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Category Archives: Musings and Stories

Just a Prayer

02 Sep

Dear God, sometimes I forget to just spend some time with you. I was sitting here this morning trying to think of what scripture/song/image/story to use as a starting point for my journal and then I thought, “What if you just talk to God without any of that stuff?” Hmm. Interesting concept.

Of course, there are concerns on my heart, but I don’t want to start this prayer there. I want to start by simply saying that I trust you. And when I don’t trust you, I really intend to trust you. I have said this many times before, but I’m like that father asking you to heal his son: “I believe. Help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) Father, I trust you. Help my distrust. Help me to accept the fact that you are doing things I cannot see and that your plans are good. When I am disappointed that my prayers are seemingly going unanswered, help me to let go of what I think the answers should be.

I’d also like to say that I’m sorry for my hubris. I’m sorry that I think too much of myself and what I have to offer you. I’m sorry for sinning. I’m sorry for coveting, lying, lusting, and lethargy. I’m sorry that sometimes I feel sorry for myself. I’m sorry that, even for brief moments in my heart, I complain to you. I’m sorry that I don’t always bring my burdens to you, but try to solve things on my own. I’m sorry for judging others instead of trying to see them with your eyes and loving them. I’m sorry for being downright selfish. Thank you for making a bridge for me to reach you through all of my pain and using that bridge to make me a better man.

In talking about trusting you and complaining about my circumstance, I’m reminded of your words to Job in Job 38 when you say:

It’s funny, but after praying all of that about trust and repentance

“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? “Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and wrapped it in thick darkness? For I locked it behind barred gates, limiting its shores. I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come. Here your proud waves must stop!’ “Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth, to bring an end to the night’s wickedness? As the light approaches, the earth takes shape like clay pressed beneath a seal; it is robed in brilliant colors. The light disturbs the wicked and stops the arm that is raised in violence. “Have you explored the springs from which the seas come? Have you explored their depths? Do you know where the gates of death are located? Have you seen the gates of utter gloom? Do you realize the extent of the earth? Tell me about it if you know! “Where does light come from, and where does darkness go? Can you take each to its home? Do you know how to get there? But of course you know all this! For you were born before it was all created, and you are so very experienced!
Job 38:2-21

Oh, how I hope you never have to speak that way to me (again). I know you’ve had cause to in the past because I have grumbled against you. I am truly sorry.

It’s interesting how starting a prayer talking about trusting you regardless of my situation and repenting changes the rest of the prayer. Yes, I have a list of supplications I’d like to bring to you, but they seem wrong now. I have children, nieces and nephews, siblings, and parents on my heart. I have work. I have friends. All of these things are on my heart. Some of them are tragic and some are in life-threatening situations. But in the grand scheme of your sovereignty and your plan, the prayers for solving these various issues seem wrong. No, what I want to pray for is that you will bring all of us into perfect relationship with you, and that you will make any pain that is being suffered by someone count. Don’t let it return void, but use it for your glory.

Father, that is my prayer today. It’s largely the Lord’s Prayer. My Father in Heaven. Hallowed be your name. May your kingdom come and will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give me this day my daily bread, and forgive me of my sins as I forgive those that sin against me. And lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours forever and ever.

It is in Jesus’s name and the power of what he did that I dare to approach you and pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2019 in Job, Mark, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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The Holy Spirit in our Daily Lives

07 Jun

Dear God, as I read the story of Pentecost, I couldn’t help but take the “It’s a Wonderful Life” take on the story and wonder what our lives would be like if you didn’t send your Holy Spirit to us. What if Pentecost never happened? To reset the stage, Jesus has just ascended and all they are left with is the Old Testament and their memories of Jesus. They weren’t sure what to do next. In fact, they were so directionless, they decided that one of their priorities was to replace Judas (Acts 1:15-26). Without the Holy Spirit filling the 12 of them (we’ll assume Matthias, the newly appointed apostle was among those at Pentecost), would they have just stayed in their room? Would thousands have been reached that day through Peter’s preaching?

So we have the Holy Spirit, and I think that the modern church completely underestimates his role in our lives. Even in the apostles’ creed, he gets only a brief mention:

I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit
and born of the virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of the saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.

The Nicene Creed is somewhat better:

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds; God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God; begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made.
Who, for us men for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures; and ascended into heaven, and sits on the right hand of the Father; and He shall come again, with glory, to judge the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end.
And I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord and Giver of Life; who proceeds from the Father [and the Son]; who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; who spoke by the prophets.
And I believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins; and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.

So let me try to try to figure out through scripture what the Holy Spirit has done, currently does and will continue to do for your people and your world.

First, it’s important to note that this is not just a post-Jesus thing to have the Holy Spirit involved with humanity.

  • Psalm 51:11 (the one David wrote after he was confronted by Nathan about Bathsheba). Davis asks that your Holy Spirit not be taken from him.
  • Isaiah 63:10 & 11. Both verses mention you taking and imparting your Holy Spirit from and to your people.

Part of what makes your existence mind-blowing is that you want to be among us and involved in our lives. You want us to know you and you want to know us. You cared that the life of Jesus moved beyond those 12 apostles and you sent your presence to not only indwell them, but as I saw a couple of days ago, you intend to send it to everyone who calls on you. A part of your essence is always with your creation. It’s amazing.

So let’s look at what the Bible says about what the Holy Spirit’s role is in our lives:

  • John 14:26 – Teach us and help us remember. “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.” 
  • John 15:26-27 – Testify about Jesus and help us testify. “When the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, that is the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify about Me, 27and you will testify also, because you have been with Me from the beginning.”
  • John 16:7-11 – Convict us. “But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.
  • John 16:13-15; Mark 13:11; Luke 12:12 – Guide us with God’s direction and for God’s glory.  “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you. 15 All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said that He takes of Mine and will disclose it to you.” / “When they arrest you and hand you over, do not worry beforehand about what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour; for it is not you who speak, but it is the Holy Spirit.” / “…for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” 
  • Acts 4:31 – Boldness. And when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled wi thte Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness.
  • Acts 7:55-56 – Peace in the storm. But being full of the Holy Spirit, he gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God; 56 and he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
  • Acts 9:31 – Comfort. So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria enjoyed peace, being built up; and going on in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it continued to increase.
  • Acts 19:6; 1 Corinthians 12:7-11 – Gifts such as tongues, prophesying and healing. And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began speaking with tongues and prophesying. / Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
  • Romans 15:13 – Hope. Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will about in the hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
  • Romans 8:26-27 – Intercession. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

So in summary, the Holy Spirit’s role in my life and in our world is to teach me (us); testify about Jesus to me (us) and through me (us); convict me (us); guide me (us); intercede in prayer for me (us); and give me (us) boldness, peace, comfort, gifts, and hope.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, please help me to make room in my heart to receive all of these things from you. Help me to live in this victory so that my life is fully yours and I will never miss you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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God’s Inspirations

23 May

Dear God, I was speaking to a group of youth yesterday about the nonprofit where I work and I talked about how you take small seeds of ideas and grown them. In 1986, you led a woman to start doing some medical clinics with some missionaries in Northern Mexico. Six years later, you inspired her to start doing a one-night-a-week free clinic for people in the town where she lived. Ten years later, you inspired her and others to build on that and create a facility that would be a medical home for people. Now, 17 years later, what started as going to Mexico to help some people in 1986 has turned into a four-day-a-week clinic that has medical, dental, and mental health counseling services and a million dollar budget. Your blessing has been obvious, and I am grateful that your presence is still there. I wanted to show these high school students that big things can start from small seeds. They just need faith and patience.

I saw this video about the H.E. Butt Family Foundation Camp this morning. It made me think of the same thing—100 years ago a poor boy in Kerrville, Texas, promised himself that if he ever had enough money he would give kids an opportunity to experience nature. As he grew, he grew the family’s general store into a huge supermarket chain called H-E-B. In the early 50s, he and his wife found nearly 2,000 acres to purchase. From there they built camps for children and eventually an adult lodge for retreats. I am one of the beneficiaries of the seed you planted in his mind 100 years ago.

The H. E. Butt Family Foundation has impacted my life more than anything else. If you take away Howard Butt, Sr.’s vision and followthrough on that vision, I don’t know where I am right now.

  1. They hired my dad as a part-time bookkeeper in 1969 when he was in the Army and needing supplemental income to support his family.
  2. Nine years later, when my parents were separated, the man who hired him all those years ago invited him and my mom to a marriage retreat at which my father prayed to accept Christ and my after which my parents got back together.
  1. When I was 12, my dad came home from a retreat there and told me about a man he had med, Henry Parrish, who coached tennis. Through Henry, I got involved in Fellowship of Christian Athletes which had a huge impact on how I came to be a discipling Christian.
  1. When I was 19, I was a camp counselor at one of the youth camps and met my wife there.
  1. I have been to numerous retreats over the last 27 years, and there have been times you have completely inspired me, including the retreat in April 2000 when you inspired me to start this prayer journal.

All of this started because someone had the seed of an inspiration. He didn’t think about how you would use that ranch for discipleship development or anything like that. He just wanted to offer kids the opportunity to experience nature. You took it from there.

Father, help men to heed your little nudgings and inspirations. Help me to not miss the seeds you want me to plant or that you want to plant in me. Give me the faith and the patience to do the work that is in front of me and then watch you grow it into what you have for it to be.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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You Just Never Know

15 May

Dear God, I was talking with my wife this morning over breakfast about a young couple in their 20s. They were married just three years ago, and have already experienced some surprising setbacks.

The wife was in college in another state when they married and she was almost done with her degree. It was a specialty college that offered something no one else does. She had invested years in their program. Then, shortly after they got married, the college shut down. She was left with no degree and no one to honor the work she had already done. She was a square one.

They moved back to Texas and then the husband contracted a serious disease that will limit his ability to work for the rest of his life. Now she is working retail and the primary earner in their family while he tries to find work he can do. She is trying to climb the career ladder at the retailer where she works. They are about to move to another town where there will be more advancement opportunities within that company.

Just three short years ago, on their wedding day, I’m sure they never would have guessed where they would be in the summer of 2019. That made me think of this picture that I saw on Facebook this morning.

The man in the picture runs a large nonprofit in a low-income area of a city in Texas. I don’t know the woman, but he describes her in the picture. I know of just one or two of the tragedies that he and his wife have been through over the years. I know the woman only through this post, but this line struck me: “…we lamented the pain of and struggles of our lives.” Not that there hasn’t been good in each life. Great things have obviously happened. But there has been unplanned pain and struggle. After all, how can we possibly plan for the pain our lives will experience?

My wife and I are coming up on the 30-year anniversary of when we met. I was 19 and she was 18. We had no idea what the future held for us, but I can tell you that neither of us thought we would be where we are now in 30 years. And where we are is remarkably good, but it has also, despite our best efforts to follow you and live the way we feel called to live, brought tremendous pain. That’s life.

I’ve told you before that I was very disappointed in you a few years ago. I felt like you had let me down and hadn’t lived up to your end of the bargain for the faith I had put in you. But I’ve learned. I’ve slowly decreased in my own eyes and allowed you to increase. I’ve learned to give of myself and not take. I sang songs in church that “it’s all about you” and “it’s not about me,” but I didn’t really know how to live that.

Father, I’m still learning. I still feel sorry for myself sometimes. I still don’t appreciate just how good I’ve had it. And I still think way too hard about planning out and controlling my future instead of just staying in the moment with you. That will be my ultimate arrival in my growth, I think. When I learn to not look to the future, but am consistently completely in the present with you. Help me to continue to get there. And thank you for everything–even the pain.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

One Day at a Time

18 Apr

Dear God, I was reading Fred Smith’s blog today about a man who lived a seemingly ordinary life, but the truth is that it was as extraordinary as any because it was the life you had for him to live. It made me think about how often we live for greatness, but the reality is that, when a 70-year-old looks back on her or his life, what they see is the culmination of 25,500 days that built one on top of the other. And within each are countless moments. Sometimes we are faithful in those moments and do the right things. Sometimes we are sinful in those moments. Sometimes we suffer setbacks, and sometimes we experience those great victorious moments for which we all hope. But the overwhelming majority of our lives are made up of those small moments, decisions, and actions that make us who we are.

I woke up this morning with dread. Our nonprofit has an event coming up, and I do not like putting on events. It’s one of my least favorite things to do, and there is a lot of work to be done today. A lot of it will be thankless and tedious. Most of it will never be seen by anyone. But, with your blessing, my actions (along with the actions of others) will prayerfully combine with a lot of other actions to turn into money for our clinic. That money for our clinic will meet someone in crisis. The greatness of that moment CANNOT happen without the faithfulness in the tedious.

Father, give me the strength you need me to have to accomplish what you need me to accomplish today. Help me to do good work that is inspired by you. Help me to be energized with your spirit and attitude towards all of this. Help me to die to myself. Help me to not look for any glory for me, but to completely bring glory to you. Help me to love well. Help me to be your servant. My hope is that you will find me faithful.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Making a Pearl

11 Apr

“Over and Over Again” by Fred Smith

Dear God, I was reading Fred Smith’s blog today, which I normally do on Thursday mornings, and it got me to thinking (as it normally does). I didn’t necessarily go with it where Fred did, but his description of the new information we have about how oysters make pearls got me to thinking about age and experience.

I told someone yesterday at work that my 49th birthday is coming up, and that when the board of directors hired me in 2005 I was 35 years old. Everyone called me a child back then and I took umbrage to that because I felt very mature. I was a father with two children. I had business and nonprofit experience. I had experienced some loss. No, I was mature.

Of course, as I look back on the last 13 years, I realize that there was so much I still had to learn. But the great thing that that experience brings me is also the acceptance that there is so much I still have to learn. Over 13 years later, I have experienced heartache with children, the aging of parents and in-laws (with the loss of an in-law), failures at work, a dark time in my relationship with you when the costs on my part didn’t seem to pay enough dividends, struggles in my marriage,..

To Fred’s point, different foreign bodies/experiences penetrated my world and it has been my job to walk with you and allow those intrusions to turn into something good for not only me, but for the world around me. But now I am old enough to know that I have not arrived. I have a lifetime ahead of me still. And when I am in my 70s, I will still not have arrived. I will still be sifting and taking the intrusions that come and trying to surround them with your Spirit. Hopefully, by the end, the life that others will see will be a pearl that, while people might not remember me, will be remembered through time by the lives that I touched.

Father, two generations of my lineage from now might never know my name or anything about me, but that’s not why I’m living. I am here much like the lineages we read in the Bible, or the centuries of Israelites that were born, lived, and died in slavery in Egypt. My life is about how you use it for your purposes and the opportunity to worship you now and forever. Please walk with me to make it a pearl with which you are pleased.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2019 in Musings and Stories

 

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“Asleep in the Light” by Keith Green

30 Mar

“Asleep in the Light” by Keith Green

Do you see?
Do you see?
All the people sinking down?
Don’t you care?
Don’t you care?
Are you gonna let them drown?
How can you be so numb?!
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes,
And pretend the job is done

“oh, bless me, lord!
Bless me, lord!”
You know, it’s all I ever hear!
No one aches,
No one hurts,
No one even sheds one tear
But, he cries,
He weeps,
He bleeds,
And he cares for your needs
And you just lay back,
And keep soaking it in

Oh, can’t you see such sin?!
’cause he brings people to your door,
And you turn them away
As you smile and say,
“god bless you!
Be at peace!”
And all heaven just weep,
’cause Jesus came to your door,
You left him out on the streets

Open up! open up!
And give yourself away
You see the need,
You hear the cries,
So how can you delay?!
God is calling,
And you are the one
But like Jonah, you run
He told you to speak,
But you keep holding it in

Oh, can’t you see such sin?!
The world is sleeping in the dark,
That the church just can’t fight,
’cause it’s asleep in the light!
How can you be so dead?!
When you’ve been so well famed
Jesus rose from the grave,
And you!
You can’t even get out of bed!

Oh, Jesus rose from the dead!
Come on, get out of your bed!
How can you be so numb?!
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes,
And pretend the job is done!
You close your eyes,
And pretend the job is done!
Don’t close your eyes,
Don’t pretend the job is done

Come away! come away!
Come away with me, my love!
Come away from this mess,
Come away with me, my love!
Come away from this mess!
Come away with me, my love!
Come away,
Come away with me my love!

Dear God, I have the honor and privilege of getting to preach tomorrow to a group of people who are very precious. So what is it that you need them to hear?

As I was working through the Presbyterian church’s prescribed liturgy for this Sunday, the Old Testament reading was out of Joshua 5, which I journaled about last Sunday to kick this week off. That’s kind of set the tone for the week. The Promised Land. They had arrived. The men got circumcised and they were expected to start supplying their own food from the land–you turned off the supply of manna. Now it was time to go and take the land.

When they first left Egypt, I would imagine that they didn’t necessarily think through what going back to the Promised Land about which Moses told them would cost them. They might have seen it as their reward for years of slavery. But that wasn’t it. This was just the next chapter for them as a people. It would be hard. They would have to devote themselves to you first. They would have to fight. They would have to struggle. That is how their people would survive and how you would eventually bless the world–through Israel as a nation. As much as their lives were not about “them” while they lived generation after generation in slavery in Egypt, their lives were still not about them. They were about you. They were about your plan.

As I sat down to pray to you this morning, I wanted to clear my head and get focused so I turned to the Christian music on my iPod. I wondered what I should listen to, and I heard a nudging for Keith Green. Eventually, I landed on this song. I think it’s perfect for what I’m talking about in the spirit of taking the Promised Land. “Asleep in the light.” Isn’t that what a lot of us are? Asleep in the light? Isn’t that what I am a lot of the time?

So what will I preach tomorrow? The message is going to be that it’s time to take the land. This particular church has been in limbo through various setbacks for too long. They are now muddled in fear and frustration. They are mired in lethargy. This might sound harsh, but it feels like it’s true. They are too concerned about what is happening within their doors and not concerned enough with what is happening in the neighborhood around them. The message will be, “God has supplied you with manna and he has given you talents, but now it is time to wean yourselves from the manna and start working for your community. It is time to start taking the land. And it starts with personal commitment (see the mass circumcision in Joshua 5:2-8). What will you do to bring commit yourselves to God and bring your talents to the table? What will you do to see that this church advances into the Promised Land and doesn’t flounder in the wilderness? When will you look around and see the world around you dying?

Father, help me to do this well.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2019 in Hymns and Songs, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Uncategorized

 

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Corruption

22 Mar

No verse.

Dear God, I was talking yesterday with a young woman in her 20s who works with me. She was interviewing me for a college class assignment and she asked me about my attitudes towards the American Dream and the current ability for people to advance. It was an interesting question. Then a friend with whom I talk every week mentioned the recent scandal with the people using their money to get their children access to college. That topic kind of supported the answer I gave to the young woman.

When I was in my 20s, I didn’t really think of people here as being corrupt. I thought that was something that happened more in other countries. But we (the U.S.) have our systems in place that depend on law and order. We have our rules to prevent corruption. No, I thought there was fairness here.

Now, about 25 years later, I’ve seen plenty of corruption, both in person and through the news. Maybe I’ve even participated a little here an there unwittingly. So what does my faith in you tell me to do about this? Do I address it? Do I accept it? I honestly don’t know. As a man who has benefited from White Privilege his whole life, it is pretty easy to ignore it because I have never been at the other end of an unjust legal situation or even a cashier at the grocery store who seemingly treated me rudely because of my skin color. Therefore, I’m not terribly motivated to do anything about it. Where would I even begin to start?

Father, I’m not saying that that is the answer. I’m not saying that you are calling me to ignore corruption. Far from it. But what to do about it is something else entirely. Perhaps my role is to reach out and help those who are close to me who are victims of a corrupt system. I don’t know where you are leading me in this. Please guide my heart and show me in each moment what I should do.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Narrowing on Jesus and Widening my Love

21 Mar

No verse.

Dear God, I had a great conversation with some old friends of my wife last night, and one part of my conversation with the husband of the couple has kind of stuck with me this morning. I want to spend some time with you unpacking it a little this morning.

We were talking about loving other people who don’t believe the same things we do (religiously, politically, etc.) and he said (paraphrasing), the more I live the wider and wider my love for others gets and, simultaneously, the narrower and narrower I focus on Jesus. I really liked that, and I can relate. I know I still have a long way to go in loving others and not judging them, but I know I was better yesterday that I was the day before, and I hope I am going to be better today than I was yesterday. The more I focus on you/Jesus/the Holy Spirit (the Trinity), the more I start to see others with your eyes, and your eyes seem to be so merciful and loving. And then the ability to give that love and grace to others brings me a peace that I cannot have when I am judging them.

Father, thank you for sharpening me with some other pieces of iron yesterday. Thank you for sharpening me through my wife, my friends, and really everyone with whom you bring me into contact. Thank you for sharpening me through your scripture and through my prayer time with you. Thank you for caring enough about me to take the time to sharpen me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Taking a Tour of the Valley

11 Mar

Emails to God from July 21, 2012

Dear God, one of the benefits of doing a prayer journal is getting to go back and revisit a previous time in my life through more than just my memory. I don’t do it nearly enough, and today’s prayer journal makes me think I should do it more.

In this case, yesterday, I was thinking about the song “Mountain of God” by Third Day and I wondered if I had ever done a journal about it before. It turns out I had. It was July 21, 2012. That date immediately meant something to me. I now know it as the beginning of a five-year valley with my wife and children. I have often thought about that summer and some of the things that happened, including starting counseling with a therapist, and how it set the stage for what was to come.

Of course, at that point, I had no idea what was to come, how hard it would be, or how deep the valley would get. But it’s interesting to see how I expressed my faith in you at the time, and gratifying to be able to look back and see what you have done and what you have taught me. I made a lot of mistakes while I was in that particular valley. I continue to make them. I’m sorry for that. But I am also grateful that, while there were times when I was desperate and in tears, I never felt alone.

Father, I can almost never figure out what you are teaching me in real time, but I can sometimes get a glimpse of it in retrospect. Help me to learn what you need me to learn, understand what you need me to understand, and grow how you need me to grow. Be glorified in me and help me life to count for your glory in the lives of others.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 11, 2019 in Hymns and Songs, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 
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