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Tag Archives: Jesus

Emails to God – Surviving the Darkness (John 12:20-35)

20 Now there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the festival. 21 They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, with a request. “Sir,” they said, “we would like to see Jesus.” 22 Philip went to tell Andrew; Andrew and Philip in turn told Jesus.

23 Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24 Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

27 “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name!”
Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and will glorify it again.” 29 The crowd that was there and heard it said it had thundered; others said an angel had spoken to him.

30 Jesus said, “This voice was for your benefit, not mine. 31 Now is the time for judgment on this world; now the prince of this world will be driven out. 32 And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” 33 He said this to show the kind of death he was going to die.

34 The crowd spoke up, “We have heard from the Law that the Messiah will remain forever, so how can you say, ‘The Son of Man must be lifted up’? Who is this ‘Son of Man’?”

35 Then Jesus told them, “You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. Whoever walks in the dark does not know where they are going. 36 Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light.” When he had finished speaking, Jesus left and hid himself from them.

Dear God, it was the Greeks’ request that started this speech. I’m sitting here and trying to find the connection between their request to see Jesus and his response, which ended with him hiding himself from everyone there.

As I sit here and try to hear your voice on this, the thought that is occurring to me is the idea that he was getting exasperated by the hype and wanted to bring everyone back to reality a little. He even includes the words in verse 27 when he says, “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour…” The Greeks, as well as the others there, thought they were jumping on a fun bandwagon. Little did they know that a dark moon was rising.

Although it is nothing like the darkness that Jesus experienced, or even that others experience around me, I have felt like I have been under a dark moon over the last three years. It started with the end of my mother-in-law’s life and has brought difficult challenges at both work and home. I think the important thing for me to remember is the reason for these difficult times in our lives. Jesus says it at the end of verse 27 and in verse 28 when he says, “No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!”

Father, there is terrible suffering in the world—much worse than anything I have experienced. But I am convinced that one of the key outcomes of anyone’s suffering is that you would glorify your name through it. Whether it be through the saved marriage, the renewed life that goes through repentance, the damaged person who is healed, or the poverty that one survives. Of course, there are unspeakably horrible tragedies like human trafficking, sexual assault, and things of that ilk. I don’t know what to do with these awful things, but to hope that you are there too, trying to redeem the victims and glorify your name to all who are around. So help us to live in that joy, regardless of whether or not there is any joy in our situations.

 

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Emails to God – Too Much Vulnerability? (Matthew 6:5-8)

5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Dear God, I think one of the areas where I get myself into difficulty is that I don’t like to put a gloss on how things are going. When people ask me how things are going at work, I never want to just give a nice, “Oh, just great,” unless things are going great. Same thing for my personal life. My experience is that people get more out of my vulnerability and confessions of weakness as opposed to me trying to make everything look perfect.

So why does that get me into difficulty? Well, there are times when I think I might make things sound worse than they really are. There are also times when the people around me are expecting me to lead them through a difficult time and they need me to display confidence and a positive attitude. I know there have been times when I shared too much of my fears with my children—such as when I was unemployed back in 2003 and 2005. They needed to feel a little more security through those times than I gave them. In an effort to be vulnerable and transparent, I think I shared too much.

How does that fit with this passage? Because the way I can justify praying to you through this blog and sharing it with the readers even though this verse discourages it is because I am not trying to impress anyone with what a grand prayer or Christian I am. I try to mention my faults in here. I try to mention my fears and vulnerabilities. But then I think people sometimes read it and start to get worried about me. I had a friend one time stop and ask me if I was okay. I said, “Yes. I’m really doing well. It is actually very therapeutic to journal prayers this way.” I then said, “You should try it some time. You’d be surprised by what comes out.”

Father, I don’t want to be a babbling pagan. I just want to have a life that is open to you in prayer. I want to find time in my day to stop and listen to your still small voice. I want you to use this blog to let others know that they are not alone. There is a fellow sojourner who struggles, questions, cries out, overcomes, and lives in victory with you. I want people to see something in Scripture that they might not have seen before. And I want others to have a look inside me and see beneath any veneer that I might intentionally or unintentionally put up around me. Be glorified through me in this process. Help me to decrease as you increase.

 

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Emails to God – Exercise and Prayer (Matthew 5:3)

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Dear God, it is so difficult to understand why I cannot be more attuned to your Spirit when things are going well. Why do I too often need to suffer first before I cry out to you? I was driving to work this morning and feeling pretty good. My marriage seems to be moving in the right direction. Kids are doing okay. Work is moving ahead and seems to be going in the right direction. So I was driving along and listening to some of my favorite secular singers on my Pandora app through my phone. About halfway to work, however, I thought, why am I listening to this? Why aren’t I filling myself with Christian music and thoughts right now? So I switched Pandora over the “Rich Mullins Radio” and listened to Christian music for the last five minutes of my drive (I’m blessed to only live less than 10 minutes from work).

Now, I’m sitting here disciplining myself to spend a little bit of time in prayer. It would be the easiest thing in the world to skip today. A little like skipping my exercise last night. I know I need it. I know I need you. I know it will be good for me. I know time with you is good for me. I know it will make me healthier. I know time with you will heal my soul. I know I’ll feel better when it’s over. I know I’ll feel better after I’ve touched you. Yes, there are a lot of similarities between the discipline of regular exercise and the discipline of regular, thoughtful prayer. If I go out and exercise once a week then I won’t feel much difference, but a month of exercising will bring about a change in me. It’s the same thing with prayer. One prayer a week won’t really have much impact on my life, but a month of praying regularly will.

Father, thank you for bringing me here today. I am sorry that I often need to be poor in spirit before I end up on my knees before you. I am sorry that I still try to take control of my surroundings and the events in my life so often. But here, in this moment, I bring my life to you, I lay it at your feet, and I ask that you will please do with it and me as you will. Love through me. Parent through me. Husband through me. Lead through me. And serve through me.

 

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Emails to God – One thing I lack… (Luke 18:18-23)

18 A certain ruler asked him, “Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

19 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 20 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not commit adultery, you shall not murder, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.’”

21 “All these I have kept since I was a boy,” he said.

22 When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

23 When he heard this, he became very sad, because he was very wealthy.

Dear God, there is a fatigue in self-sufficiency. It can be hard to always do things yourself—to insist on being able to say that you are the one who deserves credit for everything you have accomplished. That’s what this rich young ruler was saying: “I have done it. I have done it all. From honoring the commandments to making money, I have done it within my power and succeeded.”

I am reading a book right now where the “hero” (protagonist is probably a better word because I don’t know that he is that heroic) has accomplished a lot on his own. He started out poor, became a star running back in college, and then a successful lawyer. But the writer is doing a good job of setting up the idea that, even though the man sees his life as safe and impenetrable, it is actually very fragile and only a couple of things have to go wrong for it to all fall apart.

Father, help me to surrender my resources, talent, sinfulness, and everything in between to you. Help me to embrace and absorb you a little more each day. Help me to never cease taking you into my being and surrendering all of me to you. I metaphorically turn my fists downward, open them up and drop everything to which I hold so tight, and then turn my open palms up to you, asking that you will them simply with your presence. And then help me to influence my children to do the same.

 

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Emails to God – Knowing Doctrine vs. Knowing Jesus (My Utmost for His Highest – August 16)

Dear God, I don’t normally read Oswald Chambers’ commentary about a verse. I just use the verses he uses and then pray to you about what you are saying to me. But today, I was compelled to read the first paragraph in his commentary and I ran across these two sentences:

It is possible to know all about doctrine and still not know Jesus. A person’s soul is in grave danger when the knowledge of doctrine surpasses Jesus, avoiding intimate touch with Him.

Wow. That is quite an indictment of so many of us. It begs the question, do I know more about doctrine than I do about Jesus?

As I think about it, I think Satan has used doctrine over the last several millennia to drive us away from each other and from Jesus. I think about the denominations and how each of us have our own doctrine. Then, individuals allow doctrine to come between them and their own denomination. For example, I know many Catholics who believe in birth control while the church’s official position is that it is a sin. Satan has used the issue to divide and even embitter some Catholics against the church. But what would happen if everyone involved took the attitude of knowing more about Jesus than they do doctrine. Better said, what if they knew Jesus, Himself, more than they knew doctrine.

Father, of course, I am in this same boat. I get my theology, and I hold onto different parts of it as if they are so important. But are they? Are they really? Where does my priority on implementing my theology stop and my desire to simply become one with your heart begin? Help me to answer that question and to find my way as I try to parent, husband, and lead in the different areas of my life. Be glorified in everything I do so that you might draw others to yourself and they might get to know the real you and not the “you” they learned through possible false or misleading doctrines.

 

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Emails to God – What’s With All Of The Suffering Verses? (1 Peter 4:12-19)

12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin with God’s household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And,

“If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?”

19 So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Dear God, I know I sound like a broken record on this, but I seem to keep coming across verses that remind me that suffering is not outside of your plan for me. It’s funny because I think I know that, but then you apparently keep bringing these passages to me so it makes me wonder if I still haven’t gotten it.

So, yes, I’ve been going through some trials lately, both at home and at work. Compared to what other people experience in life, however, I am hard-pressed to classify it as real suffering. And I’m certainly not suffering for your name or anything like that—I’m just going through normal life stuff. But I guess the question is, do I feel sorry for myself and angry with you for my suffering, or do I just accept it as part of the journey and move forward. I thought I was doing the latter, but perhaps I am doing the former more than I know.

Father, all I ask for myself is that you give me your wisdom, discernment, and peace. Whatever else you need to do to or through me to accomplish your will, so be it. You are my God. I am your servant. I already have it better than I deserve.

 

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Emails to God – Suffering for the Lord (Luke 1:26-38)

26 In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, 27 to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. 28 The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

29 Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. 30 But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. 31 You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33 and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.”

34 “How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

35 The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. 36 Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be unable to conceive is in her sixth month. 37 For no word from God will ever fail.”

38 “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.

Dear God, it seems to me that Mary was put in a really tough position here. I realize that she has been revered since her death, but her earthly life was not easy. It seems to me that there are a lot of instances in the Bible when you feel like the good of the many outweighs the good of the one. Noah’s call was not an easy one to follow. Nor was Moses’. Generations of Israelites suffered in slavery. Ruth suffered until she married Boaz (which eventually produced David’s lineage). The apostles lived difficult lives. Even Jesus lived a challenging life and suffered a terrible death. And then there are Mary and Joseph. They were poor, faced being ostracized from their community, traveled during pregnancy, gave birth in a manger, ran from Herod in the middle of the night to Egypt, relocated a couple of times after that, etc. It wasn’t an easy call.

In looking at these stories I wonder why we, as American Christians, sometimes feel like our suffering should be mitigated or minimized. I think we have created this idea of a God who wants each of us, individually, to be cozy in our homes. I know that thought is certainly appealing to me. But is it consistent with what we read in the Bible? Did our heroes live easy lives. Even David had to fight wars and face insurrection from his children. Your prophets were rejected. Stephen was stoned.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I need to be careful about what exactly it is I expect from you and our relationship. I need to be careful about not expecting to be able to look back on my life and evaluating its success based on whether or not it looks good on the surface (e.g., did I have a good career, did I make a lot of money, did I live a long time, did I retire well (and young), did I live in comfort, did my family live free of disease, etc.). You haven’t promised me any of these things, and I have no right to expect them from you. And if you do give me these things then my first question should be, God, what is it you want me to do with this blessing?

Father, I confess to you that there are times when I start to worry about my career and wonder if I should be accomplishing more (and making more money). I wonder if I am starting to get to an age where I will be too old to get that one great job that will set me up for retirement. As my children near the end of high school I start to wonder about my legacy through them and how I will be perceived as a parent through their accomplishments. These are all sins because they take my eyes off of you and turn them to myself. They take my eyes off of today and turn them to tomorrow. They ignore the idea that my suffering might be for the good of so many more. So I will start the way Mary started. “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.”

 

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Emails to God – Jesus’ Insensitivity (Luke 2:41-52)

41 Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. 42 When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. 43 After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44 Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”

49 “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.

Dear God, I hope this isn’t blasphemous to say, but it is nice to know that Jesus could be a clueless kid every once in a while too. He had no evil motives here. He had a unique opportunity to learn more about God in the Jerusalem temple so he took it. He just didn’t stop to think about how his actions would impact other people. He had not yet learned courtesy. I don’t see this as a sin. I see it as insensitivity that needed to be corrected. Verse 51 is the key: “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.” He submitted to them and their authority over him.

As a parent of teens, it is sometimes hard to discern between when they are being sinful and when they are simply being thoughtless. In fact, there are times when my wife has to figure out the same thing for me—am I sinning against her or just being thoughtless. Frankly, it is refreshing to know that there is a difference.

Father, help me to be thoughtful of those around me. Help me to teach my children thoughtfulness. Help me to be able to recognize when my child is just being thoughtless and to train them to be thoughtful. Help me to also recognize when my child is being willfully sinful and train them to repent. And, of course, help me to learn these lessons for myself as well.

 

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Emails to God – Praying In Jesus’ Name (John 16:25-28)

25 “Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. 26 In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf. 27 No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. 28 I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.”

Dear God, I assume this day is still here. I assume that I have direct access to you through my prayers. But the key is to ask in Jesus name. But what does it mean to ask something in Jesus’ name? Does it mean to actually declare Jesus’ name as I pray, or is it more subtle than that? If I say my own selfish prayer, but I throw in Jesus’ name at the end, is that the same thing as blaspheming Jesus’ name? Can I pray my own selfish prayer, add Jesus’ name to the end, and not offend you?

Being raised Baptist, one of the things I learned to do as a child was add on the phrase, “in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen,” to the end of all of my prayers. In fact, I am careful to always put that little phrase at the end of each of these prayers in my journal (although the people on the blog don’t see it because I normally leave the end of my prayers out of the blog). But do I mean it, or is it just something I say on the end because I think I am supposed to? Am I truly taking each prayer and considering what Jesus would think of it and then submitting it through His name, or am I just throwing some words up toward heaven and putting a Jesus bow on them?

Father, help me to take the times I am speaking to you as the beautiful, powerful moments that they are. This is an opportunity for me to get a glimpse of your glory and your presence. It is a chance for me to lay my life before you and humbly ask for your provision in whatever ways you see as appropriate. Thank you for the fact that Jesus’ death and resurrection delivered to me the power of prayer.

 

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Emails to God – Matthew’s Wrap-Up (Matthew 28:16-20)

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Dear God, this ending seems so abrupt, especially considering some of the details we get in the other Gospels. Was Matthew just trying to get this story wrapped up? Also, it is interesting that in verse 17 it says that “some doubted.” What did they doubt? What did they see while they were there? For such a long book that gives us such great details (including all of the genealogy stuff at the beginning) it seems that this ending just doesn’t make sense.

Of course, the big thing that all evangelicals quote from this is verse 19. It’s an important thing for all of us to remember that we are to be about making disciples of Jesus. For all that Matthew lacks in his wrap up, he and Mark are the only ones who talk about the disciples being charged with preaching the Gospel. In fact, it is interesting to go and look at each Gospel to see how they end. Each one is certainly unique.

Father, help me to be a person who is about, above all else, making disciples. I feel like I fail often in that way. In fact, now that I think about it, I had an opportunity yesterday with a friend that I missed. He is suffering a bit, and we had lunch together. Hmm. Somehow, I didn’t even think to bring you up. How awful is that? Please forgive me and make me more sensitive to the still, small voice that you are speaking to me at any given time.

 
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Posted by on May 25, 2012 in Matthew

 

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