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Resuscitation vs. Resurrection – Skye Jethani

21 Aug

Dear God, I was spending time with a pastor friend of mine recently, and he told me he recently asked his congregation for sermon topics, and one that came back was, “Do we have to be born again?” Interesting question. Some pastors might respond, “Of course! John 3. Jesus and Nicodemus!” Others would say, “That term has some baggage that we now need to get away from. Let’s talk about it in a different way.” I have a feeling the person who sent in the question is likely in the latter camp. They might see people preaching “born again” as fire and brimstone preachers trying to scare people into heaven by selling them fire insurance.

I thought it was probably a topic that was going to fester with me, but then I heard this extraordinary talk by Skye Jethani of the Holy Post (behind a pay wall, but you can get a one-time free listen). He talked about the difference between “Jesus, save me” and “Jesus, transform me.” He told the story of how the writer of the hymn “Amazing Grace” was saved from a storm at sea early in his life after he shouted into the wind, “God, have mercy on us,” or something like that, but that wasn’t transformation. It was just resuscitation. His life was just prolonged. That boat was a slave trading boat, and he went on capturing humans and selling them to others. It wasn’t until later in his life that he considered himself to have been transformed by you. Skye made the point that Newton’s life only got better after the saving on the boat. He eventually became a captain. But after the transformation and he repented of slave trading and started working to abolish it, his life actually got harder. But that’s when he wrote the words, “I was blind, but now I see.” It wasn’t after being saved in the storm. It was after he was resurrected and born again, a la 1 Corinthians 5:17: “If anyone is born in Christ he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come.”

The first question is, “Am I born again?” Not, “Am I resuscitated?” Am I changed and am I continuing to be changed in Jesus? I think I am, but there is a lot of chane that still needs to happen.

The next question is, “While I am on my journey, am I selling change to my friends and those I know? Am I selling born again, or am I just selling resuscitation?”

The person asking the original question was probably relating it to getting into heaven. They were probably similar to the rich young ruler who was asking Jesus, “What must I do to be saved?”

Father, I love you. Thank you for giving me not just a prolonged life, but a new life. I am different now than before I started growing in you. I am grateful. I love you. Help me to keep growing. To press on (Philippians 3:14).

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 21, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Acts 18:24-28 (Apollos)

20 Aug

24 Meanwhile, a Jew named Apollos, an eloquent speaker who knew the Scriptures well, had arrived in Ephesus from Alexandria in Egypt. 25 He had been taught the way of the Lord, and he taught others about Jesus with an enthusiastic spirit and with accuracy. However, he knew only about John’s baptism. 26 When Priscilla and Aquila heard him preaching boldly in the synagogue, they took him aside and explained the way of God even more accurately.

27 Apollos had been thinking about going to Achaia, and the brothers and sisters in Ephesus encouraged him to go. They wrote to the believers in Achaia, asking them to welcome him. When he arrived there, he proved to be of great benefit to those who, by God’s grace, had believed. 28 He refuted the Jews with powerful arguments in public debate. Using the Scriptures, he explained to them that Jesus was the Messiah.

Acts 18:24-28

Dear God, I don’t think I’ve appreciated Apollos at all. As I read this story, I would love to know the difference between what he knew before verse 26 and what he knew after. What was the difference? Was it the Holy Spirit? Did he only understand repentance and that Jesus was the Messiah, but did they tell him about Jesus’s actual radical teaching: love your enemies, if you think it you’ve done it, etc.

I can be eloquent when I speak. And I like to teach. But am I like Apollos or am I more like Priscilla and Aquila? How much more education do I need? The answer is, “A lot,” I’m sure.

And then there is this lovely couple, Priscilla and Aquila. The investment they made in Apollos rippled through the rest of the New Testament. Paul references Apollos in 1 Corinthians 3, 4, and 16 as well as in Titus 3–all very positive. In a body with many parts, they played a small part, but it was crucial.

Father, someone asked me to pray with them recently about “how big they were supposed to be.” Someone was calling them to be more than they currently are in a ministry, but she wasn’t sure if that was right. I don’t know what is right for them either. But just like you know exactly how big an oak tree is supposed to be when it is still an acorn, you know who this woman is and what her role is in your world. Show that to her. Reveal it to her. Douse any feelings of shame or inadequacy she might be having. I know they are not of you. Please help her to find just her next step.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2026 in Acts

 

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“Which translation do you use?”

19 Aug

Dear God, I was listening to the Holy Post podcast this morning, and one of the things they mentioned is a common question they get is around people asking them which biblical commentary is the one they can trust. Or they’ll get asked, “Which translation do you use?” Their take was that people are looking for someone they can trust to just tell them the truth. They want certainty in their beliefs.

It reminds me of the pastor in 2020 who, after having just barely survived Covid, said in an interview that he decided through the experience that we’ve made an idol out of certainty. You are the only thing that is the same yesterday, today, and forever, but we will try to put our certainty in our spouse, children, health, economy, bank account, government, etc. I would add our theology to that as well. We want to be right about everything. That’s why we leave churches when someone disagrees with us. That’s why we try to shame others for their sin while we ignore our own. We have a need to be right.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked a friend that if we were to stand before you after we die and we asked you what percentage of our theology was correct while we were here on earth, what percentage do we think you’d come back with. Frankly, my answer was that I’d be really pleased if you told me I had 20% of it correct, meaning I would not understand, be partially wrong, or completely wrong about 80% of it. The problem is, I just don’t know which 80% is wrong and which 20% is right (assuming I’m as high as 20%).

Father, at the end of the day, I know you are there. I am all in on the Jesus virgin birth, life, death, resurrection, and assumption narrative. I’m all in on his being part of you–begotten, not made. I’m all in on the Holy Spirit. Basically, I’m all in on the Nicene Creed. Everything else is a little squishy for me. Even the specific lines that will help me be “saved.” So my choice is to live today. I am going to worship you. I am going to love others. I’m going to work hard. And I’m going to share my life vulnerably so that others might feel a touch of you through me, and so I might feel a touch of you through them. To you be the glory.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Philippians 1:20-24

18 Aug

20 For I fully expect and hope that I will never be ashamed, but that I will continue to be bold for Christ, as I have been in the past. And I trust that my life will bring honor to Christ, whether I live or die. 21 For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. 22 But if I live, I can do more fruitful work for Christ. So I really don’t know which is better. 23 I’m torn between two desires: I long to go and be with Christ, which would be far better for me. 24 But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.

Philippians 1:20-24

Dear God, this would be a tough read at a funeral, but perhaps it should be read more. Perhaps, while I would hope it would encourage everyone to wait for natural death and not do anything proactively to bring death, it would be better to plant seeds at funerals in our minds that we shouldn’t be so afraid of death. That we don’t need to do everything we can to live.

When I used to fly a lot 25 years ago for a job I had, I would get a little nervous at takeoff. I would look around at the people as I boarded the plane and think, “These might be the people I die with.” Then, as we would barrel down the runway, I would think, “If this is it, am I ready?” It was weird stuff to be thinking–I think. I don’t know. Maybe others have similar thoughts. But I just imagined closing my eyes for the last time. It was scary.

In my current job, I process a lot of donations that are made in memory of others. I am made aware of multiple people every week who die. It occurred to me several years ago that it really does happen to all of us. None of us get out of this particular life alive. Yes, we might be with you in eternity, but my earthly body’s functions will stop at some point. The whole system will give out, and I’ll be done. I can accept that. If I were to feel a sudden seizing in my heart right now and everything went black, as I died, I think my last thoughts would be of my wife and her care and provision. I think things are set where she will be okay materially. But as far as personal regrets, other than some broken relationships that have yet to mend, I don’t have anything I wish I’d done. No unaccomplished bucket list.

Father, I have a job to do today. I’m going to go to work early to do it. Lots of moving parts. But I don’t wnt to be distracted from living for you. I don’t want to be distracted from being your servant and loving others how you would have me love them. I will give you myself today as best as I can. Use it for your kingdom.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 18, 2026 in Philippians

 

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2 Corinthians 10

17 Aug

10 Now I, Paul, appeal to you with the gentleness and kindness of Christ—though I realize you think I am timid in person and bold only when I write from far away. 2 Well, I am begging you now so that when I come I won’t have to be bold with those who think we act from human motives.

3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4 We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 6 And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient.

7 Look at the obvious facts. Those who say they belong to Christ must recognize that we belong to Christ as much as they do. 8 I may seem to be boasting too much about the authority given to us by the Lord. But our authority builds you up; it doesn’t tear you down. So I will not be ashamed of using my authority.

9 I’m not trying to frighten you by my letters. 10 For some say, “Paul’s letters are demanding and forceful, but in person he is weak, and his speeches are worthless!” 11 Those people should realize that our actions when we arrive in person will be as forceful as what we say in our letters from far away.

12 Oh, don’t worry; we wouldn’t dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!

13 We will not boast about things done outside our area of authority. We will boast only about what has happened within the boundaries of the work God has given us, which includes our working with you. 14 We are not reaching beyond these boundaries when we claim authority over you, as if we had never visited you. For we were the first to travel all the way to Corinth with the Good News of Christ.

15 Nor do we boast and claim credit for the work someone else has done. Instead, we hope that your faith will grow so that the boundaries of our work among you will be extended. 16 Then we will be able to go and preach the Good News in other places far beyond you, where no one else is working. Then there will be no question of our boasting about work done in someone else’s territory. 17 As the Scriptures say, “If you want to boast, boast only about the Lord.”

18 When people commend themselves, it doesn’t count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them.

2 Corinthians 10

Dear God, I don’t spend too much time just reading Paul’s letters. I wonder why that is. Maybe it’s because he can seem a bit long-winded and, simultaneously, difficult to understand. Today’s passage started with the verses of the Day from Bible Gateway, which were the last two (verses 17 and 18). But I couldn’t get the context of them without going to the beginning of the chapter.

So this chapter of 2 Corinthians is about Paul’s reputation with the people of this church. What caught my attention this morning was something subtle. It was verse 14: 14 We are not reaching beyond these boundaries when we claim authority over you, as if we had never visited you. For we were the first to travel all the way to Corinth with the Good News of Christ. It made me think of what Paul’s first trip must have been like and how much joy there must have been among everyone. The honeymoon period, if you will. They had found life in you through what Paul shared with them. But then the uneven growth pains started getting in the way.

Going back to the “Parable of the Sower,” none of the people Paul is talking to had hearts that were represented by the path. The seed stuck to some extent. But some had hearts that were stony. They heard, accepted, got excited, but never built their root system. It takes work to crush stone into soil, and they didn’t do the work. As soon as things turned hard, they fell away.

Then there was the group that had thorny and weedy hearts. They were still distracted by the cares of the world. They were still pursuing wealth. I think this one is the problem of the modern American church. It feels like we don’t do much to weed our hearts. We also don’t do much to find the stony parts of our hearts and either remove those stones or crush them into soil.

So then Paul and his people here in Corinth had their lives and feelings towards each other and you change over time. Paul continued his own journey of weeding his heart and crushing the stone, but the Corinthians struggled to do so. It reminds me of Jesus saying in Matthew 7 at the end of the “Sermon on the Mount” that the way is narrow and hard and few will find it. I think I’ve found it. Will I continue down it as Paul did, or will I get lazy, stop crushing stone, and let the weeds grow?

Father, the journey here on this earth, while a vapor in biblical and eternity terms, is seemingly long while we are here. At the same time, as I get older, it seems to move faster and faster. But I want to “press on” (Philippians 3:14). I want to “run to finish” (Hebrews 12:1). I want to consider my life worth nothing to me, but complete the work you’ve given me (Acts 20:24). Give me the strength. Give me the serenity. Give me the courage. Give me this wisdom. And, going back to 2 Corinthians 10, help me to deny any glory for myself and reflect it all to you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 17, 2026 in 2 Corinthians

 

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Matthew 15:21-28

16 Aug

21 Jesus went away from there, and withdrew into the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22 And a Canaanite woman from that region came out and began to cry out, saying, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed.” 23 But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came and implored Him, saying, “Send her away, because she keeps shouting at us.” 24 But He answered and said, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25 But she came and began to bow down before Him, saying, “Lord, help me!” 26 And He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” 27 But she said, “Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.” 28 Then Jesus said to her, “O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed at once.

Matthew 15:21-28

Dear God, this was the New Testament reading in church today. The first thing I noticed that I don’t think I have before is that the woman was a Canaanite. It made me think back to Genesis 9:25 when Noah cursed Ham’s youngest son Canaan because of what Ham did to him when he was passed out drunk:

25 So he said, “Cursed be Canaan;
A servant of servants
He shall be to his brothers.”

It was a few years ago that I noticed how weird it was that Noah took his anger out on Ham by attacking his youngest son with a curse. So not, here we are, thousands and thousands of years later. Is this woman truly a descendant of Canaan or is that just what Jewish people called Gentiles? This is from the New American Standard (1995). The New Living Translation just calls her a Gentile. Maybe that’s why I haven’t noticed it before. Because of all of the kingdoms that had come and gone over the millennia since Noah, I’m assuming there was not real blood line back to Canaan for this woman. I looked it up and I could not really find a definitive answer, so I’m just going to go with the idea that she was not just a Gentile but a racially profiled despised Gentile.

What was Jesus doing here. Was he testing her only or was there any part of him learning in this process? That sounds like heresy to even ask that question. Like I might get struck down. Of course, the teaching would be that he was just testing her faith. As if to say, “Don’t just come here to use me for your daughter. I’m not just a miracle man. I’m someone you need to worship.” And that’s what I’m going with.

Interruption: I just looked it up a little further. In Mark 7, we get the same story. She’s described as a Syrophoenician, a woman from the Syrian coastal region of the Roman Empire (in this case, in Tyre). So she was definitely looked down upon and there was definite prejudice against her. Of course, Jesus wouldn’t have prejudice, but he would want to make sure her heart was pure. He would also want all of the prejudiced people around her to see her heart.

All of this is to say that I work with and am friends with people who are racially profiled every day, and it breaks my heart. I wish I knew what to do. Would that I could shield them with my big, tall, male whiteness! If only I could have them stand behind me all the time and shield them from the racism they experience. I have Hispanic friends who are citizens who experience bigotry on an almost daily basis. We have clients at are clinic who do not feel safe in their own homes, vehicles, or anywhere in the community. What am I to do?

Father, I’m really asking the question. What am I to do? Help me know what to do. Help me know what to do if I encounter racism, cruelty, and injustice directly. Help me to know how to address it abstractly and through advocacy. Help me to use prayer, service, persuasion, and suffering to move this needle on behalf of my friends and neighbors. Grant me the serenity, the courage, and the wisdom.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 16, 2026 in Matthew

 

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Romans 14:1-9

15 Aug

14 Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. 2 For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. 3 Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval.

5 In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. 6 Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. 7 For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. 8 If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead.

Romans 14:1-9

Dear God, I don’t think I’ve heard enough sermons on verse 1. I was talking with someone the other day who is part of a mens group. There’s a new member of the group who has been really hurt by Christianity in the past because he is gay and he has experienced a lot of rejection. The man I was talking to really likes the other man but strongly disagrees with someone practicing any LGBTQ activities (that’s an awkward sentence to write). He was talking to me and another friend because he was concerned about what he might say to the new guy if the topic ever comes up. The other guy and I didn’t use Romans 14:1, but maybe we should have.

So where is the limit on Romans 14:1? Obviously, there are limits. We can just turn the other way at murder. We can’t ignore theft. But beyond the two of the 10 Commandments that we legislate against, do we just openly discuss our differences in a loving way and agree to disagree, allowing the Holy Spirit to work on each of our hearts individually? I think maybe so.

I find it interesting in campaign season that I’ve heard a new slant on the acronymn RINO (Republican in Name Only). It’s PINO (Pastor in Name Only). It refers to people who claim they are Christian, but they aren’t deemed really Christian because their political/socialogical beliefs aren’t in line with the more conservative positions. Does Romans 14:1 apply to this too? Should anyone claiming someone else is a PINO repent for their judgment and for taking your place as the one whose job it is to convict?

Father, I don’t want to just excuse sin and turn the other way. I also don’t want to do anything that gets in the way of someone becoming your disciple and working their own faith out with fear and trembling. Help me to do this wall. Help me to be wise. Help me to love.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2026 in Romans

 

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Ezekiel 16:1-15

14 Aug

16 Then another message came to me from the Lord: 2 “Son of man, confront Jerusalem with her detestable sins. 3 Give her this message from the Sovereign Lord: You are nothing but a Canaanite! Your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. 4 On the day you were born, no one cared about you. Your umbilical cord was not cut, and you were never washed, rubbed with salt, and wrapped in cloth. 5 No one had the slightest interest in you; no one pitied you or cared for you. On the day you were born, you were unwanted, dumped in a field and left to die.

6 “But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, ‘Live!’ 7 And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked. 8 And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.

9 “Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. 10 I gave you expensive clothing of fine linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine goatskin leather. 11 I gave you lovely jewelry, bracelets, beautiful necklaces, 12 a ring for your nose, earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for your head. 13 And so you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were made of fine linen and costly fabric and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods—choice flour, honey, and olive oil—and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were! 14 Your fame soon spread throughout the world because of your beauty. I dressed you in my splendor and perfected your beauty, says the Sovereign Lord.

15 “But you thought your fame and beauty were your own. So you gave yourself as a prostitute to every man who came along. Your beauty was theirs for the asking.

Ezekiel 16:1-15

Dear God, we are all so small and weak. That you look on us at all is…well, gracious. Your grace is amazing. The should write songs about it (sarcasm implied).

Verse 15 is where I want to focus today. I’m heading into a boar retreat tomorrow. The nonprofit where I work has a lot going for it. We are in the middle of an expansion that is fully funded (thanks to you). We have enough resources to do the work we need to do (thanks to you). That includes not only financial resources, but also staff. It’s not easy to find a doctor, dentist, hygienist, bilingual therapist, nurses, etc. in a rural community, and yet here we are with all of these things. Thanks to you.

I was talking with the consultant who will work with us tomorrow, and telling her about our current status. I was proud of it. And I’ll admit that my temptation is to want to take credit for it, pat myself on the back and, to put it in terms of verse 15, think my beauty is my own. Will my vanity and ego cause me to leave you?

Father, I acknowledge that everything I have, both personally and profressionally, is from you. Right now, I feel very impotent when it comes to how to respond to the pain I see in people’s lives around me. I see immigrants, even legal ones, who are afraid and feel persecuted. Help me to know how to help. Give me ears to hear and eyes to see. I give you glory. Help me to point our board of directors towards you tomorrow morning. All glory be yours, Father, forever and ever.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2026 in Ezekiel

 

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Ephesians 2:8-10

13 Aug

8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:8-10

Dear God, the verse of the day from Bible Gateway was verse 10, but I felt like I needed to at least pull in verses 8 and 9 for context. I like the first part of verse 9: Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done…” But I thought I was performing for you! (Sarcasm implied)

Isn’t it interesting that we can get so focused on works that we will lose simply worshipping you and loving others. I’m not here writing this prayer this morning to please you. I’m here doing it because I know I need this time with you. I need to connect with the God of the universe who loves me. I get to sit here with the Holy Spirit that Jesus sent after his ascension and commune with the Triune God. I’m not learning tricks so I can impress you. I’m not like a little kid who says, “Daddy, look at me do this!” You’re already looking at me. I’m a little kid who is just crawling up in your lap to be with you. I’ll do stuff today. I’ll even do some good stuff. I hope I’m going to do stuff that will please you. But I won’t be doing it to earn your love. I’ll be doing it because you teach me to do it. Jesus teaches me to do it. The Holy Spirit teaches me to do it.

Father, help me to share this joy of your presence with others. Verse 8: you saved me by your grace. Grace was it. And that grace is an amazing feeling. It’s freedom. Help me to exemplify it through my life so that others might know you and experience it as well. And help me to know how to address the injustices around me. I feel completely impotent when I look at the pain happening in our community, state, country, and world. Give me not just the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, but also the courage to change the things I can change. Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, give me the wisdom to know the difference.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2026 in Ephesians

 

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My Best Friend’s Anniversary

12 Aug

Dear God, I want to just talk a little with you today about what happened 31 years ago. My best friend from high school got married, and I was grateful to be selected as his best man. My wife and I had been married three years at that point, and we flew from our home in Dallas to Houston for the wedding. During the rehearsal dinner, my wife started having abdominal pain. I took her back to our hotel room after the dinner and then went out with the groom and some of his college friends and hung out until about 2:00 in the morning. When I got back to the room, my wife was still in a lot of pain, so I took her to a local Emergency Room. I can’t remember if it was while we were waiting to be taken back (which took a couple of hours) or while we were waiting for a room where she could be admitted (which took even more hours), at some point she told me that before we left Dallas she felt like you had told her, “Your pregnant. It’s a girl. It’s not going to work out.” As it turned out, she had an ectopic pregnancy and we were afraid she would have to lose one of her fallopian tubes. Of course, that would impact our ability to have children in the future. Our doctor was Iranian and it was difficult to understand him through his accent (and he didn’t have the warmest personality). My mother-in-law’s GYN consulted with us by phone and helped us in our decision making. My mother-in-law came from Austin. My parents were already in Houston for the wedding. Thankfully, later that night my mother was with my wife when she passed the pregnancy on her own. I left for a few hours during that Saturday to be part of the wedding, but I didn’t stick around for the reception. I just went back to the hospital as soon as I could.

I have a distinct memory of being on my knees at her bedside and praying to you. I was praying that I trusted you. My heart was broken. I was crying. But I told you that I believed and trusted in you so much that even if I was wrong and the path of following you led to hell then I would follow you to hell. The did surgery on her two days later to make sure everything was okay. She was able to not have anything removed, and we would end up getting pregnant with our son just two months later. One of the hardest parts was getting my wife home. I had to drive her to the airport with only a big t-shirt on and a stuffed dog I bought her at a local Toys R Us sitting in her lap. Every imperfection in the road hurt. I wheeled her through the airport, we boarded our Southwest flight, got back to Love Field in Dallas and then drove back to our third-floor apartment. It was quite the thing for a 24- (her) and 25-year old (me) to go through.

We named our unborn girl Sandra, and every year I remember August 12 as her “birthday,” or the day my wife passed her pregnancy on her own. I also remember my friends anniversary that same day. I always know how long they’ve been married too.

Father, I don’t know where Sandra is right now. I like to imagine her looking down on the parents who never met her, but whom she loves and cares about. As she looks at her two siblings, one of whom would not have been born if her pregnancy had made it, I like to think of her praying for them. That she loves them even though I don’t think they regard her existence as very real. But I do. I think she prays for my wife and me too. Especially our struggles and sorrows. I told my wife that I hope she’s proud of us as she watches to move through life. I hope she’s enjoying the love she feels from my wife’s parents who have already passed from this world into the next. From my grandparents. She’s part of our family. Our legacy. And I’ll get to meet her one day. One day, I will understand so much more than I understand now. Oh, what a joy that will be. So happy anniversary, 31st Johnny and Karen. Happy 31st birthday, Sandra. All of you have my love. Father, please bless Johnny and Karen with your presence in their lives and enjoy the worship and presence of my daughter.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 12, 2026 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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