“Even If” by MercyMe

They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t

It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now

But God, when You choose
To leave mountains unmovable
Oh give me the strength to be able to sing
It is well with my soul

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good
All of my days
Jesus, I will cling to You
Come what may
‘Cause I know You’re able
I know You can

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul

Songwriters: Bart Millard / Ben Glover / Crystal Lewis / David Garcia / Tim Timmons

Dear God, this song hits me on a few levels. Let’s just dive in. There’s obviously the part of a person struggling with life and trying to lean into you for comfort and provision. But then it starts with the aspect of the singer being a public minister who, to some extent, is putting on a show for people and trying to tell them to trust you while simultaneously experiencing his own doubts:

They say sometimes you win some
Sometimes you lose some
And right now, right now I’m losing bad
I’ve stood on this stage night after night
Reminding the broken it’ll be alright
But right now, oh right now I just can’t

It’s easy to sing
When there’s nothing to bring me down
But what will I say
When I’m held to the flame
Like I am right now

A few years ago, I was asked to preach for a friend at the local Episcopal church. What made it complicated was that my own family was going through a terrible time and I didn’t feel like I had a legitimate right to tell anyone how to live their life. I remember struggling with that and actually referencing it during the sermon.

On the other hand, the worst sermon I ever heard was a man who got up on Father’s Day in 2014 and talked about every good and correct thing he had done as a father and how great his kids had turned out. I cannot imagine that that sermon did anyone in the audience any good other than perhaps some young parents with infants who were looking for good parenting tips. I suspect that a lot of the rest of us were feeling condemned.

So I can appreciate the fact that this song puts it all on the table, and in a way that doesn’t share too much personally but helps the band communicate to the audience that there is this struggle in their own lives. It’s a little like Facebook and only seeing others’ best parts of their lives. It’s not appropriate for me to put a lot of personal information about me or family members on that platform, but it is important to somehow communicate to others that my life is as challenging as theirs is. That’s how we bless others and we all grow. That’s how we sharpen each other.

Then there is the other part of this song. The struggle. And I see two aspects of what it’s communicating. The first is the chorus when it basically says that sometimes the struggle is part of the intended journey.

I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt
Would all go away if You’d just say the word
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone

There was a song by Scott Krippayne back in the 90s called “Sometimes He Calms the Storm” that meant a lot to me. The chorus said, “Sometimes he calms the storm with a whispered, ‘Peace be still.’ He can settle any sea, but it doesn’t mean he will. Sometimes he holds us close as the wind and waves go wild. Sometimes he calms the storm, but other times he calms his child.” Same thing. Sometimes, the storm is part of the journey. Paul had to go through prison. Jesus had to go through the 40 days of fasting and then the temptation. As I look back, I am certainly a better man and more useful to you because of the experiences.

Finally, there’s the part about feeling like my faith in you just isn’t adequate. Do I really believe?

They say it only takes a little faith
To move a mountain
Well good thing
A little faith is all I have, right now

I cannot count the number of times I’ve prayed to you, “Father, I believe. Help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:21-24). I wish my faith was greater. I really do. Thank you for loving me anyway.

Father, as I close this prayer, I guess I have three things I want to say. First, thank you for everything–the good and the bad. I know that you don’t necessarily cause the bad things to happen, but I am certain that you are my shepherd through them. Second, I promise to be as transparent as possible for the strengthening of not only my own soul, but so that the pain and struggle will not return void and others can be comforted or encouraged by me. And third, I promise to bring all of my faith to the table. I won’t leave anything back as I worship you and believe, not necessarily that you will calm my storm, but that you will use whatever I experience for your glory if I sacrifice it to you.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen