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Emails to God – Spirit, Come Flush the Lies Out (Hebrews 10:32-36)

32 Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. 33 Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. 34 You suffered along with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. 35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.
36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Dear God, the phrase “joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property” in verse 34 caught my eye this morning. It reminds me of passion lost.

I was on a bike ride yesterday and listening to a song by Charlie Peacock called “Monkeys at the Zoo.” It’s a weird title, but here is the first verse:

Will it be different now, or the same
Will I have learned anything
Or was it just a way to spend a day or two
Set aside for thinking thoughts about You.
If that’s all it was, I had a good time…

One time I was on my way to a retreat when this song came on my radio. I realized how perfectly it describes the retreat/mountain top process. We often get off somewhere like that and really feel your presence, but do things change later? Will we have learned anything? So Charlie, in the chorus, purposes in his heart to do it right this time:

But that won’t be enough for me
Not this year, not anytime soon
I have got to clean house
Gotta make my bed, got clear my head
It’s getting kind of stuffy in here
Smell sorta funky too, like monkeys at the zoo
I’ve been whoring after things
Cuz I wanna feel safe inside
That’s a big fat lie
No amount of green, gold, or silver
Will ever take the place of the Peace of God
Spirit, come flush the lies out
Spirit, come flush the lies out

So I don’t know if I have any retreats in my near future, but I know I am in constant need of renewal. Father, help to renew my soul. Renew my spirit. Spirit, come flush the lies out. Spirit, come flush the lies out.

 
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Posted by on September 24, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Emails to God – Thank you for autumn rains (Joel 2:23)

23“Be glad, people of Zion, rejoice in the LORD your God, for he has given you the autumn rains because he is faithful. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and spring rains, as before.”

Dear God, it is good to be reminded to look for your goodness in the midst of trials. It is good to reminded of your gifts in the midst of stress. It is good to be reminded of your provision in the midst of worry and fear.

It has been a stressful week. My wife and I have both had a lot going on with our jobs. As I sit here on a Thursday morning, I am pretty spend. It is 6:20 and I have to speak at a Rotary Club meeting in about 30 minutes. The week has already taken a lot of my energy, and there is still much more to do. I didn’t sleep well at all because I was afraid of oversleeping for this presentation this morning—and I was a bit stressed because I knew I had to come into the office earlier than the presentation to pick up my handouts, which I forgot.

But this verse reminds me that I need to rejoice in you. It reminds me that you have given us autumn rains. In this case, you literally gave us autumn rains this last week, but you have given them to me figuratively as well. Frankly, it’s been a good week relationally with our children. That has been a nice reprieve from some of the combat we have done for a while. At work, I am strained about the donations coming in, but when I look back on the year, you have provided for us and continue to provide for us. You are good. You have brought us a good staff who works together for our patients. And you are still bringing us gifts. You have a retreat in store for my wife. You have given me a good, dependable job in the midst of economic chaos elsewhere.

Father, I will rejoice in you this morning. Please help me to not overlook all of the little things you do to bless me. Help me to see every place that your hand touches my life and to not take you for granted. I want to see you in everything around me. I want to be your blessing to others. I want to channel your Spirit to everyone I touch, including those to whom I will talk this morning. Be glorified in me so that others might rejoice in you and your good gifts as well.

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Emails to God – Ambition and Conceit (Philippians 2:3-4)

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 4Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Dear God, today has to be all about others. Nothing can be about me. Our organization is about to have a big party at which we will celebrate 20 years of your provision for those in our area who have no means for affordable healthcare. Since I am the current leader of the organization there is a tendency to give me too much of the credit for what we do. And, frankly, I have a tendency to take it.

But today and tonight must not be about me. There is no glory for you in that. I must remember to value all others above myself. I must not look to my own interests, but to the interest of our patients and all of those who work so hard to make our services available.

Father, help me to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Help me to be at peace and to work hard for your glory and the benefit of others. Help me to leave it all on the table today and ask or look for nothing in return. Thank you for what you have done for us through the years. Thank you for what you have done for our patients, volunteers and donors. You have made a difference in countless lives, and we are grateful for all that you do.

 
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Posted by on September 18, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Emails to God – Keeping Yourself Pure (Ephesians 5:1-20)

5 1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. 4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5 For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7 Therefore do not be partners with them.

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord. 11 Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 It is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light. 14 This is why it is said:

“Wake up, sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”

15 Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Dear God, something is happening with the Spirit within my house. Frankly, over the last several months (years?) I have felt like we have been under a very specific spiritual attack. It has surprised me. Probably what has surprised me the most is how I have seen the different ways that I was hurting my family that I didn’t realize. I was (and, I guess, am—although it is apparently getting better) critical and difficult to be around. My loud-ish personality and the popularity that comes with my job made it difficult for my family to be with me in public. And at home I think they never felt like they could do it right enough for me. It was hard for me to see at first, and now that I can see it, it has been hard for me to change. But I think I have done it slowly, but surely.

Now, I have started to feel a bit of a shift. Is it you moving? Is it something I can believe in? I am seeing my children responding to me a little differently. As if the change in me that I have been praying about over the last months and years is finally starting to take hold and they are starting to believe in it. My wife, being more mature, has allowed herself to believe in the change in me a little earlier, but the kids finally seem to be coming around.

One thing I am finding, however, is that I will need to be extra careful to guard my heart. I can see the positives that are happening and I know that Satan will attach in other areas. From where will his attacks come? Am I girded with your armor? Am I ready to follow verse 15 here, and live not as unwise but as wise?

Father, help me to be pure. Help me to have pure motives, thoughts, and deeds. And by pure, I mean help me to have your heart. I am sorry for the pain I unintentionally caused. I can only ask now that you will use it for your good in my life and my family’s life. Let your presence reign and help us to all submit ourselves to your authority and Spirit.

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Emails to God – Remembering to Thank God (Philippians 1:3)

3 I thank my God every time I remember you.

Dear God, my life is so beholden to different people. From my wife, to my family of origin, to donors, to volunteer, to staff, to my children, etc. My life is blessed many, many times over. But do I remember to thank you every time I remember these people? Do I remember to thank you whenever I think about the blessings you provide to me? Do I remember to give you the glory you deserve when I talk about the blessings in my life?

Father, there is so much for which I can be thankful. I have a patient wife who loves me richly. I have one or two good friends who speak your words to me. I have parents who bless me with love. I have a job where you have raised up people to work alongside us to do your will. Help me to be ever mindful of the grace you show me through all of these people. Help me to remember that you are the one from whom all blessings flow. And help me to remember to thank you for all of this because you are worthy of thanks and praise.

 
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Posted by on September 10, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Emails to God – Spirit-filled (Matthew 26:38)

“Stay here and watch with me.”

Dear God, Oswald Chambers’ commentary on this passage links it with Acts 2:4, when the Holy Spirit comes upon the faithful. His premise is that we cannot watch WITH YOU before we are Spirit-filled because we need to Spirit to better understand who you are. Until that happens, he says, the best we can really comprehend is the idea of you watching WITH US.

There is a step in there between making a decision to follow you and the moment that the Holy Spirit comes into us. Ideally it should happen at the same time, but I think that, sometimes, our hearts are not quite yet ready for it. Frankly, it’s a bit of a hazy mystery to me, but I can certainly see how it happened in my life.

I think part of the issue is that, at least in my life, I needed some additional maturity before I was ready to embrace the Holy Spirit. I was nine years old when I first asked you into my heart and became “saved”, but my soul was not yet ready to be Spirit-filled. I think you put a mark on me at that point, and I think that my soul was saved, but I was still too confused to really understand what watching WITH YOU meant. It wasn’t until I was seventeen that my life really transformed. I was finally ready to begin to accept your Lordship in my life. I was ready to accept the idea of you reaching me instead of me being able to reach you. I was ready to accept the idea of submission in a new way. At that point, in July 1987, I felt the Holy Spirit enter in.

Father, as I watch my children grow, neither of whom are yet even seventeen, I know that each of them made decisions to submit themselves to you and accept Jesus’ sacrifice for their sins at earlier ages. But now Satan is doing his best to make sure that the seeds planted then do not find fertile soil. He wants them to be eaten by the birds, choked by the thorns, or baked by the sun. So I pray that you will protect the soil of their hearts, and cultivate the parts that are vulnerable to Satan’s attacks. Help my wife and me to love them richly, even beyond what they see with our physical eyes. And, of course, protect our hearts as well. Spirit, move within us so that our hearts might be pure, united, and completely yours.

 

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Emails to God – Fanning the Flame

No verse

Dear God, I think the best preacher I have ever heard is a guy named Louie Giglio. He currently leads Passion Ministries out of Atlanta, but I first knew him when I was in college and he lead a weekly “Bible study” at Baylor. I put Bible study in quotes because it was really more of a church service on a Monday night than it was a Bible study. There were 600-800 people filling up the 7th and James Baptist Church sactuary, and it ran from 7-9pm. It was quite the experience, and, frankly, better than church on Sunday. Louie always seemed to be “on” and I could listent to him preach for an hour and never look at my watch.

I mention this because I took a bike ride this weekend and listened to one of Louie’s podcasts. It wasn’t preaching, but there he was just being enthusiastic and fired up for you. His ministry is called “Passion”, and it is aptly named because his passion for you never seems to dim. I was thinking as I listened to him speak, How does he keep his fire burning so consistently?

I know part of it is regular prayer, but I think the other parts are regular time with other believers and regular mountain top experiences. I think it is true that a piece of charcoal that is left with other coals will burn longer than the coal that is left alone. I think this has been the biggest thing I have missed since I have lived here. I have not found any men with whom I can bond spiritually. I have visited close to fifteen churches and haven’t found one that really inspires me. I feel a lot like a coal that is fighting to fan my little flame, but there just isn’t enough cumulative heat to keep it going.

Father, help me to surround myself in a life that will fuel this fire. Help me to find you in my journey. Help me to feel your presence, not only through my wife, but also through friends, church, work, etc. I don’t know that what I am doing is sustainable. I’ve kept the fire going for the almost seven years we’ve lived here, but is it really burning to the point where I am being effective as a husband, father, employee, and friend?

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2012 in Musings and Stories

 

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Emails to God – Works vs. Relationship (Luke 10:20)

Luke 10:20 – Do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.
“Jesus Christ is saying here, ‘Don’t rejoice in your successful service for Me, but rejoice because of your right relationship with Me.’” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Dear God, but the “works” feel so good, and they look so good. It feels good to look back on a day and know that I have done good things. I like having people being able to see the good things I do. I like feeling their adulation. I like feeling like I am pleasing you. But that’s not what it’s all about. In fact, It is the addiction to that feeling of having done good that has caused me some of my biggest problems. How does it cause problems. Because I start to pursue the adulation instead of pursuing you and the peace that comes from being in right relationship with you.

I have had different jobs in my pre- and post-college career. Some have been for Christian organizations and a couple have been with secular ones. It is interesting, but I think I found it easier to have a right relationship with you when I worked in a secular environment. It was easier when my vocation and my desire to do well at work didn’t get mixed up with how others see me living out my spiritual life. Not that I didn’t try to work to your glory in the secular environment, but I was able to point to the difference in how I did my job as an example of my love for you. Here, in my current job, I am expected to do good works and be an example for you.

Father, while I want to integrate my faith into every part of my life, including my work, I need your help to separate my work from my identity in you. I need you to help me be at peace in you instead of pursuing public glory for the things I do for you. Help me to find those lines and to embrace you as my provider, my king, and my God.

 

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Emails to God – Teach Me to Pray (My Utmost for His Highest, August 28 – By Oswald Chambers)

“Prayer is not a normal part of the life of the natural man. We hear it said that a person’s life will suffer if he doesn’t pray, but I question that. What will suffer is the life of the Son of God in him, which is nourished not by food, but by prayer.”

Dear God, there is a fine line between my life and your life. Mr. Chambers makes an interesting distinction here in this regard. He is positing that the life of John Willome will be just fine without prayer. My own selfishness will flourish. My ability to indulge my own whims will be unchecked. In fact, the only checks on my life at all will be in how my life ends up relating to those around me—my wife, children, coworkers, etc. What will suffer is your life in me.

I think I am learning more and more that our lives, yours and mine, are mutually exclusive. I cannot embrace my selfishness and embrace you at the same time, so when I embrace you in times of prayer like this (and I mean truly submit myself to you and embrace you—not just praying without thought or emotion) then I have to let go of myself, at least for that time period. So the more I pray the more I let go of myself. The more I let go of myself then the more your life will replace mine. The more your life replaces mine the more Christ-like I become. The more Christ-like I become the more I will be at peace and you will receive glory.

Father, help me to be a more continual prayer. Help me to pray in the middle of conversations. Help me to pray while I drive, while I work, while I think in the middle of the day. Help me to pray as I husband my wife. Help me to pray as I parent my children. Help me to pray as I work in my office, or directly with patients, staff, volunteers, and donors. Help me to continuously turn loose of my own life so that yours might flourish within me.

 

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Emails to God – Surviving the Darkness (John 12:20-35)

20 Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the festival. 21 They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. “Sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” 22 Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus.

23 Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24 Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

27 “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name!”
Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.” 29 The crowd that was there and heard it said it had thundered; others said an angel had spoken to him.

30 Jesus said, “This voice was for your benefit, not mine. 31 Now is the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out. 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33 He said this to show the kind of death he was going to die.

34 The crowd spoke up, “We have heard from the Law that the Messiah will remain forever, so how can you say, ‘The Son of Man must be lifted up’? Who is this ‘Son of Man’?”

35 Then Jesus told them, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where they are going. 36 Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light.” When he had finished speaking, Jesus left and hid himself from them.

Dear God, it was the Greeks’ request that started this speech. I’m sitting here and trying to find the connection between their request to see Jesus and his response, which ended with him hiding himself from everyone there.

As I sit here and try to hear your voice on this, the thought that is occurring to me is the idea that he was getting exasperated by the hype and wanted to bring everyone back to reality a little. He even includes the words in verse 27 when he says, “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour…” The Greeks, as well as the others there, thought they were jumping on a fun bandwagon. Little did they know that a dark moon was rising.

Although it is nothing like the darkness that Jesus experienced, or even that others experience around me, I have felt like I have been under a dark moon over the last three years. It started with the end of my mother-in-law’s life and has brought difficult challenges at both work and home. I think the important thing for me to remember is the reason for these difficult times in our lives. Jesus says it at the end of verse 27 and in verse 28 when he says, “No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”

Father, there is terrible suffering in the world—much worse than anything I have experienced. But I am convinced that one of the key outcomes of anyone’s suffering is that you would glorify your name through it. Whether it be through the saved marriage, the renewed life that goes through repentance, the damaged person who is healed, or the poverty that one survives. Of course, there are unspeakably horrible tragedies like human trafficking, sexual assault, and things of that ilk. I don’t know what to do with these awful things, but to hope that you are there too, trying to redeem the victims and glorify your name to all who are around. So help us to live in that joy, regardless of whether or not there is any joy in our situations.

 

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