28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30
Dear God, what an interesting thing for Jesus to say. He didn’t say, “You best be gettin’ to work!” Yes, he raised the standard on a lot of things. He equated hate to murder. He loathed selfishness. But his lead-off hitter was peace.
I’ve quoted this song many times in these prayers, but the song “Peace” by Rich Mullins comes to mind this morning. The chorus: “May peace rain down from heaven like little pieces of the sky. Little keepers of the promise falling on these souls the drought has dried. In his blood and in his body. In this bread and in this wine. Peace to you. Peace of Christ to you.”
That’s my prayer for my wife and children this morning. For my parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews. For my coworkers, our clients, and then my friends. I pray that they burdens be lifted, their wounds be healed, any secrets locking them up would be revealed for your glory’s sake, and for you to ultimately enter the world through them. And do the same with me. Let your peace fall on me as I go through this day. Help me to carry that peace to others.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. 3 You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. 4 You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. 5 You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
7 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! 8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. 9 If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, 10 even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. 11 I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— 12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.
Psalm 139:1-12
Dear God, I am grateful for your love. I am grateful to be known by you. I am grateful that I cannot hide from you. I’m grateful to know you see my sin–to be freed from the idea that I need to hide things from you. I might cling to my sin. I might deny it’s there and not want to let it go. But I know there’s no point in trying to hide it from you. There’s great freedom in that.
The gospel reading today is from Luke 17 and includes verse 3b-4: “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” I accept your rebuking. I accept your forgiveness for my foolishness, hard-heartedness, and my unwillingness to always refuse other gods before you. Thank you for that. Help me to give this forgiveness to others–70 X 7.
Father, I want to quote the Rich Mullins song “Nothing is Beyond You,” which is based on Psalm 139: “Nothing is beyond you, you stand beyond the reach of my vain imagination. My misguided piety. Heavens stretch to hold you, and deep calls out to deep saying, ‘Nothing is beyond you.’ Time cannot contain you. You fill eternity. Sin could never stain you. Death has lost its sting. And I cannot explain how you came to love me, except to say that nothing is beyond you. Nothing is beyond you.”
“Cry the Name” by Jill Phillips (originally by Rich Mullins)
I cannot hide this longing that grows In this temple of silence and stars But a thief in the night stole in and broke Every chain that had bound up my heart I cannot cling to shadows again So here on this altar tonight I lay every dream I’ve ever dreamt To burn in the fire He lights
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
Every breath I’ve ever breathed Was sent as a gift from on high And with all that is left of all that is me Up to the Heavens I cry
The Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
The Name of the One who loves me Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call Down these canyon walls
I cry out Your name I cry Your name out ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls Down these canyon walls
Dear God, I think Rich Mullins would have liked this cover of his song. Like most people, I usually like the original more than any remakes, but this one really brings the poetry of the words alive for me.
I cannot hide this longing that grows In this temple of silence and stars But a thief in the night stole in and broke Every chain that had bound up my heart
Paul talked about Jesus coming like a “thief in the night,” (1 Thessalonians 5:2) so Rich and Beaker lean into that imagery here. Our minds think of a thief in the night as a bad thing, but, well, if you know you know, right? If you know this verse then you know the depths of what Rich and Beaker are saying. So with this verse, I just get this image of someone at the end of themselves and they’ve finally submitted to you. They let you come in the window and trusted you to rob them of everything you want to take. The beauty of it is, you want to take their shame, their guilt, their vice, their selfishness… You want to take all of that and leave them with the smooth skin of a new baby. The innocence of a spotless lamb. That’s what you stole. So now that the thief (you) have made off with all of the bad:
I cannot cling to shadows again So here on this altar tonight I lay every dream I’ve ever dreamt To burn in the fire He lights
At least at first, it’s hard to cling to the shadows again. Shadows come from the light, when things are there to block it. And we want those things in our hearts that will block your light. But you want to remove them so the light shines everywhere. And, at least at first, we want your light everywhere. We want the shadows gone. I just finished looking at Jonah and Nineveh. At first, the Ninevites and the King of the Assyrians wanted you and repented. They wanted to get rid of their shadows. The sad thing is, the thrill wears off and the comfort of our shadows and shame can slowly come back if we don’t walk through the narrow gate and persevere down the narrow path (Matthew 7:13-14). But let’s sit a little longer on this night that Rich and Beaker are describing. They have chosen to lay every dream they’ve ever dreamt and let them burn in the fire you light. Beautiful.
I cry the Name of the One who loves me The Name of the One on whom I call ‘Til it roars like thunder Rolling down these canyon walls
I know there are a lot of places with skies, stars, and canyons, but this makes me think of some moments I’ve had out at the H. E. Butt Family Foundation Ranch near Leakey, Texas. Mountaintop experiences, to be sure. Glorious. Emotional. Humbling, but in a good way. It can be hard to leave that place. So I’ll just let the poetry of these words take me back to those times. When the soil of my heart was freshly weeded. Before some thorns and weeds had crept in. Just you, me, and guiltless soil.
Father, to quote another Rich Mullins song, “Elijah,” “Sometimes my ground was stony, sometimes covered up with thorns, and only you could make it what it had to be.” Help me to weed my soil again today. Help me to go and be your ambassador in every situation I find myself in. I love you, Father. Make me what I need to be today so that you might be glorified. I want to decrease and you increase. As I teach Sunday school in an hour, I want you to move hearts. Let this be a day when we do some weeding in all of our hearts.
4 This change of plans greatly upset Jonah, and he became very angry. 2 So he complained to the Lord about it: “Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. 3 Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.”
4 The Lord replied, “Is it right for you to be angry about this?”
5 Then Jonah went out to the east side of the city and made a shelter to sit under as he waited to see what would happen to the city. 6 And the Lord God arranged for a leafy plant to grow there, and soon it spread its broad leaves over Jonah’s head, shading him from the sun. This eased his discomfort, and Jonah was very grateful for the plant.
7 But God also arranged for a worm! The next morning at dawn the worm ate through the stem of the plant so that it withered away. 8 And as the sun grew hot, God arranged for a scorching east wind to blow on Jonah. The sun beat down on his head until he grew faint and wished to die. “Death is certainly better than living like this!” he exclaimed.
9 Then God said to Jonah, “Is it right for you to be angry because the plant died?”
“Yes,” Jonah retorted, “even angry enough to die!”
10 Then the Lord said, “You feel sorry about the plant, though you did nothing to put it there. It came quickly and died quickly. 11 But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people living in spiritual darkness, not to mention all the animals. Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?”
Jonah 4
Dear God, first, I want to apologize. When I was looking at the Assyrians in Nineveh and them being an enemy of Israel, I was suspecting you of having ulterior motives for sending Jonah to warn them of their destruction. Maybe you needed them to repent so they would be there for Israel and help her. I was trying to look at the big picture. But here it is in verse 4:11b: Shouldn’t I feel sorry for such a great city?” Answer: Yes, you should. And that should be enough for your mercy.
Is it ever the right thing to be angry about mercy? I can’t think of a time in the New Testament when looking down on mercy was the right thing to do. In the story of the Prodigal Son/Father, the older brother was angry about the mercy. He was wrong. In the story of the woman caught in adultery, a lot of people were angry at Jesus’s mercy, and they were wrong. When Jesus forbade James and John from calling down fire from heaven to destroy the Samaritan city because he had mercy on them and respected their decision to refuse him passage, they were wrong.
Rich Mullins had a song he wrote for his friend’s new son called “Let Mercy Lead.” The chorus:
Let mercy lead Let love be the strength in your legs And in ever footprint that you leave There'll be a drop of grace If we can reach Beyond the wisdom of this age Into the foolishness of God That foolishness will save Those who believe Although their foolish hearts may break They will find peace And I'll be you in that place Where mercy leads
Father, I’m still haunted a bit by a question a person asked me the other night. He’s one of these people who is always saying he’s doing fabulous or terrific. We were getting out of our cars at the same time, and he asked me, “How are you doing,” and I did my normal thing of saying I’m doing “alright” with a little pensiveness in my voice. He asked what could change so that I’d be doing great. It was a good question, I suppose. I’ve thought about it since then. Why do I respond the way that I do? Why don’t I go the “Terrific!” route or the “Just fine” route? I guess it’s because I want to be authentic, and there are laments in my life. I walk with a limp, and I don’t want to hide my limp. I don’t invite everyone into my laments. I don’t broadcast them. But if a fellow sojourner wants to know what my laments are I’ll tell them. And usually when I do it helps them. What does this have to do with mercy? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because some of my laments involve me figuring out how to give mercy when it’s not requested or deserved. Some of it is me doing things I don’t want to do but you’re calling me to do, like Jonah (see yesterday’s prayer). Some of it is that I need some mercy extended to me that is not coming in the foreseeable future. So help me to be authentic, but also help me to not try to use the answer to the “How are you?” question as an opportunity to get others to feel sorry for me. That’s certainly not what I want. I am loved by you, and I am not a man to be pitied, no matter what my circumstances are.
“We Are Not As Strong As We Think We Are” by Rich Mullins
Well, it took the hand of God Almighty To part the waters of the sea But it only took one little lie To separate you and me Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
And they say that one day Joshua Made the sun stand still in the sky But I can’t even keep these thoughts of you from passing by Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made Forged in the fires of human passion Choking on the fumes of selfish rage And with these our hells and our heavens So few inches apart We must be awfully small And not as strong as we think we are
And the Master said their faith was Gonna make them mountains move But me, I tremble like a hill on a fault line Just at the thought of how I lost you Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made Forged in the fires of human passion Choking on the fumes of selfish rage And with these our hells and our heavens So few inches apart We must be awfully small And not as strong as we think we are
And if you make me laugh I know I could make you like me ‘Cause when I laugh I can be a lot of fun But we can’t do that I know that it is frightening What I don’t know is why we can’t hold on We can’t hold on
It took the hand of God Almighty To part the waters of the sea But it only took one little lie To separate you and me Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are
When you love you walk on the water Just don’t stumble on the waves We all want to go there something’ awful But to stand there it takes some grace
Dear God, I was listening to a podcast this morning, and they were talking about something they were reading that we are only able to see about 2% of what is visible around us due to our limited visual spectrum and the size of things. My wife and I talked about it a bit. We have a friend who is an ophthalmologist and she talks about the mission trips she goes on and how just something as simple as $.50 reading glasses change a person’s life because they were a seamstress and thought they could no longer work because they couldn’t see detail anymore. How much would that be us if we could all of a sudden see a fraction of what is around us that we cannot see? Is the vision of the spirits in the world actually closer than we think? Is it maybe not a veil between us, but simple ignorance?
That’s when this song came to mind for me. I am not as strong as I think I am. I think the closer I get to you the smaller I feel. And that’s a good thing. I think the closer I get to you the weaker I feel. And that’s a good thing. I don’t have to put my faith in my own strength to find my certainty or peace. I talk to people around my age who say they don’t feel their age. And that’s fine. I always tell them, “I’m not sure what 55 is supposed to feel like, but I think this is it.” I just don’t feel the need to push myself up and pretend to be something that I’m not. Is that good or bad? I’m not sure.
Thinking about this song that Beaker and Rich wrote, I wonder what they inspiration for it was. How did they decide to write this song? Were they feeling especially powerless? It starts with a broken relationship. It’s a love song to lost love. Poetically, I think my favorite part of the song talks about how we are “formed in the fires of human passion.” But the passion between those two people also succumbs sometimes to the fumes of selfish rage. This is truly an amazing song when you really sit with the lyrics.
Father, my hells and my heavens are just a few inches apart. Tonight, I will try to lean into the heavens and cling to them as I try to teach the Bible study lesson I think you gave me for these men. Help me. Be with me. Fill me. Help me to be weak. Be strong for me.
3 Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. 4 Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Please, Lord, save me!”
Psalm 116:3-4
Dear god, I happened to read a verse out of Revelation this morning when I was looking something up, and it makes me think of these verses from Psalm 116. The passage in Revelation was Revelation 12:11: “And they have defeated him by the blood of the lamb and by their testimony. And they did not love their lives so much that they were afraid to die.”
Death is such an interesting thing for us. And it’s a hazy mystery. As much as we had to go through birth to get here, we will go through death to leave. And what will happen then? I mean we have some ideas of heaven and even hell, but none of us REALLY knows what will happen. Once a soul is born, can it be killed, or does it really exist forever? Honestly, for the sake of those who are not brought into your kingdom, I hope a soul can just die. Why torment it forever?
So this all brings me back to these two verses from Psalm 116 that Sister Miriam highlights in today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. To add context two them, here they are again, but this time with the two verses that preceded and followed them:
1 I love the Lord because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. 2 Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath! 3 Death wrapped its ropes around me; the terrors of the grave[a] overtook me. I saw only trouble and sorrow. 4 Then I called on the name of the Lord: “Please, Lord, save me!” 5 How kind the Lord is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! 6 The Lord protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me.
A psalm of reorientation. God is good! Things were bad and I called for saving. God protected me. God is good!
Here’s something I like from Sister Miriam’s commentary today:
The bearing of wrongs, not with bitterness or numbness but with patience, is a great and crucifying gift. It means that there is a real way to freedom and restoration through suffering and the wrongs that others inflict upon us. It means that there is resurrection even in experiences of death.
Father, I have been wronged and I have wronged others. Help me to know how to apologize for the wrongs I have done to others, and help me to heal from the wrongs done to me through grace and mercy given by me to them. Where there has been pain, don’t let it be wasted. And sometimes the pains are just from life. I have a friend who lost his wife one year ago today. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but it left it’s mark. It was a long, hard illness that exacted a toll from him. It still hurts for him. Where there is pain, bring healing. Where there is healing, use the scars to help us know how to help you heal others. In his song “First Family,” Rich Mullins talks about his parents losing a son: “But the pain didn’t leave them crippled. Only scars that made them strong.” Heal my would into scars, and use my scars for your glory.
13 As Jesus was leaving the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Look, Teacher! What massive stones! What magnificent buildings!”
2 “Do you see all these great buildings?” replied Jesus. “Not one stone here will be left on another; every one will be thrown down.”
Mark 13:1-2
Dear God, is it bad that I just don’t care about end time prophecies? The Gospel reading for the Catholic church this morning is verses from later in Mark 13 when Jesus is describing end times. Is it bad that I’m incurious about them?
I guess it makes me think of the Rich Mullins song “Be With You.”
Everybody each and all We’re gonna die eventually It’s no more or less our faults Than it is our destiny So now Lord I come to you Asking only for Your grace You know what I’ve put myself through All those empty dreams I chased
And when my body lies in the ruins Of the lies that nearly ruined me Will You pick up the pieces That were pure and true And breathe Your life into them And set them free?
And when You start this world over Again from scratch Will You make me anew Out of the stuff that lasts? Stuff that’s purer than gold is And clearer than glass could ever be Can I be with You? Can I be with You?
And everybody all and each From the day that we are born We have to learn to walk beneath Those mercies by which we’re drawn And now we wrestle in the dark With these angels that we can’t see We will move on although with scars Oh Lord, move inside of me
And when my body lies in the ruins Of the lies that nearly runied me Will You pick up the pieces That were pure and true And breathe Your life into them And set them free?
And when You blast this cosmos To kingdom come When those jagged-edged mountains I love are gone When the sky is crossed with the tears Of a thousand falling suns As they crash into the sea Can I be with you? Can I be with you?
I have this down as one of my funeral songs. Whatever happens. However this all works out, I simply just want to be with you. I really don’t want to use any mental energy trying to gain this knowledge because, even if I were the one person who could figure this out (which Jesus says in Mark 13:32), what good would the knowledge gain me? Maybe I could use it to scare people into faith in and worship of you. But that doesn’t seem to be how you motivate people. At least, I don’t think selling people “fire insurance” is a good way to motivate them.
Father, I’ll be fascinated to hear this morning how the priest applies the daily reading (which is actually Mark 13:24-32) here in a little bit. One of the things I’ve decided is a “floor” for my life is that I need to get some good teaching at least once a week. Be with the priest this morning and teach me through him. Teach me through the songs we sing. Teach me through the people I encounter. Teach me through your still small voice as I worship you.
I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
14 One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye. 2 When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.”
3 His father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?”
But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.” 4 His father and mother didn’t realize the Lord was at work in this, creating an opportunity to work against the Philistines, who ruled over Israel at that time.
5 As Samson and his parents were going down to Timnah, a young lion suddenly attacked Samson near the vineyards of Timnah. 6 At that moment the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him, and he ripped the lion’s jaws apart with his bare hands. He did it as easily as if it were a young goat. But he didn’t tell his father or mother about it. 7 When Samson arrived in Timnah, he talked with the woman and was very pleased with her.
8 Later, when he returned to Timnah for the wedding, he turned off the path to look at the carcass of the lion. And he found that a swarm of bees had made some honey in the carcass. 9 He scooped some of the honey into his hands and ate it along the way. He also gave some to his father and mother, and they ate it. But he didn’t tell them he had taken the honey from the carcass of the lion.
10 As his father was making final arrangements for the marriage, Samson threw a party at Timnah, as was the custom for elite young men. 11 When the bride’s parents saw him, they selected thirty young men from the town to be his companions.
12 Samson said to them, “Let me tell you a riddle. If you solve my riddle during these seven days of the celebration, I will give you thirty fine linen robes and thirty sets of festive clothing. 13 But if you can’t solve it, then you must give me thirty fine linen robes and thirty sets of festive clothing.”
“All right,” they agreed, “let’s hear your riddle.”
14 So he said:
“Out of the one who eats came something to eat; out of the strong came something sweet.”
Three days later they were still trying to figure it out. 15 On the fourth[b] day they said to Samson’s wife, “Entice your husband to explain the riddle for us, or we will burn down your father’s house with you in it. Did you invite us to this party just to make us poor?”
16 So Samson’s wife came to him in tears and said, “You don’t love me; you hate me! You have given my people a riddle, but you haven’t told me the answer.”
“I haven’t even given the answer to my father or mother,” he replied. “Why should I tell you?” 17 So she cried whenever she was with him and kept it up for the rest of the celebration. At last, on the seventh day he told her the answer because she was tormenting him with her nagging. Then she explained the riddle to the young men.
18 So before sunset of the seventh day, the men of the town came to Samson with their answer:
“What is sweeter than honey? What is stronger than a lion?”
Samson replied, “If you hadn’t plowed with my heifer, you wouldn’t have solved my riddle!”
19 Then the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him. He went down to the town of Ashkelon, killed thirty men, took their belongings, and gave their clothing to the men who had solved his riddle. But Samson was furious about what had happened, and he went back home to live with his father and mother. 20 So his wife was given in marriage to the man who had been Samson’s best man at the wedding.
Judges 14
Dear God, I find the Samson story interesting because it shows me that you sometimes do things that are completely counterintuitive to me. How could you use this profane, ungodly man? How could you condone so much pure awfulness in a leader? How could you select him? What are you doing? I like this description of his parents in verse 4 because it would have to be said of me a lot of times, including today: 4His father and mother didn’t realize the Lord was at work in this, creating an opportunity to work against the Philistines, who ruled over Israel at that time.
There’s a Rich Mullins song called “Who God is Gonna Use.”
At the beginning of this video, Rich talks about how you used Balaam’s donkey to save him (Numbers 22:21-35), and that story inspired the rest of the song. You use all kinds of people and all kinds of things. And not necessarily the holy ones. And not necessarily to do holy things. You used Pilate and Herod to kill Jesus. But what the disciples couldn’t see at the time is that it was taking one step back to take five steps forward. They killed Stephen, which seemed like a huge setback, but you used it to spread the church throughout the world (Acts 8). Stephen’s death is one of the reasons I am here today.
I have a friend who lost her father last week, and then was in an unfortunate accident yesterday that sent her to the ER. She loves you. She worships you. It seems like awful timing. Why would this happen? Why would you let this happen? Well, maybe there are just things I cannot see. Please be with her and her mother today as she recovers and they mourn the loss of a great, godly man.
As I type this email this morning, we now know who won the election yesterday for POTUS. There are some Christians who are delighted. Some are devastated. If the winner had been different, the roles would have been reversed. I talked with both sides over the last few weeks, and I told them, “Whoever wins, I will not let it be my idol. I am not putting my faith in either candidate. I am putting my faith in God and the things he is doing that I cannot see. So the day after the election, regardless of who wins, I will wake up, worship God, pray, and then go about loving everyone I can that day.”
Father, use President-elect Trump to do your will in this world whether he even knows your doing it or not, and regardless of what your will is for our country or this world. And my prayer would be the same if Kamala Harris won. I don’t know what you have for our country. I don’t know what you have for the people within it and around the world. I don’t know what you have for me. I know that I have no demands on you. I know that I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task you’ve given me–the task of testifying to the gospel of your grace through Jesus. So help me to live into that today. For those who will be impacted materially by policies of a new administration, both foreign and domestic, I pray. Find your remnant and strongly support them. Use everything going on this world to draw us closer to you. I pray that the American church my find true faith in you and turn loose of the idols we look to for our certainty. I pray that I will do the same. I am here to offer you my worship, my life, and my service. Use me as you will.
You who live in heaven Hear the prayers of those of us who live on earth? Who are afraid of being left by those we love Who get hardened in the hurt Do you remember when You lived down here? Where we all scrape To find the faith to ask the daily bread Did You forget about us After You had flown away? Well, I memorized every word You said
Still I’m so scared, I’m holding my breath While You’re up there just playing hard to get
You who live in radiance Hear the prayers of those of us who live in skin? We have a love that’s not as patient as Yours was But still we do love now and then Did You ever know loneliness? You ever know need? You remember just how long a night can get? When You are barely holdin’ on And Your friends fall asleep Who don’t see the blood that’s runnin’ in Your sweat
Will those who mourn be left uncomforted While You’re up there just playin’ hard to get?
And I know You bore our sorrows And I know You feel our pain And I know that it would not hurt any less Even if it could be explained And I know that I am only lashing out At the One who loves me most And after I have figured this, somehow What I really need to know is if
You who live in eternity Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time? We can’t see what’s ahead and we cannot get free from what we’ve left behind I’m reeling from these voices that keep screamin’ in my ears All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret I can’t see how You’re leading me Unless You’ve led me here To where I’m lost enough to let myself be led
And so You’ve been here all along, I guess It’s just Your ways and You are just plain hard to get
Dear God, yesterday, I prayed that you would direct my day and I would give it over to you. For the most part, that went well. One decision I made was to listen to worship music during my workout instead of YouTube videos on car reviews or whatever. I started with Rich Mullins’s The Jesus Record and this was the first song that came up. It was the last verse that really caught my attention:
You who live in eternity Hear the prayers of those of us who live in time? We can’t see what’s ahead and we cannot get free from what we’ve left behind I’m reeling from these voices that keep screamin’ in my ears All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret I can’t see how You’re leading me Unless You’ve led me here To where I’m lost enough to let myself be led
I think the exact part that really struck me was when he says, “We can’t see what’s ahead and we cannot get free from what we’ve left behind.” Living in the past and waiting on the future is so fruitless. And maybe I’m wrong about this approach, but I think that is why I just simply don’t care about “End Times” theology. I simply don’t see how it impacts who I am today.
That’s not to say I don’t get distracted by or anxious about the future. I certainly do. I worry about the idols I’ve developed to replace my faith in you and whether they will hold out. Will enough money continue to come in at work to pay my salary? Will my wife’s and my health continue to be good? What will my relationships with my children or other family members be like tomorrow? Who will win the elections in November in the United States and how afraid should I be of this person or that person winning? There are so many things that can distract me about the future, but they are mainly things that I allow to be idols that I think will bring me peace and certainty.
Then there’s the past. Past hurts. Traumas. Abandonments. It’s rarely the good things about the past that drive me and motivate me to act now. It’s often the negative things that haunt me.
Father, I can’t see what’s ahead and I won’t let go of what’s been left behind. I’m reeling from these voices that keep screaming in my ears. All these words of shame and doubt, blame and regret. I can’t see how you’re leading me unless you’ve led me here. To where I’m lost enough to let myself be led. That’s brilliant writing on Rich’s part, and I offer those words to you as my words this morning. I am rejecting my idols of self-pity, money, political power, health, love from others, etc. There are parts about my current situation that are amazing and bountiful. Thank you for those. There are other parts that bring me great sorrow. Thank you for those as well. You have brought me here, to a place where I am lost enough to let you lead me. Holy Spirit, please lead me again today.
I offer this to you in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit, Father,
16 They answered Joshua, “We will do whatever you command us, and we will go wherever you send us. 17 We will obey you just as we obeyed Moses. And may the Lord your God be with you as he was with Moses. 18 Anyone who rebels against your orders and does not obey your words and everything you command will be put to death. So be strong and courageous!”
Joshua 1:16-18
68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. 69 We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.”
John 6:68-69
Dear God, I really like how the lectionary of many churches, including the Catholic church, will tie Old Testament passages to Gospel passages. In this case, tomorrow’s verses for the Catholic church include the verses above. There’s more to each one, but the ideas of these two sentences comparing the people’s response to Joshua’s, “Choose today whom you will serve,” with Peter’s response to Jesus’s, “Will you leave too?” is both touching and tragic. It’s touching because they believed these words with all their hearts when they said them. It’s tragic because they are all human and every one of them failed to live up to the words they spoke that day at some point or another.
Of course, I’m no different. My heart will exude with love and worship for you in one moment and then run and hide the next. When I started typing a few moments ago, I thought of the Rich Mullins song “Nothing is Beyond You,” which is based on part of Psalm 139. The first verse and chorus:
Where would I go? Where would I run?
Even if I found the strength to fly.
And if I rose on the wings of the dawn
And crashed through the corners of the sky
If I sailed past the edge of the sea
Even if I made my bed in hell
Still there you would find meNothing is beyond you
You stand beyond the reach
Of my vain imagination
My misguided piety
The heavens stretch to hold you
And deep calls out to deep
Saying, "Nothing is beyond you!"
Time cannot contain you
You fill eternity
Sin can never stain you
Death has lost its sting
And I cannot explain how
You came to love me
Except to say that
Nothing is beyond you
Father, the good news is that my faithless heart is not beyond you. The Israelites’ faithless hearts were not beyond you. Peter’s faithless heart was not beyond you. Nothing is beyond you. I’m sorry I go. I’m sorry I run. I’m sorry I fly and sail away with everything I have sometimes. I am sorry I kick against you. I’m sorry I resist you. But in this moment now, I do worship you. Well, do I? Even as I sit here, I can tell my heart isn’t 100% yours. I’m holding back today. I have my agenda of what I want to do today and what I don’t want to do. I don’t want you to get in the way of that. No, even now, I am not totally yours. I’m sorry for that too. Holy Spirit, right now, I invite you to take over my heart and make me wholly the Father’s, the Son’s, and yours. I completely submit myself in this moment to you.
I offer this prayer and my life in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit,
Emails to God 