The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known.
Psalm 19:1-2
Dear God, I’ve never liked multi-verse stuff in movies and story telling. Even in science with things like string theory. I’m just not interested. Maybe it’s because, especially with movies and story telling, the person telling me the story has no idea. There is one thing I find interesting when story tellers deal with different timelines or universes. There seems to be an assumption that the timeline they have known all of their lives is the optimal one. It’s almost an accidental acknowledgment that God (you) are directing us into the optimal timeline at all times. For example, in Back to the Future, even though the future does change, Marty and Doc are doing their best to ensure that nothing changes. I say all of this because when I read these verses from David this morning I thought about how comfortable he was with not needing to understand the sky, the stars, the clouds, etc. He just used it to lean into you a little more.
As I mentioned before, there are things like string theory that address what is beyond our physical world that we can see. What is beyond time? What is beyond the space we occupy? Honestly, I think, to some extent, that is where you reside. That’s where you move. That the timeless quality that explains so much. Personally, I think it helps explain déjà vu, but that’s beside the point.
Father, you are so much bigger than me. And although science has explained some of the things about which David marveled thousands of years ago, it makes it no less amazing. It makes you no less powerful. It makes you no less God. So I come to you this morning to marvel at even the wonder of my life. And then I think about the fragility of it all. I’ve been to a lot of funerals lately. I recently found out about a woman who potentially has a very significant case of cancer and she is still young with a grade-school child. I don’t want that boy to lose his mother. I don’t want that husband to lose his wife. I don’t want the world to lose this woman. So I pray for her. I ask that you mercifully heal her. I ask that you give her strength, wisdom, and hope. I don’t know if that hope is for a long life no earth or a hope of a joyous eternity with you. But speak to her soul and give her peace. Make this pain count in her life. Do it all for your glory.
Dear God, as I sat this morning and thought about what direction I want to go as I spend some time with you, the word “worship” came to mind. I just want to worship you. I want to worship you in song. I want to worship you in my thoughts and words. I want to love you this morning and show you the love I have for you.
“The Heart of Worship” by Matt Redman
When the music fades All is stripped away And I simply come
Longing just to bring Something that’s of worth That will bless Your heart
I’ll bring You more than a song For a song in itself Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within Through the ways things appear You’re looking into my heart
I’m comin’ back to the heart of worship And it’s all about You It’s all about You, Jesus
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it When it’s all about You It’s all about You, Jesus
King of endless worth No one could express How much You deserve
Though I’m weak and poor All I have is Yours Every single breath
I’ll bring You more than a song For a song in itself Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within Through the way things appear You’re looking into my heart, yeah
I’m comin’ back to the heart of worship And it’s all about You It’s all about You, Jesus
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it When it’s all about You It’s all about You, Jesus
I’m comin’ back to the heart of worship ‘Cause it’s all about You It’s all about You, Jesus
I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it ‘Cause it’s all about You It’s all about You, Jesus, yeah All about You
I’ll bring You more than a song I’ll bring You more than a song, more than a song I’ll bring You more than a song I’ll bring You more than a song (than a song)
You’re looking into my heart You’re looking into my heart You’re looking into my heart Into my heart
I’ll bring You more than a song I’ll bring You more than a song, yeah, yeah I’ll bring You more than a song I’ll bring You more than a song
This song captures my heart this morning. Some lines that stand out to me:
“Longing just to bring something that’s of worth that will bless your heart.”
“You’re looking into my heart.”
“King of endless worth. No on could express how much you deserve”
My wife and I were talking this morning about a friend who does not live in an ideal situation in terms of housing and roommates. However, something fortuitous happened with that friend yesterday that likely would not have happened if she lived alone. Could it be you are making her struggle count?
We have another friend who received a significant diagnosis for their child two days ago, but we just found out yesterday. As we pray for them, what will you do to make their pain and struggle count? How will you heal? How will you show your glory.
I have no less that six friends who are going through some sort of marital problems right now. From unhappiness in the same home, to separation, to divorce. It’s hard to watch from the outside looking in. How will you use me to help those situations? How can I keep from getting in your way and making things worse?
Then there is the world. From wars and war crimes, to national politics, to the economy, to hunger, etc. There is so much happening. How should I engage with it? What are you doing in me through these things that is refining me into who you think I need to be?
And of course, there are my own personal issues. You know my concerns, pain, and fear. I bring it all to you, turn my clinched fists to the ground, open up to let the things to which I hold so tightly fall, and then turn my palms up to accept what you want to give me to meet my needs.
Father, I am humbled before you. I am unworthy. You are good. I am not. You are my God. I worship you. Help me to be what you need me to be today for those around me. My wife. My children. Their significant others. My friends. My coworkers. The clients where I work. I give it all to you. I’ll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required. I bring you my whole life. I bring you my pride and my ego. Do what you need to do to break me, mold me, fill me, and use me. And comfort everyone who has crossed my mind while I typed this, as well as those I have forgotten.
I pray all of this because of the power and redemption you give me through your son Jesus,
Lord, through all the generations you have been our home! Before the mountains were born, before you gave birth to the earth and the world, from beginning to end, you are God. You turn people back to dust, saying, “Return to dust, you mortals!” For you, a thousand years are as a passing day, as brief as a few night hours. You sweep people away like dreams that disappear. They are like grass that springs up in the morning. In the morning it blooms and flourishes, but by evening it is dry and withered. We wither beneath your anger; we are overwhelmed by your fury. You spread out our sins before you— our secret sins—and you see them all. We live our lives beneath your wrath, ending our years with a groan. Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away. Who can comprehend the power of your anger? Your wrath is as awesome as the fear you deserve. Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom. O Lord, come back to us! How long will you delay? Take pity on your servants! Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives. Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery! Replace the evil years with good. Let us, your servants, see you work again; let our children see your glory. And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful! Psalm 90
Dear God, we are not as strong as we think we are. Those are the words that come to mind as I read this prayer from Moses. We are so small. There is so much we do not understand. You must chuckle at the “smartest” among us. Almost like we cheer on a child who just learned how to phonetically read. That is what our greatest wisdom must look like to you.
It’s also kind of cool that this is from Moses. One of the things he asks is that you will teach us the brevity of life. And why? So we can grow in wisdom. I think the wisdom is to truly understand just how small we are. The earth is billions of our years old, but even before then, you were there. You exist in a realm beyond our time. You work in ways I cannot understand. I am small—so small. You are big—so big. I am foolish—so foolish. You are wise and all-knowing. That’s just the way it is, and that’s okay.
Father, help me to carry my humility and your greatness with me throughout this day. With the knowledge of my foolishness, ignorance, and smallness comes peace. If I can accept it then it will bring me peace to lean into you and away from myself. And help me to believe and live up to everything I just said.
We seem to give them back to you, dear God, who gave them to us. Yet, as you did not lose them in giving, so we have not lost them by their return. What you give, you do not take away. For what is yours is ours always, if we are yours. And life is eternal and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight. Lift us up, O God, that we may see further; cleanse our eyes that we may see more clearly; draw us closer to yourself that we may know ourselves nearer to our beloved who are with you. And while your Son has prepared a place for us, prepare us for that happy place, that, where they are and you are, we too may be; through the same Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
Read at the funeral of John “Jack” Burton Kendrick (1942-2022)
Dear God, I’ve been to a lot of funerals, but there have only been a few instances when something really touched me. In this case, I was at the funeral of a friend today and the priest read this blessing at the end. Thankfully, it was printed in the program so I could capture it here.
The prayer is very poetic. It’s the classic poetry thing of using just a few words to communicate so much. I want to capture some of those phrases here and think/pray about them. Holy Spirit, be with me and counsel me while I do this.
“…you did not lose them in giving…”
This is just one phrase on that whole first part, and the entirety of the second and third sentences are important, but they seem to be built on this idea that life and death are not a zero-sum game. In fact, life is win/win. We gain our loved one. Even if we lose them, they 1.) remain in our hearts and the impact of their life always influences us and 2.) we will have them forever when we return to you. You didn’t lose them when they were on earth. You gave them to earth. And they are never really gone.
“…and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight…”
Yes. Our sight is so, so limited. Even now, I wonder how much I should be positioning my prayers in my heart. To the Father? To the Son? To the Holy Spirit? I guess it makes most sense to pray to the Holy Spirit because he is the counselor with me–the comforter–but Jesus spoke with the Father and he invited us to speak to the Father. But I digress. When it comes to death, we simply don’t understand. I don’t understand My sight cannot see beyond the horizon, but the horizon is established only by my ability to rise above and see clearly through the help of the Holy Spirit.
“And while your Son has prepared a place for us, prepare us for that happy place…”
There’s an Amy Grant song called “In a Little While.” The chorus includes the phrase, “We’re just here to learn to love Him.” To love you. To love you is what it’s about.
Father, recently, I feel like I have unplugged my roots from your stream to some extent. I’m sorry for that. while my “leaves” and “branches” can hold on and look okay for a couple of days, pretty soon I start to see the decay. So I’m very sorry. I’m sorry for pulling my roots away from your nourishment. I’m sorry for allowing thorny or rocky soil to be the soil the Holy Spirit has to try to break through. I’m sorry for my selfishness. And with all of that said, help me to see. Help me to see you. Help me to rest in you. Help me to have access to your wisdom and spiritual nourishment. Help me to love richly.
“So guard yourselves and God’s people. Feed and shepherd God’s flock—his church, purchased with his own blood —over which the Holy Spirit has appointed you as leaders. I know that false teachers, like vicious wolves, will come in among you after I leave, not sparing the flock. Even some men from your own group will rise up and distort the truth in order to draw a following. Watch out! Remember the three years I was with you—my constant watch and care over you night and day, and my many tears for you. “And now I entrust you to God and the message of his grace that is able to build you up and give you an inheritance with all those he has set apart for himself. “I have never coveted anyone’s silver or gold or fine clothes. You know that these hands of mine have worked to supply my own needs and even the needs of those who were with me. And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”
Dear God, if I had ever asked myself, “What would Paul say if he were seemingly speaking to me for the last time?” I suppose these verses would be the answer.
Guard yourself
Protect over other believers from a theological perspective
Be part of edifying the church
Watch out for false teachers/teaching
The message of God’s grace builds you up and sets you apart
I didn’t expect others to serve me so don’t expect to others to serve you
Serve others
You’ll be blessed if you give
Father, help me to carry the spirit of these words with me today. Holy Spirit, counsel me. Comfort me. Guide me. Show me how to do all of these things for others.
Dear God, it’s interesting that Rich Mullins died young because he had a couple of really interesting songs about the end of life here on earth and transitioning to you. He probably had more, but these are the two that come to mind immediately.
The first one, which was on his first album, was called “Elijah”
“Elijah” by Rich Mullins
The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through My heart is aging I can tell So Lord, I’m begging for one last favor from You Here’s my heart take it where You will
This life has shown me how we’re mended and how we’re torn How it’s okay to be lonely as long as you’re free Sometimes my ground was stony And sometimes covered up with thorns And only You could make it what it had to be And now that it’s done Well if they dressed me like a pauper Or if they dined me like a prince If they lay me with my fathers Or if my ashes scatter on the wind I don’t care
But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire And when I look back on the stars It’ll be like a candlelight in Central Park And it won’t break my heart to say goodbye
There’s people been friendly, but they’d never be your friends Sometimes this has bent me to the ground Now that this is all ending I want to hear some music once again ‘Cause it’s the finest thing that I have ever found
But the Jordan is waiting Though I ain’t never seen the other side Still they say you can’t take in the things you have here So on the road to salvation I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride And His music is already falling on my ears
There’s people been talking They say they’re worried about my soul Well, I’m here to tell you I’ll keep rocking ‘Til I’m sure it’s my time to roll And when I do
When I leave I want to go out like Elijah With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire And when I look back on the stars It’ll be like a candlelight in Central Park And it won’t break my heart to say goodbye
‘Cause when I leave I want to go out like Elijah With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire And when I look back on the stars It’ll be like a candlelight in Central Park And it won’t break my heart to say goodbye
There are a few lines of this song at the beginning that really speak to me.
This life has shown me how we’re mended and how we’re torn How it’s okay to be lonely as long as you’re free Sometimes my ground was stony And sometimes covered up with thorns And only You could make it what it had to be
I just bolded some specific words out of the first two lines here: “This life has shown me…it’s okay to be lonely as long as you’re free.” What an interesting thing that our society has given us. Now, I’m not saying that I want to be subjugated to the government or anything like that, but certainly the two greatest commandments demand that we give up some of that freedom so that we can be your blessing both to you and to others around us. I give up my life for you. I give up my rights to serve others.
I think that is something that frustrates me about the American Evangelical Church right now. It is fighting for its rights and its freedom. I heard a pastor I respect say, “The Church is at its worst when it’s fighting for its own rights, but it is at its best when it is fighting for the rights of others.” I think the same is probably true for us as individuals as well, but we need to make sure that right is a legitimate right that they need.
I think the next lines in that of that stanza I pasted above are even more poetic and meaningful to me: “Sometimes my ground was story//And sometimes covered up with thorns.” Of course, this is an allusion to the parable of the sower (Matthew 13). The stony-soiled heart has no depth or root. No discipleship. The thorny-soiled heart is overrun by the cares of the world. Yeah, there are times when I let my soil get hard and the roots are shallow and fragile. More often, however, my heart is distracted by the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of wealth. When I look back, how much of my life will have been spent providing the Holy Spirit good soil with which to work? No enough.
Then there’s my favorite of Rich’s death songs, “Be with You.”
“Be with You” by Rich Mullins
Everybody each and all We’re gonna die eventually It’s no more or less our faults Than it is our destiny So now Lord I come to you Asking only for Your grace You know what I’ve put myself through All those empty dreams I chased
And when my body lies in the ruins Of the lies that nearly ruined me Will You pick up the pieces That were pure and true And breathe Your life into them And set them free?
And when You start this world over Again from scratch Will You make me anew Out of the stuff that lasts? Stuff that’s purer than gold is And clearer than glass could ever be Can I be with You? Can I be with You?
And everybody all and each From the day that we are born We have to learn to walk beneath Those mercies by which we’re drawn And now we wrestle in the dark With these angels that we can’t see We will move on although with scars Oh Lord, move inside of me
And when my body lies in the ruins Of the lies that nearly ruined me Will You pick up the pieces That were pure and true And breathe Your life into them And set them free?
And when You blast this cosmos To kingdom come When those jagged-edged mountains I love are gone When the sky is crossed with the tears Of a thousand falling suns As they crash into the sea Can I be with you? Can I be with you?
Songwriters: Benjamin Justin Peters / Richard Mullins
This song is just a simple request. Earth is good. Life here is good. It’s taught me a lot. But it’s just a staging ground. It’s a vapor. Each person has their own course through it. Destiny, if you will. Some were murdered this week in Ukraine, in Uvalde, and in different parts of our country and the entire world. Some died of disease, and some in simple accidents. Unbeknownst to me, my time could be just around the corner. But none of that really matters in the grand scheme of things, I suppose. 100 years from now, with very few exceptions, just about every person who is alive now will be dead. We will all be in the same place. When that happens, this is the request all of us will have: “Can I be with you?” That’s what the TV show “The Good Place” missed. It saw heaven as just a good place that (spoiler alert) got boring. But they missed two things: 1.) the measurement of time as we know it now won’t exist there and 2.) we get to simply be in your presence and I assume that, if time were still measured in the same way, your presence would still make it disappear. No, I’m not worried about getting bored there. I just want to be with you.
Father, help me to prepare fertile soil in my heart for you today. Do it through time with you, through worshipping you with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. Do it through me learning to love my neighbors better. Do it through your Holy Spirit guiding, comforting, and counseling me in the right direction.
24 But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.
Acts 20:24
Dear God, this verse has been important to me for almost 35 years. I mentioned to my wife this morning that it was the verse of the day on Bible Gateway, and she asked if it still means as much to me as it did then. I said it does. What I see in this verse is that Paul was willing to walk the path of almost certain destruction (arrest, incarceration, and, ultimately, death) because that was the path you had for him as part of your will being done and your kingdom coming to earth. Should I be any different. If I have life circumstances that are seemingly unfavorable to me or even tragic, maybe that’s just the path you require in my life to mold me into who you need me to be and to mold the lives of others around me to mold them as well.
I was listening to a commentary this morning on Solomon. They talked about his the contradiction in how he asked for wisdom but then did not walk the path of the wise. The speaker suggested that his mistake was that he used his wisdom for his own glory and not for yours. He used it to amass his own fortune, even to the point of disobeying old commands from Deuteronomy about not bringing in horses from Egypt, so that he could have the best. He had the wisdom, but he did not have the humility. Ultimately, all of it corrupted him.
Father, I really don’t want my heart to be corrupted. I want any shred of wisdom I have to be directed towards you and your glory. I want to be at peace in the Holy Spirit regardless of my circumstances. I want to use any privilege I have, whether it be the unspoken privilege of my race or place in society or the financial and time resources you’ve given to me, to worship you with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself. My utmost for your highest, oh, Lord.
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him. “There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.” John 3:16-21
Dear God, there is so much to emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually process from the last two days. It’s seems like there are different levels of evil, but it’s hard to know when it’s gone too far. The young man in Uvalde—the evil drove him too far. I don’t know what his motivations were. I don’t know what drove him to crave destruction of so many innocents. I have grieved over the last two days. I’m sure the grief has been terrible for you.
Of course, you grieve like this every day, I’m sure. You see the Uvalde equivalent but on a much larger scale in Ukraine. You see the Uvalde equivalent on a smaller scale in individual homes. You see what we do to each other online. In person. Through our words. Through our actions. Through our silence. You see your children give into hatred and let it feed them. I’ve certainly let anger in me turn into some form of hatred. And all of this just grows in darkness.
Father, help me to really be a source of light—your light—in this world. Help me to experience your complete freedom and joy and then share the opportunity to experience that joy with others. I am your Plan A. Your church is your Plan A. There is no Plan B. Help us to be a light that is willing to shine in the shadows so that your presence might go into all the world.
Dear God, I was watching a marriage video by Gary Thomas with my wife last night as my wife and I prepared to lead discussion today for our couples group from church, and he was talking about this concept. He posted this column back in 2014 that goes along the same lines. It’s a great and powerful concept: If my wife is your daughter then, in some respects, that makes you my father-in-law. When I treat my wife in a certain way, I am also treating your daughter in that way as well. But unlike other fathers-in-law, you are omnipresent. You can see not only what goes on in our home behind closed doors, but you see what I do when I am alone. You see into my heart.
So what is my heart towards my wife? Am I guarding it? Am I living out the two greatest commandments in my own home as well as in public?
He also asked another question during the video last night: Am I a spouse-centered spouse or a God-centered spouse? If I am a spouse-centered spouse, that means I will gauge my treatment of my wife based off of how she is treating me. Was she nice to me this morning? If yes, then I might go out of my way a little more for her. Was she cold or focused on other things besides me? If yes, then I might return the attitude in-kind.
However, if I am a God-centered spouse, then I am seeing her through your eyes and her actions are not determining factors in how I treat her, or even think about her. In fact, if she is cold towards me maybe that’s the time you need me to express more concern for her. You need me to care for her and give her even more. It’s not about what she gives me. It’s about what you need for me to give her.
Father, I’m sorry I’ve failed you in so many ways when it comes to my marriage. As a father of two grown children in relationships with significant others, I certainly have my opinions about them. I can only imagine what you think of me. So thank you for entrusting your daughter’s life to me. Thank you for such an amazing woman. I know I take her for granted all of the time. I try not to, but I know I do. So help me to have insights into her and to be exactly that man you need me to be for her sake and so that she can continue to grow into exactly the woman you have for her to be. And in the process, make me the man you need me to be.
So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God. You don’t need further instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And so, God willing, we will move forward to further understanding. For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened—those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come— and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance; by rejecting the Son of God, they themselves are nailing him to the cross once again and holding him up to public shame.
Dear God, this is an interesting passage when you consider the arguments of “once saved always saved” vs. “maintaining your salvation through works.” Of course, I’m not going to get into that here today because I have no idea what, exactly, it takes for any given human to get into heaven, and it feels like it would be arrogant of me to think I know that answer. However, I would like to dive a little into this idea that “it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened—those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come—and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance.” That seems like a very short-sighted argument. Frankly, I would love to be able to unpack the author’s thoughts here a little more with him. Maybe I’ll get to do that one day.
I guess my thought has been that it is easier to reach someone who has already experienced the joy of letting go and surrendering to you, even if they’ve backslidden and taken their lives back from you, than it is to convince someone to submit to you and repent who has never done it before. Everyone has to have a breaking point before they decide to come to you. For some of us, that point is pretty easy to reach. They know the joy in humility, repentance, forgiveness, grace, etc. They know what it’s like, if only for a moment, to touch the Holy Spirit and begin to experience the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, and self control. It’s the person who doesn’t trust it and has never allowed themselves to let go of their own rights and agendas who will have to come to a breaking point at some level.
Father, there are people in my life who are currently worshipping you. There are people who used to worship you and have now walked away. And there are some who have never worshipped you and never plan to. First, help me to be someone who worships you. Help me to repent when necessary, extend mercy when necessary, and worship always. And then show me what you would have me do and who you would have me be for those who are walking their paths. Show me how to encourage the worshipper, kindle the embers of the one who walked away, and be part of your invitation to the one who doesn’t know you. Use me as you will. Let y our kingdom come and your will be done on earth through me.
Emails to God 