RSS

Lent

06 Mar

Dear God, I grew up Baptist and I’m not sure I had even heard of Lent until I met my formerly-Episcopalian wife. I knew about Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday, but I had no knowledge of its relationship to Ash Wednesday, or even that Ash Wednesday existed. So here I am this year. I learn a little more each year. You reveal a little more to me each year. I gave up something for Lent and started observing it five days ago. But I guess it really wasn’t until church this morning, after we did the Gospel reading of Jesus in the wilderness for 40 days, that I really started to think about what this year’s Lent means to me. It was more about discipline and ritual. Now, I want to think through how it can be worship, sacrifice, empathy, and appreciation.

The thing I chose to give up, in a lot of ways, is a staple in my life. I’ll confess now that I considered a couple of different things that I ultimately deemed too difficult to pass up for the next six and a half weeks. Maybe that’s weak. Maybe I should have given one of them up. But the thing I chose is certainly changing my habits. It’s causing me to make conscious decisions. Maybe that’s the point. It’s as much about the sacrifice coming to mind, and then that sacrifice reminding me to worship, empathize, appreciate, and pray. But I think that has been missing the last few days.

So what do I want to pray about when this sacrifice comes to mind? What do I want brought to mind? Obviously, there are broken family relationships that are always on my heart. I spent a lot of time in church this morning praying for a couple facing some difficult, if not grave, health challenges. I learned that one of our priests is leaving to go home to Nigeria at the end of the month. I definitely need to pray for him. Then there is Ukraine and Russia. I confess that I care about that, but maybe not enough. We’ve sent money to an agency that is helping. I’ve prayed. I’ve watched news. But, well, I don’t know that the knowledge of it has disrupted my life very much. At least I know better than to complain about high gasoline prices. THAT is nothing compared with the fear, sorrow, and tragedy millions of people are experiencing right now.

I guess I want to include my work as part of all of this as well. And the role I play in our community. You have not only given me responsibilities over our organization but also influence with others. But I guess the big one is more worship. More worship of you. More time with you. More prayer. More repenting. More pleading for others.

Father, I will end this prayer with a prayer that take me where I need to start: I confess to Almighty God, and to the people reading this prayer, that I have greatly sinned. In my thoughts and in my words. In what I have done, and what I have failed to do. Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore I asked blessed Mary, all the angels and the saints, and you my brothers and sisters to pray for me to the Lord, our God. I am sorry, Father. Thank you for your mercy.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 6, 2022 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Tags:

“So You Wanna Go Back To Egypt” by Keith Green

04 Mar

Dear God, we’ve learned nothing. I’ve learned nothing. Okay, I’ve learned a little, but just a little. I still grumble. I still complain. I’m so sorry.

But lest I skip the clever lyrics to this song, here they are:

“So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt”

So you wanna go back to Egypt
Where it’s warm and secure
Are sorry you bought the one way ticket
When you thought you were sure
You wanted to live in the land of promise
But now it’s getting so hard
Are you sorry you’re out here in the desert
Instead of your own back yard

Eating leaks and onions by the Nile
Ooh what breath for dining out in style
Ooh, my life’s on the skids
Building the pyramids

Well there’s nothing do but travel
And we sure travel a lot
‘Cause it’s hard to keep your feet from moving
When the sand gets so hot
And in the morning it’s manna hotcakes
We snack on manna all day
And we sure had a winner last night for dinner
Flaming manna souffle

Well we once complained for something new to munch
The ground opened up and had some of us for lunch
Ooh, such fire and smoke
Can’t God even take a joke? Huh? NO!

So you wanna to back to Egypt
Where your friends wait for you
You can throw a big party and tell the whole gang
Of what they said was all true
And this Moses acts like a big shot
Who does he think he is?
Well it’s true that God works lots of miracles
But Moses thinks they’re all his

Oh we’re having so much trouble even now
Why’d he get so mad about that c-c-c-cow (that golded calf)
Moses seems rather idle
He just sits around, he just sits around and writes the Bible!

Oh, Moses, put down your pen!
What? Oh no, manna again?

Oh, manna waffles
Manna burgers
Manna bagels
Fillet of manna
Manna patty
BaManna bread!

By Keith & Melody Green

Oh how I used to look down on the Israelites in the Old Testament. What was their problem? Why did they keep disobeying you? Couldn’t they see everything you had done for them? The miracles? Why did they lose their faith? Then I got old enough to recognize the exact same patterns in myself. I am certainly no better. In fact, maybe I’m worse. They were one of hundreds of thousands of Israelites. I am just one of millions of Christians, but at least I have a Bible to teach me. All they had was Moses and the edicts you gave through him.

It’s interesting how Keith and Melody Green capture the Moses resentment in this song. I was looking at Numbers 12 yesterday and reminded of how Miriam and Aaron rebelled against Moses and started by criticizing the wife he chose–presumably Zipporah. But I think there were probably other resentments too. Kind of a “Who made you the boss of me?” situation.

I don’t know where I’m going with all of this except to say that there are certainly things in my life that do not please me right now. There are aspects that I’m unhappy with. However, I feel like you are slowly growing me and stretching me to the point where I am trusting you more and more. I believe you have a destination in mind for me and those I love. I believe it will be good and part of your plan. I just don’t know the road that leads there. I might not survive until they have completed it. I might never know how it happened. That’s okay. I trust you.

I’m going to close with the chorus of a Twila Paris song called “Do I Trust You:” Do I trust you, Lord? Does the river flow? Do I trust you, Lord? Does the north wind blow? You can see my heart. You can read my mind. And you’ve got to know I would rather die than to lose my faith in the one I love. Do I trust you, Lord? Do I trust you?” Yes, Father, I trust you. Help my distrust. I believe. Help my unbelief.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 4, 2022 in Hymns and Songs, Numbers

 

Tags: , , , ,

Psalm 73:25-26

01 Mar

Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

Psalm 73:25-26

Dear God, there is amazing truth in these two verses. I mean, really, in heaven or on earth, whom have I but you? I’ve talked over the last couple of years about the idols in my life. My dependence upon the government and its provision, the military and its protection, my job and it stability, my bank account and its adequacy, my wife and her presence, or even my own health, as the psalmist says here–these are all idols I have in my life. Frankly, I’m not exactly sure how to completely purge them except to continuously acknowledge and confess to you that I know they are there and I don’t want them to be. I shutter to think of what it would be like if any or all of them were removed from my life.

Of course, I’m thinking about the people in Ukraine right now and how none of these things are available to them. Their government and military are not predictable. Their jobs. Their money. Their loved ones. Their own health. All of it is in jeopardy. Whom have they but you?

Father, please move in the world. Make this pain count. Protect people as they try to live their lives. Use this to draw us closer to you and unite us to each other. Help us each, especially those who call on you, to examine our own hearts and repent of the things we have pursued and of which we made idols. For my part, I worship you. I will work as unto you today. Live and be glorified in and through me.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 1, 2022 in Psalms

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

28 Feb

1For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Dear God, Ukraine is still on my heart this morning. I checked the news when I woke up to see if there was any word on the talks between its president and Russia happening today. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be any of the participants. I even get the feeling that those on the Russian side don’t want to be there or doing this. Their hearts aren’t totally in this. That could just be our own media’s propaganda influencing my opinion, and maybe it’s totally wrong. I only know what I’m told.

I do think it is safe to say, however, that the Europeans decided that, much to their dismay, this is not a time for peace. If they appease like the European nations did years ago, they will find themselves backed into a corner by a vicious man who has no qualms about what time it is. I don’t think he ever thinks it is a time for peace.

In my own life, this passage means something too. There are broken relationships in my life. I’m doing my best to know when it is time to embrace and when it is time to turn away. I am always longing for embrace, but I cannot do it at any cost. Like the European countries right now, lines do eventually have to be drawn. I hate it. I know they hate it. I just hope this time doesn’t last too much longer. I know they do too.

Father, thank you for Solomon’s words here. Thank you that The Byrds elevated these words into our society’s collective conscience so that I even thought of it this morning as I wrestled with my thoughts about both Ukraine and my own life. Guide me in your wisdom and mercy. Bring about the embracing as soon as you can.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 28, 2022 in Ecclesiastes

 

1 John 4:9

26 Feb

God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him.

1 John 4:9

Dear God, I don’t want to talk as much about the words of this passage as much as I want to talk about the journey John took after he met Jesus. He went from being one of the sons of thunder to always talking about love. Some of his highlights (lowlights?) were asking to be elevated above the other disciples and wanting to cast down fire on the Samaritans for denying Jesus a place to stay on their way to Jerusalem. Yet, he was there at the foot of the cross in everyone’s darkest hour. He was there at Pentecost. He wrote the story of Jesus’s life on earth and humbly told negative stories about himself. And he implored us (including me 2,000 years later) to love as you love.

I think about my own journey and how you are growing and stretching me. I think about my wife and children in the same way. The journey never looks like I dreamed or hoped it would look–especially for my children. But I’m sure mine hasn’t looked like my parents hoped it would. But the journey is what you use to grow us. Amy Grant had a song from the early 80s called “In a Little While.” There’s a line in there that says, “We’re just here to learn to love Him.” The good news is, I think I am learning and growing. I’m different than I was even six months ago. But I am also aware enough to know I have a long, long way to go.

Father, get me to the destination to which you took John. Get me to an extreme level of knowing and understanding your love and then extending it to others. Let that love motivate me. Let it drive my love and actions for my family. Let it drive me in my work and friendships. Let it drive me in my worship of you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 26, 2022 in 1 John

 

Ukraine

24 Feb

Dear God, I’m sorry I haven’t prayed about this more (or at all). I’ve thought about it. I’ve worried about it a little. But I haven’t educated myself on it, followed it, or allowed it to touch my heart. But I read this morning that Russia started invading Ukraine, and my first thoughts were of the people living there who are terrified right now. From their military to government officials, to just people like me wondering if they will be able to protect their families, provide for their families, and sustain life. Will those that worship you still be able to do that with freedom? There is so much, and their pain has not touched me until now. In fact, the magnitude of this situation is still not really touching me.

I saw that commodities prices were jumping and it made me wonder if Americans’ biggest complaint in this invasion is that we are having to pay more for gasoline. Our priorities can be so out of whack–and I’m including myself in that statement.

Father, my government is not my idol. The economy is not my idol. While those two statements are mostly true, I confess to you right now that they are not entirely true. I do put some of my faith in my bank account, our military’s ability to protect me, and my job to provide for me. I am sorry for that. Please move in Ukraine and Russia. Give leaders everywhere, including Putin and Biden…well, let me just ask that you would guide this whole situation to work out for your glory. Make this pain count. Protect your children. Use this to draw all of us closer to you. I know that many in western countries will use this as an excuse to become more partisan. I don’t know if even you can stop that from happening, but my prayer is that, ultimately, this will all work out so that you will will be done and your kingdom will come on earth as it is in heaven.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 24, 2022 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

1 John 4:17

22 Feb

And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.
1 John 4:17

Dear God, I think I’ll be scared on the day of judgment regardless. My wife and I were praying together last night. It was her turn and afterwards she apologized for not having a better, more focused prayer. I replied that, on a scale of 1-10, our best prayers are probably a 2, so a 1.8 prayer is just about as good. Taking that logic, if on my best, most faithful, worshipful day, my love is a 2 or 3… well, let’s just say it will be all about your mercy that day and not about how great my love was.

With that being said, certainly, the better I love here the more peaceful my life is. I was talking to someone yesterday about the current problems in the world. I spoke to her the words I once heard Rich Mullins say in concert: “The world’s going to go the way the world’s going to go. So keep yourself pure and love everyone you can.” I can’t make an idol out of everything having to be the way I want it to be. I just have to submit to you and love. That’s all I really have anyway.

Father, all of this is fleeting. Our lives are like a vapor and I will eventually die and the memory of me and my life will fade. That’s okay. It will happen to all of us. On that day, all I ask is another question Rich Mullins asked in one of his songs: “Can I be with you? Can I be with you?”

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 22, 2022 in 1 John

 

1 John 4:7-8

19 Feb

7 Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. 8 But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

1 John 4:7-8

Dear God, when I was young and going to our local Baptist church, I learned this little Bible song:

Beloved, let us love one another. For love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love. Beloved, let us love one another. First John four, seven and eight.

This reminds me of going back to my old standard from Galatians 5–the fruits of the Spirit. It starts with “love.” I usually focus on “peace” as an important litmus test as to how I am doing with you, but I suppose it does all, truly, start with “love.”

The biggest revelation of your love for me came when I had children. The following passage from Matthew 7 took on a whole new meaning for me:

9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.

What I found fascinating about parenthood was how ready I was to forgive mistakes they would make. It was super easy. I loved them so much. Even now, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for either of them if I thought it was good for them and what they needed. I am totally there even though they are grown and there has been hurt experienced on both sides.

So if you love me that much more than I love my own children, how much, then, am I supposed to love and care about others? How much more am I supposed to do for the world on your behalf? And how do I keep from getting outside of your will, but pursuing only those avenues that are ordained and blessed by you?

Father, fill me with your love. Let it start with my wife, then my children and their significant others, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. Let it go to my friends and community. Help me to hear your still, small voice when I am in need of direction, correction, encouragement, and love. Help me to completely experience your love so that I can channel it into your world.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 19, 2022 in 1 John

 

Exodus 32:3-4

16 Feb

3 All the people took the gold rings from their ears and brought them to Aaron. 4 Then Aaron took the gold, melted it down, and molded it into the shape of a calf. When the people saw it, they exclaimed, “O Israel, these are the gods who brought you out of the land of Egypt!”

Exodus 32:3-4

Dear God, this morning, I was listening to the Bible in a year podcast I’ve been following and this was part of the reading. I found myself confessing to you that there are things I taken and called them you. There are things in my life that I say are God, but I also attribute them to concrete things I can get my head around and explain for myself.

For example, we’ve had remarkable fundraising success at the nonprofit where I work, and when I visit with our board of directors about it, I am and always have been quick to point out that it is the result of your providence and a lot of prayer on our part. But lately, as I’ve heard about other nonprofits and churches doing well, I’ve also started to add in other explanations to combine with you. Maybe it’s the stock market. Maybe it’s that we are a health clinic and people are more sensitive to our work because of a global pandemic. Maybe this. Maybe that. Well, if you moved through those things, that is great, but I confess to you that I believe you are my provision. And the money in the bank will not be the gold in my ears. I will not take it and form it into something that takes your place or physically represents you. I will not try to understand you and how you work. I will just worship you and thank you for giving us the resources we need to help the people who come to us.

Another example is the idol we make out of government. I have a friend who never cared about politics until six years ago. Then they became enamored with President Trump. Regardless of what anyone thinks about him or his policies, no man is worthy of the adulation she ascribes to him. She travels hundreds of miles to hear him speak. Now, she is into another politician who is running for governor of our state. She went to one of his stump speeches this weekend, and she is thinking about driving 150 miles today to hear him again. At the same time, I’ve talked to her about discipleship in her life and she has no frame of reference for that. I got to thinking about her last night and told my wife, “She seems to want to be inspired.” I would change that this morning to say that she is looking for something/someone to put her faith in.

Father, I am sorry. I am sorry for trying to find anything but you to put my faith in. And now, as I wait for you–as I wait with the Israelites for Moses to come back down the mountain–I will wait patiently to have you answer my prayers. You are my God. Do it whatever way you want to do it and take however long you need to take.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 16, 2022 in Exodus

 

1 Corinthians 15:12-19

13 Feb

12 But tell me this—since we preach that Christ rose from the dead, why are some of you saying there will be no resurrection of the dead? 13 For if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ has not been raised either. 14 And if Christ has not been raised, then all our preaching is useless, and your faith is useless. 15 And we apostles would all be lying about God—for we have said that God raised Christ from the grave. But that can’t be true if there is no resurrection of the dead. 16 And if there is no resurrection of the dead, then Christ has not been raised. 17 And if Christ has not been raised, then your faith is useless and you are still guilty of your sins. 18 In that case, all who have died believing in Christ are lost! 19 And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.

1 Corinthians 15:12-19

Dear God, I still remember a conversation I had with a coworker about 30 years ago that involved this passage. Funny how some things stick with us. I was about 22 at the time and I was telling him how I used to tell campers when I was a counselor that, even if there was no heaven and when we died we died it would still be worth it to be a Christian and follow you because of the joy you give us through relationship with you. He told me I was wrong and quoted this verse at me. And while I think he was technically correct, I don’t think he was correct for the right reason.

Basically, he was saying at the time that it was all about heaven and getting to be with you eternally, and he quoted Paul saying in verse 19 that we are to be the most pitied in all of the world. The difference between us is that I was not proclaiming there is no resurrection of the dead, and I was certainly not saying Jesus hadn’t been resurrected. What I was saying was that if that wasn’t how you designed everything, relationship with you, freedom from our sin, our ability to share your mercy with others, and the process of willingly submitting my plans and how I think the world should be to your will would still be worth it because of the peace and joy that comes with it.

I was talking with a friend on Friday who has a family member who is gravely ill. We talked about how some things in our lives hadn’t worked out how we hoped, but we were willing to yield to the idea that you weren’t letting anything happen that was outside of what you could use in the lives of those we love, our lives, or even for the good of those we don’t know. He asked me, “How do people who don’t believe in God cope?” I answered, “I don’t know.” Some people derisively call Christianity a coping mechanism or a crutch to get through life. That’s not how I see it. Do I lean on you? Yes! Do I find my hope and peace in you? Yes! And to be sure, some people do just use the platitudes of Christianity to live in denial as opposed to living by faith. But for those who have truly learned the letting go that faith leads to, Christianity is not a way of using denial to avoid reality, but an acceptance of reality and the idea that sometimes you are doing things we cannot see and may never see in this life. Frankly, part of my hope in heaven is to get to see all that you are doing that I haven’t been able to see.

Father, I often pray for people going through a struggle that you would make their pain count. I’ve asked that you would make my pain count. I’m willing to go through it, but please don’t waste it. Use it to improve me or anyone who touches the situation. Use it to bring us to repentance, to you, and so that your kingdom will come and your will will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 13, 2022 in 1 Corinthians

 
← Older posts
Newer posts →