I think there is real good work–heart work–to do in all this. And, you know, I’ve said this enough in other places that I’ll mention here in this context that part of the work–the heart work–that God has had me doing as my own wife is very sick with brain cancer, that I’m 46 years old, she 46 years old, we’ve got three health and vibrant kids, she’s a marathon runner and a swimmer and it’s been very hard to see her decline. A lot of her disorientation around what’s happening, and it’s like there’s a lot of sad things to say about that. But even as she’s been very sick we’ve had a lot of things to be very joyful about. And the reason I mention that in this context is when we go through things that are periods of suffering, and I certainly have gone through that with my family over the last three years since she was first diagnosed with that, it was June of 2017, our idols began to take shape. You can see them more clearly. We have an idol of health and healthiness. And we have an idol of, you know, sort of relational vibrancy, of being a pair. You know, I’ve seen older–she’s a terminal patient, and so I sometimes will see an older couple who, they’re like talking about their grandkids and I flashforward to the life that I imagined I would live with my wife, and that’s a natural and normal thing for me as a married man to do. But also it’s its own kind of idol because the Lord wants us to, every day, to depend on him for our deepest identity, our, sort of, you know, we’re not promised anything. Our lives, as scripture says, are just a vapor. And so how is it that we as a Christian community today could use the things that God has given us, our stories, even our suffering, and then allow God to use that to tear down and move us past some of the deep idols that we have so that we can become–so that we can live the story that Jesus tells us in scripture. The full and abundant life. And that’s what actually just drives me in my work and my caring for my wife.
David Kinnaman on The Holy Post Podcast Episode #411 (1:04:30 mark)
Dear God, idols, idols, idols. How many do I have? Can I count that high? My relationships with my children. My wife. That’s just a start. Stable income. Helping the poor. Christian service. Working out. Weight loss. Gluttony.
I was listening to this podcast yesterday, and this man describing his vision of how his life should be turning out as being an idol in his life with which he has had to reckon really struck me. Been there. Still there. My own health. My wife’s health. See, I just keep coming up with more. My right to respite, travel, and fun. My goodness, when I examine my heart just a little I find idols everywhere.
I have a particularly challenging situation I’m facing at work right now. I want to absolutely do what is right and what you want done. I don’t want to make an idol out of friendships or the path that is easier for me. I also don’t want to be rash and cruel. I don’t want to throw out the baby with the bathwater. I want to be an example of your presence. I want the organization to be better for having gone through this. I want each individual to be better for having gone through this.
Father, I know my biggest failure in this area over the years is the idol I made of my relationship with my children. I’m slowly learning to turn loose of them and care more about what they need from me to and experience you rather than what I need from them to satisfy my ego or insecurities. But I know I have other idols too. Heck, I’ve listed just a few of them for you. Help me to know how to die to these idols and give all of my worship to you. Ooo, that seems like a dangerous prayer. Be gentle with me, please.
In Jesus’s name I pray,
Amen
Emails to God 