Dear God, this evening, I will be presenting the Gospel to a group of men. Help me. I want you to speak through me. I want you to draw them to yourself through me. I don’t want to scare them. I don’t want to threaten them. I want to invite them. I want to show them who you really are and what you mean to me. Why I’m here nearly every morning praying to you. Why I pray to you througout the day. Why I listen to Christian teaching. Why I read Christian things. Why I have Christian friends. I’m not here because I’m afraid of hell. I’m here because I love you. I’m here because I worship you. I’m here because I need this relationship with you today. You make me better. You grow your fruit in me. That’s what I want to offer these men tonight.
I still love this one interview that Andy Stanley did with John Dickson on how Christians have poorly played the music of a faith you authored for us through Jesus 2,000 years ago. What makes us misunderstand what Jesus taught us? I think it’s grasping for idols. Power to mask our uncertainty. If we think it will be more beneficial in the short-term then we will go for it.
The one I think about is the Crusades. What were they trying to prove? Where did they find that in Jesus’s teaching?
Father, maybe I’m wrong about all of this, but I go back to another thing that Mr. Dickson said in this interview. At least I think it was Mr. Dickson in this interview. Anyway, someone told Andy one time that you gave us four tools to use to impact our world: Prayer, Service, Persuasion, and Suffering. Help me to embrace those tools and those tools only today, tonight, and tomorrow as I tell the world–and these 24 men tonight–about the narrow path and your love.
I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
Dear God, the creation of this document and the path it set the world on has been incredibly consequential. As a country, we have certainly had a great influence over the last 120 years or so. Therefore, I wanted to spend a little time with this document this morning. I don’t think I’ve read it since high school. My first reaction is that it’s longer than I remember it being. I had it more along the lines of the preamble to the constitution. So here’s an outline of what I’m seeing here:
Paragraph one is like we are serving England with divorce papers.
Paragraph two is saying we all have a right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” but England has been deying those rights to us. We’ll give you some examples. [My note: I heard someone recently compare gerrymandering that’s been going on all over the country by both political parties as a form of taxation without representation and that only 35-ish of the 435 US House of Representatives seats are competitive. That worries me.]
He won’t support the laws we want to make for ourselves. [Interesting that this one is the lead-off hitter.]
More about not supporting local colonial laws by the King. [This must have been a bigger deal than I realized. I thought it was more about England passing laws we didn’t like. It’s interesting that these are the first two.]
Several paragraphs about how he has handled the local governing bodies in a way that is manipulative.
These manipulations of local governing bodies has left the colonies vulnerable to outside attacks.
Unfair court practices.
He has used his own puppet politicians to control and harrass. [It strikes me that this must have been felt at the most basic levels of society for these men who wrote and signed the Declaration of Independence to have been able to recruit an army willing to fight to the death over it.]
Quartering British troups. [This was such a sticking point that they later made it an amendment to our own constitution that the government couldn’t force this.]
The military could supersede local civil power. [I think they ensured against this in the constitution as well.]
Cutting off trade with different parts of the world.
Taxation without representation. [I would have thought this one would be higher on the list because it’s the one we talk about more today.]
Unfair judiciary system including sending people to England for trial.
Suspending English laws nearby and then trying to cause that system to reign over the colonies.
Setting up puppet local governments.
“…declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us. He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.” [I need to know more about this.]
Sending mercenary armies to enforce his will on the colonists. [I thought the mercenaries were a result of the war, not one of the causes.]
“He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.” [What’s that about?]
He has incited the Native Americans to attack us.
We’ve tried to address these issues peacefully, but to no avail.
We, therefore, declare our independence from England.
So that was it. And now, here we are 250 years later. Still so young compared with some civilizations and countries. Just a baby nation, really. I think about our enemies in the world, and while some of their national names and borders might not be as old, their cultures and cultural identities go back thousands of years. I heard a quote from President Reagan that says something to the effect that you can move to France and not be a Frenchman. You can move to Germany and not be a German. But anyone can move here from anywhere and be an American.
Father, I am grateful for this country. I’m incredibly grateful to be part of the 5% of the world’s population that lives here. I’ve been especially proud during the World Cup to see all of the people from around the world who have come here and found how great it is here. Yes, we have problems, but it’s a remarkable society. So show me my part. If we have 350 million people living here, I am only one person, but I have a part you want me to play. It’s to love you and love my neighbors. It’s to do what I can to make the people living around me as fulfilled in you as they can be. And that’s not done by coercion or passing laws that will supposedly make them respect you. It’s through what Jesus did: prayer, service, persuasion, and suffering. Thank you for putting me in a place where I can have the space to live that way and have these priorities.
I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Dear God, I heard a term this weekend listening to an interview a Catholic priest did with David Brooks: Numinous Moment. Mr. Brooks was describing a time when he felt a sense of your supernatural presence and could see, just a little, with your eyes. It made me stop and wonder about my own numinous moment(s). Have I had any? Are there places in my life when the veil between you and me got just a little thinner?
I know I’ve had times like this, but the one that seeminly hit me out of the blue with no explanation was when I was about 15 years old. I was home alone on a Saturday night and, I have no idea what inspired be to do this outside of the Holy Spirit coaxing me, I decided to just start reading the Bible. I opened to 1 Samuel (again, I can’t explain why) and started reading it like it was a novel. I think I got all of the way through 1 Samuel and was at least part of the way through 2 Samuel when I was just overcome by worship for you. I found myself running around the living room, shouting praise to you. I was Baptist at the time, and I had been “saved” for several years. And I can’t say that there were any long-lasting effects from this moment except the memory that I carry with me to this day. It wasn’t until two years later after an FCA Leadership Conference in Abilene that I really became a discipling Christian. But that moment. That evening. sometime in the fall of ’85 or the spring of ’86, I was all in on you. I could almost see you. And it was just from reading some stories from the Bible.
To this day, I have a special place in my heart for 1 and 2 Samuel. They are two of my favorite books. I try to get people to read them like a novel because that’s how I read them on that evening. Almost none of them do. I’m teaching a Bible study for some men right now, and I started with 1 Samuel 8, and next week I’ll finish the series by doing the first few chapters of 2 Samuel. We finiahed 1 Samuel last night.
One thing that Fr. Martin and Mr. Brooks talked about was how some people have numinous moments and then still decide to reject you. They mentioned a specific example of a woman that I can’t now remember her name. I guess that was kind of me back then. I was certainly sensitive to you. I was sensitive to my need for grace and mercy. I just had zero idea how to put discipleship into action until I went to that FCA Leadership Conference.
Father, I pray that you will help me to see the moments today when the veil between you and me might be a little thinner. I pray for those moments for my family and friends. I pray for them for my coworkers and our volunteers and patients. Give me eyes to see and ears and a heart to hear.
Dear God, my wife does a Substack called Poetry for Life. Today, she did a post about Ezekiel as a character in Lonesome Dove. I was struck by the poem she has in it so I thought I’d spend some time with it this morning. It also helps me feel closer to her since she’s out of town right now.
Here is what she wrote. Both the introduction and the poem:
You know what Lonesome Dove needs? A priest. And not just any ol’ reverend. It needs an Ezekiel. Someone who’s lost everything — homeland, vocation, wife — and still serves.
A man of vision. Even if it’s a “hell of a vision.”
A man who could do a funeral for an enemy as easily as for a friend, even when those two people are the same person.
A man to bury the dead and who would know what to say over a dead horse.
A man who’d hold out impossible hope for a wedding.
A man who’d always tells the truth but tell it slant, often with performance art.
A man who cries beside water.
A man who appreciates sky and fire.
A man who can take direction.
A man who prophecies to mountains.
A man who knows how to pack.
A man who can share allegories with Gus, out-silence Call.
A man who can write a lament and sing it as a lullaby.
A man comfortable speaking with other nations.
A man who can eat anything, even his words.
A man who, no matter how far he travels across space and time, can recognize the presence of his God and declare, “The LORD is there.”
The pastor she describes in this poem would be an interesting character to get to know. I’m not sure if they would be a “good hang” or not. I’m having dinner with a pastor friend tonight. He has terrific qualities and a great temperament. He’s one of my closest friends. And he has some of these qualities, but not all.
I wonder if I should have more of these qualities in me. There is something about the man she describes that is very attractive to me. A good ol’ boy who loves and worships you, but who can be comfortablewith anyone.
Father, I’m not sure I’m going anywhere with this. Frankly, I’m kind of lamenting this morning. ICE was in our community yesterday, and I know of families who were directly impacted by this change in policy. Help me mto be like this fictionalized modern version of the real Ezekiel. Help me to know truth . Help me to speak truth. Help me to be what you need me to be in the small world in which I live.
Dear God, earlier this week, for whatever reason–I’ll credit it to the Holy Spirit–I started thinking about some old Gary Chapman songs from the 90s. I was really involved in the Christian music industry back then from the sales side so I know some of the artists from that time period that a lot of people wouldn’t remember. I guess it started Monday evening before I went to teach the Bible study for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class. I like to sing a song to put me in the right frame of mind after a busy day at work, and, this last Monday, “Sweet Jesus” is what popped in there and I was singing as I drove to the meeting. Later, I just started listening to the Gary Chapman songs on my phone. I probably have about ten of them. Then yesterday.
I was talking with a friend who is desperately unhappy in their marriage. It was hard to hear. I know if this friend had no financial barriers they’d have probably left the marriage a long time ago. But there are financial barriers. Seemingly significant ones. So we had this difficult talk yesterday. Difficult in that it was hard to hear that much pain from them and know who to be for them. Who YOU needed me to be for them. And who you need me to be for their spouse, whom I love very much as well. And their children, whom I know well and love. Oh, Holy Spirit, what am I to say?
Then last night I had some Gary Chapman music playing, and I decided to see what he is up to now. I got on YouTube and found an interview he did a couple of years ago. He talked about his divorce from Amy Grant back in the late 90s. He talked about his mistakes. He talked about forgiving Amy and her husband Vince Gill. He’s not perfect. He didn’t pretend to be. And Amy and Vince aren’t perfect. I’m sure they don’t pretend to be either. It was just an unfortunate situation that developed into a mess because flawed humans were involved. Maybe it was a mess from the beginning.
So this morning, divorce is heavy on my heart. Not for myself, but for my friend. For my friend’s spouse. For my friend’s children. Now that I think about it, this week actually started on Sunday with the fallout from a divorce of another friend. My wife and I got a text from this friend as they lit up their former spouse and the friend told us they didn’t know how we could be friends with both of them given how evil their ex is. So much pain. So much anger. So much hatred. And Satan delights…
I guess that takes me back to Satan’s Plan A: Division. He wants to divide us as families, churches, businesses, communities, states, nations, and the world. And we just jump into his plan with both feet. There’s just that little thing in us that wants to be God. That wants to be worshipped. That wants it all to go our way, and when there are competing gods there will be conflict. Just look at the Greek myths. I don’t know the stories well, but I don’t think they ever got along.
Father, going back to my original friend from yesterday, I pray that their journey from this day forward will start with you. I pray that unity with you will be their Plan A. They will not find peace, even in divorce, without unity with you. In fact, divorce is really nothing but a source of great pain. And right now they are not only living their lives, but setting an example for their children. So I pray for both of the people in this marriage to completely unite with you. To set their faces to the wind and embrace you. To pursue you. To love you. Of course, I pray that you will then work in their hearts to encourage repentance on both parts and forgiveness, but that won’t come until they are united with you. I just don’t see how it can happen if you aren’t Plan A. Help me to know how to love both of them. Help me to know how to love this friend who is mad at me for continuing to love their ex spouse. And while I’m praying, help me to love you better and my wife better. Help me to be as the title of a Gary Chapman song says, “A Man After Your Own Heart.”
Dear God, this whole podcast yesterday was about the value of struggling. Choosing the harder, slower path because it can be of value. They talked about AI’s efforts to remove struggling in our lives. They also talked about relationships and how there is a tendency today to put up walls instead of boundaries. In this segment starting at about the 45-minute mark, they talked about the difference between a picket fence and a wall. A picket fence is used to set a boundary and keep in/out small animals (cats excluded, I assume since they can get over most fences easily) and children but still allows interactions between adults and walls which set a boundary but also knock out relationship.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother recently. I told her that, in my mind, government has worked best when different views have to work together and compromise. If one party had complete control of the House of Representatives (all 435 seats), the Senate (all 100 seats), the Supreme Court (all 9 seats), and the Presidency (1 seat), it would be a disaster, but that seems to be our goal. That’s what gerrymandering is all about. How can my party get more control so we can get our way without effort or compromise? How can I make life easier for me with more power? Even if I were a Republican, I shouldn’t want all 535 seats of Congress, all 9 Supreme Court seats, and the White House. Same is true if I were a Democrat. The result would be horrible.
In the context of the video segment I linked above, if I were only in relationship with like-minded people then it would be bad for me. I need the iron of others to rub up against me and sharpen my iron. I need smart people who disagree with me. I need to learn to compromise because–guess what–I’m not always right! No one is. We all need to be corrected.
One thing about the younger generation now is that more and more of them struggle to know how to interact with other people in person. A friend and I were talking yesterday about how waiting tables earlier in our lives taught us so much. Multitasking. Dealing with difficult people. Self-confidence. Sales. It was hard work, but we were better for it.
Father, help me to embrace the difficulty of interpersonal relationships, including those with family who are difficult. Yes, it would be easier to put up a wall. It would be a path of less resistance if I just leave behind those who bother me, annoy me, or challenge me for a path where there is no challenge, but I would be missing something huge. I’d be missing the opportunity to learn from them, and I might miss the opportunity to impart you to them. You make me better. My wife makes me better. My friends and coworkers make me better. My family makes me better. One of the great things about community is how it forces me to get out of myself and be a little more humble. Help me to be that humble.
8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”
Genesis 3:8-10
Dear God, I read a long story this morning through Apple News from New York Magazine called “The Divorce Tapes: My family knew that my father had been tapping the phone lines. Only later would I discover the secrets the recordings contained.” It was a tough read, but it was important. Basically while it described an incredibly dysfunctional marriage, its main topic was the molestation of a child by an uncle that ended up being a family secret that destroyed lives. It was written by Beth Raymer, and in it she decribed what happened to her sister and the collateral damage for the sister and everyone else. It was heartbreaking and powerful.
Interestingly, but not surprisingly, the uncle had apparently been molested by a priest as a boy. Man hands on misery to man. I’m sure something had happened to that priest. And then the shame. The secrets. The lies. It’s all hard.
It made me think about Bible passages that touch on this kind of thing. The first thing I thought of was this passage when Adam and Eve were hiding from you in the Garden. They were ashamed and they were trying to keep from telling you the truth. They were trying to figure out how to lie. Whether one believes there was an actual Adam and Eve or that they are a representative of the first people, whoever wrote this was able to recognize proclivity all of us have to lie and hide things. To hide not only our mistakes, but hide even the things done to us.
In the case of the story Ms. Raymer tells, her sister did share what happened with Beth and their mother. Seemingly, nothing was ever done about it except that the mother discussed it with a couple of her own sisters. No police. No counseling. No processing. No release of guilt for the little girl. No clearing up of the confusion she felt. Just burying it, hoping it would go away.
Of course, it didn’t. It almost never does. I would say it never does, but there might be an exception out there (I doubt it). It’s manifested itself in the sister’s life through addictions and a difficult adult life. It broke my heart because I have relatives and friends whom I suspect have suffered similar experiences and are hiding it with everything they have. And I’ve seen the effects of it on their lives. I’ve tried to ask about it in some cases, but have been rebuffed. After I read the story this morning, I went for a bike ride, and I found myself praying for some of them.
Before I go, I guess I should mention another Bible story I thought about when it comes to this stuff:
5 Later, when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant, she sent David a message, saying, “I’m pregnant.” (2 Samuel 11:5)
How horrific for her. This was just the second step of her horror. The first being that David used her and sent her home with her guilt and shame. Later, she would have to face her husband and then know his murder was because of all of this. Finally, the child would die. And it was an open secret to everyone. How do I know it was open and known? Well, I know about it, don’t I? And I wasn’t even there. Nathan knew.
Father, as I sit here, my stomach is just in knots for those I love who have experienced this kind of assault. Oh, God, have mercy. If secrets are being kept, please let them come to light. Release those I love from their shame and pain. Whether they had something done to them, or they did something to someone else (or both). Heal, Father. Heal, Jesus. Heal, Holy Spirit. We need you. I need you to show me how to help and how to love.
Key Regrets and Observations from St. Faustina’s Vision:
Wasted Time/Opportunities: Souls regret not capitalizing on daily, ordinary moments to serve God.
Delayed Mercy/Love: Regret for postponing acts of love or reconciliation.
Longing for God: The greatest suffering is a deep, agonizing longing for God.
The Power of Now: The deceased realize that the present moment is the time for earning merit, a power they no longer have.
Dear God, I was listening to a homily from Fr. Mike Schmitz this morning, and he referenced a vision St. Faustina had of talking to people who had died and were in Purgatory. Personally, I’m not a subscriber to the existence of Purgatory, but it really doesn’t matter what I think because I don’t think any of us can really understand what happens after death. So I’m not going to let that distract me from the wisdom in these words.
As Fr. Mike was going through these regrets this morning, the two that convicted me the most were the waste of time and not loving you more.
Regarding wasted time, I know I waste too much time. YouTube seems to be my vice of choice. I need to do something about that. Guide me, please.
Regarding loving you, well, how could it ever be enough? I kind of think of our relationship as it is with my wife. I’ve been in love with you long enough that the ooey gooey emotions are not constant (although they are definitely still there on a regular basis), but I try to get quality time with you regularly, like this, you are precious to me.
Father, I know I’ll have regrets. How can I not have them? I have them now, even with decisions I’ve made over the last couple of days. How could I not have them over the course of my life? But what can I say? Here I am now. Holy Spirit, guide me in each moment.
“These are troubled times. The world is full of strife and heartache. Men and women everywhere seek peace of mind and heart, and wish desperately that they as individuals could do something toward lifting the heavy blanket of gloom and fear that opposes mankind.”
Dear God, there’s a little backstory as to how I started reading this book, but I’m on vacation, and I opened this book last night. It was gifted to my father in 1964, and he recently re-gifted it to me for my birthday with a lovely note telling me the story about how he came to get it and what it meant to him.
I was amused by the second paragraph of the introduction I quoted above. I thought, “Hold it! Wait! I thought 1947 was a time we were all trying to get back to. Wasn’t America great then? If we could get back there, isn’t that where my “happy heart” will be (I’m looking at you Madame Blueberry!)? I was so amused I sent it to 11 friends and family. My dad replied, “The way we won WWII with Hiroshima was a schizophrenic ‘Joy! We won!’ and ‘Doomsday!'” Hmm. Maybe 1947 wasn’t the peaceful nirvana I’ve been told it was. Maybe people in the moment weren’t looking around and saying, “This is the best!” Maybe they looked back at the 1920s, pre-Great Depression, and thought, “That’s when we were great!” And then the people in the 1920s looked back at 1900 and thought, “Things are so crazy and gluttonous now. Drinking is out of control. We need prohibition. If only we could get back to a time before the Great War. Times were simpler then.”
Of course, I’m saying all of this from the perspective of a white man in America. If I had been a person of color in any of those past times…well, let’s just say things weren’t that great back then.
So where does that leave me this morning? Still amused. Amused at our own foolishness. I referenced Madame Blueberry earlier. It’s a great little cartoon by VeggieTales that my wife and I still joke about nearly 30 years after its release. It has a character who is constantly looking for a “happy heart.” At one point, she goes to “Stuff-Mart” to see if she can buy a happy heart there. Where is a happy heart that will bring her the peace she’s looking for? Eventually, she learns from Junior Asparagus that “a thankful heart is a happy heart.” That’s largely true.
I think about Jesus’s parable of the sower often. The four different types of soil: the path, rocks, thorny, and good soil. The thorns are what I battle. Jesus describes the thorns as pursuit of wealth and the cares of this world. I don’t so much pursue wealth, but I don’t ignore it either. But I do allow the cares of this world–these troubled times–to affect me and bring me down. And they choke out your Holy Spirit in my life. In my heart. They choke out the fruit that the Spirit grows in me.
Father, Dunn says that the secret to happiness is giving yourself away. And I think he’s on the right track, to a certain extent. But from what I can tell three chapters in, he is thinking of giving myself away as a cause and not an effect. He thinks that I can just choose to give myself away. I would counter that the peace of giving myself away starts with the cause of worshipping you, putting my faith in you, and laying down my idols. What are some of my idols? A stable U.S. economy. A powerful U.S. military that will keep me “safe.” A corruption-free government. A government that is compassionate and kind–not cruel and mean. Children who live up to all my expectations. A wife who lives up to all my expectations. Enough money in my bank account. The ability to buy what I want whenever I want. You know, the stuff Jesus said was the thorns: the pursuit of wealth and the cares of this world. So help me to lay down all of those idols today. You are my one and only God. I will do my best to have no other gods before you. And I will try to love everyone around me as myself.
Pride (Superbia): Excessive belief in one’s own abilities, often called the original sin.
Greed (Avaritia): Desire for material wealth or possessions, often called avarice.
Lust (Luxuria): Intense or uncontrolled sexual desire.
Envy (Invidia): Sadness at another’s good fortune or desire for their possessions.
Gluttony (Gula): Overindulgence or excessive consumption of food or drink.
Wrath (Ira): Uncontrolled feelings of anger, rage, or hatred.
Sloth (Acedia): Laziness, spiritual apathy, or failure to act.
Pope Gregory I
Dear God, my wife and I were just at a winery visiting about a book she’s been reading that was written in 1950 called The Feast by Margaret Kennedy. I might check it out. Apparently, it is a novel about seven people who died in an accident and each of them exemplifies one of the seven deadly sins as articulated by Pope Gregory in 590 AD. Frankly, I’ve never spent much time thinking about these seven sins as standing out as deadlier than the others. I wonder if he thought they encompass the other sins we commit much like Jesus thought the two great commandments encapsulated all of God’s other commandments.
Now I have to be careful because I’m getting a lot of this from Wikipedia’s entry for the seven deadly sins, but it was pretty interesting reading. Apparently, Pope Gregory listed them in order of importance from least to most. Interestingly, Lust was his least. Here is Gregory’s order:
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride
And then Wikipedia quoted C.S. Lewis from Mere Christianity regarding pride: “Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that Lucifer became wicked: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind.” Interesting.
I guess the good news for me is that my temptations are lower in the order of importance with gluttony being probably my biggest struggle. But pride. Pride is interesting because I think it’s something we all struggle with at some point. I don’t want to be anti-God–anti-You. I want to be completely submitted to you, grateful to you, dependent upon you, and humble before you and other men. I want to be able to consider my life worth nothing to me. I told my wife at the winery that I get a lot of compliments from people through my work and during the week. It can be hard to know how to deal with them. Oh, how I want to just deflect all of the glory that people might want to see in me to you.
Father, I know I’m prone to wander, and it’s mostly my pride that makes me want to wander. I’m prone to leave you and take all the credit and glory for me. I want to be important. I want to be all in all. I confess it. That’s what I want. But I also know, thankfully, that all of that is a lie. I know that I am weak. I am fragile. I am human. I am nothing. I am your servant. Like Job, like Paul, and like anyone else, my life is to be submitted completely and totally to your will. So my I remember that without you having to take things away to remind me of it. I am submitted to you, and I love you.
