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Psalm 19

12 Jun

Psalm 19

For the choir director: A psalm of David.

1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God.
    The skies display his craftsmanship.
2 Day after day they continue to speak;
    night after night they make him known.
3 They speak without a sound or word;
    their voice is never heard.
4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth,
    and their words to all the world.

God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.
5 It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.
    It rejoices like a great athlete eager to run the race.
6 The sun rises at one end of the heavens
    and follows its course to the other end.
    Nothing can hide from its heat.

7 The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
    reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.
8 The commandments of the Lord are right,
    bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
    giving insight for living.
9 Reverence for the Lord is pure,
    lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
    each one is fair.
10 They are more desirable than gold,
    even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
    even honey dripping from the comb.
11 They are a warning to your servant,
    a great reward for those who obey them.

12 How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
    Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
    Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
    and innocent of great sin.

14 May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Dear God, thinking back to the discussion I heard on the Voxology Podcast several months ago about the Psalms and categorizing them as psalms of orientation, disorientation, and reorientation; this one is my favorite kind of psalm because it’s the easiest for me to deal with theologically: orientation. This is just straight up speaking truth. You are awesome. The world proclaims your glory. I am sinful. Search my heart and cleanse me.

So, here I am to worship. To proclaim your glory! Here’s an interesting phrase in verse 7:

7 The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
    reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
    making wise the simple.

It’s amazing how much there is out there in the world that is just waiting to poison my soul. It wants to bring me down to its level. It wants me to sink into the bitterness it experiences. What is “it?” “It” is Satan, but it uses others it has corrupted to bring down. Oh, Father, help me keep from being something it uses to bring others down. No, please lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil.

Father, I’ve been using the close of my prayer journals lately to pray for others. Today, I want to focus on three people I know with some stage of cancer or complications from cancer. I won’t name them specifically for their privacy, but you know who they are. Oh, please, be with each one. Love them. Encourage them. Heal them. Give their caregivers strength. Give their doctors wisdom and insight. Use this pain to do something none of us can see. To draw anyone who touches the situation to you. To heal relationships. To inspire. Make their paths very straight. As I said when I mentioned giving the doctors insight and wisdom, give them a very clear path forward. And send your angels to comfort. Send your angels to be with them on their behalf. To protect them. Their caregivers and loved ones too. Be very present with them, Holy Spirit. Be very present with all of us.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 12, 2024 in Psalms

 

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Orientation, Disorientation, and Reorientation – Revisted

13 May

Dear God, I found the podcast I was looking for yesterday from Voxology Podcast. It’s called “The Only Way Out is Through.” I first heard this back at the end of December, and it really helped me to think about the seasons of life with you. I am pretty sure I journaled about it back then because it impacted me so much. My wife and I were talking about it the other day so I wanted to listen to it again, but I had a hard time finding which one it was. But here it is. I found it. The discussion of “orientation, disorientation, and reorientation” begins at about the 21-minute mark.

They tie this Walter Bruggeman’s work on the psalms and how he ties them to these three categories (sometimes a psalm can be in more than one category). Examples would be a psalm of orientation (life is good) would be Psalm 45. A psalm of disorientation (life hurts) would be Psalm 13. A psalm of reorientation (there is surprising new life) would be Psalm 30.

Between this and all of the psalms I read during Lent, you have given me an appreciation for them that I have never had before. You know that I’ve never particularly liked a lot of psalms. Some of them are nice. Psalm 1. Psalm 23. Psalm 51. Psalm 139. The ones that feel like they fit within my theological structure are easy for me. But then there are the ones that call for the death of my enemies through many generations and stuff like that that really bother me. But I’ve learned to see these passages as “descriptive” and not “prescriptive.” They aren’t telling me to feel that way. They aren’t saying you endorse those sentiments. The psalmist is letting me in on his (I think they were all men) feelings at that given time.

I have a pastor friend right now whom I know is going through a difficult season. I have mentioned a woman whose son is suffering from addiction and in bad shape. I have another friend dealing with cancer. Still another has a son who has a tumor that is difficult to remove. Then I have my own disorientation, although, interestingly, I feel the disorientation less and less and feel reorientation more and more. And I suppose that’s the way it goes. When you are young and are fortunate enough to not have experienced disorientation yet, you feel naively secure. But into every life a little rain must fall, and sooner or later we all fall into a time of disorientation. That can often come about very suddenly. But reorientation doesn’t happen overnight. I don’t get rid of disorientation all at once. It’s a process of becoming reoriented. Right now, from the disorientation that started for me 15 years ago, I am mostly emotionally adjusted to, although the sorrow still remains. It’s just that the sorrow doesn’t disorient me like it used to.

I find myself still typing here, so this must be important for me to work out with you. One of the things they mentioned in the podcast is going through disorientation in community. We should not go through it alone. That’s important.

Another thing they mentioned was that the modern church with contemporary music tends to only have Sunday morning songs of orientation. But those songs do not fit what everyone is experiencing. There is disorientation in the room. There is reorientation in the room. The Book of Psalms includes all of this. Our modern contemporary churches mostly do not.

Father, help me to use the disorientation and reorientation of my life to be a blessing to others. Thank you for walking with me through this. Thank you for the man who, several years ago as I lamented over my disorientation (that’s not what I called it at the time), labeled it for me as being “disappointed” with you. I was disappointed with you. I was scared and frustrated. I was hurt and confused. But you were gentle with me.

I am reading Nancy French’s memoir Ghosted: An American Story. She doesn’t use this language, but applying what I’ve learned here to what I’ve read of her book, she describes being disoriented by a sexual assault by a church leader when she was 12 years old. She was disoriented for a long time. It wasn’t until she met her future husband when she was 20 that the reorientation started to happen. I don’t know enough of his story to know if he had experienced disorientation up to that point, but shortly after they started dating he experienced a health scare that could have killed him–disorientation. But they walked through it together with each other and their community of friends. That’s about where I am in the story, but I can see reorientation happening. I also know enough of their story to know that more disorientations are coming. They are for all of us.

Okay, Father, I have to get to work, but I have enjoyed this time with you. I’ve enjoyed hearing your voice. Thank you for being with me yesterday for that Sunday school lesson. I pray that your Holy Spirit found fertile soil in which he could plant good seeds. I pray that people will remember the words spoken and not me. And I pray that if I was wrong about anything you will correct me and help them to forget those words. Thank you for gently reorienting me. I know there will be more disorientations to come. Help me to not be afraid, but to simply walk through the valley of the shadow of death with you.

I offer all of this to you in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 13, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Psalms

 

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“The God Who Disappoints” Revisited

12 May

Dear God, I know I have prayed about this Voxology podcast episode called “The God Who Disappoints” before, but I came across it again yesterday while I was looking for something else and it feels like an appropriate topic for Mother’s Day. Why? Because sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way you think it will. We have our dreams of how we hope things will work out. Maybe it’s our careers. Marriages. Relationships with children. Behaviors of children, grown or young. Church. Friendships. Health. Standard of living. Whatever it might be, we have our hopes and dreams and then there is the reality of what we live.

I was visiting with a mother who called me yesterday about her adult son who struggles with addiction. I know she’s not a perfect woman. None of us are. I am sure her son has legitimate beefs with her just as my children do with me. But this woman loves her son so much. Oh, the pain she is feeling!

Then I think back to Mary and Joseph. Jeremiah. Manoah and his wife (Samson’s parents). Moses. Paul. Peter. David. Jonathan. Elijah. Job. Even Jesus. In fact, I suppose if my life is too rosy I should probably question what I’m doing because I can think of very few people in the Bible who had rosy lives that turned out exactly like they wanted them to.

So what exactly is it that you are offering me in this relationship? What do you bring to the table. Theoretically, I bring you all of my worship and praise. What do I get in return? The answer: relationship with you. Comfort in this life. Peace. A joy that comes from loving others and loving you sacrificially. Everything I have is about you, Father. And I’m not going to even mention an afterlife with you because I don’t want to just use you or manipulate you so that you will let me into heaven. I want to be with you now. I want to know you now. I want to learn from you now. I want to be a better man through knowing you and allowing you to form me through the struggles.

Father, I confess that I have been disappointed with you in the past, and by past I mean as recently as this morning. But that is my selfishness, and I am sorry. To paraphrase Job 38, who am I to question your wisdom with such ignorant words? Where was I when you laid the foundations of the earth? No, Father, I am here to be formed by you and your Holy Spirit. I am here to submit myself to you. I am here to then be your ambassador into this world. My life is not about me. It is here for you. I surrender it to you. Thank you for the goodness you show me. Thank you for giving me more than I deserve. Thank you for forgiving my sin. Thank you for being the God who sees me.

I offer this prayer to you in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on May 12, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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Acts 10:21-29

30 Apr

So Peter went down and said, “I’m the man you are looking for. Why have you come?”

They said, “We were sent by Cornelius, a Roman officer. He is a devout and God-fearing man, well respected by all the Jews. A holy angel instructed him to summon you to his house so that he can hear your message.” So Peter invited the men to stay for the night. The next day he went with them, accompanied by some of the brothers from Joppa.

They arrived in Caesarea the following day. Cornelius was waiting for them and had called together his relatives and close friends. As Peter entered his home, Cornelius fell at his feet and worshiped him. But Peter pulled him up and said, “Stand up! I’m a human being just like you!” So they talked together and went inside, where many others were assembled.

Peter told them, “You know it is against our laws for a Jewish man to enter a Gentile home like this or to associate with you. But God has shown me that I should no longer think of anyone as impure or unclean. So I came without objection as soon as I was sent for. Now tell me why you sent for me.”
Acts 10:21-29

Dear God, I love Peter’s willingness to change his mind here. He has grown so much in his role as a leader. It reminds me of a concept I heard about yesterday for the first time that I hadn’t heard before: “power over” vs. “power with.” Peter was used to a “power over” model (we all are) that authorized the person with power over someone else to use it. All of the way up through Peter’s attack on the servant of the high priest and cutting off his ear in the garden and then denying Jesus, Peter only had a paradigm for exercising power over things.

But Jesus brought a new model: “Power with.” This, as I understand it from listening to the Voxology podcast yesterday is your power exercised in conjunction with and to benefit others. Jesus used the power to heal others, exorcise demons, and forgive sins. He taught a new way of using authority.

Bringing it back to this story, Peter is now a much humbler man even though he has more authority in the church, “The Way,” than he ever has. He is using “power with” to love go with Cornelius’s servants and take your Holy Spirit to them. He is humble. He is learning.

I struggled yesterday with whether or not to write a letter to the editor on a topic that concerned me, but I could not get comfortable with anything I was writing. Then I started to wonder what my motives were. Does the community need to hear my opinion on this issue? Is there a part of me that wants to throw my hat into the ring for my own self-aggrandizement? I still don’t know the answer to these questions, but I did feel like I should abandon it because I was not being called to do it.

Father, thank you for the example of Peter’s character arc. And I know that he isn’t done. He and Paul will have conflict and Paul will call him out for something he disagrees with later. And Peter will admit he’s wrong. So help me today to lead the organization where I work, but to lead with a “power with” and not a “power over.” Help me to lead how Jesus lead. Help me to love how Jesus loved. Teach me like you taught Peter. Use me to bless the world around me with your power so that your kingdom might come and you will might be done on this earth.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 30, 2024 in Acts, Cornelius

 

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Romans 13:1-7

16 Apr

13 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2 So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. 3 For the authorities do not strike fear in people who are doing right, but in those who are doing wrong. Would you like to live without fear of the authorities? Do what is right, and they will honor you. 4 The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. 5 So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.

6 Pay your taxes, too, for these same reasons. For government workers need to be paid. They are serving God in what they do. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.

Romans 13:1-7

Dear God, I wonder why Paul threw this part into his letter to the Romans. In context with the end of chapter 12, this is part of a section where Paul is talking about loving your enemies and those who persecute you.

Yesterday was April 15, the deadline for making sure our federal taxes for the previous year are paid. I was at a Rotary meeting and people were complaining about paying taxes. I didn’t say anything, but I was wondering where their patriotism was. If they love their country like they say they do, why would they resent the idea that we have to pay something to live here? I see verse 6, and it makes me think of that.

But going back to the part about submitting to authorities, it is ironic that Paul was eventually killed by the authorities, as were all of the apostles besides John. Even Jesus. But Jesus agreed with Paul when he told Pilate that he wouldn’t have any authority over himself except what was given to him by you.

I was listening to a man talk yesterday about the New Testament and politics on the Voxology Podcast. How would Paul have had us act through his epistles. He said a lot that I liked, but one thing I will carry with me a long time is that he doesn’t understand how a Christian can identify as a Democrat or a Republican. Either label carries with it some things that are antithetical to you. We are Christians first. Then with each election we have a choice to make, but for me to pre-label myself as a Republican or a Democrat is in appropriate. I like that.

Father, at this point in my life, I am in a position where I don’t find myself having to stand up to any governmental authorities, but I do have authorities over me. At work, I have 14 board members. I have a wife to whom I am accountable. I have friends who hold me accountable. And I have people watching me all day every day who are looking to me to be an example of what it means to live a life submitted to you. So please help me to do that well. Help me to love you well. Help me to worship you and you only, serve others, and rest in your Holy Spirit. Oh, Holy Spirit, inspire me, comfort me, teach me, and love through me.

I offer this prayer to you in Jesus and with that same Holy Spirit, my Paraclete,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 16, 2024 in Romans

 

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Lament

14 Jan

Dear God, I prayed a couple of days ago about what you might have for me on this retreat. Now, it’s the last morning, and I think I’ve heard you. The word has been lament. I’ve described my life to others lately as largely good with this tremendous cloud of sorrow that is constantly on the horizon. And it’s amazing how the 90% that’s good can be impacted by the 10% that is incredibly sad, but it’s real and it’s there.

I listened to two different episodes of the Voxology Podcast that I downloaded before I came on the trip. They turned out to be divine appointments. The first episode was titled “The God Who Disappoints Everyone,” and the follow-up episode was called “The Only Way Out is Through.” The first episode talked about the myriad of biblical characters who had, by worldly standards either disappointing lives or, at best, real sorrows after they received your call for them. Moses was called to lead the people to the Promised Land, but wasn’t allowed to enter. David really wanted to build your Temple, but was denied. Mary certainly had heartache. Paul’s life would have turned out better from a worldly standpoint if he had remained a Pharisee. One point he made was that just about everyone who interacted with Jesus, except for the people who were healed or forgiven of their sin (Samaritan woman, woman caught in adultery, etc.), at some point was disappointed in how things were going. Even Jesus’s closest disciples were disillusioned at one time or another. So my life, although containing sorrow, certainly does not stand out amidst these biblical characters.

The next episode was a follow-up because the first one generated so much response from people. They read a couple of emails from people who were doing everything they knew to do, but they were still not experiencing the “God is good all the time,” “You have the victory in Jesus” life. The title of the podcast was their main message. They talked about being “oriented,” “disoriented,” and “reoriented.” Oriented is knowing and feeling who I am in you. Living it fully. Disoriented is losing that feeling in my heart and soul. I know it, but that knowledge isn’t doing anything for me because I still have sorrow and lament. Reoriented is the person who has been through the disorientation and come through the other side. Their advice was for the disoriented person to find an oriented or, preferably, a reoriented person to walk with you through the darkness. Mike talked about the Prince Caspian book from the Chronicles of Narnia series and how the youngest child, Lucy, was the one who could see Aslan while they were walking in a scary and confusing place. The others followed her, trusting she could see Aslan until they were ultimately able to see him for themselves. So Mike’s suggestion was to find someone who can see Jesus from where they are and follow them, putting your trust that Jesus is there, the Holy Spirit is there, you, the Father, are there, and keep following them to you until they themselves can see you.

I’m not saying I’m in a place where I can’t see you. I’ve certainly been there before, but I’m not there now. But I do have this ache and this lament that penetrates my soul. It hurts. It brings tears to my eyes, even as I type these words. And there are times when it doesn’t feel okay. But that is why community is important. In those moments, the people you put into my life—my wife, friends, or even podcasters—give my soul rest while I simply move through the forest. There is no helicopter that will get me out of it. The only way out is through.

Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, thank you for meeting me here this weekend. I consider my life worth nothing to me. I only want to finish the race and complete the task you have given to me. The task of testifying to your grace.

I offer this prayer to you in the name of Jesus, my Lord,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2024 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories

 

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