“Curtains” by Ed Sheeran
Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place, and you found me anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day
Hide and seek
I am somewhere closed away
You won’t believe
How long it’s been since we started the game
I can’t be seen
And you won’t find me today
I’ve not been
This low, but I’ll be okay
“Are you alright?” Maybe, don’t ask
‘Cause you know I never like to talk about that
Keep it inside, yeah, you say I always hold back
And I always wear long sleeves
Is it in your childhood? Somethin’ happen in your past?
Well, the sadness, yeah, I promise that it won’t last
And if I could, I would try to take it all back
There’s still more underneath and that’s when you say to me
“Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place and you found me, anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day”
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine
Hide and seek
Count to ten and close your eyes
Try to breathe
See a message and don’t reply
Nice to meet
But in reality, say goodbye
Life can be
So beautiful if you try
“Are you okay?” Yeah, I guess so
But on some days, I feel like I’m trapped in a hole
But I keep quiet, so the ones around me don’t know
That the mountain feels so steep
And I’ll say that I’m here to help to carry the load
And the outside rays, they are good for the soul
So let’s step out of the dark, ’cause in here, it’s so cold
The day’s not out of reach and that’s when you say to me
“Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine?
I think I’m done with my hidin’ place, and you found me anyway
It’s been forever, but I’m feelin’ alright
Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow’s another day”
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine, shine, shine
Let me see the sunshine
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Ed Sheeran / Aaron Dessner
Dear God, I was listening to this song yesterday, and while it wasn’t a day I felt like hiding and just staying in bed, I could certainly relate to the feeling. I do get it from time to time. There are times when I just want to hide away. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen often, and when it does it doesn’t last too long–usually just several hours. I’m very grateful for that. I know some who struggle more frequently and for longer periods of time, and I know it is hard for them. And for the young, I fear that the combination of social media and videogames can only enhance this desire to lock yourself away and disengage from society.
As I listened to this song the second and third time, it reminded me of a song that was very important to me back in 2003 and 2005 when I was unemployed for a while. It was an explicitly Christian song called “Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting.
“Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting
I’m here staring at a bird in a tree
Lying still, only wishing he were me
‘Cause for a bird it’s not a crime
To try and satisfy his bird belly hunger
Or fly the blue belly sky
And from his bird’s eye view
He can pick and he can choose
He doesn’t have to grieve his spirit
No he doesn’t have to lose a moment’s joy there in his nest
No matter what his mess, and he can barrel out his chest
And he can fly away…
But I’m pinned down in my bed again
I don’t think I could fly (I wouldn’t try)
If I was a bird I would be content
To peck along the ground
‘Cause I’m pinned down again…
I’m here staring at a bird on a limb
Lying still, only wishing I was him
‘Cause I could use a haven,
A nest above my fate
Call it a rest from the chasing of me pillow and my plate
And for a bird it’s always right to love his appetite
He’s too dumb to know the struggle, to weak to know the fight
He can fly south when he gets cold, sing until he’s old
And on a whim, he can unfold his wings
And fly away
I’m here staring at a bird in the air
I wonder what I’d see if I looked down from there
I’d see a shattered temple, all it’s members in a sweat
Everyone’s been degraded, every sermon they forget
I’d see a man pulled from his bed by the same Hands of Love
That hung a cross around his neck
Just to remind him, remind him who he was…
So I guess the question I need to ask myself is how do I keep from falling into too many of these moments? I don’t think they are 100% avoidable. But I do think I need to stay away from cancerous things that can cause me anxiety such as news and too much discourse that focuses on political discussion or any kind of discussion designed to produce anxiety in me. I need to make sure I am feeding myself scripture and listening to teaching and discussions that cause my heart and mind to dwell on you. I need to be about seeking reconciliation in relationships and forgiving others who I feel have wronged me. I need to read things that inspire me to be who you need me to be for your plan and want me to be for my sake. I need to serve others, starting with my wife and family. I need to pray and spend contemplative time with you. I need to worship and remember where I am in the pecking order of life.
Father, I give you this day. I’m grateful that you have a life of joy for me. Help me to live that out and then invite others into being reconciled and joyous with you.
I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,
Amen