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She Used To Be Mine – Sara Bareilles

09 Feb

Jessie
“She Used To Be Mine” by Sara Bareilles

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl

She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew

Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ’til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine

She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

Dear God, it’s been almost 12 years since I first saw the movie Waitress.

Waitress Moviei Poster

As I recall, my wife and I were on a date day where I took a day off and we went to a movie. I don’t think I knew much about the movie before I went to see it, but it turned out to be much more sobering than I expected it to be. The surprising foundational topic is that, ultimately, it’s about domestic violence and a woman who is emotionally and physically abused by her husband and how she ultimately deals with it. I’m not sure I agree with the line in the poster above that it is “This Year’s Most Delicious Romantic Comedy.” It was a surprisingly charming movie given the weightiness of the topic, but I have never thought of it as a comedy.

Fast ten years, and my wife and I were able to see the Broadway musical version that Sara Bareilles wrote.

Waitress Musical Poster

I am a huge Sara Bareilles fan so I was instantly interested, but I was also curious to see how she would turn this movie into a musical. Frankly, there were parts of the musical I liked more than others, but the quintessential anthem of the program was this song, “She Used To Be Mine.”

But before I get into the song, I’m struck by a difference between the tag line on the musical poster vs. the movie poster: “It only takes a taste.” At first, you would think it is referencing the pies that the character makes. But there’s a lot of hidden meaning there. For the main character, Jenna, she has become so beaten down, afraid, and seemingly trapped that she has completely lost her sense of what life used to be, but a couple of things happen throughout the movie and musical to give her a taste of what she use to have and what life can be if she will set her face to the wind and escape.

That brings me to the lyrics. This song is heartrending. I want to look at it one stanza at a time:

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them

My wife taught me about poetry’s efficiency of language. One word or phrase can communicate more than thousands of words. That last line about the pie shop and its customers taking more than she intended to give communicates so much about how all of our lives can just slip away if we let them. I’ve been sitting here trying to put my understanding of this into words and I can’t articulate it. The poetry communicates beyond my linguistic ability.

It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl

I love how Ms. Bareilles uses the phrase, “I was never attention’s sweet center.” Lovely imagery there. But the singer is disappointed, hurt, angry…it’s hard to know which word to put with the idea that “it’s not easy to know I’m not anything like I used to be.” I just know we are getting this image of a woman who has been completely broken down and isn’t even starting over at zero. She is behind bars and trapped. In this case, she will ultimately have the ability to get out, but so many don’t.

She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy, but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she used to be mine

The thought that comes to me as I read this reminds me of my prayer yesterday about 1 John 3. We are all a paradox. Where there is freedom at coming to peace with ourselves is through the acceptance of this paradox, learning to see ourselves through your eyes thanks to the redemptive blood and resurrection of Jesus, and then pressing on further into you.

It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got you
And you’re not what I asked for
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew

This is the part of the song that starts to become story-specific. The combination of her life choices and the crimes committed against her have lead her to where she is. The “now I’ve got you” can refer to both the unwanted pregnancy she is carrying (the baby will only tie her down, keep her trapped in her marriage, and make it harder to leave) and to herself and the person she is that she doesn’t like. She wants to just go back and start over and use the wisdom she has now to make different choices earlier.

This part is probably the most powerful part of the song. I’ve known a lot of people who made choices in middle school and high school, or even college or later, that were foolish. Part of it was through damage that was done to them as they were growing up, but now they are on a path that seems irreversible.

Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ’til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine

The interesting thing about this story (both movie and musical) is how the pregnancy emboldens her and helps her to find her strength. The maternal instinct ignites her “to fight just a little” and “bring[s] back the fire in her eyes.”

I guess I’ll close with this thought. Underage sex trafficking has been hitting my radar a lot lately through different stories I’ve been reading. It’s a bigger problem than anyone realizes, with a study by the University of Texas published two years ago estimating that there are 79,000 underage victims actively being trafficked in Texas alone. I talked to a friend about this yesterday as I asked him about some ideas I have to address the issue in our community. I think of these young girls and boys being victimized. I think of them being trapped and sold. This song is for them too. This is an evil that must be stopped.

Father, I want to end this prayer by pleading for victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse, human trafficking, and all other forms of desperate slavery. Please move powerfully. Move through the church. Move through your people. Move through me. Show me what you want me to do and foil the plans of Satan and all those who promote this evil. Bring them into repentance and bring your healing to their victims as well as to them. This prayer feels inadequate, but you know my heart. Holy Spirit, please pray for this and help to make these prayers what they need to be.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 9, 2019 in Hymns and Songs, Musings and Stories

 

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Peter & John — 1 John 3:7-10

08 Feb

1 John 3:7-10 NIV
[7] Dear children, do not let anyone lead you astray. The one who does what is right is righteous, just as he is righteous. [8] The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. [9] No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. [10] This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.

Dear God, I must be misinterpreting what John meant in verses 9 and 10 because I see plenty of Christians continuing to sin, including me. Part of my story is that I kept getting frustrated by my sin as a child. I went to a Baptist Church at the time and from the ages of 9 to 17, I probably walked the aisle and got “saved” close to 30 times when you add up Fellowship of Christian Athletes conferences, church revivals, and just church services. I would hear the speaker talk about a transformed life, I would figure I must not have done it right the previous times and I would “give my life to Jesus” again.

Then I went to a conference that taught me how to be a disciple. Somehow, I figured out that this life on earth wasn’t about being sin-free. It was about the journey with you. It was about my mistakes and failures coupled with your love and redemption. It was about my growth and learning more and more about how you see the world as opposed to how I had seen the world up until then (and that process is ongoing). It was more about how you saw me and my life than how I saw me. My life became smaller and smaller in my own eyes, and I mean that in a good way. There is a great freedom in just being a piece of your plan and not needing to achieve through performance or sinlessness.

Father, I don’t mean to contradict John here because I do think being sinless is a goal. But it needs to be considered along with the realization that we are all on a continuum of growth and there is mercy from you for our failings. Maybe the difference between my first eight years of faith and the next 31 years is that after I was 17 I started to see how you see me in a new way and I came to have the same peace with myself over my sinful nature that you have with me through Jesus’ blood and redemption. Help me to live in that victory and peace even more today.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2019 in 1 John, Peter and John

 

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Peter & John — 1 John 3:1-6

07 Feb

1 John 3:1-6 NIV
[1] See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. [2] Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. [3] All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure. [4] Everyone who sins breaks the law; in fact, sin is lawlessness. [5] But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. [6] No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.

Dear God, going back to verse one, is it good that we would be so into you that people wouldn’t recognize who we are? Is there a line between pursuing you and being righteous and being so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good (I stole that last part from someone I can’t remember from my childhood).

I read Fred Smith’s weekly blog post this morning and it happened to kind of coincide with this. It basically addresses insecurity and how sometimes our temptation is to use what we can to make ourselves feel equal to or better than others. It might be the independence that personal wealth provides that will make us feel untouchable. It might be knowing deep down that our hearts are still wretched so we don’t extend the mercy to others that you extended to us. I think that last one is the danger to verse one.

Of course, there is also the hubris and inexperienced zeal of youth. I think of young Christians and how on fire they can be and how judgmental of other Christians they can be. For example, I visited my grandparents when I was a young, newly discipling Christian. I was just shy of 20 and visiting them for my spring break. They took me to their weekly Bible study. I judged every person in that room as being lazy in their faith and not doing anything to outwardly reach out to others. Their faith felt completely dry to me. As I remember, I think I actually challenged my grandmother (maybe both of them) later. And maybe they needed to be challenged. But I’m sure I did it poorly. The experience of life has taken off some of my edges and added tact. The question is, are my edges gone completely? Do I have any remaining edge to pursue holiness myself and encourage it in others?

Father, help me to live a life dedicated to pursuing you and then flow through me into others around me. Make me salty and give the the courage you need me to have. Fred’s blog mentions Joseph (Jacob’s son) and his brothers. Joseph was foolish in how he handled his dreams. What give me hope for my life is that you had already factored Joseph’s foolishness into your plan and used it to accomplish your will. I pray that you will do the same for me.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 7, 2019 in 1 John, Peter and John

 

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Peter & John — 1 John 2:12-14

06 Feb

1 John 2:12-14 (NLT)
12I am writing to you who are God’s children
because your sins have been forgiven through Jesus.
13I am writing to you who are mature in the faith
because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning.
I am writing to you who are young in the faith
because you have won your battle with the evil one.
14I have written to you who are God’s children
because you know the Father.
I have written to you who are mature in the faith
because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning.
I have written to you who are young in the faith
because you are strong.
God’s word lives in your hearts,
and you have won your battle with the evil one.

Dear God, it’s interesting that John cycles through “God’s children,” those who are “mature in faith,” and those who are “young in faith” twice. I guess I hadn’t really considered before that John doesn’t see any part of this letter as being for those who do not believe. That isn’t his audience.

When we become believers, there is still so much for us to learn. There is a learning curve that guides us in this process. We still don’t understand your nature and there is a lot of deprogramming that has to be done. We spent our lives learning an eye for an eye, but Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek. We grew up desiring justice for all, and we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven. We had society tell us to that we needed to achieve, and Jesus asked us to give all we have away.

I’ve been saved for 40 years this summer and a discipling Christian for almost 32 years, On a scale of 1-100, if I started at 1 I feel like I’ve maybe progressed to 30–maybe. There is still so much I have to learn about how to respond to your call, how to have faith in your provision, how to repent and sin no more, and how to extend forgiveness.

Father, progress is progress, I suppose. Thank you for taking me where I am. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for your love. Thank you for being willing to guide me as far as I am capable of being led.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 6, 2019 in 1 John, Peter and John, Uncategorized

 

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Peter & John — 1 John 2:3-11

05 Feb

1 John 2:3-11 NIV
[3] We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. [4] Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. [5] But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: [6] Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did. [7] Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. [8] Yet I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and in you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. [9] Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. [10] Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. [11] But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.

Dear God, I think I am going to focus on the words in verse five that say, “…love for God is truly made complete in them.” It feels like this is John’s thesis. This is what he wants for his readers.

So we are all going to sin. We’ve done it in the past, and we will do it in the future. I’m sorry, and I wish I weren’t, but I am a sinful person who still judges, lusts, covets, and lives in fear of others. I still seek affirmation from others and have been known to sell out in order to get that affirmation. I am truly sorry for these things. I am sorry for the moments when I take my eyes off of you. I am sorry for looking elsewhere for my satisfaction. I can say that your love has not yet been made complete in me.

That self-flagellation being said, I think I can say that I feel like I am better today that I was a year ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago and 30 years ago. How do I know? Verse six says, “Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” I am better at living as Jesus did than I used to be. I do judge, lust and covet less than I used to. I am bolder at allowing others to not praise me and not seeking their favor. I am better at pursuing you in prayer. So I am not living up to verse five yet, but on a scale of 1-10, I might be at about a 5 right now. But 4, 3, and 2 are just a moment away if I stake my eyes off of you. It’s a little like Peter walking on water with Jesus. He shot to a 10 and then sank (pun intended) back to a 4 in just one moment of taking his eyes off of Jesus.

Father, I want to start this day by looking at you, trusting you, and glorifying you by your reflection living through me. That starts in this moment. You are my God. I worship you. Thank you. Really, thank you for everything. I’m sorry for when I’ve failed.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 5, 2019 in 1 John, Peter and John, Uncategorized

 

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Peter & John — 1 John 1:5-2:2

04 Feb

1 John 1:5-2:2 NIV
[5] This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. [6] If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. [7] But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. [8] If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. [9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. [10] If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
[1] My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. [2] He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.

Dear God, I think John’s message here is simply, stop trying to portray yourself as perfect, be humble about your sin, accept grace, and do your best to walk in holiness (the light).

I would probably be remiss if I didn’t mention a song that was performed by dc Talk called “In The Light.” Here are the lyrics:

“In The Light”

I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from You
I am the king of excuses
I’ve got one for every selfish thing I do
What’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a Savior
I want to be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I want to shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light
The disease of self runs through my blood
It’s a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
Tell me, what’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a Savior
I want to be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I want to shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light
Honesty becomes me
[There’s nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[In Your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[And riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[Has been sentenced to this Earth]
Has been sentenced to this Earth
Tell me, what’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a Savior
I want to be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I want to shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light
I want to be in the Light
As You are in the Light
I want to shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, Lord be my Light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the Light
All I want is to be in the Light
Songwriters: John Paul Jones / Jimmy Page / Robert Plant

Father, I do want to be in the light. I want to be in your light. There are all kinds of Christian songs that mention being in your light. Help me to bring your light, or allow your light, into the darkest parts of my heart and live in your freedom, peace and joy. And help me to encourage others in this way too.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2019 in 1 John, Hymns and Songs, Peter and John

 

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Peter & John — 1 John 1:1-4

03 Feb

1 John 1:1-4 NIV
[1] That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. [2] The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. [3] We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. [4] We write this to make our joy complete.

Dear God, these first four verses seem like a hybrid between the first 15 verses of John’s gospel and 1 Peter. We get the part about Jesus being from the beginning, but we also get the part about John saying that he is an eye witness to this Jesus thing.

I guess this is John’s thesis. He starts his gospel and this first letter in the same way: “Jesus is God and I saw it firsthand. Everything else I have to say it true because this is true.“

It starts with saying that everyone has sin (that will be tomorrow’s prayer journal), but just saying that to some people can be hard for them to hear. I prayed “The Lord’s Prayer” twice this morning in church as part of the pre-service and then the service, and I wondered how many people really think about being forgiven by you at the same level at which we forgive others. I don’t know. Maybe I’m rambling now. And maybe I’m accidentally praying about tomorrow’s passage.

Father, at the end of the day, you sent Jesus as your essence and embodiment on earth. Your son. He was born of the Virgin Mary. Lived a remarkable, sinless life. He suffered under Pontius PIlate and the Jewish leadership at the time and was crucified. You resurrected him from the dead and he ascended into Heaven. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. His kingdom (your kingdom) will have no end. Thank you. Because all of that is true, I can sit here a forgiven man, free from my sin.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 3, 2019 in 1 John, Peter and John

 

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Hannah and Peninnah (and Elkanah) – 1 Samuel 1:1-8

02 Feb

[Photo from Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups By Ned Bustard. The artist is Erin Cross]

1 Samuel 1:1-8 NIV
[1] There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. [2] He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. [3] Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the Lord Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the Lord. [4] Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give portions of the meat to his wife Peninnah and to all her sons and daughters. [5] But to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her, and the Lord had closed her womb. [6] Because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb, her rival kept provoking her in order to irritate her. [7] This went on year after year. Whenever Hannah went up to the house of the Lord, her rival provoked her till she wept and would not eat. [8] Her husband Elkanah would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”

Dear God, the first time I journaled on this story, I remember journaling about Elkanah’s ignorance of how women feel and how important things like this are. His question, “Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” is absolutely foolish, but he really just didn’t know any better.

But the artist for this story is giving me something else. There is a focus on the meanness and vindictiveness of Peninnah that I’ve never spent much time with. And it’s interesting that I just used the word “vindictiveness.” Why did I use that word? Why does that word fit this story?

It is easy to make Peninnah the villain in this story, but in a lot of ways, as I sit here and think about it, she was really set up for failure. Was her attitude towards Hannah really that different than Sarah’s towards Hagar? Or probably Hagar towards Sarah for that matter. Marriage to multiple wives must have created some terrible dynamics. In this case:

  • Elkanah felt bad for Hannah so he gave her extra portions. Hannah was also probably more available to him because she didn’t have any kids impeding her life, so that might have helped her to be a favorite to Elkanah as well. Then there is Elkanah’s obvious need to be appreciated, as is evidenced by his last question.
  • Peninnah had the children, but she didn’t have Elkanah’s favor. And he apparently made that clear. The artist shows this with Peninnah holding the children while Elkanah holds a despondent Hannah.
  • Then there is Hannah. In a time when worth for women was measured by an ability to have children, she had no worth in society’s eyes (but she still had at least one thing in Peninnah’s eyes that Peninnah didn’t have), and Peninnah used Hannah’s weakness to get a little revenge for the pain she felt. Elkanah could not be everything Hannah needed.
  • In my own life, I see rivalries among coworkers, children, siblings…in fact, they are all around me. We all look for some sort of validation that affirms our place in the world, but rarely do we just look to you for that.
  • I used to think I could be everything my wife needed and I thought that she could be everything that I needed. I entered marriage in a very needy way, and it was oppressive to my wife. She could never meet all of my insecure needs. Then I started to figure out (I’m still learning) how to tap into you and derive my peace and joy from you. What would it have looked like if Peninnah and Hannah had been able to do the same? How much better will I be when I have completely learned to dive into you?
  • Father, help me to be sensitive to the motivations of others. When I see someone acting like Peninnah, help be to see the reason for their vindictiveness and not just assume they are evil and mean. Show me how I might take that knowledge and use it to be your minister to them and heal the hurts that are down deep. And help me to also examine my own heart when I find myself wanting to lash out. Show me the hurt that needs addressed and then help me to take that hurt, give it to you for your complete healing, and then strike back in love.
  • In Jesus’ name I pray,
  • Amen
    •  
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    Posted by on February 2, 2019 in 1 Samuel, Revealed: A Storybook Bible for Grown-Ups

     

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    Peter & John — 2 Peter 3:11-18

    01 Feb

    2 Peter 3:11-18 NIV
    [11] Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives [12] as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. [13] But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells. [14] So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. [15] Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. [16] He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. [17] Therefore, dear friends, since you have been forewarned, be on your guard so that you may not be carried away by the error of the lawless and fall from your secure position. [18] But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

    Dear God, the reference to Paul here caught me off guard. I had forgotten that was there. I wonder what Peter and Paul thought of each other. I get the feeling that Paul was a little more cerebral than Peter was, and that kind of comes through in Peter’s comment in verse 16: “His letters contain some things which are hard to understand.” I wonder if Peter on one level appreciated Pauls depth and insights, and on the other hand thought he might overthink things a little.

    As for the thesis of this chapter, it seems to be to be careful of false teachers and keep yourself pure. It reminds me of something I heard the Christian singer, Rich Mullins, say back in the 90s: “The world’s going to go the way the world’s going to go. So keep yourself pure and love everyone you can.”

    Last weekend, I was praying through something and the word I got from you was that the answer was love, love, love, and love. This situation is tricky and it would be easy to get in my trench and just try to both defend myself and shell the other side. But what if, instead, I just showed love that is selfless and ultimately blameless? Isn’t that part of what you are calling me to do? Isn’t that basically what Peter is saying here?

    Father, help me to worship you well and to let that flow through me. I visited with a friend yesterday who is struggling. I kind of presented your Gospel to her, but I felt very inadequate to do it. I don’t know if I was effective or not. But please use what I said for your glory in her life. Please give her the freedom, the peace, the hope, and the joy that you have for her through repentance and relationship. Show me the role I have to play in her life, and raise up a good woman who can also be your person for her.

    In Jesus’ name I pray,

    Amen

     
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    Posted by on February 1, 2019 in 2 Peter, Peter and John

     

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    Peter & John — 2 Peter 3:1-13

    31 Jan

    2 Peter 3:1-13 NIV
    [1] Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. [2] I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles. [3] Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. [4] They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” [5] But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. [6] By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. [7] By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly. [8] But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. [9] The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. [10] But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare. [11] Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives [12] as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. [13] But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

    Dear God, I was thinking recently about the accumulation of wealth and striving for retirement. In fact, a friend and I were talking yesterday about when enough will be enough. He is wanting to go into nonprofit work, but feels like he has to first get his kids all of the way through college and then have his retirement planned before he can do that. He was looking at being a minimum of 15 years away from that.

    As for me, when I first took the job I currently have at a nonprofit I was in my mid-30s and in no way expected it to be my last job. I figured I would get my daughter (she was six at the time) through high school so she wouldn’t have to move and then move on. Well, my daughter stopped going to school in our town almost five years ago and here I am still at this job. I told the friend yesterday that a few years ago I actually started to get my head into a space where this could actually be my last job. I’ve been there 13 years now. I know that if you are willing I have at least 20 more years of being able to work productively. Will I really look back and say that I worked for this nonprofit for over 30 years?

    The questions that start to come to me out of this thought are interesting. The first is, how am I going to start accumulating more for retirement? Nonprofits, by nature, don’t pay at a level that will allow me to stick a lot away into an IRA. Should I take a second job driving for wine tours on weekends to prepare for that day?

    Then there is achievement. When I was fresh out of college I had dreams of doing great things. “Great” was undefined, but I am pretty sure working for a nonprofit in a rural community wouldn’t have registered in my top 10 at the time.

    Spiritually, I had a dream to influence hundreds or thousands of people (or tens of thousands or millions) towards believing in and pursuing you. My first job out of college was working for a Christian music publisher. At that point, I thought I would end up in Nashville and eventually run the label and distribution company. I remember privately working on projects that would build Bible studies out of musical albums. Even some of the writing I have done over the years might have caught on and influenced a lot of people. But that hasn’t really happened.

    Father, I leave all of that hubris and ego at the foot of your cross. I leave the fear of scarcity and the lethargy of desiring retirement and comfort at the foot of your cross. I leave the preoccupation of my future (which is completely unknown to all but you) at the foot of the cross. All I have is today as I await your return. I have the work you have put in front of me to do today. That includes how you want me to love my family, reach out to others, and then do the paid and unpaid tasks that you have put in front of me to do. Help me to do it all with your peace, your strength, and for your glory and not mine.

    In Jesus’ name I pray,

    Amen

     
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    Posted by on January 31, 2019 in 2 Peter, Peter and John

     

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