Dear God, I heard a term this weekend listening to an interview a Catholic priest did with David Brooks: Numinous Moment. Mr. Brooks was describing a time when he felt a sense of your supernatural presence and could see, just a little, with your eyes. It made me stop and wonder about my own numinous moment(s). Have I had any? Are there places in my life when the veil between you and me got just a little thinner?
I know I’ve had times like this, but the one that seeminly hit me out of the blue with no explanation was when I was about 15 years old. I was home alone on a Saturday night and, I have no idea what inspired be to do this outside of the Holy Spirit coaxing me, I decided to just start reading the Bible. I opened to 1 Samuel (again, I can’t explain why) and started reading it like it was a novel. I think I got all of the way through 1 Samuel and was at least part of the way through 2 Samuel when I was just overcome by worship for you. I found myself running around the living room, shouting praise to you. I was Baptist at the time, and I had been “saved” for several years. And I can’t say that there were any long-lasting effects from this moment except the memory that I carry with me to this day. It wasn’t until two years later after an FCA Leadership Conference in Abilene that I really became a discipling Christian. But that moment. That evening. sometime in the fall of ’85 or the spring of ’86, I was all in on you. I could almost see you. And it was just from reading some stories from the Bible.
To this day, I have a special place in my heart for 1 and 2 Samuel. They are two of my favorite books. I try to get people to read them like a novel because that’s how I read them on that evening. Almost none of them do. I’m teaching a Bible study for some men right now, and I started with 1 Samuel 8, and next week I’ll finish the series by doing the first few chapters of 2 Samuel. We finiahed 1 Samuel last night.
One thing that Fr. Martin and Mr. Brooks talked about was how some people have numinous moments and then still decide to reject you. They mentioned a specific example of a woman that I can’t now remember her name. I guess that was kind of me back then. I was certainly sensitive to you. I was sensitive to my need for grace and mercy. I just had zero idea how to put discipleship into action until I went to that FCA Leadership Conference.
Father, I pray that you will help me to see the moments today when the veil between you and me might be a little thinner. I pray for those moments for my family and friends. I pray for them for my coworkers and our volunteers and patients. Give me eyes to see and ears and a heart to hear.
I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Amen
Emails to God 