19 Saul now urged his servants and his son Jonathan to assassinate David. But Jonathan, because of his strong affection for David, 2 told him what his father was planning. “Tomorrow morning,” he warned him, “you must find a hiding place out in the fields. 3 I’ll ask my father to go out there with me, and I’ll talk to him about you. Then I’ll tell you everything I can find out.”
4 The next morning Jonathan spoke with his father about David, saying many good things about him. “The king must not sin against his servant David,” Jonathan said. “He’s never done anything to harm you. He has always helped you in any way he could. 5 Have you forgotten about the time he risked his life to kill the Philistine giant and how the Lord brought a great victory to all Israel as a result? You were certainly happy about it then. Why should you murder an innocent man like David? There is no reason for it at all!”
6 So Saul listened to Jonathan and vowed, “As surely as the Lord lives, David will not be killed.”
7 Afterward Jonathan called David and told him what had happened. Then he brought David to Saul, and David served in the court as before.
1 Samuel 19:1-7
Dear God, what exactly is my problem? Why am I moping around today? This week? There is so much amazing stuff going on around me. So many things you’ve done to bless me and the work I do. I mean, sure, there is the “Nope cloud” that I’ve talked about before that is always hanging on the horizon. The cause of a constant level of sorrow. But other than that, what exactly is my problem?
I do think that part of it is that I’m tired. I’m always tired this time of year. December and January are the most stressful months for me at work. Not because things are bad, but because there is always so much to do. And there are also so many varied things that need attention. I’m just tired.
I’m relating this to this passage from today’s Old Testament reading because I think the same could be said of Saul. Saul, what exactly is your problem? Jealousy? Insecurity? Things were going very well for him. Why was he so stressed and jealous of David? Because he sensed you had already replaced him as king? Well, fine. Repent, accept your fate and move on. It affects Jonathan more than you anyway, and he seems fine with it (I do love Jonathan).
Father, I am sorry. I’m sorry for…well, I’m just sorry. I’m sorry for not celebrating with you more. I’m sorry for succumbing to the weight of the responsibilities on me instead of laying them at your cross and letting you carry my burden. I’m sorry I’ve tried to do this stuff myself. Make me the leader you need me to be. More importantly, make me the worshipper you need me to be. Make me a sharer of your joy. A sharer of your love and mercy. A sharer of your grace.
I pray all of this through the grace given to me by Jesus,
Dear God, this morning during our staff prayer time, I talked to the staff about the man I prayed to you about yesterday, Dennis Parker. He is a recovering alcoholic who really offers something beautiful to the world through his relationship with you as expressed through both his music and his life. As we talked and prayed, I felt compelled to pray about the people we would encounter today who might really need us.
Then, after lunch, we had a patient in need. For privacy reasons, I cannot write much of what happened with him here, but suffice it to say he had some serious issues, including addiction, and we were able to help get him towards some resources that might be able to help him. The whole time we were dealing with him I was thinking about Dennis and his story.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I want to really pray for this man right now. I want him to have amazing healing. He has a violent past. I pray that you will heal him from that. He has difficult addictions. Please heal him. He has a huge need for you, God. He simply needs you. Please help him find you. Oh, how I long for him to be an amazing story. I know there are people in the community who are afraid of him. Help him to become a backbone of the community. Help others to marvel at the transformation in him and see you and your power. Draw other people to yourself through his life. Oh, Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, please don’t let his pain be wasted. Make it count. Make it count for him. Make it count for your kingdom to come and your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. For your glory, Lord. For your glory alone. And for the staff who helped him today. For everyone still helping him. Please touch them and bless them. Use this to draw all of us closer to you as well.
“Nothing But The Blood Of Jesus” performed by Dennis Parker (featuring Charley Woods)
1 What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Refrain: O precious is the flow that makes me white as snow; no other fount I know; nothing but the blood of Jesus.
2 For my pardon this I see: nothing but the blood of Jesus. For my cleansing this my plea: nothing but the blood of Jesus. [Refrain]
3 Nothing can for sin atone: nothing but the blood of Jesus. Naught of good that I have done: nothing but the blood of Jesus. [Refrain]
4 This is all my hope and peace: nothing but the blood of Jesus. This is all my righteousness: nothing but the blood of Jesus. [Refrain]
Dear God, I discovered a new artist this past weekend at the men’s retreat. Dennis Parker is amazing. There were some incredibly talented Nashville musicians at the retreat this weekend, and one of two of them might have had a little more technical ability (although I’m not sure of that because he was great), but I was mesmerized by his performance, his spirit, and his story. I won’t go into his story because it is his to tell, but here’s a link for anyone reading this who is interested:
With that said, I found some YouTube videos of him performing, and I came across this great hymn, so I thought I would just sing it to you this morning.
What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my pardon, this I see nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my cleaning, this my plea nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Nothing can for sin atone but the blood of Jesus.
Naught of good that I have done but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my hope and peace: nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my righteousness: nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, thank you for this flow that makes me white as snow. There is no other fount I know–nothing but the blood of Jesus. I worship you, my Triune God.
I offer this prayer to you through the power of the blood of Jesus,
Dear God, I prayed a couple of days ago about what you might have for me on this retreat. Now, it’s the last morning, and I think I’ve heard you. The word has been lament. I’ve described my life to others lately as largely good with this tremendous cloud of sorrow that is constantly on the horizon. And it’s amazing how the 90% that’s good can be impacted by the 10% that is incredibly sad, but it’s real and it’s there.
I listened to two different episodes of the Voxology Podcast that I downloaded before I came on the trip. They turned out to be divine appointments. The first episode was titled “The God Who Disappoints Everyone,” and the follow-up episode was called “The Only Way Out is Through.” The first episode talked about the myriad of biblical characters who had, by worldly standards either disappointing lives or, at best, real sorrows after they received your call for them. Moses was called to lead the people to the Promised Land, but wasn’t allowed to enter. David really wanted to build your Temple, but was denied. Mary certainly had heartache. Paul’s life would have turned out better from a worldly standpoint if he had remained a Pharisee. One point he made was that just about everyone who interacted with Jesus, except for the people who were healed or forgiven of their sin (Samaritan woman, woman caught in adultery, etc.), at some point was disappointed in how things were going. Even Jesus’s closest disciples were disillusioned at one time or another. So my life, although containing sorrow, certainly does not stand out amidst these biblical characters.
The next episode was a follow-up because the first one generated so much response from people. They read a couple of emails from people who were doing everything they knew to do, but they were still not experiencing the “God is good all the time,” “You have the victory in Jesus” life. The title of the podcast was their main message. They talked about being “oriented,” “disoriented,” and “reoriented.” Oriented is knowing and feeling who I am in you. Living it fully. Disoriented is losing that feeling in my heart and soul. I know it, but that knowledge isn’t doing anything for me because I still have sorrow and lament. Reoriented is the person who has been through the disorientation and come through the other side. Their advice was for the disoriented person to find an oriented or, preferably, a reoriented person to walk with you through the darkness. Mike talked about the Prince Caspian book from the Chronicles of Narnia series and how the youngest child, Lucy, was the one who could see Aslan while they were walking in a scary and confusing place. The others followed her, trusting she could see Aslan until they were ultimately able to see him for themselves. So Mike’s suggestion was to find someone who can see Jesus from where they are and follow them, putting your trust that Jesus is there, the Holy Spirit is there, you, the Father, are there, and keep following them to you until they themselves can see you.
I’m not saying I’m in a place where I can’t see you. I’ve certainly been there before, but I’m not there now. But I do have this ache and this lament that penetrates my soul. It hurts. It brings tears to my eyes, even as I type these words. And there are times when it doesn’t feel okay. But that is why community is important. In those moments, the people you put into my life—my wife, friends, or even podcasters—give my soul rest while I simply move through the forest. There is no helicopter that will get me out of it. The only way out is through.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, thank you for meeting me here this weekend. I consider my life worth nothing to me. I only want to finish the race and complete the task you have given to me. The task of testifying to your grace.
I offer this prayer to you in the name of Jesus, my Lord,
Dear God, I’m at a men’s retreat with my dad and brother-in-law (and about 50 other men), and I’m trying to be very present in it. I want to know if there is anything you have for me out of this weekend.
I took a bike ride yesterday when I first got here.
As I sat at the top of “Circle Bluff” for almost an hour and tried to be present in worshipping you, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to, basically, clear my head of anything I think might be on the agenda for the week and just enter your presence. So that’s what I’m going to do.
The speaker this weekend is just going to talk about Philippians. I think he is going to give us an overview of all four chapters in four different sessions. I’m excited about just getting some Bible teaching. I hear sermons, but I don’t often just get straight Bible teaching from an educated expert. I think I’m going to enjoy that. As I think about it, I probably should have brought a pad and paper for notes. Maybe I’ll take this keyboard and my phone and sit in the back at a table and type up my thoughts as he speaks.
One thing I also found last night was that I spoke to some men who just seemed to need to talk. One lost his 99-year-old mother about three weeks ago. Another lost a father a couple of years ago who had lived with him for the last 14 years of his life. I felt like you were using me just to listen as I visited with both of them. So I hope I can be that for people too, including my dad and brother-in-law. And if there’s anything I need to share and there is someone out there you have provided to be your ears for me, help me to discerningly find them.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, help me to enter into your presence. Help me to be your hands and feet. Help me to worship you and then love others this weekend. And give me this weekend what you have for me so that I might be the man you need me to be in the world where you have planted me.
Mary, you’re covered in roses You’re covered in ashes You’re covered in rain You’re covered in babies Covered in slashes Covered in wilderness Covered in stains
You cast aside the sheets You cast aside the shroud Of another man who served the world proud You greet another son You lose another one On some sunny day And always you stay Mary
Jesus said, “Mother, I couldn’t stay another day longer.” He flies right by and leaves A kiss upon her face While the angels were singing His praised in a blaze of glory Mary stays behind and starts Cleaning up the place
Oh Mary, she moves behind me She leaves her fingerprints everywhere Every time the snow drifts Every way the sand shifts Even when the night lifts She’s always there
Jesus said, “Mother, I couldn’t stay another day longer.” He flies right by and leaves A kiss upon her face While the angels were singing His praises in a blaze of glory Mary stays behind and starts Cleaning up the place
Oh, Mary, you’re covered in roses You’re covered in ruins You’re covered in secrets You’re covered in treetops Covered in birds Who can sing a million songs Without any words
You cast aside the sheets You cast aside the shroud Of another man who served the world proud You grieve another son You lose another one On some sunny day And always you stay Mary
Dear God, I have tears in my eyes as I write this to you. My wife introduced this song to me recently, and I’ve had it going in my head ever since I heard it as I arrived at this retreat yesterday.
Mary is a complicated figure in Christendom. Satan has used her beautiful life to divide a lot of Christians over the last 500 years. But there are some things that are simply undeniable about her. One of them is this image of her dealing with the ascension of Jesus. Acts 1:14 tells us that she was among the disciples when they returned from the ascension. I wonder what her interactions with Jesus were like for those 40 days between the resurrection and the ascension. Joyous? Sorrowful? Bitter/sweet?
I know Mary as mother is a huge inspiration to some women. And as I’ve gotten an up-close look at Catholicism over the last 13 years, I’ve learned a lot about the Catholic theology about Mary—and it’s not as scary as I expected it to be as a boy raised in a Southern Baptist Church. If there is a cloud of witnesses, then she is among them. She’s not granting prayers, but she is joining us in prayer. She is caring about our prayers. I can accept that.
The second verse of this song really speaks to me:
Oh Mary, she moves behind me She leaves her fingerprints everywhere Every time the snow drifts Every way the sand shifts Even when the night lifts She’s always there
I’ve seen mothers who have experienced great sorrow receive a lot of comfort as they feel Mary’s empathy—maybe in a way that even you, God, never experienced. That’s probably too far. I’m sure that with the completion of Jesus’s earthly life and your own experiences there is absolutely nothing you cannot empathize with, but I can certainly see why women would find a special kinship with this woman. Motherhood can bring every emotion. From great joy to great sorrow. Sometimes it’s nice to know there’s a woman in heavenly places who knows how these women feel. Mary certainly was not spared any joys or sorrows.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, you know what’s currently on my heart. Things I cannot say publicly for the privacy of others. But you know. Oh, please be in these thoughts and prayers. Please move. Please grant them. If it is your will, Father, please, please grant them. The tears are here again. Oh, Father, please grant this prayer.
I offer this to you through the power of Jesus’s conception, birth, life, death, and resurrection, all of which Mary was a witness,
As Samuel grew up, the Lord was with him, and everything Samuel said proved to be reliable. And all Israel, from Dan in the north to Beersheba in the south, knew that Samuel was confirmed as a prophet of the Lord. The Lord continued to appear at Shiloh and gave messages to Samuel there at the Tabernacle. And Samuel’s words went out to all the people of Israel.
At that time Israel was at war with the Philistines. The Israelite army was camped near Ebenezer, and the Philistines were at Aphek. The Philistines attacked and defeated the army of Israel, killing 4,000 men. After the battle was over, the troops retreated to their camp, and the elders of Israel asked, “Why did the Lord allow us to be defeated by the Philistines?” Then they said, “Let’s bring the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord from Shiloh. If we carry it into battle with us, it will save us from our enemies.” So they sent men to Shiloh to bring the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, who is enthroned between the cherubim. Hophni and Phinehas, the sons of Eli, were also there with the Ark of the Covenant of God. When all the Israelites saw the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord coming into the camp, their shout of joy was so loud it made the ground shake! “What’s going on?” the Philistines asked. “What’s all the shouting about in the Hebrew camp?” When they were told it was because the Ark of the Lord had arrived, they panicked. “The gods have come into their camp!” they cried. “This is a disaster! We have never had to face anything like this before! Help! Who can save us from these mighty gods of Israel? They are the same gods who destroyed the Egyptians with plagues when Israel was in the wilderness. Fight as never before, Philistines! If you don’t, we will become the Hebrews’ slaves just as they have been ours! Stand up like men and fight!” So the Philistines fought desperately, and Israel was defeated again. The slaughter was great; 30,000 Israelite soldiers died that day. The survivors turned and fled to their tents. The Ark of God was captured, and Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were killed. 1 Samuel 3:19-4:11
Dear God, when I read this passage this morning I had two thoughts. First, did Hophni and Phinehas really think they had you going with them as they walked with the Ark of the Covenant? Did they think they owned you? Did they think they could act like they were acting (1 Samuel 2:12-22) and then boldly carry you into their battle? How dare they? Then, my judgmental heart started thinking about the people I think do that. They honor you with their lips but their hearts are far from you (Matthew 15:8). Do they really thinkin they are carrying you into their battles with them? Do they think just because they name you as their god (little “g” intended) they can then expect you to serve them? How dare they? That’s when your Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “You might want to ask yourself if you ever do that? In fact, have you done that this week? Where has your priority been in spending time with me this week? Are you just expecting me to do what you want, or are you serving me and worshipping me?” So I sit here this morning convicted. Thank you for that conviction.
The other thought I had was the perspective of the Philistines. If they had lost that battle they might have been able to justify the loss. But the way things turned out in 1 Samuel 5 and 6, you left no doubt that you were the God. And instead of turning to you and worshipping you–which would have been an option–they decided they didn’t want any part of you.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I sit here this morning sorry for not spending more time with you this week. I mean, yes, I did little things here and there, but I didn’t completely submit my heart to you. Help me to do that now. Help me, oh Triune God to be the man you need me to be today. Love through me. Lead through me. Serve through me. Most importantly, draw others to yourself through me.
Dear God, I just attended a lovely worship service on the evening of Sunday June 7. It was organized and led by two young women who attend a Catholic college in Ohio, and they gave it to (I could have said “led it for,” but it felt more like a gift) the church before they head back to school.
Since today kind of marks the end of the Christmas season with the recognition of Epiphany (the wise men), they had a bit of a Christmas season focus for the songs and readings, although they weren’t specifically about Christmas itself. But the thought I had during the service was that I needed it more than I realized. I have had a really good and special Christmas season this year. I was able to really meditate on the Incarnation of Jesus and internalize the beauty of your gift to us. What I was lacking, however, was closure on the season. It was just kind of fizzling out. It’s January 7. What’s next?
But today was a good day. I heard a good sermon my Andy Stanley that challenged me to think a little. Then I helped my wife take down our Christmas decorations and return the house to its normal state. And finally I attended this service. It was really good closure.
So as I sat in that church tonight, sang the songs, and prayed to you, I thought about a lot of things. Most important were a couple who is facing a huge health crisis for the wife and had to go to the hospital. They were going to come to the service, but the ER visit got in the way. I prayed for them a lot. Then there was just worshipping you. Appreciating you. Marveling at you. And I was also really appreciating these two young women and hoping great things for them. Not great as in they will increase and you will decrease, but that the fruits of your Spirit will grow powerfully through them.
I guess I’ll close with some of the words to one of the songs they sang for us. The song is called “Humble.”
Humble and human, willing to bend You are Fashioned of flesh and the fire of life, You are Not too proud to wear our skin To know this weary world we’re in Humble, humble Jesus Yeah eh eh
Humble in sorrow, You gladly carried Your cross Never refusing Your life to the weakest of us Not too proud to bear our sin To feel this brokenness we’re in Humble, oh oh humble Jesus
We bow our knees (We bow our knees) We must decrease (We must decrease) You must increase (You must increase) We lift You high
Humble in greatness, born in the likeness of man Name above all names, holding our world in Your hands Oh oh oh, not too proud to dwell with us, to live in us, to die for us Humble, humble Jesus
We bow our knees (We bow our knees) We must decrease (We must decrease) You must increase (You must increase) We lift You high We bow our knees oh oh (We bow our knees) We must decrease (We must decrease) And You must increase (You must increase) We lift You high
We lift You high We lift You high We lift You high We lift You high We lift You high We lift You high yeah We lift You high
Humble You are humble Make me humble Like you We lift You high
Father, make that my final prayer as I move out of the Christmas season and into the rest of the year. May I decrease and you increase. Let me model what you modeled: humble.
I pray all of this in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, my Triune God,
37 Then Jesus uttered another loud cry and breathed his last. 38 And the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.
39 When the Roman officer who stood facing him saw how he had died, he exclaimed, “This man truly was the Son of God!”
40 Some women were there, watching from a distance, including Mary Magdalene, Mary (the mother of James the younger and of Joseph), and Salome. 41 They had been followers of Jesus and had cared for him while he was in Galilee. Many other women who had come with him to Jerusalem were also there.
42 This all happened on Friday, the day of preparation, the day before the Sabbath. As evening approached, 43 Joseph of Arimathea took a risk and went to Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body. (Joseph was an honored member of the high council, and he was waiting for the Kingdom of God to come.) 44 Pilate couldn’t believe that Jesus was already dead, so he called for the Roman officer and asked if he had died yet. 45 The officer confirmed that Jesus was dead, so Pilate told Joseph he could have the body. 46 Joseph bought a long sheet of linen cloth. Then he took Jesus’ body down from the cross, wrapped it in the cloth, and laid it in a tomb that had been carved out of the rock. Then he rolled a stone in front of the entrance. 47 Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joseph saw where Jesus’ body was laid.
Mark 15:37-47
Dear God, the moments after Jesus’s death are some of the most precious to me because they represent the depths of misunderstanding and lostness for his followers and family, and the wicked delight of those who were threatened by him and killed him. Regarding Caiaphas and those with him, I wonder what the Passover was like for him over the next 24-36 hours. Did he feel convicted over what he had done? Was he afraid of what Jesus’s followers would do (as represented by him asking for guards for the tomb)? Or was it a time of celebration and calculated caution? I don’t know. I do know how Judas felt–guilt to the point of suicide.
What I do know is that the followers and Mary were devastated. Disillusioned, even. This wasn’t what they had dreamed of. This wasn’t what they thought about. Where was the kingdom James and John aspired to help Jesus rule from his right and his left (Mark 10:35-45)? Where was the power? Why was Rome still in charge? What would their standing now be in the church.
With that, I want to look at Rembrandt’s image and see what details he thought about as he pondered this story:
Someone is preparing a stretcher on which they can carry his body to the tomb.
It looks like they used a sheet to lower Jesus from the cross with someone on the ladder and someone catching him below. The person on the ladder almost looks like a woman with no facial hair and long hair, but I can’t be sure. After reading John’s account, I would think this is Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus (John 19:38-42), but I think Rembrandt had another picture of this.
The person on the far right of the image has a special hat so I am assuming this is a Pharisee. Perhaps Caiaphas.
There is someone down below the man holding Jesus to the right. It looks like he is ready to help should the man holding Jesus lose his balance.
There are faint images of others behind the man preparing the stretcher. I assume these are just onlookers.
There is the man holding the torch. This is a unique thought. I don’t think anyone ever thought about the need for light. I would actually assume it wasn’t dark yet because they had to get the body down before sundown for the Passover (that’s why the broke the legs of the other two and put a spear into Jesus’s side (John 19:31-34), but because the Sun wasn’t down yet doesn’t mean they didn’t need a little more light.
Now here’s the big one I noticed this morning that I’ve never thought of: The man on the other side of the cross from the man with the torch. He’s on the very edge of the image, and he’s holding a hammer. That’s when I looked to see that one of Jesus’s feet is still nailed to the cross and the man with the hammer is banging it out from the other side. Perhaps one of the feet tore off of the spike as they removed him, but they couldn’t get the other one off without banging it out. I had never thought about removing the spikes before, but Rembrandt must have as he pictured this image in his mind.
Here is the commentary Bustard gave for this scene and story:
One single torch illuminates the extinguished Light of the World. Joseph of Arimathea lays out a white shroud as others struggle to remove Christ’s broken body from the Cross, while one figure still reaches out towards the Savior: But he is not alone. What at first seems to be a very lonely scene upon further inspection fills with a crowd of onlookers and mourners. All their hope is lost for the present, but joy will come on Sunday morning. “We are told that Christ was killed for us, that his death has washed out our sins, and that by dying he disabled death itself. That is the formula. That is Christianity. That is what has to be believed.” –C.S. Lewis.
The only thing I would add to Bustard’s description is that their “hope” and expectation was wrong. They wanted the wrong thing. They wanted what you didn’t want. And you knew better than to give them what they wanted.
Father, you know better than to give me what I want too. I was thinking earlier today about some regrets I have–especially as a parent. There is one decision I made that was the best one I knew to make at the time and was done with an earnest heart, but I would love to change it and have gone down another road. But I started wondering what the unintended consequences of that would have been. As much as I don’t like some of my current circumstances, would the alternative have been even worse? There is obviously no way for me to know this, but that’s where I have to not look back or even forward, but keep myself in this moment. This moment is my reality, and this moment is the one that interfaces with you. Not the past. Not the future. So I offer this moment to you. I worship you. I give you my heart and ask that you would redeem the mistakes I’ve made. Heal those harmed by them, including myself. Let your life and fruit live in and grow out of me.
I pray all of this in your holy, Triune name: The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,
6 What can we bring to the Lord? Should we bring him burnt offerings? Should we bow before God Most High with offerings of yearling calves? 7 Should we offer him thousands of rams and ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Should we sacrifice our firstborn children to pay for our sins?
8 No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:6-8
Dear God, this passage reminds me of what Samuel told Saul after he went ahead with a sacrificial ceremony instead of waiting for Samuel in 1 Samuel 15 :22-23.
22 But Samuel replied,
“What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams. 23 Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the Lord, he has rejected you as king.”
Is it that hard to obey? I was listening to this very faithful young woman talk yesterday about her need to repent, and how she loves how her Presbyterian church has part of each service where she and everyone else, including the pastor gets down on their knees and, to the best of their abilities, repent of their sins. She also teaches young children in Sunday school and she said that one of the children asked her about that part of the church service. She told the child that grown-ups make mistakes too, and all of us need to ask you for forgiveness. I have to admit that I really admire this young woman, and one of my thoughts was, “You sin that often?” But then I thought, “Of course she does. What am I thinking?”
I’m sure some people look at me and think much too highly of me. They might think I am more holy than I am. But you know my heart. You know how selfish and insecure I can be. You know the vices against which I struggle. And you know I try. I don’t just expect to be allowed to sin and then walk back arrogantly claiming the blood of Jesus over them without remorse.
That leads me to addiction. I heard about a young woman today I know who checked herself into a rehab facility yesterday. I have addictions of my own, although, thankfully, they aren’t substances like drugs and alcohol. But food is certainly one. Gossip. Oh, there are all kinds of things I could list.
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I want to first pray for this woman. There is a lot of pain in her heart and life right now. Please help her. Please use this to bring her to yourself. Draw her to yourself. Help this to be her bottom. Use this in the lives of those around her too. Bring her your complete and total healing. And help me, Father, to be exactly who you need me to be. Help me to take the vices in my life and be free of them. Help me to be the man you want me to be. Use me. I think of the song “Spirit of the Living God”: “Break me, melt me, mold me, fill me. Spirit of the Living God, fall afresh on me.”
