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Tag Archives: Suicide

Grief, Support, and Judgment

Dear God, I just read an essay by Lisa Marie Presley as printed by People Magazine. It touched me on a few levels. It touched me as a parent who, in many ways, feels like I failed. It touched me as a parent who has been through the loss of a child (through miscarriage). It touched me as a parent who has felt judged by others for things that, on one hand, I judge myself, but, on the other hand, feel like they were due to circumstances beyond my control. It touched me as a fellow sojourner with Ms. Presley. She’s two years older than me. Her son was one year older than my son is now when he died.

One of the tragedies in our divided nation right now is that we tend to judge each other a lot more easily than we support each other. Even within your Church, we judge each other. I prayed the other day about whether or not people in different political parties were able to all be part of your Body at the same time. We can be mean, but I wonder how much of that meanness is fueled by our own insecurities, mourning, and sin. Ms. Presley mentioned the importance of support groups. She said that they didn’t take away the grief, but at least they took away some of the loneliness. I can see that. As a parent who struggled, I could have used more support group help.

I talked with someone yesterday who was struggling with her own parenting issues, both as a parent and as a grandparent. There’s real pain there. There was also a real sense that she didn’t know what to do next or how to respond to the situation at hand. She was doing the best she could in each moment–with each decision–trying to figure out what you need from her and her husband as spouses for each other, parents, and grandparents. It’s not easy.

Father, I could go on an on. I feel like I could probably type nonstop about this for at least an hour. More and more thoughts just keep coming into my head. But it comes down to this. I need–we need–the Holy Spirit to guide us beyond what we can see and help us to make the decisions that must be made in what is darkness to us, but complete light to you. Please help us. Help our children. Our grandchildren. Help us as spouses. Help us to mourn. Help us to use the mourning and the scars it leaves to take your light into the world–especially to others who mourn. Let us be your comfort to them. Fill their loneliness through our lives. And fill our loneliness through the lives of others. For the pain we are experiencing, please make it count. Make it count for your glory. And I’d also like to pray for Ms. Presley. Don’t let her pain be wasted. Use it in some way, even through this essay she beautifully wrote, to help someone. And ease her pain. Give her peace. Help her to find you and your heart in the midst of this and use her life for your glory.

I pray this through the power of Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection,

Amen

 

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Suicide Prevention Month

Dear God, I was scanning through The Athletic for some college football news (it’s Saturday, after all) and I found this video series on Suicide in college athletics and what some schools are doing to address mental health. I’ve put a link there. Since it is a pay site, I don’t know if people will be able to click on it or not. I would hope that that The Athletic would make the series freely available.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about suicide. It must pain you to see us in such pain. When you’re watching people attempt or succeed in taking their lives, are you weeping? I imagine you are. Our lives are so precious. Our time here is so short. It must be maximized, at least to some extent. To cut it short for any reason seems like a slap in the face.

But having been around enough people who have struggled, I can see how people would get to the point where they just give up. I never considered myself suicidal at the time, but looking back to some of the struggles I went through six years ago, I can tell you that there were times when I was on a bike ride that I would think that if a car were to hit me then the pain I was experiencing would be over. Even typing that makes it sound much more stark or powerful than the thought felt at the time. I would actually compare it more to the little thoughts Satan plants to tempt us. “Hey, wouldn’t it be nice.” No, sorry, Satan. You can’t get rid of me that easily. But he must have sensed that I was at a weak moment to throw that at me.

I’d like to sit here and come up with what is going through people’s minds when they are suicidal and then think about your response, but the truth is that I don’t know. I know that, for my own mental health, the best things that I do include these prayer journals to you and exercise. I know that when I put myself in the mindset that “I consider my life worth nothing to me,” (Acts 20:24a) then I start looking for ways to use my life for your glory and not give up because there is no glory for me. I know that when I am feeling good physically and getting the right hormones going through my brain then the brain you gave me responds and clears up a lot of bad thinking. You designed our bodies for motion and activity. You designed us to move, give, love, and serve. If we aren’t doing those things then our bodies will not respond correctly.

Of course, I’m not trying to minimize clinical depression or other forms of mental illness. I know that it’s not always as easy as just saying a prayer and hopping on a bicycle for some situations. But I also think that we are over consuming antidepressants in our country simply through lethargy and selfish, self-indulgent lifestyles.

Father, I pray over my own mental health, the mental health of my family, and the mental health of those who are in my sphere. Help me to be a source of your love and hope to them. I will spend some time with a friend later who is walking a dark road. Help me to know what to say and how to be there for him. Help me to love him. Help me to reveal your essence to him.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
 

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