Emails to God from July 21, 2012

Dear God, one of the benefits of doing a prayer journal is getting to go back and revisit a previous time in my life through more than just my memory. I don’t do it nearly enough, and today’s prayer journal makes me think I should do it more.

In this case, yesterday, I was thinking about the song “Mountain of God” by Third Day and I wondered if I had ever done a journal about it before. It turns out I had. It was July 21, 2012. That date immediately meant something to me. I now know it as the beginning of a five-year valley with my wife and children. I have often thought about that summer and some of the things that happened, including starting counseling with a therapist, and how it set the stage for what was to come.

Of course, at that point, I had no idea what was to come, how hard it would be, or how deep the valley would get. But it’s interesting to see how I expressed my faith in you at the time, and gratifying to be able to look back and see what you have done and what you have taught me. I made a lot of mistakes while I was in that particular valley. I continue to make them. I’m sorry for that. But I am also grateful that, while there were times when I was desperate and in tears, I never felt alone.

Father, I can almost never figure out what you are teaching me in real time, but I can sometimes get a glimpse of it in retrospect. Help me to learn what you need me to learn, understand what you need me to understand, and grow how you need me to grow. Be glorified in me and help me life to count for your glory in the lives of others.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen