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“Know Who You Are” from Moana

09 Feb

Dear God, this is a special song. I’ve used it in a prayer before and I’m using it again now. While this is a fable that includes false gods, the analogy I’ve used for people I love is pretty apt. I’ve seen people get so wrapped up in self-pity, shame, secrets, hate, revenge, etc. that it causes them to act out in terrible ways. But I know there is someone else inside of them. Someone you know. Someone you created in your image. Someone who can love, forgive, encourage, and serve.

When I see Moana place Te Fiti’s heart back in her it reminds me of you replacing our cold hearts with your love and mercy. Wiping away our shame and enabling us to simply both receive and give love again. Sometimes someone comes along and damages us–takes away our innocence. Sometimes we stray and do it ourselves. Either way, we are left with a lot of damage that only you can heal.

I have crossed the horizon to find you / I know your name / They have stolen the heart from inside you / But this does not define you / This is not who you are / You know who you are

Father, you know my prayers. You know my heart. You know who is on my heart. Let your love flow. Let your mercy be embraced. Let secrets and shame be broken and freedom in you permeate every inch of our lives. For your glory. Do it for your glory. We’ve experienced pain. Make it count. Don’t let it be wasted, but let it be part of your master plan to have your kingdom come and your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2022 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Matthew 5:43-48

08 Feb

43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48

Dear God, being perfect, even as you are perfect, is an interesting target to try to hit. Of course, I can’t be perfect, and I need Jesus’s blood, resurrection, mercy and grace to be even be seen by you. I get that. But still Jesus is saying that we need to simply be above what is going on around us. We need to be above both revenge for evil done to us and reward for good done to us. It’s not how you work. You give sunlight and rain regardless of our good or evil behaviors. You love me and others despite the fact that we don’t love you with all of our heart, mind, and strength.

On a scale of 1-10, I am probably about a 3 when it comes to remembering to look at the world beyond what I can see with my eyes. That is to say, every once in a while I am actually cognizant that you are doing things I cannot see and my actions are not necessarily correlated with the fruit in my life I can see with my eyes. If I see good fruit, that doesn’t necessarily mean I did it right. If I see bad fruit, that doesn’t necessarily mean I did it wrong. Like I said, sometimes I remember this–but most of the time I don’t.

Father, help me to love my neighbor as myself. Help me to not return bad with bad. Help me to not take an eye when my eye is taken. I’m not saying I should just allow others to walk all over me, undermine me, etc. But I am saying that, while I can put up some reasonable boundaries, it doesn’t mean I cannot love them at the same time. And thank you again for loving me way beyond what I deserve. Thank you for not taking revenge out upon me for all of the times I failed you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2022 in Matthew

 

Isaiah 6:8

06 Feb

8 Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.”

Isaiah 6:8

Dear God, when I read this in church this morning, my first thought was, “I’m not sure if I’m that brave. I don’t know if I want to be used by God to that extent.” Then I read the Gospel reading from Luke 5 when Jesus calls Peter. Again, I thought, “Better him that me.”

This is my confession to you. I want to love you. I want to serve you–to a point. I want to worship you. I want to sacrifice for your–to a point. I want to embrace your forgiveness and grace. I want to work for you–to a point. See the pattern here? I’m good with the love stuff. Forgiveness. Worship. That’s all good and well. But when it comes to serving, sacrificing and working, my first inclination is to still steer into my own comfort zone.

I’ve often joked that Noah had the worst situation of the Bible. I’d just as soon have died in the flood as go through the 100 years of building an ark, taking care of all of the animals, and then building back society. I’ve also said that if there is a nuclear bomb coming or a zombie apocalypse, I want to go in the first wave. I don’t want to be a survivor. I’ve seen the movies and it doesn’t look like the survivors are having a good time at all. When I examine myself, I suppose I’m unbelievably lazy.

As I sat in church and contemplated these things, I started to wonder how much my age has to do with my natural tendency to lethargy–well, maybe not lethargy. Safety and security might be better words. Twenty years ago, I was in my early 30s and willing to take more chances. Now, in my early 50s, I think I’m starting to feel the combination of less energy and a sense that I have less margin for error. The older I get, the more the chances I take will impact the rest of my life. Am I really ready to give all that I am for all that you are?

In the Bible in a year podcast from this morning, they read Psalm 73. It seems like a good psalm to pray to you now as my own prayer: It’s remarkably appropriate (I am bolding the beginning and end to emphasize how I am feeling):

1 Truly God is good to Israel,
    to those whose hearts are pure.
2 But as for me, I almost lost my footing.
    My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.
3 For I envied the proud
    when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
4 They seem to live such painless lives;
    their bodies are so healthy and strong.
5 They don’t have troubles like other people;
    they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else.
6 They wear pride like a jeweled necklace
    and clothe themselves with cruelty.
7 These fat cats have everything
    their hearts could ever wish for!
8 They scoff and speak only evil;
    in their pride they seek to crush others.
9 They boast against the very heavens,
    and their words strut throughout the earth.
10 And so the people are dismayed and confused,
    drinking in all their words.
11 “What does God know?” they ask.
    “Does the Most High even know what’s happening?”
12 Look at these wicked people—
    enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.

13 Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?
    Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?
14 I get nothing but trouble all day long;
    every morning brings me pain.

15 If I had really spoken this way to others,
    I would have been a traitor to your people.
16 So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.
    But what a difficult task it is!
17 Then I went into your sanctuary, O God,
    and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked.
18 Truly, you put them on a slippery path
    and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction.
19 In an instant they are destroyed,
    completely swept away by terrors.
20 When you arise, O Lord,
    you will laugh at their silly ideas
    as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.

21 Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
    and I was all torn up inside.
22 I was so foolish and ignorant—
    I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23 Yet I still belong to you;
    you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
    leading me to a glorious destiny.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    I desire you more than anything on earth.
26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
    but God remains the strength of my heart;
    he is mine forever.

27 Those who desert him will perish,
    for you destroy those who abandon you.
28 But as for me, how good it is to be near God!
    I have made the Sovereign Lord my shelter,
    and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you do.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2022 in Isaiah, Psalms

 

Wintering

04 Feb

Book Club Announcement: Wintering by Katherine May

Dear God, I was reading the introduction to this book club for a book called Wintering, and some of the words really resonated with me. I think this one paragraph sums it up:

In Wintering, May opens the door to winter, settles in, then watches it pass. She lets it teach her, and us, how to winter. May uses the word “wintering” as a metaphor, applying the meteorological season to a season of life. It’s not necessarily the hardest season, not the one that pushes us beyond our limits, although that can usher in a wintering. It’s the one in which we lie “fallow.” No more to do. Wait for spring.

That’s really quite something. I’ve never thought of lying fallow as an appropriate response to a season of life. All seasons are to be addressed, aren’t they? They are to be approached with deliberate intention and action. Even if there is nothing that can be done about one thing, I need to make sure I am being constructive in another area. Vacations might be for lying fallow, but the rest of life should be worked.

So what might be happening to me in a season of life where I lie fallow? What does that look like? I mean, I know I still need to do my job and provide for myself. I can’t just let myself go into a depressed state of wallowing. I know enough about myself to realize I would ultimately just lie in self pity and make matters only worse. So I cannot totally shut down. But should there be intentional seasons of restoring my soul? A chance for my body and life to rest from producing lots of fruit so that it might gather its strength for a productive spring? This is interesting. I might just have to join this book club and read this book.

Father, speak to me. Holy Spirit, speak to me. Jesus, speak to me. It’s interesting that there is this one part in my life that seems to be completely dormant and there is absolutely nothing I can do to revive it. I’ve had to let it lie and pray that you are helping it to regenerate in the silence. Are there other areas of my life that perhaps need this as well? There is a writing project I was really interested in a year ago, and I made some exciting progress on it, but now it has gone dormant. Should I let it stay that way for a time? How will I know when spring is here and it is time to pick it up again? Or was it only important for a time and not what I thought it would be for me? I don’t know. Holy Spirit, be my counselor. Guide me. Give me ears to hear.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2022 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Revenge

02 Feb

No verse.

Dear God, I was watching a basketball game with my wife last night that was a lot of “fun.” What made it fun? The revenge factor. The hate and animosity that the home team fans had for the visiting team, their coach in particular. The venom in the arena came through the TV. One of the announcers said, “We need more hate like this in college basketball.” My wife and I remarked how much fun it would have been to be there. A friend texted and told me his sister camped out for three days to get tickets. What fueled this glee on all of our parts (myself included)? Revenge. Hate. Animosity. In the case of last night, the “bad guys” lost and there was much rejoicing.

When I woke up this morning, I thought about this a little. Why was I drawn to revel and enjoy this vitriol for a while last night? Why was I texting friends about it?

There are still worldly things in my heart. Idols. Pride. Anger. Guilt. Lust. Pretty much all of the things listed by Paul in Galatians 5:19-21 as the “desires of the sinful nature” (NLT). I wish they weren’t there, but they are. And things of the world can fuel them if I let them.

The Bible in a Year thing I’ve been listening to this year is covering Exodus right now, and this morning mentioned the plagues on the Egyptians and how they not only eventually broke the Egyptians to let the Israelites go, but they were also the process of you defeating the Egyptian gods. But not only in the minds of the Egyptians, but also the minds of the Israelites. They had been in Egypt for 400 years. They had let Egyptian way of life creep into their lives as well. To some extent, the Egyptian gods had become their gods. So the plagues were also about revealing yourself to the Israelites as their one, true God.

Father, you are my one, true God and I am grateful for you. Thank you for making your grace attainable for me. Thank you for the opportunity to repent and humble myself before you and others. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being a God that is worthy of my worship.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2022 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Sadness

31 Jan

Dear God, I think Inside Out from Pixar/Disney was one of the most brilliant movies about psychology that I’ve ever seen. The clip above is the spoiler for the movie. In fact, if anyone is reading this and has not seen the movie, I would strongly encourage them to stop reading and watch the entire movie right now. It’s brilliant (I think I said that already) and you have to take the whole journey to appreciate the clip I found above. With that said, there are spoilers ahead.

So the big reveal at the end of the movie is that “Joy” ends up being the unwitting villain of the movie. The main emotions for the pre-pubescent child are Joy, Disgust, Anger, and Sadness. For 95% of the movie, Sadness is seen as the problem. Sadness is apparently making things worse. But by the end the conclusion is that, sometimes, sadness, is the exact emotion we need to move through something in a healthy way. By trying to squelch sadness you end up taking away a key aspect of each one of us.

I think it’s a fascinating thing for our society right now. Take politics for example. I think a lot of people are sad about how the last election in 2020 turned out, just like a different group of people were sad about how the 2016 election turned out. However, instead of letting sadness have its moment, most people went straight to anger, and that anger is fueled by a media that makes its money off of anger. Sadness doesn’t drive ratings. Anger does.

And sometimes we find ourselves responding to personal situations by trying to deny sadness and will ourselves to joy or substitute anger. I’ve certainly done that. I think a lot of people do it. Anger seems to be the big one. If I’ve been wronged, anger because the default emotion instead of sadness.

Father, help me to embrace sadness more. Help me to support others in sadness as well. I have a friend whose husband recently got a terrible medical diagnosis. Help me to learn from Job’s friends and just sit with them in sadness for a while. Help us to learn to mourn. Help us to take that mourning to you and turn it into faith and worship. I certainly have things in my life right now that have made me incredibly sad while also being laced with anger. And there can be a place for anger–don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want to lose my sadness and miss the opportunity for sadness to push me in the direction you need me to go.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2022 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Job 2:11-13

28 Jan

11 When three of Job’s friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him. Their names were Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. 12 When they saw Job from a distance, they scarcely recognized him. Wailing loudly, they tore their robes and threw dust into the air over their heads to show their grief. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Job 2:11-13

Dear God, I want to stop and give Job’s friends credit for their first seven days with him. “No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.” Then Job starts speaking in chapter 3 and this is when they make their mistake. They speak too hastily. To give them the benefit of the doubt, they don’t know what they don’t know. They don’t realize that you consider their advice and counsel to be foolish. They think they are doing and saying the right things to Job. They think you will be happy with what they are telling him. “Hey, you must have done something wrong. Repent before God and it’ll all be good.” If only they had either remained silent and encouraged Job.

When I got married, I was the typical guy who thought he could solve all of his own problems and any problem his wife brought to him. My wife, within a year or two taught me to respond to her situations by saying, “That sucks.” Sometimes it requires an exclamation point: “That sucks!” But I’ve learned it’s almost always the right answer. I might have some counsel, but it better be really well thought out and, better yet, prayed over, but sometimes she just needs me to sit next to her and say, “That sucks.”

I was listening to the Bible in a year podcast I mentioned a couple of days ago this morning, and he was going over the story in Exodus of the burning bush. He mentioned that you had remembered the Israelites even when they didn’t know you remembered them. You were working on it. He talked about how we have challenges or even crises in our lives that demand our attention and prayer. And sometimes it feels like you aren’t hearing us at all. Sometimes we see no evidence. But you are always there. You always hear. You are working. We might not see it in the moment. We may never see it. But you are always there. And you might even be doing other things in our lives that are blessing us.

Right now, nine out of every ten things happening in my life are great. So much is going well. But there are a couple of things that divert my attention and dominate my prayers. And it can feel like you aren’t working and you don’t hear them. But I have enough experience with you to know that you are working in ways I can’t see. You are working things for the good of your plan and not mine. You remind me that I submitted my plans to you when I submitted to the cross. You remind me of things you’ve done for me in the past that I didn’t know you were doing at the time.

Father, right now, I have a friend who concerns me. He got a devastating medical diagnosis recently, and I’m not sure what you need him to have from me. Help me and guide me into being exactly what you need him to have from me. Of course, I have the things I pray continuously about. Show me what to do and what not to do. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage the change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Do it all for your glory, sweet Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.

I pray all of this under the power and authority of my savior, Jesus,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 28, 2022 in Exodus, Job

 

Dreams

24 Jan

Dear God, I was thinking a couple of days ago about the idea of dreams and interpreting them. I wonder how much or often you still speak to us in dreams. For example, in Genesis you have Joseph’s dreams and Pharaoh’s dreams. In Matthew, the other Joseph actually had angels visit him in his dreams. Well, last night, I had one that, if there’s an interpretation I’d love to hear it. If it’s just a revealing of my heart and psyche, it was very encouraging.

It was my wife and me and we had decided, for whatever reason, to recreate our wedding day now. Not renew our vows, although that was part of it, but actually recreate our wedding day. It was fraught with problems, but we were just delighted and laughed the whole time. Many things were going wrong, but we were just rolling with them and laughing.

The interesting thing is that there were missing people. Over the last 30 years we’ve lost several, including her parents, so she walked the aisle by herself, without her dad (Although, for some reason, she had on a heavy backpack the we had decided to use as a substitute for her dad. And the weight of the backpack didn’t burden her even while the weight of it made her stumble forward. She just laughed as she came down the aisle). Her aunt who played songs at our wedding was there, but she couldn’t remember the songs so she just kind of sang randomly. Oh, and I remember this. My wife and I were talking before the ceremony about how our original one wasn’t that religious, but then as we saw everything unfold we saw Jesus everywhere. In the songs we picked, the scriptures. It thrilled us to see how involved you had been from the beginning.

Father, I’m glad I’m talking about this dream I don’t think I’ve ever prayed about one like this before, but it’s encouraging me. It’s reminding me that you are there with us and you have been with us from the beginning. Thank you. It’s showing me that, even with our current struggles (I’m thinking of her heavy backpack) we are holding up well. So, for whatever reason, I feel like singing The Doxology to you. Praise God,from whom all blessing flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above the heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2022 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

“Vulnerable Conversation with Toby Mac about Grief and Loss”

23 Jan

“I started to learn to laugh, even in the first week a little bit, but not laugh as deeply, you know?” I don’t know if I’ll ever laugh as deeply. I don’t know if I’ll ever smile as big. But I can smile, and I can laugh. I don’t know if it will ever be–until eternity–if it will ever be fully.” (2:50 mark of video)

Dear God, I heard this interview yesterday and it struck a chord with me. Especially this quote. Especially as a parent, I think when we go through some sort of loss, whether it is a wayward child, a broken relationship, or the tragedy of death, when we are apart from them for any negative reason, I don’t think it’s ever possible to laugh as deeply or smile as big. There is always a cloud. Always an omnipresent pit in my stomach. I’m just grateful that you are omnipresent as well.

In the Bible in a Year podcast I’m listening to, they were covering the part of the Joseph story in Genesis where Judah is pleading with Joseph for Benjamin’s life (Genesis 44:18-34). Judah describes Jacob’s pain, and it reminds me of what Toby was saying in the video above. This brash, conniving, manipulating scoundrel was devastated by Joseph’s loss. Judah couldn’t bear to watch him lose Benjamin too.

I guess I had this sort of loss for about 10 years now. Neither of my children died, but I’ve been in some state of brokenness with one of both of them constantly over that time. And it’s true, what Toby said. I can laugh again, but it’s never been as deep. And I’ve smiled, but it’s never been as big. Mercifully, at least up to this point, the difference is that I have a hope that restoration is still possible. My time with them on this side of heaven is not sealed and lost forever. That’s why I pray for them. That’s why I hope. That’s why I burn candles. That’s why I worship. As Toby also said right before the quote above, you find us in the pit (or we find you there). If our pain is omnipresent, so are you.

Father, I pray for Toby and his wife. I pray for the rest of their family as well. I pray for my own family. Comfort and guide all of us. I am trusting that this is the path you need for all of us to walk to ultimately work your own wonder in each of our lives. Thank you for continuously sitting with me in this pain. Thank you for raising up people around me, including my wife, who are an encouragement and comfort to me. Thank you for loving me, my wife, and my children so completely.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 23, 2022 in Genesis, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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John 19:23-30 — “The Crucifixion” by Eric Gill

22 Jan
The above image called “The Crucifixion” and was created by Eric Gill. It is from Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups by Ned Bustard.

23 When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they divided his clothes among the four of them. They also took his robe, but it was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. 24 So they said, “Rather than tearing it apart, let’s throw dice for it.” This fulfilled the Scripture that says, “They divided my garments among themselves and threw dice for my clothing.” So that is what they did.

25 Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” 27 And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.

28 Jesus knew that his mission was now finished, and to fulfill Scripture he said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of sour wine was sitting there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put it on a hyssop branch, and held it up to his lips. 30 When Jesus had tasted it, he said, “It is finished!” Then he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

John 19:23-30 (NLT)

Dear God, as I sat down to look at this image this morning, even before reading the passage from John, I noticed something interesting. I noticed the circles around some of the characters’ heads–indicating they were saints, sanctified, or holy. One was Jesus. Two were obviously women (bottom of cross to the right). One was a man. At first I thought this might be the thief whom Jesus assured would be in paradise, but the face is clean and looking up–not dying. No, this is apparently John, the disciple whom Jesus loved. There is a fifth circle for the person on their knees to the left of the cross. It kind of looks like a woman, but I cannot be sure. Again, after reading the passage, I assume it is one of the other two Mary’s or Jesus’s mother Mary’s sister.

Other things I noticed that the artist, Eric Gill, chose to share with us (side note–I just looked up the artist for a link to share here and found that he apparently sexually abused his daughters. Completely heinous! But does it inform the art a little in that, while he allowed Jesus some modesty, he showed one of the thieves completely naked?): He portrays Jesus’s feet separately and not nailed together–I wonder why. He shows women and men who aren’t sanctified–no circles. I understand the man could represent the Pharisees, but who are the two women in front on John (in Gill’s mind). Who do they represent? It’s a reminder to me that it was likely both men and women who were glad to see Jesus die.

I confess, Father, that I know I would have been one of them had I been there at the time. I would not have believed. I don’t know that I’d have followed all of the way to the cross, but when I heard that the troublemaker, Jesus, had died I would have been happy. I am a fool, but knowing this about myself and how much I still love you gives me mercy for the non-sanctified people in the picture. I am sure you have mercy for them too. How do I know? Because Jesus asked you to. He did that so that every head in that picture would have a circle around it. So I join him in asking that you forgive me for what I am doing. Please allow for my foolishness and sinfulness in your plan.

In Jesus’s name, his wonderful, merciful, powerful, glorious name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2022 in John, Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups

 

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