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Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Pastoral Identity – Ability

04 Feb

Dear God, I’ve decided to spend each day going through the four areas of Pastoral Identity listed in the Community of Hope curriculum that I’m teaching on Tuesday night: Attitude, Ability, Authority, and Accountability. Yesterday, I did Attitude. Today, I am up to Ability.

Here is what I have in my PowerPoint slides regarding Ability:

  • Ability means developing and practicing the skills for caring.
    • Listening attentively.
    • Setting aside your own prejudices to be accepting and non-judgmental.
    • Using wisdom to know what to say or not to say in return.
  • Your starting point is authenticity and humility. Then you actively live it out.
    • You must die to any need you have to be affirmed or appreciated.
  • Your commitments.
    • Start and continue the process of self-discovery.
      • How have you related to God?
      • How have you interpreted God’s presence?
      • How have you dealt with your fear and pain?
      • How have you related to others?
      • How have your painful experiences changed you?
  • Learn Pastoral Skills that done come naturally.
    • Listening without trying to fix.
    • Listening without telling your own story.
    • Listening without passing judgment or correcting the other person’s theology.
    • Sitting beside the person, trusting God’s presence to be there with and through you, even when there are no answers to fix the situation.

You know, it’s hard to remember all of this at any given time, but I think it simply comes down to a spirit of humility (going back to Attitude). “As I sit here with you and minister to you, I am actively dying to any need within myself to look good in your eyes.” If I cannot do that then I cannot listen without trying to fix (here, let me give you my solution and have you be impressed with me), listen without telling my own story (here, let me tell you about my suffering so you can feel sorry for me and/or be impressed with how I came through it), listen without passing judgment or correcting the other person’s theology (here, let me show you how you are wrong and what you did wrong), and sit beside the person and trust that your presence will be there to comfort, even when there are no answers to fix the situation (here, let me insert my solution and wisdom here instead of allowing you to work this out with God).

I have been trying to walk this line with someone lately, and it has been hard. I care so much. I see problems that scare me. And I feel some amount of responsibility to help this person because I’m not sure they see some of the dangers ahead. At the same time, I know that this person will not accept my solutions, nor should they without coming to a point where they are actively seeking your will for their life and discerning what you have next for them.

Father, help me to embody your pastoral presence in ever situation. Whether it be with friends, coworkers, family members, or simply people in the community with whom I interact. Help me to decrease so that you might increase. If I am telling my own story in a humble way, which I think is important for all of us to be willing to do, help me to do it in a way that is dead to my own ego and how I hope it will affect what others think about me.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 4, 2018 in Miscellaneous, Pastoral Identity

 

Pastoral Identity – Attitude

03 Feb

Dear God, I am supposed to give a talk to a church group on Tuesday night, but it isn’t about the work we do at our nonprofit. Several years ago, a man asked me to come and teach his “Community of Hope” class about the topic of Pastoral Identity. Frankly, the first time I read the materials from which they wanted me to teach, I was overwhelmed by their vocabulary and depth. To put it bluntly, I didn’t understand them. So I took each paragraph and tried to make an outline of it. Then I turned that outline into a PowerPoint presentation. It ended up working pretty well, but now I am supposed to give it again, and I feel like I’m at square one.

I opened the PowerPoint this morning and I found these words: Pastoral Identity is the deep understanding that Jesus lives, breathes, and ministers to others through you. The it lists four aspects of Pastoral Identity: Attitude, Ability, Authority, and Accountability. It’s the slide about Attitude that I want to pray through this morning. Here are the bullet points under Attitude.

  • Willingness to see ourselves objectively and acknowledge God’s grace in our own stories.
    • We will only be able to see ourselves objectively if we receive God’s grace for our failures.
    • Coming to terms with our weaknesses helps us have compassion for others and connect to them.
    • The suffering in our own lives (past and present) helps us connect with those in difficulty.
  • The first trick is to have an Attitude of being honest with ourselves about our weaknesses.
  • What role does fear play in how you or someone else is struggling through a trial?
    • Be careful to not use denial to avoid fear.
  • Walking with someone through their trial requires you to be humble, honest and tender.
    • You cannot take away or fix the situation. Your role is to simply be there.

Oh my! That is pretty good stuff. I cannot minister until I have dealt with my own stuff. I certainly have my failings–too many to enumerate. But your grace released me from the guilt from those failings. you took a knife to the knot in the rope that ties you and me together in our relationship with Jesus’ death and bridged it back through His resurrection. Freedom! I have freedom, and it came through my being willing to let go.

When I pray for others, whether it is friends, family, or my children, if I know they do not have a relationship with you, one of the things I always pray for is that they will be able to let go. Let go of the pain they are hiding and holding on to. Let go of their shame. There is so much freedom to be had, and they just don’t know it.

I guess I’ll close with this. It’s the chorus of a song by Dennis Jernigan called “Song of Hope.” It works for not only non-Christians, but also for Christians who are holding on to their secrets and their shame:

And I wish I could take you heart into my heart
I wish I could show you just how good it feels to let go
Of the things you know are killing you
And cling to the only one who can heal
But I know if I did then it wouldn’t be you
Cuz you, you’re the only one choosing for you, it’s true

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 3, 2018 in Miscellaneous, Pastoral Identity

 

Prayer Requests

02 Feb

No verse.

Dear God, none of my usual sources of scripture were really inspiring me this morning, so I thought I would just pray—pray what’s on my heart.

I normally pray for specific individuals separately from this journal, but praying for them is what is what’s on my mind this morning.

  • I’m thinking of the Rotarian friend who is in the hospital in San Antonio. I am asking for healing for him and strength to endure for both him and his wife.
  • I’m thinking of my neighbor next door who lost her husband. I’m asking you there for her comfort and provision. Help her to reach out and receive comfort from her family and friends.
  • I’m thinking of the volunteer at work who is just out of the nursing home. Please give her strength and wholeness. Give her wisdom about what to do regarding her living situation and her children who live far away.
  • I’m thinking about my coworker whose spouse is sick and undergoing tests today. Give them a good report and use this scare to bring glory to your name through their lives. Give them healing. They have both been through a lot with extended family. Perhaps you can use this as a bonding agent for them so that this pain and fear will count for your glory and not be wasted.
  • I’m thinking about the relatives who are divorcing. I ask you for your healing in each of the spouse’s lives. There is so much water under the bridge and there are so many wrongs done that there is no way either of them can untie the knot of hatred and hurt feelings. Please help both of them to extend some of your grace to the other so that you might ultimately give them both the lives you have for them.
  • And for their children, to some extent I’ve been where they are. Please raise up people around them who will be your hands and feet for them. Love them well. Help them to heal and have whole relationships with both parents. Protect their hearts and lead them into a life ordained by you.
  • I have a relative who is having a mildly significant medical procedure today. Please take good care of her. Give her peace. Give her doctor great skill and minimize her pain.
  • I have a relative who is figuring out some decisions he needs to make for the future. Give him your wisdom, discernment, and joy. Help him to feel the love that his family has for him.

There are more, but I think I’ll stop here with these except to ask that, Father, please help me to be exactly what you need me to be today for your glory’s sake. Give me energy, vision, and motivation, and do it all in a way that I will decrease and you will increase through me. You are my God, and I am grateful for you and the opportunity Jesus’ redemption affords me to be here this morning.

I pray all of this through His name,

Amen

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2018 in Miscellaneous

 

Substance Abuse

20 Jan

No verse

Dear God, I was perusing some headlines this morning when I woke up and I saw that Tom Petty died of a drug overdose. I clicked it and found a pretty good list of drugs in his system. Frankly, it made me wonder whatever happened to medical privacy. When it comes to death, is it more important that the public know that a death wasn’t homicide so they tell us everything? It seemed like an invasion of his privacy that I should be allowed to read details from his autopsy report.

I guess the reason I’m really talking about this with you now is that substance abuse seems to be impacting our society more and more. I have a lot of opinions about this, but they are largely uninformed or only partially informed so I’m not going to pray to you about them here. But I guess what I do want to pray about is healing for my world, country, state, community, friends, and family in this area. Yesterday, a coworker had to deal with a nephew who was busted for drugs at school and through it they were able to find a pretty significant dealer. I have family member whom, at a minimum, I know abuse alcohol. The clinic where I work has patients who abuse a myriad of substances. When I think about it (and I know there are plenty of Christians who abuse substances) I wonder how many of these people reject the idea of you as their God and embracing a life of submission to you, but go right ahead and try to fill that hole on their heart through the escapism of substances.

Father, show me the role you have for me to play in our community and my family. Maybe it’s just praying for people. Maybe it’s addressing it head on. Maybe it’s creating a new program at work to deal with it. I don’t know, but I do know that it’s destroying our society in too many ways to be ignored. Lord, help us.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2018 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Appropriate Vulnerability

14 Jan

No verse

Dear God, what will you have for me today? Of what I heard yesterday at this retreat, my favorite part was when the guy telling his story mentioned the letters we all get from friends at Christmas talking about their perfect lives. As he mentioned it in a snide tone, everyone, including me, laughed. In fact, he probably got the biggest laugh of the weekend so far with that. There was truth there and we all knew it.

It left me wondering how to communicate truthfully with people while still respecting my family’s privacy. Is there a way to let my distant friends and family, those whom I don’t see but every few years, know that they are not alone? That, if nothing else, at least the Fredericksburg Willomes can relate to any struggles they might have? That we are not to be revered because of our perfection, but approached for the love and acceptance we can offer?

Father, help me to be an instrument of your peace and encouragement. Help me to be appropriately vulnerable with others. Help me to be the husband and father I need to be. And help me to be the best worshipper of you that I can.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2018 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Fred’s Blog – The Impossible Will of God

11 Jan

“Who doesn’t want to know the will of God? As a young man, that topic occupied me as much as any other. I recall reading Alan Redpath’s guidance that discerning the will of God is done best by aligning the lights of three beacons. First is circumstances. Second is the truth of Scripture. Last, the counsel of wise friends. If those line up there is good reason to believe you are in the will of God and your decision, while not guaranteed, will more likely be the right one.

“But, I have discovered over the course of my life that discerning the will of God is not always that clean and neat. In fact, there are times when the will of God seems to go against all three guides. There are moments when God asks for the unimaginable that contradicts our understanding of Scripture, only confuses our circumstances and flies in the face of our trusted friends.”

Fred Smith, Excerpt from “The Impossible Will of God”

Dear God, I read the first paragraph of this friend’s blog post this morning and thought, “Oh, I totally disagree with that!” And then I saw his second paragraph. YES! “There are times when [your] will asks for the unimaginable that contradicts [my] understanding of Scripture, only confuses [my] circumstances and flies in the face of [my] trusted friends.” YES!

I have a relative right now who is really facing some trials. I know my advice to her, but is it the right advice? How do I really know? I’m using my logic and wisdom, but, in the end, I am a fool and my knowledge and perspective are limited. I would hate to steer her wrong.

In thinking about this first paragraph (and granted, Redpath says, “not guaranteed,” so he has some cover here), I am left to consider Job and his friends. I don’t know if he had Scripture to review, but he was certainly seeking your wisdom, he was seeking his friends’ counsel. He just couldn’t make his spiritual wisdom and his friends’ counsel match up with his circumstances.

Father, there is almost too much here for a prayer to you this morning. It’s worth an essay at a minimum. So let me just say that I agree with my friend’s blog. I pray that you will speak to me through my friends, my circumstances, and through scripture, but I also pray that you will give me peace in my trials, teach me, bring me to repentance when I need to, and speak to me in your still small voice that says, John, what are you doing here?

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 11, 2018 in Miscellaneous, Uncategorized

 

Fred’s Blog – Dollars & Scents

28 Dec

Fred’s Blog – Dollars & Scents

 

Dear God, there are several aspects to our lives as we work out our faith with fear and trembling. Time in scripture and prayer. Laying our sin before God and repenting. Serving others. Sharing our resources (time, talent, and treasure). I read this blog post this morning while I was still lying in bed. In the end, it made the point that when we hold back from you it starts to stink up our lives a bit: “Sometimes people wrestle with how much is enough and my answer is not ‘give until it hurts’ but give until the smell goes away. Give until you cannot detect anything dead in your life coming from a decision to hold back.” I think that statement not only applies to our money, but also to the other areas I mentioned above (and I’m sure there are some areas that I missed).

 

I’ve told you before that one of my favorite passages is Galatians 5:22-23, a.k.a. The Fruits of the Spirit. From memory they are love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, and self control—against such things there is no law. I’ve also told you that I can fake most of these and make people think I have your fruit. I can fake love. I can fake joy. I can fake patience, gentleness, kindness, and self-control. I can will myself to do all of these things. What I can’t fake is peace. I think peace, or lack thereof, is the “smell” Fred is talking about here. I can always tell if there is something I’m not doing well if I an not experiencing your peace.

 

There have been times in my life when I have gone through difficult trials. Sometimes in those trials, I did not feel peace, but sometimes I did. What was the difference? Was it the circumstance? Had it changed? No, it was that I had gotten myself aligned with the Holy Spirit, and not only was I able to exhibit love, joy, patience, gentleness, faithfulness, kindness, and self-control, but I was also able to experience peace.

 

Father, help me to stay in the center of your will. Help my children to seek you and your will. Help me to husband my wife the way you need me to. Help me to know how to love my extended relatives, friends, and community in the way you need me to. Increase in my life and help me to decrease. Be glorified in me so that all around me will be drawn to you through the fruits of the Spirit that flow from me.

 

In Jesus’ name I pray,

 

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2017 in Miscellaneous, Uncategorized

 

Chances to Love

22 Dec

Dynamic Catholic Advent Devotion of the Day

Dear God, I am going to have several opportunities to love others today. I will get to write letters that will show love. I get to talk to one of my closest friends and show him love. I get to ring a bell for The Salvation Army and show love to everyone who walks by me. I get to go to a funeral for a friend’s mother and show that friend and her family love. I get to show my daughter love. I get to show my wife love. That’s a lot of opportunity. Will I take advantage of it, or will I let it go by and need more love from these people than I give?

That can be the problem that I hope I’m getting better about–being a needy person. One of the weaknesses I’ve had to confront over the last 20 years is my own insecurity and need for accolades, love and affection. When I was first married, that neediness was very fatiguing for my wife. I was a pit of seemingly endless need. But as I’ve grown closer to you, as you have matured me and healed my soul, I have been able to need less and learned to just offer my presence to someone without feeling the “need” to get something back in exchange for my effort.

Father, make me what you need me to be today. Love freely through me. Give freely through me. Be glorified through me. If possible, use me to heal hearts, souls, minds, and bodies for your glory’s sake.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 22, 2017 in Miscellaneous

 

Just an open prayer

21 Dec

Dear God, I looked at some of my traditional sources for scripture on which I could meditate today and nothing was really hitting me. My soul is a little unsettled this morning. Why? On paper, everything in my life looks really good. And yet I find myself with a sinking feeling. Is it the upcoming Christmas week? Is it the week off that I’ll have between Christmas and New Year’s Day? Is it visiting with loved ones and trying to avoid any minefields that are out there?

Maybe I should go with the prayer that the woman left as a request at our Center yesterday. In it she asked for prayer for her children. She wanted their peace, safety, and happiness. She asked for a successful and easy pregnancy. She asked for a safe place to live. She asked for a good foundation in life. How many of us have those same desires for our children and ourselves. Her prayer is my prayer, and I join her in asking you to answer it in your wisdom for her and for those I live.

Father, it feels like I’m rambling a little here, but at the end of the day I just want you to be a part of my life. I want you to be my motivation, my rock, my redeemer, my provider, my defender, my guide, and my savior. I want you to be that for every person I love as well. I want you to be that for the world. So glorify yourself. Lead our world and national leaders. Guide their hearts. Love them. Help them to humbly submit themselves to you and listen to your Holy Spirit. Please do the same for our state and local leaders, those elected and non-elected. And help me to know the place you have for me in my family, my community, and my world.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 21, 2017 in Miscellaneous, Uncategorized

 

God the Father, my father, and me as a father

08 Dec

A Father’s Hope

Dear God, I just watched a video (link above) from a Catholic Advent series that a friend encouraged me to use this Advent season. Surprisingly, it hasn’t been as focused on Advent as it has spiritual growth and discipleship. I’ve liked that better.

Today’s video was about the names we have for you when we pray to you. Like the speaker, I usually refer to you as Father. The speaker talked about parallels between your attitude towards us and our attitude towards our own children. Of course, this made me think about a lot of things from the past and present.

I remember after my son was born and his first few years. I was struck by how easy it was to discipline him when he did something wrong or made a bad decision and then move on and forgive him. I probably even journaled to you at the time that it gave me a new perspective on how you see me. I wasn’t nearly the unforgivable wretch that I sometimes felt I was. Through the power of Jesus’ sacrifice (Hebrews 10:14), I am easily forgiven by a perfectly holy God. You are eager for my repentance and eager to move me forward.

This video also made me think of some of the best men’s retreats I’ve ever attended. There were a series of them out at Laity Lodge where they had men get up and tell their story from the perspective of You as our Father, our earthly father, and us as a father. Those were some great experiences as we started to get a glimpse of how we might actually be made in your image after all.

Father, help me to know how to embrace all that you are as my father, and help me to be the father you know my children need me to be. Give me exactly what I need to continue to draw closer to the center of your presence, and give my children exactly what you need them to have from me. Don’t let me get in the way of your plans for them with my own impetuousness, insecurity, or foolishness.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on December 8, 2017 in Miscellaneous, My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day

 
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