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Category Archives: Miscellaneous

The Value in Suffering

03 Oct

The son of one of the nouveau riche, Francis of Assisi, was raised as a spoiled and privileged young man. Imprisoned for a year for being on the losing side of a war with a rival city, his friends noticed a change. He found a little abandoned church and spent whole days there praying. He renounced his inheritance and all claims on his family. 

From “The Inconvenient Elder” by Fred Smith

Dear God, I read Fred Smith’s blog this morning and, while this wasn’t the point of his peace at all, something struck me. It was a follow-up thought to a conversation I had with a friend yesterday. Suffering is an important tool that you use to teach us and help us grow.

In Francis’s case, I knew that he had renounced his family’s wealth out of devotion to you, but I didn’t know that his transformation included a year in prison. Apparently, he got arrested being part of a military expedition (prisoner of war?) and this changed his life. In his older life, I’m sure he regretted his participation in the military expedition, but I also wonder if he was ultimately grateful for the fruit of that suffering. It changed his life.

Isn’t it funny? We all know that the only way we grow is through struggle and yet we do everything we can to avoid it personally, and our temptation is to interfere with our children’s lives so that they will avoid it too. I’m as guilty as anyone. Maybe not as much in my personal life, but certainly at work. I like to build a very comfortable, low-stress environment, sometimes at the expense of expanding our services. I talk a good game, but does my reality reflect what I say I believe?

Father, make me sensitive to any action you’re calling me to. Maybe it will mean struggle for me. Maybe you’re calling our nonprofit to grow and serve more, but my fear keeps it small. Maybe I let my ego and desire to get the approval of others keep me from pushing the envelope. I’m sorry. Give me your vision and the courage to follow it. And please bless my path, not for my comfort, but so that others will be served from you working in my life.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Just Praise

26 Sep

No verse.

Dear God, I come to you this morning just in worship. You have done so much for me, but even if you hadn’t, you would still be my God. You would still the God. You aren’t worthy of my praise because of what you do for me. You are worthy of praise because you are. You told Moses to refer to you to Pharaoh as “I Am.” Well, yes, Father, you are and I love you for it.

Thank you for life. Thank you for giving me a role to play in your world. Thank you for giving me people to love, work to do, and mercy for when I fail you. Thank you for an unbelievably amazing planet on which to live. Even in drought we can have food to eat. Even in floods there is a place to go.

Thank you for the people you have put into my life. Thank you for how you have made me better through my wife, my son, my daughter, my father, my mother, my brother, my sister, my in-laws, my grandparents, my friends, my coworkers over the years, pastors and Bible teachers through the years, and your Holy Spirit.

I am not the man I was yesterday, nor am I yet who I will be tomorrow. Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you, Father.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 26, 2019 in Miscellaneous

 

Friendship

18 Sep

A few years ago, a colleague mentioned to me that he was going to meet with David Brooks, the New York Times columnist and author of some of my favorite books. I gave my colleague an assignment: “Ask him what he would do with several million dollars. What does he think the world really needs right now?”

A few weeks later, David published his answer in the New York Times, which really surprised me. His answer surprised me, too: “…friendship is not in great shame in America today [so]…I’d try to set up places that would cultivate friendships.”

Why? Friends help each other make good decisions. They bring out the best in each other. They hold each other accountable.

Good friends help each other become better people.

David Rogers, President, H.E. Butt Foundation
Echoes Vol. 4, No. 3

Dear God, I was trying to think of what I wanted to talk to you about this morning when I sat down to breakfast and I saw the latest issue of the H.E. Butt Foundation’s magazine/newsletter on the table. I opened it up with the intent of being inspired, and the first thing I saw on the inside cover was David Rogers’s editorial on the inside cover. The importance of friendship seemed like something good to pray to you about.

Friendships have been harder to achieve as an adult than I thought they would be. It is so easy to isolate. Even when I’m out in public, it is easy to have a hundred casual relationships that at one level are friends, but they certainly aren’t on a deeper level.

I suppose I’m grateful not only for my wife, but also for a friend with whom I visit every week on the phone. We share our lives with each other. We talk about accountability issues. I wish he lived closer, but, on the other hand, if he lived closer would we make the time to visit like we do now? Is the distance actually good for us in how we discipline ourselves to visit?

I don’t know how many levels of friendships there are, but let’s say I break it simply into three: Superficial, Moderate, and Deep. Superficial are the relationships I have with most of the people in this town. They know me, but they don’t really know me. And I’m the same way with them. Moderate friendships are like the ones in my church group. They are people with whom my wife and I meet once a month and we talk about our lives in those settings, but we don’t really see each other outside of that. Then there are the deep friendships, of which I only have a couple. I’m grateful for them, but I wonder if I shouldn’t have more.

Father, help me to find the relationships you want me to have so that you can use me in other men’s lives and so that you can use them in mine. Help us to sharpen each other so that we might be the men you need us to be for our families, our work, and our community. And most of all, for your glory.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Suicide Prevention Month

07 Sep

Dear God, I was scanning through The Athletic for some college football news (it’s Saturday, after all) and I found this video series on Suicide in college athletics and what some schools are doing to address mental health. I’ve put a link there. Since it is a pay site, I don’t know if people will be able to click on it or not. I would hope that that The Athletic would make the series freely available.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about suicide. It must pain you to see us in such pain. When you’re watching people attempt or succeed in taking their lives, are you weeping? I imagine you are. Our lives are so precious. Our time here is so short. It must be maximized, at least to some extent. To cut it short for any reason seems like a slap in the face.

But having been around enough people who have struggled, I can see how people would get to the point where they just give up. I never considered myself suicidal at the time, but looking back to some of the struggles I went through six years ago, I can tell you that there were times when I was on a bike ride that I would think that if a car were to hit me then the pain I was experiencing would be over. Even typing that makes it sound much more stark or powerful than the thought felt at the time. I would actually compare it more to the little thoughts Satan plants to tempt us. “Hey, wouldn’t it be nice.” No, sorry, Satan. You can’t get rid of me that easily. But he must have sensed that I was at a weak moment to throw that at me.

I’d like to sit here and come up with what is going through people’s minds when they are suicidal and then think about your response, but the truth is that I don’t know. I know that, for my own mental health, the best things that I do include these prayer journals to you and exercise. I know that when I put myself in the mindset that “I consider my life worth nothing to me,” (Acts 20:24a) then I start looking for ways to use my life for your glory and not give up because there is no glory for me. I know that when I am feeling good physically and getting the right hormones going through my brain then the brain you gave me responds and clears up a lot of bad thinking. You designed our bodies for motion and activity. You designed us to move, give, love, and serve. If we aren’t doing those things then our bodies will not respond correctly.

Of course, I’m not trying to minimize clinical depression or other forms of mental illness. I know that it’s not always as easy as just saying a prayer and hopping on a bicycle for some situations. But I also think that we are over consuming antidepressants in our country simply through lethargy and selfish, self-indulgent lifestyles.

Father, I pray over my own mental health, the mental health of my family, and the mental health of those who are in my sphere. Help me to be a source of your love and hope to them. I will spend some time with a friend later who is walking a dark road. Help me to know what to say and how to be there for him. Help me to love him. Help me to reveal your essence to him.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Revelation

05 Sep

Dear God, I was speaking to a young man in my office yesterday who is heavily influenced by pastors that focus on the rapture and tribulation. He gave me a website to check out and a DVD to view. I watched a little of the DVD and looked at the cover of the website. I’m thinking about writing the young man today with my thoughts.

My first thought is that any time anyone around Jesus was afraid he told them to fear not. Jesus didn’t sell his message using fear. He offered mercy. If I believe what I say I believe and if I share that with others then the rapture and the tribulation will take care of themselves. My job isn’t to scare anyone into Heaven. That isn’t much of a sales pitch anyway.

While we were in my office, he referenced the fruits of the Spirit and said that the first one is love. I agreed with him, but then we listed through the others and I tried to point out peace to him. I’ve told you this many times before, but peace is the one thing that I can’t fake. I can pretty much put up a facade and fake the other fruits. To other people, I can make myself look loving, joyful, kind, gentle, etc., but I am unable to fake peace. When I am truly in you is when I am at peace, and if I am not following you then I have no peace.

Father, I could go on and on, but I guess the thing I really want to say is that I am grateful that you take away all my fear. Your love drives out all my fear. (1 John 4:18). I don’t have to fear the rapture, the tribulation, a one world government or the anti-Christ because you are my God. You have this. I am in you and you are in me. You gave me a great bridge to reach you through coming to earth through the part of your essence that is your son, Jesus, and showed me not only how much you love me, but also how to love and live. Thank you for all of this. I need you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2019 in 1 John, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Revelation

 

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Just a Prayer

02 Sep

Dear God, sometimes I forget to just spend some time with you. I was sitting here this morning trying to think of what scripture/song/image/story to use as a starting point for my journal and then I thought, “What if you just talk to God without any of that stuff?” Hmm. Interesting concept.

Of course, there are concerns on my heart, but I don’t want to start this prayer there. I want to start by simply saying that I trust you. And when I don’t trust you, I really intend to trust you. I have said this many times before, but I’m like that father asking you to heal his son: “I believe. Help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:24) Father, I trust you. Help my distrust. Help me to accept the fact that you are doing things I cannot see and that your plans are good. When I am disappointed that my prayers are seemingly going unanswered, help me to let go of what I think the answers should be.

I’d also like to say that I’m sorry for my hubris. I’m sorry that I think too much of myself and what I have to offer you. I’m sorry for sinning. I’m sorry for coveting, lying, lusting, and lethargy. I’m sorry that sometimes I feel sorry for myself. I’m sorry that, even for brief moments in my heart, I complain to you. I’m sorry that I don’t always bring my burdens to you, but try to solve things on my own. I’m sorry for judging others instead of trying to see them with your eyes and loving them. I’m sorry for being downright selfish. Thank you for making a bridge for me to reach you through all of my pain and using that bridge to make me a better man.

In talking about trusting you and complaining about my circumstance, I’m reminded of your words to Job in Job 38 when you say:

It’s funny, but after praying all of that about trust and repentance

“Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Who determined its dimensions and stretched out the surveying line? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? “Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and wrapped it in thick darkness? For I locked it behind barred gates, limiting its shores. I said, ‘This far and no farther will you come. Here your proud waves must stop!’ “Have you ever commanded the morning to appear and caused the dawn to rise in the east? Have you made daylight spread to the ends of the earth, to bring an end to the night’s wickedness? As the light approaches, the earth takes shape like clay pressed beneath a seal; it is robed in brilliant colors. The light disturbs the wicked and stops the arm that is raised in violence. “Have you explored the springs from which the seas come? Have you explored their depths? Do you know where the gates of death are located? Have you seen the gates of utter gloom? Do you realize the extent of the earth? Tell me about it if you know! “Where does light come from, and where does darkness go? Can you take each to its home? Do you know how to get there? But of course you know all this! For you were born before it was all created, and you are so very experienced!
Job 38:2-21

Oh, how I hope you never have to speak that way to me (again). I know you’ve had cause to in the past because I have grumbled against you. I am truly sorry.

It’s interesting how starting a prayer talking about trusting you regardless of my situation and repenting changes the rest of the prayer. Yes, I have a list of supplications I’d like to bring to you, but they seem wrong now. I have children, nieces and nephews, siblings, and parents on my heart. I have work. I have friends. All of these things are on my heart. Some of them are tragic and some are in life-threatening situations. But in the grand scheme of your sovereignty and your plan, the prayers for solving these various issues seem wrong. No, what I want to pray for is that you will bring all of us into perfect relationship with you, and that you will make any pain that is being suffered by someone count. Don’t let it return void, but use it for your glory.

Father, that is my prayer today. It’s largely the Lord’s Prayer. My Father in Heaven. Hallowed be your name. May your kingdom come and will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give me this day my daily bread, and forgive me of my sins as I forgive those that sin against me. And lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil. For the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours forever and ever.

It is in Jesus’s name and the power of what he did that I dare to approach you and pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2019 in Job, Mark, Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Labor of Love” by Fred Smith

25 Jul

“Labor of Love” by Fred Smith

Dear God, every once in a while Fred Smith will write a blog that sparks something in me that I feel like I need to pray through. His post today is one of those times.

I was part of a committee a couple of years ago that always seemed like a waste of time. My criticism of it was that the woman leading it seemed to go out of her way to make it not be an imposition on the members, but in doing so she made it feel more like a waste of time. It felt like I was just killing an hour at the meeting.

The same can be true of a lot of things, and I can be guilty of it as well. One of the problems with our board meetings for the nonprofit where I work is that the board members can feel like they have too little to do. They come and hear book reports about what the staff is doing, either bless it or give some constructive criticism on how it can be better, and then they move on. We’ve worked over the last couple of years to make the meetings more engaging so that everyone feels the joy of their involvement here.

On the other side of the equation, I got a thank you card from a volunteer yesterday. I had sent her a note thanking her for coming to help on a special project and she replied:

Thank you for your kind letter. It is I who should thank you though. Putting tabs on the newsletter was good “therapy” for me–doing something useful, getting me away from Mom’s move to Fredericksburg, and delightful conversation with you and Carol…I am happy to help when I can.

And I know all of this. I know that I get more joy in giving and working than I get from taking and receiving. In fact, I think that it is actually awkward for most of us to receive from others and ask them to do things. That’s probably why we try to make it as easy and convenient as possible.

Father, help me to remember this lesson today. Help me to remember to, first, demand the best of myself. Then help me to lovingly expect the best of the staff and volunteers here at our nonprofit. Help me to continue to lovingly hold my children to a high standard. Keep me from getting in the way of how you are developing them as adults. And help me to spread your joy to all around me so that others might be drawn to you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2019 in Miscellaneous

 

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The Holy Spirit in our Daily Lives

07 Jun

Dear God, as I read the story of Pentecost, I couldn’t help but take the “It’s a Wonderful Life” take on the story and wonder what our lives would be like if you didn’t send your Holy Spirit to us. What if Pentecost never happened? To reset the stage, Jesus has just ascended and all they are left with is the Old Testament and their memories of Jesus. They weren’t sure what to do next. In fact, they were so directionless, they decided that one of their priorities was to replace Judas (Acts 1:15-26). Without the Holy Spirit filling the 12 of them (we’ll assume Matthias, the newly appointed apostle was among those at Pentecost), would they have just stayed in their room? Would thousands have been reached that day through Peter’s preaching?

So we have the Holy Spirit, and I think that the modern church completely underestimates his role in our lives. Even in the apostles’ creed, he gets only a brief mention:

I believe in God, the Father almighty,
creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord.
He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit
and born of the virgin Mary.
He suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended to the dead.
On the third day he rose again.
He ascended into heaven,
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit,
the holy catholic Church,
the communion of the saints,
the forgiveness of sins,
the resurrection of the body,
and the life everlasting. Amen.

The Nicene Creed is somewhat better:

I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds; God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God; begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father, by whom all things were made.
Who, for us men for our salvation, came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures; and ascended into heaven, and sits on the right hand of the Father; and He shall come again, with glory, to judge the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end.
And I believe in the Holy Ghost, the Lord and Giver of Life; who proceeds from the Father [and the Son]; who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; who spoke by the prophets.
And I believe one holy catholic and apostolic Church. I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins; and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.

So let me try to try to figure out through scripture what the Holy Spirit has done, currently does and will continue to do for your people and your world.

First, it’s important to note that this is not just a post-Jesus thing to have the Holy Spirit involved with humanity.

  • Psalm 51:11 (the one David wrote after he was confronted by Nathan about Bathsheba). Davis asks that your Holy Spirit not be taken from him.
  • Isaiah 63:10 & 11. Both verses mention you taking and imparting your Holy Spirit from and to your people.

Part of what makes your existence mind-blowing is that you want to be among us and involved in our lives. You want us to know you and you want to know us. You cared that the life of Jesus moved beyond those 12 apostles and you sent your presence to not only indwell them, but as I saw a couple of days ago, you intend to send it to everyone who calls on you. A part of your essence is always with your creation. It’s amazing.

So let’s look at what the Bible says about what the Holy Spirit’s role is in our lives:

  • John 14:26 – Teach us and help us remember. “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you.” 
  • John 15:26-27 – Testify about Jesus and help us testify. “When the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, that is the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify about Me, 27and you will testify also, because you have been with Me from the beginning.”
  • John 16:7-11 – Convict us. “But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.
  • John 16:13-15; Mark 13:11; Luke 12:12 – Guide us with God’s direction and for God’s glory.  “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me, for He will take of Mine and will disclose it to you. 15 All things that the Father has are Mine; therefore I said that He takes of Mine and will disclose it to you.” / “When they arrest you and hand you over, do not worry beforehand about what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour; for it is not you who speak, but it is the Holy Spirit.” / “…for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” 
  • Acts 4:31 – Boldness. And when they had prayed, the place where they had gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled wi thte Holy Spirit and began to speak the word of God with boldness.
  • Acts 7:55-56 – Peace in the storm. But being full of the Holy Spirit, he gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God; 56 and he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
  • Acts 9:31 – Comfort. So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria enjoyed peace, being built up; and going on in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it continued to increase.
  • Acts 19:6; 1 Corinthians 12:7-11 – Gifts such as tongues, prophesying and healing. And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began speaking with tongues and prophesying. / Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.
  • Romans 15:13 – Hope. Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will about in the hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
  • Romans 8:26-27 – Intercession. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

So in summary, the Holy Spirit’s role in my life and in our world is to teach me (us); testify about Jesus to me (us) and through me (us); convict me (us); guide me (us); intercede in prayer for me (us); and give me (us) boldness, peace, comfort, gifts, and hope.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, please help me to make room in my heart to receive all of these things from you. Help me to live in this victory so that my life is fully yours and I will never miss you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

 
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Posted by on June 7, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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God’s Inspirations

23 May

Dear God, I was speaking to a group of youth yesterday about the nonprofit where I work and I talked about how you take small seeds of ideas and grown them. In 1986, you led a woman to start doing some medical clinics with some missionaries in Northern Mexico. Six years later, you inspired her to start doing a one-night-a-week free clinic for people in the town where she lived. Ten years later, you inspired her and others to build on that and create a facility that would be a medical home for people. Now, 17 years later, what started as going to Mexico to help some people in 1986 has turned into a four-day-a-week clinic that has medical, dental, and mental health counseling services and a million dollar budget. Your blessing has been obvious, and I am grateful that your presence is still there. I wanted to show these high school students that big things can start from small seeds. They just need faith and patience.

I saw this video about the H.E. Butt Family Foundation Camp this morning. It made me think of the same thing—100 years ago a poor boy in Kerrville, Texas, promised himself that if he ever had enough money he would give kids an opportunity to experience nature. As he grew, he grew the family’s general store into a huge supermarket chain called H-E-B. In the early 50s, he and his wife found nearly 2,000 acres to purchase. From there they built camps for children and eventually an adult lodge for retreats. I am one of the beneficiaries of the seed you planted in his mind 100 years ago.

The H. E. Butt Family Foundation has impacted my life more than anything else. If you take away Howard Butt, Sr.’s vision and followthrough on that vision, I don’t know where I am right now.

  1. They hired my dad as a part-time bookkeeper in 1969 when he was in the Army and needing supplemental income to support his family.
  2. Nine years later, when my parents were separated, the man who hired him all those years ago invited him and my mom to a marriage retreat at which my father prayed to accept Christ and my after which my parents got back together.
  1. When I was 12, my dad came home from a retreat there and told me about a man he had med, Henry Parrish, who coached tennis. Through Henry, I got involved in Fellowship of Christian Athletes which had a huge impact on how I came to be a discipling Christian.
  1. When I was 19, I was a camp counselor at one of the youth camps and met my wife there.
  1. I have been to numerous retreats over the last 27 years, and there have been times you have completely inspired me, including the retreat in April 2000 when you inspired me to start this prayer journal.

All of this started because someone had the seed of an inspiration. He didn’t think about how you would use that ranch for discipleship development or anything like that. He just wanted to offer kids the opportunity to experience nature. You took it from there.

Father, help men to heed your little nudgings and inspirations. Help me to not miss the seeds you want me to plant or that you want to plant in me. Give me the faith and the patience to do the work that is in front of me and then watch you grow it into what you have for it to be.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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You Just Never Know

15 May

Dear God, I was talking with my wife this morning over breakfast about a young couple in their 20s. They were married just three years ago, and have already experienced some surprising setbacks.

The wife was in college in another state when they married and she was almost done with her degree. It was a specialty college that offered something no one else does. She had invested years in their program. Then, shortly after they got married, the college shut down. She was left with no degree and no one to honor the work she had already done. She was a square one.

They moved back to Texas and then the husband contracted a serious disease that will limit his ability to work for the rest of his life. Now she is working retail and the primary earner in their family while he tries to find work he can do. She is trying to climb the career ladder at the retailer where she works. They are about to move to another town where there will be more advancement opportunities within that company.

Just three short years ago, on their wedding day, I’m sure they never would have guessed where they would be in the summer of 2019. That made me think of this picture that I saw on Facebook this morning.

The man in the picture runs a large nonprofit in a low-income area of a city in Texas. I don’t know the woman, but he describes her in the picture. I know of just one or two of the tragedies that he and his wife have been through over the years. I know the woman only through this post, but this line struck me: “…we lamented the pain of and struggles of our lives.” Not that there hasn’t been good in each life. Great things have obviously happened. But there has been unplanned pain and struggle. After all, how can we possibly plan for the pain our lives will experience?

My wife and I are coming up on the 30-year anniversary of when we met. I was 19 and she was 18. We had no idea what the future held for us, but I can tell you that neither of us thought we would be where we are now in 30 years. And where we are is remarkably good, but it has also, despite our best efforts to follow you and live the way we feel called to live, brought tremendous pain. That’s life.

I’ve told you before that I was very disappointed in you a few years ago. I felt like you had let me down and hadn’t lived up to your end of the bargain for the faith I had put in you. But I’ve learned. I’ve slowly decreased in my own eyes and allowed you to increase. I’ve learned to give of myself and not take. I sang songs in church that “it’s all about you” and “it’s not about me,” but I didn’t really know how to live that.

Father, I’m still learning. I still feel sorry for myself sometimes. I still don’t appreciate just how good I’ve had it. And I still think way too hard about planning out and controlling my future instead of just staying in the moment with you. That will be my ultimate arrival in my growth, I think. When I learn to not look to the future, but am consistently completely in the present with you. Help me to continue to get there. And thank you for everything–even the pain.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 
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