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John 13:36-37

15 Apr

36 Simon Peter asked, “Lord, where are you going?”

And Jesus replied, “You can’t go with me now, but you will follow me later.”

37 “But why can’t I come now, Lord?” he asked. “I’m ready to die for you.”

John 13:36-37

Dear God, Peter gets a bad rap when it comes to chickening out after Jesus was arrested. It’s true. After Jesus was arrested, Peter caved, but before the arrest, he was ready to go. He was wielding a sword. He was ready to go down swinging. He had been emotionally preparing himself for this. It was go time!

But how would it have helped Jesus if Peter had turned himself in after the arrest? Jesus was beyond saving at that point, and Peter knew it. I’m not saying what Peter did was right. I’m not saying he shouldn’t have been ashamed of himself when he did it. I’m just saying I get it, and what he did is not, in my opinion, a mark of cowardice.

In Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam concludes today’s entry with, “Jesus is so good to Peter and so attentive to his heart and the damage he did to himself by his own denial that Jesus will set up another scene by a charcoal fire, this one leading to a threefold affirmation of love and restoration (see John 21:9-19). Nothing is wasted on Jesus. Jesus uses everything in our lives to bring about restoration if we allow him to do so.” I like the image of “nothing wasted.” It reminds me of the prayer someone taught me years ago about making the pain count. Don’t let it be wasted.

Father, Jesus experienced unbelievable pain 2,000 years ago, but, oh, how you made it count! And there is a lot of pain in the world that is greater than the pain I experience. Please don’t let it be wasted. Make it count. The world is a big place. Bigger than I can fathom. And time is long. Longer than I can imagine. You are moving things in the world and nudging them here and there in ways that are way beyond my ability to comprehend. So I won’t try. I’ll just thank you, worship you, love you, and serve you. “Take my life, Lord. Let it be consecrated, Lord, to thee.”

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 15, 2025 in John, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – April 14, 2025

14 Apr

Grant, we pray, Almighty God
That, though in our
Weakness we fail,
We may be revived through
The passion of your only
Begotten son.

Collect for Mass of the Day – April 14, 2025

Dear God, revive us again. That’s the verb I get from this phrase highlighted in Sister Miriam’s book Restored: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. “Revive.”

I was reading a blog post this morning by Molly Wilcox, someone who “reconstructed” her faith through difficult times. Of course, I immediately thought about the phrase “deconstructing faith” that has become a lightning rod over the last few years. Some will tell you it’s dangerous. Some will tell you it’s essential. For my part, I like the idea of “reconstruction.” I built my faith when I was young and immature–both emotionally and spiritually. I’m still trying to mature even at the age of 55. Why wouldn’t I be consistently examining my beliefs and theology before you, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit?

The biblical example I thought of this morning was Job. He entered the narrative of Job as a mature man with what he thought was a mature faith. You seemingly found no blame in him, although you did still have lessons for him to learn. And by the end of the book he went from a faith that saw you as a rewarder of good and punisher of bad to a faith that saw his life as a complete submission to whatever your plan was, regardless of what it cost him personally. Some would call what Job did “deconstruction.” I like the word “reconstruction” better.

Father, all of this links to the verb “revive” because reconstruction done right does lead to revival. Life in you is full of new insights and realizations. Never let my heart grow so old or cold that it is defensive and unwilling to be examined for errancy, pride, and inflexibility. I want to know you. Teach me. Revive me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 14, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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John 11:45-54

12 Apr

45 Many of the people who were with Mary believed in Jesus when they saw this happen. 46 But some went to the Pharisees and told them what Jesus had done. 47 Then the leading priests and Pharisees called the high council together. “What are we going to do?” they asked each other. “This man certainly performs many miraculous signs. 48 If we allow him to go on like this, soon everyone will believe in him. Then the Roman army will come and destroy both our Temple and our nation.”

49 Caiaphas, who was high priest at that time, said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about! 50 You don’t realize that it’s better for you that one man should die for the people than for the whole nation to be destroyed.”

51 He did not say this on his own; as high priest at that time he was led to prophesy that Jesus would die for the entire nation. 52 And not only for that nation, but to bring together and unite all the children of God scattered around the world.

53 So from that time on, the Jewish leaders began to plot Jesus’ death. 54 As a result, Jesus stopped his public ministry among the people and left Jerusalem. He went to a place near the wilderness, to the village of Ephraim, and stayed there with his disciples.

John 11:45-54

Dear God, I don’t know where Sister Miriam is going to go with this passage in today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but I had a thought as I read it. You made this plan Caiaphas-proof. Caiaphas was wrong. He thought Jesus was here to lead a revolution. He thought the people were stupid enough to follow him into a hopeless revolution. He thought he was protecting everyone. He thought he was doing the right thing.

I wonder what would have happened if Caiaphas had gone to Jesus in the night like Nicodemus did back in John 3 and just asked him flat out, “Jesus, you’re obviously special. Please explain to me what you’re up to.” In retrospect, that’s what he should have done although that would have changed your plan. Yeah, everything worked the way it was supposed to. Maybe it was because Jesus had been so insulting of the Pharisees up to that point. Maybe Caiaphas’s heart was already hardened, much like Pharoah’s. Little did he know the Temple was already going to be destroyed in a few years. Nothing lasts forever.

In her writing for today, Sister Miriam is still talking about forgiveness, both accepting it and offering it to others. I still don’t quite understand how she links it to this passage except that Jesus’s real purpose was to offer forgiveness to us. But she has a line that made me think of Caiaphas: “We offer to Jesus our pain, agony, bitterness, and hardened hearts, and he takes our offering, brings it to his heart upon the Cross on which he hangs, and in return offers us mercy for the forgiveness of our own sins, healing from the sins others have committed against us, and the restoration of our lives.” Just the fact that I had mentioned Caiaphas’s hardened heart and she included “hardened hearts” in her writing made me curious about Caiaphas. What were his hurts? What were his fears? What needed forgiven in his life. Whom did he need to forgive?

Father, I am sorry. I have been arrogant. I have been judgmental. I have been harsh. I have been selfish and self-indulgent. Oh, my Jesus, as I sit here now, imagining you on the Cross, I am grateful. And I’m so sorry. I have no right to expect anything out of life, including the kindness of others to me. I already have it so much better than I deserve because you are with me. You love me. You forgive me. Thank you. Help me to release others from what I think they owe me and to simply live in the gratitude of what you’ve done for me and then offer that same gift from you to them.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2025 in John, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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John 6:60-71

11 Apr

60 Many of his disciples said, “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?”

61 Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you? 62 Then what will you think if you see the Son of Man ascend to heaven again? 63 The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64 But some of you do not believe me.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning which ones didn’t believe, and he knew who would betray him.) 65 Then he said, “That is why I said that people can’t come to me unless the Father gives them to me.”

66 At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. 67 Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?”

68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. 69 We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.”

70 Then Jesus said, “I chose the twelve of you, but one is a devil.” 71 He was speaking of Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, one of the Twelve, who would later betray him.

John 6:60-71

Dear God, in today’s reflection from Sister Miriam in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, she focused on verses 63 and 68. What she quoted: “The words I have spoken to you are Spirit and life.” “…You have the words of eternal life.” I copied all of the verses around these words because I think context is important, but the nugget she’s extracting from those 12 verses are the heart of the truth from this passage. Jesus was of you. Was you. Where else can I go?

As I think about forgiveness this week, both receiving it and giving it to others, I know I have work to do. How do I know? Because last night I had a dream I haven’t had in a while (at least that I remember) of really yelling at someone who has done things that have hurt me. I’ve talked to this person about it before, but they just don’t see it. And they continue to do it. This isn’t a person I can just remove from my life. They are an integral part of it. How do I move forward?

My wife sent me a link this morning from the Abiding Together Podcast as I was getting ready that happens to be a forgiveness meditation by Sister Miriam. She doesn’t know yet that I had this dream last night. We haven’t had a chance to talk yet this morning. But I foresee myself sitting with this meditation at some point today.

In the entry from today’s Restored reflection from Sister Miriam, she gives her steps in the meditation:

  1. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you whom you need to forgive. (It could be a family member, a friend, an abuser, or yourself.)
  2. Picture the person in front of you and pay attention to what you feel in your heart and body.
  3. Make an account of the debt they own you. (What did they take from you? How did they hurt you? It is okay to feel angry or nothing at all.)
  4. Imagine telling them what they did to hurt you and how it has affected you.
  5. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any identity lies you believe about yourself based on the incident.
  6. Renounce the identity lie: “In the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce the like that I am not loved or cared for, that I have to perform to be loved, and so forth.”
  7. Announce the truth of your identity in Christ: “In the name of Jesus Christ, I announce the truth that I am see, that I am valuable, that I am loved, and so forth.”
  8. Bring the person with you to meet Jesus on the Cross at Calvary; look at his face of care and mercy.
  9. Ask Jesus to forgive the person.
  10. Ask Jesus to give you the grace to forgive the person.
  11. Pray a prayer of blessing for that person. Ask God to bless them and heal them on their journey.
  12. Ask Jesus to seal this forgiveness and heal the wounds in your life.
  13. Thank God for his healing mercy and grace.

Father, this will be one I have to do offline, but I’ll see you later this morning with this. I love you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2025 in John, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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John 8:31-36

09 Apr

31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

33 “But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?”

34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.”

John 8:31-36

Dear God, in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam focuses today on verse 32: “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” But before I start thinking about the freedom you’re offering, I need to think about what is keeping me un-free. What has be captive that I need freedom from? Jesus answers that question specifically in verse 34: “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin.”

So why is it that my sin is able to and does enslave me? What is happening there? Carrying around shame and guilt is a big part of it. No matter how much we might try to brush it off or ignore it, there is this piece of our conscience that will needle us. Sometimes it will cause us to protect the sin. To not confess it, but to secretly carry the burden of it. Those are the shameful sins like stealing, lust, or adultery. Even up to murder.

Then there are the subtle sins that just slowly poison us. Sins like envy and gossiping. Or how about hate? That’s one that we just carry around with us, but Jesus tells us in the Sermon on the Mount that to hate is as bad on our soul as murder.

But Jesus offers something unique. Absolution. Forgiveness from you. Reconciliation with you. Freedom to move in the world as someone who sins but has a weird freedom from its guilt and shame. And when we have this freedom and we take that freedom and use it to simply follow you, pray to you, get to know you, etc., then these weird fruits start to just grow out of us naturally, even in the worst of circumstances. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience. Goodness. Kindness. Gentleness. Faithfulness. Self-control. And others will notice the difference. When those fruits start to grow out of me, they will see you in those fruits.

Father, lest I forget, one of the commands Jesus gave me was to forgive others as you have forgiven me. Oh, how this can be hard. But that self-righteous decision to hold onto my anger and ill-wishes for another person are sin too. And they poison me. And you know they poison me. So help me to know what real forgiveness looks like. I pray you will lead me just a little deeper into the center of your heart today.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 9, 2025 in John, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Prayer after Communion

04 Apr

Grant, we pray, O Lord,
That, as we pass from old
to new,
So, with former ways left
behind,
We may be renewed in
Holiness of mind.

Prayer after Communion

Dear God, communion is an interesting thing Jesus left us. I’m sorry that it has, to some extent, become a divider among Christians. I think it grieves you that this has happened. I’m sure Jesus thought it was pretty simple at that last supper. He’s in anguish. He’s knows he’s about to suffer. If he had any doubts that he would suffer, they were certainly removed by Moses and Elijah at the Transfiguration (Luke 9:31). So here he is with his disciples, and he gives them a symbol of what will happen to his body (broken) and blood (poured out). A few months ago I actually wondered if every meal we have shouldn’t be communion. If every time I bite into a sandwich or even a tortilla–maybe more especially a tortilla–I shouldn’t be remembering Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection. When I pray before a meal, should that be the focus of the prayer, or at least included as part of it. Have we just made something given to us as a beautiful gift into something else that we can use to divide us and drive a wedge between us?

Wow, I didn’t expect to go here this morning with this reading from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but that’s where my thoughts led me. To lament and see that some repentance on my part might be due. This is really going to make me rethink everything, or at least every time I break bread.

Back to this prayer itself, that I would experience the leaving behind of my former self and renew myself to your holiness through the broken body and poured out blood of Jesus, yes, I claim this. Even in this time with you this morning, with no bread or body around anywhere, I submit to you, thank you for everything you are–from the God of the Old Testament, to yourself revealed through Jesus in the New Testament, to the Holy Spirit with me this morning–and pray that you will help me to walk forward with a renewed heart and mind.

Father, thank you for being with me this morning. Help me to sink into you. As I go to work this morning, help me to worship you well and love others through that work. As I interact with family and friends, help me to love them well and to be your ambassador of love to them.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Isaiah 49:14-15

02 Apr

14 Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us;
    the Lord has forgotten us.”

15 “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?
    Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible,
    I would not forget you!

Isaiah 49:14-15

Dear God, verse 15 is so powerful and wonderful. So reassuring. You built in a love of child into parents–especially mothers–that is amazing. And you knew how to put it there because that love for us is in you.

What’s interesting is that it is easier and easier for a child to forget its parent, just as it is easier and easier for us to forget you. There is an epidemic in our country today of adult children walking away from their families of origin. There can be any number of reasons for this. There can be unhealed pain. There can be just plain ol’ selfishness and even cruelty. Vengeance for something either done or perceived to have been done. And it can be hard, as the adult child, to see the parent with your eyes. To give them grace.

And we do this to you. We walk away, either from unhealed pain or selfishness. We might even want to be intentionally cruel to you or exact our vengeance upon you for something we perceived you did that we felt betrayed us.

But your love for us does not work that way. You never forget. You never leave. You are the father on the porch, waiting for us to come down the road. You give us the freedom to walk away, but you also never take away our freedom to turn around and come home.

Father, I have pain as a parent. I am sorry I have inflicted that kind of pain on you in the past. I am sorry my figurative brothers and sisters in the world continue to inflict that kind of pain on you. I hope that my love and the love from my other figurative brothers and sisters who are worshipping you today brings you joy in your existence. I willingly and gladly receive your love. I give you my heart and my soul.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 2, 2025 in Isaiah, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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John 4:43-54

31 Mar

43 At the end of the two days, Jesus went on to Galilee. 44 He himself had said that a prophet is not honored in his own hometown. 45 Yet the Galileans welcomed him, for they had been in Jerusalem at the Passover celebration and had seen everything he did there.

46 As he traveled through Galilee, he came to Cana, where he had turned the water into wine. There was a government official in nearby Capernaum whose son was very sick. 47 When he heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went and begged Jesus to come to Capernaum to heal his son, who was about to die.

48 Jesus asked, “Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?”

49 The official pleaded, “Lord, please come now before my little boy dies.”

50 Then Jesus told him, “Go back home. Your son will live!” And the man believed what Jesus said and started home.

51 While the man was on his way, some of his servants met him with the news that his son was alive and well. 52 He asked them when the boy had begun to get better, and they replied, “Yesterday afternoon at one o’clock his fever suddenly disappeared!” 53 Then the father realized that that was the very time Jesus had told him, “Your son will live.” And he and his entire household believed in Jesus. 54 This was the second miraculous sign Jesus did in Galilee after coming from Judea.

John 4:43-54

Dear God, as I read this story this morning, I was struck by the words exchanged between the government official and Jesus:

Government Official (assuming what he said): Jesus, please come and heal my son!

Jesus: Will you never believe in me unless you see miraculous signs and wonders?

Government Official: Lord, please come now before my little boy dies.

Jesus: Go back home. Your son will live!

Jesus challenges the official, and the official proves that he isn’t there for a show. He doesn’t care about water being turned into wine. He isn’t there to be impressed and convinced of anything. He just wants his son to live, and he sees Jesus’s power in that moment as an avenue to getting what he wants. And Jesus has mercy on him.

I wonder who this man later became in “The Way.” What about the boy he saved? The rest of the family? How did they respond when they heard Jesus was killed? Did they believe in his resurrection?

I like the first paragraph of what Sister Miriam wrote for today’s entry in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation: “Jesus does not refuse those who come to him and ask in their need. He never refuses an earnest prayer of the heart. Although the way he answers our needs and prayers may be different from what we anticipate, Jesus always gives to us from his heart.”

Father, I have earnest prayers, but they are ignorant and all over the place. The truth is, I don’t know what you want to do in some of these difficult situations. I know my goal for the people I love is ultimate healing in their hearts, souls, minds, and bodies, regardless of what it costs me. I will give anything for that. So as I experience pain, hurt and fear, I give it to you. I trust you. I appreciate your love and comfort. I am grateful for the ability to even come to you in this moment and have your Holy Spirit pray with me and comfort me. Thank you.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 31, 2025 in John, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Entrance Antiphon for Mass of the Day – March 27, 2025

27 Mar

I am the salvation of the
People, says the Lord.
Should they cry to me in
Any distress,
I will hear them and I will
Be their Lord for ever.

Entrance Antiphon for Mass of the Day – March 27, 2025

Dear God, as I think about the reason I am a Christian–to be in right relationship with you with the passage into heaven being an afterthought–I think what Sister Miriam has to say in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation for today’s entry is affirming:

The Lord has place people in our lives who know us and love us and can understand us to varying degrees, but the Lord is the only one who knows and loves us and understands us fully. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and he receives us completely and continually. God does not reject even the places that we reject within ourselves. He is captivating in his goodness, attentiveness, and gentleness.

Yes! You know me. You understand me. You know when I’m right and why I’m right. You also know when I’m wrong and why I’m wrong. You understand my motivations, both good and bad. You have made a path for me to know you as much as humanly possible and then to be completely known by you and loved by you. You are amazing. You are amazing, God.

Father, help me to live in this love today and offer it to others. Help me to undo the manipulative bargain some think they have made with you to obey you so they can get into heaven and avoid hell, and offer then instead a life lived with you that will one day result in being with you in eternity. The question isn’t, “If you died today, do you know where you’ll spend eternity?” The question should be, “If you encounter shame or guilt today, where will you find love and absolution?” At least, I think that’s what the question should be. Regardless, I know there is a peace in knowing you that I don’t have apart from you. Help me to have that peace with you today, and to offer it to others.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

25 Mar

May your grace not
Forsake us, O Lord, we
Pray,
But make us dedicated to
Your holy service
And at all times obtain for
Us your help

Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

Dear God, I want to take the grace you have given me and turn it to the world, to serve and to love in your name. Please help me to do this. I think that is what the “Collect for Mass of the Day” is telling me I should think, and I agree. That is a good life.

I guess one question would be, why do I need this external grace from you. If I’m a human who has made mistakes, why can’t I just forgive myself, apologize to those I wronged, if there are any, and then move on. Why do I need forgiveness from you? How does that make my life better?

Those are actually good questions that have vague answers. For the person who doesn’t believe in you, it is my opinion, that they are still grappling with guilt that they cannot absolve themselves. There is something in our psyche that knows that, while we have sinned against others or even our own bodies, the repentance David gave in Psalm 51 after his affair with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah is appropriate when he says that it is against you he has sinned. Again, my opinion, I think there is something in all of us that knows you’re there, at least in some form, and that we are accountable to you. I talked a week or two ago about the man I know who didn’t like the rules you made, so he decided he would remove you from the equation and, thus, remove his own guilt. I think he’s still living by that philosophy, but I don’t think it’s working. I think he is still burdened by his guilt.

And then going back to the “Collect for Mass of the Day,” if I get to a point where I have come to you, repented, and receive absolution from you, then I can take that freedom and offer it to others. I can love them. I can love you.

Father, let me start with repentance. I confess to you, Almighty God, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words. In what I have done, and what I have failed to do. Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore I ask the Holy Spirit to pray for me. I am sorry. Thank you for redemption and reconciliation through Jesus. Thank you, Father.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 25, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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