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Ephesians 5:25-33

19 Jun

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33

Dear God, this is a great verse for Father’s Day weekend because it is a reminder to me that my life as a father and a husband is not about me, but it is about what I bring to the table. And, in terms of my marriage, you call me to bring this to the table:

  • Love my wife
  • Give her the kind of love that cleanses her
  • Pray for her, including scripture
  • Take responsibility
  • Unite with her instead of my parents

So what kind of love cleanses my wife? Well, it starts with praying for her, but even before that I need to be about submitting to you and presenting myself to you and to hear and holy and blameless. I need to first be cleansed by you if I am to offer her the kind of grace and love that she needs from me. So the priorities are:

  1. Pursuit of you through humble submission and disciplined discipleship
  2. Extend the love you give to me to her
  3. Pray for her
  4. Build her up into the the woman you created her to be and supporting that as my highest calling
  5. Allowing respect to come naturally from her after I have done these things instead of demanding it

Father, I must also remember in all of this that I have two fathers-in-law. I have her father and I have you, and you see everything I do behind closed doors. I am sorry for where I have failed in each of these areas. As I go through this weekend, I commit to focusing more on this as your Father’s Day weekend because you are so good. This weekend isn’t about the love I receive. It’s about the love I have the opportunity to give.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2020 in Ephesians

 

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Ephesians 5:25-33

19 Jun

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33

Dear God, I think (I would certainly hope) I am better at this than I used to be. It’s amazing how my relationship with my wife impacts both of our lives. I mean, it’s kind of obvious that it would, but what I’ve noticed is that the more I follow these verses the more I tend to get from the relationship because I learn from her and she makes me better.

I was actually talking with a friend yesterday about some of the things that I’ve learned from my wife. One of the examples I gave is that she is great at getting people to open up and share. She has always been a great listener. As a journalist, she has really trained herself to draw people out. My ability to recognize this in her as a strength has made me better about truly showing interest in others (now, if I could just remember their names!). If I didn’t have this attitude of respect and service towards her then my arrogance would likely destroy any chance I have at being positively impacted by who she is.

Father, I don’t want to lie to myself and think that I have arrived when it comes to loving this woman, your daughter, to your standard. I’m sorry to you and to her for when I fail her. I don’t mean to. Help me to have open eyes and to love her in the way you want her to be loved. Do it for her sake, and for mine as well.

In Jesus’s name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on June 19, 2019 in Ephesians

 

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Peter & John — 1 Peter 3:1-7

13 Jan

1 Peter 3:1-7 NIV
[1] Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, [2] when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. [3] Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. [4] Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. [5] For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, [6] like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. [7] Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Dear God, oh boy! Now we get to deal with Peter the misogynist. I’m being sarcastic, but that is the first thing some people will see when they read these passages. It’s hard to remember context when you read stuff that was written 2,000 years ago. Heck, it’s hard to remember context for things written five years ago. A lot changes over time, and a lot has changed over the last few years.

I was watching some old Saturday Night Live sketches a few months ago, and when I say old I mean that they were from about eight years ago. The jokes they were making about men and women, sexual harassment, etc. would not be aired today—not even by SNL (South Park, maybe). They would be deemed inappropriate.

Then you go back 40 years. I’ll watch movies like “Smokey and the Bandit” and “Convoy” and consider how they treat law enforcement with such irreverence. I wonder if those movies, especially “Smokey and the Bandit” would be made in the same way today. How much of the script would be changed?

Of course, you can go back 150 years to The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and consider the language Mark Twain used to refer to black people. Of course, his publisher would never allow that now. Published for the first time in 2019, the book would have to be severely edited.

On the one hand, it is good that all of these things have morphed over time. We are growing as a society and as humans. We are recognizing the prejudices that have been baked into us as we grew. On the other hand, I think all of these pieces of art and recordings of our history help us to see where we used to be and how far we have come. One of the things I love about the #metoo movement is that Hollywood has taken its eyes off of judging a lot of society for things of which it disapproves and they have turned it back on themselves. We are all growing.

So I say all of that, probably unnecessarily, to point out that this is Peter (and Paul did it too) moving the ball forward. This is Peter telling women that they have power and influence that is beyond their sexuality. He might not have totally gotten it and been “lit” on this issue, but he was certainly pushing the boundaries of a cultural norm of the time. And then he turned it on the husbands. He tells them that their treatment of their wife will impact their relationship with you (“…so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”). No, Peter is not “lit,” but anyone judging him for that probably doesn’t realize how “unlit” they themselves are.

Father, give me a mind that is open enough for the Holy Spirit to give me your thoughts. Be glorified in my words and my actions. Help me to see your truth beyond the millennia of lies that have been baked into my training. And help me to be the man my wife needs me to be. No, better said, help me to be the man that you need me to be for my wife. And help her to be what you need for me. Teach me through her and teach her through me. Do this all so that you might use us in your world for your maximum glory and the benefit of others.

In Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen

 
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Posted by on January 13, 2019 in 1 Peter, Peter and John

 

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Emails to God – Leaving and Cleaving (Genesis 2:24)

08 Oct

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Dear God, I have always found this verse interesting because this isn’t, in fact, how we act as in reality. It seems that even the Jewish custom, from what I understand, is for the wife to leave her family and become part of her husband’s family. More often than not, women are asked to leave their father and mother and unite to their husbands, as opposed to the husband leaving his parents. Why is that, and is that Biblical?

Frankly, of all of the extended family relationships I have observed in my personal life and at work, usually the most difficult one is the wife getting along with her husband’s mother and/or sister(s). These relationships tend to be very frustrating. Mothers have special bonds with their sons and it can be hard for them to turn their care over to another woman. Most husbands, on the other hand, as long as they are hardworking and nice to the wives, get along with their in-laws just fine.

So what should the Biblical model look like, and who is responsible for pulling it off? I think that it looks like a man growing up and turning loose of his parents’ expectations and control over him. He needs to become his own man, which is something too many men fail to do (I am always irritated when there is a mother calling at work to make a medical appointment for her 51-year-old son). This often breaks down, however, because the mother’s husband isn’t there to help the mother let go of the son. My dad told me something one time that I’ve never forgotten: “It is the mother’s job to nurture the child, and the father’s job to help the mother let go.” That’s an over generalization, and he knows that, but I think it is largely truth.

Father, help me to be a husband who cleaves to his wife, and help me to be a husband who helps his own wife and son through that process. Help me to be the man you need me to be for my wife and for my mother. Bless our son through me, and if he gets married one day, bless his marriage through me as well. Of course, I also want what is best for my daughter, and want you to bless her. I will just need to think and pray through what that looks like as well.

 
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Posted by on October 8, 2012 in Genesis

 

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