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Emails to God – Figuring Out When Your Child is Grown (Matthew 12:46-50)

25 Jan

46 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. 47 Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”

48 He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Dear God, it can be so hard to know what is appropriate when you grow up. Sure, Jesus was at least 30 in this story, so he was pretty grown up, but I am 41 and it can still be hard to know when to bend to my parents’ will and when to draw a line and say that I need to do something different.

The same is true from the parents’ side. Our children are teenagers right now. They aren’t quite ready to be on their own (although they probably think they are more ready than my wife and I do), but they are ready to make some decisions for themselves. So what kinds of decisions do we turn over to them and what do we keep for ourselves? I make mistakes in this area all of the time. Frankly, lately, I have been wondering if I haven’t been erring too much on the side of letting them make their own decisions. I actually feel like I have given them too much freedom and it isn’t working.

Father, teach me to parent my children at the ages they are at now, and to parent them as they grow. I have no answers. I only have questions. I had no idea it would be this hard and that I would feel soooo unequal to the task. So please love them through me. Parent them through me. Please help my wife and me to be completely united as their parents. Help us to be completely united as man and wife. Love and encourage them through us and guide them into a life of oneness with you.

 
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Posted by on January 25, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Exploring–and Understanding–Domestic Violence (“Love the Way You Lie”)

24 Jan

Okay, we’re going to go a little edgier with this one. I heard this song as I drove home from a meeting tonight. I’ve heard it several times before, but thought I would share it with you tonight. It’s pretty powerful.

Domestic violence is something that is scary and can happen in every socioeconomic background. It isn’t just something that happens to the poor. One time I was having lunch with a donor to our Center. She was elderly and widowed. Her husband had been a prominent member of the community. During lunch she told me about the years of physical and emotional abuse. She was not very sad when he died.

On the other side, we had a patient at our clinic who shot her husband this summer because she couldn’t take the violence anymore. Why didn’t she leave before she did this? That’s a complicated answer.

This duet between Rihanna and Eminem explains a little of what women and men experience when they find themselves in the cycle of domestic violence–especially if they grew up in it. Did you know that women have to leave their husband/boyfriend an average of seven times before they finally leave?

Since you can’t really appreciate this song without hearing the song, here is a link to a youtube version that gives you the lyrics along with the audio. Maybe it will help you understand the friend who won’t leave her husband. Maybe it will give you the courage to break this type of a cycle in your own life. Anyway, here’s “Love the Way You Lie Part 2“.

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2012 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Emails to God – Aspiring to be a Ninevite (Matthew 12:38-45)

24 Jan

38 Then some of the Pharisees and teachers of the law said to him, “Teacher, we want to see a sign from you.”

39 He answered, “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah. 40 For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of a huge fish, so the Son of Man will be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth. 41 The men of Nineveh will stand up at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for they repented at the preaching of Jonah, and now something greater than Jonah is here. 42 The Queen of the South will rise at the judgment with this generation and condemn it; for she came from the ends of the earth to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, and now something greater than Solomon is here.

43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

Dear God, Jesus seems to be pretty frustrated here. But I like the analogy here to Nineveh. I have always been amazed at their willingness to repent. What was going on in their lives and society that made them so willing to submit to you? How were they so ready to embrace you.

There is some kind of line here between those who believe themselves to be righteous (the people Jesus is speaking to) and those who know they are not and need you. But I think what Jesus is looking for are those who already reject evil and yet are willing to embrace him/you too.

Father, help me to be embrace you regardless of how in control I might feel. Help me to completely turn loose of my self-righteousness and consider it as worthless to me so that I might feel your direction and love. Be glorified in me. Give me your peace. More importantly, give me your direction. Show me how to leave my family and lead my business. Show me how to manage my own life. When you think of me, I hope you think of me more as someone who is from Nineveh and less like someone who is in Jesus’ audience in this story.

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – The Hope and Despair of Poverty (“Fast Car”)

21 Jan

I was out on a bike ride tonight and one of the songs that came on my play list was Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”. You may have heard it, but have you ever really listened to the words. I used to work for a nonprofit near a government housing project and I can see a lot of the pain and the cycle of multigenerational poverty in this song. So let’s take a look at what it says:

“Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car And I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we’ll make something But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won’t have to drive too far Just ‘cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man’s got a problem He live with the bottle that’s the way it is
He says his body’s too old for working I say his body’s too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody’s got to take care of him So I quit school and that’s what I did

You got a fast car But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving driving in your car The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us And your arm felt nice wrapped ’round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain’t got a job And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better You’ll find work and I’ll get promoted
We’ll move out of the shelter Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

You got a fast car And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I’d always hoped for better Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain’t going nowhere So take your fast car and keep on driving

You got a fast car But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision You leave tonight or live and die this way

See what I mean? Cool song. I see people like this every day in my job. Some of them dream. Some of them work hard and hope for better, but then something happens. I think my biggest fear as the father of a girl is that she will find a man who turns out to be like the man or the father in the song.

I’ll close with giving you Wikipedia’s description of the song and what it means.

The song is a narrative tale of genrational poverty. The song’s narrator tells the story of her hard life, which begins when her mother divorces her jobless, alcoholic father, forcing the narrator to quit school in order to care for him. Eventually, she leaves her hometown with her partner in hopes of making a better life. Despite her employment at a grocery store she falls victim to the cycle of poverty, as her life begins to mirror her mother’s: her partner remains largely unemployed and becomes an alcoholic. She is left alone with her children while her partner spends time drinking with friends. Finally, after getting a job that will support her family, she comes to accept her life as the way it is and to give up chasing empty dreams. She tells her partner to leave her; to take “your fast car and keep on driving.” The final refrain is sung in variation, changing from “We gotta make a decision, leave tonight or live and die this way” to “You gotta make a decision, leave tonight or live and die this way.”

 
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Posted by on January 21, 2012 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Emails to God – There’s a Time and a Place for Breaking the Rules (Matthew 12:1-14)

20 Jan

1 At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry and began to pick some heads of grain and eat them. 2 When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him, “Look! Your disciples are doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath.”

3 He answered, “Haven’t you read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4 He entered the house of God, and he and his companions ate the consecrated bread—which was not lawful for them to do, but only for the priests. 5 Or haven’t you read in the Law that the priests on Sabbath duty in the temple desecrate the Sabbath and yet are innocent? 6 I tell you that something greater than the temple is here. 7 If you had known what these words mean, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent. 8 For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.”

9 Going on from that place, he went into their synagogue, 10 and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Looking for a reason to bring charges against Jesus, they asked him, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?”

11 He said to them, “If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? 12 How much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.”

13 Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. 14 But the Pharisees went out and plotted how they might kill Jesus.

Dear God, I have to admit that I never liked the story of David and his men eating the consecrated bread. I don’t think Saul could have gotten away with that. The only thing I can figure out is that you realize that there is a time and a place for breaking rules. The times are few and the places are few, but apparently there is, indeed, at time and a place.

So what kinds of rules are open to interpretation at these special times and places? Of course, there is no way for me to figure that our here. And I think that I will end up having to make these evaluations as I encounter any given situation. But what I think the ultimate thing comes down to is, where is my heart in the decision to break a rule?

I spoke with a friend recently about her divorce. I have seen the pain of divorce up close and personal through my parents having been separated three times, so I can empathize, at least a little, with her pain. Ironically, that same night I was in a Bible study that discussed marriage. It was a Catholic study so they idea of divorce was nonexistent—you have to go through an annulment. The man who led the discussion, to my surprise, was on his fourth marriage. The first was in a Methodist church when he says he was young and dumb—it was short-lived. The second and third were done by Justices of the Peace—one was short and the other 16 years. Before he could marry the fourth time, however, he had recently become Catholic and they told him that he would have to go through the annulment process for at least the first one since that one was in a church (the other two were able to not count since they were civil ceremonies and not before you). The annulment process is apparently arduous, thorough, and not automatic. The Catholic church sees marriage as something that you joined together and only you can break. BUT, to their credit, I think, they do recognize that there is a time to break.

Father, I know my friend is still hurting. I know she would still love reconciliation. I don’t know that that is possible. That ship has likely sailed. So I ask that you would speak to her through your Word, through the books and devotionals that she reads, and through her friends. Help her to see how you are loving her through this. Help her to feel your hand on her life. Help her to see the ways you are touching her each day, each moment, that she didn’t realize before now. It’s an ugly situation, and while she is probably not totally blameless for all of the problems in the marriage, she is blameless in the area of wanting it to end. So honor her for that, help her to feel your release from it, and help her to live this day for you and not be distracted by what she no longer has.

 
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Posted by on January 20, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – The Weary and the Burdened (Matthew 11:25-30)

19 Jan

25 At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26 Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

27 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Dear God, I wonder if verses 27 and 28 are linked together more than I have thought. I almost separated them, but I am starting to think that Jesus reveals you to those who are weary and burdened, looking for rest.

I know that, as my children grow, one of my prayers for them is that they will get to a point of complete submission to you. Frankly, unless we get to the point where we are broken of the idea that we can do it in our own power then there is no way that we will find the peace and joy of surrendering to you. So my prayer for them is that they will completely submit to you, but that their burden will be as light as possible in order to get themselves there. I am their dad and I don’t want to see them suffer under a burden at all. Of course, that is not a realistic goal, so I simply ask that you make their burdens and suffering as light as possible in order to get them where you want them.

Father, I want to be a good father to my children. I also want to be a good son to you. So I turn my life over to you and ask that you do whatever you will to draw me into complete submission to you. I understand it might mean my suffering. I also understand that it might be more than I THINK I can take. But I tell you in this moment that I want you more than I want anything else. Be glorified in me.

 
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Posted by on January 19, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Performing Miracles for Repentance (Matthew 11:20-24)

18 Jan

20 Then Jesus began to denounce the towns in which most of his miracles had been performed, because they did not repent. 21 “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. 22 But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. 23 And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted to the heavens? No, you will go down to Hades. For if the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. 24 But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgment than for you.”

Dear God, it is interesting that the purpose of miracles is repentance. From this passage, it seems that the miracles weren’t for those who were healed, but for those who witnessed the healing. They weren’t as much about mercy as they were about getting people to realize that they were in your presence, recognize their sin, and then turn from it and devote themselves to you.

Getting to a point of repentance can be hard. I think the big thing is that it requires a combination of stirring by the Holy Spirit and the person finally reaching the end of their rope. That is how the person repenting for the first time often comes to repentance (especially when they are adults). What frustrates me are the times when I continue to sin even after I have repented. I have noticed it in a couple of areas including relating to my wife and children. There are things that I do that are part of my personality and bad habits that annoy and sometimes hurt them. When they reveal them to me I am pretty good about repenting and saying I am sorry, but then I end up doing them again. Ugh! It not only frustrates me, but it frustrates them too.

Father, there are things in my heart for which I repent. I am sorry for failing you and for failing others around me. Help me to respond to you in a way that will bring you delight. I am not saying that I can be perfect, but I at least want my repentance to be genuine and to get at least a little better each time.

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – The Proof of the Pudding is in the Eating (Matthew 11:16-19)

17 Jan

16 “To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others:

17 “‘We played the pipe for you,
and you did not dance;
we sang a dirge,
and you did not mourn.’

18 For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon.’ 19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ But wisdom is proved right by her deeds.”

Dear God, I guess that Jesus is saying that they wanted a prophet and a messiah that they could control and that would do what they expected them to. I imagine that “this generation”, to which he referred, included the Pharisees and Sadducees. I like how Jesus points out that he and John couldn’t win with “this generation”. I think he was indicating that it was the messages of both John and Jesus that were making people uncomfortable so they looked for excuses to discredit them.

I went and looked up this passage in The Message translation, and he had an interesting interpretation of the last sentence: “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.” So the way to judge John and Jesus is to look at their overall body of work and not try to dig into the minutia in an effort to discredit their message.

I wonder what kind of body of work people see in me. Can they see you in me through my deeds? Am I someone who is consistent in all areas of my life? At the same time, is my message bold enough that it makes some uncomfortable, or do I water it down so that people will want to hear it. Regarding consistency, I feel good about that part, but I do worry that I might water down what I am trying to say in order to get people to like me.

Father, I submit all of this to you. I submit my parenting to you. I submit my marriage to you. I submit my employment to you. I submit my church life to you. I submit my friendships to you. I submit my extended family relationships with you too. Be glorified in me, and if that means that you have to cause others to stumble over the words that I say, so be it.

 
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Posted by on January 17, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Refining the Pharisees (Matthew 11:7-15)

15 Jan

7 As John’s disciples were leaving, Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: “What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed swayed by the wind? 8 If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in kings’ palaces. 9 Then what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 10 This is the one about whom it is written:

“‘I will send my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your way before you.’

11 Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. 12 From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been subjected to violence, and violent people have been raiding it. 13 For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John. 14 And if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come. 15 Whoever has ears, let them hear.

Dear God, regarding the historical reference Jesus makes to John in verse 10, here is a chunk of that passage around the one verse Jesus uses in Malachi 3:

“I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come,” says the LORD Almighty.

2 But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. 3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, 4 and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the LORD, as in days gone by, as in former years.”

I am surprised that Jesus didn’t add more of the passage than he did. Who know? Maybe he did and Matthew didn’t record it. Or perhaps he left it implied so that it would be something the Pharisees would get but maybe the rest of the crowd wouldn’t. It could have been a backhanded insult to the Pharisees while he was exemplifying John.

When I think about Pharisees who were, indeed, refined and made into pure gold and silver, I think of Nicodemus and Joseph Arimathea. I think what made them different is that they were willing to have their hearts purified. They were open to being challenged and accepting the idea that they were wrong.

That has been one of the more interesting, and difficult, parts of exploring Catholicism for me. When I entered into the RCIA class I really did do it with an open mind—or as open as I am capable of making my mind. I looked to see if there were some changes in my theology that I needed to make. And I have, indeed, made a few. For example. I am willing to accept the idea of Mary, along with the other saints, praying for me. Sure. Why not? But there are still some concepts that have really challenged my own beliefs, and I’m just not quite ready to embrace them yet. Not embracing them will prevent me from “converting”, but is that a problem? No. In the end, I don’t want this to be about “converting” to Catholicism, but about simply refining and purifying my faith into something that will continually draw me deeper into you.

Father, help me to see you clearly. Help me to embrace you as wholly as I can. Love others through me. Love my wife through me. Love my children through me. Use me in the lives of others so that you might be glorified in both my life and their lives. As I am with my extended family this afternoon, love them through me. Give them a sense of you through me.

 
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Posted by on January 15, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – A Coded Message from Jesus to John (Matthew 11:1-6)

14 Jan

Matthew 11:1-6

1 After Jesus had finished instructing his twelve disciples, he went on from there to teach and preach in the towns ofGalilee.

2 When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples 3 to ask him, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”

4 Jesus replied, “Go back and report to John what you hear and see: 5 The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. 6 Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.”

Dear God, there are two interesting things here: 1. John the Baptist doubted. Sure he was in prison, but his faith waned. 2. Jesus said, “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” That implies that there will be those who stumble, but it is their fault that they stumble. But there will also be those who do not stumble over Jesus and his teaching, but embrace it and walk with it. Those people will be celebrated (blessed).

Regarding John’s doubts, this is so encouraging for me because he knew Jesus for most of his life. He somehow knew who Jesus was in terms of being the messiah at Jesus’ baptism. And yet, sitting in prison, facing death for being so outspoken, he doubted. He wondered if he had done it all for nothing. He had been so radical in his life. Should he have been?

So Jesus affirmed him. The affirmation is a little cryptic. I wonder if it was an inside deal with them. I wonder if they talked as children and dreamed of what would happen when Jesus came into his ministry. In essence, this seems cryptic, but it is a code that John would understand?

I wonder if this second part (about the stumbling) was part of the code too. I wonder if, as children, they talked about how they would offend and be rejected by some. John was looking for some peace and restoration of his faith. I never thought of it before, but I wonder if Jesus was doing that by taking advantage of the personal relationship they had had since their childhoods.

Father, there are times when my faith fails. Frankly, my faith was needing some affirmation on Monday. I took a day to fast and pray and then you spent the rest of the week affirming my faith. Thank you. Thank you for how you have answered my prayers. Thank you for how you will continue to answer my prayers. You care about me. You care about those around me whom you want to bless through me. So I submit myself to you and thank you for not rejecting me for my mini crises in faith, but, instead, you affirm me and bless me.

 
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Posted by on January 14, 2012 in Matthew

 

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