Dear God, I listened to this podcast a couple of days ago, and the question alone is one of those things that I figure is an unsolveable mystery. Do my supplications change your mind? Do they empower you? Do they make you stronger? Do they influence you? Here are some random thoughts I’ve had of things I’ve heard or read over the years:
- I remember a scene from the movie Shadowlands. It is about C.S. “Jack” Lewis and the lost of his wife Joy. Anthony Hopkins is playing Jack, and a friend is trying to comfort him and talking about prayer. Friend: “I know how hard you’ve been praying. Now God is answering your prayer.” Lewis: “That’s not why I pray, Harry. I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time. Waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me.” I’ve never forgotten that. But is that how it works?
- I thought of Jesus’s parable about the persistent Widow. I think, in fact, this might be the most important thing I’m about to say–of course it is. It’s from Jesus:
- 18 One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up. 2 “There was a judge in a certain city,” he said, “who neither feared God nor cared about people. 3 A widow of that city came to him repeatedly, saying, ‘Give me justice in this dispute with my enemy.’ 4 The judge ignored her for a while, but finally he said to himself, ‘I don’t fear God or care about people, 5 but this woman is driving me crazy. I’m going to see that she gets justice, because she is wearing me out with her constant requests!’” 6 Then the Lord said, “Learn a lesson from this unjust judge. 7 Even he rendered a just decision in the end. So don’t you think God will surely give justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will grant justice to them quickly! But when the Son of Man returns, how many will he find on the earth who have faith?”
- This seems to contradict what Lewis said in Shadowlands. It seems that Jesus thinks we can influence you with our persistence. Jesus thinks you are moveable. Or is that what he’s really saying?
- I think about the book by Frank Peretti called This Present Darkness. I don’t think there is any–and I mean ANY–theological/biblical basis for this, but when were were seeing the spiritual warfare in this book, your angels would get strong when they were fighting them demons when the Christians were praying. The prayers were some kind of power infuser that loosed your power through them–kind of like Popeye and his spinach. Your people prayed and your angels got stronger. I have no idea where he got that, but I can tell you it’s had an influence, right or wrong, on my prayers.
- I think about Jesus in John 14 telling us whatever we ask for in his name, you will do for us.
- 12 “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. 13 You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. 14 Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it!
- But here’s the last one I will bring up. The time you told Jesus, “No.” The time you didn’t answer his request. But there was a key to it. It was a key that Job learned by the end of his story: Not my will, but your will be done. Luke 22:
- 39 Then, accompanied by the disciples, Jesus left the upstairs room and went as usual to the Mount of Olives. 40 There he told them, “Pray that you will not give in to temptation.” 41 He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, 42 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” 43 Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. 44 He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.
Jesus really wanted to be spared from what was about to happen. That’s one way I know his divinity didn’t protect him from the pain. He was sweating blood. While still submitting to you, he was still pleading with you. I wonder if this scene shouldn’t be the model of my prayers. It’s a model of fitting what we want into the box of what you know we need.
So can my prayers change your mind? Can they strengthen you? Can that spur you into action in a way that you wouldn’t have otherwise acted? I think the answer is vague and ultimately not understandable with my limited human mind. I think our prayers are largely about forming us and our relationship with you. You are our Father, and you want us to communicate with you. So when I see the ambulance drive by and I say a prayer for the victim they are going to help. When my coworker texts me at 8:00 on a Saturday evening and says her daughter is in the ER and my wife and I pray for her daughter. When I am at a football game and a player is knocked out for several minutes and I pray for him while the physicians work. When I pray for Ukraine, Russia, Israel, Iran, Palestine, the President, my wife, my children, my family, my friends, my work…what are those prayers doing? Well, first, they are forming me. They are growing my compassion and love. They are encouraging me to care about others and worship you. And as far as you’re concerned, the best I can figure is that there is something in my relationship with you that is happening for you in your timelessness that I just can’t understand. You are interested in loving me in the moment in time where I am currently existing, and you are interested me loving you. You want to give me those good things, but you also know the structure of the whole world, the time it is experiencing, the events that are happening, and how they will fit together. When a butterfly flaps its wings in the southern hemisphere, you don’t figure out how it will cause a storm in the northern hemisphere. You already know. You don’t chew your nails, as I heard someone put it once. You don’t fret. You know how all this goes and works out.
Father, I’m here to worship you right now. I’m here to pray. I’m here to be formed. I’m here to be changes. You know the pain I have. The pain my wife has. We even talked a little about our pain this morning. Help her to heal. Help me to heal. Bring your peace. Bring your love, and I’ll bring you the little bit of love that I have to give. My love compared to yours feels like a preschool child bringing home an art project for their parent. It’s ridiculous and imperfect, but it’s made with good intentions. And it’s yours. Thank you for it being enough. And in the meantime, I’ll keep praying until I’m on there other side. Then you’ll teach me how to exist there as well.
I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Amen
