²¹ “Have mercy on me, my friends, have mercy,
    for the hand of God has struck me.
²² Must you also persecute me, like God does?
    Haven’t you chewed me up enough?

²³ “Oh, that my words could be recorded.
    Oh, that they could be inscribed on a monument,
²⁴ carved with an iron chisel and filled with lead,
    engraved forever in the rock.

²⁵ “But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives,
    and he will stand upon the earth at last.
²⁶ And after my body has decayed,
    yet in my body I will see God!
²⁷ I will see him for myself.
    Yes, I will see him with my own eyes.
    I am overwhelmed at the thought!

Job 19:21-27

Dear God, I am reminded in this passage why I had such a hard time with Job the first time I read it and tried to journal through it. One simply cannot read Job in snippets. It must be ingested as a whole book. The verse for today was just verse 25:“But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and he will stand upon the earth at last. That verse makes Job sound like he’s worshipping you in what he’s saying, but he’s actually complaining in this whole section. How could you have turned on him. He admits that you live and that he will see you for himself one day after he has died, but until then he’s going to complain about you punishing him for wrongs he thinks he didn’t do.

But I do want to sit in this moment of frustration (and sin) with Job. You’ll let him know in chapter 38 just what you think of his complaints. But for the moment, he’s frustrated. And I’ll admit, I’m in probably my most frustrating stage of work right now. I’m looking for some answers with staffing, and I’m not finding them. I need your help. I need your guidance. I need you to bring the right people to us to help us help our patients. I need you to give me ideas, insights, and wisdom. I need you to make my path straight. I’m not complaining. I’m not saying that I’m suffering. And I’m grateful for what you’ve done for us to help us plug the gaps. But you know we are struggling right now to really reach our potential because of staffing, and I need you to guide us all.

There have been times in the past when I felt really let down by you, but you brought me through those times, and you were more gentle with me then than you were with Job starting in chapter 38. You sent me a former preacher who simply told me, “It’s hard when we are disappointed with God.” I was disappointed with you, but my expectations were misinformed.

Father, as I sit here now, I think about friends who have lost children to death. Friends who are widowed and lost their spouses too young. Friends who have lost family members to estrangement. The pain in my own life. And I don’t blame you for any of those, including allowing them to happen in the first place. This is life. It is our life. All you’ve told us is that you will walk with us. So walk with me today, as you walked with Adam and Eve in the Garden. Speak to me. Comfort me. Provide for me. And help me to worship you well.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen