Dear God, my wife and I were talking over breakfast, and as we finished she mentioned she was going to her study to do her “Examen” for the week. I’ve never done this before so I asked her to tell me about it. She told me the questions she asks herself as she reflects on her week. It sounded like a good exercise, so I decided to pray through the questions this morning. I found the following questions on a United Methodist Church website. I don’t think they are exactly the questions my wife is asking herself, but they seem like a good place to start.
- Are you aware of God in this moment?
- What are you grateful for right now?
- When did you experience love today?
- Was there an opportunity in which you missed sharing love with others?
- What might you learn from that? (Tell God about it.)
Am I aware of you in this moment?
That’s a good question. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. But it’s a reminder that I need to be. I need to be aware that the Holy Spirit is part of me, and he is praying with me right now. You are with me. You are real. You are interested in me. You have plans for me. You have desires for me and my life. You have things you both want me to have and don’t want me to have. You get frustrated with me when I am foolish, selfish, and sinful. You delight in the few times per day or week when I get it right. You delight in the fact that I’m trying. You get frustrated with my ingratitude. You want to give me rest, but you also want me to work harder.
And you are working in the lives of those I love most, the lives of those I care about around me, and even in my community and country. You are working in the world. You are working in the galaxy. You are working in the universe. Nothing is beyond you! You are so very big, and I am so very small. I love you.
What am I grateful for right now?
I’m sitting in a safe, comfortable house having just had a nice pancake/sausage breakfast. I so take these things for granted. I cannot seem to muster up gratitude for these things unless I explicitly sit down and think about it. I am grateful for the improvements at work. I am grateful for the amazing woman I’ve been with for over 36 years. I’m grateful for our health. I’m grateful for the children we have and the one we lost in pregnancy. My wife and I were talking about how she has experienced loss through death in a way that I haven’t. I’m grateful for the living. I’m grateful for your mercy. I’m grateful for answered prayers, both those you answer with a yes and those you answer with a no or not yet. I’m grateful for physical health and the ability to be active and exercise. I’ll cycle later this morning. I’m grateful I can do that. I’m grateful for the trip I’m about to take to Waco for a football game later today. What a little luxury in life that is afforded to me.
When did I experience love today?
Well, when I was sitting at the breakfast table and my wife walked in from having just walked the dog, she took a moment to pause and blow me a kiss from across the room while she put things away. Then she gave me a kiss when she was done. When she sat down to breakfast and I went to sit and join her while she ate, she laid down what she was looking at and welcomed my presence at the table. And we talked. She seemed to enjoy talking with me, and that made me feel loved. The day is young. I’m sure there will be more times today when I feel loved–especially by her. There are people who are precious to me who do not show me love. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. But I am grateful that this home is a place I like to be, and she makes it that way for me.
Was there an opportunity in which I missed sharing love with others?
The day is young, but I’ll say that there are two people I know who need expressions of love. One just lost a son and one is going through a significant health crisis. I meant to get by and buy a card for each of them this week, but I never did. I have to do this today! The cards must go in the mail today.
What might I learn from that?
Father, the truth is that I try to love others, but sometimes I allow things that are important to fall through the cracks. I miss opportunities to be your hands and feet in this world. I’m sorry for that. I like that you’re making me mindful of those two people specifically today, but there are others for whom I need to be praying. Relatives. People for whom relatives have asked me to pray. People I know who are suffering. Just everything, Father. There is an endless amount of need, and I can’t possibly cover it all or pray for it all, but if there is a line between what I can possibly do and what I can’t do, there is a lot of distance between me and it. So help me to get closer to that line. Help me to take all of the advantages you’ve given me and use them for your glory and to bless the people around me. Help me to see you in them and worship you as I love them.
I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Amen
Emails to God 