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Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Narrowing on Jesus and Widening my Love

No verse.

Dear God, I had a great conversation with some old friends of my wife last night, and one part of my conversation with the husband of the couple has kind of stuck with me this morning. I want to spend some time with you unpacking it a little this morning.

We were talking about loving other people who don’t believe the same things we do (religiously, politically, etc.) and he said (paraphrasing), the more I live the wider and wider my love for others gets and, simultaneously, the narrower and narrower I focus on Jesus. I really liked that, and I can relate. I know I still have a long way to go in loving others and not judging them, but I know I was better yesterday that I was the day before, and I hope I am going to be better today than I was yesterday. The more I focus on you/Jesus/the Holy Spirit (the Trinity), the more I start to see others with your eyes, and your eyes seem to be so merciful and loving. And then the ability to give that love and grace to others brings me a peace that I cannot have when I am judging them.

Father, thank you for sharpening me with some other pieces of iron yesterday. Thank you for sharpening me through my wife, my friends, and really everyone with whom you bring me into contact. Thank you for sharpening me through your scripture and through my prayer time with you. Thank you for caring enough about me to take the time to sharpen me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 

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Taking a Tour of the Valley

Emails to God from July 21, 2012

Dear God, one of the benefits of doing a prayer journal is getting to go back and revisit a previous time in my life through more than just my memory. I don’t do it nearly enough, and today’s prayer journal makes me think I should do it more.

In this case, yesterday, I was thinking about the song “Mountain of God” by Third Day and I wondered if I had ever done a journal about it before. It turns out I had. It was July 21, 2012. That date immediately meant something to me. I now know it as the beginning of a five-year valley with my wife and children. I have often thought about that summer and some of the things that happened, including starting counseling with a therapist, and how it set the stage for what was to come.

Of course, at that point, I had no idea what was to come, how hard it would be, or how deep the valley would get. But it’s interesting to see how I expressed my faith in you at the time, and gratifying to be able to look back and see what you have done and what you have taught me. I made a lot of mistakes while I was in that particular valley. I continue to make them. I’m sorry for that. But I am also grateful that, while there were times when I was desperate and in tears, I never felt alone.

Father, I can almost never figure out what you are teaching me in real time, but I can sometimes get a glimpse of it in retrospect. Help me to learn what you need me to learn, understand what you need me to understand, and grow how you need me to grow. Be glorified in me and help me life to count for your glory in the lives of others.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 

What makes something precious?

“It was a different kind of impoverishment for men who had found fellowship in commiseration. Their ‘living thing’ with all its quirks, foibles and peculiarities had become a predictable commodity.”
Fred Smith — “A Living Thing

 

Dear God, I read Fred Smith’s weekly blog this week, and, as is not unusual, I found something in it that I want to chew on with you for a while. It revolves around this quote I pulled from it and pasted above.

It’s interesting to try and ascribe a rationale for what makes something precious to me. Why do I like what I like, love what I love, and do what I do?

I’ve often wondered what it is about the knowledge that there are two individuals out there who are my children, and that knowledge makes them mean something different to me than anyone else in the world. When they were little and performing on stage, my eye almost never left them. Not because they were that different than the other children (although, of course I thought they were the most talented) but because they were mine. I loved them and I wanted them to see what they had to show the world. I think when it comes down to it, there is something in my brain that triggers and says this person is special to me. They are my child. They are my responsibility. I’m sure you buried that down somewhere deep in me–in all of us. And like the Jaguar owners in Fred’s piece, we get to sit around the Sunday school classes, or workplaces, or dinners with friends and commiserate on how hard parenting is.

There are other things that are precious to me. My wife tops the list. In fact, she is in a special place that even my children don’t quite sit in. I chose her (as she chose me). While my children will always be my children, even if we are out of relationship, my wife and I continue to be married by choice. I’ve had the opportunity to watch her perform on stage as well, and I can say that my eye followed her the whole time too, even though she was pretty much used as a prop on the stage. But what makes her precious? I met her when she was 18 and I was 19. We fell in love (only you know why we had a special chemistry that caused that to happen), but we’ve both changed a lot since then. Staying in love and staying together means rooting for the other, even at our own expense. It means giving the other space to struggle and grow. It means dedication.

I don’t know. I don’t know that I’m really coming up with an answer to my question, “What makes something precious?” When I list the things that are precious to me, my first thoughts go to my wife and children, but then they go to my job and the work you’ve given me to do. They go really to my own life and trying to make sure that, as small and insignificant as it might be in the grand scheme of things, it is used to maximize your will being done and your kingdom coming to earth as it is in heaven. And in the spirit of Fred’s piece about his dad and the Jaguar, I have to admit that the little car I bought a year and a half ago is my most precious material possession. I love that little thing. Not because I get to enjoy it with others. In fact, I enjoy it the most when I am by myself, top down, music loud, and the RPMs between 4,000 and 6,000. But I love that car.

Father, I have a lot of work to do today. Help me to identify what is important to do next. Sometimes it will be the thing that is precious. Sometimes it will be the thing that it hard and not enjoyable. And help me to not put any of those precious things before my love and devotion to you.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 

 

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Every Life Has A Story

Dear God, I read a blog post that was shared on Facebook by a cousin. It’s one of those great reminders about judging/not judging others. It’s about remembering to at least consider the person near you might be going through something more than you understand and to give them a little latitude.

One of the things I show to new staff members and volunteers when they join our nonprofit is a Chick-fil-A training video. The video depicts all of the people in the restaurant at a given moment going about their business, but underneath it captions what’s really going on in their lives. One of the subtle things it does is show the employees as well as the customers. Yes, all of us have something going on.

Father, thank you for the reminder that I need eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart that can allow for the idea that damage done to the person next to me might be driving their behavior more than bad intentions. As I see board members this morning, my mentee at lunch, and staff, volunteers, patients, and family throughout the day help me to be a source of your peace to them. And please touch and heal my soul as well.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 27, 2019 in Miscellaneous

 

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Never Alone

“A Hand in the Flood” by Fred Smith

Dear God, I read this blog post this morning, and it made me think of the friends for whom I prayed yesterday. Then I thought about the hands that you have put there for me when I was in a desperate flood. Finally, I thought about the people who have contacted me in their own floods. None of us go through this life alone, and no self-made person did it without the generosity of someone else. No one.

Six years ago, I was completely in over my head as a father and husband. I was doing everything I could to make sense of it all. While not the saddest period of my life (that award would have to go to when my wife and I experienced a miscarriage early in our marriage), it was the time when I was the most desperate. I was flailing and looking for any branch or hand onto which I could grab. It broke me in an all new way.

One time when I was going through unemployment in 2005, a friend asked me what I thought you were teaching me through that time. I responded that I didn’t think I would know that until I was able to look back on it in retrospect. The same is trued for the last six years. Looking back, “the flood” seems smaller now than it did then. It’s a little like climbing a hill and looking back on a raging river. It doesn’t look nearly as problematic as it does when you are in the middle of it.

So what is my job today? The first thing I need to do is worship you. Regardless of my circumstances, you are worthy of my worship, and it is good for me to worship you. I did that a little in my prayer time with my wife this morning. Then I need to take each moment as it comes and remember to try to see the people and the situations with your eyes, and when I can’t do that, just try to rest in your assurance that You love us and you care. Finally, I need to either be willing to reach out to that hand that you have positioned to help me, or I need to be ready and willing to be that hand for someone else.

Father, show me what to do today. Keep me mindful of your presence, your power, and the calling you are putting on my life at any given moment. Love through me, and teach me how to receive the love of others.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2019 in Miscellaneous

 

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Praying for Sick Friends

No verse.

Dear God, I am going to take a break from my normal patter this morning and just pray about something that is on my heart: grave illness.

My wife and I were talking over breakfast about a seminar she recently attended. As part of her presentation, the speaker talked about her son being diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma when he was a young teenager. He is now 22 and, I believe, in remission, but the process of going through that pain of treatment and fear of death was obviously life-altering.

I told her about a Facebook post I read yesterday from a high school friend whose daughter is in high school and fighting cancer. I cannot imagine that kind of suffering in watching my child go through something like that. It’s one thing to experience some of the typical and even atypical things we’ve experienced as parents, but to watch your child suffer a tragic health thing and then through difficult treatments must be brutal.

One of the things I said this morning is that it is one thing to say, “Well, if I got so sick that only radical treatments would save me, then I would just not get the treatment and accept my impending death.” It’s another thing to 1.) actually be faced with that decision, but 2.) even more so to have to make that decision with your minor child. At some point, I would think that CPS and the courts might even take that decision out of your hands. I don’t know. I can’t even wrap my head around it.

Father, the amazing thing about you is that you CAN wrap your head around it. You know all of this and what is going to happen. Thankfully, this high school friend is a believer and follower of you. She can see your mercies and grace in the midst of pain. I want to pray for her this morning. I want to pray for her entire family. And I want to pray for her daughter. Please be in the midst of this situation. Please make their path straight. Please heal. According to your will, Father, please flood this family with your presence, your peace, your mercy, and your healing. I also want to pray for another friend who is older than me and announced a couple of nights ago that he has elected to stop treatments for his disease and go on hospice. Flood him and his wife too. Help them to bathe in the presence of the Holy Spirit. Help them to float in your grace and joy. As your eyes move to and fro throughout the earth, strongly support them because I know their hearts are completely yours.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2019 in Miscellaneous

 

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Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups by Ned Bustard

Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups by Ned Bustard

Dear God, I came in this room this morning expecting to continue on with my series on Peter and John when I found the book of an artist I met this weekend. He has taken different pieces of biblical art from various artists (including his own) and compiled them with the stories they portray. I really liked the guy and I had been wanting to pick up his book to check it out.

I just flipped it open, and the page I turned to struck me immediately. The art piece was titled “Isaac Blesses Jacob.” I didn’t even have to read the corresponding verses. I just wanted to dive into the picture, which was done by Wayne Forte. After only a couple of moments, I noticed so much in the picture (I should mention that this image is copyrighted and I hope that my publishing it here isn’t a violation of a copyright by him or Square Halo Books):

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* The goat skin on Jacob’s arms
* Esau in the background has hair on his arms
* The food is prepared while Esau is still hunting
* Rebekah is looking on, not only approving of the deception, but leading/participating
* Isaac is in bed, weak and gullible

And that’s just with a cursory look. If a picture is worth a thousand words, I’ll bet I could spend some time with this one image and come up with well over 1,000 words on what you might be saying to be about this story through the artists.

I am sorry for underestimating art for so much of my life. My wife helped to expand my horizons a bit, but it was my daughter being involved in theater that really made me appreciate the value of art in human development. And I might think, “Hey, I’m 48. I am already developed.” Well, obviously I’m not. My daughter needed it while she was growing up, but I need it too. You are still teaching me. I’m still growing.

Father, use whatever you need to use to reveal yourself to me. It might be a conversation, a secular song, a thought that passes through my head while I’m in the shower that you don’t want me to forget, or the things you have revealed to others that they can share with me. Put me in a position to hear, see, and understand, and then help me to not miss you in both the sacred and the secular that is around me.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 

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Division and Grace

Dear God, I heard/read a couple of things this week that are coming together into a complete thought.

This morning I read Fred Smith’s blog post called “The Great Wave of Schism.” It it he talked about the small cracks that form between us that eventually become breaks. It made me think of something that you taught me years ago. Causing division between people is Satan’s Plan A and he rarely needs a Plan B. It started with him causing division between you and Adam and Eve. It moved on to Cain and Abel and continues to this day. Right now our nation is unbelievably divided and our leadership is not helping. It feels like the trench warfare of WWI. Everyone is dug in. No one will advance and a lot of damage will be done.

Earlier this week I heard a sermon by Andy Stanley about the grace and justice that Jesus brought to the table. Frankly, I think it was the best sermon I’ve ever heard on describing your balance of grace and mercy. While I read Fred’s piece this morning, the thought occurred to me that grace and mercy are your Plan A to combat Satan’s Plan A, and you rarely need a Plan B.

Father, I’m glad you are the one that I serve. I know I fail. I know I can be part of divisions. I know I fail your sense of justice and I fall short of your glory. But your grace restores me to wholeness with you and then that experience enables me to extend grace to others. Help me to be a carrier of your grace into the world today.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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Sacred Marriage

Dear God, I read this great book on marriage a few years ago called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The subtitle is, “What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?” I went through it in a men’s group that I was in and, as I recall, it has about 12 chapters and the second to last one dealt with sex. I must admit that we stopped after the sex chapter so he was smart to put it towards the end.

Anyway, it was the best marriage book I’ve ever read. The concept was simple. We enter marriage thinking about what wants/needs we have will get met. For example, in my case, she will make me happy, take care of me, and always make me feel good because she makes me feel good now. The lens through which we are looking is always our own. How do I see the world and how is the world (in the example of my marriage, my spouse) impacting me and what I think I deserve? I’ve talked about this recently in terms of the levels of faith that Job goes through. This book is saying that my marriage, ultimately, is not about what I think I deserve but what God wants to teach me about loving and serving others.

I say all of this because my parents celebrated their 50th anniversary on Thursday. When I spoke with them on the phone, there were jokes about the three separations they had that total more than a year when combined. When they got engaged they were from two different worlds. One was from deep poverty and one was more lower middle class. One dropped out of high school and had already been married with two children while the other was just graduating college and had never been married. The college graduate’s parents were not pleased. They were nervous for their child. They tried to talk the child out of it. They saw problems that the child couldn’t see. And, frankly, in one respect, my grandparents were right. But in another one, they were wrong.

You have used this path to teach my parents things that they might never have learned otherwise. It was through the first separation that one became a Christian. It was through the second one that the other became a Christian. And it was through the third one that you taught them to love each other at a deeper level. They also learned about how to interact with the world through the other. The one from poverty taught the other how to appreciate everyone from all walks of life. The middle class one showed the other a world where conflicts can be resolved beyond fight or flight. The list of what they taught each other is long.

For my own marriage and children, you have used my wife to make me so much better. I wouldn’t be as physically healthy as I am without her gentle influence. I wouldn’t be as broadly read and knowledgeable about world event without her. I wouldn’t have experienced my faith in you in the same way. Frankly, I could type all day about how you used her to make me more holy. You’ve done the same through me with my children. I am one of the least judgmental people when it comes to judging other parents because I have been humbled by my own shortcomings. I have also learned how to love more deeply through them.

Father, I am proud of my parents today, and there is a lesson for me to learn about the paths you have for us. The lesson is that I do not know what is best for me, my wife, or my children. What looks like disaster on paper might just be the path you have. So I look to you for my children’s paths. I pray that you will guide them in every way. Guide them beyond my limited wisdom. When I was praying with my wife this morning I told her that I truly believe that you are answering our prayers for them whether we can see them or not. And I pray for my parents and the years/decades they have left together. And I pray for my wife and me. Guide us and use us for your glory, not our own.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 

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Getting My Head in the Right Place

No verse.

Dear God, in three hours from now I’ll be preaching. I’ve spent the week looking at the scriptures I believe you’ve led me to. I’ve prayed. I’ve prepared. Now, I just need to get myself as much into your presence as I can. Everything is nothing without the Holy Spirit guiding each word I say and action I take.

If one takes it seriously, there’s a lot of pressure when you get up in front of a church and give the weekly sermon. The most pressure I’ve ever felt is speaking at someone’s funeral because this is the one time that the family gets to bury and formally memorialize their loved one. I’ve officiated two funerals and I felt a tremendous pressure for both. But preaching on Sunday is a close second. Why? Well, this is an opportunity for you to speak to your church, and this week they chose me to be your conduit.

I think my first priority is to not preach heresy. This is a little tricky because I am not a trained theologian. I don’t know all of the Greek and Hebrew to go back and dig into the etymology of every word myself. I rely on the translators of the NIV, NLT, and NASB to get me to the meaning of the text. But beyond that, I could take the passages today and make them say what I want to say. For example, the main passage today is the Books of Job. If I wanted to, I could easily go Prosperity Gospel with it and point out to people that when Job finally figured out the lesson you had for him he got rich again. But I don’t personally believe that is the message you have for us. Then again, perhaps my own biases are getting in the way of what you are saying and perhaps you are saying that. See what I mean? Preaching heresy is very easy to do because I am tainted by my own experiences, the things I’ve been taught during the course of my life, and the biases I have.

The other thing is to not make this a waste of their time. The people in that room made a decision, for whatever reason, to get up this morning, get dressed, and come to worship you. This effort should be rewarded with a touch from you. One time after I preached this summer, a man came up to me and said, “I feel like I’ve been to church today.” I felt so relieved!

Finally, I have to tune into you enough to say the words you want them to hear. I have to be your conduit. No glory for me (which I love it when there is glory for me), but only glory for you. No honor for me, but only honor for you. No love for me, but only love for you. I must decrease so that you can increase. Help me to decrease this morning.

Father, grant me your presence. Love through me. Help me to be completely selfless. Help me to learn the lessons of the sermon you have helped me to prepare. I submit myself to the Holy Spirit as much as I am capable. Holy Spirit, please flow through that church today. Flow through each heart. And if this sermon is only for one person in the room, give that person ears to hear–all for your glory, honor, and praise.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 28, 2018 in Miscellaneous