⁸ When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. ⁹ Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

¹⁰ He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

Genesis 3:8-10

Dear God, I read a long story this morning through Apple News from New York Magazine called “The Divorce Tapes: My family knew that my father had been tapping the phone lines. Only later would I discover the secrets the recordings contained.” It was a tough read, but it was important. Basically while it described an incredibly dysfunctional marriage, its main topic was the molestation of a child by an uncle that ended up being a family secret that destroyed lives. It was written by Beth Raymer, and in it she decribed what happened to her sister and the collateral damage for the sister and everyone else. It was heartbreaking and powerful.

Interestingly, but not surprisingly, the uncle had apparently been molested by a priest as a boy. Man hands on misery to man. I’m sure something had happened to that priest. And then the shame. The secrets. The lies. It’s all hard.

It made me think about Bible passages that touch on this kind of thing. The first thing I thought of was this passage when Adam and Eve were hiding from you in the Garden. They were ashamed and they were trying to keep from telling you the truth. They were trying to figure out how to lie. Whether one believes there was an actual Adam and Eve or that they are a representative of the first people, whoever wrote this was able to recognize proclivity all of us have to lie and hide things. To hide not only our mistakes, but hide even the things done to us.

In the case of the story Ms. Raymer tells, her sister did share what happened with Beth and their mother. Seemingly, nothing was ever done about it except that the mother discussed it with a couple of her own sisters. No police. No counseling. No processing. No release of guilt for the little girl. No clearing up of the confusion she felt. Just burying it, hoping it would go away.

Of course, it didn’t. It almost never does. I would say it never does, but there might be an exception out there (I doubt it). It’s manifested itself in the sister’s life through addictions and a difficult adult life. It broke my heart because I have relatives and friends whom I suspect have suffered similar experiences and are hiding it with everything they have. And I’ve seen the effects of it on their lives. I’ve tried to ask about it in some cases, but have been rebuffed. After I read the story this morning, I went for a bike ride, and I found myself praying for some of them.

Before I go, I guess I should mention another Bible story I thought about when it comes to this stuff:

⁵ Later, when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant, she sent David a message, saying, “I’m pregnant.” (2 Samuel 11:5)

How horrific for her. This was just the second step of her horror. The first being that David used her and sent her home with her guilt and shame. Later, she would have to face her husband and then know his murder was because of all of this. Finally, the child would die. And it was an open secret to everyone. How do I know it was open and known? Well, I know about it, don’t I? And I wasn’t even there. Nathan knew.

Father, as I sit here, my stomach is just in knots for those I love who have experienced this kind of assault. Oh, God, have mercy. If secrets are being kept, please let them come to light. Release those I love from their shame and pain. Whether they had something done to them, or they did something to someone else (or both). Heal, Father. Heal, Jesus. Heal, Holy Spirit. We need you. I need you to show me how to help and how to love.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen