Dear God, I was talking with my wife this morning over breakfast about a young couple in their 20s. They were married just three years ago, and have already experienced some surprising setbacks.

The wife was in college in another state when they married and she was almost done with her degree. It was a specialty college that offered something no one else does. She had invested years in their program. Then, shortly after they got married, the college shut down. She was left with no degree and no one to honor the work she had already done. She was a square one.

They moved back to Texas and then the husband contracted a serious disease that will limit his ability to work for the rest of his life. Now she is working retail and the primary earner in their family while he tries to find work he can do. She is trying to climb the career ladder at the retailer where she works. They are about to move to another town where there will be more advancement opportunities within that company.

Just three short years ago, on their wedding day, I’m sure they never would have guessed where they would be in the summer of 2019. That made me think of this picture that I saw on Facebook this morning.

The man in the picture runs a large nonprofit in a low-income area of a city in Texas. I don’t know the woman, but he describes her in the picture. I know of just one or two of the tragedies that he and his wife have been through over the years. I know the woman only through this post, but this line struck me: “…we lamented the pain of and struggles of our lives.” Not that there hasn’t been good in each life. Great things have obviously happened. But there has been unplanned pain and struggle. After all, how can we possibly plan for the pain our lives will experience?

My wife and I are coming up on the 30-year anniversary of when we met. I was 19 and she was 18. We had no idea what the future held for us, but I can tell you that neither of us thought we would be where we are now in 30 years. And where we are is remarkably good, but it has also, despite our best efforts to follow you and live the way we feel called to live, brought tremendous pain. That’s life.

I’ve told you before that I was very disappointed in you a few years ago. I felt like you had let me down and hadn’t lived up to your end of the bargain for the faith I had put in you. But I’ve learned. I’ve slowly decreased in my own eyes and allowed you to increase. I’ve learned to give of myself and not take. I sang songs in church that “it’s all about you” and “it’s not about me,” but I didn’t really know how to live that.

Father, I’m still learning. I still feel sorry for myself sometimes. I still don’t appreciate just how good I’ve had it. And I still think way too hard about planning out and controlling my future instead of just staying in the moment with you. That will be my ultimate arrival in my growth, I think. When I learn to not look to the future, but am consistently completely in the present with you. Help me to continue to get there. And thank you for everything–even the pain.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen