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Tag Archives: Forgiveness

Psalm 95

Psalm 95

1 Come, let us sing to the Lord!
    Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation.
2 Let us come to him with thanksgiving.
    Let us sing psalms of praise to him.
3 For the Lord is a great God,
    a great King above all gods.
4 He holds in his hands the depths of the earth
    and the mightiest mountains.
5 The sea belongs to him, for he made it.
    His hands formed the dry land, too.

6 Come, let us worship and bow down.
    Let us kneel before the Lord our maker,
7     for he is our God.
We are the people he watches over,
    the flock under his care
.

If only you would listen to his voice today!
8 The Lord says, “Don’t harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah,
    as they did at Massah in the wilderness.
9 For there your ancestors tested and tried my patience,
    even though they saw everything I did.
10 For forty years I was angry with them, and I said,
‘They are a people whose hearts turn away from me.
    They refuse to do what I tell them.’
11 So in my anger I took an oath:
    ‘They will never enter my place of rest.’”

Dear God, reading this as a 21st-century American, I’m shocked with how this worship psalm ends. Was this typical for them? Did it cycle around and use something as a chorus to make this ending more hopeful and worshipful. I am preaching at a church several weeks from now, and I started to wonder if the first part of this psalm wasn’t the message you wanted me to give. “If only you would listen to his voice today.” Then I saw the rest of it that ended in such a negative place. It stunned me. I know I’ve read this before, and I’ve probably had the same response before. But it still stuns me to see this description by the psalmist of what they imagined you felt (or you revealed to them you felt) for those 40 years between Egypt and they Jordan.

In today’s entry into Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam actually focused on the line I focused on, but she included the first part of verse 8, “Don’t harden your hearts…” She quote the Catholic Catechism (CCC 2840): “Now–and this is daunting–this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us.” She follows up later and says, “Forgiveness is asking Jesus Christ for the grace to forgive. It is relinquishing our grasp upon the person who hurt us, surrendering the person to Jesus and asking Jesus to restore justice. It is an acknowledgment of the pain inflicted, how it affected us, an ongoing emotional release of it, and a decision to offer that person and ourselves a gift of love and freedom.”

Father, there are times when I think I have forgiven everyone, but then anger flashed back to me. Maybe it’s a new offense. Maybe it’s a reminder of an offense that I thought I had worked through and forgiven. Maybe it’s trying to find that line between loving and forgiving while still not trusting. I do know that I don’t want a hard heart. Even in my daily vocation, I work with clients who sometimes deceive me to get what they want. It can be hard to not become calloused for the next person even though they might legitimately need me. As I sit here now, I’m reminded of an old song by Petra called “Don’t Let Your Heart be Hardened.” I just looked up the song and listened to it. Frankly, it sounded pretty trite and “easy to say,” until I got to the last verse:

Let His love rain down upon you
Breaking up your fallow ground
Let it loosen all the binding
Till only tenderness is found

I think that the key to be really becoming forgiving and merciful is coming to deep terms with how sinful I really am and how much I really grieve you sometimes. And also how sinful I was before I finally turned to you and started worshipping you faithfully. But when I really see myself in the mirror, accept who I am and what I’ve been forgiven of, then I will more easily give your love and forgiveness to others. Help me to do all of this, Father.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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John 8:31-36

31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

33 “But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?”

34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.”

John 8:31-36

Dear God, in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam focuses today on verse 32: “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” But before I start thinking about the freedom you’re offering, I need to think about what is keeping me un-free. What has be captive that I need freedom from? Jesus answers that question specifically in verse 34: “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin.”

So why is it that my sin is able to and does enslave me? What is happening there? Carrying around shame and guilt is a big part of it. No matter how much we might try to brush it off or ignore it, there is this piece of our conscience that will needle us. Sometimes it will cause us to protect the sin. To not confess it, but to secretly carry the burden of it. Those are the shameful sins like stealing, lust, or adultery. Even up to murder.

Then there are the subtle sins that just slowly poison us. Sins like envy and gossiping. Or how about hate? That’s one that we just carry around with us, but Jesus tells us in the Sermon on the Mount that to hate is as bad on our soul as murder.

But Jesus offers something unique. Absolution. Forgiveness from you. Reconciliation with you. Freedom to move in the world as someone who sins but has a weird freedom from its guilt and shame. And when we have this freedom and we take that freedom and use it to simply follow you, pray to you, get to know you, etc., then these weird fruits start to just grow out of us naturally, even in the worst of circumstances. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Goodness. Kindness. Gentleness. Faithfulness. Self-control. And others will notice the difference. When those fruits start to grow out of me, they will see you in those fruits.

Father, lest I forget, one of the commands Jesus gave me was to forgive others as you have forgiven me. Oh, how this can be hard. But that self-righteous decision to hold onto my anger and ill-wishes for another person are sin too. And they poison me. And you know they poison me. So help me to know what real forgiveness looks like. I pray you will lead me just a little deeper into the center of your heart today.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Psalm 102:1

Psalm 102

A prayer of one overwhelmed with trouble, pouring out problems before the Lord.

1 Lord, hear my prayer!
    Listen to my plea!

Psalm 102:1

Dear God, I wanted to capture not only the verse that Sr. Miriam highlighted today in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but also include the description of the psalm given to us by scripture. As I think about the pervasive problem in my life that I have poured out to you for well over a decade now, I can say that I’m actually tired of it. I’m tired of praying about it. I’m tired of lamenting it. I’m tired of the pain that I’m addressing when I pray about it. I’m tired of the pain I feel from it. To some extent, I feel hopeless about it, and my prayer feels fruitless.

It’s that last one that gives me pause and want to un-say all of the rest of the things I just said. Has the prayer really been fruitless? I don’t know that it has done anything to make the situation any better or the pain any less, but I can say that it has affected me. It has changed me. I’ve discovered things about myself and about you that I didn’t know 10 or 15 years ago. I’m better now. I’m also more sensitive to the pain of others. The fire has refined me. The breaking has allowed you to put me back together in a better way.

It’s interesting to get older and feel legitimately closer to death. I’m still relatively young and likely have decades ahead of me, but I’m just feeling the slippage of time in a way I didn’t used to. I think part of my pain now is that I don’t know if the situation over which I lament will be resolved in my lifetime. Will I die with this pain and disappointment?

So now I need to think about the forgiveness part of this lament. The hurt I’m experiencing was caused by the actions of many, including my own. Do I forgive the actions of the others? Do I forgive myself?

Father, that is part of this process too: Forgiveness. I need to remember that the sorrow comes from some situation, and my mind is probably blaming someone for that situation, including myself. Help me to identify what needs to be forgiven in others and myself, and help me to not only extend that forgiveness, but then know how to and how not to act on that forgiveness. Where do I draw the line? Help me get there.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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John 8:1-11

8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

11 “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

John 8:1-11

Dear God, so okay, I’ve been struggling with what forgiveness looks like over the last couple of weeks. But I am reminded over and over again, especially during Lent, that Jesus made forgiveness a critical piece of our lives. And he modeled that through his life. Quoting Sister Miriam from today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation:

Not only does Jesus exhort us to ask the Father to forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” but also he immediately reiterates and augments this portion of the prayer at its conclusion to expound upon the necessity of it (see Matthew 6:14-15). Of all the things Jesus could beseech us to pray for and about, he insists upon forgiveness. But he does not just speak about it; he shows us the reality of it upon the Cross, offering his life on behalf of the forgiveness of our sins, pleading with the Father to “forgive them; for they know not what they do.”

So that’s one of the big things for me to keep in mind here. I am honestly not sure if the people who are hurting me the most right now even know they are doing it. Or understand that it’s wrong. Or maybe it’s not wrong. Maybe I’m wrong. Frankly, it can be hard to know. But is part of the forgiveness process understanding the other person is possibly ignorant of their offense? I understand that sometimes people intentionally hurt and forgiveness needs to be extended in those cases as well, but do we need to start with giving the benefit of the doubt and assuming ignorance of offense?

Father, I want to close with a prayer Sister Miriam used to close yesterday’s meditation, making it my own prayer to you: Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I offer you my heart and the places where bearing wrongs from other people has been so difficult. Please forgive me for the ways I have tried to destructively cope and save myself and turn away from your love. Please be with me here and give me the gift of true patience with an open and offering heart, united to you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

May your grace not
Forsake us, O Lord, we
Pray,
But make us dedicated to
Your holy service
And at all times obtain for
Us your help

Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

Dear God, I want to take the grace you have given me and turn it to the world, to serve and to love in your name. Please help me to do this. I think that is what the “Collect for Mass of the Day” is telling me I should think, and I agree. That is a good life.

I guess one question would be, why do I need this external grace from you. If I’m a human who has made mistakes, why can’t I just forgive myself, apologize to those I wronged, if there are any, and then move on. Why do I need forgiveness from you? How does that make my life better?

Those are actually good questions that have vague answers. For the person who doesn’t believe in you, it is my opinion, that they are still grappling with guilt that they cannot absolve themselves. There is something in our psyche that knows that, while we have sinned against others or even our own bodies, the repentance David gave in Psalm 51 after his affair with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah is appropriate when he says that it is against you he has sinned. Again, my opinion, I think there is something in all of us that knows you’re there, at least in some form, and that we are accountable to you. I talked a week or two ago about the man I know who didn’t like the rules you made, so he decided he would remove you from the equation and, thus, remove his own guilt. I think he’s still living by that philosophy, but I don’t think it’s working. I think he is still burdened by his guilt.

And then going back to the “Collect for Mass of the Day,” if I get to a point where I have come to you, repented, and receive absolution from you, then I can take that freedom and offer it to others. I can love them. I can love you.

Father, let me start with repentance. I confess to you, Almighty God, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words. In what I have done, and what I have failed to do. Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore I ask the Holy Spirit to pray for me. I am sorry. Thank you for redemption and reconciliation through Jesus. Thank you, Father.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 22, 2025

O God, who grant us
By glorious healing
Remedies while still on
Earth
To be partakers of the
Things of heaven,
Guide us, we pray, through
This present life
And bring us to that light
In which you dwell


Collect for Mass of the Day - March 22, 2025

Dear God, it is so evident to me that we are damaged. All of us. It reminds of me the poem "This be the Verse" by Philip Larkin. I know I've mentioned this in prayers before:

They [mess] you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.


But they were [messed] up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.


Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

It started with Adam and Eve and it trickles into today. I don’t agree with the last line of this poem, that we shouldn’t have any kids ourselves. But I fear that is the sentiment todays youth are carrying into adulthood. When they see the pain they feel hopeless. Like the world is doomed. And I’ll admit that I would not want to raise a child in the current technological world, much less the one that will be around in 10-20 years from now.

So what do we do now? From the collect of the mass today, we look for your glorious healing. I was just talking with someone about what we are selling when we present your Gospel. Is it fire insurance–rescue from hell–or is it healing now. Receiving forgiveness. Learning how to extend forgiveness. Receiving your “remedies while still on earth.” “To be partakers in the things of heaven.” To be part of your kingdom coming and your will being done on earth as it is in heaven.

Going back to the poem, it’s the last stanza that needs your redemption. That’s where Mr. Larkin is missing you. The deepening of the coastal shelf will happen without you, but with you–with your grace, both received and given–that coastal shelf will be filled in and the children we bring into the world will have the opportunity to bring that grace forward. Oh, Father, help me to be part of bringing your grace forward through my reception of your grace and then extending it to others.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 17, 2025

O God, who have taught us to chasten our bodies for the healing of our souls, enable us, we pray, to abstain from all sins, and strengthen our hearts to carry out your loving commands.

Collect for the Mass of the Day – March 17, 2025

Dear God, when I read this passage this morning I thought of the Serenity Prayer from AA: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” In the case of the Collect, it is talking about disciplining ourselves under your “loving commands” so that our souls can be healed and our hearts strengthened. And I know this is true. When I am able to discipline myself to avoid sin and pursue you, the peace that passes understanding almost always follows. But when I allow sin and the shame that comes with it to enter into the picture it is hard.

I talked to someone a few years ago who tried another approach. He rejected you because he saw you as the rule maker and, therefore, the source of his guilt. If he got rid of you then he was able to get rid of the guilt he felt. I don’t know how or if that is still working for him, but it’s something that has always stuck with me as a unique solution to the problem of guilt. I pray for him this morning that he might be at peace and find that peace in you.

Sister Miriam kind of describes this guilt/peace situation in part of her commentary in today’s entry from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation when she says, “We see this in Genesis with Adam and Eve, before and after the Fall and the entrance of original sin. Before the rupture of sin, Adam and Eve experienced wholeness, communion, and integration of themselves with God, within themselves, with each other, and with creation. After the rupture of sin, this turning away from love, they experienced the disintegration of every aspect of their being.”

Father, I want to be fully integrated with you. Help me to be that today. Help me to “abstain from all sins,” and “carry about your loving commands” so that my soul might be healed and my heart strengthened in your service.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Psalm 51

Psalm 51

Prayer for Cleansing and Pardon

To the leader. A Psalm of David, when the prophet Nathan came to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy,
    blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
    and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against you, you alone, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are justified in your sentence
    and blameless when you pass judgment.
5 Indeed, I was born guilty,
    a sinner when my mother conceived me.

6 You desire truth in the inward being;
    therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
    wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones that you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins,
    and blot out all my iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and put a new and right spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from your presence,
    and do not take your holy spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and sustain in me a willing spirit.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
    and sinners will return to you.
14 Deliver me from bloodshed, O God,
    O God of my salvation,
    and my tongue will sing aloud of your deliverance.

15 O Lord, open my lips,
    and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 For you have no delight in sacrifice;
    if I were to give a burnt offering, you would not be pleased.
17 The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

18 Do good to Zion in your good pleasure;
    rebuild the walls of Jerusalem;
19 then you will delight in right sacrifices,
    in burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings;
    then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Dear God, as I think of David’s state of mine while he wrote this poem, this psalm after Nathan’s confrontation, I think of the devastation he felt. How unique it is to get this kind of a view of the heart of a man when he is confronted with his grievous sin: murder, adultery, rape?, lies, secrets, manipulation, corrupting others (Joab, messengers, etc.). And not only did David write this down before you, but he shared it. The part of the poem that says, “13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you,” really touches me because this is him saying that he and his pride are at your mercy. If it takes humiliating himself to achieve your forgiveness, he’ll do it. He didn’t want this pain to be wasted. He knew it was too late to rectify what he had done to Uriah, Bathsheba, Joab, the messengers, and even Nathan. They were forever damaged. He could apologize privately, but to do this publicly and show his remorse publicly like this was a huge step.

The downside is that there was no stopping him losing the moral high ground with his children. When his eldest son Amnon rapes his daughter, Tamar, David has nothing to say. When Absalom kills Amnon in revenge, David has nothing to do but exile Absalom. Then Solomon grew up knowing how David treated his mother and her first husband before he was born, and that likely impacted his view of women. The repentance was good, but there was still unfixable damage.

Sister Miriam in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation focused on verses 10 and 12 today. It’s interesting because she takes those and then focuses on how your covenant with us is unbreakable by you. And that’s all good and well. And I’m grateful that you love me through Jesus life, death, blood, and resurrection. Without that, I’m not sure what my life would even be about. Why I would even be here. Without my relationship with you, I would have no reason to do anything for anyone else. Why love my neighbor when that is a waste of the years I have here on earth. Without you, then my life should be all about me and my happiness.

Father, oh how grateful I am that I do have you! Being part of you and having you in me makes it okay that I’m so small. It makes it good to give others around me as much love as I can. “I love you, Lord. And I lift my voice to worship you. Oh, my soul, rejoice! Take joy my King in what you hear. Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear.” (Shout out Laurie Klein for her song.)

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 

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Matthew 16:24-27

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds.
Matthew 16:24-27

Dear God, when my wife and I were praying together this morning, we talked about laying down our bitterness—the wrongs people have done to us that stick around in our minds. Forgiveness.

She told me about a great novel she read that, towards the end has one last argument between a husband and wife. The wife is pious but unforgiving and bitter. The husband is not pious at all. Just before he leaves to live alone for the rest of his life, he calls her on it. Paraphrasing: “I’m not pious, but you are. But you don’t forgive. What good will your piety do for you on the other side when you’ve never forgiven others?”

I think that feeds into this passage. “Give up your life for my sake.” That means giving up the hurt and the bitterness too. It means embracing the role you have for me to play in this world instead of caring about what role I have for me to play in this world. It means seeing another person’s offensive behavior for what it might be beneath the surface and disregarding how it impacted/impacts me. Not that I should allow myself to be abused. But once I’ve removed myself from the abusive situation, I think you call me to let go and prayerfully consider what actions you would have me take for that other person’s good.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, please guide me. Teach me. Holy Spirit, pray for me. Pray for those who are on my heart as I type this out. And I also want to pray for the two people today I know who are experiencing memorial services/funerals for their loved ones. Please ease their pain. Comfort them. They are people of faith in you. Please meet them and strongly support them.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2019 in Matthew

 

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Peter & John — 1 John 3:7-10

1 John 3:7-10 NIV
[7] Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. [8] The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. [9] No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. [10] This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.

Dear God, I must be misinterpreting what John meant in verses 9 and 10 because I see plenty of Christians continuing to sin, including me. Part of my story is that I kept getting frustrated by my sin as a child. I went to a Baptist Church at the time and from the ages of 9 to 17, I probably walked the aisle and got “saved” close to 30 times when you add up Fellowship of Christian Athletes conferences, church revivals, and just church services. I would hear the speaker talk about a transformed life, I would figure I must not have done it right the previous times and I would “give my life to Jesus” again.

Then I went to a conference that taught me how to be a disciple. Somehow, I figured out that this life on earth wasn’t about being sin-free. It was about the journey with you. It was about my mistakes and failures coupled with your love and redemption. It was about my growth and learning more and more about how you see the world as opposed to how I had seen the world up until then (and that process is ongoing). It was more about how you saw me and my life than how I saw me. My life became smaller and smaller in my own eyes, and I mean that in a good way. There is a great freedom in just being a piece of your plan and not needing to achieve through performance or sinlessness.

Father, I don’t mean to contradict John here because I do think being sinless is a goal. But it needs to be considered along with the realization that we are all on a continuum of growth and there is mercy from you for our failings. Maybe the difference between my first eight years of faith and the next 31 years is that after I was 17 I started to see how you see me in a new way and I came to have the same peace with myself over my sinful nature that you have with me through Jesus’ blood and redemption. Help me to live in that victory and peace even more today.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2019 in 1 John, Peter and John

 

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