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“Jesus” by Rich Mullins (performed by Ashley Cleveland)

21 Jul

“Jesus” by Rich Mullins (performed by Ashley Cleveland)

Jesus

They say You walked upon the water once

When you lived as all men do

Please teach me how to walk the way You did

Because I want to walk with You

Jesus

They say you taught a lame man how to dance

When he had never stood without a crutch

Well here am I Lord holding out my withered hands

And I’m just waiting to be touched

Jesus

Write me into Your story

Whisper it to me

And let me know I’m Yours

Jesus

They say You spoke and calmed an angry wave

That was tossed across a stormy sea

Please teach me how to listen how to obey

‘Cause there’s a storm inside of me

Jesus

Write me into Your story

Whisper it to me

And let me know I’m Yours

Jesus

They drove the cold nails through Your tired hands

And rolled a stone to seal Your grave

Feels like the devil’s rolled a stone onto my heart

Can You roll that stone away?

Dear God, this is one of those great songs that it’s a crime isn’t know better. Rich Mullins wrote it shortly before his untimely death. I say untimely, but I suppose everything is in your time. But it sure felt untimely at the time.

Anyway, I love the connection between Bible stories about Jesus and an aching heart here and now. I try to imagine Rich writing it and the emotions he felt that drove the request he makes in the song.

It opens simply enough: “Please teach me how to walk the way you did because I want to walk with you.” The more I become like Jesus the more closely I can be to him. No, that’s wrong. The closer I get to him and you the more I will walk like him and be like him. My salvation is one thing. My discipleship and transformation is another that I must grow into.

Then he moves on to needing healing: “Well here I am, Lord, holding out my withered hands. And I’m just waiting to be touched.” One of the first stages of the walk is seeking your healing. Healing my soul. Chris Pratt recently said in an awards show, “You have a soul. Be careful with it.” Well, a lot of us are careless with our souls, or others damage our souls. It’s really a combination of both. But we need your healing before we can really move along in our journey with you.

The next thing is tuning into you: “Please teach me how to listen and how to obey because there’s a storm inside of me.” It’s interesting that he made a connection between the storm Jesus calmed with listening to and obeying you. I don’t think I would naturally have made that connection, but I can see it. The storms that rage inside of me—the fear, the unsettledness, and the selfishness—all combine to drown out your voice. I need your healing and your calm to bring me to a place where I can hear you.

And finally: “Feels like the devil’s rolled a stone onto my heart. Can you roll that stone away?” Father, I can’t do this myself. I need you to do it. My wounded soul. My stormy heart. My sin. My selfishness. I cannot will it to be gone, and I cannot will myself to be acceptable to you. I am acceptable to you because of Jesus’ sacrifice and because you choose by your will to accept me. Thank you for this freedom.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2018 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Emails to God – Confronting Heresy (John 1:14-18)

13 Dec

14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

15 (John testified concerning him. He cried out, saying, “This is the one I spoke about when I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’”) 16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. 18 No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known.

Dear God, why am I afraid to answer the door to a Jehovah’s Witness or Mormon? Why am I nervous about defending my theology to them when theirs is so obviously flawed? I talk about wanting to be a better evangelist, but I won’t even speak out when a heretic comes to my door. What’s up with that?

I was driving to my house the other day when I thought I spotted some Jehovah’s Witnesses about a block from my house. My first set of thoughts were, Get to the house, close the garage, close the blinds, and don’t answer the door. Pretend like I’m not home. But my next thoughts focused around the conversations I have had with Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons in the past and the apologetics I have gotten into regarding defending Christianity against their heresy. Could I remember them? Should I meet the challenge at my door?

As it turned out, they never came, but I know that, if they had knocked on my door, I would not have opened it. I would have remained silent until they went away. Is that really the example I want to set for my children? Is that really what you are calling me to? Do you not want them to know the truth, and would you not want to use me to deliver it to them when given the chance?

Father, there are times when I feel so pathetic in this area. There are things about my personality that are great, and there are things that I cannot stand. This area falls into the latter. Please remind me of this moment. As I read this passage and the truth about who Jesus was, is, and is to come, help me to find my confidence and faith in it, and help me to be at peace in the knowledge that, at your core, you, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are one God, and I am your servant.

 
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Posted by on December 13, 2012 in John

 

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Emails to God – Counting myself as a shepherd (Luke 2:8-20)

11 Dec

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Dear God, this was the passage on which the pastor preached on Sunday. The story of the shepherds has touched me over the last few years. There are a few things I realize now that I didn’t realize before:

  1. It is possible that the shepherds either knew or knew of Joseph and Mary. Verse 6 says, “While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born.” While they were there. We always get this image of Mary and Joseph coming into town and Mary instantly going into labor. But that isn’t the case. And these are not people who could have afforded to stay in a motel every night. They were likely camping outside of town. They might have met the shepherds. They might have been familiar with the stable where she gave birth, and thought of it at the last minute as an option. In fact, I wonder just how many children were born in similar situations during those days.
  2. The shepherds “spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child…” They didn’t just show up, meet Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, and then leave. They couldn’t contain their excitement over what was going on. They were pumped and they went out to “spread the word.”

The pastor made the point, which I think is a good one, that we are the shepherds in this story. The Holy Spirit has taught us about Jesus (through others and/or directly into our own souls), and we have embraced Him as our God. Now, what will we do? Will we just enjoy the view and leave, or will we “spread the word” concerning what we have learned about this Jesus, our God?

Father, I am not much of an evangelist. Part of it is apathy. Part of it is fear. Part of it is being shy. But I know that you have put people in my life over whom I have influence. They include  coworkers, volunteers, patients, friends, and family members. Help me to share your news with them. Help me to live out your power and grace in my life and to spread the word to them about what your power and grace can do for them. Help me to embrace the role of a shepherd so that others might be “amazed at what [I] said to them.”

 
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Posted by on December 11, 2012 in Luke

 

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Emails to God – Free Will Submission (John 1:9-13)

30 Nov

9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

Dear God, the decision to submit our will to you is, for some, the easiest thing to do, and, for others, the most impossible thing to do. One of the themes that keeps coming up in my life over and over again is the sense of a respect for authority. I would like to think that it all has to do with parenting, but I don’t think that is necessarily true. I have known people whom I considered to be excellent parents who had troubled, rebellious children, and I have known people who I thought to be terrible parents who have excellent, accomplished, self-disciplined children. That said, however, I do think that parenting plays a large role. If I were to put percentages to it, I would say that 80% of it is parenting, and the other 20% is just the child/adult exercising their free will.

I talked with a friend this week who has a grown son in his 40’s still living with her. She was expressing frustrations with the son’s behavior now, and how she wishes she had done things differently when he was a teenager. My advice to her was to go home, and do now what you wish you had done then because she is continuing to do the things now that she regrets doing then.

I mention all of this because of verses 11 and 12. Verse 11 talks about those who rejected Jesus, and verse 12 talks about those who received him. Those who rejected him were unwilling to yield to his authority, but those who accepted him willingly accepted the notion of being your child.

Father, for the 80% or so influence that you have given my wife and me over our children, please help us to parent them and nurture them in a way that they might be willing to fully submit themselves to you and be your child. Help them to find your peace. Help them to find your love. Raise up other voices in their lives that you will use to influence them. Draw them into yourself and give them a sense of your grace, love, acceptance, and power. Make it something for which they hunger.

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2012 in John

 

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Emails to God – Loving God with all of my Understanding (Mark 12:8-34)

05 Nov

28 One of the scribes came and heard them arguing, and recognizing that He had answered them well, asked Him, “What commandment is the foremost of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The foremost is, ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is one Lord; 30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” 32 The scribe said to Him, “Right, Teacher; You have truly stated that He is One, and there is no one else besides Him; 33 and to love Him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as himself, is much more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” 34 When Jesus saw that he had answered intelligently, He said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” After that, no one would venture to ask Him any more questions.

Dear God, I was in mass yesterday and these verses were the Gospel reading. I noticed something for the first time in verses 30 and 33. Part of the commandment as stated in the Old Testament and by Jesus is to say that we should love you with all of our mind. The scribe, however, changes that word to “understanding.” I looked it up in a couple of translations, and the change is consistent. Frankly, this change helps me a little, and it should help each of us receive your grace as we work out our faith with fear and trembling.

To say that I love you will all my heart, strength and UNDERSTANDING is big difference. The word understanding, for me, implies that there is grace for my limited mind. As long as I am giving you all that I have in the understanding department, then I am fulfilling what the commandment meant when it said to love you with all of my mind.

Father, help me to understand you better, and reveal to me where my understanding is flawed. I am sure that there are parts of my theology that have been corrupted by thousands of years of errant teaching that has been handed down from one generation to the next—mostly innocently, I’m sure. Help me to break beyond that and to feel your presence with me as I evaluate any given situation and submit myself before you and your throne.

 
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Posted by on November 5, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Emails to God – Is it ever enough? (John 14:8-14)

17 Oct

8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. 12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Dear God, Philip had good intentions in verse 8, but he was wrong. Jesus could have transfigured right there and shone in all of his glory for them, and the impact would have been gone in hours and days. Think of Peter, James, and John watching the transfiguration. You would think that seeing Jesus transfigured and speaking with Moses and Elijah would have been enough to keep them courageous during the crucifixion, but at least two of them were nowhere to be found.

Frankly, our human hearts can never be satisfied because Satan comes like a thief in the night and steals the memories of the glorious works you have done. He steals our faith, not it big chunks, but through erosion over time. My wife reminded me last night of a time that our church group prayed for a woman with cancer in her back. The prayer was in our living room and we all laid hands on her. The next day when they surgeon got in there they found the tumor was gone. They could see where it HAD been, but it wasn’t there anymore. A miracle had taken place in my own living room, yet how often does my heart doubt your power?

Father, thank you that Jesus knew, even in that moment, that Philip didn’t know what he was saying. Jesus knew it wouldn’t be enough. He knew that performing miracles and giving the Pharisees a sign wouldn’t be enough. He knew that faith is about us making a decision to submit ourselves to you and then pursuing you diligently and humbly. It isn’t about us being wowed and having our emotions manipulated. It is about us persevering even when the emotions are gone (see Mother Theresa). So I offer you my submission to your authority and ask that you please help me to feel your presence in my life today. Work through me. Love through me. Lead through me. Help me to represent you well.

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2012 in My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day

 

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Emails to God – Bartimaeus’ Bad Week (Mark 10:46-52)

01 Oct

46 Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. 47 When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

48 Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

49 Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”

So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” 50 Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

51 “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.

The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.”

52 “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

Dear God, something new occurred to me yesterday as I heard about this story in church. Bartimaeus was about to have a very difficult week. On a scale of 1-10, I would imagine that this day was a 15 for him. How can it get any better for a blind man than to be given his sight. Amazing. He figured he would follow this Jesus guy because there must be something to him. Jesus really was the Son of David that Bartimaeus had hoped he was.

Then came Friday. If Bartimaeus followed him into Jerusalem that week then he had to live through Friday. He must have at least been in town when Jesus was beaten and taken up to Golgotha. I wonder how all of that hit him. He knew, tangibly, who Jesus was and yet he saw him killed. How did he respond that day? What was Saturday like for him? Was he around when Sunday came? The pastor yesterday said that some scholars believe that because we are given his name and his father’s name then they believe he was part of the early church. If so, then I’m sure he was a disciple who had seen it all. But if he gave up on Saturday then he missed the greatest victory in history.

Father, I face challenges. I am facing challenges today. Through my faith in you, I refuse to give up. I refuse to leave the game early. There is a great victory in the midst of these setbacks, and I want you to know that I am going to stick with you through them. There was ultimate victory for the Israelites in Egypt. There was ultimate victory for Jesus (and, subsequently, for me) in the Passion and resurrection. Now, there will be great victory in these things too. The victory might not look like I expect it to look, but I will trust that you are in control and your will will be done. I submit myself to that will and ask that you allow me to come along for the ride.

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2012 in Miscellaneous

 

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Emails to God – Spirit-filled (Matthew 26:38)

05 Sep

“Stay here and watch with me.”

Dear God, Oswald Chambers’ commentary on this passage links it with Acts 2:4, when the Holy Spirit comes upon the faithful. His premise is that we cannot watch WITH YOU before we are Spirit-filled because we need to Spirit to better understand who you are. Until that happens, he says, the best we can really comprehend is the idea of you watching WITH US.

There is a step in there between making a decision to follow you and the moment that the Holy Spirit comes into us. Ideally it should happen at the same time, but I think that, sometimes, our hearts are not quite yet ready for it. Frankly, it’s a bit of a hazy mystery to me, but I can certainly see how it happened in my life.

I think part of the issue is that, at least in my life, I needed some additional maturity before I was ready to embrace the Holy Spirit. I was nine years old when I first asked you into my heart and became “saved”, but my soul was not yet ready to be Spirit-filled. I think you put a mark on me at that point, and I think that my soul was saved, but I was still too confused to really understand what watching WITH YOU meant. It wasn’t until I was seventeen that my life really transformed. I was finally ready to begin to accept your Lordship in my life. I was ready to accept the idea of you reaching me instead of me being able to reach you. I was ready to accept the idea of submission in a new way. At that point, in July 1987, I felt the Holy Spirit enter in.

Father, as I watch my children grow, neither of whom are yet even seventeen, I know that each of them made decisions to submit themselves to you and accept Jesus’ sacrifice for their sins at earlier ages. But now Satan is doing his best to make sure that the seeds planted then do not find fertile soil. He wants them to be eaten by the birds, choked by the thorns, or baked by the sun. So I pray that you will protect the soil of their hearts, and cultivate the parts that are vulnerable to Satan’s attacks. Help my wife and me to love them richly, even beyond what they see with our physical eyes. And, of course, protect our hearts as well. Spirit, move within us so that our hearts might be pure, united, and completely yours.

 
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Posted by on September 5, 2012 in My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day

 

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Emails to God – Works vs. Relationship (Luke 10:20)

30 Aug

Luke 10:20 – Do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven.
“Jesus Christ is saying here, ‘Don’t rejoice in your successful service for Me, but rejoice because of your right relationship with Me.’” Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Dear God, but the “works” feel so good, and they look so good. It feels good to look back on a day and know that I have done good things. I like having people being able to see the good things I do. I like feeling their adulation. I like feeling like I am pleasing you. But that’s not what it’s all about. In fact, It is the addiction to that feeling of having done good that has caused me some of my biggest problems. How does it cause problems. Because I start to pursue the adulation instead of pursuing you and the peace that comes from being in right relationship with you.

I have had different jobs in my pre- and post-college career. Some have been for Christian organizations and a couple have been with secular ones. It is interesting, but I think I found it easier to have a right relationship with you when I worked in a secular environment. It was easier when my vocation and my desire to do well at work didn’t get mixed up with how others see me living out my spiritual life. Not that I didn’t try to work to your glory in the secular environment, but I was able to point to the difference in how I did my job as an example of my love for you. Here, in my current job, I am expected to do good works and be an example for you.

Father, while I want to integrate my faith into every part of my life, including my work, I need your help to separate my work from my identity in you. I need you to help me be at peace in you instead of pursuing public glory for the things I do for you. Help me to find those lines and to embrace you as my provider, my king, and my God.

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Luke, My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day

 

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Emails to God – Teach Me to Pray (My Utmost for His Highest, August 28 – By Oswald Chambers)

28 Aug

“Prayer is not a normal part of the life of the natural man. We hear it said that a person’s life will suffer if he doesn’t pray, but I question that. What will suffer is the life of the Son of God in him, which is nourished not by food, but by prayer.”

Dear God, there is a fine line between my life and your life. Mr. Chambers makes an interesting distinction here in this regard. He is positing that the life of John Willome will be just fine without prayer. My own selfishness will flourish. My ability to indulge my own whims will be unchecked. In fact, the only checks on my life at all will be in how my life ends up relating to those around me—my wife, children, coworkers, etc. What will suffer is your life in me.

I think I am learning more and more that our lives, yours and mine, are mutually exclusive. I cannot embrace my selfishness and embrace you at the same time, so when I embrace you in times of prayer like this (and I mean truly submit myself to you and embrace you—not just praying without thought or emotion) then I have to let go of myself, at least for that time period. So the more I pray the more I let go of myself. The more I let go of myself then the more your life will replace mine. The more your life replaces mine the more Christ-like I become. The more Christ-like I become the more I will be at peace and you will receive glory.

Father, help me to be a more continual prayer. Help me to pray in the middle of conversations. Help me to pray while I drive, while I work, while I think in the middle of the day. Help me to pray as I husband my wife. Help me to pray as I parent my children. Help me to pray as I work in my office, or directly with patients, staff, volunteers, and donors. Help me to continuously turn loose of my own life so that yours might flourish within me.

 
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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in My Utmost for His Highest Scripture of the Day

 

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