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Acts 20:24

27 May

But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. – Acts 20:24

Dear God, you know I have a long history with this verse that goes back 34 years. It was one of the first verses I chose to memorize without someone like a Sunday school teacher or youth minister asking me to memorize it. But did I understand it then? Do I understand it now?

I came to see it differently a couple of years ago when I was studying Job. I used to think this verse was about being willing to be reckless for you. After all, that’s what Paul was doing. He was intentionally risking his life. Is that what I should do? Then realized after studying Job that that was partially true, but there was more. Job went through unbelievable trials to ultimately get to a point where he realized that nothing in the world or about his life was about being for his personal luxury. It was about whatever path you had fir him so that your will might be done in the world and in the lives of others–even an example for me thousands of years later. After studying Job, I realized that of all of the biblical characters, Paul seems to have gotten to that place of submission easier and faster than others. He sat in jail without complaint. He submitted to a path that, even though it meant his suffering and ultimate execution, lead to Christianity spreading to the West. And all of that spirit and knowledge is captured by what Luke recorded Paul as saying here.

Father, I have a financially comfortable life, and I sometimes feel guilty about that. But there are certainly other things that I don’t like about my life that you are using–at least that I pray you are using–to bring your kingdom and will into the world. So help me to really—ooo, this is a dangerous thing to pray–help me to really live into this concept. Help me to consider my life worth nothing to me. Help me to complete the task and finish the race you have asked me to run.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 27, 2021 in Acts, Uncategorized

 

John 3:17

26 May

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.
John 3:17

Dear God, my high school pastor loved this verse. He used to have a passage for us to recite at the end of each church service. One year, he had us do John 3:16-17. He made sure we didn’t forget this part. If his goal was to get us to memorize scripture it worked because I’m sitting here 35 years later and I can still hear the words ringing in my ears.

One thing about this pastor is that he really focused on Your love and grace. In fact, as I grew older and went back to listen to some of his sermons on cassette while I was in college, I realized his sermons were almost always on grace and there wasn’t much on discipleship. Going further down the road, as it turned out, he was a bit tormented by some guilt/shame in his own life. Putting it all together, I’ve wondered how much of his sermons and methods were an effort to emotionally reconcile himself to you, not quite grasping just how deep your love for him was.

Father, your desire is to love us all. As a father myself, my desire for my children is good things. Knowing how I feel about them informs, at least a little, of how I view your love for me. So help me on my journey of working out my faith and reconciling what my head believes and my heart feels. Help me to love my children the way you love me. And help me to carry your love and presence into the world.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 26, 2021 in John, Uncategorized

 

James 1:19-20

25 May

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
James 1:19-20

Dear God, yes, quick to listen. I’m such a lousy listener. My wife is much, much better at it than I am. And some of my biggest mistakes have come from getting angry fast and communicating it. I can be a mess.

There is an issue at hand right now that is testing how much I believe this passage, and my willingness to learn from it. What are you doing in the lives of everyone involved? Where are they coming from? I have my assumptions, but I’ll bet I would be surprised to see the world from their perspective. I think I know their perspectives, but I really don’t.

Father, I submit to you. I submit to this passage and James’s wisdom from 2,000 years ago. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for loving and guiding me. Thank you for using me however you will in this world as your ambassador.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 25, 2021 in James

 

Romans 12:9-10

24 May

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
Romans 12:9-10

Dear God, I like the last part here where Paul encourages us to take delight in honoring each other. It can feel so good to pump someone else up. Why is that? What did you plant into our nature that makes it feel good to 1.) work, 2.) give, and 3.) love selflessly?

Here’s an epiphany I just had as I wrote that question. You gave us your nature and these are things that you do. These things are in your nature. You work hard. You give good gifts to your children. And you love us and delight in watching us grow and develop into better people. How interesting that the things that bring us joy in our existence are the same things that bring you joy in your existence. Hmmm.

Father, as I go through this day, help me to work hard, give sacrificially, and love genuinely. Help me to turn loose of self-pity, anger, pettiness, lethargy, and selfishness. When there is conflict to be addressed, help me to do it in love. Help me to do it with the other person in mind. For your glory, oh, Lord. So that you may increase, I may decrease, and my joy and peace in you can be complete.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2021 in Romans

 

17 Reasons People Never Want to Have Children

23 May

Dear God, I was just scanning headlines this morning when I came across this article from Buzzfeed. Let me just list the 17 reasons really quickly:

  • I have never seen a person with children and thought to myself, ‘I want that life.’
  • I’m too mentally ill from childhood trauma and have various autoimmune diseases It wouldn’t be fair to have a child when I’m not completely present for them. I love kids, but not for me.
  • Once I’m a mom, I can never not be a mom. I like deciding what I can do whenever I want to without having to care for a child. I feel like a partner is already ‘compromise’ (for lack of a better word) of free time.
  • I understand the immense responsibility and sacrifice they are, and choose instead to work on myself and continue to nurture my own experiences and growth through the one life I have.
  • Pregnancy is terrifying to me. I never want to try it.
  • I’ve just never had that desire. I always thought it would ‘kick in’ as I got older, but no. It’s been kinda hard to come to terms with it in regards to society’s standards and expectations.
  • I don’t want to go through birth and don’t like the baby stage. Children and toddlers are fun and can be adorable, but not 24/7. I like money and the peace of mind that I won’t do anything to screw up their lives, and finally, I’m not responsible or mature enough.
  • I love my life too much. I hate mess and noise, I love traveling whenever I like, I love going for trips and meals out with my husband, and I love being able to do what I want whenever I want. I don’t want to spend my days listening to crying, arguing, whining, doing the school run in the rain, and shopping for food. The planet has plenty of humans and we have done a great job of wrecking the planet and treating animals so cruelly, I don’t want to add to that problem.
  • In my opinion, I should justify why I want kids instead of finding reasons why I don’t want them. In my case, I don’t have a reason to want them.
  • On the relationships front, I remember seeing a statistic that more marriages with kids end in divorce than marriages without kids — having kids wrecks marriages. Other studies have found that child-free couples are FAR happier than couples with kids.
  • I don’t have the delusion that having children will somehow guarantee love or that I won’t be alone on my deathbed. Lots of people are alone on their deathbed anyway (I work in end-of-life care). Also, given the state of the Earth with regards to climate change, I feel it’s kinda s***** to keep making more humans. We probably can’t turn this ship around.
  • Our society is structures so that nearly everyone but the wealthy are living hand-to-mouth. I feel no security in my life and find life stressful. I can’t imagine how bad that would be if I had to worry about another soul.
  • I’m selfish, so I’m not going to sacrifice my time for them. I don’t want to bring kids into this world if they can’t be unconditionally loved.
  • I’m absolutely terrified of developing postpartum depression.
  • I’m stingy. I don’t want something that takes up the majority of my life for the foreseeable future.
  • I’m the kind of person that often changes his mind. Like, to do whatever he wants and go back if need be. Where will my return option be if I have a child?
  • I’d rather regret not having children than regret having them.

Wow, that’s quite a list. My responses to it have morphed throughout the day. My first response was to focus on the selfishness that most of these quotes claim for themselves and how it’s good for all of us to be broken from our selfishness. This is something that needs to be purged from all of our lives, and children is not a sure-fire way to do it, but it’s certainly a side-effect if I let it be. But the more I think about that the more I think about the caveat “if I let it be.” Too many parents do not sacrifice for their children the way they should. Perhaps the father shirks his responsibility and leaves the mother with all of it. The opposite can be true as well, although this can be less common.

And I’m not going to get into who the children become when they grow up, being damaged by their childhood (childhood trauma was mentioned a few times in the list). That’s a whole different topic. I’m talking about the parents now.

Back on topic, the more I thought about it the more I realized that a lot of key Bible characters were not fathers. We know that Jesus wasn’t a father. Saul/Paul wasn’t a father. I don’t know that we can be sure, but it appears that John the Baptist wasn’t a father. I don’t know about the others such as Peter (we know he was married), Timothy, John Mark, etc. But I think it can be concluded that it’s not a sin to not be a father (although there are some churches that hold birth control up as a sin, and I’m not going to get into that either–not the point of what I’m writing here).

So if it’s not a sin to not be a parent (the birth control debate not withstanding), how do I feel about these reasons? Am I willing to embrace them as legitimate? I have two children who are now in their 20s. Suffice it to say, things did not go as I hoped for them, but that doesn’t mean their lives haven’t played out so far exactly how you’ve needed them to play out for their sakes. I will say, as I think about them each possibly having children one day, I do worry about their ability to fight against the tides in society as they raise any grandchildren my wife and I might have. It was more complicated to raise them than it was for my parents to raise me. Technology made taking away privileges almost impossible because they had so many more ways to sneak around “grounding” than I could ever have imagined. Now you add the increasing toxicity of social media and the media to which they will be exposed without my ability to control it–it’s frightening. I was 26 when our son was born. If I were 25 now, I would seriously think twice about having children simply because of the current I have have to swim against.

At the same time, I heard someone say one time, if Christians stop having children then who is left to have children? The same is true for things like public schools. If Christians take their children out of public schools, who is left in public school?

I don’t know. I’m not getting as far with this topic and article as I had hoped. I guess I would say that I understand each individual’s reluctance to have children. I understand the fear. I understand the selfishness. I understand the philosophical question of whether the Earth can handle more children. I guess what I would counsel anyone wrestling with this question–or not wrestling–to keep an open mind as you go through life. Of course, if they are Christians, listen to your still small voice. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Be willing to have your life turned upside down and even made miserable. Maybe that’s what you have for us. Maybe that’s the road you need us to me or them to walk to turn us into the people you need us to be. Maybe our lives are not about us, but about you. But one thing I do hope–that each person who decides to not have children will refrain from giving parenting advice to those of us who have them. 🙂

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 23, 2021 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

James 4:1-12

20 May

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure. You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. Do you think the Scriptures have no meaning? They say that God is passionate that the spirit he has placed within us should be faithful to him. And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor. Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?
James 4:1-12

Dear God, what would James have to say to today’s church? He was pretty upset in this passage. He emphatically called them adulterers. He told them they were living as a friend of the world. He told them they were fighting out of jealousy. He told them a lot of things.

For us, my judgment is that he would tell today’s church that it has lost its first love. The church today seems to put more faith in the power of political advantage than relying on you. I do it too. I want the strongest economy, the strongest military, etc. I am pro-life, so I want the government to take away abortion. I want all kinds of stuff, but I’d rather lean on the political power I can see and influence instead of leaning on you, who is beyond my influence.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s about what we can influence vs. what we cannot influence. We cannot influence you. We can only worship you and listen for your call. We can only wait on your timing instead of forcing our own. Maybe that’s why I’m so bad at worshipping you. Maybe that’s why I create my idols—because my idols are an extension of my own ability to control an outcome. You, on the other hand, insist that I trust you and let go of my control, my life, and my agenda.

Father, I like to think I am apart from the overall “church.” Their sins are not my sins. I want to believe I am right and they are wrong. But the log in my eye is too huge for me to see the speck in the church’s eye. I am sorry. Help me to worship you well and listen for your call. Do it all for your glory’s sake, and not mine.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 20, 2021 in James

 

James 3:13-18

19 May

If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
James 3:13-18

Dear God, this is a great passage, and the whole thing is worth digging into, but I want to pause on a phrase towards the beginning: “the humility that comes from wisdom.” Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. I’ve seen very foolish older people. it doesn’t necessarily come from experience. No, I think there are two other ingredients that are part of the recipe: suffering through trials and responding to the suffering by truly submitting to you.

There’s a reason that 12-step programs include submitting to a higher power. It goes back to the stages of faith I read about in the Communicators Commentary on Job. I don’t have in front of me the author of these six levels of faith, but here they are:

1. Intuitive – projective faith: is associated with the child’s faith, based upon fantasy and imagination

2. Mythical-literal faith: is the family faith of the early school years, which is sustained by moral rules and either/or thinking

3. Synthetic – conventional faith: as an adolescent phase that conforms to the tradition of the community and creates the “kind” of person of faith it models or rejects

4. Individuative – reflective faith: is the faith of the young adult who is capable of critical thinking, independent reflection, and dialectical reasoning

5. Conjunctive faith: is a mid-life and old-age faith that integrates self-identity with a comprehensive world of you to see the order, coherence, and meaning of life in order to serve and be served

6. Universalizing faith: is the rare faith of the world citizen who incarnates a transcendent vision into a disciplined, active, and self-giving life. –Page 21

The wisest people I know reach the phase that Job eventually reached and the apostle Paul reached pretty quickly. The last phase when they submit their will to the idea that life is not about them. Freedom and peace are found in our decision to fully embrace your path for our lives regardless of what it means for our level of comfort. The widow who gave her to coins in front of Jesus likely lived an entire life of poverty, and you used her to teach us for thousands of years. John the Baptist lost his head, but you have used him. Jesus went through torture and lost his life for us. Paul went through prison and death, but he considered his life worth nothing to him. And James speaks of it here.

Father, these are easy words to say and difficult words to live. Help my life to be more of a reflection of these words, not for my sake but for your glory.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2021 in James

 

No verse

18 May

Dear God, it’s 9:20 at night and I’m sitting in front of my house, cooking off after a workout. The last 28 hours have been quite something. Really, I have to add the 12 hours leading up to it, so we will say that I’ve been in a bit of an emotional state since yesterday morning. I have so many things I’m thinking, and one of the challenges is that, for privacy reasons for others, I cannot explicitly say what I’m thinking if I post this on the blog. But then again, maybe speaking of my thoughts vaguely will be a good exercise for me to look beyond the actual circumstances and see what deeper issue(s) might be at their core.

It’s hard to watch someone else struggle. It’s hard to watch them have to walk a road you’ve already walked, at least to some extent, and know the strain that’s ahead for them. But I also know something they cannot quite yet appreciate. Actually, I know two things. One, the difficult path they’ve already walked has made them someone they’d never have otherwise become. Two, the difficult path ahead will teach them more about themselves and help them accomplish more than they would without the struggle. It looks bad now, but they will look back 10 years from now and see how this path made them who they are.

Father, help my friend. Make this count. Make their pain count. Don’t let it be wasted. Make it count for them, for those in their life now, and those to come. Show me who you need me to be in their life. And help me to not get in your way and short circuit anything you are trying to do. And use this to teach me as well. To thine, be the glory, oh, Lord.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2021 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Romans 11:33-12:2

17 May

Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! For who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to give him advice? And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen. And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 11:33-12:2

Dear God, I don’t know that I’ve ever had a moment in which it was more important that I respond with the Holy Spirit’s guidance or that I’ve actually known was coming so I could spend time talking with you to prepare. Someone has asked to speak to me tonight, and I know it’s going to require all of you and none of me. It’s going to require all of your love, wisdom, and discernment. It’s going to require your insight and your patience. I’m making some assumptions about what we will be discussing so I could be overreacting, but even if I am, there’s is no harm in me trying to be as tuned into you as possible.

So this passage is about your wisdom vs. my wisdom. No doubt which one is better. The theme of my spiritual walk over the last nearly 20 years is that I simply don’t know what you’re doing for the future so I am going to just try to stay in the moment and hear your still small voice.

Father, make me the man you need me to be tonight. Not for my sake, but for your sake. For your kingdom’s sake. I love everyone involved tonight, but in the end it’s not about them or me. It’s about you. So grant me the serenity, courage and wisdom to be what and who you need me to be.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2021 in Romans

 

John 17:11-21

16 May

Now I am departing from the world; they are staying in this world, but I am coming to you. Holy Father, you have given me your name; now protect them by the power of your name so that they will be united just as we are. During my time here, I protected them by the power of the name you gave me. I guarded them so that not one was lost, except the one headed for destruction, as the Scriptures foretold. “Now I am coming to you. I told them many things while I was with them in this world so they would be filled with my joy. I have given them your word. And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do. Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth. Just as you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by your truth.

“I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.
John 17:11-21

Dear God, at first glance, it appears that not even all of Jesus’s prayers were answered. When he was praying that you would protect the disciples, was he hoping none of them would be killed? Did he understand that it would be at least 2,000 years before he would return? Did he know that someone in the year 2021 would be included in his prayer for future believers. And was the prayer he prayed for our unity futile? Lots of questions, and I confess that I do not have the answers.

By thinking about unity for a moment, what is my role in unity? How do I allow disunity between me and others (family, friends, community)? How do I encourage disunity between other people? On the other hand, what are ways I can be part of unity? How can I encourage it between myself and others, or between other people? I think it starts with humility. So many quarrels are over who is right and who is wrong. I heard someone say this week that the narrower his theology gets and focuses on the important essentials the greater his love for people grows. On the other hand, the broader his theology gets (topics like infant baptism, wine at communion, etc.) the narrower his love for others is. Along those lines, the more I think I have things figured out the more foolish and narrow-minded I am. On the other hand, the more I focus simply on your love and how others can be at peace through their access to you that Jesus’s death and resurrection affords them , the more I will love them and help others to be comfortable turning loose of their own broad philosophies/theologies and embrace you as well.

Father, help me to love you in a real way. Help me to be an example of unity. Let it start with my wife and children, and their significant others. I pray for all of them, that there would be healing, peace, and a sense of your glory. Your glory, oh Lord, is my strength. Not my own mind. Not my own beliefs, but you alone, Lord.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2021 in John

 
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