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Category Archives: Miscellaneous

“Empty Chairs and Empty Tables” by Fred Smith

05 Mar

Dear God, I was reading Fred Smith’s weekly blog this morning and I thought I’d spend some time with it. He titled it, “Empty Chairs and Empty Tables.”

It’s interesting to me that my perspective changes so much as I age. I knew so much when I was 16. When I was 25, I saw how much I didn’t know when I was 16. I was older and wiser by then. Then at 35 I got my first job as the top leader of an organization. I felt very ready for that moment. I was married with two children (who were 9 and 6 at the time). Life was good and I was doing it right. Yes, I was much smarter. Now, being 50 and looking back I can see how naive I was. I had a lot to learn. I was arrogant about what I thought I could control and what I couldn’t control. I can’t believe I was 35 when they hired me to do the job I am doing now. One day, when I’m 60, I’ll look back at 50 and see it as being young. The same of 75…85. You get the point.

Fred mentioned in his piece that he spent a lot of his time trying to influence people how to live their lives: “I even started a few projects inside. File I kept in my office labeled “Get Out Of Town” where I encouraged kids to leave and start life elsewhere. Experience a wider world! Escape the pull of gravity and tradition!” That concept kind of hits something I’ve been learning more and more lately. I don’t even know what I should be doing from one day to the next. I certainly don’t know what my children should be doing—much less people who aren’t even my children.

I suppose my big lesson in all of this is to simply be a conduit of pointing people to you and then letting you direct their path. I wouldn’t have know what was best for Ruth and Naomi. I wouldn’t have known what was best for Mary and Joseph. Like I said, I can’t even really tell you what is best for my wife and me. But I have faith that, even if I screw something up and get outside of your will, my pursuit of you will enable you to redeem whatever mistakes I make and still accomplish your plans either through or in spite of me.

Father, if life is like a mountain that must be climbed, I have a better perspective on it from this elevation that I did 10 years ago. I expect I’ll have a better view of it in 10 years than I do now. It’s not about me being right. It’s not about me being wrong. It’s just about me being yours today. Help me to be yours today and work around my foolishness.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2020 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (Selected Study Guide Questions)

19 Jan

Dear God, as I finalize what I’m going to do with this home church tonight, I thought I would go through the Sacred Marriage study guide that’s available free online and answer some of the questions for not only myself, but also you.

What has your marriage revealed to you about your sinful attitudes, selfish behaviors, and other character flaws? Why do you think marriage brings so many character issues to the surface?

  • I’ve talked ad nauseum about my neediness that you helped to mostly (not completely) purge from me through marriage. This is what comes to mind first. The change in paradigm to look to you for my wholeness and not to my wife. Well, I don’t know that you used my wife to teach me that, but, thankfully, you taught me that before my neediness destroyed my marriage.
  • I’ve talked about losing some of my selfishness in the interest of serving her and serving my children (without expecting anything in return–that’s important).
  • One of the things my wife, in particular, has taught me is how to appreciate the arts more. Musical theater. Poetry. She is a deep thinker and a very intelligent woman. I used to be very dismissive of the arts, and it was foolish of me.
  • She has modeled forgiveness to me. Not only how she forgives me, but also how she forgives others.
  • She challenges me spiritually by her example of pursuing you. There have been times when I haven’t pursued you like I should, but she has always been an example of steady perseverance.
  • Her self-discipline is quite remarkable and an example to me.

I could go on an on, but I better get to the next question.

How can a discouraged spouse directly apply the admonition to seek God in the midst of disappointments rather than to obsess over where the spouse falls short?

This is obviously the crux of the entire book. The ideal situation is when each spouse pursues a selfless attitude towards their mate. In that situation, one would likely naturally find their needs being met. But when it’s a one-way street, what is someone to do?

The thing I love about this book is that if someone reads it and says, “Boy, my husband/wife needs to read this,” then they’ve missed the point. For millennia people have been in unequally yoked marriages. Outside of an emotionally/physically abusive relationship (which needs intervention and more drastic measures), the answer is that your selfless loving actions will ultimately bring Jesus into your home and to your spouse, and there is a good chance that it evolve a change in your spouse. They will see Jesus in you (and the love, joy, peace, patients, etc.) present in you and then be more likely to respond positively. As opposed to the nagging, preachy spouse that becomes an obstacle to change.

How much time do you spend thinking about how to make your spouse happy, compared to the amount of time you spend thinking about how well your spouse is pleasing you? Do you think your answer is about right, or do you need to do better in this area?

Well, now that I’ve lived with these concepts for nearly 20 years, I think I am fairly close to a good balance. For the most part, I spend more time thinking about blessing her without looking for my benefits. Again, it goes back to loving. And I guess I should put this here because it needs to be said somewhere. My wife does NOT nag me. I weighed over 300 lbs. at one point, and in over 30 years together she has never said one word to me about my weight. She has never suggested I am not attractive to her. It’s a blessing she has given to me that I hope I am getting better about returning to her.

How is any lack of respect or active contempt for your spouse negatively affecting your own life and the lives of your children?

Some questions just shouldn’t be answered out loud. This is one that shouldn’t be answered in a group, but needs to be contemplated. I know my wife and I have tried to show each other respect behind the other’s back, especially with our children. We do our best to not be critical of the other to our parents, our siblings, or our children. I’ve witnessed this kind of negativity. We both have, and it is toxic to everyone involved. This one is a really big deal. No, if we are going over these questions tonight, this is one that needs to just soak in and fester.

How do you want people to describe your marriage at your golden wedding anniversary?

Oh, boy! I’ve always said that I’d love for it to be said of me that I never had a negative things to say about anyone. It won’t be said of me, but I’d love for it to be said of me. For my marriage, I’d love for people to say that they always felt welcome around us. I would want them to reflect on us and see us a serving others and that we lived harmonious lives with each other, yielding to the other whenever possible.

Do you and your mate face the difficulties in your marriage differently? What can you learn from your spouse’s approach? What can your spouse learn from your approach?

YES! Oh, did I say that too loud? I’m not going to say what she can learn from my approach because I have learned so much from hers. Some difficulties we have faced include:

  • Extended unemployment
  • Parenting struggles
  • Relationships with extended family

My approach is usually to be straight ahead confrontational. Hers is to take a beat and see if there is a more loving, less confrontational way to handle it. What I’ve learned from her is to take my desire to confront and package it in a way that enables me to deliver it lovingly. Again, I’m not perfect at it, but I’m better than I was.

The unemployment was a little different. In that case, there was a lot of uncertainty and praying to you. There was also, seemingly, a lot of silence from you. Having her there kept me accountable for moving forward. I can see where I would easily have slipped into a depression if I wouldn’t have had the responsibility of her and my children to keep me going and persevering.

Is there a “file cabinet” in your marriage’s “confessional”? What do you have to do to forgive your spouse and get rid of the filing cabinet?

There is one thing that my wife did that still brings me pain when I think about it. I don’t think about it often, but it really hurts when I do. And she has told me how sorry she is for it. And it happened over seven years ago so you would think that it would be gone. Why have I held onto it? Maybe it’s ego. Hmm. Good question. What do I have to do to forgive her and get rid of that thing? I think it might come down to dying to the part of my ego and pride that were hurt by it. Father, help me to stop thinking that I was too “good” for that to happen to.

How can a husband and wife more consciously invite the presence of God into their marriage?

About the best thing that we do is pray together almost every morning. She also knows when I am having my private prayer time, and I know when she is either having hers or going to the chapel. I think that knowledge is a good affirmation for each of us. Of course, we worship together most Sundays. I think that is important. We are part of a couples group at our church which has been very positive as well. And we talk about what we might be learning at any given time through our personal faith walks. I think one of the big things is that we give each other the freedom to pursue you in our own way, and we approach you very differently.

Consider the effects that these stages of family life can have on ministry:

  • newly married, without children
  • married with toddlers
  • raising teenagers
  • empty nesters

What are the advantages and challenges of each phase of life as it relates to living out your ministry calling?

Maybe I should have started with this question because now that I’m at the “empty nester” stage, I can look back and see all kinds of lessons you taught me along the way. It’s too much to go into here, but each phase has helped to break me, melt me, and mold me. And hopefully with each lesson, I’ve been able to provide you with a vessel that you can fill.

Father, thank you for my marriage. Thank you that you have really changed me for the better through my wife. I pray (literally) that I’ve done the same for her. Help me to be exactly what you need me to be tonight. I’m probably walking into dangerous territory. Let your Holy Spirit be there and help us all to approach our marriages and you in a humble way.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2020 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Uncategorized

 

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My Father-In-Law

18 Jan

Dear God, a couple of days ago, I prayed to you about Gary Thomas’s book Sacred Marriage. This morning, while I was eating breakfast, I listed to a talk he gave seven or eight years ago (link above). I don’t mean for these prayer journals to become a sales pitch for Gary, but his stuff is really good.

The title of this prayer to you is NOT about my wife’s physical father who happens to live next door to me. No, it’s about you. At about the 29-minute mark of this talk, Thomas said something that really struck a chord with me. YOU are my Father-in-law because YOU are my wife’s father. Thomas said:

If there was a guy who came up to me and said, “Gary, I’m going to give you 10% of my income. I going to memorize your books. I’m going to tell others about you. I’m going to try to get everybody to by your book. But he’s abusing my daughter? He’s neglecting my daughter? I’m going to have one conversation with him and one thing only: ‘Hey, buddy, if you respect me, you take care of my little girl. I have nothing else to say to you.'”

Wow. Conviction. How am I doing? Unlike my earthly father-in-law, who is only next door, you see EVERYTHING I do. You see every inkling of disrespect I give her. You see every little thing I might want to hide from her such as something I want to purchase or even lust. You see any shortness of temper I have. You see how I talk about her to others when she is in the room and when she’s not.

How about my children. I suppose they are your children too. In a way, I am a step-father caring for them on your behalf. How am I doing with your children?

Expand it out. Everyone I meet today is your child. How am I treating your children? Some of them are young. Some are old. Some are wealthy. Some are poor. Some are struggling. All are your children. How will I treat your children today? Will I see them with your eyes and act accordingly?

Father, I am your child too. Thank you. I love you. And I’m really sorry for any failings I might have as a husband to your daughter, a parent to your children, a son to your children, a brother to your children, a friend to your children, and a fellow citizen to your children. Help me to be about loving you by loving all of them as you would have me to.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2020 in Miscellaneous

 

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Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

16 Jan

Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy more that to Make us Happy? By Gary Thomas

Dear God, I am speaking to a home church this weekend and as I prayed to you and talked to you about what you would have me discuss, this book that I read nearly 20 years ago kept coming to mind. It is the best marriage book I’ve ever read, and its lessons have stuck with me through the years. However, as I’ve sat down a few times over the last few days to try to collect my thoughts and synthesize the message of this book into a lesson, I’ve struggled. There’s so much here. I could almost do a lesson on each chapter. Ultimately, I decided that the best thing to do was to sit down and just talk with you about what it was about this book that meant so much to me 20 years ago.

I think it starts with me being a very needy husband for the first 10-ish years of our marriage. I have two dogs right now, and one of them is very needy. She’s always looking for attention from anyone who will love her. She annoys the heck out of me. I think this is how I was when I got married. I came into marriage very insecure. I grew up witnessing a fairly tumultuous marriage, and I didn’t want to give my wife (and ultimately, my children after they were born) any excuse to not love me or like me. To add to that, I needed that love affirmed all of the time.

My best example is my wife’s first Mother’s Day after our son was born. I did everything for her that day. He was about 10 months old, and I took care of him all day. I made her breakfast in bed. I did everything around the house. I did it all! Later, she told me that all she could think about was how she could never live up to what I had done when Father’s Day came a month later. I wasn’t giving freely out of love for her, and she could tell. I was being needy and giving so that I could receive. That kind of love was very oppressive to her.

One of the first lessons I had to learn was to give her the freedom to feel about me any way that she wished. It was her right to like me or not. I order to do that, I had to find my peace in something else. Yeah, I guess peace is the best word. What is it that we are looking for when we are being needy? When our hearts are unsettled and in search of something? The answer: Peace. When I look for my peace in anything but you (money, sex, wife, fun, job, etc.) that object or activity becomes my idol. Thank you that I ultimately didn’t have to do with my marriage what you almost made Abraham do with his idol, Isaac.

So now that my wife had the freedom from me to like/love me at her own discretion, I needed a new paradigm for my marriage. Providentially, Thomas’s thoughts on marriage came to me just at the right time. If the book came out in 2000, then we probably went to the marriage conference he did in Waco in maybe 2000 or 2001. Just after I started doing the regular prayer journals to you in April 2000.

So what are some of the concepts in this book? Well, the subtitle alone is practically all you need: What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? It starts by exposing the lie that undergirds the prosperity gospel message that I deserve to be happy. He’s careful to say that holiness and happiness are not mutually exclusive concepts, but if you pursue happiness through your marriage then you have the wrong frame of mind. “You wont find happiness at the end of a road named selfishness.” (Page 12) Here’s another quote: “Just as celibates use abstinence and religious hermits use isolation, so we can use marriage for the same purpose–to grow in our service, obedience, character, pursuit, and love of God.” (Page 12)

These two quotes, taken to their logical conclusions, give you these chapter titles:

  1. The Greatest Challenge in the World: A Call to Holiness more than Happiness

  2. Romanticism’s Ruse: How Marriage Points us to True Fulfillment

  3. Finding God in Marriage: Marital Analogies Teach Us Truths about God

  4. Learning to Love: How Marriage Teaches Us to Love

  5. Holy Honor: Marriage Teaches Us to Respect Others

  6. The Soul’s Embrace: Good Marriage Can Foster Good Prayer

  7. The Cleansing of Marriage: How Marriage Exposes our Sin

  8. Sacred History: Building the Spiritual Discipline of Perseverance

  9. Sacred Struggle: Embracing Difficulty in Order to Build Character

  10. Falling Forward: Marriage Teaches Us to Forgive

  11. Make Me a Servant: Marriage Can Build in Us a Servant’s Heart

  12. Sexual Saints: Marital Sexuality Can Provide Spiritual Insights and Character Development

  13. Sacred Presence: How Marriage Can Make us more Aware of God’s Presence

  14. Sacred Mission: Marriage Can Develop our Spiritual Calling, Mission, and Purpose

  15. Epilogue: The Holy Couple

It’s ween a while since I read some of these chapters. Nearly 20 years. But each chapter title alone is enough to spark my thoughts. When I was in high school, I asked my dad one time what benefit any parent gets from parenting. Why would someone want to do it. His answer was interesting. Paraphrasing, “The adults I know with no children tend to be some of the most selfish, self-centered people I know because they never had to learn to put someone else’s needs above their own.” Thinking about that concept, I think marriage is supposed to be a building block towards selfLESSness too.

I’ve known my wife for over 30 years, and we are coming up on 28 years of marriage. It’s unbelievable when I look back on how you have used her and our relationship to shape me. You did the same with our children. And you’ve done the same with jobs, friends, church experiences, extended family, etc. But my ability to grow beyond serving my wife out of need and into serving her in love transformed me into being less needy in the other areas of my life too. I am a less needy employee. I am a less needy father. Now I’m not perfect, and there are still times when self-pity comes crashing in on me and I feel the pain of rejection. But I don’t think I would even be able to recognize those failures in myself if I didn’t start by turning loose of my neediness in marriage.

Thankfully, Thomas’ theory worked in my case. His theory is that if both spouses are committed to this selfLESS pursuit of God through marriage then each will find that you are meeting a lot of their needs through the other. Since my wife has embraced this same attitude in our marriage then a terrific balance is created. I honestly don’t know what it would be like to live in a marriage where only one spouse lived this way and the other didn’t. I suppose I could ask my wife because I think she was closer to it those first few years of marriage than I was. But, ultimately, the spouse that pursues you and holiness through their marriage will even be able to be at peace in an unbalanced marriage. To be clear, there are unhealthy situations such as physical or emotional abuse that should not be tolerated, but a simple shift of focus off of myself and onto serving my wife through my pursuit of you in an incredibly liberating thing.

One last thing–the idea of the pursuit of happiness (and I’m still learning to truly live what I’m about to say). I reject the idea that my life and your purpose for my life must be about my happiness. There are some happinesses in life that are denied to me. That’s okay. There were generations of Israelites that were born into slavery, lived in slavery and died in slavery. One result of that is that you built a nation through those years in Egypt. The widow Jesus saw put two coins in the offering went home and likely died as poor as she was when she woke up that morning, but she likely never knew that I would know about her and use her as an example 2,000 years later. Some people do everything right with their children and it still goes wrong. Some people are excellent employees/workers and still go broke. And some are in one-way marriages. The idea that any of these people are not living their best lives because they are experiencing pain is foolish. I don’t know why some of this stuff happens, but mine is not to know why. Mine is to love and worship you, and to do my best with those people and responsibilities you have given to me. The results of all of that are not mine, they are yours. Of course, now that I’ve said those thoughtful, deep things, Father, I pray that you help men to truly live it.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2020 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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When People Let You Down

23 Nov

Dear God, being a Baylor fan, it’s been hard over the last four or five years to know whom I should like and whom I shouldn’t. There’s been scandal and I’ve heard conflicting information from various sources. Some have said that one football coach was to blame. Others have blamed the coach, the school president and the athletic director (AD). Some say the board of regents threw the other three under the bus, but the fault lies with them. They haven’t made it easy to be a Baylor fan.

So three years ago, the school hired a new president, AD, and coach. I think I like all three of them, but I have admittedly guarded my heart against them and tried to remain skeptical–especially of the coach. And the coach has made it hard because, even when he went 1-11 in his first year, he sure says things that I like and seems like someone I can trust.

Last Saturday morning, I found the video I linked above. It’s a 20-minute video of the coach speaking at a men’s conference after his first season (1-11) at Baylor. It was strikingly good and seemingly authentic. It spoke to me on a personal level, but it also pushed me closer to allowing myself to trust in him a little more.

Why am I praying to you about this this morning? Well, I woke up thinking about what appropriate trust in others looks like and how we should respond to their failings. When I give this coach, this AD, and/or this president my trust, what am I giving them?

  • I’m willing to donate to the athletic department, trusting that they will use the scholarship money to develop a young person and give them opportunities they wouldn’t otherwise have.
  • I’m willing to cheer and applaud for the team(s), trusting that they are people worthy of my applause.
  • I’m willing to travel to see them play, trusting that they are worth the time I’m giving to cheering them on, win or lose.
  • I’m willing to show my support for them through the clothes I wear, stickers I put on my car, and the flag I hang on my house, trusting that they aren’t doing things of which I would be ashamed. For example, I threw away my Big 12 Championship t-shirt when the scandal broke a few years ago because I just couldn’t wear it anymore.

Of course, the danger is always putting my trust in people and not in you. I’m not looking to Baylor’s athletic performance or how they behave behind the scenes to give me any kind of peace, which can only come from you. That means, when they disappoint me (not on the field, but off of it), I will look to see how they respond.

But back to the video I posted above. I think this video shows me a vulnerability and depth of character and knowledge of you that really encourages me. When a friend of mine listened to it he said, “Wow, he’s a real Christian.” I think that is true. That doesn’t mean that he is incorruptible anymore than I am. In fact, he’s probably more vulnerable because he has a lot more notoriety and power than I have. But I believe he’s the kind of man who will repent after failing instead of pretending like none of it is his fault.

Father, the lesson for me is to love people and be vulnerable myself. If I am going to appreciate someone else, it should be for the character they show, even when they fail. I should not look to them for my joy, but appreciate the work they do to bring your kingdom into the world. Matt Rhule isn’t perfect. He will make mistakes and fail. But I appreciate his willingness to vulnerably represent you. Thank you for his example and for the work you are doing through him, regardless of wins.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 23, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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The Four-Way Test

21 Nov

The Rotary Four-Way Test

Of the things we think, say, and do:

  • First, is it the truth?
  • Second, is it fair to all concerned?
  • Third, will it bring good will and better friendships?
  • Fourth, will it be beneficial to all concerned?

Dear God, I joined Rotary over 12 years ago and I’m so glad I did. I’ve learned a lot, and it has been a good way for me to engage in community service outside of the work I do through the social service nonprofit where I work. One of the problems with working in a nonprofit focused on a single issue like healthcare, children or animals is that you can become myopic about your cause and you lose sight of other areas of need in the community. I would imagine that working in a church would present a similar problem.

Being in Rotary, however, exposes me to a variety of service projects. And even the speakers we have will sometimes talk about their social service activities or teach us something new. Frankly, it has also helped expose the nonprofit where I work to the members with whom I serve.

At the end of each meeting, we recite the four-way test I listed above. I’ve actually used this test several times. Years ago, I was in the middle of a crisis with our facility that ultimately resulted in our organization suing the builder. I didn’t want to do it, but their insurance company told us they wouldn’t engage with us until we brought a lawsuit. Through the whole process, however, whenever I had a decision to make or needed to give my advice to our board of directors, I would actively try to run it through this four-way test.

My problem with some Rotary clubs when I visit them is that they add a fifth test–Is it fun? Really? That’s a way to measure whether I should do something or not? I should base my decision making and choices on whether or not something is fun? No. I reject that. I prayed with my wife this morning and told her that a hard thing I had to do yesterday passed the four-way test, but it was not fun. As Fred Smith reminded us in his blog this morning, there is also duty, and oftentimes duty is not fun.

Father, help me to remember that you pretty much gave us a two-way test:

  • Am I loving you with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength?
  • Am I loving my neighbor as myself?

Paul said that a fruit of the Spirit is joy, but nowhere are we told in scripture that joy, fun or happiness should be our pursuit. That is just something Thomas Jefferson threw into the Declaration of Independence. Happiness is fleeting, but joy comes to us from the peace of doing our duty. Help me to do my duty today.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 21, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Faithful Grinders

16 Nov

Dear God, it is so important for us to be part of others’ lives. Yesterday, I talked to you about “making old friends” and seeing what surprises there might be in developing relationships with people from my past with whom I didn’t use to have anything in common. Then there’s the other side of the spectrum. It’s those existing old friends who just impress you and inspire you.

Last night, I spent the night with one of the most amazing couples I’ve ever known. The husband was my high school youth minister. I first met them over 32 years ago. I knew them before they were engaged, much less married. Keeping up with them and knowing them now is an unbelievable inspiration. Of course, you know them and their story better than I do, but they they have faced a lot of adversity. They’ve each had significant health problems. And I mean significant. They have lived their children through difficult paths and watched them grow into fine people who love you. They exemplify everything that is true about gifts of the Holy Spirit. They exhibit love, joy, peace… And there is nothing flashy about them. They are still getting up every day and grinding their way through life. They are still facing challenges. But I see zero bitterness. I see no selfishness or self-pity. My goodness, you radiate through them.

Father, help me to be more like you by being more like them. Oh, how I still like to feel sorry for myself. I still like to see the negatives. I’m sorry. Thank you for this couple. Thank you for showing through them that you don’t have to completely remove the struggle from our lives for your joy and peace to be in us. And I’ll add here, please guide them. Provide for them. Help them to feel your love. And help them to see a little of what they contribute to your kingdom through just living their lives and radiating you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 16, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

Making Old Friends

15 Nov

Dear God, I read Fred Smith’s weekly blog this morning, as I do every week, and this week’s post’s title made me think before I even read the piece: “Making Old Friends”

I suppose you could interpret that sentence in several ways, but my first instinct was to think back to high school and wonder if I could ever be close to people I didn’t care for back then. Would the change in us over the years make us more compatible than we were then? Have I written people off because my image of them is that of the 16-year-old they were instead of the 50-year-old they are?

Then there are others I know, but have never taken time to know well. Do I need to take a better look around me and see if there are friendships that you would like me to cultivate for my benefit, their benefit, and the benefit of your kingdom? I’m sure the answer is yes.

There was a man that lived here when I first moved here nearly 14 years ago. He was in his 70s and single so I assume a lot of his actions were driven by loneliness, but he had lunch out almost every day with someone different, including me. He would call me about 10:00 in the morning and invite me to lunch. I’d go out to lunch with others and see him there with someone (almost always someone different). He was a man about town who attended three church services at three different churches very Sunday so he could sing in three choirs. I wonder if I don’t need a little bit more of him in me.

Father, lead me into local relationships here that will help me to grow closer to you and will bless you and those around me. Yesterday, I sat and ate alone in a restaurant for lunch. A little later, a widowed volunteer came in and sat by herself as I was finishing. I wish I had asked he to lunch. I should have thought about her having that need. So open my eyes so that I can see what you are trying to show me.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on November 15, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

“Unreasonable People” by Fred Smith

31 Oct

This prayer was inspired by Fred Smith’s blog post, “Unreasonable People.”

Dear God, Tuesday night I spoke to a group of donors about our nonprofit, and I mentioned the vision you gave our founding director to get involved in her local community and the health of those who couldn’t afford traditional healthcare. You showed her what to do each step of the way, and you answered the faith that she and others that came around her put in you. Now, 27 years later, it is a full-service medical, dental, and counseling clinic with over a $1 million budget that helps thousands of people. It started with one seed and no apparent resources.

Then, yesterday, I introduced some local people to the first nonprofit where I worked back in Waco. Again, your inspiration led four women to change the life trajectories of those living in deep, urban, multigenerational poverty by starting a therapeutic nursery that helps children starting at birth. Once again, they started with nothing but a vision and an inkling of what their next step was.

Then, this morning, I read Fred’s piece about to different pairs of people who had a vision to impact a problem. One was to clean up trash in the ocean (especially plastic) and the other was to do something about the medical debt that crushes people. They didn’t start with money, but just a vision and an idea of what to do next. I don’t know what role faith played in either of their stories, but I’ve noticed some themes.

  • No one did it alone. Even the woman who started our clinic had key people share her vision and partner with her to make it happen. The four women in South Waco had each other. Each of Fred’s stories has pairs of people, not a Lone Ranger (who had Tanto).
  • They started with no resources or apparent way to pay for it. The just did what was next.
  • They were faithful over a long period of time. These weren’t short-term solutions where people just swooped in, fixed it, and left. They committed for the long term.
  • Through their work, you didn’t eliminate the lack of access to healthcare on a grand scale, multigenerational poverty, trash in the ocean, or medical debt. It’s still out there. But you did move the needle through these people.

Part of the talks I give sometimes are about Nehemiah moments. You inspired Nehemiah to do something about Jerusalem in a way that you didn’t inspire anyone else. Then he took that inspiration, got people to come around him, including the king, and support his work. The money came. The resources came. But Nehemiah didn’t start with money and say, “What should I fix?” He started with a vision and then inspired others to join him.

Father, obviously, there is a role for those who have resources to try to figure out how to solve problems. But maybe one of the problems with that paradigm is that it is too easy to go it alone–without partners. It is too easy to try to take control of the process instead of depending on others to help you make it better. In our weakness, you are strong. You make us better through each other. You make us better through the iron of others sharpening us and our iron sharpening them in return. So please help me to have the humility I need to accept the help of others and embrace the process of them making our organization (and, in the process, me) better. Thank you that you don’t just fix things, but that you enter the world through your people. As Chuck Colson said, “Our hope isn’t in who governs us, or what laws we pass, or what great things we do as a nation. Our hope is in the power of God working through the hearts of people. That’s where our hope is in this country. That’s where our hope is in life.”

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 31, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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“Deep Dive” by Fred Smith

18 Oct

Please take a moment to read this blog post by Fred Smith before reading my prayer below.

Dear God, reading this blog yesterday morning gave me a lot to think about. It came out on a Thursday morning, and on Wednesdays I meet with a sixth-grade boy in a mentoring program at the local middle school. The boy has some particularly difficult circumstances and I’ll confess that I’ve wondered if I’m doing him any good at all. We get about half an hour a week together and I’ve been talking with him a little while he eats and then playing ping pong with him. I have no idea how he sees our time together, and I’ve been trying to think through if I need to do anything different. Then I read this blog post and it helped me a little. I even sent the link to the leadership of the mentoring program so they could see it too.

So what did I get out of it? I really liked how Fred Smith focused on the depth of character that anchors you in an upright position. It’s the first step to address before you start working about where you are going or how you’re going to get there. Do you have that character to anchor you in an upright position first?

It reminds me of the CPR class I took. When someone is in trauma they told you to remember A-B-C: Airway, Breathing, and Cardiovascular. Is the airway clear? Are they able to breathe? Is their heart pumping? In that order. The leg that is broken and pointed in the wrong direction is unimportant in that moment. First, A-B-C. I think that concept can be applied to this. As his mentor, my first concern should be how I can influence his keel. I don’t need to focus on how he’s doing in his classes or what he wants to be when he grows up. I mean, sure, those are things for us to discuss, but if I don’t spend some time purposefully talking about character things with him then I will be missing the point.

Father, help me to be what you need me to be for him. Now that you’ve given me this insight, help me to seek out people who can teach me how to do it. Show me exactly what you need for me to do for this boy. Do it all for your glory, sweet Jesus, so that he might be a reflection of you and experience your love, joy, and peace.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on October 18, 2019 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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