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Emails to God – Joseph & Mary (Matthew 1:18-19)

18 This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. 19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

Dear God, who knows why you have us each here? I am sure that Joseph grew up just being a nice guy and faithful to the people around him. I am sure that he never imagined you could have such a purpose for him like raising your son. He was just minding his own business, getting engaged when he found out something horrific. His fiancé was pregnant. He knew he wasn’t the father. His assumption was that he had been betrayed by her. He was “faithful to the law”, so he could have publicly divorced her and separated himself from this scandal in an effort to save his reputation and even his business. Yet he did not want to expose her to public disgrace so he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

I so admire this man. I absolutely admire this man. What humility! He was absolutely willing to take it on the chin for this woman (girl) in the midst of apparent betrayal. I can’t imagine the emotions raging inside of him, and yet he decided to not expose her to public disgrace. What a man.

Am I willing to take it on the chin for others? Am I willing to show mercy in the face of my own suffering? Am I willing to love someone beyond the pain that they cause me?

Father, thank you for Joseph. I am attending a Catholic church right now, and I know that Mary is revered there, but I think Joseph is right up there with her. He made some extraordinary decisions, and he made them BEFORE he got his angel visit. He was a special man, and I hope that I can look back on my life one day and feel like I lived my life in a way that was as faithful to you as his was.

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2011 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Re: Tim Tebow (no verse)

Dear God, since I finished Genesis a couple of days ago, I have been trying to figure out where to go next with my prayer journals. Should I break into new territory and go and do books I have done before? This morning I checked out 1 Chronicles, but the first 9 chapters were lists of names and genealogies. Now, I know that there is probably something in there for me, but not today. By the time 1 Chronicles picks up the narrative it is in chapter 10, and it starts with Saul being killed and David becoming king. It mentions that you withdrew from Saul because of his sin, but you were with David and he had success.

That made my think of Tim Tebow. You know that he has been pretty maligned as a quarterback. He has a lot of athletic talent, but very little quarterback ability. It’s weird because all of the sports announces and analyzers sit around and talk about what an awful quarterback he is, and on paper it seems that they are right. The offense looks ugly and he doesn’t seem to be able to play the position in a classic quarterback way. The other thing that every announcer will tell you is that he is a man of great Christian faith and character, and they have no qualms with him personally or off of the field.

The weird thing is that he wins. In fact, his team did something this last Sunday that no team has done in NFL history. They came back from being scoreless through the first 57 minutes of play and down by 15 to win the game by 3 in overtime. Apparently, there was a critical two-point conversion during which the defense called timeout and the players still feel like they had the wrong personnel on the field to stop the play they expected. Confusion.

As I was driving around and listening to the sports announcers talk about what an awful quarterback Tebow is and how improbable the win was, I couldn’t help but think back to some of the stories of Gideon, David, and the like. Now, I am the first to say that I don’t think you care who wins a football game. If you did, then I am convinced that Baylor would win a lot more than it does. However, I couldn’t help but think this week that if the Bible were still being written today, there might just be a chapter in a book somewhere about this faithful man of God named Tim Tebow, through whom God used his athletic abilities to draw attention to the needs for mission work in the Philippines, Africa, etc.

Father, I guess my point is that I think you might be working in the details of more situations than I would normally think. I look at the donations for our clinic in September. We had a great month because of two extraordinary donations: One for $25,000 and one for $7,000. Both were more than these people had given before. I could look at those and say, “Boy, aren’t we lucky to get those,” or I could look at them and say, “Wow, God worked supernaturally to provide for our needs. Praise be to God.” I hope that I will say the latter more and more often as I become aware of how much you are truly providing for us every step of the way.

 
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Posted by on October 26, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Emails to God – Prayer Requests (No Verse)

Dear God, our Center received two prayer requests from patients today, and I want to focus on them this morning instead of figuring out where I will go next since I finished Genesis yesterday.

The first one is from a woman who has been to our clinic a few times. She has a hurt knee, for which she needs your healing, but she also asks for prayer for her family, including for “my husband to stop using drugs.” Her prayer broke my heart because it is one thing to face the frustrations of physical pain, money, etc., but it is another thing to be in a situation with a family member where you feel like they are out of control and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Some will ask why she doesn’t just leave him, but it is likely that she cannot afford to leave him. She needs your help. He needs your help. She doesn’t mention children, but if they have children then they need your help. Please be with this woman and her knee. Lead her to healing, whether you provide it through us or your Spirit just moves through her body and heals her supernaturally, provide for her healing. Relieve her pain and help her to be able to fully work. And then I pray for her husband, her, and her family, and how they all interact. It is hard to know how you can help them, but I pray that you will be able to be there for him. Make him the man you need him to be. Help him to turn loose of drugs and other things that he thinks can provide a peace and joy that only you can truly provide. Help him to be at peace, and use this entire situation as an opportunity for him to find you and then bring glory to your name through his life’s transformation.

The second one was from a man who, coincidentally, is recovering from alcohol/drug addiction. His prayer request is for “balance in [his] life with work and personal growth.” He is having trouble because he cannot make enough per hour to make ends meet for his family. He says he doesn’t want to work 60-80 hours per week because that tends to get him out of balance. Frankly, God, with the way the economy is going, there is a faithless part of me that doesn’t know if you can answer this one, but the truth is that I know you can. I know you can help this man in his recovery and you can provide for his family’s needs. He also asks for prayers for his kids. So I do, God. I pray for this man’s recovery, that it will continue and that he will be strong in you. I pray for his job, that you will somehow multiply his income like Jesus did the fishes and loaves. I pray that you will love and parent his children through him and through their mother. Like the other family, use this as an opportunity to show up in their lives and reverse what could be generations of curses and vices that have passed down. Encourage this man. Give him hope. Give him your peace. Help him to bask in the middle of your presence.

 

 
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Posted by on October 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Emails to God – The End of Genesis (Genesis 50:22-26)

22 Joseph stayed in Egypt, along with all his father’s family. He lived a hundred and ten years 23 and saw the third generation of Ephraim’s children. Also the children of Makir son of Manasseh were placed at birth on Joseph’s knees.

24 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am about to die. But God will surely come to your aid and take you up out of this land to the land he promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.” 25 And Joseph made the Israelites swear an oath and said, “God will surely come to your aid, and then you must carry my bones up from this place.”

26 So Joseph died at the age of a hundred and ten. And after they embalmed him, he was placed in a coffin in Egypt.

Dear God, I wonder what kept the Israelites from going ahead and taking off back for their homes. Why didn’t they leave Egypt? Were they afraid they had been away too long and wouldn’t be welcomed back to their own land? Were they happy in Goshen and saw no reason to leave? I supposed this would have been the time to leave if they were ever going to do it. Why didn’t they?

I also wonder what Joseph died from. He obviously died before a lot of his brothers, and he died comparatively young when you consider how old everyone else was living. So did he get sick from a disease? Probably. Funny, but we don’t often think of a Biblical character’s cause of death. They just die because they didn’t have a lot of doctors going around giving an accurate diagnosis.

As I finish off Genesis with this passage, I suppose the overarching message of the book is that you had a plan, you placed the fate of your plan in very fallible people (from Adam, to Noah, to Abraham, to Jacob, etc.), and your plan somehow endures until this day. Is every date in here correct? Every story precise? I doubt it. But there is certainly a sense that you were there, you are here, and it is going to be okay in the long run.

Father, help me to sense your presence over my very flawed life. Help me to turn loose of the need to get everything perfect and simply let you live through me. Bless others through me, even though there are times when I am not tuned into you. Move beyond my abilities into a place in my life where you live through me even beyond my ability to consciously channel you. I am a fool, and I know your plan if foolproof. Let your plan reign.

 
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Posted by on October 24, 2011 in Genesis

 

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Emails to God – Testing Forgiveness (Genesis 50:15-21)

15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” 16 So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: 17 ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept.

18 His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said.

19 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

Dear God, this family was deceptive until the end. These guys are awful. Up until now there is no indication that they had told Jacob what really happened to Joseph way back when (although this story intimates he found out somewhere along the way). But here they are lying to him and telling him that their father (whom Joseph loved) gave him instructions that he never gave. In fact, if Jacob were really to have given those instructions, wouldn’t he have more likely given them directly to Joseph than gone through the boys?

On the other side of this is the fact that Joseph was able to see beyond the pain of his situation and even any anger he had towards you for the way your plan unfolded. He accepted the suffering. He accepted the trials. Now, would he have accepted it if things hadn’t worked out so well for him in the end? Probably not, but it would still have been easy for him to not let his scars heal and hold on to the pain and bitterness.

Father, I still have grudges against people that I have got to let go of. In fact, while I was writing this my wife talked about some physical symptoms she felt during a recent illness, and it reminded me of a woman in this town who has done some things to hurt me because she is basically afflicted by the same symptoms on a constant basis but she doesn’t realize it. So when the thought of her crossed my mind I was instantly angry. So I still have issues. I still have grudges. Give me your perspective on these things and give me healing because I am, frankly, the only one they really hurt, and yet the feel so good to hold on to.

 
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Posted by on October 22, 2011 in Genesis

 

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Emails to God – A Lesson in Mourning (Genesis 50:1-14)

1 Joseph threw himself on his father and wept over him and kissed him. 2 Then Joseph directed the physicians in his service to embalm his father Israel. So the physicians embalmed him, 3 taking a full forty days, for that was the time required for embalming. And the Egyptians mourned for him seventy days.

4 When the days of mourning had passed, Joseph said to Pharaoh’s court, “If I have found favor in your eyes, speak to Pharaoh for me. Tell him, 5 ‘My father made me swear an oath and said, “I am about to die; bury me in the tomb I dug for myself in the land of Canaan.” Now let me go up and bury my father; then I will return.’”

6 Pharaoh said, “Go up and bury your father, as he made you swear to do.”

7 So Joseph went up to bury his father. All Pharaoh’s officials accompanied him—the dignitaries of his court and all the dignitaries of Egypt— 8 besides all the members of Joseph’s household and his brothers and those belonging to his father’s household. Only their children and their flocks and herds were left in Goshen. 9 Chariots and horsemen also went up with him. It was a very large company.

10 When they reached the threshing floor of Atad, near the Jordan, they lamented loudly and bitterly; and there Joseph observed a seven-day period of mourning for his father. 11 When the Canaanites who lived there saw the mourning at the threshing floor of Atad, they said, “The Egyptians are holding a solemn ceremony of mourning.” That is why that place near the Jordan is called Abel Mizraim.

12 So Jacob’s sons did as he had commanded them: 13 They carried him to the land of Canaan and buried him in the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre, which Abraham had bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite. 14 After burying his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, together with his brothers and all the others who had gone with him to bury his father.

Dear God, it strikes me in this story that Joseph officially mourned his father’s passing for at least 90 days (70 days of mourning in Egypt, a couple of weeks traveling to the burial site, and then a solid week after they arrived before they placed him with his fathers. There were probably more days in there than that, but we know from this account that it was at least 90 days.

My wife described the Jewish traditions for mourning death several years ago, and I remember her telling me that their tradition seems to have a much more realistic and healthy way of mourning. Without remembering the details, what I do remember is that they give the person who lost their loved one a long time to get over it. They are given space, and even permission, to grieve.

When my wife lost her mother almost 20 months ago she went into her mother’s death expecting to be prepared and adjusted because her mother had been sick for a while. She is continually surprised that she still feels the pain so acutely this many months later. She feels like she should be over it by now. She thought the pain would be, if not gone, then almost totally diminished much sooner than this.

Then, a few weeks ago, my brother-in-law lost his father. He had been sick for a while as well, and yet I think it surprised him to see how hard it was for him to lose his father.

Father, I think that our modern American Christian culture needs to learn how to mourn the loss of our loved ones. There is probably something we can learn from other cultures, including the Jews. In fact, I just found this web site that outlines the Jewish mourning process: http://www.uscj.org/soeast/columbus/mourning_custom.htm Help me to be the resource that my friends and family need me to be in their times of mourning, and help me in my times of mourning. Be glorified in me and give all of us peace as we make our ways through life.

 
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Posted by on October 21, 2011 in Genesis

 

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Emails to God – The Death of Jacob (Genesis 49:29-33)

29 Then he gave them these instructions: “I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite, 30 the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite. 31 There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah. 32 The field and the cave in it were bought from the Hittites.”

33 When Jacob had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people.

Dear God, this isn’t that important, but I think it is interesting that Jacob will end up being buried with Leah and not Rachel. I’m surprised he didn’t give instructions to have Rachel moved too since where he was buried was so important to him. Anyway, it isn’t important, I don’t think. Just interesting.

I wonder how each of the sons felt when Jacob died. I am sure the ones who were cursed by him at the end were conflicted between loving their father, hating their father, and the sense of knowing that they would never be able to earn their father’s respect back because he was gone. I’m sure that Joseph and Benjamin really grieved in a more pure way, simply loving their father and missing him.

Yesterday was my mother-in-law’s birthday. She passed away just over 19 months ago, and it was a hard day for my wife. Even though there were things about her mother that frustrated her (who doesn’t have things about their parents that frustrate them?), she deeply loved her mother. Of course, there were some areas where my wife felt like she didn’t live up to her mother’s expectations and those are things that she will now have to come to terms with on her own and not ever have them physically resolved with her mother.

Father, that leaves me to my role and responsibility as a father to my children. How have I cursed them? How have I made them feel like they don’t measure up—all in the name of trying to mold them into the people they need to be for life. I know I have scarred them, and that thought kills me. I know they have wounds from me that will never fully heal, no matter how much I try. We all carry those wounds around. We all carry those scars. They are a little like the scars that I can see on my skin from childhood. They aren’t anyone’s fault, but I will forever have a reminder of that bicycle accident when I was 11-years-old because I can see the scar on my right knee. So help me to not scar my children anymore, and help me to bless them and not curse them so that they might live lives that are both submitted to you and in peace.

 
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Posted by on October 19, 2011 in Genesis

 

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Emails to God – Deathbed Curses (Genesis 49:5-28)

5 “Simeon and Levi are brothers—

their swords are weapons of violence.

6 Let me not enter their council,

let me not join their assembly,

for they have killed men in their anger

and hamstrung oxen as they pleased.

7 Cursed be their anger, so fierce,

and their fury, so cruel!

I will scatter them in Jacob

and disperse them in Israel.

8 “Judah, your brothers will praise you;

your hand will be on the neck of your enemies;

your father’s sons will bow down to you.

9 You are a lion’s cub, Judah;

you return from the prey, my son.

Like a lion he crouches and lies down,

like a lioness—who dares to rouse him?

10 The scepter will not depart from Judah,

nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet,

until he to whom it belongs shall come

and the obedience of the nations shall be his.

11 He will tether his donkey to a vine,

his colt to the choicest branch;

he will wash his garments in wine,

his robes in the blood of grapes.

12 His eyes will be darker than wine,

his teeth whiter than milk.

13 “Zebulun will live by the seashore

and become a haven for ships;

his border will extend toward Sidon.

14 “Issachar is a rawboned donkey

lying down among the sheep pens.

15 When he sees how good is his resting place

and how pleasant is his land,

he will bend his shoulder to the burden

and submit to forced labor.

16 “Dan will provide justice for his people

as one of the tribes of Israel.

17 Dan will be a snake by the roadside,

a viper along the path,

that bites the horse’s heels

so that its rider tumbles backward.

18 “I look for your deliverance, LORD.

19 “Gad[i] will be attacked by a band of raiders,

but he will attack them at their heels.

20 “Asher’s food will be rich;

he will provide delicacies fit for a king.

21 “Naphtali is a doe set free

that bears beautiful fawns.

22 “Joseph is a fruitful vine,

a fruitful vine near a spring,

whose branches climb over a wall.

23 With bitterness archers attacked him;

they shot at him with hostility.

24 But his bow remained steady,

his strong arms stayed limber,

because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob,

because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,

25 because of your father’s God, who helps you,

because of the Almighty, who blesses you

with blessings of the skies above,

blessings of the deep springs below,

blessings of the breast and womb.

26 Your father’s blessings are greater

than the blessings of the ancient mountains,

than the bounty of the age-old hills.

Let all these rest on the head of Joseph,

on the brow of the prince among his brothers.

27 “Benjamin is a ravenous wolf;

in the morning he devours the prey,

in the evening he divides the plunder.”

28 All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said to them when he blessed them, giving each the blessing appropriate to him.

Dear God, I told my wife this morning, “Isn’t it interesting to call your children to you on your deathbed and curse half of them.” Now, I didn’t do the numbers and see that it was half, but really, do you really need to curse any of your children on your deathbed?

I am continuously amazed at how the little comments I make, usually in jest, are taken as damning curses by my children. Since I have seen the results of my teasing, I am so much better about it than I used to be, but I still let things slip, looking for the joke—even at their expense. Just this weekend my son mentioned something that I said in front of my parents that was rude. I would have thought that I hadn’t done anything on that trip to their house that hurt my kids, but when he gave me his example he was right.

Father, my desire is to only speak blessings over my children—both directly and indirectly. I want them to feel not only loved by me, but also blessed by me. Help me to use my words in a positive way to encourage and bless them. Help me to love them richly. Love them through me. Show me where I am foolish. Show me where I need to encourage them to do better through a blessing instead of relegating them to a life of giving into their vices through a curse. I do not want to live verse 28, giving each the blessing appropriate to him or her. I want to give the blessing that you want them to live into. You do not want them to live into their negative qualities. You want them to live into your calling for them. Help me to see that and to give them that blessing as their father.

 
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Posted by on October 18, 2011 in Genesis

 

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Emails to God – Jacob Prefers to Bless the Second-Born (Genesis 48)

1 Some time later Joseph was told, “Your father is ill.” So he took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim along with him. 2 When Jacob was told, “Your son Joseph has come to you,” Israel rallied his strength and sat up on the bed.

3 Jacob said to Joseph, “God Almighty appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and there he blessed me 4 and said to me, ‘I am going to make you fruitful and increase your numbers. I will make you a community of peoples, and I will give this land as an everlasting possession to your descendants after you.’

5 “Now then, your two sons born to you in Egypt before I came to you here will be reckoned as mine; Ephraim and Manasseh will be mine, just as Reuben and Simeon are mine. 6 Any children born to you after them will be yours; in the territory they inherit they will be reckoned under the names of their brothers. 7 As I was returning from Paddan, to my sorrow Rachel died in the land of Canaan while we were still on the way, a little distance from Ephrath. So I buried her there beside the road to Ephrath” (that is, Bethlehem).

8 When Israel saw the sons of Joseph, he asked, “Who are these?”

9 “They are the sons God has given me here,” Joseph said to his father.

Then Israel said, “Bring them to me so I may bless them.”

10 Now Israel’s eyes were failing because of old age, and he could hardly see. So Joseph brought his sons close to him, and his father kissed them and embraced them.

11 Israel said to Joseph, “I never expected to see your face again, and now God has allowed me to see your children too.”

12 Then Joseph removed them from Israel’s knees and bowed down with his face to the ground. 13 And Joseph took both of them, Ephraim on his right toward Israel’s left hand and Manasseh on his left toward Israel’s right hand, and brought them close to him. 14 But Israel reached out his right hand and put it on Ephraim’s head, though he was the younger, and crossing his arms, he put his left hand on Manasseh’s head, even though Manasseh was the firstborn.

15 Then he blessed Joseph and said,

“May the God before whom my fathers

Abraham and Isaac walked faithfully,

the God who has been my shepherd

all my life to this day,

16 the Angel who has delivered me from all harm

—may he bless these boys.

May they be called by my name

and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac,

and may they increase greatly

on the earth.”

17 When Joseph saw his father placing his right hand on Ephraim’s head he was displeased; so he took hold of his father’s hand to move it from Ephraim’s head to Manasseh’s head. 18 Joseph said to him, “No, my father, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head.”

19 But his father refused and said, “I know, my son, I know. He too will become a people, and he too will become great. Nevertheless, his younger brother will be greater than he, and his descendants will become a group of nations.” 20 He blessed them that day and said,

“In your name will Israel pronounce this blessing:

‘May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.’”

So he put Ephraim ahead of Manasseh.

21 Then Israel said to Joseph, “I am about to die, but God will be with you and take you back to the land of your fathers. 22 And to you I give one more ridge of land than to your brothers, the ridge I took from the Amorites with my sword and my bow.”

Dear God, I think Jacob was somewhat predisposed to honor the younger brother over the oldest brother. After all, he was the second-born. His father was also the second-born. And we’ll see later that, among his sons, he will not pass his blessing to his firstborn, Reuben, but it will go to Judah.

The idea of the firstborn is interesting. I didn’t appreciate it as much until I was a parent. Now, I look at my children and I think I expect more of my son because he is older. I expect him to lead more. I expect him to be more responsible. I expect him to set an example for his sister. I have heard it said that no two children are born to the same parents. That is true. I know that I treat my children differently from each other.

It is also interesting to see how my wife and I treat the kids based on our own childhoods (much like Jacob). For example, my wife is the oldest in her family so I think she tends to take our son’s side in arguments with his sister because she can better see his perspective. My daughter and I are both youngest children, so I tend to have more sympathy for her when she argues with her brother. This has caused a lot of conflict between my son and me, and I can see his point. I can definitely see why oldest, middle, and youngest children (not to mention only children) fit into stereotypes. We definitely have life factors that shape who we are.

Father, I want to be the most impartial parent I can be. I want to be exactly who you need my children to have as a father. I want to give you glory in their lives. I want to guide them to you. I want you to use me to shape their character and their interest in submitting their lives to you. I want you to help me to see where I am foolish in how I treat them differently from each other simply because of their age and birth order. Undo the damage I have already done, and give us all grace as we learn to trust you more.

 

 
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Posted by on October 14, 2011 in Genesis

 

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Emails to God – Jacob Always Worshiped God (Genesis 47:28-31)

28 Jacob lived in Egypt seventeen years, and the years of his life were a hundred and forty-seven. 29 When the time drew near for Israel to die, he called for his son Joseph and said to him, “If I have found favor in your eyes, put your hand under my thigh and promise that you will show me kindness and faithfulness. Do not bury me in Egypt, 30 but when I rest with my fathers, carry me out of Egypt and bury me where they are buried.”

“I will do as you say,” he said.

31 “Swear to me,” he said. Then Joseph swore to him, and Israel worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

Dear God, one thing I have to say for Jacob (because, on the whole, I don’t have a whole lot of respect for his character) is that he worshiped you until the end. He never forgot you. He recognized you and worshiped you all of the days of his life. He worshiped you in times of wealth and he worshiped you in times of despair. He could be unscrupulous, a terrible father/husband, a wicked brother, etc., but there was a part of him that knew that he had better be submitted to you. I think, in the end, he remembered that you were bigger than him.

I attended an interesting class last night where they talked about the history of the Christian church from Jesus until now. Granted, they fit it all into the span of less than an hour, so some parts were missed, but it was interesting for me to hear how things morphed over time. Generationally, I think that some in the church (especially about 600 or 700 years ago) started to think that the church was bigger than you. Protests came and soon reform at every level followed. The church can be a beautiful thing with the person leading it is submitted to you, but if that person ever starts to feel bigger than you then bad things can happen. Terrible things can happen.

So how am I doing? Do I feel bigger than you? I think there are times when I take control. It isn’t conscious. It is just how I respond in the heat of battle. I get wounded or stressed, so I circle the wagons, maybe lash out at someone in judgment, and do my best to pacify my emotional self instead of allowing for your grace to flow through me. For example, a woman called me yesterday who doesn’t like me. She called to accuse our clinic of doing something that she didn’t agree with (treating a potential patient badly). This woman is not well mentally or physically, and, frankly, she is usually spoiling for a fight with me. Well, I tried to remain as polite as I could on the phone with her, but then I took an opportunity later to tell a couple of staff people about the phone call and how wronged I was by her. Why did I do it? Insecurity. Hurt. Anger. Scars leftover from our previous encounters. But if I were truly letting you live through me then her phone call could have just stayed with me and I wouldn’t have felt the need to denigrate her to others.

Father, forgive me for my treatment of this woman. Going back to her physical/mental issues, she is not well and not completely responsible for her actions, yet I treat her like she is fully functioning and capable of meeting me on equal ground. That is so wrong. I should be extending her more grace than I do to others, not less. So help me to look on this woman in love. Help me to extend her more grace than I have in myself, but grace that can only come from you. Help me to be your submitted servant all of the days of my life. I am prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. I am prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, Lord, take a seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2011 in Genesis

 

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