Tag Archives: Marriage

¹ When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. ² Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

³ Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

⁴ “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ ⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? ⁶ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

⁷ “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

⁸ Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. ⁹ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

¹⁰ The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

¹¹ Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. ¹² For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Dear God, there is so much here. I’m not even sure where to begin. I guess I’ll just do it from my perspective which nullifies the idea that I can be alone. One, I have already married a woman (for nearly 20 years), and I know I wasn’t designed to be one “who can accept” the idea of being alone. So taking that off of the table, and the debate over whether or not priests can marry and if this is something that this passage suggests, I want to go back to the part about divorce.

I am the product of a second marriage, for which I am grateful. Frankly, I have learned something about the Catholic process of annulment, and it seems to me that my mother’s first marriage would pretty easily qualify. I know that my dad has always struggled with these verses and the idea that he married a divorced woman, but the circumstances under which my mother was divorced were unique and I think okay from that perspective (I’ll keep her personal life her own and not share any details on the blog here).

I happened to sit through a session this year on Catholic annulment, and while some Protestants might think of it as a loophole through which Catholics jump to “legalize” a divorce, I came to appreciate it as more than that. I heard the testimony of a couple of people who have been through or are going through the process, and they say that it is gut-wrenching. The Church will tell you that it is about establishing whether or not the original vows were legitimate because they were or were not fully understood by both parties taking them. My opinion came to be that if divorce is the process of man separating what you have joined together, then annulment is the process of you separating it.

Father, I have to say, I knew what my vows were and what my commitment was. I have no regrets. Is it hard? Sure. Do we disagree sometimes? Yes. But I truly love her and I want the best for her. I am committed to being your best for her regardless of what that costs me. Lately, I think we have both been frustrated over a couple of issues, and with each other in the process. But you are among us and we trust you to guide us through it. I simply pray that you will unite us together and protect us from influences that might conspire to try and tear us apart.