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Irritable

06 Dec

No verse.

Dear God, I’m kind of tired today. I don’t know if it is the full/super moon or not, but I am seeing a lot of emotion in a lot of people. What is going on? And I think it’s in me too. I feel very emotional right now. I’m a little more impatient and easily angered. I’m not in the mood to suffer the shortcomings in others. I can’t pinpoint what’s going on in me in this moment, but when I get like this I feel the desire to exercise control over everything and everyone. I just want it done my way.

There were several times yesterday when I was praying to you in real time as I was working to solve some intricate problems. I think you guided me through that time, for which I am grateful. Thank you. Now I need your continued guidance. I need your help. I need your wisdom with my wife, my children, my staff, and my patients. Help me, Father.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2017 in Miscellaneous, Uncategorized

 

Addiction

05 Dec

My Utmost for His Highest reading for December 5

Dear God, I haven’t been doing well with my food addiction lately. Even in the last six or so weeks I can see that I’m gaining weight and using food for comfort. I’ve had this problem for as long as I can remember.

I suppose it’s the same with any addiction. Whether it’s alcohol, porn, drugs, food, or whatever else, it’s something that must be rejected. I guess what makes food harder is that you have to eat some of it every day. I can abstain from drugs, porn, or alcohol, but I come face to face with food three times a day (more, if I’m honest). I have to get this under control.

Father, even in typing this, I’m making the first step. I’m admitting that my eating has become unmanageable, I am powerless when it comes to rejecting bad food and too much food, and I need my higher power, which is you. I pray that you will help me today—at breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all of the in between times. I submit this as part of my worship of you and in honor of the life you’ve given me.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2017 in My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day

 

John 8:12

04 Dec

Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”

John 8:12

Dear God, smart aleck first response to this passage is, “I won’t have to, but do I still get to?” But I guess there’s some truth in my response because there is a part in all of our hearts that still wants to indulge ourselves and pursue some amount of darkness. As the Charlie Peacock song, “In the Light,” says, “I’m still a man in need of a savior.”

But what does it look like for me to walk in your light today? I think that the first thing it means is to consider my life worth nothing to me, but to complete the task you have given me, the task of testifying to your grace. (Acts 20:24) it all starts with the humility and decreasing so you can increase.

Then I need to reject some of my sinful nature as I realize it is popping up. If I’m judging people harshly, being selfish, or pursuing cares of this world instead of trying to see it with your eyes.

Next is to lead in love, not insecurity. I need to proactively point others towards you and reach out to those in pain. In my specific situation at work, I need to help others do the same.

Finally, I need to be about glorifying you and your name. I’ll be speaking for a moment in front of a large group tonight. Help me to point all of them to you. I will talk to several people today. Reveal yourself to them through me. Do all of this for your glory’s sake and so that I might be in your light.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 4, 2017 in John

 

Philippians 3:12

02 Dec

12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Philippians 3:12

Dear God, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the seeds we try to plant in our children’s lives and the hopes that we have that they will grow into something when they grow up. I remember reading the parable Jesus told of the seed that fell in the different types of soil and rock when my children were young and praying that the seeds my wife and I were planting would find deep, rich soil. Lately, as my children are both living far from me now and my current influence on their lives is minimal, my prayers for them usually include you helping those seeds that were planted long ago to break through any rock or thorns Satan is trying to put into their lives so that they might be your people.

I mention this in relation to this verse because it is a seed that was planted in me 30+ years ago. Fellowship of Christian Athletes has this as their theme verse one year when I was in high school, and every time I come across it I am taken back to those moments and even the feelings I would have at the time. I don’t necessarily walk around now in hard times saying, “I need to press on…” but I do get a grounding in my faith every time see it.

Father, thank you for the seeds you have planted and continue to plant in my life. Please help them to find good soil and avoid the vines, thorns, weeds, and rocks that Satan tries to use in my life. And I pray for the seeds you have planted and continue to plant in my wife’s and children’s lives. Help all of us press on towards the goal of loving you, worshipping you, and doing what we can to be your ambassadors.

In Jesus’ name I pray.

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 2, 2017 in My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day, Philippians

 

John 1:1-5

01 Dec

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was with God in the beginning. 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:1-5

 

Dear God, “that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” It can be so uncomfortable to have light shone in our darkness. Not “on” our darkness, but “in” our darkness. Yes, there are people who might come and look at our secrets and shine their light “on” our darkness, but we can still live in the denial and reject their judgment. No, when we allow Jesus to come in and shine the light “in” our darkness, that is when healing can happen. But are we ready for that?

I have been watching all of the reports of sexual harassment by a variety of men. People are shining a lot of light “on” darkness and it is a good thing in the way that people will be protected. But right now, the insufficiency in what is happening is that people are looking at the symptoms of what is going on and not the cause. What is feeding the darkness? Why do men do this?

I read an article this morning that men expose themselves because they want power over the other person. I disagree. Yes, they want to feel that power, but what is driving the need for that power? Where is that coming from? Let’s go deeper. Not that I have acted out in any of the ways that these men have, but I can tell you that a lot of my relational issues are out of insecurity. Am I lovable? Am I likable? Am I enough to drive desire in you? That’s what these me who expose themselves are doing. In my mind, that’s what they are asking—do I turn you on? They need that affirmation.

A few years ago, there was a thing going around YouTube of celebrities giving their younger selves some advice. “Dear younger me…” At the time, I wondered what I was say to 13-year-old John if I could go back and spend a few minutes with him. The answer came to me almost instantly, and I haven’t changed my answer since. When I thought back to my thoughts and feelings at that age, what I know now that I needed to hear was, “It’s okay. You’re going to find someone who loves you and whom you will love. Don’t worry.” I felt so unlovable back then. I was completely rejected by any girl I had liked up to that point. I had seen porn. For crying out loud, I had seen James Bond movies that totally distorted what sex is supposed to be. I felt inadequate and unlovable. Even after marriage, I carried those insecurities for a long time. And the elephant in the room that no one is talking about when it comes to the men who are accused right now is porn. Porn warps and destroys one’s perspective on sex and starts to rewire the brain accordingly. It would be interesting to know what role porn plays in the lives of the men accused today.

Father, that was quite a little sidebar, but I think it fits with you shining light “in” our darkness. I pray that you will help me to be willing to let you shine light in the dark places of my heart that I still protect. I’m not consciously aware of what they are, but I would be a fool to think they are not there. Purify me. Make me holy. Make me your perfect vessel. Make me your ambassador, and bring glory to your name through my life.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 1, 2017 in John, Uncategorized

 

Inspired by Fred’s Blog

30 Nov

The Next Phase

Dear God, I read a friend’s blog this morning and a story from when he was in his 20s reminded me of the enthusiasm of youth. He spent 10 years running a coffee shop and doing street witnessing at night. While I’ve never done anything that bold for that long, I can certainly recognize a zealousness in my 20s that has been dulled over the last 25 years. What causes that? Was I right then and wrong now? Was I foolish then and wise now?

When I really stop and think about it, I think zealousness about one’s own life philosophies or beliefs is inversely commensurate with one’s exposure to a broader world. It’s easy for the child to believe everything their parent teaches them when they are young because no one else challenges it. But as children age, learn about history, meet new people, read different books, and watch different videos (movies, TV shows, and clips they can watch online) they start to have to reconcile their small world with a vastly larger world.

In my own case, I used to be much more theologically conservative. Only some were going to Heaven and the rest were going to Hell. Certain things were definitely sin that needed to be repented of. My dogma was rigid and my ability to judge others was high. But then life starts to present me with certain realities. It’s easy to think homosexuality is wrong until you have to talk to your gay sibling about it and then you start to think about all of the ways that you yourself have grieved God sexually. It’s easy to think that only those who followed the Christian formula are going to heaven until hundreds of thousands of people (most of them Muslim) die instantaneously in a tsunami at the end of 2004 and you as yourself if hundreds of thousands of people just went straight to hell. It’s easy to think that poor people need to just pick themselves up and get to work until you sit with them in person and really understand the causes of multi-generational poverty and also the particular circumstances in their lives. That’s when you start to really work out your faith with fear and trembling. That is just a taste of what life has taught me over the last 25 years.

Father, I am still on this journey. I am still blind to my prejudices. I guess the one thing I have going for me is that I know that I’m ignorant. I know that my faith and love are incomplete. So I submit myself to you, your teaching, and your process for my life. Protect me from outright heresy. Please keep me from going too far in my worldly knowledge and philosophy. Lead me in your Spirit and your Truth. Be glorified in me so that your kingdom will come and your will will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2017 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Romans 3:23-26

28 Nov

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he makes sinners right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.

Romans 3:23-26

Dear God, when I was a senior in high school, my youth minister had some of us memorize three passages: Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, and Romans 10:9-10. The idea was that we could use these verses to lead someone to faith and discipleship in Jesus. While I learned the passages, come to think of it, I don’t think I ever used them the way he intended.

So this starts with Romans 3:23. All of us have sinned and fallen short of your glorious standard. It’s a great equalizer for me and reminder that I simply need a savior. To quote a Charlie Peacock song, “What’s going on inside of me? I despise my own behavior. This only serves to confirm my suspicion that I’m still a man in need of a savior.

Father, I need you as much now as I did 30 years ago when I first learned this passage. But it’s okay because your gift and sacrifice are still there for me. I can be at peace. Help me to live in that knowledge and to share it with others so that your glory will bring them closer to you and give them peace as well.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 28, 2017 in My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day, Romans

 

Colossians 3:16-17

27 Nov

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts. And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

Colossians 3:16-17

Dear God, I get most of my scriptures for these journals from Bible Gateway’s verse of the day. It seems that there have been a lot lately talking about being your representative/ambassador. I guess that’s fair since that’s probably the highest calling you given to any of us whether it be in our marriages, parenting, work, families of origin, or activity in our community. You want us to represent you well.

I’m in an interesting position at work because I am supposed to lead people, but I have a unique opportunity to do it with your discernment and wisdom. I also have a chance to make the struggles I’m dealing with transparent in a way that will bring you glory in their eyes and draw them closer to you.

Father, it’s a Monday and I have several things on my heart in terms of challenges at work. Help me to deal with each of them well. Bring glory to yourself through my actions. I want to decrease so that you can increase through me and in the eyes of others.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 27, 2017 in Colossians

 

Galatians 6:14

26 Nov

14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through whicha]”>[a] the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.
Galatians 6:14

Dear God, I think I used to boast a lot more than I do now. Oh sure, I still boast, but the hubris of youth caused me to boast more when I was younger. Now, I feel very unsure about so much. It’s true when they say that the younger we are the more we feel like we have all of the answers. Right now, I feel like I have many more questions than answers.

One area where I had a lot of pride about 10 years ago was in parenting. I thought I had it nailed and figured out. Now, I have so many things that confuse me that when I see other parents struggling with their children I have zero judgment for them. I have nothing but love for them. I’ve used the example of Johnny Manziel’s parents before. They were facing a set of circumstances with their son that I cannot imagine. I know they love him and have done their best for him. They’ve made mistakes, but none more egregious than I would have made in their shoes.

I say all of this because of the verse saying that Paul only boasts in your Cross. I should only boast in the fact that I live a redeemed life because you did what you did. Otherwise, I would wake up in the morning with nothing to live for except myself. But your cross teaches me to lay down my yoke and pick yours up. Your yoke includes me serving my wife, children, friends and neighbors more than myself. In fact, even in Rotary, our motto is “service above self.” Our sin nature drives us to be self-centered, and I have had times in my life when my service was really done with the ulterior motive of getting something in return. But your free gift is eternal life through Christ Jesus (Romans 6:23). That is my example.

Father, help me to be what my wife needs. Help me to be what my daughter needs. Help me to be what my son needs. Then I grow the circle from there. My family of origin and my in-laws. My neighbors, co-workers, and friends. My community, state, and country. My world. Help me to decrease and to only boast in your Cross that redeems me.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 26, 2017 in Galatians, My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day, Uncategorized

 

Galatians 6:14-16

25 Nov

As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died. It doesn’t matter whether we have been circumcised or not. What counts is whether we have been transformed into a new creation. May God’s peace and mercy be upon all who live by this principle; they are the new people of God.

Galatians 6:14-16

Dear God, I have friends who are younger and at a point in life when they are trying to establish themselves as professionals and impress others with what they are accomplishing. I have two friends who were talking recently and I heard one of them exaggerate his job to the other. What was interesting is that the other friend could see through the exaggeration and it made him think less of my first friend, not more, as my first fiend had hoped.

So this leads me to myself. How do I represent myself to others? Do I try to impress out of insecurity, or do I humbly share both my failures and successes so that others can be at ease around me? Does my life bring you glory, or does it bring me glory? At the end of the day, is someone else’s life better or worse because of the example they see in me?

Father, make me an instrument of your peace. Love others through me. Be glorified through me. Help me to decrease so you can increase. Help me to give my utmost for your highest.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 25, 2017 in Galatians, My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day

 
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