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Prayer after Communion

04 Apr

Grant, we pray, O Lord,
That, as we pass from old
to new,
So, with former ways left
behind,
We may be renewed in
Holiness of mind.

Prayer after Communion

Dear God, communion is an interesting thing Jesus left us. I’m sorry that it has, to some extent, become a divider among Christians. I think it grieves you that this has happened. I’m sure Jesus thought it was pretty simple at that last supper. He’s in anguish. He’s knows he’s about to suffer. If he had any doubts that he would suffer, they were certainly removed by Moses and Elijah at the Transfiguration (Luke 9:31). So here he is with his disciples, and he gives them a symbol of what will happen to his body (broken) and blood (poured out). A few months ago I actually wondered if every meal we have shouldn’t be communion. If every time I bite into a sandwich or even a tortilla–maybe more especially a tortilla–I shouldn’t be remembering Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection. When I pray before a meal, should that be the focus of the prayer, or at least included as part of it. Have we just made something given to us as a beautiful gift into something else that we can use to divide us and drive a wedge between us?

Wow, I didn’t expect to go here this morning with this reading from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, but that’s where my thoughts led me. To lament and see that some repentance on my part might be due. This is really going to make me rethink everything, or at least every time I break bread.

Back to this prayer itself, that I would experience the leaving behind of my former self and renew myself to your holiness through the broken body and poured out blood of Jesus, yes, I claim this. Even in this time with you this morning, with no bread or body around anywhere, I submit to you, thank you for everything you are–from the God of the Old Testament, to yourself revealed through Jesus in the New Testament, to the Holy Spirit with me this morning–and pray that you will help me to walk forward with a renewed heart and mind.

Father, thank you for being with me this morning. Help me to sink into you. As I go to work this morning, help me to worship you well and love others through that work. As I interact with family and friends, help me to love them well and to be your ambassador of love to them.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – April 3, 2025

03 Apr

We evoke your mercy in
Humble Prayer, O Lord,
That you may cause us,
Your servants,
Corrected by penance
and schooled by good
works,
To persevere sincerely in
Your commands
And come safely to the
Paschal festivities.

Collect for Mass of the Day – April 3, 2025

Dear God, lead me on. When I read this passage this morning, what jumped to mind was the Amy Grant song “Lead Me On.” This is a journey. Trials. Pain. Victories. Sorrows. Celebrations. Laments. Lead me on!

Today marks the 25th anniversary of these prayer journals. It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing them this long. They have changed my life. I’m not the same 30-year-old who started doing these on April 3, 2000. I have more bruises and callouses. I also have some great testimonies of what you’ve done in my life. I can look back at the major events in my life since then and honestly say that they would literally not have happened if I hadn’t been doing these prayer journals.

Of course, I remember the time I stopped doing them for over a year and a half. That might have been the lowest point of my life. I remember praying to you and telling you that I wasn’t angry with you, but I just couldn’t get motivated to pray to you in this way. And I honestly felt that way at the time. But in retrospect, if I wasn’t angry with you, I was certainly disappointed. While I rejected the idea of prosperity gospel, I think I had bought into a certain level of belief that you would give me at least a little something of what I wanted in exchange for my worship and obedience. I still don’t understand what happened then or what is still happening now, but I have learned that my life is truly not about me. It is about how you will use it regardless of the consequences to me. And, to be sure, I have a very good life. But there is pain, and I am learning how to let you comfort me in that pain instead of complaining that you allowed the pain to happen.

My wife asked me over dinner last night what I think it’s done for me–all these thousands of prayer journals. I told her that on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being Jesus and 1 being who I was before I met you, I think it has moved me from a 1.6 to a 1.8. But that is closer to being more Christlike than I was before. Maybe tomorrow I can hit a 1.81. But I could also digress to a 1.5. There is just so much of you, and I have so far to go. But you are worth it. The peace and joy I find in your presence are worth it. If I can truly get my heart to where Job gets at the end of his story and Paul gets throughout the Epistles of just realizing it’s not about me, but it’s all about you, then I can continue to make that little bit of progress each day.

Father, for everything that happens, please don’t waste it. Even when I make a mistake, don’t waste the mistake. Help me to not waste time on regret, but to turn that regret into repentance and then moving forward in you. As I start this 26th year of journaling my prayers to you in this way, I pray that you will speak to me in this space. Holy Spirit, sit with me and pray with me. Teach me. Take my heart to the Father. I worship you, my Triune God.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2025 in Miscellaneous, Musings and Stories, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Isaiah 49:14-15

02 Apr

14 Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us;
    the Lord has forgotten us.”

15 “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child?
    Can she feel no love for the child she has borne?
But even if that were possible,
    I would not forget you!

Isaiah 49:14-15

Dear God, verse 15 is so powerful and wonderful. So reassuring. You built in a love of child into parents–especially mothers–that is amazing. And you knew how to put it there because that love for us is in you.

What’s interesting is that it is easier and easier for a child to forget its parent, just as it is easier and easier for us to forget you. There is an epidemic in our country today of adult children walking away from their families of origin. There can be any number of reasons for this. There can be unhealed pain. There can be just plain ol’ selfishness and even cruelty. Vengeance for something either done or perceived to have been done. And it can be hard, as the adult child, to see the parent with your eyes. To give them grace.

And we do this to you. We walk away, either from unhealed pain or selfishness. We might even want to be intentionally cruel to you or exact our vengeance upon you for something we perceived you did that we felt betrayed us.

But your love for us does not work that way. You never forget. You never leave. You are the father on the porch, waiting for us to come down the road. You give us the freedom to walk away, but you also never take away our freedom to turn around and come home.

Father, I have pain as a parent. I am sorry I have inflicted that kind of pain on you in the past. I am sorry my figurative brothers and sisters in the world continue to inflict that kind of pain on you. I hope that my love and the love from my other figurative brothers and sisters who are worshipping you today brings you joy in your existence. I willingly and gladly receive your love. I give you my heart and my soul.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 2, 2025 in Isaiah, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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John 5:1-6

01 Apr

5 Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. 2 Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. 3 Crowds of sick people—blind, lame, or paralyzed—lay on the porches. 5 One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”

John 5:1-6

Dear God, off of the top of my head, I can’t think of many or any examples of Jesus proactively approaching the sick person and offering healing. Maybe there are, but when I read this passage this morning, that is what struck me. Maybe this is semantics, but Jesus didn’t say, “May I heal you?” He asked, “Would you like to get well?” Again, maybe I’m reading too much into this and there are cultural norms and customs at play, but the intimation of this verbiage in 21st Century English is that there is a chance the man wanted to stay sick by the pool. It had been his life for 38 years. It would be a lot to take it away. Even though it was awful, it was all he knew.

I have so many analogies running through my head right now for how this can be true of us now. Do I want to give up my sins and follow after you? Well, I’ve gotten kind of used to my sin and this life. The devil I know is better than the life in you that I don’t know. Or when I think of how we are all afraid of death, but I wonder if you don’t see this life for us as the equivalent of us lying by this pool. That’s not to say you don’t have us here and have a role for us here. Our human lives are precious and important. But you have the perspective of what we don’t on the life that is to come. “Don’t be afraid.”

I suppose I should read Sister Miriam’s commentary on this passage from Restored: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation. She focused on being present with you and letting you heal us, and then for us to be present with others, allowing you to flow through us to them.

Father, I have sorrows. I have areas of my heart and soul that need healed. Some are of my own making. Some are things done to me. Some, I can’t tell whose fault it is, mine or someone else’s. But I want to sit with you in this moment and tell you that, yes, I want to be healed. I don’t know what that healing even looks like because I do think sorrow is important sometimes. I think lament is appropriate. I think mourning is appropriate. Jesus even said it is blessed to mourn and to be comforted. So help me to use my sorrow and turn it into comfort for others. I have a friend who’s coming up on the one-year anniversary of his wife passing. Help me to comfort him. Love him through me. Love the people I touch today through me. And use the comforting process to heal my own heart as well.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on April 1, 2025 in John, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Luke 15:25-32

30 Mar

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, 26 and he asked one of the servants what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’

28 “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, 29 but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. 30 Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’

31 “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 32 We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”

Luke 15:25-32

Dear God, I just had this thought while reading this passage this morning: I wonder what the angels think of us humans and your fascination with us. I mean, I know the least in heaven is greater than the greatest of us, so I think they are beyond the jealousy expressed by the older son in this story, and they likely share your affection for us since they get sent here to care for us.

I’m asking because it makes me think that perhaps we should adopt their apparent attitude towards us when we think about our fellow humans we think we are better than. The ones we don’t think deserve you. I think they probably see us as your loved, created beings, and we should all see each other that same way.

In Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation, Sister Miriam focuses today on giving to others–alms giving. As she puts it in the last paragraph, “Giving alms frees us from narrow-mindedness, stinginess, and disordered attachment to things. It brings about the realization that we belong to each other. We need it. Oh, how we need it. It can often be penitential because it cuts us at our deepest level of selfishness and self-centeredness. The world is not all about us. The other serves as a constant reminder that we are made for communion and relationship.”

Father, I think they older brother in this story could have used a little more of a giving spirit. My wife and I try to discipline ourselves to give, but that will be wasted if we don’t also allow that giving to touch our hearts with compassion. There are people out there who frustrate me. And I confess that I look down upon them and judge them. I am judgmental and not curious. Help me to be more curious about them and to love them as your children, just as much as the angels love us.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2025 in Luke, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 51

29 Mar

Psalm 51

For the choir director: A psalm of David, regarding the time Nathan the prophet came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1 Have mercy on me, O God,
    because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
    blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt.
    Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion;
    it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
    I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
    and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner—
    yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the womb,
    teaching me wisdom even there.

7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again;
    you have broken me—
    now let me rejoice.
9 Don’t keep looking at my sins.
    Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
    Renew a loyal spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,
    and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
    and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
    then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
    that my mouth may praise you.

16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
    You do not want a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
    You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;
    rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—
    with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings.
    Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

Dear God, it’s so remarkable we have any of this. That David’s sin was known, recorded, and then maintained in a way that I would know about it today. That David was confronted and humiliated by Nathan. And then to not only know that he repented of his sin, but that his repentance, at least in part, is recorded in this psalm. He was not only broken, but he vulnerably shared his brokenness with the world at the time and the world for all time. They took this repentant psalm, labeled it for exactly what it was, and then gave it to the Israelites to use when they had their own repentance to do. Like I said, it’s remarkable.

I guess the two questions I have this morning are, 1.) how good am I at truly searching my heart and repenting and 2.) how willing am I to publicly repent and give others not only an example of a flawed fellow sojourner but also an example of what to do about it?

Scale of 1-10, I would say I’m about a 5 on searching my soul and heart, discerning the sin in my life, and then repenting. One thing I’ll say about the “reconciliation” (i.e., confession) in Catholicism is that it makes you think about it, name it, and then claim it out loud to another person. I don’t believe it is something that has to be done for absolution from you, but I can see the value in it. As for my “Baptist” way of doing it, it can awfully easy to take the light approach and just think of something, tell you I’m sorry about that, and then not think of it anymore.

Regarding sharing my sin with others, I would say it depends on the sin. If it’s something that I’m really ashamed of, I just keep those between you and me. But should I? Should I be more open about sharing all of me with others? For my sake as well as theirs.

Father, as I search my heart and soul this morning, I can feel the sin of self-pity that I’ve given a special space in my heart to occupy. I also feel the sin of selfishness and lethargy. The sin of unintentionality. I am too unintentional about some of my activities, and that leads to slothfulness. I’d love to say I’m just doing “Sabbath” when I’m being slothful, but that’s not really what I’m doing. I’m just being selfish. I will claim some victory over some temptations I’ve had recently that you enabled me to withstand. But there are others that I’ve jumped right into. Undue anger. Judgment of others. Slander. I am sorry. I am really sorry. Help me to be intentional today about Sabbath, worship, loving others, and the work you’ve given me to do, even in my rest.

I pray all of this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 28, 2025

28 Mar

Pour your grace into our
Hearts, we pray, O Lord,
That we may be constantly
Drawn away from unruly
Desires
And obey by your own gift
The heavenly teaching
You give us.

Collect for Mass of the Day – March 28, 2025

Dear God, I decided to start with Sister Miriam’s reading from Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation instead of just starting with the text presented and going off on my own from there. I liked this paragraph from her commentary today. When speaking of “unruly desires,” she said:

We commonly get stuck at the level of “disordered desire,” and as we mentioned earlier, we try to manage that desire or the sin without exploring with the Lord the deeper roots. Christianity is not about sin management or mere behavior modification but rather a complete transformation unto glory. Christ came to help us with these places and to heal our sin and division. He came to bring us into his own divine life.

I had a relative text me a couple of days ago about their 44th anniversary of sobriety from alcohol. I think he would say that his addiction and addressing it a process of addressing some of the things in his life or psyche that he was numbing with the alcohol.

So how do I numb myself from pain, insecurity, or fear? Do I lash out in anger towards others? Do I create noise around me that keeps my mind from being still and feeling the “feels” that are tormenting me? Honestly, these prayer times with you are some of the few moments of the day that I allow for quiet and self-reflection.

Father, yes, I have disordered desires. Help me to address them. It’s not just a matter of repenting for them. It’s also a matter of bringing them to Jesus with the Holy Spirit and seeking the healing he offers from the life he lived, the death he suffered, and then his resurrection. Now, he stands there ready to love on me, comfort me, and heal me. Holy Spirit, walk with me today and show me moment to moment how to experience this healing.

I pray this to the Father in Jesus and with the Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 28, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Entrance Antiphon for Mass of the Day – March 27, 2025

27 Mar

I am the salvation of the
People, says the Lord.
Should they cry to me in
Any distress,
I will hear them and I will
Be their Lord for ever.

Entrance Antiphon for Mass of the Day – March 27, 2025

Dear God, as I think about the reason I am a Christian–to be in right relationship with you with the passage into heaven being an afterthought–I think what Sister Miriam has to say in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation for today’s entry is affirming:

The Lord has place people in our lives who know us and love us and can understand us to varying degrees, but the Lord is the only one who knows and loves us and understands us fully. God knows us better than we know ourselves, and he receives us completely and continually. God does not reject even the places that we reject within ourselves. He is captivating in his goodness, attentiveness, and gentleness.

Yes! You know me. You understand me. You know when I’m right and why I’m right. You also know when I’m wrong and why I’m wrong. You understand my motivations, both good and bad. You have made a path for me to know you as much as humanly possible and then to be completely known by you and loved by you. You are amazing. You are amazing, God.

Father, help me to live in this love today and offer it to others. Help me to undo the manipulative bargain some think they have made with you to obey you so they can get into heaven and avoid hell, and offer then instead a life lived with you that will one day result in being with you in eternity. The question isn’t, “If you died today, do you know where you’ll spend eternity?” The question should be, “If you encounter shame or guilt today, where will you find love and absolution?” At least, I think that’s what the question should be. Regardless, I know there is a peace in knowing you that I don’t have apart from you. Help me to have that peace with you today, and to offer it to others.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 27, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Psalm 119:133

26 Mar

133 Establish my footsteps in Your word,
And do not let any iniquity have dominion over me.

Psalm 119:133

Dear God, the last part of this one verse is so powerful. My iniquities and their influence over my life is a concept that overwhelms and humbles me. How many of the frustrations I’m experiencing now are a result of my iniquities? My sins?

It doesn’t say that David wrote this psalm, but my first thought goes to David and how his dalliance with Bathsheba (rape?) and then murder of Uriah seems to be the touchstone for his family problems later. That iniquity, though repented of in Psalm 51, seemed to have dominion over the rest of his life and even flowed into history. Amnon was the rightful heir to the throne, but Absalom killed him, led a revolt that ultimately led to his death. And Solomon would never have existed if not for David’s relationship with Bathsheba.

So, what can I pray for this morning? Well, somehow, Solomon was the pathway to Jesus through lineage. There was redemption for this somewhere down the line. Can you somehow use the ripples of the sins I’ve committed to do something positive in this world? Can you protect me from my iniquities and keep them from having dominion over me?

Father, I want to be at peace with the sorrows in my life. I can see where I made mistakes that played a role in my current sorrows, but I still don’t know how I ended up in them to the level I’m at. And it hurts. I hurt. So please be in these situations. Don’t let my mistakes and sins (sometimes mistakes aren’t sins) have dominion over me, the ones I love, or the plans you have for us. Help me to know the path forward, which starts with my very next step.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 26, 2025 in Psalms, Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

25 Mar

May your grace not
Forsake us, O Lord, we
Pray,
But make us dedicated to
Your holy service
And at all times obtain for
Us your help

Collect for Mass of the Day – March 25, 2025

Dear God, I want to take the grace you have given me and turn it to the world, to serve and to love in your name. Please help me to do this. I think that is what the “Collect for Mass of the Day” is telling me I should think, and I agree. That is a good life.

I guess one question would be, why do I need this external grace from you. If I’m a human who has made mistakes, why can’t I just forgive myself, apologize to those I wronged, if there are any, and then move on. Why do I need forgiveness from you? How does that make my life better?

Those are actually good questions that have vague answers. For the person who doesn’t believe in you, it is my opinion, that they are still grappling with guilt that they cannot absolve themselves. There is something in our psyche that knows that, while we have sinned against others or even our own bodies, the repentance David gave in Psalm 51 after his affair with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah is appropriate when he says that it is against you he has sinned. Again, my opinion, I think there is something in all of us that knows you’re there, at least in some form, and that we are accountable to you. I talked a week or two ago about the man I know who didn’t like the rules you made, so he decided he would remove you from the equation and, thus, remove his own guilt. I think he’s still living by that philosophy, but I don’t think it’s working. I think he is still burdened by his guilt.

And then going back to the “Collect for Mass of the Day,” if I get to a point where I have come to you, repented, and receive absolution from you, then I can take that freedom and offer it to others. I can love them. I can love you.

Father, let me start with repentance. I confess to you, Almighty God, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words. In what I have done, and what I have failed to do. Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore I ask the Holy Spirit to pray for me. I am sorry. Thank you for redemption and reconciliation through Jesus. Thank you, Father.

I pray this in Jesus and with your Holy Spirit,

Amen

 
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Posted by on March 25, 2025 in Restore: A Guided Lent Journal for Prayer and Meditation

 

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