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Psalm 119:133

26 Mar

133 Establish my footsteps in Your word,
And do not let any iniquity have dominion over me.

Psalm 119:133

Dear God, the last part of this one verse is so powerful. My iniquities and their influence over my life is a concept that overwhelms and humbles me. How many of the frustrations I’m experiencing now are a result of my iniquities? My sins?

It doesn’t say that David wrote this psalm, but my first thought goes to David and how his dalliance with Bathsheba (rape?) and then murder of Uriah seems to be the touchstone for his family problems later. That iniquity, though repented of in Psalm 51, seemed to have dominion over the rest of his life and even flowed into history. Amnon was the rightful heir to the throne, but Absalom killed him, led a revolt that ultimately led to his death. And Solomon would never have existed if not for David’s relationship with Bathsheba.

So, what can I pray for this morning? Well, somehow, Solomon was the pathway to Jesus through lineage. There was redemption for this somewhere down the line. Can you somehow use the ripples of the sins I’ve committed to do something positive in this world? Can you protect me from my iniquities and keep them from having dominion over me?

Father, I want to be at peace with the sorrows in my life. I can see where I made mistakes that played a role in my current sorrows, but I still don’t know how I ended up in them to the level I’m at. And it hurts. I hurt. So please be in these situations. Don’t let my mistakes and sins (sometimes mistakes aren’t sins) have dominion over me, the ones I love, or the plans you have for us. Help me to know the path forward, which starts with my very next step.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

25 Mar

May your grace not
Forsake us, O Lord, we
Pray,
But make us dedicated to
Your holy service
And at all times obtain for
Us your help

Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

Dear God, I want to take the grace you have given me and turn it to the world, to serve and to love in your name. Please help me to do this. I think that is what the “Collect for Mass of the Day” is telling me I should think, and I agree. That is a good life.

I guess one question would be, why do I need this external grace from you. If I’m a human who has made mistakes, why can’t I just forgive myself, apologize to those I wronged, if there are any, and then move on. Why do I need forgiveness from you? How does that make my life better?

Those are actually good questions that have vague answers. For the person who doesn’t believe in you, it is my opinion, that they are still grappling with guilt that they cannot absolve themselves. There is something in our psyche that knows that, while we have sinned against others or even our own bodies, the repentance David gave in Psalm 51 after his affair with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah is appropriate when he says that it is against you he has sinned. Again, my opinion, I think there is something in all of us that knows you’re there, at least in some form, and that we are accountable to you. I talked a week or two ago about the man I know who didn’t like the rules you made, so he decided he would remove you from the equation and, thus, remove his own guilt. I think he’s still living by that philosophy, but I don’t think it’s working. I think he is still burdened by his guilt.

And then going back to the “Collect for Mass of the Day,” if I get to a point where I have come to you, repented, and receive absolution from you, then I can take that freedom and offer it to others. I can love them. I can love you.

Father, let me start with repentance. I confess to you, Almighty God, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words. In what I have done, and what I have failed to do. Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore I ask the Holy Spirit to pray for me. I am sorry. Thank you for redemption and reconciliation through Jesus. Thank you, Father.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 25, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 84:2

24 Mar

2 My soul longs, indeed it faints,
    for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.

Psalm 84:2

Dear God, of course, things like this aren’t written and published on a whim. The psalmist isn’t correcting himself in the first line of this verse. He’s communicating intentionally. It’s like a P.S. at the end of a fundraising letter. The marketing person didn’t forget to tell you something in a letter that was reviewed and edited multiple times before it was sent. The P.S. is intentional to communicate an emotional punctuation at the end of the letter. The same is true for this first line of this verse. I just looked at about five different translations, and while they didn’t all say it like this, they all communicated some sort of emphasis about a desperation for you.

Do I feel that desperate this morning, or am I just going through the motions? If I search my heart honestly, I can see where there is a part of me that is going through the motions, but I am going through these motions because I know that I need you today. I need you this morning. I need you this hour. I need you in this moment. Who am I without you? You created me, and you want relationship with me. I am more than happy to oblige because you teach me love and forgiveness. You teach me your ways. You teach me about you.

In today’s entry from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam focuses on how we long for the thing(s) we gave up during lent as we fast from them, and then talked about replacing the longing for that particular thing to our longing for you. Am I as desperate for you as I am for the thing I gave up for Lent? If I were to give you up for Lent–time with you, prayer, church, podcasts, Bible, music, etc.–who would I be by Easter? I shutter to think.

Father, I love you. I need you. I cannot do this without you. Love others through me. Show me how to offer reconciliation with you to those around me. I am yours. Thank you for being mine.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Ezekiel 36:16-28

23 Mar

16 Again the word of the Lord came to me: 17 “Son of man, when the people of Israel were living in their own land, they defiled it by their conduct and their actions. Their conduct was like a woman’s monthly uncleanness in my sight. 18 So I poured out my wrath on them because they had shed blood in the land and because they had defiled it with their idols. 19 I dispersed them among the nations, and they were scattered through the countries; I judged them according to their conduct and their actions. 20 And wherever they went among the nations they profaned my holy name, for it was said of them, ‘These are the Lord’s people, and yet they had to leave his land.’ 21 I had concern for my holy name, which the people of Israel profaned among the nations where they had gone.

22 “Therefore say to the Israelites, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: It is not for your sake, people of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. 23 I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord, declares the Sovereign Lord, when I am proved holy through you before their eyes.

24 “‘For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. 25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. 28 Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God. 

Ezekiel 36:16-38

Dear God, you long for us so much! That’s the weirdest thing about you , in my mind. You long for us so much. I long for my children in a huge way, but you long for us even more. You want us. You want to restore us. You want relationship with us. You want our worship, but it’s so you can pour yourself into us. If you poured yourself into us without our worship, the consequences would be terrible. Who would I be if you just poured yourself into me without me first submitting myself to you? But the big picture is that you want this. It’s so weird!

As I sit here in Kansas this morning, with several hours before I leave for the airport, I have some options. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. But it’s Sunday. I have a rental car. While I was talking to my wife on the phone this morning, the thought occurred to me, “Why wouldn’t I go to church?” Good question. At home, my wife is Catholic so I attend Catholic church with her, but I’m out here on my own this morning. I can choose whatever I want. So here’s the weird thing. As I looked up churches around me, I found myself being skeptical of worship styles and what I would like and what I wouldn’t, so I ultimately decided it would probably be best if I find a Catholic church.. So I found one less than two miles from me, and I am planning to hit the 8:30 mass. If nothing else, I have a pretty good idea what it will be like, and I know I’ll be able to worship you there.

Father, I want to find a place to corporately worship you this morning. This isn’t for appearances. This isn’t duty. It’s need on my part. Sure, I don’t have to do it, and maybe my day will be fine, but I will be better if I do this. If I find myself worshipping you through joining others to read your word, sing songs to you, and hear a homily prepared by someone who loves you. I will watch others as they take the eucharist, knowing I’m not really that different from the Catholics in the room, but respectful of how they feel about the importance of the eucharist and that I shouldn’t partake if I don’t believe in transubstantiation. I’m looking forward to this. It won’t guarantee me a good day, but it will be a touchpoint with you as I go through my day, and it will give me a better shot of responding in your love and with your Spirit when challenges arise. Be with me today.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2025 in Ezekiel, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 22, 2025

22 Mar 
O God, who grant us
  By glorious healing
  Remedies while still on 
  Earth
To be partakers of the 
  Things of heaven,
Guide us, we pray, through
  This present life
And bring us to that light
  In which you dwell

Collect for Mass of the Day - March 22, 2025

Dear God, it is so evident to me that we are damaged. All of us. It reminds of me the poem "This be the Verse" by Philip Larkin. I know I've mentioned this in prayers before: 

They [mess] you up, your mum and dad.   
    They may not mean to, but they do.   
They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

But they were [messed] up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,   
Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

It started with Adam and Eve and it trickles into today. I don’t agree with the last line of this poem, that we shouldn’t have any kids ourselves. But I fear that is the sentiment todays youth are carrying into adulthood. When they see the pain they feel hopeless. Like the world is doomed. And I’ll admit that I would not want to raise a child in the current technological world, much less the one that will be around in 10-20 years from now.

So what do we do now? From the collect of the mass today, we look for your glorious healing. I was just talking with someone about what we are selling when we present your Gospel. Is it fire insurance–rescue from hell–or is it healing now. Receiving forgiveness. Learning how to extend forgiveness. Receiving your “remedies while still on earth.” “To be partakers in the things of heaven.” To be part of your kingdom coming and your will being done on earth as it is in heaven.

Going back to the poem, it’s the last stanza that needs your redemption. That’s where Mr. Larkin is missing you. The deepening of the coastal shelf will happen without you, but with you–with your grace, both received and given–that coastal shelf will be filled in and the children we bring into the world will have the opportunity to bring that grace forward. Oh, Father, help me to be part of bringing your grace forward through my reception of your grace and then extending it to others.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 31:1-2

21 Mar

Psalm 31

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
    let me never be put to shame;
    deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
    come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
    a strong fortress to save me.

Dear God, I was talking with a relative yesterday, and she was recounting a conversation she had recently had with a friend. The friend was telling her about a lot of therapy work she’d been doing over the last year and uncovering and dealing with a lot of childhood trauma. Ultimately, she told my relative something to the effect that she didn’t believe in you anymore because she didn’t know why you don’t stop things like that. How can a good God allow so much pain?

It’s an age-old question. Job asked it. His friends errantly told him that his suffering was a result of his sin, and he rejected that explanation. But he fussed at you. He demanded you answer him and explain yourself. Funny, how I keep coming back to the whole thing about people expecting you to explain yourself to them. It’s starting to reveal itself as a theme during these Lenten journals. C.S. Lewis wrote a whole book about it called The Problem of Pain. I think it’s something we all struggle to answer because we want to be a good and loving God would never allow such things.

So what was my answer to my relative? Well, I hope it was okay. I simply said that one question to ask her friend is what she would have you do. How would she like for God to respond to pain in the world? Should you kill bad actors? Should you stop all natural disasters? If this were a Bruce Almighty situation and she had your power for a day, how would she use it? And once you decide to start killing bad actors who do the worst of crimes, where do you draw the line and what are the limits? I guess the ultimate question would be, why did you create any of this at all? Why did you create us just to have us suffer?

Sister Miriam had a nice paragraph today in her book Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. She said, “As painful as life has been for us in moments, God is not our enemy. God is only good and offers goodness. He understands our pain and sorrow, our anger and rage. He is not afraid of it, disgusted by it, or deterred by it.” I like that.

Father, help me to represent you well today. Help me to show everyone around me how good you are. Help me to offer reconciliation with you to them. It starts with my own heart loving you well, worshipping you, and being wholly yours. So, I offer myself to you today. I am yours. This day is not about me or what I can get out of the day. It’s about what I can give to this day. Help me to offer you as a refuge for those who are scared and hurting. Help me to remind others who worship you of how good you are. Use me, Father. I’m here to offer myself to you as best as I know how.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 21, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 13

18 Mar

Psalm 13

Prayer for Deliverance from Enemies

To the leader. A Psalm of David.

1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I bear pain in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all day long?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God!
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
4 and my enemy will say, “I have prevailed”;
    my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.

5 But I trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord
    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 13

Dear God, Sister Miriam, in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation focused on verse 3b and verse 4a for her meditation today, but what strikes me about this short psalm by David is the last stanza. It seems he’s desperate and everything is going wrong, and yet in that midst he comes to his senses and reminds himself that he is yours no matter what. It’s quite beautiful.

I don’t know that this ties in anywhere, but I want to say it out loud because it struck me this morning and I don’t want to lose it. I was listening to the Voxology Podcast and their interview with Nijay Gupta. They were talking about the fallacy of Old Testament = Law and New Testament = Grace, saying that our modern day Christianity sometimes sets up the Old Testament as the bad guy and the New Testament as the good guy. They didn’t think Jesus would feel that way. But then they said something funny, but there was truth to it. They were joking about people complaining about accepting sin and enabling bad behavior, and they said, “Was God enabling bad behavior by sending Jesus?” It was funny, but it was a good question in some ways. Where does adherence to the law come into my faith walk when it is compared with grace? The first thing I thought of were Jesus’s words, “17Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.” So that’s enough of that little rabbit trail. I just didn’t want to lose that though from this morning: Was God enabling bad behavior by sending Jesus?

Back to this psalm, I want to zero in on Sister Miriam’s focus and the phrase, “Give light to my eyes.” David want a poker face for his enemies to see. He doesn’t want them to feel the emotional victory they are currently getting over him. But that light needs to come from you. It needs to come from hope in you. Faith in you. It’s not a lie he is seeking to give to his enemies. He wants to show them what faith in you looks like no matter what.

Here is what Sister Miriam said as she quoted a priest she knows: “First, our wounds are not arbitrary, they are not random. Satan is like a sniper. He intuits with his angelic intellect the destiny of every human person and he shoots his deadly arrows into the place that will do the most damage in order to thwart the flourishing of the person and God’s plan for their life. Satan succeeds when he can convince us to hate God, hate ourselves, and hate others for the wounds we bear. Second, in God’s mysterious and divine sovereignty, God allows Satan this access only to make the wounded places even more life-giving, beautiful, and glorious than they ever would have been otherwise, if we allow the restoration of these places.”

Father, I want to show those around me what faith in you looks like, no matter what. I love you. I worship you. I want to show them what a faith-filled life looks like so that they might want you as well. So they might be drawn to you, worship you, love you, and then find the fruits of your Holy Spirit growing within them. For all of us who have wounds, and I’m thinking of a couple of people in particular right how, heal their wounds and use them to grow great fruit. Oh, Father, use me to love them and others around me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 17, 2025

17 Mar

O God, who have taught us to chasten our bodies for the healing of our souls, enable us, we pray, to abstain from all sins, and strengthen our hearts to carry out your loving commands.

Collect for the Mass of the Day – March 17, 2025

Dear God, when I read this passage this morning I thought of the Serenity Prayer from AA: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” In the case of the Collect, it is talking about disciplining ourselves under your “loving commands” so that our souls can be healed and our hearts strengthened. And I know this is true. When I am able to discipline myself to avoid sin and pursue you, the peace that passes understanding almost always follows. But when I allow sin and the shame that comes with it to enter into the picture it is hard.

I talked to someone a few years ago who tried another approach. He rejected you because he saw you as the rule maker and, therefore, the source of his guilt. If he got rid of you then he was able to get rid of the guilt he felt. I don’t know how or if that is still working for him, but it’s something that has always stuck with me as a unique solution to the problem of guilt. I pray for him this morning that he might be at peace and find that peace in you.

Sister Miriam kind of describes this guilt/peace situation in part of her commentary in today’s entry from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation when she says, “We see this in Genesis with Adam and Eve, before and after the Fall and the entrance of original sin. Before the rupture of sin, Adam and Eve experienced wholeness, communion, and integration of themselves with God, within themselves, with each other, and with creation. After the rupture of sin, this turning away from love, they experienced the disintegration of every aspect of their being.”

Father, I want to be fully integrated with you. Help me to be that today. Help me to “abstain from all sins,” and “carry about your loving commands” so that my soul might be healed and my heart strengthened in your service.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Mark 9:1-6

16 Mar

2 After six days Jesus took Peter, James and John with him and led them up a high mountain, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. 3 His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone in the world could bleach them. 4 And there appeared before them Elijah and Moses, who were talking with Jesus.

5 Peter said to Jesus, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” 6 (He did not know what to say, they were so frightened.)

Mark 9:1-6

Dear God, it’s Transfiguration Sunday in the Catholic church, so it makes sense that Sister Miriam would have chosen this passage for today’s verse in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. However, she only did the first sentence of verse 5, and I am drawn to verse 6. In it, Peter confesses through Mark that he had no idea what he was saying or doing because he was so scared. It’s a little like me when I describe myself looking like an idiot. “This is what I said, but I had no idea what I was saying.” For me, the reminder here is to just allow myself to be in the moment. Don’t try to take control of it. Don’t try to make more or less of it than it is. Just be in the moment and let the Holy Spirit drive my response.

But going back to Sister Miriam’s sentence for the day, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here,” it is a reminder that this is an important story for us to know. I don’t know if or how many other times Jesus met with Moses and Elijah (or others) during his earthly journey. He got away to pray by himself a lot, including the 40 days in the wilderness and several other examples. But at least one of them was captured for posterity. So that there were witnesses to your true deity as represented in the flesh in Jesus, all man and all God. It’s so awesome to consider. And I’m sure Peter, James, and John remembered this event even at the end of their lives.

Father, it is good that I am here this morning. And I am in the midst of a local tragedy, and I do not know how to respond. There is a 9,000-acre fire near my home, and while I am not personally threatened, many I know are in some way or another. Some are without power from downed power lines. Some need to evacuate from their homes. Some who I don’t know have already lost their home, livestock, barns, etc. So in this moment, as I consider my response, it is good that I am here. To pray. To not freak out and get in the way of others who have a job to do, but to seek to support in any way that I can. I worship you, Father. I pray for rain. I pray for a change in the weather to reduce the wind. I pray for your supernatural hand to move and protect the firefighters, the homeowners, and the livestock. I pray that you will not let this pain be wasted, but make it count for your glory and to draw all of us, including me, closer to you.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2025 in Mark, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 119:1-8

15 Mar

Psalm 119

The Glories of God’s Law

1 Happy are those whose way is blameless,
    who walk in the law of the Lord.
2 Happy are those who keep his decrees,
    who seek him with their whole heart,
3 who also do no wrong
    but walk in his ways.
4 You have commanded your precepts
    to be kept diligently.
5 O that my ways may be steadfast
    in keeping your statutes!
6 Then I shall not be put to shame,
    having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.
7 I will praise you with an upright heart,
    when I learn your righteous ordinances.
8 I will observe your statutes;
    do not utterly forsake me.

Dear God, verse 2 is the focus for Sister Miriam this morning from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation.

2 Happy are those who keep his decrees,
    who seek him with their whole heart

When I read all of these verses together, it brought to mind a video I saw this week. A coworker’s one-year-old granddaughter was caught on video by her mother playing with a roll of toilet paper. Sitting on the floor next to the spindle on the wall and unrolling it. Playing with it. When the mom is heard on the video coming around the corner and saying, “Well, hello there,” the toddler baby turns and instantly starts crying–wailing really. It was so funny to watch this child either 1. experience instant guilt which means there was a knowledge of their bad behavior all along or 2. throw out the wailing and tears instantly in an effort to manipulate and mitigate her mother’s anger.

Whatever the reason for this child’s wailing, every person who watched that video could instantly relate to what was going on. We’ve all been there, going all the way back to Adam and Eve. Ohhh, that apple looks so good (whatever the “apple” might represent for me). And I’ve had those times when I’ve walked around with the guilt of known sin. I’ve hoped I can hide it and no one will discover it. I’ve even foolishly tried to hide it from you by not acknowledging it and pretending like it didn’t happen. Or by telling myself that it’s not a big deal and you don’t care. Or by telling myself I’m in for a penny so I might as well be in for a pound.

As we know, all of that puts a barrier up between us and everything around us. It puts up a barrier between me and you as well as me and others around me. There’s a part of me I cannot let them know. And if they know it and feel betrayed in any way, it puts something between us in that way too. It takes away transparency.

Quoting Sister Miriam for today: “A house may look lovely on the exterior, but if the foundation is flawed, the house will develop acute problems. We see this in our own lives: The Lord spends much time healing and restoring the roots of our lives. This happens little by little over time. Yes, we experience deep shifts and major breakthroughs within that are seismic and felt and lasting. And we also have tiny reverberations of the tender work of the Artist who knows exactly what he is creating.”

Father, of course, the easiest and best thing to do is to keep your testimony and seek you with my whole heart. It is to be blameless, do no wrong, and walk in your way. Oh that my ways will be steadfast in keeping your laws. But I know I have failed you. I know I will fail you. I am sorry. I bring the sin I’m aware of to you in this moment. I am sorry, Father. I am sorry, Jesus. I am sorry, Holy Spirit. Thank you for everything you have done, are doing, and will do for me as my Triune God. I know your ways are best for me. They lead me to life. Thank you for not utterly forsaking me.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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