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Disturbing Thought on Saul

11 May

Dear God, I had a disturbing thought about Saul as I thought about him when I woke up this morning: Did you just use him and then discard him for David? How could it have gone differently for Saul? I thought about this because it is obvious from Saul’s origin story that he wasn’t built to be king outside of his height. Later, when you’re picking David, you are clear that outward appearance doesn’t matter, but what’s in the heart does. Well, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of depth of character in Saul. Even though he is a head taller than anyone else around he just doesn’t seem up to the job.

So that’s my human brain. Then as I sit here with you and I work this out with the Holy Spirit, I’m reminded that your strength is made perfect in our weakness. In Saul’s case, there were times when you filled him and caused him to prophecy. In the next chapter, we will see that your Spirit will fill him and he will lead people into battle. He had ever opportunity to succeed if he would just find a way to lean into you and not make an idol out of his new position as king and the lineage it would leave for his family.

My wife and I were talking over breakfast about the worship service he did without Samuel that cause you to be so angry with him. I told her that it seems like others got away with a lot more than Saul did. She said, “How we worship matters.” I liked that. How I worship matters. How I lean into you matters. Even this morning, how I pray to you now, teach Sunday school later, and then worship with my wife after that matters.

Father, maybe you are using me and my life. Maybe you are sometimes asking me to do something that is beyond me so that I will simply lean into you instead of expecting to just get it done myself. And sometimes it might look for feel like I’ve been set up for failure, but I will lean into you and trust you. If you need to use me for a period and then have me move aside, so be it. Just help me to see what that time comes so that I can do it as worshipfully and humbly as possible. And since it is mother’s day, I want to just bathe my wife in prayer before I close this prayer journal. Love her. Help her to feel loved. This is a day of sorrow in so many ways, but I pray that your Holy Spirit will fill her and lift her. Raise up people around her who will love her and buoy her. Give her peace. Give her joy. Give her you. Help me to give her what you need her to have from me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 11, 2025 in 1 Samuel

 

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1 Thessalonians 5:12-22

07 May

12 But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, 13 and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. 14 We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 16 Rejoice always; 17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not quench the Spirit; 20 do not despise prophetic utterances. 21 But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; 22 abstain from every form of evil.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-22

Dear God, there’s almost too much here to think through, but it’s all so good. I almost need to see it in bullet-point form:

  • Honor leaders in the church
  • Show leaders in the church wholehearted love.
  • Live peacefully with each other
  • Warn the lazy
  • Encourage the timid
  • Care for the weak
  • Be patient with everyone (emphasis mine)
  • Don’t let anyone payback evil for evil (That’s an interesting one. The focus isn’t just on me not doing it, but that I shouldn’t let others do it.)
  • Do good to each other and to all outside of the church as well
  • Be joyful
  • Pray without ceasing
  • Be thankful regardless of the circumstances
  • Encourage and nurture the Holy Spirit
  • Be open to prophecies, but test them
  • Keep good in my life
  • Actively stay away from evil

See. I was right. There were 16 admonitions in those verses. And they are so good. Help me to carry at least a few of these with me today.

Father, right now, I want to thank you for last night. It wasn’t my best night, but I think it was a good night for you. And that’s great. I wasn’t “on” or really polished, but I think the entire event was able to bring glory to you and inspire people in their faith. Let it be. And I want to also mention this. I learned last night about a friend and dear woman whose husband has a cancer recurrence. Oh, how this sank my heart. For him. For her. Holy Spirit, move in his body. Heal. Comfort. Guide. Do the same for my friend. Comfort her. Encourage her. Guide her. Love her. Minister to them both through your Holy Spirit and even directly with angels who will comfort them. Draw them into the middle of your heart. Be glorified in their lives so that all who know them might see you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 7, 2025 in 1 Thessalonians

 

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John 21:18-25

04 May

18 Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to gird yourself and walk wherever you wished; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, and bring you where you do not wish to go.” 19 Now this He said, signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He *said to him, “Follow Me!”

20 Peter, turning around, *saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them; the one who also had leaned back on His bosom at the supper and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” 21 So Peter seeing him *said to Jesus, “Lord, and what about this man?” 22 Jesus *said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!” 23 Therefore this saying went out among the brethren that that disciple would not die; yet Jesus did not say to him that he would not die, but only, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?”

24 This is the disciple who is testifying to these things and wrote these things, and we know that his testimony is true.

25 And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they *were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself *would not contain the books that *would be written.

John 21:18-25

Dear God, I want to sit with John towards the end of his life for a moment. He could have sat down and told these stories for someone to write a long time ago. He could have done it immediately. But he didn’t. The end of John actually gives us, or at least I think it gives me, a little image of him sitting on the Island of Patmos deciding to get all of this down before he died (I know there are debates about when he wrote this, but I’m sitting with the “old John” as the author).

What’s always struck me about this book is that almost a third of it is spent on the Last Supper and that it ends so abruptly. Why not finish Jesus’s earthly life or end on a more grand scale. Matthew ends with the “Great Commission.” Mark and Luke end with a quick reference to the ascension (although Luke also starts Acts with a more detailed description of the ascension). But John just tells this story about Peter’s restoration and conversation with Jesus. It’s almost like the last thing he wanted to do was ensure everyone knew that Peter was the leader.

It makes me think of the stories that involve just Peter and John. The two that come to mind immediately where it’s just the two of them without James is when they run to the tomb, John gets there first, but Peter goes in first. Then there’s the story in Acts of the time they are walking about the fountain, the beggar cries out to them, and Peter answers, “Silver and gold have I none…” The common denominator in these stories is that Peter is the leader. Peter is the one willing to go into the tomb. Peter is the one who speaks to the beggar. Even during the Transfiguration, Peter is the one who is foolish and tries to say something in the midst of the amazing situation. And John loved him.

I think John loved a lot of people. I think he loved Nicodemus since the first story of Nicodemus is gentle,, and every reference to Nicodemus after that is flattering towards him. I think, to a certain extent, he loved Pilate. In my opinion, he paints the most gentle image of Pilate of any of the gospels. And he loved Peter. He knew the story of Peter’s betrayal of Jesus was out there. He wanted to make sure the restoration picture was out there too. He’s the only one who tells it.

Father, as I search for a takeaway for myself today, I think what I see is the need to love really love people. John is generous in how he portrays others to us. Help me to be that generous as I portray people I know to others. Help me to build up. And that includes people I don’t like or people who are against me. Help me to be generous of spirit to them. Help me to be kind to them. Help me to love them. Help me to give them the benefit of the doubt. Help me to be curious and not judgmental. Help me to not be jealous, but instead to delight in their good.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2025 in John

 

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Hebrews 10:32-34

01 May

32 Think back on those early days when you first learned about Christ. Remember how you remained faithful even though it meant terrible suffering. 33 Sometimes you were exposed to public ridicule and were beaten, and sometimes you helped others who were suffering the same things. 34 You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever.

Hebrews 10:32-34

Dear God, I think I’ve prayed about this in this setting before, but I’m starting to lay out the sermon I’ll do on May 25 at a local church, and while I don’t know that I will use this passage, it has something that I’m noodling with in my head. The idea that we aren’t doing this for personal gain now or fire insurance later. It’s not about loving you so I don’t go to hell. I don’t wake up in the morning looking behind me and seeing you chasing me with the threat of hell. I’m here right now just to love you and experience the fruits of the Spirit being in communion with you grows in me. I guess in a way I’m being selfish, but it’s like I’m selfish in my love for my wife and the attention I pay to her. I do it because it brings me joy as well.

So what are the “better things waiting for [me] that will last forever”? Some would say that those words represent “heaven.” And to some extent, I suppose they are right, but they would be looking at it too narrowly. If all I had waiting for me was not burning but walking the streets of gold every day then that would be pretty shallow. No, I believe you have a richness for me both in the life I live now and the life that is to come. Worshipping you. Being in your realm. Having your characteristics grow in me. Feeling more love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control each day as I get to know you better. Having those fruits perfected in me on the other side of this world. Those are the “better things waiting for [me] that will last forever.

Father, I just want to simply stop this morning, worship you, bow down before you, and say that you’re my God. You’re altogether lovely, worthy, and wonderful to me. I’m here for whatever you have for me today. Help me to be the man you need me to be and face it in your humility and love.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 1, 2025 in Hebrews

 

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Ephesians 4:11-16

30 Apr

11 Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12 Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ. 13 This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God’s Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ.

14 Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. 15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16 He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

Ephesians 4:11-16

Dear God, I was talking with a friend just yesterday about this last part that talks about us being different parts of the body. He suggested that I get involved with him on a project he’s doing, and I had to tell him that it didn’t fit my gifting. To his credit, he understood and didn’t push. I really appreciated that.

But going back to verses 14 and 15, oh, how this is a fear for me. There is a lot of talk the last few years about Christians “deconstructing” their faith. It is mainly talked about as something to fear and be rejected. I think the theory goes that we have been handed down these teachings for generations (although some are newer than a lot of people think) so we need to just rely on them, believe them, and then move on to something else. And there is something to be said for that. Leaning into the teachings of those who came before me and who have more experience than I have can be important.

However, sometimes people are wrong. Sometimes teaching is wrong. Was Jesus born in a barn/stable? People have always taught me that he was, but I can’t find that in the Bible anywhere. People have taught me that Jeremiah 29:11 is for me specifically: 11 “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.‘” But is it? Is that what God was telling me through Jeremiah, the weeping prophet? As you and I continue on this discipleship journey day by day, I am trying to see through the fog and into your nature. I try to get a regular dose of teaching from people I trust, and I am grateful that I don’t always agree with them because it allows me to challenge my thoughts and then filter them to see if I should change my mind.

Father, at the end of the day, I will go to my grave with errant theology. I heard on a podcast yesterday that great theologians centuries ago used to make their last writing a set of retractions of things they had said earlier. They used St. Augustine and his writing called Retractations as an example. So who am I to think I’m not a fool who is wrong about a lot of things? So I come into this day being grateful for you. Grateful for my wife. Thank you. Grateful for my children. Thank you. Grateful for our health. Thank you. Grateful for the food I will eat. Thank you. Grateful for my home. Thank you. Grateful for my job. Thank you. Grateful for my friends. Thank you. The list goes on and on. I also come into this day really loving you. I love you, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I am grateful for your love in return. Thank you. And now I take this love and share it with others. Thank you for that opportunity. Please keep me from teaching anything that would lead one person away from you.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2025 in Ephesians

 

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Hebrews 7:23-28

26 Apr

23 There were many priests under the old system, for death prevented them from remaining in office. 24 But because Jesus lives forever, his priesthood lasts forever. 25 Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf.

26 He is the kind of high priest we need because he is holy and blameless, unstained by sin. He has been set apart from sinners and has been given the highest place of honor in heaven. 27 Unlike those other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices every day. They did this for their own sins first and then for the sins of the people. But Jesus did this once for all when he offered himself as the sacrifice for the people’s sins. 28 The law appointed high priests who were limited by human weakness. But after the law was given, God appointed his Son with an oath, and his Son has been made the perfect High Priest forever.

Hebrews 7:23-28

Dear God, after I read this passage this morning I thought that if I were to hear five different preachers preach on this passage I would probably get five different opinions and explanations of what the author of Hebrews was saying here. Some would say it is evidence that everyone gets saved. Some would say it is just talking about Jesus being who he is and it doesn’t say anything about us and our salvation.

We really do get wrapped around the axle in our modern church about salvation and getting to be in heaven, and the deeper I sink into you the less I care. It’s not that I don’t care, but I almost feel like I can’t be distracted by the afterlife right now. I need to be about knowing you, loving you, and loving others now. That’s what this is all about. In her song, “In A Little White,” Amy Grant has a line that says, “We’re just here to learn to love him.” That’s what I feel like my job is right now. Learn to love you. Learn to love others. Learn to offer you to others (the part I’m worst at). If I focus on making sure I have my fire insurance and jumping through every hoop I have to in order to make sure my own rear end is “saved,” then I will have failed you and the whole point of being reconciled to you.

Father, I’m still not thankful enough, but it’s going to be a hard habit to break. But I am committed to breaking it. I still don’t share you enough with others. I want to break that habit/fear too. I don’t want power. I don’t want riches. More than ever, I don’t care how people look at me or see me. I’d just as soon have every deed I do be anonymous if I could. But I can’t. The work I do in the community has to have my name on it. So I’ll take that and lay it before you, ask you to bless it, and ask that maybe, if nothing else, when people see my name or face attached to something it will somehow make them think of you and want you a little more.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2025 in Hebrews

 

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Colossians 1:24-26

25 Apr

24 I am glad when I suffer for you in my body, for I am participating in the sufferings of Christ that continue for his body, the church. 25 God has given me the responsibility of serving his church by proclaiming his entire message to you. 26 This message was kept secret for centuries and generations past, but now it has been revealed to God’s people. 27 For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory.

Colossians 1:24-26

Dear God, I was given an amazing blessing yesterday. A family came and asked me to officiate their mother’s funeral. I didn’t have a close relationship with the family, but the interactions I had with their mother were meaningful, to her and to me. On a basic level, she was a donor for our nonprofit. But I could tell that our work really meant something to her. And the really sweet thing is that she and her sister-in-law, each of whom had married brothers so were only connected through the men they married, expressed so much love for each other through donations they would make to our clinic in each other’s honor. I loved being part of their relationship with each other in that way.

I mention all of this because I cried when I told my wife about it because they said something that really struck me. They said they were praying about who to get to speak at the funeral and they felt like you gave them my name. Even now, as I type this, tears come to my eyes on this. The idea that you are there, you know me, and you wanted me for this is awesome. Amazing. AMAZING! I sit here day after day, and I believe you are here. I pray to you. I read about you. I hear others talk about you and seek out sermons and podcasts that might teach me something about you. I talk with friends and my wife about you. I write about you. But sometimes it can feel more like a philosophy I’m following more than the actual God of the universe. But then I have a moment like that where a family tells me you gave them my name and…well, it brings me to tears. You really do know me.

I guess all of this relates to this passage because I am one of those Gentiles you are living in. Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, I am humbled and amazed. I am grateful. I need you living in me. And not for my fire insurance. The truth is, at this point, I would follow you to hell if it meant serving you is wrong because you are my gracious God and I am all in for you. Show me how to take this “secret” Paul mentions here to others. Help me to internalize it, breathe it, and share it. Bring your love for others into the world in this way as well. I love you, Father. Thank you for knowing me and loving me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 25, 2025 in Colossians

 

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1 Peter 1:17-19

24 Apr

17 And remember that the heavenly Father to whom you pray has no favorites. He will judge or reward you according to what you do. So you must live in reverent fear of him during your time here as “temporary residents.” 18 For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. 19 It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. 

Dear God, when I just read this passage this morning, my mind instantly thought of the Twila Paris song “Lamb of God.” The chorus says, “Oh, Lamb of God. Sweet Lamb of God. I trust the holy Lamb of God. Wash me in his precious blood. My Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God.”

This is the verse of the day for Bible Gateway, and I assume they’ve put it here to coincide with Easter last weekend. It’s still remarkable. What you did. What you’re doing. Who you are vs. who I am. You are the Almighty God of the universe. I am 1/7-billionth of the earth’s human population (not to mention the rest of your earthly creation). And yet here you are, ransoming for me. Taking the blow of humanity’s sin, including mine, so I can sit here and pray to you this morning.

So yesterday, I talked about being more grateful for everything including my food and everything else. How did it turn out? Did it change me? Apparently not. I ended up praying before just one out of the four meals I’ve had since then. I was ashamed of myself after I finished my breakfast this morning and I remembered. I’m sorry for my sense of entitlement. Especially on a day when I was talking to someone else about the food insecurity for some in our community, and yet I am so ungrateful.

Father, I also take Jesus for granted. I take his difficult life, horrific death, and powerful resurrection for granted. I’ll do my best to be grateful. I am grateful in the limited way I can be given how great all of this is compared with what I can comprehend. Thank you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 24, 2025 in 1 Peter

 

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Romans 14:6

23 Apr

6 Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. 

Romans 14:6

Dear God, I was looking at the verses around Bible Gateway’s “verse of the day” today (Romans 14:11), and I came across this line from Paul in verse 6. I was convicted. More often than not, when I am eating I do not give thanks to you for the food. I completely take it for granted that any amount of food I want is accessible to me any time I want it. The same is true for other things in my life.

  • My wife is amazing. Even though I try to not take her for granted, I know I do. I know I’m not nearly as grateful to you for her as I should be.
  • My home is terrific. As I heard the thunderstorm roll through at three o’clock this morning, I smiled. I was grateful for the rain, but I had zero fears of how a storm would negatively impact me. I knew my house would keep me safe from anything up to and including hail. Tornadoes were unlikely, so I wasn’t worried about that. And while an unlikely lightning strike could burn my house down, I never even worried about that.
  • Right now, I have a job that is pretty secure. I mean, anything can happen, but we are financially stable, and I do not wake up worried about my paycheck or if enough money will come to me on payday.
  • My wife and children and I are all healthy. This is huge, and probably the most fragile part of my life. It’s the part that could go South the easiest. But here I am, not worrying about these things when I wake up in the morning. We are healthy and safe.

I could probably go on and on, but my lack of conscious gratitude to you for the food I eat and the air I am able to breathe today is terrible. I am ashamed of myself right now.

Father, thank you for my daily bread. Help me to appreciate every morsel of food or drink that comes into my body. Help me to appreciate a body that processes it for energy and then service for you. Help me to appreciate the people you put in my life. And when I say help me, I’m not saying I want you to take these things away from me. Frankly, I’m too selfish for that. But I guess what I’m saying is that I really do feel convicted I’m not more grateful for the amazing life you’ve given to me. Give me the wisdom to use it how you would have me use it for your glory.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 23, 2025 in Romans

 

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John 10:22-33

21 Apr

22 It was now winter, and Jesus was in Jerusalem at the time of Hanukkah, the Festival of Dedication. 23 He was in the Temple, walking through the section known as Solomon’s Colonnade. 24 The people surrounded him and asked, “How long are you going to keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly.”

25 Jesus replied, “I have already told you, and you don’t believe me. The proof is the work I do in my Father’s name. 26 But you don’t believe me because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them away from me, 29 for my Father has given them to me, and he is more powerful than anyone else. No one can snatch them from the Father’s hand. 30 The Father and I are one.”

31 Once again the people picked up stones to kill him. 32 Jesus said, “At my Father’s direction I have done many good works. For which one are you going to stone me?”

33 They replied, “We’re stoning you not for any good work, but for blasphemy! You, a mere man, claim to be God.”

John 10:22-33

Dear God, sometimes we’ve just made up our minds and no answer will suffice. The group of people around Jesus that day already had their minds made up. No answer Jesus gave would have sufficed and made them believe. If he had said, “Yes, I am the Messiah. Get behind me and let’s make Israel great again,” they would have stoned him. If he had said, “Yes, I am the Messiah, but it’s not what you’ve always thoughts. I am here to die and come back to life for the redemption of the world’s sins and reconciliation of Jews and Gentiles to the Father,” they would have stoned him. The only answer that would have gotten him out of danger would have been a lie: “Who me? No, I’m not the Messiah!”

There are so many areas in life where I’ve already made up my mind. My heart is hard. Sometimes it’s easier to just walk away than go through the hard work of reconciliation. Or maybe I’ve developed a way of doing business at work that is out of date, but I keep doing it because it is comfortable, it is what I know, and it’s how it worked in the past.

Father, I need your Holy Spirit to speak to me gently but clearly. Well, maybe not even so gently if that’s what it takes. But I need to know when my thinking is stubborn and harmful. When I put a ceiling on people or opportunities. When I can’t see the whole picture through my limitations, so I shut down and decide to not see at all. I don’t want to be the people in the Temple from this story (I assume it’s largely the Pharisees). I want to love. I want to care about others and the work you have for me to do. I told my wife yesterday that, with Lent over and the Lenten meditations I was putting up daily on Facebook done, I feel like I need a new project. So then I set about trying to find something new on my own instead of waiting on your timing. Kind of like Peter looking for Judas’s replacement in Matthias instead of waiting on you to bring Paul around. So help me to wait. And help me to hear. Help me to learn. Help me to see.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2025 in John

 

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