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Tag Archives: The Gathering

The Value in Suffering

03 Oct

The son of one of the nouveau riche, Francis of Assisi, was raised as a spoiled and privileged young man. Imprisoned for a year for being on the losing side of a war with a rival city, his friends noticed a change. He found a little abandoned church and spent whole days there praying. He renounced his inheritance and all claims on his family. 

From “The Inconvenient Elder” by Fred Smith

Dear God, I read Fred Smith’s blog this morning and, while this wasn’t the point of his peace at all, something struck me. It was a follow-up thought to a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. Suffering is an important tool that you use to teach us and help us grow.

In Francis’s case, I knew that he had renounced his family’s wealth out of devotion to you, but I didn’t know that his transformation included a year in prison. Apparently, he got arrested being part of a military expedition (prisoner of war?) and this changed his life. In his older life, I’m sure he regretted his participation in the military expedition, but I also wonder if he was ultimately grateful for the fruit of that suffering. It changed his life.

Isn’t it funny? We all know that the only way we grow is through struggle and yet we do everything we can to avoid it personally, and our temptation is to interfere with our children’s lives so that they will avoid it too. I’m as guilty as anyone. Maybe not as much in my personal life, but certainly at work. I like to build a very comfortable, low-stress environment, sometimes at the expense of expanding our services. I talk a good game, but does my reality reflect what I say I believe?

Father, make me sensitive to any action you’re calling me to. Maybe it will mean struggle for me. Maybe you’re calling our nonprofit to grow and serve more, but my fear keeps it small. Maybe I let my ego and desire to get the approval of others keep me from pushing the envelope. I’m sorry. Give me your vision and the courage to follow it. And please bless my path, not for my comfort, but so that others will be served from you working in my life.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Labor of Love” by Fred Smith

25 Jul

“Labor of Love” by Fred Smith

Dear God, every once in a while Fred Smith will write a blog that sparks something in me that I feel like I need to pray through. His post today is one of those times.

I was part of a committee a couple of years ago that always seemed like a waste of time. My criticism of it was that the woman leading it seemed to go out of her way to make it not be an imposition on the members, but in doing so she made it feel more like a waste of time. It felt like I was just killing an hour at the meeting.

The same can be true of a lot of things, and I can be guilty of it as well. One of the problems with our board meetings for the nonprofit where I work is that the board members can feel like they have too little to do. They come and hear book reports about what the staff is doing, either bless it or give some constructive criticism on how it can be better, and then they move on. We’ve worked over the last couple of years to make the meetings more engaging so that everyone feels the joy of their involvement here.

On the other side of the equation, I got a thank you card from a volunteer yesterday. I had sent her a note thanking her for coming to help on a special project and she replied:

Thank you for your kind letter. It is I who should thank you though. Putting tabs on the newsletter was good “therapy” for me–doing something useful, getting me away from Mom’s move to Fredericksburg, and delightful conversation with you and Carol…I am happy to help when I can.

And I know all of this. I know that I get more joy in giving and working than I get from taking and receiving. In fact, I think that it is actually awkward for most of us to receive from others and ask them to do things. That’s probably why we try to make it as easy and convenient as possible.

Father, help me to remember this lesson today. Help me to remember to, first, demand the best of myself. Then help me to lovingly expect the best of the staff and volunteers here at our nonprofit. Help me to continue to lovingly hold my children to a high standard. Keep me from getting in the way of how you are developing them as adults. And help me to spread your joy to all around me so that others might be drawn to you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2019 in Miscellaneous

 

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Mark 12:38-44

09 May

Mark 12:38-44
Jesus also taught: “Beware of these teachers of religious law! For they like to parade around in flowing robes and receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces. And how they love the seats of honor in the synagogues and the head table at banquets. Yet they shamelessly cheat widows out of their property and then pretend to be pious by making long prayers in public. Because of this, they will be more severely punished.” Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins. Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.”

Dear God, I think one of the biggest obstacles for people as we try to read the Bible is the same obstacle we have when we read a text from a friend–tone of voice can be everything. This story about the widow is a great example. I’ve read it countless times. Most Christians are familiar with it. If I say the words “The Widow’s Mite” to a group of Christians, they immediately know what I mean. But how much do we miss in this story?

Several years ago, I had a revelation from you that this widow likely never knew that Jesus saw her faithfulness that day, and she likely went home that day as poor as she was when the day started. She likely died however many years later as poor as she was when she dropped in those coins. There was no monetary reward for her faithfulness. There was provision from you. There was peace. And there was the immortality of me even knowing about her 2,000 years later. But here were no earthly riches for her.

So that’s a pretty good revelation. But then I read Fred Smith’s blog post this morning, and he pointed out another aspect of this story. Because of story headings, chapter breaks, and verses that translators of the Bible have given us so that we can more easily find things, we often make the mistake of separating stories in the middle. This one is an example.

Fred pointed out that Mark tells us two stories back to back. Jesus has just finished a rant about the Pharisees taking from widows (among others) and then he goes over to the offerings and seems to wait for a widow to come by to make his point. Fred mentioned that this widow was giving to the very group that Jesus said had held her down and even taken from her. This add even another layer to this story. How do I keep myself from being a Pharisee that 1.) takes advantage of widows and 2.) doesn’t squander the offerings the give to you?

I’m in a unique position as the director of a nonprofit that takes donations from hundreds of people each year, including some widows. This story is not just a reminder for me to be a giver of my personal resources, but also reminds me to make sure I am being fair to and loving each donor and then using their donations to reach out and help everyone we can.

Father, help me to hear your voice when I read my Bible. Help me to hear your tone of voice in the words. Reveal to me the things I’ve missed over the years. Help me to break away from the erroneous teaching that has been accidentally (or perhaps intentionally) passed down from each preceding generation. Love through me, and help me to decrease so that you will increase. Of course, the ultimate goal for my life is that you will use it however you need to so that you kingdom will come and your will will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 9, 2019 in Mark

 

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Making a Pearl

11 Apr

“Over and Over Again” by Fred Smith

Dear God, I was reading Fred Smith’s blog today, which I normally do on Thursday mornings, and it got me to thinking (as it normally does). I didn’t necessarily go with it where Fred did, but his description of the new information we have about how oysters make pearls got me to thinking about age and experience.

I told someone yesterday at work that my 49th birthday is coming up, and that when the board of directors hired me in 2005 I was 35 years old. Everyone called me a child back then and I took umbrage to that because I felt very mature. I was a father with two children. I had business and nonprofit experience. I had experienced some loss. No, I was mature.

Of course, as I look back on the last 13 years, I realize that there was so much I still had to learn. But the great thing that that experience brings me is also the acceptance that there is so much I still have to learn. Over 13 years later, I have experienced heartache with children, the aging of parents and in-laws (with the loss of an in-law), failures at work, a dark time in my relationship with you when the costs on my part didn’t seem to pay enough dividends, struggles in my marriage,..

To Fred’s point, different foreign bodies/experiences penetrated my world and it has been my job to walk with you and allow those intrusions to turn into something good for not only me, but for the world around me. But now I am old enough to know that I have not arrived. I have a lifetime ahead of me still. And when I am in my 70s, I will still not have arrived. I will still be sifting and taking the intrusions that come and trying to surround them with your Spirit. Hopefully, by the end, the life that others will see will be a pearl that, while people might not remember me, will be remembered through time by the lives that I touched.

Father, two generations of my lineage from now might never know my name or anything about me, but that’s not why I’m living. I am here much like the lineages we read in the Bible, or the centuries of Israelites that were born, lived, and died in slavery in Egypt. My life is about how you use it for your purposes and the opportunity to worship you now and forever. Please walk with me to make it a pearl with which you are pleased.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2019 in Musings and Stories

 

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What makes something precious?

08 Mar

“It was a different kind of impoverishment for men who had found fellowship in commiseration. Their ‘living thing’ with all its quirks, foibles and peculiarities had become a predictable commodity.”
Fred Smith — “A Living Thing“

 

Dear God, I read Fred Smith’s weekly blog this week, and, as is not unusual, I found something in it that I want to chew on with you for a while. It revolves around this quote I pulled from it and pasted above.

It’s interesting to try and ascribe a rationale for what makes something precious to me. Why do I like what I like, love what I love, and do what I do?

I’ve often wondered what it is about the knowledge that there are two individuals out there who are my children, and that knowledge makes them mean something different to me than anyone else in the world. When they were little and performing on stage, my eye almost never left them. Not because they were that different than the other children (although, of course I thought they were the most talented) but because they were mine. I loved them and I wanted them to see what they had to show the world. I think when it comes down to it, there is something in my brain that triggers and says this person is special to me. They are my child. They are my responsibility. I’m sure you buried that down somewhere deep in me–in all of us. And like the Jaguar owners in Fred’s piece, we get to sit around the Sunday school classes, or workplaces, or dinners with friends and commiserate on how hard parenting is.

There are other things that are precious to me. My wife tops the list. In fact, she is in a special place that even my children don’t quite sit in. I chose her (as she chose me). While my children will always be my children, even if we are out of relationship, my wife and I continue to be married by choice. I’ve had the opportunity to watch her perform on stage as well, and I can say that my eye followed her the whole time too, even though she was pretty much used as a prop on the stage. But what makes her precious? I met her when she was 18 and I was 19. We fell in love (only you know why we had a special chemistry that caused that to happen), but we’ve both changed a lot since then. Staying in love and staying together means rooting for the other, even at our own expense. It means giving the other space to struggle and grow. It means dedication.

I don’t know. I don’t know that I’m really coming up with an answer to my question, “What makes something precious?” When I list the things that are precious to me, my first thoughts go to my wife and children, but then they go to my job and the work you’ve given me to do. They go really to my own life and trying to make sure that, as small and insignificant as it might be in the grand scheme of things, it is used to maximize your will being done and your kingdom coming to earth as it is in heaven. And in the spirit of Fred’s piece about his dad and the Jaguar, I have to admit that the little car I bought a year and a half ago is my most precious material possession. I love that little thing. Not because I get to enjoy it with others. In fact, I enjoy it the most when I am by myself, top down, music loud, and the RPMs between 4,000 and 6,000. But I love that car.

Father, I have a lot of work to do today. Help me to identify what is important to do next. Sometimes it will be the thing that is precious. Sometimes it will be the thing that it hard and not enjoyable. And help me to not put any of those precious things before my love and devotion to you.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 

 
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Posted by on March 8, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Never Alone

21 Feb

“A Hand in the Flood” by Fred Smith

Dear God, I read this blog post this morning, and it made me think of the friends for whom I prayed yesterday. Then I thought about the hands that you have put there for me when I was in a desperate flood. Finally, I thought about the people who have contacted me in their own floods. None of us go through this life alone, and no self-made person did it without the generosity of someone else. No one.

Six years ago, I was completely in over my head as a father and husband. I was doing everything I could to make sense of it all. While not the saddest period of my life (that award would have to go to when my wife and I experienced a miscarriage early in our marriage), it was the time when I was the most desperate. I was flailing and looking for any branch or hand onto which I could grab. It broke me in an all new way.

One time when I was going through unemployment in 2005, a friend asked me what I thought you were teaching me through that time. I responded that I didn’t think I would know that until I was able to look back on it in retrospect. The same is trued for the last six years. Looking back, “the flood” seems smaller now than it did then. It’s a little like climbing a hill and looking back on a raging river. It doesn’t look nearly as problematic as it does when you are in the middle of it.

So what is my job today? The first thing I need to do is worship you. Regardless of my circumstances, you are worthy of my worship, and it is good for me to worship you. I did that a little in my prayer time with my wife this morning. Then I need to take each moment as it comes and remember to try to see the people and the situations with your eyes, and when I can’t do that, just try to rest in your assurance that You love us and you care. Finally, I need to either be willing to reach out to that hand that you have positioned to help me, or I need to be ready and willing to be that hand for someone else.

Father, show me what to do today. Keep me mindful of your presence, your power, and the calling you are putting on my life at any given moment. Love through me, and teach me how to receive the love of others.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2019 in Miscellaneous

 

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