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Galatians 5:13

22 May

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.
Galatians 5:13

Dear God, I’m sorry. I know I’m not there yet. I know I sin. I know I’m selfish. I know I’m unkind and unloving. I mean, I try not to be and some of the time I’m who I strive to be in you, but there are times when selfishness takes over. I’m sorry.

The very next verse here talks about loving my neighbor as myself summing up all of the law. And it’s a law that we cannot legislate. It’s a law of our heart. It’s a law that will take us places that we can never will ourselves to go as a society. I wonder if that’s why we are so limited when we try to spread your love and get people to be your followers from the top down. Because a person has to internalize and purpose in their heart to submit to you first, and there’s no way to force that.

Father, once again, I am sorry. As I sit here and run through the things I’m sorry for in my head, and you know my thoughts, I am ant to thank you for giving me the freedom Paul mentions here. But I am sorry I’ve taken advantage of it for my own selfishness.

I pray all of this in the name and grace of Jesus,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 22, 2023 in Galatians

 

Soul Care – Part 1 (by Rob Reimer)

21 May

Dear God, a friend asked me to read this book that’s meant a lot to him. I’ve been spending some time with it and I have things I’ve agreed with, things I’ve disagreed with, and then things that have made me think. I thought I might journal about some of them here and see if your Holy Spirit has anything to say to me through this.

First, I highlighted this sentence:

“Here’s a scary little secret: people marry to the level of their brokenness. If on a scale of 1 to 10 you are a 5, the healthiest relationship you will have is a 5. If you want to move from a 5 to a 7, there is one and only one path to get there. You must change.”

I disagree. I have to say that this was pretty early on in the book so it has made me approach the rest of it with some healthy skepticism. Why do I disagree? Because I can be a healthy person with an unhealthy person who will bring the relationship score down. Or I can be the weak link. If I’m a 5, that doesn’t mean I married a 5. If my wife is an 8 and she sees something in me, a 3, that falls in love and you call her to be with me, then I will be living in a relationship better than a 3 simply because of her presence. If she’s an 8, I’m a 3, and our relationship is a 5 (all of these are obviously subjective ratings), then we can climb to a 6 or 7 through my own growth. So I’m not quite with Mr. Reimer on this one.

Second highlighted sentence:

“Many churches today have one of these components in their culture: anointed truth, true community, or the presence and power of God. But it takes all three to create a culture of deep change.”

I have to say that I hate to disagree again, but this isn’t how I view churches today. I see them more as either having all three of these areas or having none of them. I’m not sure you can have these three things in a mutually exclusive way. Can you have anointed truth taught and not also develop community through it and have your presence and power among us? Can I do the first two and not have your presence and power? I guess I can see where “true community” could exist without the other two, but I’m not sure any environment will have one of the other two for very long without having all three develop. But if anointed truth or your presence and power shows up first and the other two components don’t develop, then that component will fade quickly. In my opinion. But I do agree with him that the healthiest churches have all three. The others are just going through the motions and it is why so many churches are dying and not attracting new people. It’s also why politics have been able to take root and become an idol in churches. We have lost our first love.

Third highlighted sentence:

But if you believe that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving Creator, in the image of God and redeemed by the Savior who counted you worthy of His very life, then your life will be rich with meaning, purpose, and passion.”

I totally agree with this. It reminded me of Job and what he figured out about his “meaning, purpose, and passion.” At the beginning of Job, he counted himself righteous and that you would reward or discipline him based on his performance. When he suffered even without bad performance, he took issue with you. But after you showed up and spoke to him at the end of the book, he realized that his life was not about himself at all. His purpose was about simply being here to be used by you and to worship you. He deserved nothing. It’s the realization Paul comes to very quickly: “But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesu–the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God.” (Acts 20:24) My life isn’t about what I accomplish by building up my own storehouses. I don’t deserve anything. The only thing I can expect is your grace through the gift you gave me through Jesus’s life, death and resurrection. Beyond that, my life is about you.

Fourth highlighted sentence:

“There are two key tools that you can access to renew your mind. They are both vital–you need to renew your mind by holding on to the truth, and you need the presence of God.” (emphasis Reimer’s)

This reminds me of Andy Stanley’s current series on “The Fundamental List.” So much of what we get theologically wrapped around the axle about is just immaterial opinion. Mary. Infant baptism. Drinking. Homosexuality. Promiscuity. Some of these are more important that others, but they are not foundational to my faith. For me, believing in Jesus, repenting and then developing a relationship with you is fundamental. The more I do that the more the Holy Spirit molds and shapes me. He is shaping me in this moment right now–clearing out the thorns in my soil. Getting rid of the pursuit of wealth and cares of this world. Developing the fruits of His/your Spirit. Sharing the hope to someone else that they can have those fruits. Loving my neighbor. I need your truth and I need your presence, as Reimer says. I just need to pray for your discernment about what is real truth from you and what is false truth from others.

Fifth highlighted sentence:

“I often spend time alone with God in silence.”

Here’s what I typed as a note for this: “Silence is a weird one for me. The times I hear God speak to me in silence aren’t as much prescribed times of silence, but only after I’ve been actively seeking him for an answer and then he uses an intuition or sometimes even something or someone around me to say something that the Holy Spirit seems to tell me it’s from Him.” Honestly, Father, these times of journaling have been some of the most revelatory times for me. I have felt your Spirit speak to me through channeling my thoughts while I focus them through this process. I focus on you in a way that I never can in just silence. Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe I haven’t disciplined myself enough to learn from this process. I don’t know. But I know that I find this time with you in this way incredibly edifying and soul-building.

Sixth highlighted sentence:

“The lie I believed was that if someone didn’t agree with me, they didn’t love me, or at least I felt threatened that they wouldn’t love me.”

I’m grateful I’m not at this place now. I think I used to be. I don’t know that I used to feel loved or unloved based on this, but I have certainly wondered about if I can be in relationship. And there have been some dealbreakers for me. But those have been more about personal things in relationships and boundaries than they’ve been about general opinions regarding life, theology, politics, etc.

Conclusions

So that’s where I am up to this point. I’m not sure if I will finish the book or not. But I wanted to stop and assess what I’ve gotten out of it up to this point. Even the things I haven’t agreed with have made me stop and question why I disagree so I guess that’s been good too. But just know that I love you. I’m grateful for you. I know I deserve nothing. I’m here for whatever you’re calling me to do. Give me ears to hear.

I pray this under your authority and in your name,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 21, 2023 in Miscellaneous, Soul Care by Rob Reimer

 

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Hebrews 6:7-12

18 May

When the ground soaks up the falling rain and bears a good crop for the farmer, it has God’s blessing. But if a field bears thorns and thistles, it is useless. The farmer will soon condemn that field and burn it.

Dear friends, even though we are talking this way, we really don’t believe it applies to you. We are confident that you are meant for better things, things that come with salvation. For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other believers, as you still do. Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. Then you will not become spiritually dull and indifferent. Instead, you will follow the example of those who are going to inherit God’s promises because of their faith and endurance.
Hebrews 6:7-12

Dear God, as I read this passage this morning I started to get the thought that loving others might be close to as important, out of all the things I do, as loving you. Then i immediately thought of Jesus’s two great commandments: love you and love others. And he didn’t have to throw in “love others.” He was only asked what the greatest commandment was. But he is the one who added, “…and the second is like it…” (Matthew 22:26-30)

So if I do all of the right things in terms of worshipping you. If I can pontificate on my theology and wax eloquently about my understanding of your nature. If I only spend my time learning about you, studying you, and burying my head in the Bible and commentaries and have not love, I am nothing. (1 Corinthians 13–my paraphrase)

Father, keep other in the forefront of my mind today. Worshipping you and loving others is not an intellectual exercise. It is whole-life worship and love. So as I interact with family members today, let it be all about loving them. As I write letters to donors, help me to put loving them first in my heart. As I talk to board members and staff, help me to put loving them into my heart. As I spend time with my wife, help me to put loving her first in my heart. And help me to worship you with what I have today because you are my God and worthy of my worship.

I pray all of this through the grace of Jesus,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 18, 2023 in Hebrews

 

Acts 16:22-34

16 May

A mob quickly formed against Paul and Silas, and the city officials ordered them stripped and beaten with wooden rods. They were severely beaten, and then they were thrown into prison. The jailer was ordered to make sure they didn’t escape. So the jailer put them into the inner dungeon and clamped their feet in the stocks. Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off! The jailer woke up to see the prison doors wide open. He assumed the prisoners had escaped, so he drew his sword to kill himself. But Paul shouted to him, “Stop! Don’t kill yourself! We are all here!” The jailer called for lights and ran to the dungeon and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. Then he brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household.” And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household. Even at that hour of the night, the jailer cared for them and washed their wounds. Then he and everyone in his household were immediately baptized. He brought them into his house and set a meal before them, and he and his entire household rejoiced because they all believed in God.
Acts 16:22-34

Dear God, mob mentality is an interesting thing. Reading this just now reminded me about one of the many powerful scenes in the movie version of To Kill A Mockingbird. In it, there is a mob ready to lynch the prisoner in jail and only his lawyer is standing in their way. Then the lawyer’s children come and his daughter Scout starts talking to one of the men in the mob whom she knows. I just pulled it up on YouTube and it still brings tears to my eyes.

I know people lose their heads and mobs like this happen often. Maybe even more so now that we have social media. I guess you could look back on January 6, 2021, and all of the people who now regret going into the capitol building. They got caught up into an emotional state because they felt threatened, afraid, or cheated through injustice. Whatever the reason, the things that mobs respond to are never exhibited through the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and self control).

So the passage right after this one tells us that, the day after Paul and Silas had been flogged and jailed, the city officials sent word to let them go. Had they come to their senses? Did this ponder it all night, discuss it apart from the mob and decide they needed to rectify their mistake? I don’t know. But I know they seemed to change course when cooler heads prevailed.

All of this is a reminder to me. It’s a reminder to pause before acting when my emotions are high. It’s a reminder to be very careful before I join in with an angry crowd. This can include my coworkers when they get upset and emotional about something. It can be good to take a beat in those situations and let the emotion calm down.

Father, help me to be wise. Help me to not be in a hurry when I feel threatened, afraid, or cheated. Help me to respond, even in the worst of times, with love, joy, peace, etc.) Thank you for this day. Thank you for meeting me in it. I needed a good productive day, and you gave it to me. You blessed me in so many ways I can see, not to mention the ones I cannot see. Continue to use me as my wife and I go to have dinner with a friend tonight. Make us a blessing to her and her family. Let your kingdom come and you will be done on earth through our lives.

I pray all of this in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 16, 2023 in Acts

 

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John 15:26-16:4

15 May

“But I will send you the Advocate—the Spirit of truth. He will come to you from the Father and will testify all about me. And you must also testify about me because you have been with me from the beginning of my ministry.

“I have told you these things so that you won’t abandon your faith. For you will be expelled from the synagogues, and the time is coming when those who kill you will think they are doing a holy service for God. This is because they have never known the Father or me. Yes, I’m telling you these things now, so that when they happen, you will remember my warning. I didn’t tell you earlier because I was going to be with you for a while longer.”
John 15:26-16:4

Dear God, here is the phrase of this that caught my attention this morning when I read it: “…and the time is coming when those who kill you will think they are doing a holy service for God.” We are such fools. I would love to say that this doesn’t still happen, but of course it does. And it’s often those who are most convinced they are doing it in your name who can be the most dogmatic and problematic. The most dangerous.

But instead of sitting here and pointing fingers at others right now, maybe I should examine my heart and figure out how I might be one who thinks I am doing a holy service for you when, in actuality, I am advancing my own agenda out of what I think is my own “wisdom.” I’ll tell you where I tend to judge people is when I think they aren’t doing enough. When I think they are too selfish and not sacrificial enough. As if I know enough about them to make that evaluation or judgment.

Father, make me a refuge for the unjustly persecuted, a resource for those who unjustly persecute others so that they might know you, and, most importantly, a follower of you who is more interested in loving others than finding fault in them. Sweet, Jesus. I need you. I need your forgiveness for my sin. I need your patience for my foolishness. I need your teaching for my ignorance. I need your love for my insecurity. I need your perspective for my self-pity. I need your correction for my mistakes. I need your comfort for my pain. Thank you for offering me all of this through your Holy Spirit.

I pray all of this in the name of the one, only Triune God,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2023 in John

 

“The Unknown God” Acts 17:22-23

14 May

22 So Paul, standing before the council, addressed them as follows: “Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious in every way, 23 for as I was walking along I saw your many shrines. And one of your altars had this inscription on it: ‘To an Unknown God.’ This God, whom you worship without knowing, is the one I’m telling you about.

Acts 17:22-23

Dear God, I heard a sermon on this passage this morning. Of love the idea that Paul used this as his entry into the intellectuals in Athens at the time. They thought they were so smart. They made themselves feel better about themselves by leaning into intellectualism. In this way, their gods were subject to them because they had created them. Yes, they had gods to which they ascribed power, but these were gods their minds created. These gods needed the people of Athens to survive because they only existed in their minds.

But Paul points out the one that even their intuition has told them they haven’t figured out. The one that explains the unexplainable. The one they didn’t create and don’t know. It’s quite a beautiful story.

Last night, I saw a short video with an astrophysicist talking about the James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) and what it has shown us in less than 18 months of operation.

Astrophysicists have determined that, of course with no involvement of you at all, the universe in which we live is 13.8 billion years ago. But the JWST is showing us fully developed galaxies bigger than our own that were that big that long ago. So things must be much older than they thought. As one scientist put it, it’s upsetting the applecart. The faith they’ve put in their knowledge and the certainty they have that you are not necessary for any of this to happen astounds me. It seems to my limited mind that the “belief” they have in their theories requires even more faith than it takes for me to believe in you because you are the same yesterday, today, and forever, and the god of their own mind is constantly coming up short.

I guess I’m saying all of this because I am grateful that you are not unknown to me. I don’t understand you, to be sure, but I know you. I know you’re there. I know some of what you’ve done for me, although there is much I cannot see. I don’t know what you are doing or what you will do, but I trust you. I’ve seen enough evidence to know that it doesn’t have to all work out for me in order for me to know you are in control and working all things for your good. My role is to submit myself to you and let you use me as much as possible to enable your kingdom to come and your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven as much as possible.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, thank you. Thank you that you didn’t have to recalculate your understanding of the universe when the JWST discovered new data. Thank you that you are patient with us as we fumble around and try to prove how smart we are, all the while proving how little we know. Thank you for being patient with me as I struggle to make sense of my life in the midst of trying to let go of understanding it and simply loving you. Thank you for everything you mean to me. And now please prepare me as I head back to work tomorrow after my vacation. Help me to tie into you so that you will be my only God.

I pray all of this dependent upon your grace and in submission to your will,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 14, 2023 in Acts

 

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Reaping What You Sow and Weeding Your Field

13 May

Dear God, I’m going to take a couple of passages out of context: Galatians 6:7-8 and Matthew 13:24-30. Well, not really. Maybe I’m actually going to focus on the context for the verses because I read something this morning that I didn’t necessarily agree with, and I want to see if I am wrong. Or at least consider if I’m wrong or right–I don’t know that I can come up with a definitive answer.

I was reading a book called Soul Care by Rob Reimer, and he used the Galatians 6 passage to talk about himself and how he had been reaping what he had sown with his wife. He said he was praying one day through issues he was having with his wife and, separately, someone at work, and you said to him, “The law of the harvest.” The he heard, “A person reaps what they sow. You can blame Jen [his wife] if you want. You can blame Me if you want to. But you are standing in a field of weeds because you have been sowing weed seeds. You have been sowing seeds of anger and selfishness. If you want to stand in a field of fruitfulness, you have to sow new seeds.”

Yeah, on the surface this sounds good, but there are simply times when people do not reap what they sow. Sometimes they are great, loving people who experience rejection and hate. Sometimes they are difficult people who find themselves surrounded by forgiving and gracious people. In the Bible, Job comes to mind (his friends and his wife giving him a hard time). Manoah and his wife and the way Samson turned out. So it made me to go Galatians 6 just now to see what the context is for the passage. Here is what Paul said to the Galatians in chapter six, verses seven through nine: “Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.”

So what I’m seeing here is the overall field of my life and how it lines up with you, your peace, and eternity. So from Reimer’s perspective and what he’s saying for his particular set of situations, the whole reaping what you sow metaphor can be true, certainly. But I don’t think it has to be true. When it comes to human relationships, one needs to take responsibility for the hurts they’ve caused and not only apologize but also strive to make it better. But it also takes the other side to respond, and sometimes they aren’t prepared to or able to respond in kind.

In some cases, I think there are other factors that can drive the outcome of a relationship. That’s where the second passage comes in. If I think Reimer is taking Galatians 6 out of context, then perhaps I’m taking Matthew 13 out of context. First, the parable of the weeds in verses 24-30 is preceded by one of my favorite parables that I’ve been looking at lately, the parable of the Sower (the farmer scattering seeds that fall in four different types of soil). But verses 24-30 talks about the weeds that are planted when the farmer isn’t looking (with you being the farmer, Satan being the weed planter, and the evil people of the world being the weeds): Here is another story Jesus told: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field. But that night as the workers slept, his enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat, then slipped away. When the crop began to grow and produce grain, the weeds also grew. The farmer’s workers went to him and said, ‘Sir, the field where you planted that good seed is full of weeds! Where did they come from?’ ‘An enemy has done this!’ the farmer exclaimed. ‘Should we pull out the weeds?’ they asked. ‘No,’ he replied, ‘you’ll uproot the wheat if you do. Let both grow together until the harvest. Then I will tell the harvesters to sort out the weeds, tie them into bundles, and burn them, and to put the wheat in the barn.’”

The truth is, sometimes weeds get planted that we had nothing to do with. And sometimes there’s nothing we can do about them except pray to you that somehow healing will come.

Father, you know the hurts I’ve experienced and the hurts that I’ve caused. If I’ve caused hurt, reveal it to me and give me a legitimate chance to repent and make it as right as I can. For the things over which I have not control, help me to know how to respond to that as well. Give me serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Give me courage to change the things I can. And give me great wisdom and serenity to know the difference.

I pray all of this through the grace and mercy you offer me through the life, death, and resurrection of your son Jesus,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 13, 2023 in Galatians, Matthew

 

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The Fundamental List

12 May

Dear God, I was driving to visit a friend this morning, and I listened to this sermon by Andy Stanley. It’s part one of a series he’s doing called “The Fundamental List.” He’s basically breaking things down into what do Christians have to believe in order to be considered Christian vs. the things that we sometimes feel are important, but might be more open to interpretation. He started with Jesus talking with the disciples in Matthew 16. He asked what the word on the street was about him: “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” (Matthew 16:13 NLT) When they tell him that people think he is a prophet come back such as John the Baptist, Elijah, or Jeremiah, he turns the question more personal: “But who do you say I am?” That’s when Peter gives us our first fundamental: “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” (Matthew 16:16 NLT)

So what does that mean “if” it’s true. Now, I’m not questioning its veracity. Of course I believe it. But do I appreciate what that means? If the Jesus that is recorded in the New Testament is the Messiah, the Son of the living God, then I should really learn from his example. I should love richly, forgive easily, and be a discomfort to anyone who is legalistic and focusing on the “Non-Fundamental List (whatever that may be).

I have to say that my soul has felt a little unsettled the last couple of days. I’m not exactly sure why. I’ve been on vacation, and I think part of it might be that I’m just not great without much structure and I just did several days at the beach with no structure. I need days that are more intentional in some way. Perhaps these unstructured days are good for me in that they make me appreciate the structure and the day-to-day work when I get it back.

I also had an interesting visit with a friend today. Part of it was good and part of it was hard. He said some things to tell me that were hard to hear. On the one hand, I wanted to dismiss them because it was a hospital visit and he was heavily medicated, but on the other hand, he was unfiltered and I was trying to discern whether or not you were trying to tell me something through him. I cannot tell right now in this moment, but I pray that you will lead me to the answer over the next few days.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I cling to the fact that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of the living God. Without that, without his life, death, and resurrection I am wasting my time. I have nothing to offer you, but Jesus offered it for me. Now please lead me. Guide me. Use me. In the words of the praise song, “Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me. Break me. Melt me. Mold me. Fill me. Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.”

I pray all of this through your grace and in your name,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 12, 2023 in Matthew

 

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Acts 15:1

10 May

While Paul and Barnabas were at Antioch of Syria, some men from Judea arrived and began to teach the believers: “Unless you are circumcised as required by the law of Moses, you cannot be saved.”

Acts 15:1

Dear God, I was listening to a podcast yesterday about how our current American Evangelical perceptions of the rapture came to be. It turns out that this understanding is less than 200 years old, and, apparently, started with a layman from Ireland. I don’t want to get into that here or debate tribulation/rapture stuff. Mainly because I don’t care. But this passage made me think about it this morning because this is another example of people feeling like they need to have an opinion on something and then getting it wrong.

The truth is, we know and understand so little. Your ways are not our ways. Your logic is not our logic. Your understanding of the universe is so far beyond us they do not even resemble each other. We are small. You are God. At the end of the day, the answer to almost any theological question should be, “I don’t know.”

For example, right now there is a movement among some conservative Christians to put the 10 Commandments or “In God We Trust” up in schools, as if that will really turn people around. But only two of the 10 commandments are even against our human written laws (murder and theft–although in certain circumstances, you can be punished for lying too, but only in certain circumstances). These are mostly things that cannot be legislated. They must be embraced by the individual heart and then followed as a personal commitment/decision. They won’t be followed by just putting them up on a wall as a sign that is ignored. We will only follow them when we come to the end of ourselves, repent, take up our cross and follow you.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, please help me to simply pursue you and let your fruit from your Spirit grow from there. I don’t have to have all of the answers. Frankly, I have almost none of them. I can’t tell anyone how to be a father, husband, friend, or boss. All I can offer is pursuing you, telling people how I pursue you, and then letting your Spirit grow fruit in me that they will want for themselves. But it starts with my own decision to pursue you. To observe your commandments (and not just the top 10). But to think that I have the authoritative opinion on anything as it relates to you is complete hubris, because I am a foolish man in the hands of a forgiving and loving God. Thank you.

I pray all of this because you gave me a path through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, and it is in his name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 10, 2023 in Acts

 

“Hurt”

09 May

“Hurt” by Nine-Inch Nails [Johnny Cash]

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of s*** [thorns]
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I will keep myself
I would find a way

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Trent Reznor

Dear God, I watched the video above last night about the song “Hurt.” It was written by the lead man for Nine-Inch Nails, Trent Reznor, ironically before he fell into a deep and self-destructive pattern of addiction. It was almost a premonition of what was to come. About ten years after he wrote and recorded it, Johnny Cash covered it less than a year before his death.

You’ll notice I put one word in brackets above: thorns. That’s the word that changed it from a Nine-Inch Nails song to a Johnny Cash song. Reznor was writing in hopelessness. Of just wanting to let go from all of the destruction he had caused to himself and those around him. His empire of dirt had nothing to offer anyone. Hopeless. Helpless. Those are the words that keep coming to my mind over and over again when I think about Reznor’s version.

Cash’s version, however, is possibly more about what your gospel is about than anything–any other song. YOU can have it all. Reznor is talking to the unknown “you.” The “you” who is the audience. Cash is talking to YOU.

My wife and I just watched the series “Daisy Jones and the Six,” which is based on a bestselling book my wife loves. In it, I saw a lot of empire of nothing. I saw a lot of emptiness and destruction. Self-destruction. Even one character’s sobriety was about abstaining from substances, not healing and finding healthy ways to go through life.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit. thank you for taking all of my…well, my empire of dirt. Thank you for hurting for me. Thank you for the hope that Cash had when he died. I’m sure he still had doubts in his heart that you could love him like he wanted to be loved. I pray that Mr. Reznor might know that hope. I pray that you will help me to share that hope with others. Yes, I will die one day. Yes, I will leave behind assets to my wife or divided among my children (should I outlive her). But it’s all a pile of dirt. There is a lot of pain mixed up in all of that. There is a lot of sin. There is a lot of selfishness. But you have set me free from it. As I sit here right now, I can sit here in peace. I can sit here knowing that shame doesn’t have to have a place in my life because of the crown of thorns you endured. Because of the nails. Because you cared. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I pray all of this through the power of this amazing gift from you,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 9, 2023 in Hymns and Songs

 

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