Dear God, earlier this week, for whatever reason–I’ll credit it to the Holy Spirit–I started thinking about some old Gary Chapman songs from the 90s. I was really involved in the Christian music industry back then from the sales side so I know some of the artists from that time period that a lot of people wouldn’t remember. I guess it started Monday evening before I went to teach the Bible study for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class. I like to sing a song to put me in the right frame of mind after a busy day at work, and, this last Monday, “Sweet Jesus” is what popped in there and I was singing as I drove to the meeting. Later, I just started listening to the Gary Chapman songs on my phone. I probably have about ten of them. Then yesterday.

I was talking with a friend who is desperately unhappy in their marriage. It was hard to hear. I know if this friend had no financial barriers they’d have probably left the marriage a long time ago. But there are financial barriers. Seemingly significant ones. So we had this difficult talk yesterday. Difficult in that it was hard to hear that much pain from them and know who to be for them. Who YOU needed me to be for them. And who you need me to be for their spouse, whom I love very much as well. And their children, whom I know well and love. Oh, Holy Spirit, what am I to say?

Then last night I had some Gary Chapman music playing, and I decided to see what he is up to now. I got on YouTube and found an interview he did a couple of years ago. He talked about his divorce from Amy Grant back in the late 90s. He talked about his mistakes. He talked about forgiving Amy and her husband Vince Gill. He’s not perfect. He didn’t pretend to be. And Amy and Vince aren’t perfect. I’m sure they don’t pretend to be either. It was just an unfortunate situation that developed into a mess because flawed humans were involved. Maybe it was a mess from the beginning.

So this morning, divorce is heavy on my heart. Not for myself, but for my friend. For my friend’s spouse. For my friend’s children. Now that I think about it, this week actually started on Sunday with the fallout from a divorce of another friend. My wife and I got a text from this friend as they lit up their former spouse and the friend told us they didn’t know how we could be friends with both of them given how evil their ex is. So much pain. So much anger. So much hatred. And Satan delights…

I guess that takes me back to Satan’s Plan A: Division. He wants to divide us as families, churches, businesses, communities, states, nations, and the world. And we just jump into his plan with both feet. There’s just that little thing in us that wants to be God. That wants to be worshipped. That wants it all to go our way, and when there are competing gods there will be conflict. Just look at the Greek myths. I don’t know the stories well, but I don’t think they ever got along.

Father, going back to my original friend from yesterday, I pray that their journey from this day forward will start with you. I pray that unity with you will be their Plan A. They will not find peace, even in divorce, without unity with you. In fact, divorce is really nothing but a source of great pain. And right now they are not only living their lives, but setting an example for their children. So I pray for both of the people in this marriage to completely unite with you. To set their faces to the wind and embrace you. To pursue you. To love you. Of course, I pray that you will then work in their hearts to encourage repentance on both parts and forgiveness, but that won’t come until they are united with you. I just don’t see how it can happen if you aren’t Plan A. Help me to know how to love both of them. Help me to know how to love this friend who is mad at me for continuing to love their ex spouse. And while I’m praying, help me to love you better and my wife better. Help me to be as the title of a Gary Chapman song says, “A Man After Your Own Heart.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen