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Divorce

12 Jun

Dear God, earlier this week, for whatever reason–I’ll credit it to the Holy Spirit–I started thinking about some old Gary Chapman songs from the 90s. I was really involved in the Christian music industry back then from the sales side so I know some of the artists from that time period that a lot of people wouldn’t remember. I guess it started Monday evening before I went to teach the Bible study for the Christian Men’s Life Skills class. I like to sing a song to put me in the right frame of mind after a busy day at work, and, this last Monday, “Sweet Jesus” is what popped in there and I was singing as I drove to the meeting. Later, I just started listening to the Gary Chapman songs on my phone. I probably have about ten of them. Then yesterday.

I was talking with a friend who is desperately unhappy in their marriage. It was hard to hear. I know if this friend had no financial barriers they’d have probably left the marriage a long time ago. But there are financial barriers. Seemingly significant ones. So we had this difficult talk yesterday. Difficult in that it was hard to hear that much pain from them and know who to be for them. Who YOU needed me to be for them. And who you need me to be for their spouse, whom I love very much as well. And their children, whom I know well and love. Oh, Holy Spirit, what am I to say?

Then last night I had some Gary Chapman music playing, and I decided to see what he is up to now. I got on YouTube and found an interview he did a couple of years ago. He talked about his divorce from Amy Grant back in the late 90s. He talked about his mistakes. He talked about forgiving Amy and her husband Vince Gill. He’s not perfect. He didn’t pretend to be. And Amy and Vince aren’t perfect. I’m sure they don’t pretend to be either. It was just an unfortunate situation that developed into a mess because flawed humans were involved. Maybe it was a mess from the beginning.

So this morning, divorce is heavy on my heart. Not for myself, but for my friend. For my friend’s spouse. For my friend’s children. Now that I think about it, this week actually started on Sunday with the fallout from a divorce of another friend. My wife and I got a text from this friend as they lit up their former spouse and the friend told us they didn’t know how we could be friends with both of them given how evil their ex is. So much pain. So much anger. So much hatred. And Satan delights…

I guess that takes me back to Satan’s Plan A: Division. He wants to divide us as families, churches, businesses, communities, states, nations, and the world. And we just jump into his plan with both feet. There’s just that little thing in us that wants to be God. That wants to be worshipped. That wants it all to go our way, and when there are competing gods there will be conflict. Just look at the Greek myths. I don’t know the stories well, but I don’t think they ever got along.

Father, going back to my original friend from yesterday, I pray that their journey from this day forward will start with you. I pray that unity with you will be their Plan A. They will not find peace, even in divorce, without unity with you. In fact, divorce is really nothing but a source of great pain. And right now they are not only living their lives, but setting an example for their children. So I pray for both of the people in this marriage to completely unite with you. To set their faces to the wind and embrace you. To pursue you. To love you. Of course, I pray that you will then work in their hearts to encourage repentance on both parts and forgiveness, but that won’t come until they are united with you. I just don’t see how it can happen if you aren’t Plan A. Help me to know how to love both of them. Help me to know how to love this friend who is mad at me for continuing to love their ex spouse. And while I’m praying, help me to love you better and my wife better. Help me to be as the title of a Gary Chapman song says, “A Man After Your Own Heart.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2026 in Musings and Stories

 

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Psalm 46

11 Jun

Psalm 46

For the choir director: A song of the descendants of Korah, to be sung by soprano voices.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come
    and the mountains crumble into the sea.
3 Let the oceans roar and foam.
    Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! Interlude

4 A river brings joy to the city of our God,
    the sacred home of the Most High.
5 God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
    From the very break of day, God will protect it.
6 The nations are in chaos,
    and their kingdoms crumble!
God’s voice thunders,
    and the earth melts!
7 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
    the God of Israel is our fortress. Interlude

8 Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
    See how he brings destruction upon the world.
9 He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
    He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
    he burns the shields with fire.

10 “Be still, and know that I am God!
    I will be honored by every nation.
    I will be honored throughout the world.”

11 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
    the God of Israel is our fortress. Interlude

Dear God, I would classify this as a psalm of orientation (as opposed to Brueggemann’s classification of psalms of orientation, disorientation, and reorientation). You are in charge and I trust you. I trust in you. I have no idols. I know who you are. I worship you. My head is clear. I will be still and know that you are God. I will honor you. I will worship you. Thank yo for being here with me. Selah

It’s too bad these moments of orientation can be so fleeting. I can get afraid and look to my idols to save me. My own intellect. Money. Government. My wife. I look to them to orient me, but they are all as dependable as shifting sand. And that’s not a slam on my wife. She’s amazing. But she’s human and her life is fragile. Things could change in a moment. She can’t be my idol. And it’s not fair to her to make her my idol. She doesn’t need that kind of pressure from me.

Father, you are my refuge and strength. You are always ready to help me in times of trouble. You might not solve the problem the way I want it solved, but you will be there to love, support, and comfort me through it. You will also be there to teach me through it, not allowing the pain to be wasted. So what is the worst that can happen in earthquakes come or the mountains crash into the sea? Maybe it will simply expedite my journey to seeing you without this veil beween us. I pray for peace on this earth. End the wars. End the suffering. End the death. Help me to know what my role is in yourplan for all of that.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 11, 2026 in Psalms

 

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Colossians 3:12-17

10 Jun

12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. 17 And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

Colossians 3:12-17

Dear God, I was in the Christian Men’s Life Skills class at the opening last night when the guy that does the ice breaker asked the question, “Would you rather be feared by everyone or loved by everyone?” No, I’ll say that it’s not a good dichotomy. One, I think you can be both feared and loved. Some guys wanted to say respected by everyone. Then there’s being liked. Hated. Some might find us annoying or charming. But given the question, just about everyone said loved. I said loved. Then when it was said and done, he said, “You guys say you want to be loved and not feared, but how many of your children or wives at home would say they fear you?” That was a sobering question. Then one of the leaders pointed out that there is no relationship in fear. There’s only relationship in love. I thought that was really good too. It was a great discussion.

I bring all of this up because I think it aligns with this passage really well. Clothing myself in tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience is important. The Bible study teacher last night was talking about humility. I have to say, I was wondering how really important it is that I be respected, and what do I mean by respect? Do I mean the kind where people respect my integrity or do I mean the kind where it’s really another word for feared. I’ll take the integrity one. I don’t want to be feared.

I also like the part of this passage that talks about remembering how much you have forgiven me so that I can forgive others. When I have difficulty forgiving others, it’s usually because I’ve forgotten just how much you’ve forgiven me and how grateful I am for you.

Father, I want to let the message about Jesus and everything he was and is fill my life, and then I want to communicate this to others. When they respect me, I want it to be a respect that appreciates authenticity, consistency, integrity, and love for others. I’m going to be interviewing someone for a position today. Selfishly, I really want this to work out. But I don’t want to be foolish and do this in my own wisdom and without you. Help me to understand who this person is and whether or not this will be a good fit for us and for them. Bless and encourage my wife. Help her to feel loved by me and I hope she never fears me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 10, 2026 in Colossians

 

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Matthew 7:13-14

09 Jun

13 “You can enter God’s Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell [the road that leads to destruction] is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. 14 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it.

Matthew 7:13-14

Dear God, I was with a group of men last night who are dealing with legal issues of one sort or another. All of differing degrees of seriousness. The meeting always starts with an icebreaker, and the question last night was, “Talk about a pivotal moment in your life.” About a third of the room talked about getting sober and the events (usually terrible) that led up to it. About a third of the room talked about a child being born and the realization that they needed to be a father for this child. I was actually both excited and embarrassed to tell them mine. It was back in July 1987 when I went to a Leadership Conference put on by the Fellowship of Christian Athletes at Hardin Simmons University in Abilene, Texas. It was there that I broke the cycle of just accepting you as savior and was actually taught to walk through the narrow gate.

The hardest part about having found the narrow gate is trying to describe it to others and encouraging them to find it too. I want for these men to discipline themselves into discipleship. I want my friends who haven’t found the narrow path to find it. Some young people look at my wife and me as “goals,” but they aren’t willing to do the work it takes to be who we are. And who we are isn’t perfect. We have our problems, sorrows, and laments. But we also have a sense of peace in you. I feel so loved and cared for by you even though everything isn’t perfect. My life could be, however, so much worse.

Father, help me show these men the narrow gate and know how to invite them to it. Help me to show them the narrow path and invite them to it. Help me to find the path today. Help me to die to myself, give up my agenda for this day, and embrace the activities you have for me. Help me to love others well. Help me to love you well.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 9, 2026 in Matthew

 

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Habakkuk 3:19a

08 Jun

19 God, the Lord, is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the deer’s;
    he makes me tread on my high places.

Habakkuk 3:19a

Dear God, this book starts with Habakkuk complaining to you about how you do things and the struggles he and Israel are having. Why did you allow them to stray so far from you? Why are you allowing infidels to be your hand of punishment? In other words, you’re doing your job wrong and I don’t like it.

There are all kinds of times when I wish things were being done differently. I’m watching the happenings in my own nation now, and I get discouraged. Politically. Socially. Economically. Spiritually. And then I realize that self-pity is a huge trap. I’m reminded how I get myself into the most trouble when I’m feeling sorry for myself.

I read a Facebook post this morning from one of my wife’s longtime friends from high school. She was promoting a new dynamic nonprofit in Seattle that isn’t feeling sorry for itself, but building itself to reach the needs they see. Here’s her post:

I can’t attest to “Dan’s” faith. I’ve never met him. But I’m impressed by Dan’s tenacity and vision. I’m impressed by his love and compassion. I’m impressed that he saw a problem and didn’t just complain about why someone isn’t doing more. I have another friend right now who is frustrating me because she is feeling sorry for herself and lashing out at others instead of experiencing some introspection on how she might have contributed to the problem she’s now facing and finding a productive way forward.

Father, I pray your blessings on Dan’s work. I don’t know where anyone is in their faith, but I pray that you will use all of that work to introduce everyone involved to you. Make the pain that everyone is experiencing count. I pray for my other friends who is going through a lot of self-pity and anger. Guide her. Show her your path to forgiveness, reconciliation, and love. Help her to teach that to her children as well.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2026 in Habakkuk

 

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Fences and Walls – Malcolm Foley, Sharon Hodde Miller, and Mike Strehlow

07 Jun

Dear God, this whole podcast yesterday was about the value of struggling. Choosing the harder, slower path because it can be of value. They talked about AI’s efforts to remove struggling in our lives. They also talked about relationships and how there is a tendency today to put up walls instead of boundaries. In this segment starting at about the 45-minute mark, they talked about the difference between a picket fence and a wall. A picket fence is used to set a boundary and keep in/out small animals (cats excluded, I assume since they can get over most fences easily) and children but still allows interactions between adults and walls which set a boundary but also knock out relationship.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my mother recently. I told her that, in my mind, government has worked best when different views have to work together and compromise. If one party had complete control of the House of Representatives (all 435 seats), the Senate (all 100 seats), the Supreme Court (all 9 seats), and the Presidency (1 seat), it would be a disaster, but that seems to be our goal. That’s what gerrymandering is all about. How can my party get more control so we can get our way without effort or compromise? How can I make life easier for me with more power? Even if I were a Republican, I shouldn’t want all 535 seats of Congress, all 9 Supreme Court seats, and the White House. Same is true if I were a Democrat. The result would be horrible.

In the context of the video segment I linked above, if I were only in relationship with like-minded people then it would be bad for me. I need the iron of others to rub up against me and sharpen my iron. I need smart people who disagree with me. I need to learn to compromise because–guess what–I’m not always right! No one is. We all need to be corrected.

One thing about the younger generation now is that more and more of them struggle to know how to interact with other people in person. A friend and I were talking yesterday about how waiting tables earlier in our lives taught us so much. Multitasking. Dealing with difficult people. Self-confidence. Sales. It was hard work, but we were better for it.

Father, help me to embrace the difficulty of interpersonal relationships, including those with family who are difficult. Yes, it would be easier to put up a wall. It would be a path of less resistance if I just leave behind those who bother me, annoy me, or challenge me for a path where there is no challenge, but I would be missing something huge. I’d be missing the opportunity to learn from them, and I might miss the opportunity to impart you to them. You make me better. My wife makes me better. My friends and coworkers make me better. My family makes me better. One of the great things about community is how it forces me to get out of myself and be a little more humble. Help me to be that humble.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Ephesians 3:10-19

06 Jun

10 God’s purpose in all this was to use the church to display his wisdom in its rich variety to all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. 11 This was his eternal plan, which he carried out through Christ Jesus our Lord.

12 Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence. 13 So please don’t lose heart because of my trials here. I am suffering for you, so you should feel honored.

14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Ephesians 3:10-19

Dear God, there are two things in this passage that struck me this morning.

  1. Verses 10-11: 10 God’s purpose in all this was to use the church to display his wisdom in its rich variety to all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. 11 This was his eternal plan, which he carried out through Christ Jesus our Lord. This is kind of a lament or me because I don’t think the modern American church “displays [your] wisdom in its rich variety” very well. I’ve prayed about this before, but the TV show Ted Lasso is unique because the main character is completely a-religious, but he remarkably displays almost all of the fruits of the Spirit. Love, joy, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control. The one he is missing is peace. And I still don’t think he’s found it over the course of the entire series. But for the others, he displays those and then they spread to the rest of the characters. What would it be like if the Church, your Church, displayed the fruits of your Spirit like that (including peace).
  2. Verses 16-19: 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Speaking of the fruits of the Spirit, this is how they grow. Us dwelling with you and your dwelling in us. But we have to give the soil of our hearts continuous weeding, watering, and fertilizer so that our branch will grow deep into your vine. So our roots will graft into you. So that we will become one. Then it will be your love that keeps us strong.

Father, live and love through me today. Help me to keep my soil weeded and fed. Help me to spurn what is of this world and pursue you. Help me to give you all of the glory for everything good in my life. You and I both know my limitations–you know them better than me. I offer all of it and all of me to you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 6, 2026 in Ephesians

 

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1 Thessalonians 5:12-22

05 Jun

12 Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. 13 Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other.

14 Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone.

15 See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.

16 Always be joyful. 17 Never stop praying. 18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

19 Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. 20 Do not scoff at prophecies, 21 but test everything that is said. Hold on to what is good. 22 Stay away from every kind of evil.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-22

Dear God, I do better when listed items are in bullet points as opposed to paragraph form. Here’s a reprint of what Paul encouraged at the end of this letter:

  • Honor church leaders.
  • Show church leaders respect and wholehearted love.
  • Live peacefully with those in your Christian community.
  • Warn those who are lazy.
  • Encourage the timid.
  • Care for the weak.
  • Be patient with everyone.
  • Do not pay back evil for evil.
  • Always try to be good to those in community and to everone else.
  • Be joyful.
  • Pray unceasingly.
  • Be thankful in everything.
  • Do not stifle the Holy Spirit. Provide rich soil for him to grow in you.
  • Respect prophecies while still testing them.
  • Hold on to what is good.
  • Stay away from evil.

It’s almost like a mini Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) here. He touches being a comforter. Caring for others. Eye for an eye. Prayer. Thankful. Lead me not into temptation. It’s like I just need to let my mind soak in these thoughts today.

Warning the lazy is an interesting one. I wonder how Paul was defining “lazy” here and what he wanted people to do about it. Does lazy mean not doing labor or serving others (selfish) or is it as basic as someone not disciplining themselves to spend time in prayer and pursuing you? I have a feeling it’s the latter. There are several people in my life I’ve encouraged to take the time to discipline themselves to spend time with you. I feel like I’ve totally failed in that in their lives. I don’t think any of them are doing it.

Father, I offer myself to you today. I don’t want to be lazy. I also don’t want to just push through the work I have to do under my own power and lose sight of the fact that, in everything, I am serving you and loving others. Help me to carry all of these admonishments from Paul into my day. Teach me and grow me more and more into your image.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 5, 2026 in 1 Thessalonians

 

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1 Chronicles 29:1-9

04 Jun

29 Then King David turned to the entire assembly and said, “My son Solomon, whom God has clearly chosen as the next king of Israel, is still young and inexperienced. The work ahead of him is enormous, for the Temple he will build is not for mere mortals—it is for the Lord God himself! 2 Using every resource at my command, I have gathered as much as I could for building the Temple of my God. Now there is enough gold, silver, bronze, iron, and wood, as well as great quantities of onyx, other precious stones, costly jewels, and all kinds of fine stone and marble.

3 “And now, because of my devotion to the Temple of my God, I am giving all of my own private treasures of gold and silver to help in the construction. This is in addition to the building materials I have already collected for his holy Temple. 4 I am donating more than 112 tons of gold from Ophir and 262 tons of refined silver to be used for overlaying the walls of the buildings 5 and for the other gold and silver work to be done by the craftsmen. Now then, who will follow my example and give offerings to the Lord today?”

6 Then the family leaders, the leaders of the tribes of Israel, the generals and captains of the army, and the king’s administrative officers all gave willingly. 7 For the construction of the Temple of God, they gave about 188 tons of gold, 10,000 gold coins,[e] 375 tons of silver, 675 tons of bronze, and 3,750 tons of iron. 8 They also contributed numerous precious stones, which were deposited in the treasury of the house of the Lord under the care of Jehiel, a descendant of Gershon. 9 The people rejoiced over the offerings, for they had given freely and wholeheartedly to the Lord, and King David was filled with joy.

1 Chronicles 29:1-9

Dear God, I noticed two things when I read this passage this morning. One is not as important, but the othere is the one I want to spend some time on. The first that’s not as important is the difference between how 1 Kings 1 tells the story of Solomon ascending to the throne and how the succession planning is described here. It seems much more orderly and organized in this telling of the story. Which was it? I tend to believe the messier version. This one feels a little too tidy.

The more important thing I want to spend time with is the joy of giving. Verses 6-8 describe how the people all joined together in giving to you for your glory, and then verse 9 says, “The people rejoiced over the offerings, for they had given freely and wholeheartedly to the Lord, and King David was filled with joy.” There’s a reason you commanded us to love you and then love others. It wasn’t for you. It isn’t even as much for the others. Giving of ourselves is for us. Giving our possessions and money. Giving our time. I mentioned the other day that it feels like I’m getting more selfish with my time, and it’s starting to bother me.

Then I was praying with my wife this morning, and we were talking about some relatives we would love to be able to show love to, but we are physically separated from them and we can’t. My prayer was that you would raise up people in their lives who could love them for us. Then I thought to pray (Holy Spirit nudging?) that you make us those proxies to love others around us who can’t be loved by their loved ones.

Father, help me to be your ambassador. Help me to love well. Help me to celebrate you and then share that celebration with others. Help me to represent a life that is reconciled to you, and please make that life attractive so that others might be drawn into being reconciled to and in relationship with you as well. Do all of this for your glory and for my neighbors. And show me the cost that I must pay to do this, and help me to be willing to joyfully pay that cost.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 4, 2026 in 1 Chronicles

 

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Proverbs 15:1

03 Jun

15 A gentle answer turns away wrath,
    but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

Dear God, of course, this is great advice from Proverbs (Solomon?). I’ve gotten myself into trouble when I’ve hastily confronted someone instead of taking a beat, calming down, looked for ways to assume better of them and give them the benefit of the doubt, and then talked to them in a way that communicates I want the best for everyone involved. I can think of a few instances when I spontaneously decided to nip a problem in the bud and was confrontational. It NEVER went well.

The St. Francis Prayer includes the line, “Make me an instrument of your peace.” Yes. I want to be an instrument of your peace. I know Jesus talked about NOT being an instrument of your peace. The be willing to confront. That we might have to sacrifice relationships for you.

34 “Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household.

Matthew 10:34-36

And while I still don’t totally understand what he was saying there, I can appreciate the idea that, at some point, my values will simply conflict with the world around me and you will call me to stand up.

I was talking to the guys at Christian Men’s Life Skills the other night about “ego,” and how it can be bad, but we also need a certain amount of it to establish our ow standards and who we are. It’s how we resist peer pressure. It’s how we determine who we are in our core. It’s where we get our self-esteem. The trick on ego is to not let it stand for “Edging God Out.”

Father. I wan tto be your man today. I will have opportunities to love, advise, and help. I will also have opportunities to receive love, advice, and help. Make me a great giver and also, for your glory’s sake, a great receiver.

I pray all of this in Jesus and iwth your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 3, 2026 in Proverbs

 

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