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Emails to God – Me Forgive Them? (Matthew 18:21-35)

17 Mar

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.[g]

23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Dear God, does being resentful mean unforgiveness? There is one person in my life who hurt me a few years ago. They are the person who comes to mind whenever I ask myself if there is anyone I haven’t forgiven. This person did something that I felt betrayed me for their own selfish gain. I am publicly nice to them. I don’t trash the person to other people. But at the same time the hurt that they caused me is still there. If I see them in public I don’t want to talk with them. I don’t think I would go out of my way to help them unless it was something they really needed. But I don’t know if that means unforgiveness.

I guess I need to figure out what it means to forgive. Does it really mean to send something away from myself as far as the east is from the west? I know women who are victims of sexual abuse. What does forgiveness look like for them? How does one really turn loose of that kind of pain (for the record, what was done to me is nothing compared to something like sexual abuse)? In order to forgive us, you had to sacrifice your own son and look at us through his pure and holy death. You don’t see me alone, but me through Him. I don’t have that luxury.

Father, I don’t want to disappoint you because of my inability to adequately forgive someone. Please show me what it means to love my enemies. Please show me what it means to truly forgive. If Judas had lived, I wonder how the disciples would have dealt with their bitterness towards him. Could they have seen, in retrospect, that Jesus needed to die to fulfill the plan, or would they have seen that Jesus needed to die, but Judas didn’t have to betray him to make it happen, and therefore had a hard time forgiving him? I don’t know. But I know that I still resent this person, and if it is holding me back from receiving more of you or any of your forgiveness, then I will work on it. I will pay attention to it. I will strive to completely forgive.

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Agreeing with My Wife (Matthew 18:18-20)

15 Mar

18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

Dear God, I find it interesting to see all of the areas of life where this passage applies. Agreement between believers is huge and it is powerful. I am seeing it in my own family right now.

For probably a couple of years now my wife and I have not agreed on a key issue in our marriage. We have been married almost 20 years, and it has been a great marriage. But I have felt this disagreement slowly tearing strands of our relationship apart. She has felt that she couldn’t trust me in this one area, and I have felt like I couldn’t trust her in the same area. But lately, in fact, just this morning, we abruptly got on the same page. They say that every alcoholic has to bottom out before they will get help. Well, I think we needed to bottom out before we come to agreement on how to manage this one aspect of our lives. While there is some difficulty ahead as we forge this path together, I actually feel more relief and hope now than I did even two hours ago.

Father, help me to be the husband my wife needs me to be—the husband you need for her to have. Help me to be the father you need for my children to have. I have so much to learn, and I make so many mistakes. My wife would tell you (and I’m sure she does because she is a beautifully faithful woman) that she makes mistakes too. But the beauty in her and, I hope, in me is that we are willing to repent and turn from our mistakes. Help me to do that. Help her to do that. And help us to train our children to be able to do that.

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Sharing Information So We Can Pray About It (a.k.a. Gossiping) (Matthew 18:15-17)

14 Mar

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Dear God, I think I’d just rather gossip about the person doing the wrong thing than confront them with it. That’s the truth. When I read this passage my default church mind, full of the platitudes I have heard my whole life, agrees and says, “Of course, that is what I should do. And that is what I do because I believe in this teaching.” But then when I stop and think of examples in my own life when I have come across someone who I think is doing the wrong thing, what are the actions I have taken in those situations? As near as I can tell, I usually don’t confront them, but I might just point out their flaw to someone else. Really, don’t most of us do that?

One of the sayings I love is that Christians don’t gossip. We just share information so we can pray about it. The other wonder saying we use here in the South is, “Well, bless their heart, they just shouldn’t be doing [this, that, or the other].”

So what would it look like if actually refrained from gossiping, but followed Jesus’ admonition here? How could I better be a constructive confronter and not a gossiper? How would it change my life and how others see me if I never talked negatively about anyone, but only took my negative thoughts to the person if I deemed it important enough to do so?

Father, this is a good word for me. It is a good reminder that I need to really watch my tongue and also allow myself to be more confrontational for the sake of those I know and love. So help me to do this. Help me to glorify you. Help me to be the kind of person that people will respect enough so that you can speak to them through me. Help me to confront constructively. And speak to me through others as well. I am sure there are things about me that people see and feel are wrong. Help me to hear you through them.

 
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Posted by on March 14, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Wandering Children (Matthew 18:10-14)

12 Mar

10 “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. [11]

12 “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

Dear God, I have to say that I have always really liked this story. It is nice to be one of your children, and it is nice to know that you will come looking for me if I wander off. Of course, if I wander off, you will also let me live with some of the results of the mistakes I make while I am gone.

As a dad of teenagers, I can understand this concept. When they were in grade school it was easy to keep my eye on them and know that they were safe. Now that they are teenagers, however, it is harder to know. I have to let them wander a little. I am blessed in that neither of my kids has wandered too far or done anything that makes me fear, but I can easily see that fear sitting over my shoulder, waiting to grip me. So there are a couple of lessons here. First, it is okay to give your children age-appropriate freedom to live their lives and wander a bit, but, second, it is also important to go after and look for them if they wander too far.

Father, I don’t know how you do it. I have felt rejection as a father, but it is nothing compared with the rejection you feel as our father. I even reject you far too often, and make foolish decisions that must just frustrate you to no end. But you are merciful to me. You are kind to me. You love me. Help me to do the same for my children. And please forgive me for the frustrations that I cause you and those I love.

 
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Posted by on March 12, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – “Staring At A Bird” by The Waiting

10 Mar

It’s song time again. One of the great things about the shuffle feature on an ipod is that it will sometimes reveal songs from your past. I had that happen this week while driving to work.

I was unemployed for about six months in 2003 and then again in 2005. I really had to fight off depression during that time as I experienced a lot of rejection and had a hard time feeling useful. This song is one that I listened to almost every day. It reminded me that I have a freedom, joy, and ability to be carefree and courageous in Jesus that I often forget. It reminded me in the morning that I needed to get out of bed, exercise, and find some work to do, even if it was volunteering. I especially like the first words of the chorus: “I’m pinned down in my bed again. I don’t think I could fly, I wouldn’t try.”

Before we get going, here’s a link to the song on youtube so you can hear it for yourself. It’s a pretty obscure one that you probably haven’t heard. I worked for a Christian music publisher from 1990-97 so I had access to a lot of obscure music back then. Makes me wonder what great obscure music I’m missing out on now.

“Staring at a Bird” by The Waiting

I’m here staring at a bird in a tree
Lying still, only wishing he were me
‘Cause for a bird it’s not a crime to try and satisfy
His bird belly hunger or fly the blue belly sky
And from his bird’s eye view
He can pick and he can choose
He doesn’t have to grieve his spirit no he doesn’t have to lose
a moment’s joy there in his nest no matter what his mess,
He can barrel out his chest and he can fly away…

CHORUS
But I’m pinned down in my bed again
I don’t think I could fly (I wouldn’t try)
If I was a bird I would be content
To peck along the ground
‘Cause I’m pinned down again…

I’m here staring at a bird on a limb
Lying still, only wishing I was him
‘Cause I could use a haven, a nest above my fate
Call it a rest from the chasing of my pillow and my plate
And for a bird it’s always right to love his appetite
He’s too dumb to know the struggle, too weak to know the fight
He can fly south when he gets cold, sing until he’s old
And on a whim he can unfold his wings and fly away

CHORUS

I’m here staring at a bird in the air
I wonder what I’d see if I looked down from there
I’d see a shattered temple, all its members in a sweat
Everyone’s been degraded, every sermon they forget
I’d see a man pulled from his bed by the same Hands of Love
That hung a cross around his neck
Just to remind him, remind him who he was…

CHORUS

So let’s take a look at the three verses and the chorus.

  • Verse 1: Isn’t it interesting to think about the lack of care and concern an animal seemingly feels for their existence. Almost everything they do seems to be motivated by instinct in the moment and without regard to the future. One of the powerful things I learned from the 17th Letter of C.S. Lewis’ The Screwtape Letters is that Satan wants to do whatever he can to keep us from living in the moment because it is the present that interfaces with God. We can’t interface with him in the past or in the future, but only in the given moment. It seems to me that that is an advantage animals have on us.
  • Verse 2: Favorite line from this verse: “He’s too dumb to know the struggle, too weak to know the fight.” Not that we don’t need to make reasonable plans for the future, but it is dangerous when we start to lose the freedom that God has for us now because we become immobilized by our fears or anticipation of the future. We can become a slave to is and sacrifice the present in the process. Again, learning from the impulsiveness of animals. “Consider the lillies of the field…”
  • Verse 3: What does the bird’s eye view of my life look like? What foolish perspectives do I have that vex God and frustrate Him with me? Most of all, we would see someone whom God truly loves, keeps trying to motivate, and sends back out into the world each day to be a witness to His glory, mercy, peace, and joy.
  • Chorus: Those days when I was unemployed (and even sometimes now), there were times when I literally just wanted to stay in bed all day. Thankfully, I started making myself get out and volunteer at a nonprofit a couple of times a week. I exercised like a fiend in order to get those endorphins going and my brain in the right place. I made myself send out “x” number of resumes a week so that I would feel like I was doing my part to try to find a job (and to show my wife I was trying). I love the image here of a bird with my heart and motivation being limited to pecking along the ground.

So what will my metaphoric bird look like this given Saturday. Where I live, it is cold and rainy today. Can’t really get outside and exercise or trim the bushes, like I planned. So what will I do to barrel out my chest, unfold my wings, and fly?

 
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Posted by on March 10, 2012 in Hymns and Songs

 

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Emails to God – Do I Cause These Little Ones to Stumble? (Matthew 18:6-9)

09 Mar

6 “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. 7 Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! 8 If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9 And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

Dear God, part of me wants to explore the idea of how literal Jesus was being in verses eight and nine, but I think I’m going to leave that one alone. Too complicated.

I am interested, however, in the idea of not being the cause of others to stumble. I was talking with a man yesterday who is leading a “new member class” for a given denomination. I’ve been in the class since September and I’ve decided that I’m not going to join simply because there are a couple theological issues in the way. That and, frankly, they want me to make a life-long commitment to this denomination and I’m not prepared to commit my life to any church or denomination for the rest of my life. But as the man and I talked and I brought up a couple of the theological differences he said that he wished I would have brought them up during the class so that we can discuss them. I told him I had no desire to do that because it didn’t matter to me if they disagreed with me or not and I didn’t want to plant any seeds of doubt in those going through the class. The theological differences don’t imperil the soul so they just aren’t important. I could tell he was frustrated with my answer, but it really was true.

I think one of the harder things to do is to decide how to best advise others when they are in crisis. My temptation is to give them guidance and direction. But what if my guidance and advice is wrong. I have another friend whose wife is going through a hard time. This friend is serving you in a very sacrificial and faithful way. There is a part of me that thinks that his service to you, though admirable, is asking too much of her. But I don’t dare advise him to change his service to you. I would NOT want to advise him in a way that is contradictory to your call to him. So I have done my best to just share my own life with him, invite him to share his with me, and then pray that you will guide him as he figures out how to minister to his wife.

Father, please keep me from feeling like I have to have the answers for everyone around me. Help me to lovingly support others while learning to be your words and hands to them. I don’t want to be a bad example to anyone with my personal actions, and I don’t want to be a bad advisor to someone with foolish words that are not of you. And as far as my eyes, hands, feet, and whatever else gets me in trouble goes, please be merciful to me as I don’t have the courage to disavow them.

 
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Posted by on March 9, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – How Much do I Think God Can Do? (Matthew 17:24-27)

07 Mar

24 After Jesus and his disciples arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma temple tax came to Peter and asked, “Doesn’t your teacher pay the temple tax?”

25 “Yes, he does,” he replied.

When Peter came into the house, Jesus was the first to speak. “What do you think, Simon?” he asked. “From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes—from their own children or from others?”

26 “From others,” Peter answered.

“Then the children are exempt,” Jesus said to him. 27 “But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.”

Dear God, the first thing I thought when I heard this story was, “Wow, Jesus is really feeling it now.” What I mean by that is that, after the transfiguration he is seemingly really feeling how much power he really has. I like how he addresses Peter’s issue on taxes before Peter even says anything. Then he tells Peter where to find some gold, and it is in a most unlikely place. It doesn’t say what Peter found when he caught the fish, but I would venture to say that they wouldn’t have told the story if it didn’t work out.

I am thinking there is a lot of power that you have available to me, as your child, that I don’t even come close to scratching the surface of. There is power available for all of the challenges that I see around me. I just need to change my paradigm of what I expect from you. I have my nice little safe Christian version of what I expect from you, and I rarely really tap into your power. And I have to tell you, when I do I am always blown away by what you do.

Father, I want to spend this day focusing on a few issues that are in my life. I want to tap your power in these areas. One is our big issue at work. The other is my mother’s health. I have concerns about me as a parent. I have concerns about me as a husband. I also know we have some patients at work that really need your intervention. And there is my wife’s faith journey. I will dedicate this day to lifting all of these issues up to you. I need your power. I need you to move. And I want to be able to look at all of these things and see how you moved.

 
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Posted by on March 7, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Prophecy & Encouragement (Matthew 17:22-23)

06 Mar

22 When they came together in Galilee, he said to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men. 23 They will kill him, and on the third day he will be raised to life.” And the disciples were filled with grief.

Dear God, sometimes you keep us on a need-to-know basis (for our own good), and sometimes the path becomes apparent. But I go back to what my dad said once about prophecy. He said, “Prophecy isn’t as much about us knowing the future now, but about us knowing that God is in control as the future unveils itself.” In this case, Jesus was doing his best to let the disciples know what was going to happen so that they would have some string of hope to hold onto after he was killed.

As for Jesus, I am sure that his time with Elijah and Moses in the Transfiguration plays into this somehow. Were they confirming for him that what he felt was going to happen was really going to happen? Or were they just encouraging him as he faced the last lap of his earthly life? I have a feeling that Jesus knew what was going to happen so he didn’t need that confirmed. I think that God allowed Jesus to spend some time with Moses and Elijah so that Jesus could feel their encouragement.

There are times when you send me encouragement. I talked about it yesterday. There was another time, almost exactly a year ago, when I was concerned about an aspect of my marriage. My wife and I were worshipping at different churches because I had a mental barrier regarding going to the denomination she attended. She had started going there, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Thankfully, I was having breakfast with a friend on Friday morning and I was telling him about how I was feeling a distance between my wife and me. His admonishment to me was that I needed to “suck it up and go to church with my wife.” That was excellent advice. I followed it, and we have been attending together ever since. That whole experience taught me the importance of not only worshipping with my wife but also having someone in my life besides her who you can use to encourage and advise me.

Father, help me to hear your words through others. Give me the words for others and speak to them through me. I found out late yesterday about a man who passed away over the weekend. He was a patient at our clinic who we sent to specialists, but eventually advised to go on hospice. I feel bad for his family. I feel like I should find a way to reach out to them today, but I’m not sure what to do. I hope that you will provide them comfort and direction. Help them to feel your love for them and draw them into you through this experience.

 
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Posted by on March 6, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – Why Don’t I Fast More? (Matthew 17:14-21)

05 Mar

14 When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. 15 “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. 16 I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.”

17 “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” 18 Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed at that moment.

19 Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” [21]

Dear God, Mark’s telling of this story includes the line about this kind only coming out through prayer and fasting. Why don’t I fast more? I can tell you that every time I have fasted I have seen you move.

The most recent time was about two months ago. I was facing a funding crisis for a project on a Monday that would cost a lot of money. I was overwhelmed and distraught. So I decided to do something I haven’t done in a while and take a day to fast and pray about the situation. I did so the next day (Tuesday). The first thing that happened was that a large donor called me out of the blue on that very day and told me that he was thinking about us and the situation and to let him know if we need anything. Basically, he was good for a chunk of it. Then I contacted two different foundations who know us. They each told me that they would be willing to get us 1/3 of it. Then on Friday I talked to a fourth resource who told me that they would help. So, within four days I had nearly all of the money lined up. Why? Because I was so brilliant? No. I am convinced it is because I took the time to fast and pray, asking you to intervene in a big way—which you graciously did. I even emailed the first man and told him how you used him in my life.

Father, there are other things that I should fast and pray for. The leadoff hitter is probably my kids. They are teenagers and need your protection. I need to fast and pray for them. My marriage is approaching the 20-year mark, and I need to spend more time fasting for it. I have friends who are struggling. I need to fast and pray about that. Our organization at work is still facing formidable challenges. I need to fast and pray about that as well. So I commit to you that I will do that. I am going to pick a day that week to fast and pray to you so that you will be glorified in all of these areas of my life.

 
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Posted by on March 5, 2012 in Matthew

 

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Emails to God – “The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets

04 Mar

It’s song time again. We are blessed in that our local McDonald’s plays Christian music in its McCafe. I went there this week for a quick lunch and while I was there I heard this song. I had heard it before, but was so moved I downloaded it as a ringtone. I thought I would share it with you today.

First, here’s a link to the youtube video with lyrics. I thought you might enjoy hearing it. Also, here is a link to a Q&A with one of the songwriters, David Frey.

Now, without further ado, here are the lyrics to the song:

“The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets

Three in the morning, and I’m still awake
So I picked up a pen and a page
And I started writing just what I’d say
If we were face to face
I’d tell you just what you mean to me
Tell you these simple truths

Chorus
Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You’re gonna do great things
I already know
God’s got His hand on you
So don’t live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don’t forget why you’re here
Take your time and pray
These are the words I would say

Last time we spoke you said you were hurting
And I felt your pain in my heart
I want to tell you that I keep on praying
That love will find you where you are
I know cause I’ve already been there
So please here these simple truths

Chorus

From one simple life to another
I will say…come find peace in the Father

Be strong in the Lord
And never give up hope
You’re gonna do great things
I already know
God’s got His hand on you
So don’t live life in fear
Forgive and forget
But don’t forget why you’re here
Take your time and pray
And thank God for each day
His love will find a way
These are the words I would say

So here are some thoughts as I experience these verses and chorus

  • Verse 1: There have been times when a friend or a loved one have been put on my heart. Sometimes I stop what I am doing and pray. Sometimes I write a note. And sometimes I turn over and go back to sleep without doing anything. I guess the biggest challenge is to decide whether or not to write something down and send it to them. I don’t want to come off as preachy. I don’t want to come off as someone who has it all figured out. My preference is to start by talking about a struggle in my life so that they will know that I relate to them and am not coming from a know-it-all, self-righteous position. That’s probably the hardest part about writing notes to someone when they are struggling. How do you do it in a way that they are willing to hear?
  • Verse 2: Sometimes it is hard to know how deeply to get involved in someone else’s pain (or how much they do or do NOT want you to be involved. Do they want my solutions? Do they just want my sympathy? Do they even want to know I am praying for them or will that simple knowledge drive them further from God? I have had and continue to have friends who experience pain, and I sometimes have a hard time finding the line.
  • Bridge: It can sometimes sound trite to say, “Come find peace in the Father.” I really struggle with when to say this and when not to. When is someone ready to hear it and when aren’t they. I love God. I know I have found peace in God, even though there have been and continue to be periods of struggle. How do I offer that comfort to my friend or loved one when they are in pain?
  • Chorus: Whenever I have heard this chorus in the past I have always thought of my children. I heard Rich Mullins say one time that he wrote the song “Bound to Come Some Trouble” as the words he would speak to children he might have if he knew he could only tell them one thing. I think that this chorus’ collection of little Christian phrases is actually pretty inclusive of what I would hope for my children.

The last question is, is there anything in this song that is for me now? The part of the chorus that hits me each time is, “Don’t live life in fear.” I have different things in my life that I fear, but this is a reminder that there is no place for fear in my life when I have Christ. That’s not to say that bad things won’t happen. It’s just that I shouldn’t fear when they do.

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2012 in Hymns and Songs

 

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