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Category Archives: Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

John 8:31-36

31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

33 “But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?”

34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.”

John 8:31-36

Dear God, in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam focuses today on verse 32: “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” But before I start thinking about the freedom you’re offering, I need to think about what is keeping me un-free. What has be captive that I need freedom from? Jesus answers that question specifically in verse 34: “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin.”

So why is it that my sin is able to and does enslave me? What is happening there? Carrying around shame and guilt is a big part of it. No matter how much we might try to brush it off or ignore it, there is this piece of our conscience that will needle us. Sometimes it will cause us to protect the sin. To not confess it, but to secretly carry the burden of it. Those are the shameful sins like stealing, lust, or adultery. Even up to murder.

Then there are the subtle sins that just slowly poison us. Sins like envy and gossiping. Or how about hate? That’s one that we just carry around with us, but Jesus tells us in the Sermon on the Mount that to hate is as bad on our soul as murder.

But Jesus offers something unique. Absolution. Forgiveness from you. Reconciliation with you. Freedom to move in the world as someone who sins but has a weird freedom from its guilt and shame. And when we have this freedom and we take that freedom and use it to simply follow you, pray to you, get to know you, etc., then these weird fruits start to just grow out of us naturally, even in the worst of circumstances. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Goodness. Kindness. Gentleness. Faithfulness. Self-control. And others will notice the difference. When those fruits start to grow out of me, they will see you in those fruits.

Father, lest I forget, one of the commands Jesus gave me was to forgive others as you have forgiven me. Oh, how this can be hard. But that self-righteous decision to hold onto my anger and ill-wishes for another person are sin too. And they poison me. And you know they poison me. So help me to know what real forgiveness looks like. I pray you will lead me just a little deeper into the center of your heart today.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Psalm 102:1

Psalm 102

A prayer of one overwhelmed with trouble, pouring out problems before the Lord.

Lord, hear my prayer!
    Listen to my plea!

Psalm 102:1

Dear God, I wanted to capture not only the verse that Sr. Miriam highlighted today in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but also include the description of the psalm given to us by scripture. As I think about the pervasive problem in my life that I have poured out to you for well over a decade now, I can say that I’m actually tired of it. I’m tired of praying about it. I’m tired of lamenting it. I’m tired of the pain that I’m addressing when I pray about it. I’m tired of the pain I feel from it. To some extent, I feel hopeless about it, and my prayer feels fruitless.

It’s that last one that gives me pause and want to un-say all of the rest of the things I just said. Has the prayer really been fruitless? I don’t know that it has done anything to make the situation any better or the pain any less, but I can say that it has affected me. It has changed me. I’ve discovered things about myself and about you that I didn’t know 10 or 15 years ago. I’m better now. I’m also more sensitive to the pain of others. The fire has refined me. The breaking has allowed you to put me back together in a better way.

It’s interesting to get older and feel legitimately closer to death. I’m still relatively young and likely have decades ahead of me, but I’m just feeling the slippage of time in a way I didn’t used to. I think part of my pain now is that I don’t know if the situation over which I lament will be resolved in my lifetime. Will I die with this pain and disappointment?

So now I need to think about the forgiveness part of this lament. The hurt I’m experiencing was caused by the actions of many, including my own. Do I forgive the actions of the others? Do I forgive myself?

Father, that is part of this process too: Forgiveness. I need to remember that the sorrow comes from some situation, and my mind is probably blaming someone for that situation, including myself. Help me to identify what needs to be forgiven in others and myself, and help me to not only extend that forgiveness, but then know how to and how not to act on that forgiveness. Where do I draw the line? Help me get there.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Psalm 23:4

Even when I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
    for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
    protect and comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

Dear God, when I saw that this verse was Sister Miriam’s focus in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, I immediately thought of the poem by Sally Fisher called “Here in the Psalm” that was a reinterpretation of the 23rd Psalm. Here is the part that corresponds with verse 4:

and though some valleys
are very chilly there is a long
rod that prods me so I
direct my hooves
the right way

I’ve been sick in bed the last couple of days, and I’ve found myself watching some reaction videos for the Clint Eastwood movie Unforgiven. It’s a brutal tale, but Eastwood wrote, directed, and produced it to de-glorify violence. There is violence in the movie, but Eastwood makes you feel it. He makes you feel each death and how it impacts the murderer. During the movie, people are scared. Clint Eastwood’s whole life is a lifeless valley with no hope. At one point, he is sick and starts hallucinating. He says he saw the Angel of Death. He is, in fact, “unforgiven.” Thinking about it now, every person in the movie is desperate and hopeless. No one isn’t afraid.

Of course, I don’t live a life like that. Few do nowadays. I guess maybe people like that were the minority back then as well. I’m grateful to not have had to live in one, long, seemingly endless valley. But I know there are people in today’s world who do. I think of the people in Israel and Gaza. The people in Ukraine. Sudan. All over the world. There is no hope. There is no dream of things getting better. Just desperation.

Wow, Father. I don’t know where I’m going with this except to use it to lead me to pray for those in your world who are desperate. Whether they live in my community and are victims of extreme poverty, addiction, domestic violence, etc. Or whether they are in a country or situation where their persecution is limitless. I pray for those souls. I don’t have the answer for them. I don’t have the answer for their tormentors–the “unforgiven.” I’m just 1 7-billionth of this world, sitting in a bed right now recovering from a cold. But while their lives are seemingly cheap to this world, I know that every single one of the 7 billion souls on this planet currently living are precious to you. I pray that your Spirit will move over all of the land and sea. I pray that you will touch lives, rescue, comfort, prod, correct, and move. Oh, Father, please move.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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John 8:1-11

Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

11 “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

John 8:1-11

Dear God, so okay, I’ve been struggling with what forgiveness looks like over the last couple of weeks. But I am reminded over and over again, especially during Lent, that Jesus made forgiveness a critical piece of our lives. And he modeled that through his life. Quoting Sister Miriam from today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation:

Not only does Jesus exhort us to ask the Father to forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” but also he immediately reiterates and augments this portion of the prayer at its conclusion to expound upon the necessity of it (see Matthew 6:14-15). Of all the things Jesus could beseech us to pray for and about, he insists upon forgiveness. But he does not just speak about it; he shows us the reality of it upon the Cross, offering his life on behalf of the forgiveness of our sins, pleading with the Father to “forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

So that’s one of the big things for me to keep in mind here. I am honestly not sure if the people who are hurting me the most right now even know they are doing it. Or understand that it’s wrong. Or maybe it’s not wrong. Maybe I’m wrong. Frankly, it can be hard to know. But is part of the forgiveness process understanding the other person is possibly ignorant of their offense? I understand that sometimes people intentionally hurt and forgiveness needs to be extended in those cases as well, but do we need to start with giving the benefit of the doubt and assuming ignorance of offense?

Father, I want to close with a prayer Sister Miriam used to close yesterday’s meditation, making it my own prayer to you: Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I offer you my heart and the places where bearing wrongs from other people has been so difficult. Please forgive me for the ways I have tried to destructively cope and save myself and turn away from your love. Please be with me here and give me the gift of true patience with an open and offering heart, united to you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Psalm 116:3-4

Death wrapped its ropes around me;
    the terrors of the grave overtook me.
    I saw only trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Please, Lord, save me!”

Psalm 116:3-4

Dear god, I happened to read a verse out of Revelation this morning when I was looking something up, and it makes me think of these verses from Psalm 116. The passage in Revelation was Revelation 12:11: “And they have defeated him by the blood of the lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.”

Death is such an interesting thing for us. And it’s a hazy mystery. As much as we had to go through birth to get here, we will go through death to leave. And what will happen then? I mean we have some ideas of heaven and even hell, but none of us REALLY knows what will happen. Once a soul is born, can it be killed, or does it really exist forever? Honestly, for the sake of those who are not brought into your kingdom, I hope a soul can just die. Why torment it forever?

So this all brings me back to these two verses from Psalm 116 that Sister Miriam highlights in today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. To add context two them, here they are again, but this time with the two verses that preceded and followed them:

I love the Lord because he hears my voice
    and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen,
    I will pray as long as I have breath!
Death wrapped its ropes around me;
    the terrors of the grave[a] overtook me.
    I saw only trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
    “Please, Lord, save me!”
How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
    So merciful, this God of ours!
The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
    I was facing death, and he saved me.

A psalm of reorientation. God is good! Things were bad and I called for saving. God protected me. God is good!

Here’s something I like from Sister Miriam’s commentary today:

The bearing of wrongs, not with bitterness or numbness but with patience, is a great and crucifying gift. It means that there is a real way to freedom and restoration through suffering and the wrongs that others inflict upon us. It means that there is resurrection even in experiences of death.

Father, I have been wronged and I have wronged others. Help me to know how to apologize for the wrongs I have done to others, and help me to heal from the wrongs done to me through grace and mercy given by me to them. Where there has been pain, don’t let it be wasted. And sometimes the pains are just from life. I have a friend who lost his wife one year ago today. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but it left it’s mark. It was a long, hard illness that exacted a toll from him. It still hurts for him. Where there is pain, bring healing. Where there is healing, use the scars to help us know how to help you heal others. In his song “First Family,” Rich Mullins talks about his parents losing a son: “But the pain didn’t leave them crippled. Only scars that made them strong.” Heal my would into scars, and use my scars for your glory.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Prayer after Communion

Grant, we pray, O Lord,
That, as we pass from old
to new,
So, with former ways left
behind,
We may be renewed in
Holiness of mind.


Prayer after Communion

Dear God, communion is an interesting thing Jesus left us. I’m sorry that it has, to some extent, become a divider among Christians. I think it grieves you that this has happened. I’m sure Jesus thought it was pretty simple at that last supper. He’s in anguish. He’s knows he’s about to suffer. If he had any doubts that he would suffer, they were certainly removed by Moses and Elijah at the Transfiguration (Luke 9:31). So here he is with his disciples, and he gives them a symbol of what will happen to his body (broken) and blood (poured out). A few months ago I actually wondered if every meal we have shouldn’t be communion. If every time I bite into a sandwich or even a tortilla–maybe more especially a tortilla–I shouldn’t be remembering Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection. When I pray before a meal, should that be the focus of the prayer, or at least included as part of it. Have we just made something given to us as a beautiful gift into something else that we can use to divide us and drive a wedge between us?

Wow, I didn’t expect to go here this morning with this reading from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but that’s where my thoughts led me. To lament and see that some repentance on my part might be due. This is really going to make me rethink everything, or at least every time I break bread.

Back to this prayer itself, that I would experience the leaving behind of my former self and renew myself to your holiness through the broken body and poured out blood of Jesus, yes, I claim this. Even in this time with you this morning, with no bread or body around anywhere, I submit to you, thank you for everything you are–from the God of the Old Testament, to yourself revealed through Jesus in the New Testament, to the Holy Spirit with me this morning–and pray that you will help me to walk forward with a renewed heart and mind.

Father, thank you for being with me this morning. Help me to sink into you. As I go to work this morning, help me to worship you well and love others through that work. As I interact with family and friends, help me to love them well and to be your ambassador of love to them.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – April 3, 2025

We evoke your mercy in
Humble Prayer, O Lord,
That you may cause us,
Your servants,
Corrected by penance
and schooled by good
works,
To persevere sincerely in
Your commands
And come safely to the
Paschal festivities.


Collect for Mass of the Day – April 3, 2025

Dear God, lead me on. When I read this passage this morning, what jumped to mind was the Amy Grant song “Lead Me On.” This is a journey. Trials. Pain. Victories. Sorrows. Celebrations. Laments. Lead me on!

Today marks the 25th anniversary of these prayer journals. It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing them this long. They have changed my life. I’m not the same 30-year-old who started doing these on April 3, 2000. I have more bruises and callouses. I also have some great testimonies of what you’ve done in my life. I can look back at the major events in my life since then and honestly say that they would literally not have happened if I hadn’t been doing these prayer journals.

Of course, I remember the time I stopped doing them for over a year and a half. That might have been the lowest point of my life. I remember praying to you and telling you that I wasn’t angry with you, but I just couldn’t get motivated to pray to you in this way. And I honestly felt that way at the time. But in retrospect, if I wasn’t angry with you, I was certainly disappointed. While I rejected the idea of prosperity gospel, I think I had bought into a certain level of belief that you would give me at least a little something of what I wanted in exchange for my worship and obedience. I still don’t understand what happened then or what is still happening now, but I have learned that my life is truly not about me. It is about how you will use it regardless of the consequences to me. And, to be sure, I have a very good life. But there is pain, and I am learning how to let you comfort me in that pain instead of complaining that you allowed the pain to happen.

My wife asked me over dinner last night what I think it’s done for me–all these thousands of prayer journals. I told her that on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being Jesus and 1 being who I was before I met you, I think it has moved me from a 1.6 to a 1.8. But that is closer to being more Christlike than I was before. Maybe tomorrow I can hit a 1.81. But I could also digress to a 1.5. There is just so much of you, and I have so far to go. But you are worth it. The peace and joy I find in your presence are worth it. If I can truly get my heart to where Job gets at the end of his story and Paul gets throughout the Epistles of just realizing it’s not about me, but it’s all about you, then I can continue to make that little bit of progress each day.

Father, for everything that happens, please don’t waste it. Even when I make a mistake, don’t waste the mistake. Help me to not waste time on regret, but to turn that regret into repentance and then moving forward in you. As I start this 26th year of journaling my prayers to you in this way, I pray that you will speak to me in this space. Holy Spirit, sit with me and pray with me. Teach me. Take my heart to the Father. I worship you, my Triune God.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Isaiah 49:14-15

14 Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us;
    the Lord has forgotten us.”

15 “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?
    Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible,
    I would not forget you!

Isaiah 49:14-15

Dear God, verse 15 is so powerful and wonderful. So reassuring. You built in a love of child into parents–especially mothers–that is amazing. And you knew how to put it there because that love for us is in you.

What’s interesting is that it is easier and easier for a child to forget its parent, just as it is easier and easier for us to forget you. There is an epidemic in our country today of adult children walking away from their families of origin. There can be any number of reasons for this. There can be unhealed pain. There can be just plain ol’ selfishness and even cruelty. Vengeance for something either done or perceived to have been done. And it can be hard, as the adult child, to see the parent with your eyes. To give them grace.

And we do this to you. We walk away, either from unhealed pain or selfishness. We might even want to be intentionally cruel to you or exact our vengeance upon you for something we perceived you did that we felt betrayed us.

But your love for us does not work that way. You never forget. You never leave. You are the father on the porch, waiting for us to come down the road. You give us the freedom to walk away, but you also never take away our freedom to turn around and come home.

Father, I have pain as a parent. I am sorry I have inflicted that kind of pain on you in the past. I am sorry my figurative brothers and sisters in the world continue to inflict that kind of pain on you. I hope that my love and the love from my other figurative brothers and sisters who are worshipping you today brings you joy in your existence. I willingly and gladly receive your love. I give you my heart and my soul.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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John 5:1-6

Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. Crowds of sick people—blind, lame, or paralyzed—lay on the porches. One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”

John 5:1-6

Dear God, off of the top of my head, I can’t think of many or any examples of Jesus proactively approaching the sick person and offering healing. Maybe there are, but when I read this passage this morning, that is what struck me. Maybe this is semantics, but Jesus didn’t say, “May I heal you?” He asked, “Would you like to get well?” Again, maybe I’m reading too much into this and there are cultural norms and customs at play, but the intimation of this verbiage in 21st Century English is that there is a chance the man wanted to stay sick by the pool. It had been his life for 38 years. It would be a lot to take it away. Even though it was awful, it was all he knew.

I have so many analogies running through my head right now for how this can be true of us now. Do I want to give up my sins and follow after you? Well, I’ve gotten kind of used to my sin and this life. The devil I know is better than the life in you that I don’t know. Or when I think of how we are all afraid of death, but I wonder if you don’t see this life for us as the equivalent of us lying by this pool. That’s not to say you don’t have us here and have a role for us here. Our human lives are precious and important. But you have the perspective of what we don’t on the life that is to come. “Don’t be afraid.”

I suppose I should read Sister Miriam’s commentary on this passage from Restored: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. She focused on being present with you and letting you heal us, and then for us to be present with others, allowing you to flow through us to them.

Father, I have sorrows. I have areas of my heart and soul that need healed. Some are of my own making. Some are things done to me. Some, I can’t tell whose fault it is, mine or someone else’s. But I want to sit with you in this moment and tell you that, yes, I want to be healed. I don’t know what that healing even looks like because I do think sorrow is important sometimes. I think lament is appropriate. I think mourning is appropriate. Jesus even said it is blessed to mourn and to be comforted. So help me to use my sorrow and turn it into comfort for others. I have a friend who’s coming up on the one-year anniversary of his wife passing. Help me to comfort him. Love him through me. Love the people I touch today through me. And use the comforting process to heal my own heart as well.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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John 4:43-54

43 At the end of the two days, Jesus went on to Galilee. 44 He himself had said that a prophet is not honored in his own hometown. 45 Yet the Galileans welcomed him, for they had been in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration and had seen everything he did there.

46 As he traveled through Galilee, he came to Cana, where he had turned the water into wine. There was a government official in nearby Capernaum whose son was very sick. 47 When he heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went and begged Jesus to come to Capernaum to heal his son, who was about to die.

48 Jesus asked, “Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?”

49 The official pleaded, “Lord, please come now before my little boy dies.”

50 Then Jesus told him, “Go back home. Your son will live!” And the man believed what Jesus said and started home.

51 While the man was on his way, some of his servants met him with the news that his son was alive and well. 52 He asked them when the boy had begun to get better, and they replied, “Yesterday afternoon at one o’clock his fever suddenly disappeared!” 53 Then the father realized that that was the very time Jesus had told him, “Your son will live.” And he and his entire household believed in Jesus. 54 This was the second miraculous sign Jesus did in Galilee after coming from Judea.

John 4:43-54

Dear God, as I read this story this morning, I was struck by the words exchanged between the government official and Jesus:

Government Official (assuming what he said): Jesus, please come and heal my son!

Jesus: Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?

Government Official: Lord, please come now before my little boy dies.

Jesus: Go back home. Your son will live!

Jesus challenges the official, and the official proves that he isn’t there for a show. He doesn’t care about water being turned into wine. He isn’t there to be impressed and convinced of anything. He just wants his son to live, and he sees Jesus’s power in that moment as an avenue to getting what he wants. And Jesus has mercy on him.

I wonder who this man later became in “The Way.” What about the boy he saved? The rest of the family? How did they respond when they heard Jesus was killed? Did they believe in his resurrection?

I like the first paragraph of what Sister Miriam wrote for today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation: “Jesus does not refuse those who come to him and ask in their need. He never refuses an earnest prayer of the heart. Although the way he answers our needs and prayers may be different from what we anticipate, Jesus always gives to us from his heart.”

Father, I have earnest prayers, but they are ignorant and all over the place. The truth is, I don’t know what you want to do in some of these difficult situations. I know my goal for the people I love is ultimate healing in their hearts, souls, minds, and bodies, regardless of what it costs me. I will give anything for that. So as I experience pain, hurt and fear, I give it to you. I trust you. I appreciate your love and comfort. I am grateful for the ability to even come to you in this moment and have your Holy Spirit pray with me and comfort me. Thank you.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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