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Tag Archives: The Waiting

“Curtains” by Ed Sheeran and “Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting

“Curtains” by Ed Sheeran

Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place, and you found me anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day

Hide and seek
I am somewhere closed away
You won’t believe
How long it’s been since we started the game
I can’t be seen
And you won’t find me today
I’ve not been
This low, but I’ll be okay

“Are you alright?” Maybe, don’t ask
‘Cause you know I never like to talk about that
Keep it inside, yeah, you say I always hold back
And I always wear long sleeves
Is it in your childhood? Somethin’ happen in your past?
Well, the sadness, yeah, I promise that it won’t last
And if I could, I would try to take it all back
There’s still more underneath and that’s when you say to me

“Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place and you found me, anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day”

Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine

Hide and seek
Count to ten and close your eyes
Try to breathe
See a message and don’t reply
Nice to meet
But in reality, say goodbye
Life can be
So beautiful if you try

“Are you okay?” Yeah, I guess so
But on some days, I feel like I’m trapped in a hole
But I keep quiet, so the ones around me don’t know
That the mountain feels so steep
And I’ll say that I’m here to help to carry the load
And the outside rays, they are good for the soul
So let’s step out of the dark, ’cause in here, it’s so cold
The day’s not out of reach and that’s when you say to me

“Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place, and you found me anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day”

Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Ed Sheeran / Aaron Dessner

Dear God, I was listening to this song yesterday, and while it wasn’t a day I felt like hiding and just staying in bed, I could certainly relate to the feeling. I do get it from time to time. There are times when I just want to hide away. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen often, and when it does it doesn’t last too long–usually just several hours. I’m very grateful for that. I know some who struggle more frequently and for longer periods of time, and I know it is hard for them. And for the young, I fear that the combination of social media and videogames can only enhance this desire to lock yourself away and disengage from society.

As I listened to this song the second and third time, it reminded me of a song that was very important to me back in 2003 and 2005 when I was unemployed for a while. It was an explicitly Christian song called “Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting.

“Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting

I’m here staring at a bird in a tree
Lying still, only wishing he were me
‘Cause for a bird it’s not a crime
To try and satisfy his bird belly hunger
Or fly the blue belly sky

And from his bird’s eye view
He can pick and he can choose
He doesn’t have to grieve his spirit
No he doesn’t have to lose a moment’s joy there in his nest
No matter what his mess, and he can barrel out his chest
And he can fly away…

But I’m pinned down in my bed again
I don’t think I could fly (I wouldn’t try)
If I was a bird I would be content
To peck along the ground
‘Cause I’m pinned down again…

I’m here staring at a bird on a limb
Lying still, only wishing I was him
‘Cause I could use a haven,
A nest above my fate
Call it a rest from the chasing of me pillow and my plate

And for a bird it’s always right to love his appetite
He’s too dumb to know the struggle, to weak to know the fight
He can fly south when he gets cold, sing until he’s old
And on a whim, he can unfold his wings
And fly away

I’m here staring at a bird in the air
I wonder what I’d see if I looked down from there
I’d see a shattered temple, all it’s members in a sweat
Everyone’s been degraded, every sermon they forget

I’d see a man pulled from his bed by the same Hands of Love
That hung a cross around his neck
Just to remind him, remind him who he was…

So I guess the question I need to ask myself is how do I keep from falling into too many of these moments? I don’t think they are 100% avoidable. But I do think I need to stay away from cancerous things that can cause me anxiety such as news and too much discourse that focuses on political discussion or any kind of discussion designed to produce anxiety in me. I need to make sure I am feeding myself scripture and listening to teaching and discussions that cause my heart and mind to dwell on you. I need to be about seeking reconciliation in relationships and forgiving others who I feel have wronged me. I need to read things that inspire me to be who you need me to be for your plan and want me to be for my sake. I need to serve others, starting with my wife and family. I need to pray and spend contemplative time with you. I need to worship and remember where I am in the pecking order of life.

Father, I give you this day. I’m grateful that you have a life of joy for me. Help me to live that out and then invite others into being reconciled and joyous with you.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 26, 2024 in Hymns and Songs

 

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“I Have Been There” by Mark Schultz

“I Have Been There” by Mark Schultz

In a room without a view, a new mother smiles and holds
The tiny fingers of her brand new baby girl.
Her husband takes her by the hand, so unsure about the future
Have no money can they make it in this world?
And they pray, Lord all we have to give is love
Then they heard a gentle voice like an echo from above,

I have been there. I know what fear is all about.
Yes, I have been there and I’m standing with you now.
I have been there
And I came to build the bridge oh so this road could lead you home.
Oh I have been there.

He’s been a pastor twenty years
But tonight he sits alone and broken hearted in the corner of the church
He tried to change a fallen world
With his words and with his wisdom but it seems like it is only getting worse
And he cries, Oh Lord I just don’t understand
Then he felt the hand of grace, and he heard a voice that said

I have been there, I know what pain is all about
Yes I have been there, and I’m standing with you now
I have been there, and I came to build a bridge
Oh so this road could lead you home
Oh I have been there.

An older man up on a hill
Holding flowers but he can’t hold back the tears.
Oh he has come to say goodbye.
He thinks about the life she lived,
Thinks about how hard it’s been to live without her
Sixty years right by his side
And he cries, oh Lord I loved her till the end
And he heard a gentle voice say you’ll see her once again

I have been there
I know what sorrow’s all about
Yes I have been there and I’m standing with you now
I have been there, and I came to build a bridge
Oh so this road could lead her home, the road could lead her home

Oh I have been there, You know I overcame the cross, yes I have been there
So her life would not be lost
Oh I have been there, and I came to build
A bridge so this road could lead you home
The road could lead you home

Oh I have been there
Yes I have been there

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Mark Mitchell Schultz

Dear God, I haven’t done two of these prayer journals in one day in a long time, but today seemed like a good day.

In 2005, I was unemployed for about six months. One of the things I did back then was make a CD of songs that comforted me. Several years later, since CDs are much of a thing anymore, I made a playlist with those songs and saved them to my iTunes. I came across that playlist today. Coincidence? Maybe not. It feels like something the Holy Spirit led me to. The songs have been great and brought back some memories. Here’s a list of the songs, in order:

All of these songs are a comfort to me. They are a touchstone to a time when I was very sad, scared, down, and even a little depressed. I’m grateful for this list.

With all of that said, “I Have Been There” by Mark Schultz is the one that brought tears to my eyes. There is nothing I can experience you haven’t experienced. I wish I could find it, but there was something fictional I heard someone read about 35 years ago that still sticks in my brain. I’m sure the person who wrote it would be flattered that it made that much of an impression on someone. In this case, it was people lining up to say what they thought you should have to experience, as God, to understand us better. These are me paraphrasing some of the things. It’s been a long time, and I only heard it once, but it was something to the effect of:

  • One person said that God should have to be poor so he can understand what it’s like to struggle without anything.
  • One person said that God should have to have to endure scandal in his family so he would understand what it’s like to be gossiped about and rejected.
  • One person said he should have to know what it’s like to be rejected for his nationality and be a foreigner.
  • One person said that God should have to lose his son and watch him die a terrible death.

The list went on and on, ultimately ending with that God should have to die to know what it’s like to fear death. Then, one by one, the people walked away because they realized you did all these things through Jesus.

So as I sit here now, feeling rejected by some, there is nothing I can experience you haven’t experienced. Like the song from Mark Schultz says, “[You] have been there.” As I stopped and listened to this song closely, playing it back a second time, I teared up. I felt you comforting me, Holy Spirit. You have been there. You know what I’m going through right now, and you have been there.

Father, I’m sorry for the times I have been a source for your sorrow. I am sorry I have caused you to be there. Thank you for comforting me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being a God who left no stone unturned so that you might know everything about me, including what it’s like to be me.

I gratefully pray all of this as your child,

Amen

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2023 in Hymns and Songs

 

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North Point Church Interview with Stuart and Kellee Hall (Part 3 of 3)

Quotes from “Surviving COVID: An Interview with Stuart and Kellee Hall” from North Point Community Church

54:53
Andy Stanley: If you were sitting over a coffee table with our audience–either single men and women, married men and women, seniors, high school students, college students, and you had your, you know, your elevator pitch…the final moment–what do you say?

Stuart Hall: I would probably say that I think we have the wrong job description for love. As humans we are always trying to avoid pain. As parents we are always trying to protect our children from pain. As friends we are always trying to fix each other’s pain. And no wonder we always feel like failures because life is, it’s the human drama. It’s pleasure and pain. And the question I would have you wrestle with is just simply this: What are you going to trust in when that pain happens? When your certainty is made uncertain? Are you going to lean your life on your own understanding? Your own ability to reason? Your own ability to wrap this up and put a bow on it? Or will you trust your life to the only one that doesn’t change, that doesn’t move, and can actually heal you of your pain, can heal you in your hurt? The last thing I would say is that your love for Jesus doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be true. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be true. So I implore you–if you’re not a Jesus person, you don’t follow him–would you consider what you’re leaning your life up against? And if you are a Jesus person, you are…you do follow in the way of Jesus, how much are you trusting him? Are you trusting what you know about him, or are you really trusting him? That’s my prayer for people, that they will lean their life, the full weight of their existence on him.

Dear God, I was having lunch with a friend yesterday, and he said something I think is very true: Struggle is underrated. Struggle and pain are an important part of our human development–all of the way until death. If there is no struggle we will atrophy and die.

My wife has had a couple of specific stressors in her life lately, and she was talking about them with a friend. The friend asked if she had considered taking any antidepressants to help alleviate the stress, and my wife hadn’t considered it because she wasn’t trying to avoid the pain of the situation. She does things to care for herself through this time like prayer time in a chapel with you on a daily basis, exercise, and nourishing herself with a variety of Godly and intellectually stimulating things, but she isn’t trying to mask why is going on. And that’s not to say that there is not a time and place for antidepressants, but I do believe they are overused in our society. As part of that same conversation when she told me about what her friend said, my wife told me that 1 out of 6 Americans are on some sort of antidepressant/anti-anxiety medication. That means 17% of our country, including children, feel the need to mask their stress. I don’t know what that number should ideally be, but for what is supposedly the greatest country in the world, that seems like a high number.

One of the challenges I faced as a parent was trying to figure out when to mitigate the pain my children were experiencing and when to let them walk through it–albeit with my love and support. And there were times when I tried to not intervene when others would intervene and short-circuit any good that might have come from the struggle. It was a frustrating process, and I don’t think it’s a concept that is taught enough in parenting books.

And then there’s my own life. How do I face struggle and pain? Do I lean on you, or do I try to avoid it? Do I live in denial or do I live in faith (although there is a thin line between living in denial and living in faith). And to be sure, the struggles in my life are pretty mild when compared with other stories I know, but there are still times when I’d rather just curl up in my bed and not face the realities in front of me.

Lately, and I’ve told you this a lot in these journals recently, there have been times when I’ve let the COVID-19 news, the daily deaths, the depletion of healthcare resources, etc. get to me. I recently rediscovered a playlist I made of 15 songs I listened to in 2005 when I was unemployed for six months. They are a mixture of worship songs (“Forever” by Chris Tomlin) and songs about seeking you for comfort. The lead-off song is a guy who can’t get out of bed from the weight of his stress (“Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting). Another song has the line, “Sometimes he calms the storm, but other times he calms his child” (“Sometimes He Calms the Storm” by Scott Krippayne). A couple are songs about repentance like dc Talk’s cover of Charlie Peacock’s “In the Light.” I pulled this playlist out this week and listened to it quite a bit.

Father, I guess I’ll finish with this. If the fruit of the Holy Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, kindness and self control (Galatians 5:22-23) then I want to lean into you/Jesus/Holy Spirit as much as possible to face the trials before me and to help others face their trials as well. I want to do it with transparency and vulnerability. And I want to be a person of action. I don’t want to just sit here and think thoughts that are useless unless they are activated. I want to be a person who sees a need, hears your voice about how you would have me respond, and then be your presence in that situation. Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can (and your blessing, wisdom, and power in that work), and the wisdom to know the difference.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 

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Emails to God – “Staring At A Bird” by The Waiting

It’s song time again. One of the great things about the shuffle feature on an ipod is that it will sometimes reveal songs from your past. I had that happen this week while driving to work.

I was unemployed for about six months in 2003 and then again in 2005. I really had to fight off depression during that time as I experienced a lot of rejection and had a hard time feeling useful. This song is one that I listened to almost every day. It reminded me that I have a freedom, joy, and ability to be carefree and courageous in Jesus that I often forget. It reminded me in the morning that I needed to get out of bed, exercise, and find some work to do, even if it was volunteering. I especially like the first words of the chorus: “I’m pinned down in my bed again. I don’t think I could fly, I wouldn’t try.”

Before we get going, here’s a link to the song on youtube so you can hear it for yourself. It’s a pretty obscure one that you probably haven’t heard. I worked for a Christian music publisher from 1990-97 so I had access to a lot of obscure music back then. Makes me wonder what great obscure music I’m missing out on now.

“Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting

I’m here staring at a bird in a tree
Lying still, only wishing he were me
‘Cause for a bird it’s not a crime to try and satisfy
His bird belly hunger or fly the blue belly sky
And from his bird’s eye view
He can pick and he can choose
He doesn’t have to grieve his spirit no he doesn’t have to lose
a moment’s joy there in his nest no matter what his mess,
He can barrel out his chest and he can fly away…

CHORUS
But I’m pinned down in my bed again
I don’t think I could fly (I wouldn’t try)
If I was a bird I would be content
To peck along the ground
‘Cause I’m pinned down again…

I’m here staring at a bird on a limb
Lying still, only wishing I was him
‘Cause I could use a haven, a nest above my fate
Call it a rest from the chasing of my pillow and my plate
And for a bird it’s always right to love his appetite
He’s too dumb to know the struggle, too weak to know the fight
He can fly south when he gets cold, sing until he’s old
And on a whim he can unfold his wings and fly away

CHORUS

I’m here staring at a bird in the air
I wonder what I’d see if I looked down from there
I’d see a shattered temple, all its members in a sweat
Everyone’s been degraded, every sermon they forget
I’d see a man pulled from his bed by the same Hands of Love
That hung a cross around his neck
Just to remind him, remind him who he was…

CHORUS

So let’s take a look at the three verses and the chorus.

  • Verse 1: Isn’t it interesting to think about the lack of care and concern an animal seemingly feels for their existence. Almost everything they do seems to be motivated by instinct in the moment and without regard to the future. One of the powerful things I learned from the 17th Letter of C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters is that Satan wants to do whatever he can to keep us from living in the moment because it is the present that interfaces with God. We can’t interface with him in the past or in the future, but only in the given moment. It seems to me that that is an advantage animals have on us.
  • Verse 2: Favorite line from this verse: “He’s too dumb to know the struggle, too weak to know the fight.” Not that we don’t need to make reasonable plans for the future, but it is dangerous when we start to lose the freedom that God has for us now because we become immobilized by our fears or anticipation of the future. We can become a slave to is and sacrifice the present in the process. Again, learning from the impulsiveness of animals. “Consider the lillies of the field…”
  • Verse 3: What does the bird’s eye view of my life look like? What foolish perspectives do I have that vex God and frustrate Him with me? Most of all, we would see someone whom God truly loves, keeps trying to motivate, and sends back out into the world each day to be a witness to His glory, mercy, peace, and joy.
  • Chorus: Those days when I was unemployed (and even sometimes now), there were times when I literally just wanted to stay in bed all day. Thankfully, I started making myself get out and volunteer at a nonprofit a couple of times a week. I exercised like a fiend in order to get those endorphins going and my brain in the right place. I made myself send out “x” number of resumes a week so that I would feel like I was doing my part to try to find a job (and to show my wife I was trying). I love the image here of a bird with my heart and motivation being limited to pecking along the ground.

So what will my metaphoric bird look like this given Saturday. Where I live, it is cold and rainy today. Can’t really get outside and exercise or trim the bushes, like I planned. So what will I do to barrel out my chest, unfold my wings, and fly?

 
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Posted by on March 10, 2012 in Hymns and Songs

 

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