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Prayer after Communion

04 Apr

Grant, we pray, O Lord,
That, as we pass from old
to new,
So, with former ways left
behind,
We may be renewed in
Holiness of mind.

Prayer after Communion

Dear God, communion is an interesting thing Jesus left us. I’m sorry that it has, to some extent, become a divider among Christians. I think it grieves you that this has happened. I’m sure Jesus thought it was pretty simple at that last supper. He’s in anguish. He’s knows he’s about to suffer. If he had any doubts that he would suffer, they were certainly removed by Moses and Elijah at the Transfiguration (Luke 9:31). So here he is with his disciples, and he gives them a symbol of what will happen to his body (broken) and blood (poured out). A few months ago I actually wondered if every meal we have shouldn’t be communion. If every time I bite into a sandwich or even a tortilla–maybe more especially a tortilla–I shouldn’t be remembering Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection. When I pray before a meal, should that be the focus of the prayer, or at least included as part of it. Have we just made something given to us as a beautiful gift into something else that we can use to divide us and drive a wedge between us?

Wow, I didn’t expect to go here this morning with this reading from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but that’s where my thoughts led me. To lament and see that some repentance on my part might be due. This is really going to make me rethink everything, or at least every time I break bread.

Back to this prayer itself, that I would experience the leaving behind of my former self and renew myself to your holiness through the broken body and poured out blood of Jesus, yes, I claim this. Even in this time with you this morning, with no bread or body around anywhere, I submit to you, thank you for everything you are–from the God of the Old Testament, to yourself revealed through Jesus in the New Testament, to the Holy Spirit with me this morning–and pray that you will help me to walk forward with a renewed heart and mind.

Father, thank you for being with me this morning. Help me to sink into you. As I go to work this morning, help me to worship you well and love others through that work. As I interact with family and friends, help me to love them well and to be your ambassador of love to them.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – April 3, 2025

03 Apr

We evoke your mercy in
Humble Prayer, O Lord,
That you may cause us,
Your servants,
Corrected by penance
and schooled by good
works,
To persevere sincerely in
Your commands
And come safely to the
Paschal festivities.

Collect for Mass of the Day – April 3, 2025

Dear God, lead me on. When I read this passage this morning, what jumped to mind was the Amy Grant song “Lead Me On.” This is a journey. Trials. Pain. Victories. Sorrows. Celebrations. Laments. Lead me on!

Today marks the 25th anniversary of these prayer journals. It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing them this long. They have changed my life. I’m not the same 30-year-old who started doing these on April 3, 2000. I have more bruises and callouses. I also have some great testimonies of what you’ve done in my life. I can look back at the major events in my life since then and honestly say that they would literally not have happened if I hadn’t been doing these prayer journals.

Of course, I remember the time I stopped doing them for over a year and a half. That might have been the lowest point of my life. I remember praying to you and telling you that I wasn’t angry with you, but I just couldn’t get motivated to pray to you in this way. And I honestly felt that way at the time. But in retrospect, if I wasn’t angry with you, I was certainly disappointed. While I rejected the idea of prosperity gospel, I think I had bought into a certain level of belief that you would give me at least a little something of what I wanted in exchange for my worship and obedience. I still don’t understand what happened then or what is still happening now, but I have learned that my life is truly not about me. It is about how you will use it regardless of the consequences to me. And, to be sure, I have a very good life. But there is pain, and I am learning how to let you comfort me in that pain instead of complaining that you allowed the pain to happen.

My wife asked me over dinner last night what I think it’s done for me–all these thousands of prayer journals. I told her that on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being Jesus and 1 being who I was before I met you, I think it has moved me from a 1.6 to a 1.8. But that is closer to being more Christlike than I was before. Maybe tomorrow I can hit a 1.81. But I could also digress to a 1.5. There is just so much of you, and I have so far to go. But you are worth it. The peace and joy I find in your presence are worth it. If I can truly get my heart to where Job gets at the end of his story and Paul gets throughout the Epistles of just realizing it’s not about me, but it’s all about you, then I can continue to make that little bit of progress each day.

Father, for everything that happens, please don’t waste it. Even when I make a mistake, don’t waste the mistake. Help me to not waste time on regret, but to turn that regret into repentance and then moving forward in you. As I start this 26th year of journaling my prayers to you in this way, I pray that you will speak to me in this space. Holy Spirit, sit with me and pray with me. Teach me. Take my heart to the Father. I worship you, my Triune God.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2025 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 28, 2025

28 Mar

Pour your grace into our
Hearts, we pray, O Lord,
That we may be constantly
Drawn away from unruly
Desires
And obey by your own gift
The heavenly teaching
You give us.

Collect for Mass of the Day – March 28, 2025

Dear God, I decided to start with Sister Miriam’s reading from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation instead of just starting with the text presented and going off on my own from there. I liked this paragraph from her commentary today. When speaking of “unruly desires,” she said:

We commonly get stuck at the level of “disordered desire,” and as we mentioned earlier, we try to manage that desire or the sin without exploring with the Lord the deeper roots. Christianity is not about sin management or mere behavior modification but rather a complete transformation unto glory. Christ came to help us with these places and to heal our sin and division. He came to bring us into his own divine life.

I had a relative text me a couple of days ago about their 44th anniversary of sobriety from alcohol. I think he would say that his addiction and addressing it a process of addressing some of the things in his life or psyche that he was numbing with the alcohol.

So how do I numb myself from pain, insecurity, or fear? Do I lash out in anger towards others? Do I create noise around me that keeps my mind from being still and feeling the “feels” that are tormenting me? Honestly, these prayer times with you are some of the few moments of the day that I allow for quiet and self-reflection.

Father, yes, I have disordered desires. Help me to address them. It’s not just a matter of repenting for them. It’s also a matter of bringing them to Jesus with the Holy Spirit and seeking the healing he offers from the life he lived, the death he suffered, and then his resurrection. Now, he stands there ready to love on me, comfort me, and heal me. Holy Spirit, walk with me today and show me moment to moment how to experience this healing.

I pray this to the Father in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 28, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 84:2

24 Mar

2 My soul longs, indeed it faints,
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.

Psalm 84:2

Dear God, of course, things like this aren’t written and published on a whim. The psalmist isn’t correcting himself in the first line of this verse. He’s communicating intentionally. It’s like a P.S. at the end of a fundraising letter. The marketing person didn’t forget to tell you something in a letter that was reviewed and edited multiple times before it was sent. The P.S. is intentional to communicate an emotional punctuation at the end of the letter. The same is true for this first line of this verse. I just looked at about five different translations, and while they didn’t all say it like this, they all communicated some sort of emphasis about a desperation for you.

Do I feel that desperate this morning, or am I just going through the motions? If I search my heart honestly, I can see where there is a part of me that is going through the motions, but I am going through these motions because I know that I need you today. I need you this morning. I need you this hour. I need you in this moment. Who am I without you? You created me, and you want relationship with me. I am more than happy to oblige because you teach me love and forgiveness. You teach me your ways. You teach me about you.

In today’s entry from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam focuses on how we long for the thing(s) we gave up during lent as we fast from them, and then talked about replacing the longing for that particular thing to our longing for you. Am I as desperate for you as I am for the thing I gave up for Lent? If I were to give you up for Lent–time with you, prayer, church, podcasts, Bible, music, etc.–who would I be by Easter? I shutter to think.

Father, I love you. I need you. I cannot do this without you. Love others through me. Show me how to offer reconciliation with you to those around me. I am yours. Thank you for being mine.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 22, 2025

22 Mar 
O God, who grant us
  By glorious healing
  Remedies while still on 
  Earth
To be partakers of the 
  Things of heaven,
Guide us, we pray, through
  This present life
And bring us to that light
  In which you dwell

Collect for Mass of the Day - March 22, 2025

Dear God, it is so evident to me that we are damaged. All of us. It reminds of me the poem "This be the Verse" by Philip Larkin. I know I've mentioned this in prayers before: 

They [mess] you up, your mum and dad.   
    They may not mean to, but they do.   
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

But they were [messed] up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,   
Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

It started with Adam and Eve and it trickles into today. I don’t agree with the last line of this poem, that we shouldn’t have any kids ourselves. But I fear that is the sentiment todays youth are carrying into adulthood. When they see the pain they feel hopeless. Like the world is doomed. And I’ll admit that I would not want to raise a child in the current technological world, much less the one that will be around in 10-20 years from now.

So what do we do now? From the collect of the mass today, we look for your glorious healing. I was just talking with someone about what we are selling when we present your Gospel. Is it fire insurance–rescue from hell–or is it healing now. Receiving forgiveness. Learning how to extend forgiveness. Receiving your “remedies while still on earth.” “To be partakers in the things of heaven.” To be part of your kingdom coming and your will being done on earth as it is in heaven.

Going back to the poem, it’s the last stanza that needs your redemption. That’s where Mr. Larkin is missing you. The deepening of the coastal shelf will happen without you, but with you–with your grace, both received and given–that coastal shelf will be filled in and the children we bring into the world will have the opportunity to bring that grace forward. Oh, Father, help me to be part of bringing your grace forward through my reception of your grace and then extending it to others.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 38

19 Mar

Psalm 38

A Penitent Sufferer’s Plea for Healing

A Psalm of David, for the memorial offering.

1 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger
    or discipline me in your wrath.
2 For your arrows have sunk into me,
    and your hand has come down on me.

3 There is no soundness in my flesh
    because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
    because of my sin.
4 For my iniquities have gone over my head;
    they weigh like a burden too heavy for me.

5 My wounds grow foul and fester
    because of my foolishness;
6 I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
    all day long I go around mourning.
7 For my loins are filled with burning,
    and there is no soundness in my flesh.
8 I am utterly spent and crushed;
    I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

9 O Lord, all my longing is known to you;
    my sighing is not hidden from you.
10 My heart throbs; my strength fails me;
    as for the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
11 My friends and companions stand aloof from my affliction,
    and my neighbors stand far off.

12 Those who seek my life lay their snares;
    those who seek to hurt me speak of ruin
    and meditate on treachery all day long.

13 But I am like the deaf; I do not hear;
    like the mute, who cannot speak.
14 Truly, I am like one who does not hear
    and in whose mouth is no retort.

15 But it is for you, O Lord, that I wait;
    it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
16 For I pray, “Only do not let them rejoice over me,
    those who boast against me when my foot slips.”

17 For I am ready to fall,
    and my pain is ever with me.
18 I confess my iniquity;
    I am sorry for my sin.
19 Those who are my foes without cause are mighty,
    and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
20 Those who render me evil for good
    are my adversaries because I follow after good.

21 Do not forsake me, O Lord;
    O my God, do not be far from me;
22 make haste to help me,
    O Lord, my salvation.

Dear God, context is so important. Just knowing that this was written by David and then provided to the people to be used for a specific purpose–the memorial offering–sets the stage for the words here. I’d guess David wrote this for others to use to repent, but it also came out of his own heart and experience. Maybe or maybe not the experience of that moment, but a past experience at the very least.

For my purposes today, Sister Miriam, in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation focused on the last two verses, 21 and 22. Here is part of what she says about pain from our past impacting our present (the one point in time when we have the opportunity to interact with you): “there is a wonderful saying in healing circles that I find to be true: ‘Suffering that is not transformed is transmitted.’ Every experience of suffering we have had that has not yet been redeemed and transformed by the love of Christ is transmitted to those around us. The suffering we have experienced does not just disappear; it is most often buried alive. And that pain buried alive continues to afflict us and those around us.”

Yeah. I can definitely see this. Earlier in today’s meditation, she asks where we have “experienced war being waged against [us].” I can think of a few times in my life that were disastrous. Some were because of my sin. Some were because of sin done to me or to someone I love. What was my response to those things? Did I invite you in to heal me? Did I confess my sin to you?

Father, thank you for not forsaking me. Thank you for not being far from me. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for meeting with me here this morning. Thank you for accepting my presence–my very existence–and giving me your Holy Spirit to reside in me and guide me. thank you for protecting me in ways I cannot even see. Thank you for loving my wife and children. For hearing my prayers for them and everyone else I love. I know I have put you into too small of a box in my mind. I know I have limited you and your power in my conceptions of who you are. No matter how big I might think you are, I know you are even bigger. I just cannot imagine it. So give me the imagination you need me to have to pray the way you want me to pray.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 19, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Ezekiel 18:23

14 Mar

23 Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, says the Lord God, and not rather that they should turn from their ways and live? 

Ezekiel 18:23

Dear God, I think I am going to try something different today when I use the passage from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation by Sr. Miriam James Heidland. Instead of looking at the passage and praying on it, I’m going to start with reading what she has to say about it.

I really like her first paragraph:

As Adam and Eve are shattered in the garden by their decision to listen to the enemy and not to rely upon the truth of who God is, so are we. We hold God in suspicion, we blame him, we try to create our own reality apart from him, and we fear being seen by him. We fear being seen by the only one who can actually do anything to heal us.

I’ve mentioned a couple of times now the video I saw of Dustin Hoffman quoting Robert De Niro on what he would say to you if he were to meet you on the other side of this life. According to Hoffman, De Niro’s quote was, “You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.” First, I doubt he would have the courage to say that if presented with your presence. No way. But just the thought of that animosity towards you goes back to this in some way. I mean, I understand being upset with you and how you do things. I understand legitimate awful things going on in the world that upset us and lead us to ask why you would allow such a thing (e.g., war, human trafficking, hunger, etc.). I’ve been disappointed with you in the past. But what would I have you do? What would we have you do differently? Where would the mighty hand of your justice end? Could any of us justify our survival?

Father, her is Sr. Miriam’s last paragraph. I offer it to you as my prayer:

When we spend time with God in prayer listening, receiving, speaking, pondering, and responding, our lives are changed. As we drink deeply from the scriptures and let this living Word settle into the marrow of our souls, the poison of sin and lies is drawn out. As we meditate and contemplate upon who God is and engage in conversation with him, our stony hearts are softened and made new. As we confess our sin and weaknesses and ask for his heart to meet us in our misery, new light dawns.

So draw out the poison of sin and lies in my heart. Meet me in my misery. Bring a new light into my life today.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2025 in Ezekiel, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day (Thursday after Ash Wednesday)

07 Mar 
Prompt our actions with your inspiration, we pray, O Lord
And further them with your constant help
That all we do may always begin from you
And by you be brought to completion

Collect for Mass of the Day (Thursday after Ash Wednesday)

Dear God, I accidentally did the wrong day yesterday. I skipped a day in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. I did today’s yesterday. Oops. So let me back up and get yesterday’s meditation.

I remember 23 years ago, after having been inspired to leave a safe job to venture out and follow you blindly, listening to another guy talk (or maybe I read it) and he was talking about being in the middle of your will. He said that there was a moment in his life when he had followed you faithfully, and he knew that he knew that he knew he was doing something weird but he was doing exactly what you wanted him to do. It’s what he said next that stuck with me: “Knowing I was in God’s will in that moment made me not want to cross the street if I thought it wasn’t in his will.”

Knowing your will is hard because my will can be a powerful influencer over me. I can justify just about anything I want as being your will. I recently purchased a new vehicle and part of how I justified it to myself was that we were selling our old vehicle, which ran fine, really cheap to a sweet family that could use it. Surely that was in your will, right? Well, I don’t know, but I sure used that to justify it to myself whenever I had misgivings.

To quote Sister Miriam from the book: “During Lent, the Lord is calling us to something very intimate–far beyond the mere surface of ‘praying more’ or ‘giving up dessert.’ He is calling us into union with him in the heart. This is why we must allow the Lord to prompt our actions with his inspiration and further them with his help. We are not making the journey of Lent on our own or from our own will. We are being led by the Lord as the Holy Spirit led Jesus out into the desert.”

Father, lead me today. There were a couple of times yesterday when I felt you answering my prayer from yesterday morning about sharing the piece of you I know with others and receiving that piece they know back from them. You are good. You are so good. There is so much of you to know. Help me to know you just a little better today, and lead me into the center of your will, whether I end up there intentionally or accidentally.

In pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Isaiah 55:8-9

03 Mar

8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Dear God, this kind of goes back to what I was praying yesterday about comparing who you are to us by comparing who we are to dogs. And the distance between you and us is infinitely greater that the distance between me and a dog, but it’s at least a metaphor I can get my head around a bit.

The interesting thing is that, while your ways are far beyond anything I can imagine, I am on a journey of discovering just a little more of you each day. Learning how to love you. Learning how to love others. Learning how to choose to not be cruel or mean out of spite. Learning to forgive.

I thought this morning about something that I heard someone say back when I was in school. Maybe high school. They were talking about mathematics and how mathematicians had come up with different formulas for solving different problems. But what they said that stuck with me was, “It makes you wonder: Is mathematics something we create to solve problems, or is it something that already exists that we are discovering?” That’s you, God. You aren’t something I’ve created, but you are certainly something that I am discovering just a little more each day.

Father, I have some friends who are afraid and frustrated right now. Afraid for their children. Afraid for their parents. It might be health-related. It might be addiction. It might simply be bad choices. So I offer each situation up to you in prayer. Be a powerful healer. Be a powerful God. Draw them into yourself. Don’t let this pain be wasted. Make it count. Make it count for your glory. Help me to be the mean you need me to be in each situation I encounter. Help me to be an agent of your love, grace, and mercy. Help me to encourage others to draw closer to you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2025 in Isaiah

 

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2 Timothy 1:5-7

28 Feb

5 I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. 6 This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. 7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:5-7

Dear God, “…fan into flames the spiritual gift God Gave you…” That is where my head is this morning. Frankly, it reminds me of what I was taking about yesterday with Amy Grant’s song “1974.” Ostensibly singing of the day of her conversion almost 15 years before, she was hoping the passion that night wouldn’t fade. I guess I’ll get to see at least a little of how she is doing tonight when we see her in concert. Of course, she will show the audience what she wants to show the audience, but I think even what she wants to show us will speak volumes about her and where she is now. Will she be vulnerable and share her weaknesses and struggles? Will she just put on a plastic “Jesus loves us” faith? Will it be somewhere in between. I’m expecting somewhere in between, which I think will be appropriate. We don’t deserve to know all of her struggles, but I do think there is strength for us if she shares with us the fact that it hasn’t all been rosy over the last 51 years, since 1974.

So going back into fanning the flames. And what are my spiritual gifts. I feel like these daily prayer journals are key to be keeping the embers of the fire going. The provide a foundation for the fire to ensure it doesn’t go out. At the same time, what do I do extra to fan the flame? Am I doing enough? Am I putting myself in a position to be inspired and challenged by fellow Christians, good teachers, and opportunities to serve others? I think those are the ways for me to fan this faith. It’s not enough for me to be here praying to you. And it’s not enough to do those other things and not pray regularly. I need it all.

Father, help me to know how to love you and love your creation, starting with the woman you created for me to share my life with. Help me to know how to love everyone around me. Show me what to do and what not to do. For those who are most precious to me, I pray that you will pour yourself into them. I pray that they will feel your love and your peace. I pray that they will be in a position in their lives where you Spirit will grow in them and produce the fruit you designed us to produce. Do it for their sakes and not mine. Be glorified in all our lives.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2025 in 2 Timothy

 

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