Maybe learn from the material he learned from.
  • Finally, this was Christian Men’s Life Skills. All of the teachers and leaders did this because, ultimately, we want the men and their families to know the Jesus/God we know.
    • Love your enemies.
    • Serve the poor.
    • Die to yourself.
    • Find the narrow path.
  • With that said, tonight is everyone’s chance to commit themselves to Jesus and then spend the rest of your earthly life in relationship with you and becoming more and more like you.
  • Close with prayer.

Father, please help me tonight. Help me decrease as you increase. Prepare the hearts, minds, and souls of everyone in the room. Help the two men who have been arrested for previous crimes in the past two weeks.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 23, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Make the Pain Count

15 Jul

Dear God, as usual, I need your help. I not only need your help. I want your help. That’s different and, in this case, better. I’ve been asked to give a small talk at the graduation ceremony tomorrow night for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class I’ve been helping with. I’m incredibly honored because some great guys have given these talks in the past three graduations I’ve been to, including one I really admire here in my town. And this talk will be different because I’ll be talking not only to these men as a group of 20 for the last time, but their families will be there too. Keeping in mind that all but one of these men participated in this class because of a felony they were dealing with, I’m sure their families would have a story to tell about each of them too. So what do I say to a group like this? This is where I want your help. Holy Spirit, what would the Father have me say to them?

When I thought about this last night, it made me think about a marketing tool someone taught me to use 30 years ago. Start out by asking four questions:

  • Who am I talking to?
  • What do they think?
  • What do I want them to think?
  • How do I get them to think that?

So what are the answers to those questions? Honestly, I don’t know them all. One idea I have is to call one of the leaders of the class who was a student about three or four years ago because of legal problems he himself had. What does he think the guys in the class and their families need to hear? I have my ideas, but I’ve never been in their situation–thankfully.

The one thing I’ve thought of as I’ve been thinking about this is the idea of “making the pain count.” What the guys and their families have been through was too painful to let it be wasted. Life is full of pain. I’m going to a funeral this weekend of a young woman in her 30s who died tragically last weekend. Yesterday, I found myself praying for her friends and family, asking that if this pain is to be experienced, don’t let it be wasted. Make it count. And that’s what I’m thinking about for these guys and their families. They have an opportunity to make this count. To use it to change their lives.

Holy Spirit, point me to a biblical character I can use tomorrow night who made a huge mistake but he made it count. Right now, I’m thinking of Peter and how he denied Jesus, was ashamed, but then he made the pain count. He used that humility to lead the early church. To break out of the Jewish paradigm and take Jesus to Gentiles. For the Catholic church, he was the first pope. But whatever I might be thinking now, shape me over the next 36 hours. Speak to me. Guide me. I take this honor very seriously. I want to make this opportunity count for everyone there.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 15, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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