"Something Wicked" by Callie Feyen leaves sweep across the street and branches bend the wind messes with papers birds can't fly right windows slam without human touch car doors fling open hair goes everywhere and nowhere when the rain comes it falls sideways maybe that's a summer wind maybe that wind means well an over exuberant child begging to be put in the game the winter wind acts like it's won bullys with icy breath that picks at your legs through your jacket to your stomach straight to the heart winter wind acts like change will never come again acts like it can wipe out anything and everything doesn't want the world to remember that even in a barren land what falls always leaves remnants waiting to grow again ready to converge with what rises* *[Feyen's note] Everything That Rises Must Converge by Flannery O’Connor is my new favorite title, and a phrase I wonder about now most of my days.
Dear God, I read this poem this morning when I woke up, and it made me think about the wind in a different way. Living in Texas, summertime wind is almost always welcome as it helps cool things off. The town I live in was intentionally laid out on a Northwest/Southeast axis so that when the south wind blows it will come in the windows of two sides of the house and not just one. We need the wind in the summer to make being outside tolerable. It is our friend. It combines with the sweat that comes out of me to cool me. The closer my skin is to the wind the better. At the same time we are welcoming the wind, we are shielding ourselves from the sun. Shade is a premium. Trees. Tents. Gazebos. Even a cloudy day is a welcome sight in the summer. The temperature difference between being in the sun and being in the shade is huge. So, to summarize, summertime = wind/good + sun/bad.
The winter is opposite. For the short times of the year we experience winter down here, we shield ourselves from the wind. Even this morning, we had the windows open overnight and the study was chilly when I walked in. The ceiling fan was on because it runs 24/7 from March through November. But as I sat down, I realized I needed to turn off the fan. Even the small breeze from a ceiling fan on medium speed was not welcome in my study this morning. As the days will turn colder, I will shield myself from the wind. On the really cold days, I might even cover my face. The wind will hurt my skin. It will steal my warmth and run away. But I will seek out the sun. I’ll prefer to be in it rather than under a tree. I’ll open the shade that covers the moon roof of my truck for six months of the year. I will seek warmth because nature will be doing everything it can to take it from me. So, to summarize, wintertime = wind/bad + sun/good.
All of this leads me into the metaphor for my life. When I read Feyen’s poem this morning, it made me think of the winters of my life that can come in and bully the summer away. And sometimes it seems like that winter will last forever. I want protection from it. When things are good my temptation is to pray less and just live for myself more. But winter reminds me that I need your protection from the wind. I need your sun (Son?) to warm me. I need to clothe myself in prayer, godly inputs, and positive relationships. Summer requires self-discipline to remember to worship you and thank you for what I have, but winter drives me to you. And sometimes my self-discipline fails and I need to be driven to you. I need to be reminded I need you for my very breath. Winter has its place in my life. So I don’t fight it. I just clothe myself in you and see out your Son.
Father, form me today. In the words of the song “Spirit of the Living God,” break me, melt me, mold me, fill me. And let your presence, your Holy Spirit, fall afresh on me.
I pray this in Jesus with your Holy Spirit,
Amen
Emails to God 